boredompaw

[boredompaw]

: Me trying to escape the camp  :D    Patreon   ♡

[boredompaw]

Jumping on this trend like✌️

#arcane brainrot

[boredompaw]

[boredompaw]

people should watch more old movies. imagine what people would be like if they watched more old movies. they’d be freaks like me. also they would remember that gay people weren’t invented in 2004

[boredompaw]

Another Arcane x Leyendecker piece, this time of Piltover’s Finest

[boredompaw]

Bryn and The Mist Dragons

[boredompaw]

Here was a fun challenge @artofkaywitt, @snoelledarts, and I did!!! We each did our AU Viktors and then traded off between each other on each step! This was so much fun!!! Thanks you two!!

#Bro THEY DO ART AND WRITING WTF HOW HOW HOW #arcane fixation #arcane show #How

[boredompaw]

EXCUSE ME THIS I

I have so much to do but yeah better spend my time editing a photo of young Ian McKellen to make him look like Viktor, thanks to @10v3ly 😌

#jayvik #arcane show #arcane fixation

[boredompaw]

[boredompaw]

Words are hard. We agreed on this. You said a lot of times you don't bother writing long because it'll never quite convey everything you need it to. But I try, regardless. I woke up this morning and everything felt fuzzy around the edges. Fell asleep with the lights on, face and teeth unwashed. Phone in hand and when I opened it, there was the snap screen, staring back at me. I'd fallen asleep without sending you a well wish for your plane trip, but you had a gn/gm waiting for me. I'm afraid of losing whatever this is. The quiet hmms over the phone and the scratch of stubble as you press your face into my neck and the press of eyelashes brushing against my cheek and being able to push my fingers through your hair and brush it out of your face and the way my hand barely shows when our fingers are knit together. Your smell. On my clothes. On your hoodie you gave to me. The presence that lingers. When you leave. It'll disappear eventually. I can't think about that right now. The way you don't know quite what to do with your arms and how (you better thank god I'm flexible) I can bend myself just a little more than other people so that we can still cuddle together even when you sit in that stupid awkward position. All of it cliche in the ways that would always push my button in books, but it doesn't bother me the way it would've before all this.

The way we fall silent after long hugs and the way you always go along with it when I break the silence with a mundane observation about lighting or colors, stupid memes I reference, or impulsive talk of the future. The way you tried drawing and reading more just because I like to. Or the way you're ok with me tracing the ridges of bones along your upper body and telling you about why I'd collect them. The way you put up with my chaos over text even when you're trying to be sweet and sincere and meaningful but I'm not having it. How you try and cater to my needs and make note of the smallest things I say, and even when I try it fall so much shorter of everything you do. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and being the first person outside of my friends I felt safe coming out to an I will never. ever. forget your words telling me it was fine and you'd take me for who I was. Thank you for never being pushy and taking it in stride when I know you want to keep kissing but it's too much for me and I push your face away. Thank you for your tolerance. For every sacrifice of your own. Whatever this is, whatever it could've been (something special, I'm sure). I'm going to miss it all so god damn much. I don't want it to end.

You asked me yesterday, "when do we cry?" I'm glad it was you this time to broach the topic because it hurts so bad after last time it went numb after Monday. You know I want to continue, and you do, partly. You spoke from the heart last time, I think. Your first words in answer, before you had too much time to process the emotional strings. You don't want it to end badly, and you want to see what the world has to offer. And that's the most reasonable answer there is, the best way forwards, objectively. But it's not like that ever stopped something from hurting. And again, this time around, when we talked, you said we should try continuing into the fall. But it's because you know I want to. Another sacrifice, another tally. That count, whether you know it or not, is being kept track of, in my mind and yours. That breeds resentment. I told you this and we talked more. Into the night. Who cares, that our parents would ask questions later, the why's the where's the who's. It falls away.

This is now. This is important. There's still three weeks. Just sit and think on it, you don't need to have an answer right away. It's enough. It's not enough. I don't know what I want. It's immobilizing. Don't grieve now. I'm here for you. Fuck. Look at me. Look at me. It's going to be ok it's going to be ok it'sgoing to beokok it'sgoingtobeokit'sgoingtobe-- I told you I sound like I laugh when I cry. There's no right way forwards. But forwards we march, even as every step taken tears something from you and leaves you wondering what could have been. Pick one door, and close ten others that you hadn't realize had been open and beckoning. But I know this relationship won't work if we don't mutually agree on it.

I told you to flip a coin, and you looked wounded. No, not like that. I told you to assign an option to each side, and whichever your gut tugs towards, that's what you really want. You broke down and cried the whole way back. Cried, because you know deep down which way your scales tip. And it's not the way mine goes. Maybe not the way you want yours to go. But I'm not ready to accept that yet. Neither are you. For now, we can pretend. I keep telling myself if I hope hard enough we can go on into the unknown, the next four years, who knows. The one thing's that guaranteed is that we have more hard conversations coming. But your answer doesn't change the way I'm going to interact with you or how we proceed for the next twenty-something days (thinking about the time passing feels like death by a thousand cuts). And every time I think about it, it hurts in that way where your hear palpitates and you feel the pressure in your chest and behind your eyes and in your throat build and build and build until you feel like you could burst. Being able to cry on command has never been this easy. I'm afraid of what comes next. That fear of losing something unique and irreplaceable. That fact that it's never going to be quite like this again. The permanence. All the never's and forever's because no matter which way we go, we can't go back. It's an obvious fact of the world, and I hate it.

It hurt so bad yesterday. But at the very least, even when the heart loses its sense of self preservation at least the mind stays rational. It's so strange to feel so damn numb-- even seeing the stupid spider that decided to inhabit my sock drawer elicited only a small twinge of disgust this morning, as I closed the drawer to deal with later. I feel a little guilty but maybe we cna be brothers in arms in this sense. Numb grievers, for a little while longer, even if my dam breaks so much more often then yours does. I still don't know if I'd call it love. "I love you" seems to come quite easily for you. Not for me. Words might be hard but they hold a lot of weight to them as well. I think you'd agree that nothing really encompasses the meaning of anything fully. But for everything I said earlier about my selfishness and your sacrifices, maybe it's time for me to pull my own weight. From what I could tell, you're not going to have the willpower to end things. It's going to be so fucking hard. But, whether you yourself know it or not yet, we're going to part ways. It's for the best. But getting this off my chest helps, and maybe I'll sleep just a little bit better tonight.

#personal vent #cw vent #boredompaws journals #honestly really feeling the gif tho

[boredompaw]

this is the funniest god damn thing ive ever seen

#boredompaws shitposts

[boredompaw]

leon kennedy running away from mr x

#i hate it here #this is true tho #i ran a lot of my track meets with that kind of hair #and lemme tell ya #the pictures were interesting #resident evil tho whyyahhahah #boredompaws shitposts

[boredompaw]

"kids are detransitioning"

no. actually, children now feel comfortable and accepted enough to experiment with their gender, pronouns, name, and presentation. and while some of them end up realizing they were cis the entire time, they now have a new understanding and appreciation for one of the most marginalized and abused groups of people in the world.

there, I fixed your shitty headline.

#boredompaws normie posts

[boredompaw]

Mini-comic based on the first paragraph of Time Was Never Kind by Silekim on AO3, about an aged up Viktor and Jayce. It's a good read, if not a little sad.

Time had always been Viktor's worst enemy. He spent his life fighting it, trying, with the sick despair that the fear of death implanted in every man to survive, to defeat it, to make it matter no more. But years had passed, and Viktor grew tired of having to battle against his own body, against himself. As he laid in his bed, he let his tired eyes lazily follow the clouds that hid Piltover from him, a fragile and broken dome, protecting, despite all, what was beautiful under it. With a sigh, his pale hand crumpled the dark sheets against his chest, just above his heart. Oh, how time had flown…

-Silekim

#comic #mini comic #digital art #artist on tumblr #arcane fixation #arcane show #fanart #fanart for fanfic #this has taken me too much work on and off with school #but i'm free from the bindings of school now #i graduated bitches haha #viktor arcane #god i loved this fic so much #jayvik #viktor

[boredompaw]

Tagging on ao3 and-

what's barry bee doin' there

#arcane fixation #arcane show #what the actual fu #lmfao #boredompaws shitposts

[boredompaw]

He's gonna send you to detention

#arcane fixation #arcane show #oh hes hot #im looking respectfully

[boredompaw]

real event that occured that i cant stop thinking about

#why are you going into incognito #Whyyy #why indeed #fuckin sent me right then and there #boredompaws shitposts