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dennona · 1 year

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STOP Giving Jake Lockley the Evil Eye

To the artists who feel the bizarre compulsion to draw Jake Lockley with one red eye, here is a step-by-step tutorial:

Step 1: Don’t.

Step 2: See Step 1.

Here’s why. The single red eye promotes the idea of the “evil alter” trope. It suggests that Jake is an alter who has “the evil eye” or “has blood in his eye.” It indicates that he’s the violent, unhinged one who is driven by his “baser instincts.”

When you promote this idea through your art and spread it around on the internet, you are further marginalizing the already marginalized DID community.

There is a responsibility in art. As artists, you have the power to shape the discourse of ideas.

When you promote the idea that an alter within a DID system is “evil,” you are reinforcing this false and harmful stereotype that has been portrayed in media for DECADES. You are reinforcing stigmas in a way that has an impact on REAL PEOPLE’S lives.

It doesn’t matter that a promo photo of Oscar as Jake shows him wearing a single contact lens that makes one pupil larger. The production team rejected this look for Jake in the show. Both of his pupils are the same size when we see him in his scene.

It doesn’t matter that Jake shoots Harrow. He is enacting eye-for-an-eye justice to end a cycle of abuse and violence (as is his right as a good Jewish boy).

Marc is the only one who has one pupil that’s larger than the other, in the first scene of Episode 5. The uneven pupils suggests that Marc has been hit so hard that he has a concussion.

And YES, that is Marc in the opening of Ep. 5. It is not Jake. Mohamed Diab has confirmed multiple times that this is Marc. And regardless, we KNOW that it is Marc. Jake would never take a sharp object and try to hurt himself with it. That’s Marc’s MO. At this point, Jake is LITERALLY rolling over in his sarcophagus, trying to get Marc out of there.

So please, artists, I beg you, the next time you get the urge to draw Jake with one red eye, refer to the tutorial above…

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dennona · 2 years

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In relation to Jake Lockley Wrestles with God.

As always your analysis is amazing! It's got my head reeling! And full of so many questions!

The frustrating bit is that we don't know when Jake was manifested! Steven was young enough to possibly study and learn about Jewish culture and traditions. Let's assume Jake didn't come around until Marc was mid teenager. How much may have been expected of him at that point to learn. He would have come around when all teenagers are in their most stressful and emotional time in their lives.

But what point in Jewish culture is he jumping headlong into? Assuming we are past the traditional Bar Mitzvah age, what are the next important steps? Things he would have been thrown into without prior intensive teaching and training.

Considering Jake has taken up the Hispanic heritage, presumably in Chicago, he is also thrown into other traditions that are expected of him. To be Hombre. To be tough and to always win.

I always saw Jake as the rebellious one. The one to take to heart the 'question' part of the Torah. Question the teachings. Demand answers of those around him. Demand that god be held accountable for his pain and mistreatment.

He will not only wrestle with god, but he will set out to stand over them and demand to be seen. So in talking to Harrow in Spanish, talking to Helen in Spanish, he is telling god "I am here. I will win. Because of this, you will lose."

Thank you @drifting-pieces-blog-blog for your Ask! Based on what we know about Jake, I have a feeling that his triggers to front have as much to do with protecting Marc from himself as protecting the system from outside threats.

Marc is more than capable of taking care of business in a fight. He is skilled, he has military training, and he has an appetite for both giving and receiving punches.

In fact, I think that Marc enjoys taking hits. He gets high on the sweat and the blood. He encourages people to try to take him down: “What, are we dancin'? We fightin'? What are we gonna do?” When he gets onto that rooftop in Cairo, he’s not afraid. He’s excited to get into this brawl.

But he also uses fighting to self-punish. To self-flagellate. Khonshu knows this, too. He tells Marc in a voice that’s both sardonic and truthful, “I know that you enjoy the work I have for you.”

I’m going to put the rest under a read-more. And I’m adding a trigger warning to this post for self-harm.

Marc often follows Khonshu’s directives and fights evildoers as a way to self-harm. To punish himself for Roro’s death. To punish himself for all the deaths that have come after. To punish himself for being a killer. To let someone who is “the worst of the worst” (in his mind, just as bad as him) take him down. And that’s when Jake steps in. Because there are times when Marc takes it too far. As he says to Steven, “You try taking a life. See how quickly you forget. Kept wishing I'd fail and one of them would kill me instead. The healing ended up being a curse.” And that’s when the body is at risk. Not necessarily at risk of death; at least, not while they have Khonshu’s healing to preserve them. But at risk of harm. At risk of hopelessness. At risk of giving up. Because they might not die, but they can still feel the pain of death. And that’s Jake’s trigger to front. He decimates whoever they are fighting against. Cause it’s the only way to get Marc to stop.

There are other times, too, when Jake takes Marc out of a self-harm spiral. Because another method Marc has of self-harm is drinking. When you’re raised by a parent or a parental figure who is an alcoholic, drinking as a means of self-harm is a special kind of hell. It perpetuates the cycle of abuse, because now you’re becoming the thing you hated as a child. And I think there are times when Marc is drunk where he comes close to hurting himself in a way that he wouldn’t be able to recover from (or at least, not without Khonshu’s healing powers). And Jake steps in before he can get to that point.

Remember those gloves on the nightstand in their little hotel room in Cairo? At the beginning of the final scene in Ep. 2, the camera follows Steven’s gaze into the room. Steven has been kept on the inside for a while (represented by the sheet that briefly covers the mirror, before falling to the ground). Perhaps there was a fight between Steven and Marc, at which point Marc smashed the mirror and put the sheet over it. Both Steven’s and Marc’s hands are bloody. However, there was more damage done to the room after Marc put the sheet up, because when Steven looks out, he appears genuinely shocked and distressed at the amount of destruction that Marc has caused in the room. He’s seeing this sight for the first time. Marc sits on the floor, finishing a bottle of whisky. Then the camera pans over to the nightstand. We see the pair of black gloves. We don't realize until the very last scene of Ep. 6 what these gloves signify. These are Jake's gloves.

What was Jake doing? From what we know of him, he was probably wrestling Marc back from the cliff's edge, and then leaving without a trail to follow. Marc is at his lowest point. He’s lost the scarab, forcing him to “probably get himself killed running around Cairo” looking for Harrow’s followers, as Layla puts it. Layla has found him, which means that she’s in danger, and she has found out about Steven, which is a point of deep shame for Marc. As he says later, “For what it's worth, I had it under control until very recently.” Steven is “it” in this scenario. To put this in perspective, Marc is fine with Layla knowing that he’s killed people; however, her knowing about the way that his system has been shaped by their trauma is painful and humiliating — it’s more than he can bear. To make matters worse, Khonshu is furious with him, which Marc worries will cause the old god to double down on his threats to make Layla his next avatar. And worst of all, Steven has found out about him, and he’s seemed to have confirmed one of Marc’s greatest fears — if Steven knows WHO Marc is, he will hate Marc forever. And Marc will deserve that hatred. And I think there’s part of Marc that wishes he could just drink himself into oblivion. To thrash wildly against the room until he breaks himself to pieces. He’s hopeless and defeated. And that’s Jake’s cue.

Maybe Marc just thinks he blacked out for a while from the whisky. Jake’s gloves are symbolic of him being unknown to Marc and Steven. Jake doesn't even leave a trace of fingerprints for Marc and Steven to find. He is clandestine. Meticulous. Structured and organized. He has to be. If Marc or Steven knew about him, they could contend with him (like they do with each other), and those few seconds could mean the difference between life and death. Neither Marc nor Steven have gotten a more than a fleeting glimpse of Jake. A sense of someone, hovering on the edges of their awareness. But he’s there. And he keeps them safe. Jake Lockley has a JOB to do. His job is to protect the system from harm, even at the cost of his own connection with them.

As for when Jake came into being, I think it’s possible he first fronted during the MK system’s later childhood or early adolescence, at least based on my analysis that he protects against some specific types of self-harm. And while he might not have experienced their Jewish education in the way that Steven and Marc did, he would still have had plenty of Jewish experiences. The tutoring and training that prepares a child for their Bar Mitzvah is just the beginning of Jewish life. There is a world of Jewish experience that comes after. The Bar Mitzvah is the rite of passage in which a child becomes a responsible member of Jewish life. Once the child crosses that threshold, they now have duties to their family and to the community.

And Jake was there for that, I think. And he probably saw the utter hypocrisy in the MK system having to be performatively Jewish in public while being abused and neglected within an ostensibly Jewish home.

I can imagine he has his own associations with Jewishness — ways of being Jewish that are uniquely his, that he gets to own. I can empathize with Jake’s rejection of that thin veneer of performative faith that was used to cover up the abuse that lay just below the surface. I can also identify with his need to demand retribution for that abuse. He follows a doctrine of “an eye for an eye,” in which he demands accountability for the wrongs committed against him and the MK system; he wants to put an end to the cycle of abuse.

I agree that Jake would be likely to question God, as I wrote about in the post you mentioned. He would wrestle with the religious teachings that he received piecemeal and second-hand from his disjointed time growing up. He would have been the one most likely to experience their Jewishness as an outsider looking in. That kind of forced distance gives perspective. It’s an elevation above the chessboard — a vantage point that can allow for certain insights, like the insight not to take things at face value, but instead to fight back. To demand autonomy. To rebel. To follow one’s own path. Jake’s doctrine is one of LIFE, and he will wrestle with anyone who tries to take away his personhood. Including Marc.

As for his chosen communities, I can see him being drawn to explore his Latino heritage. To find strength in that. To reclaim that part of himself. To speak with others who are NOT the family. Because in Chicago in the 90s and 00s, he would have found some Latine Jewish community. But it would have primarily been older people; not teenagers. So I can imagine he would have sought out Hispanic community and learned about his heritage there. To go where the Spectors are not known, so that Jake can have at least a few people who know him by his name.

I can see him wrestling to form an identity that is his, and not handed down with the associated baggage from his forefathers. As he should. Because we who are outsiders often have the greatest claim to our cultural heritage. The greatest claim to be seen and acknowledged as having a RIGHT to it. Because it wasn’t handed to us; it doesn’t come to us easily. Instead, we have had to FIGHT to make it our own.

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dennona · 2 years

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must haves for moon knight season 2

1) needs to have a moment where harrow and khonshus vocabulary is explicitly called out and reinforced as abusive and ableist and harmful

2) the words Dissociative Identity Disorder need to be said on screen so that people can Know That Is What It Is.

3) deconstruction of “evil alter” vis a vis Jake Lockley. he is not a frenzied murderer, he’s a protector. hes more than just “the guy who kills people”

4) establishment of scenes where the Moon Knight system lives casually and domestically as people. sorry but i just want to see them living out their routine without interruption by fucking. end of the world kaiju battles. i need it to be proof to the masses that people with neurodivergence can live their lives.

5) more clearly autistic moments

6) more moments that tie to their jewishness

7) more layla. i need to know more about her backstory and her life outside of marc and steven

8) more about the egyptian pantheon lol. i was so fascinated by the other avatars and it kinda pissed me off that they kind of all. got killed. before we could learn more about how the rest of the avatars live.

if anyone has other suggestions id love to hear them

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dennona · 2 years

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Jake Lockley Wrestles with God

Soooo since I posted my Jewish Analysis of Jake Lockley in the MCU yesterday, I’ve been thinking more about Jake’s connection to his Jewishness.

As I mentioned in my analysis of the Jewish themes in Moon Knight, the Moon Knight system’s connection and relationship to their Jewishness can be seen through the appearances of their Magen David necklace.

On Jake, their Magen David is covered. It’s hidden beneath the collar he wears, which is printed with a combination of Mayan symbols, representing the MK system’s Latine heritage, and Egyptian hieroglyphs, indicating the claim that Khonshu still asserts over them.

But even though he may not connect with his Jewishness in the same way that Steven does, even though he may associate more with their Latine heritage, a Jewish person still bears a Jewish soul. That is why Marc felt so out of place in the Field of Reeds. His Jewish soul is not meant to live on in an Egyptian afterlife.

Then I was chatting to @khonshoe about Judaism, and it struck me, Jake is JACOB.

A Rabbi once explained Jewishness to me using the story of Jacob wrestling with the Angel.

After Jacob (the Jewish Patriarch) wrestled the Angel, he was given the name “Israel,” which can be translated as “He Who Wrestles with God.” As in, a person who doesn’t follow God’s orders blindly, but who fights for his own personhood against God, and debates God, and reinterprets God’s directives for each new context.

This is our birthright as Jewish people. As Jews, we are encouraged to “wrestle” with God — to struggle with the text. Not just to accept the Torah on face value, but instead to find personal meaning in God’s words.

And I think that’s maybe how Jake, OUR Jake, asserts his Jewishness.

He is not going to blindly follow divine orders, no matter which God or gods they come from.

Jake doesn’t follow Khonshu’s commands out of a sense of guilt and duty like Marc does. He makes Khonshu’s directives personal to him, so that he can maintain his personhood. And I can imagine him pushing back against Khonshu, more than Marc does. Khonshu will WISH he had Marc to manipulate again after dealing with Jake’s level of personal autonomy.

And then I started looking at artwork of Jacob wrestling the Angel…

And now I can’t stop seeing Jake and Khonshu, wrestling with each other, on the edge of a precipice, fighting each other for control…

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dennona · 2 years

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A Jewish Analysis of Jake Lockley (or, How the Moon Knight System Are Jewish AND Latine)

Sooo I have been working on a loooong meta on Jake Lockley’s portrayal in the MCU. Like, 5000 words long. It’s part of my Autistic Analysis of Moon Knight series. (In case you doubted my autistic capacity to write a chapter-length meta about a character with a few minutes of screentime — though as you’ll see in my meta, he appears extensively throughout the series, as a silhouette that’s traced in the space between Marc’s and Steven’s lives.)

You can read the other parts of my Analyses here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

But I have a few sections of this Jake meta that deserve their own post. This is one of them.

The implications of this particular analysis extend beyond Jake’s characterization and tie into the way that the Spector family is represented in the Moon Knight series. Particularly in relation to the family’s Jewishness.

Keep reading

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dennona · 2 years

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Steven’s loft

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dennona · 2 years

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Got another one for the "you're the song i sing again and again" collection! Also went back in the AO3 version and added the prompts I based each chapter off to the chapter summary. (May go back and do that with the tumblr versions too but like, later, I need to go to bed.) Full version is here, AO3 link will be in a reblog!

iv.

Prompts: feeling for the other’s hand / walking hand in hand

Even when they started drifting apart, Marc instinctively held her hand whenever he could.

That gesture alone made the divorce papers a shock. Yes, he’d been talking to her less and less, yes, she had the feeling he wasn’t telling her about something. But even if he wasn’t reaching out emotionally, he was still reaching out physically. His hand in hers. It made her wonder how much he actually wanted that divorce.

Turned out, she’d been right to wonder.

Ironically, Marc only withdrew the hand-holding in the wake of their reconciliation. It was another forced distance on his part, though for completely different reasons. To protect her the first time; this time, she suspected, because he wasn’t sure he could go back to that kind of thing. They had so much to sort through that jumping right back into the relationship like nothing had happened seemed like a bad idea. Figure things out first, take it slow. It was the same logic that had them sleeping in separate apartments most nights.

But even that had changed. Even every night turned to most nights as she started falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie, or he started coming over at any time of night when the nightmares kept him up. They were mending, carefully.

Part of that mending was making their boundaries clear. Communicating.

It didn’t always have to be with words, either.

They were out shopping. It was during sensory-friendly hours, one of Steven’s suggestions, but still trying to make their way through as quickly as possible. Not so much to prevent a meltdown; they were just hungry enough to make shopping dangerous and Marc, direct quote, could barely choose what socks to wear this morning, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to pick between sauce brands. She could see some of that exhaustion on his face around halfway through. His hand kept clenching and unclenching anxiously.

She didn’t take it, not right away. She did gently brush the back of her hand against his. An invitation. If you want to, I don’t mind.

Layla was expecting a lot more hesitation. He took her hand almost immediately, as if that old instinct only needed a touch to wake back up again. He didn’t let go until he absolutely had to while they were checking out.

They didn’t say anything about it, but he started holding her hand again after–always starting with that first, careful touch, then taking her hand fully when she didn’t pull away.

She never pulled away, of course. And as long as he was reaching out to her, she never would.

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dennona · 2 years

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‘i bet if i could touch your soul with my fingers, it would be the softest thing that i ever felt’ - eUë

a lil drabble below for anyone in need of a softer read based on this poem excerpt i found. ive always been fond of the idea that steven often orates what he reads, even before he knew about marc or jake.

it’s not uncommon for Steven to sit alone, and read aloud. to any outside observer, it certainly may look strange, but he had never been one to worry what others were thinking- at least not with a book of poetry in hand.

"I would love to endlessly walk in the garden of your soul,” he recites, then pauses when he sees movement in the reflection of the window he sits beside. it’s not the only time steven has had a captivated audience, but it’s still an unfamiliar sensation- Marc’s eyeing his book with sudden interest.

‘ …. a mirror of your smile I assume, with much more depth like an ocean of beauty.." Steven reads on, gaze following the dark black ink on the rugged and well-loved pages easily, it’s not the first time he’s enjoyed this poem, nor did he intend for it to be the last.

From the corner of his eye, marc looks up as he trails off, as if he suddenly forgot he was much too busy and cool for things like ‘poetry’. His brows are furrowed slightly, and steven would jest about not thinking too hard, but he settles instead for something softer.

‘Penny for your thoughts, mate?’ he says, leaning back in his chair as he slips a finger between the leaflets of rough paper to keep his place.

Marc blinks, and his cheeks turn a ruddy hue as he shifts in the reflection, looking slightly defensive. ‘I-‘ he starts, then stops, then shrugs again.

‘It.. that just.. reminds me of layla,’ marc says (somewhat defeatedly), taking note that he’s caught both steven and Jake’s attention. They’re wearing eerily identical grins and Marc’s eyes narrow, flush creeping up the back of his neck and to his ears- ‘Shut up, don’t you dare say a word, Steven-‘

‘Oi, I didn’t even-‘

‘Not a word!’

Jake’s laughter is louder this time, and even marc can’t seem to fight an embarrassed sort of wry smile.

Later, Steven prints an extra copy of the poem and tapes it to the fish tank, over top of postcards he doesn’t recognise. Marc uses one of his green highlighters to underline his favourite part (and makes everyone swear not to tell Layla ((Steven says nothing when he spots the way Jake’s fingers are crossed behind his back).

“i bet if i could touch your soul with my fingers, it would be the softest thing that i ever felt”

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dennona · 2 years

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Do you rememeber when Khonshu's selling point of binding Marc's very being to his was getting to 'eradicate only the worst, those who deserve it'? Remember when Khonshu only took one look at Marc and knew exactly how to exploit his every trauma and bend him at a moment's notice? Remember when he offered to save Marc's life but Marc didn't wanna be saved he wanted to be eradicated instead? Remember when Marc said 'He shot me too, I was supposed to die that night. But I didn't die that night. And I should have.' because even after all the good he's done he still regrets not pulling the trigger? Me too.

"No greater desire exists than a wounded person's need for another wound." -Georges Bataille

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dennona · 2 years

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Today I visited some of the Moon Knight filming locations in Budapest.

I finally had some time to walk around in the city. 😁

Outside of Steven's apartment was filmed in Anker köz. I don't know how they managed to put a double-decker bus there, the street is so narrow.

Next is the outside of the museum Steven works at. (I think it's supposed to be the British Museum?) In Hungary it's the Museum of Fine Arts. (There's a permanent exhibition of Egypt here.)

Steven has his after work talk with the golden living statue guy in Madách tér. (It's also next to Anker köz.)

Steven accidentally stoods up his coworker at Bajcsy-Zsilinszy köz. There is an actual restaurant on the corner, but it's closed right now. (It looks very different.) In the background you can see St. Stephen's Basilica.

And in the second episode where Moon Knight kills the jackal and Marc has a talk with Steven is at Vajdahunyad Castle. (I don't have any good pictures of it at night.)

Arthur Harrow's little village was filmed in the city too, but I'm not sure exactly where. Maybe I'll check it out when I find out. The were more scenes filmed in Hungary. The German village is in Szentendre, north of Budapest, and Mogart's castle in Nádasdladány, and also many of the interior shots.

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dennona · 2 years

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Now I'm curious on how you think Khonshu never makes them forget their failures connected to them not having any scars on their body cause that almost has sinister connotations there

It just seems strange to me that we've seen them unclothed multiple times and there's just.. nothing.

I mean. You can zoom in on those. If you want to.

It's not just the fact that there's nothing from childhood, it's that.. this man was in the military. And then he was a wanted mercenary, with a reputation at that. He's the guy that takes the punch to get close, instead of dodging it. But there's no proof of any of that, anywhere on him.

And it makes me think about the way Khonshu says to Marc, you think you own this body? It belongs to me.

I'm not sure I'm sold on the whole vanity perspective, for one thing. Healing the body for the sake of appearances doesn't really seem like his gig, godly perfectionism or not. And I'm not so sure there's a practical need for it either, unless he had some kind of physically debilitating scarring that made it more difficult to do what Khonshu needed.

My running theory, headcanon, whatever you wanna call it, is based on the idea of haunting, of giving and taking away, but never letting them forget. We know Marc's haunted by pain, something that comes to him in different forms, and Khonshu has a deeper than most understanding of that.

I feel the pain inside of you.

So sure, he heals the body, takes away every injury, old and new. But pain grows, it morphs and shifts and twists within, without always leaving an outward mark. What if there were flashbacks to hurt, felt in the same places where scars were once brushed away. Moments in sleep, nightmares where he's forced to relive every cracked bone, every inch of broken skin, every creeping bruise.

What if Khonshu waited until Marc forgot, when he'd let the thought slip away for a second, and then forced it to the front of his awareness again? And maybe he doesn't even know, just assumes this is another symptom that he has to live with, proof that he is unwell and needs help.

But he never asks, because he feels like he deserves to remember.

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dennona · 2 years

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Let’s Gooooooo.

STEVEN!

This bucket of sunshine isn’t so innocent as people keep proclaiming. Sure, comics Steven isn’t a fan of violence, but he knows how to throw a punch as much as the other two. Perhaps a bit more refined in his fighting than Marc and Jake, but he knows how to wear the cowl.

Comic Steven aside, let’s have a look at everyone’s favorite MCU big eyed derpy smile heart and soul. I cannot stand the babyfiers. “Little sweet baby girl meow meow.” Sure. terms of endearment. Why not. Whatever gets your rocks off I guess.

But he is so much more. He is wicked smart. He is observant. He picks things up that peak his interest or that he finds useful and he runs with them.

He is Marc’s emotional and spiritual protector. Who knows how long he has been pulling Marc out of strange situations. Talking his way out of bad situations.

There’s contention on who was driving the body when Marc was fighting the Arab gang. The first switch when Marc finds himself in the taxi cab, I believe that was Steven. Steven wanted to go home. He didn’t understand why they were there because Marc did not communicate. He thought Marc was a violent loving murderer and if he could get Marc away from all this, then no one would get violently murdered.

But where did we leave Marc in that fight? Holding a knife to a man’s neck. When Steven took over, he had to backtrack. He would have had to assure three guys that wanted to kill him that “Nawh, it’s alright Mate. Just a misunderstanding.”

When Marc meets back up with them, they are confused. A man that just ran them down and tried to kill them suddenly changed his mind. “You let us go.” What an interesting phrase. Steven “Let them go”.

I like to imagine Steven smiled, helped them back up, straightened their ruffled collars, all while apologizing and muttering about how horrid all this was. I’d probably look confused and a little afraid too. What power play is this?

The thing is, Steven casually walked away from that and got in a taxi with directions to go to the airport. He is in a foreign country and does not speak the language. I don’t know about you, but I’d be absolutely terrified. I have a hard enough time dealing with being lost in my own country.

Steven screams and cries and is afraid of a lot of things. He’s easily stressed, but he knows how to handle himself. He gets them through those things with CONVICTION. Scary dead bird god chasing him down the hall demanding that he give back the bag? Steven clutches the bad tighter and RUNS.

He’s just been kidnapped by a group that he has seen murder someone and that has tried to murder him more than once, and he is ready to talk his way out of it. He listens to their side patiently. He thinks it all over.

He assesses how much immediate danger he is in and takes the needed approach to survive. If he listens to Harrow, Harrow won’t kill him right away. So he listens. Harrow acts friendly towards him so he can relax a little and look around. What information is supplied and what information can he pick up by just observing? Steven soaks it all in and picks out the pieces that he can use.

When Harrow emotionally attacks Marc, Steven steps up. He pokes holes in Harrow’s arguments and takes his own stand. He isn’t afraid to question things. He isn’t afraid to voice where he finds them morally reprehensible.

If given the chance, he would have argued with them for hours. If he thought it would change the mind of one person there, he would have sat down and talked to them for days.

When it comes to fighting, Steven is hesitant at first. He isn’t used to it and probably has never needed to fight before, thanks to Marc. He’s seen people fight. He’s seen people box and probably even read a little about it at some point. He mimics what he thinks a fighter would look like and throws his first punch.

The thing about Steven is that he is easy to build up. His punch lands and he gains faith in himself so easily because he is HOPE. He’s got this. On the boat he knows he can save Marc and he does.

In the final battle, Marc opens conversation with Steven and when he fights, I believe Marc is in there acting as cheerleader and calling out moves to guide him. “Throw it! I’ll be there to catch it!” and he is. Steven learns so quickly and has his own ideas and you see how his fighting style not only blends with Marc’s, but turns into a graceful and calculated dance. He sees what Marc might miss and he acts. He knows he can’t fly but if someone is on his cape, he can take it off and Marc will be there to catch him again.

Steven is about trust. Never once does he think Layla can’t do something because he has to protect her. He sees immediately that Layla knows what she is doing and can handle herself. He trusts that she can help him get out of a situation if it overwhelms him.

When he understands Marc, he trusts that Marc will make the right call. In the final scene with Harrow, Steven stays out of the way. He doesn’t step in and plead with Marc not to kill him. This is Marc’s call.

What gives Steven that innocent charm is that he is so filled with the desire to do good. To be noticed. To connect. He is starved for attention and love. He is a lonely man who wants love. His whole life has been about not seeing the bad. Not seeing when people are cruel to him. Marc designed their childhood so that Steven would never see the horrible moments.

But where did that leave Steven? It made Steven look harder at everything else. It made him able to spot when things weren’t fair. It made him stand up against injustice and cruel people. He puts up with Donna’s treatment, but that is part of keeping his job. He is constantly talking back to her. He is voicing his opinion at every opportunity.

“You weren’t meant to see that.” But Marc is short sighted. Steven sees everything else. Steven understands when people are overlooking him. When people write him off. He knows that sometimes he tries too hard and makes people uncomfortable, but he is going to keep trying. He wants to get things right and he wants people to understand him.

He is Autistic and struggles with interaction, but that doesn’t stop him from seeking it out. He is excited to share what he knows. He wants other people to be excited with him. He wants to connect to someone and just talk about his special interests with them.

The first time someone truly sees Steven is Layla when he is building the star map. It catches him off guard so much that he practically has to reboot and dives right into something he understands and can talk about. When she doesn’t reject him or push him away, his desire to connect focuses on her so much that she could be his special interest. Seeing her smile, making her happy, just staring at her. And she lets him (I’ll post about Layla and her love language later, don’t you worry). This is absolutely what Steven needs to further build his confidence and let him know that he is doing the right thing.

The next time someone really sees Steven is on the boat when Steven rushes in and saves Marc. Marc originally told Steven to hide and Steven instead protected him. Steven has been given his place now. His ability to connect with Marc makes him that much stronger. Someone that can understand him. Someone that he can finally just exist with.

Moon Knight is about being SEEN. But what does that mean for Steven? It means being seen for who you are. What you are capable of. Not just being put in the corner because you are a cute little precious that needs protection. But about being seen for your own strengths! Give Steven the acknowledgement he deserves. See Steven for the absolute unit that he is.

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dennona · 2 years

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The Moon Knight show actually establishes WHY Moon Knight wouldn't be traceable by any authorities, actually. I mean, consider this:

In costume Moon Knight's face and body is completely covered, he leaves no fingerprints, hair or skin particles at any scene.

Out of costume, Jake uses gloves.

Jake and Steven undoubtedly have forged paperwork.

Layla's forger friend is familiar with Marc, and Layla is there to see her for a forged passport for her real identity. Meaning they are probably there to see her to get forged passports with other names.

Khonshu is shown transporting them from London to Egypt at the end of Ep 2.

Okay, but if that was just the Director using a neat transition then there's still Khonshu making them fly to Cairo during the full moon.

And there's also the Ennead opening portals all over the world for their Avatars, I don't think for a minute that Khonshu can't open a portal for travel too.

The End Credits scene is Jake removing Harrow from a hospital, shoving him in a white limo, and firing a gun without a silencer in the back of that limo just outside the entrance to the hospital, and nobody notices. That's got to be Khonshu's protection.

Basically, there's a reason the last thing Arthur could pull up on Marc Spector that looked incriminating was the archaeological dig even though later episodes establish there are a lot of people who were ACTUALLY killed by Marc. Because the show established multiple reasons why the authorities would be unable to connect Marc Spector to Moon Knight.

The only trail he's left across the globe is dead bodies and confused cops.

There's no reason to wonder at all where Moon Knight is in Civil War. He's taking care of Khonshu's business and no one who could stop him can find him.

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dennona · 2 years

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— Too short for ao3, too long to keep as a draft —

Gus, Rest In Peace, was a miracle.

Appearing from nowhere in a flat Steven didn’t remember buying but wasn’t about to question (because it’s a massive place in a rather expensive part of town that he is not about to inquire into how he— or his mum could afford), Gus was a rather sudden addition to Steven’s life that he took in stride, as he did most unexplainable things. Which was most things.

“Morning Gus,” he’d greeted on the second day of being a fish father, searching through the plastic bag from the pet store he frantically went out to get yesterday and grabbing the fish flakes, “you like the name Gus?”

He waited for the response he wouldn’t get and hummed as he tapped the food into the tank. “Yea, I think it’s rather lovely too.” He glanced out the window at the rain coming down, feeling something churn in his stomach and sighed. “Looks like it’s gunna be one of those days.”

And often times, it was one of those days. Most days were one of those days, Steven would think as he stuck his hand out the open window and felt the rain splatter on his palm. Then he’d sigh to himself and turn back to his fish, immaculate conception, and force himself to smile.

“I read it’s supposed to make you feel better.” He’d hold it for a few minutes, let it drop, and carry on.

Gus, Rest In Peace, was a miracle. But he’s dead now, and has been replaced with Gus II and Unnamed Goldfish ‘maybe possibly Gus III’.

I fought god and all I have to show for it is this lousy shirt, Steven reads off the oversized tshirt he found neatly folded into a square in his drawer. He sighs at it.

“Marc.”

‘Why would you automatically assume it was me?’ Marc asks defensively, but not without some mirth.

“Because,” Steven starts as he shrugs off the sweater he’s wearing and tossed it aside.

Because he doesn’t know when Jake would find the time to do it, what with his Moon Knighting— Moon Lighting? Mooning?… Fisting? He slides the shirt over his head. It, predictably, is too big and the sleeves reach to the tips of his elbows. He grins. It’s like he likes it.

‘I swear you don’t own a single article of clothing that properly fits,’ Marc grumbles from the little hand mirror they propped up on the desk Steven’s sitting at.

“I don’t like form fitting clothes.”

‘No you’re allergic to shit that actually fits the way it’s supposed to.’

Steven rolls his eyes as he slides on the reading glasses Marc will also insist he doesn’t need and selects a pen, sparkly green, and opens the notebook. “I’ve been told my style was ‘quirky museum tour guide and it works’.”

‘By who? A 16 year old?’

Yes, actually, but he’s not giving Marc the satisfaction of being right so he ignores him and flips to a blank page, right after Jake’s entry from yesterday night he wrote in dark blue ink. Detailing a mission he completed, followed by a movie he saw — that new Avatar film that’s apparently ‘alright, not worth the hype’ — and ending the night off with a rather long phone call with someone he only refers to as ‘that fucking asshole Frank’.

‘You wouldn’t need so many belts if you got pants that fit,’ Marc continues.

“And you wouldn’t need to borrow Jake’s suits for dates if you actually new how to dress,” he counters, which properly shuts the other man up.

With Marc effectively warded off, Steven clicks his pen a few times and chews on the end of it as he stares at the empty lines of he page in the dim lamp light. He’s mentally laying out what he wants to write about: his day, another one of those days which he hadn’t been having as recently lately, not with Marc and Jake there to distract him and Layla checking in to offer someone who isn’t a brick wall of repressed emotions to talk with.

But.

He glances out the window. It’s starting to get dark out, and it’s cloudy but that isn’t anything new. His gaze wanders to the fish tank, filled with two new fish that Jake takes extra care of and Marc acts like he doesn’t care about but Steven will sometimes catch him lingering in the reflection of the fish tank, the permanent lines of his face soft.

But.

They worked out a schedule for fronting, when and where. Steven handles almost all of the ‘normal people shit’, as Marc calls it, which includes shopping and cleaning and working during daylight hours. Because he’s used to it, because it’s good to have and keep routines. So all of his time is taken up doing something: talking or cleaning or sorting through vegetables or cooking or talking to Layla or rushing to the bus stop again. He doesn’t have time to amble and stare out the window. He doesn’t give himself time to sit at the desk and contemplate what to write in their Keeping up with the Spectors/Grants/Lockleys journal.

But.

It’s one of those days, and Gus, Rest In Peace, being the miracle that he was, vanished just as quickly and spontaneously as he appeared. Immaculate replacement.

Steven chews on the pen, then writes.

Today was one of those days. I haven’t had a great very many of them lately, but they never get easier. Nor do they get harder. They’re just those days, and I wish they’d stop entirely.

Anyway,

Steven has a joke. It’s not very complex, but it goes something like this:

In a normal conversation, someone will ask, “what do you do for a living?”

“I herd cats,” he’ll respond, then laugh at the raised eyebrow and utter bewilderment he’ll receive.

It’s funny until he realizes that really is his job. He, Steven Grant formerly of the gift shop, herds two cats known as Marc Spector and Jake Lockley, and it’s probably the reason he can’t keep a fish. Both cats are two people who could not be more different from him, and they both live in his— their mind.

He leaves the explanation out. Jokes aren’t funny once you explain them.

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