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elf-osamu · 7 months

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HELLO HI I WANT TO REQUEST SOMETHING SO BAD BUT I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING HELP BUT ANYTHING BLADE OR JING YUAN RELATED I’LL EAT IT UP 😍💅

𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬.

— amidst a sea of fans, he only had eyes for you.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

pairing. rockstar! Bade x gn! reader. content. gender neutral! reader, established relationship, fluff, flashbacks, brief mentions of suggestive content, Blade is pierced and tattooed, ooc Blade

word count – 3.3k

note: Lune you gave me the excuse to write about my two favourite things, Blade and rock+metal, so i am eternally grateful!!

“This next song is about a very special person in my life. Actually, scrap that,” his grip on the mic tightened, “It’s about the love of my life.”

Blade’s voice was husky as he spoke into the microphone, and the crowd went wild. They roared, screamed, cheered – only Blade could evoke such a visceral reaction from his fans, something he was well-known in the industry for. His lips curled into a smirk; the confidence he wore like a cape was palpable, considering he had an entire stadium yelling his name with every ounce of their being.

Amongst this vast sea of fans, Blade’s eyes found yours. He picked up his guitar, giving you a playful wink that set your cheeks aflame. A fan, thinking it was for her, hollered: “I LOVE YOU!” Blade’s chuckle reverberated throughout the stadium. He clasped the mic, saying, “And I love you. Every single one of you lovely people here tonight.” From his response you could almost hear the swooning of the fans, which only served to intensify his powerful aura. Blade’s charisma knew no bounds, his effect on his fans almost hypnotic.

His muscles bulged as he clasped his guitar close to his chest, droplets of sweat glistening over his tattooed skin like tiny diamonds. Silence descended over the stadium, each fan, each attendee drawing a bated breath. The love you and Blade shared was a secret, kept secure behind closed doors. Yet, as he struck the first chord on his guitar, you had never felt more seen in your life.

The lights dimmed, encompassing the expansive space in darkness. Blade then began to sing; his voice low, gravelly and sensual. Every syllable sent shivers ricocheting through your body, like sweet, viscous honey, you were intoxicated by his every word.

Blade’s stage presence contained such raw magnetism. His every move was perfectly calculated, honed to perfection after many years’ of practice. From the confident set of his hips, to the way his dark hair fell across his flushed face as he paced about the stage – the man could simply breathe and he would have people fainting. That was just the kind of man Blade was.

He ran a hand through his hair, swinging his head to the rhythm. An entire stadium followed along, bopping their heads in time – were an onlooker to see this, they would think the crowd were under some spell, with Blade as the enchanter. His ring-adorned fingers slid skillfully over the strings. The movements grew more rapid, the drums grew louder as all the instruments coalesced into one chorus.

Your heart hammered alongside the pounding of the drums. In the throng of people you were near invisible, though you knew Blade only had eyes for you. While other fans fervently hoped to have been the lyrical muse for this song, you knew it had been yourself. Every word sung was directed at you, for you.

Illuminated by a kaleidoscopic array of lights that danced off his skin, he looked mesmerising. Though he always claimed that you were his element, he clearly withheld the fact that the stage was truly his element. He was at ease, smiling easily. The way he prowled about onstage made it look like he had been born onstage, his singular purpose being to perform.

Yet, you saw what the others didn’t. The things that Blade endeavoured so hard to hide from his fans, you were privy to on a daily basis. How he would spend hours exercising so as to maintain the body the fans loved so much; how he would silently enter your bedroom, like a phantom, at ungodly hours of the night when he would stay up working; the lingering scent of alcohol after a particularly long and exhausting day. Blade masked his fatigue with zeal and charisma, but you knew what lay behind such a visage. The man, the rockstar: your lover.

When did Blade have the time to write this song? This tour had lasted several months already. You could rack your brain for answers all you wanted – Blade’s declaration was real and true. If you closed your eyes, though, a faint string – a semblance of the melody that blasted from the stage – unfurled itself in the halls of your memory. And the moment in which he had conceptualised the song crystallised, growing clearer than still waters.

It had not been long ago when you were both laying down on his couch, entwined in a long, tight embrace. His hands rested on the small of your back; every now and then Blade would idly run his fingers up and down your back. Shivers raced across your body and you closed your eyes. You could not help but release a contented sigh, earning a deep chuckle from Blade.

“Someone’s enjoying themselves,” he cooed. His crimson eyes had a playful glint as they regarded you, brimming with tender affection. A smile formed on your lips, and you brushed aside his fringe from his eyes – no matter how many times you insisted he cut it shorter, Blade stated it was part of his ‘look’. You had learned to let the matter rest.

“It’s rare that you get a day off, these days,” you had responded, fingers caressing his defined cheeks gently. The shadows beneath his eyes proved testament to that. Blade ruffled your hair affectionately.

“You’re right about that, sweetheart. And with the tour coming up…” It was scarce that Blade let his demeanour slip. Only behind closed doors, with you, did he do so. His lips thinned, his laugh lines deepening with regret. “I promise to make time for you,” he said with the utmost sincerity.

You nodded, responding, “I know.” And you did. Even when he would return home, sometimes too exhausted to stand, Blade would still ask you about your day. He would take a seat, hand tracing circles on your thigh as he listened with rapt attention as you recounted your day. There was no room to doubt Blade’s commitment to you, something that he had branded on his chest with a tattoo. If there was no time, Blade would tread on anything in his path to make time for you – that was just the kind of man he was.

His grip on you tightened like you were a dream he did not want to let go of. There was a hard set to his jaw, one which more often than not spoke of the gears in his mind turning. Determination blazed in his eyes, akin to an inferno. He sat up slightly, propping himself up with an elbow to see you better.

“No, seriously [y/n]. I hate leaving you behind. Why don’t you come with me this time?” he proposed, his voice filled with such conviction that you could hardly deny him. Your lips parted in surprise. Blade gave you all the time you needed to reply, watching you with a patient smile.

“Of course I’ll come!” You beamed at him.

“Can’t say no to this pretty face, huh?” He flashed his teeth at you as he grinned, holding the same ferality and mischievousness as a fox.

Your cheeks reddened, and you silenced him with a kiss. Blade was more than happy to keep quiet, letting your mouth take control of his just this once. What you hadn’t said in your response was that you would follow him to the world’s end if necessary, something which you conveyed to him as your lips danced together. As you kissed, your tongue slid over a small, cold, stud on his tongue and you recoiled, breaking the kiss.

“You never told me you got your tongue pierced,” you observed. Blade smirked at you, sticking out his tongue.

“Surprise,” he hummed, pulling you in for another quick kiss. Blade’s hand cupped your cheek, the other tugged at your hair gently, pulling you closer towards him. Your heart stirred, fluttering like a butterfly against your ribcage. He kissed you with such gentle voracity that heat pooled in your stomach, and your breaths quickened. His arms secured themselves about your torso, locking you in place; you were his best-kept secret, tucked away from the rest of the world in your own secluded corner. A paradise.

Blade’s breath caressed your lips as he pulled away. His eyes pierced your heart, just as the day you met all those years ago. The skin around his eyes creased as he smiled. It contained traces of sadness uncharacteristic to your upbeat boyfriend, who was born to radiate exuberance to all who set eyes on him. His lips dragged themselves down your temple, down the slope of your cheeks to your jaw, leaving a trail of soft kisses in their wake. Shivers raced across your skin, like the vibrations of guitar strings being plucked.

“I wish my jackass managers didn’t make me hide you, like some dirty secret,” he murmured against your cheek. His voice filled with contempt; Blade almost sounded like a scolded child, resenting the authority of their parents. You stroked his chest gently, fiddling with one of the scarcely done up buttons of his shirt.

“They’re your managers… They helped you reach this level of fame.” Blade scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“And jackasses nonetheless,” he quipped back.

“Still… I don’t think they’d appreciate being insulted for doing their jobs,” you responded, a softness blanketing your voice. He barked out a laugh.

“God, [y/n], sometimes you’re so good it astounds me. No, but I’m getting real sick of keeping you in the shadows. It’s not like I’m hiding an affair from the paparazzi or anything – I love you, and I want the world to know.” Your breath hitched at how vehemently he said this, at the glimmering defiance in his smile, his eyes. If you weren’t careful, Blade would go about performing a big gesture for you – like in a fairy tale. You had no response for this, no words that could match the magnitude of what he had just said.

Habitually, he would drum erratic rhythms against your skin. Inspiration lurked around every corner, laying dormant at every given moment, so Blade claimed. You were his muse, often attributing you as the cause for when creativity would hit hardest.

On that day he had been incessant with his tapping and humming, and it had reached its peak in that moment between the both of you. With his hands lingering on your shoulder blades, his long fingers drummed a steady rhythm against your bones, sending tremors reverberating through your body. Your eyes closed, being lulled into a state of peace from the soft baritone of his humming, erratic in melody yet utterly harmonious.

Suddenly, Blade’s body tensed beneath you. He kissed your head.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart… I have to get up for a moment,” Blade mumbled apologetically. You did not open your eyes; you trusted he would return, so you simply nodded, rolling off his chest and allowing him to spring up. There was a renewed vigour to his step as he strode out of the living room.

Now, you knew that the muse had ensnared him in her strings, dragging him to his studio to compose this: the song that declared his love for you to the world. It was a big ‘fuck you’ to his management. A loud resistance against the rules imposed on him – it was a promise that he would in fact bite the hand that fed him should he dislike what was given to him.

Blade would surely face the consequences following the concert, but by the elated glow on his face onstage, he hardly seemed to care. He was more of an ‘act now, deal with the repercussions later’ type of person, living permanently in the moment. A stark contrast to yourself, but that was why you two got along so well – it was like he was your other half. Completing you.

You would never tire of seeing Blade onstage. Like a siren’s song, you were completely rapt by his voice, his entire presence. His fingers deftly danced with the guitar strings, moving at a dangerously fast pace as he soloed. Somewhere beneath your VIP box, you noticed a commotion at the very edges of your vision. A smile toyed at your lips: somebody had fainted, a truly common occurrence at Blade’s concerts.

Events like these only reminded you that the man they fainted over, pined over hopelessly was yours. You couldn’t help but feel smugness oozing throughout you; Blade was yours in heart and soul, with a tattoo to prove it.

It had caught you by surprise when Blade came home saying he had something to show you. With that spark in his eyes, you knew that only the tattoo parlour could have ignited such a pleased look about him; that, or a long night with you. And since it was only mid-afternoon, it was most certainly the former.

Blade sauntered towards you. He leaned over you, snatching the book from your hands to give you a heart-fluttering kiss. Just as you pressed for more, reaching your arms out to snake him into an embrace, Blade pulled away. He gave you a wicked grin, leaning forward so that your noses almost touched. You huffed and folded your arms.

“What is it, Bladie?” you finally asked, indulging him. His face lit up like that of a child on Christmas day.

“I’m so glad you asked, sweetheart.” Without any trouble at all, he slipped off his shirt – the act was second nature at this point, what with the number of times he did so at home and concerts alike.

He threw his shirt aside, beholding you to his majesty. You knew Blade was well aware of the effect his body had on people, which only fuelled his physical confidence. This could not be faulted, though – despite what the haters said. If you looked anywhere near as good as him, which would be hard since he was practically a Greek god, your confidence would sprout wings and soar.

Your gaze travelled up his impressive physique, from his rippling abdominal muscles, to his bulging biceps. Heat rushed to your cheeks, and you found yourself falling for him all over again, and again – it was a cycle that occurred every time you saw him shirtless, one that you doubted would cease anytime soon.

Littered across his body were numerous tattoos, ranging from those impulsively done while drunk (many of which he attributed to Kafka), to some so profoundly meaningful that your heart melted at Blade’s emotional capability. During the darkest hours of the night, when only illuminated by the light on your night-stand, you would trail your fingers over each tattoo, lulled to sleep with the tales that accompanied them.

Between his defined musculature, to the numerous tattoos he had garnered throughout his adult years, he was a work of art. You could stare at him for hours and never tire. No, hours wouldn’t even be enough to appreciate every curve of his body. You would need an eternity.

Finally, your eyes honed in on the latest addition to the gallery on his skin. A spiderlily, right at the centre of his chest above his heart. The skin around it was still quite red, though it paled in comparison to the scarlet petals of the flower. Your breath hitched.

“Eyes up here, beautiful,” Blade teased. His face grew sincere, “Don’t make me go getting this ink, yeah? You do like it – right? I got it for you.” Summoned by his words, you looked at him, smiling.

“I-I love it,” you breathed, “It’s beautiful. What does it mean?” Blade took a seat beside you, scooping you over to him and sitting you on his thigh. As he spoke, he ran his hands through your hair, twirling around his ringed fingers.

“Let’s just say… I was dead before I met you. Because of you, I now have new life: one with you in it.”

Those words remained ingrained in you, carved into your mind like the tattoos on Blade’s body. They came to mind as you watched him perform the final notes of the song. The lights danced frantically, almost drunkenly as the final crescendo was reached. It was almost like a dream, vivid yet so surreal. Your senses were completely enveloped by the lights, the music, but most importantly: Blade.

He whooped as he struck his guitar one final time, letting it reverberate through the roaring stadium as the lights flickered, then began to fade. His shoulders slumped, tank–top practically see-through with the amount he was sweating. From the screens displaying him in the stadium, you saw the faint outlines of his nipple piercings, alongside the winking of his tattoos, through the thin material. As he spoke into the mic for the last time, Blade’s voice was heavy.

“Thank you, thank you. Have a good night everybody.” With that, the stadium was blanketed by darkness.

The ritual had to proceed, so as usual you were ushered backstage by several members of the staff. It was a privilege few were privy to, being allowed past the door barring Blade from the rest of the world. Since you two were an item, he had stopped the backstage pass privilege for fans, dedicating all his time before and after concerts for you only.

You opened the door a crack, witnessing Blade jogging off stage. His chest heaved as if he had run a marathon, and he gratefully took the towel and water a member of staff handed to him. He took a huge swig from the bottle, so much so that water spilled down the front of his body. Blade cast no mind to that, as he promptly patted himself dry with the towel. You saw the way his legs shook with every step, at the slump of his shoulders.

Your heart ached, and you yearned to be beside him. The doorknob twisted as you pushed open the door. The fatigue swept itself off his face as soon as you stepped into the room. Just like the other times, you ignored what you had previously seen and you ran towards Blade, throwing yourself into his arms. He laughed hoarsely, picking you up and spinning you around for a few moments before pulling you close to him, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. Though in rare cases like these, it was Blade who had to pull away for oxygen first.

The smile you gave him would have made the sun jealous of its radiance.

“This was your best show yet!” you exclaimed, blushing with excitement. Blade chuckled and ruffled your hair, his heartbreaking cocky grin plastered over his lips.

“Only because you were there, sweetheart,” he replied, voice slightly hoarse from singing for so long.

“But I’m at every one of your shows!” You pouted.

“Yeah, and honestly it’s distracting as hell having an angel like you in the crowd.” Blade’s grin widened when you playfully hit his shoulder. He exhaled, the final threads holding him up snapping as he deflated against you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I hope you didn’t overdo it, again.” Blade’s lips curved into a smile against your neck, where he gave you a small kiss.

“How could I not, with you there watching me?” He pulled back, looking down at you with tired eyes. “Besides, with the knowledge I’d have you all weekend… To recuperate, of course… Only spurred me on, sweetheart,” Blade purred in response. You regarded him in every way possible, eyes filled with love. Behind his confident facade lay a man who was in dire need of sleep.

“Come on, Bladie… Let’s get home,” you murmured. He nodded in response, relinquishing you from his arms, yet still maintaining contact by grasping your hand.

Blade was a rockstar, a celebrity-crush, a musician, a man – your lover. Only you got to see him at his highest, and lowest behind these closed doors. You were his secret, now declared to the world. The door had been opened a fraction, and the two of you would step out of it together hand in hand.

taglist: @c0metes , @catzpawn , @elf-osamu

art credit: @/t000riy0 on twitter

#I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING ISTG #you make the blade kissers feel very appreciated #i love blade content #especially yours #THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT HIM IS JUST *CHEF'S KISS*#blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr blade x reader #honkai star rail #hsr blade #blade

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elf-osamu · 7 months

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*tumbles in* you definitely give me pink vibes! but also yellow like let me explain *pulls up a powerpoint* I SWEAR YOU HAVE LIKE… the wisest words to say that are always very impactful ⁉️

*internally cries/pos* THANK YOU CARLYLE <33 i'm genuinely so so happy about it 😭🫶🏻🫶🏻

#az.replies #☆ | moots #♧ | carlyle

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elf-osamu · 7 months

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bestie you're clearly a combination of pink and green! you're so friendly and a pleasure to talk to, but also at any given moment i could simply see you running off into the forest and not coming out again /pos

AAAA THANK YOU ELIANA I'M GLAD <33 and yes i would run off into a forest if i could I WOULD FEEL SO AT PEACE THERE I SWEAR

#az.replies #☆ | moots #◇ | [ eliana ]

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elf-osamu · 7 months

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assign your mutuals a vibe

#I LOVE THIS SM #anyone can assign me these vibes #even non-mutuals <3

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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Reblog if you’ve made amazing friends online and are grateful for their existence

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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WORLDS WORST BABY GIRL i have drawn him Twice now! flats + quote below cut

#HE LOOKS SO SILLY I LOVE HIM #i wanna give osamu a hug <33 #dazai fanart #dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs fanart #bsd fanart

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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okay now i'm scared THEY STILL HAVEN'T SENT OUR CLASSES FOR THIS WEEK

tomorrow i'm going back to school and i'm so not ready for it I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZED IT UNTIL, LIKE, YESTERDAY 💔

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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tomorrow i'm going back to school and i'm so not ready for it I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZED IT UNTIL, LIKE, YESTERDAY 💔

#i hope it's going to be okay 😭#az.talks #school <<#like i love learning but school is just not it

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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The Sedative

✧ notes: i have a serious dan heng fic in the works too i promise, in the meantime, take this light-hearted crack fic

✧ summary: after you got hurt in the battle on the xianzhou, the doctors need to do an endoscopy on you. still under the influence of the sedative when you wake up, you think it's a wonderful idea to call dan heng and make your feelings clear to him.

✧ now playing: accidentally in love — counting crows

✧ warnings: reader is high on meds, talk of medical procedures, we're a little cringefail

Dan Heng had dedicated his afternoon to reading his newest book when the call came. Perhaps it was to distract himself from worrying about your health despite the fact that the doctor had said during the preliminary examination that you were most likely fine and that this was just a safety check-up to make sure that your organs were okay after you got wounded in your most recent fight. He knew that you had been worried about both the procedure as well as the results and he, as well as the rest of your friends from the Astral Express, had made sure to calm you down and reassure you that this was a routine examination and something that the doctors had done hundreds of times. Still, Dan Heng could only truly rest once he knew that you were awake and well.

Himeko and March had taken you to the doctor's office today for the endoscopy and he hadn't heard from them yet. He knew a little about how these procedures went; after all, he had read about them in the archives so he could rationalize any fears you might have and support you. He knew that you were likely going to suffer from short-time memory loss right after waking up as well as being a little bit out of it. So when his phone rang, he expected it to be March and Himeko; as they had promised to keep him updated on your condition and he didn't expect you to have your phone with you in the recovery room.

He picked up without looking at the screen, surprised to hear your voice instead. "Dan Heng?", you asked in a tired voice, making sure that you hadn't called the wrong number. "Yes, it's me", he confirmed in a soft tone, glad to hear from you, "how did the procedure go? Are you discharged from the hospital yet?" His heart sank because of worry when he heard your response to the question. "I need you to come here", you made it sound urgent, "I need to tell you something."

"Are you okay?", Dan Heng asked, his heart beating faster. "Can you be here soon?", you asked, "I'll explain everything then, I promise." Dan Heng asked if you were still under the influence of the sedative. You said no. You felt fine. A bit of Midazolam had nothing on you! Your thoughts were clear as day and they were telling you that it was wonderful that you were alive and well and you should appreciate every moment; especially those spent with Dan Heng! Life was too short to not confess your love to him right here and now! But that was a conversation to best be had in person.

"I'll be there in a bit", Dan Heng confirmed and rushed over to the hospital as fast as he could, calling Himeko and March on the way. They didn't pick up. When he arrived, he asked for you at the front desk. The nurse looked up to him. "Are you Dan Heng?", she asked with a sigh. "Yes?", Dan Heng responded in confusion, his voice still laced with uncertainty and worry. "They've been asking about you for the past 10 minutes", the nurse seemed so done with you but that didn't deter Dan Heng, "here I'll show you where the recovery room is; maybe you can get them to stay on the bed because they've repeatedly tried walking out of here when they're supposed to rest for at least 30 minutes after the procedure."

Dan Heng looked at the nurse in surprise. "They said they're fully awake and no longer affected by the sedative", he explained. "Oh I'm sure they think that", the nurse chuckled, opening the door to the recovery room, "sorry if they made you worry. The procedure went well, nothing to worry about." Dan Heng let out a sigh of relief and the nurse left him alone with you.

As soon as you saw him, he swore he could see your eyes light up like you had just seen fireworks explode across the night sky on your birthday. "Dan Heng!", you called out excitedly and tried to get up from the bed on your unsteady legs. Dan Heng hurried over to you. "No, no, you need to sit down and rest here for a bit", he reasoned and gently sat you back down on the bed. "What are you doing here?", you asked with so much wonder in your voice, "it's such a nice surprise to see you!" Dan Heng couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at seeing you in this state. "You called me, don't you remember?", he chuckled and sat down at your bedside. You looked surprised. "I did?", you asked and pulled out your phone, checking your call history, "wow, you're right! I don't remember that!" "I can see that", Dan Heng mumbled, shaking his head. He noticed that your voice still sounded a little slurred.

"Where are Himeko and March?", Dan Heng asked. "Went to get food for later", you yawned, "they told me to call them when I'm done!" "Well did you call them?" "I forgot", you giggled. "That's okay, I'll just send them a text...", Dan Heng sighed, wondering what he had gotten himself into, "how are you feeling?"

"Better, now that you're here", you smiled at him like a lovesick puppy, "but 'm a little cold." Dan Heng took off his coat and draped it over your shoulders. "Better?", he asked. The response was you wrapping your arms around him and slouching against his body, closing your eyes with a tired yawn. Dan Heng froze. The only other time you had been this close to him was a group hug March had pulled all of you into. Still, you weren't in your right mind and Dan Heng didn't have the heart to just push you away. After all, he didn't even mind the affection. It just caught him off-guard. He supposed he'd just let you rest against his shoulder for a while until your head was clear again. Unfortunately for him, you were very talkative.

"You're so pretty", you cooed, nuzzling his neck, which made Dan Heng's cheeks flush. That was how it started. You were far from done. "I think your dragon form is so cute; you have little horns and everything", you giggled, "you're so beautiful, both on the outside and in your heart. Can I braid your hair?"

"B-braid my hair?!", Dan Heng stammered and had to blink a couple of times and gather himself to even process what was happening as you went on with your little rant. "Yeah. Your hair looks so soft. The Xianzhou doesn't know what they're missing", you exclaimed confidently, "you're the bravest person I know and you've come so far and I'm so proud of you!"

Your words sounded so confident and Dan Heng's heart was beating out of his chest. Was this really how you thought about him? Or were you just talking nonsense? Just when he thought that you were done, you decided to continue because you, according to your own words, had "a lot of thoughts about him".

"Your smile is so precious", you explained, scrolling through the gallery on your phone for evidence, showing him a picture that March took where he was actually smiling, "like, I mean, look. You're like the sun. You brighten up the day of anyone you smile at and you make me so happy." Dan Heng's face felt hot and he cringed at the awkwardness of the situation, despite the fact that you were very far from noticing it. You just looked at him with pure and unconditional love and Dan Heng didn't know what to do about it. It made his heart flutter and gave him hope there was truth to your words.

He eventually snapped out of it and held your shoulders, looking into your eyes. "I think you should rest a little... we can uh... talk about this later", he took your hand and squeezed it gently, "please rest. Can you do that for me?" You nodded.

"Okay. Please go out with me."

Dan Heng buried his flushed face in his hands, shaking his head at the absurdity of the situation. I should just stop questioning this kind of stuff, he reasoned with a sigh. "I will. I promise", Dan Heng said softly as he pushed you back onto the mattress carefully and rubbed your upper arm in a reassuring motion. "Can I have a forehead kiss?", you asked with a quiet voice, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Did you have an ounce of an idea what you were doing to his poor heart? Probably not.

But Dan Heng couldn't deny that it was endearing to hear you speak about him so affectionately. He leaned over to press a light kiss on your forehead, closing his eyes and noticing how warm your skin felt under his lips. "There. Happy?", he chuckled, still holding your hand in his. You gave him a tired nod, drifting off into a short nap not soon after.

"Dan Heng?!", he heard March's surprised voice behind him not soon after. He turned around to gesture to keep her voice down. "What are you doing here?", she asked with a confused expression, looking at his flustered face, "your face looks weird." "Thanks, March", Dan Heng replied dryly.

He decided to stay by your side for a little longer and accompany you and the others to grab lunch. After all, he probably should be there to reassure you when you inevitably realized what you had said to him. Dan Heng smiled at how peaceful you looked, knowing he was close by to take care of you. There really was nothing for you to worry about. He was looking forward to your date as much as you were.

#PLS THIS WAS SO CUTE #az.recommends #honkai star rail #dan heng x reader #dan heng #dan heng x you #dan heng x y/n #dan heng fluff #imbibitor lunae #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr fluff #hsr #honkai star rail dan heng #honkai star rail fluff

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elf-osamu · 8 months

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“YOUR LAST MEMORY OF ME”

[ masterlist ] [ reblogs are very appreciated ]

angst, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, romantic relationship, jing yuan x gn!reader

warning(s) : major character death, the concept of death is discussed, implied reference for the high cloud quintet lore !!!!, blood, injuries, depictions of violence !!!!

word count : 2516 words

“i think i got too many memories getting in the way of me; you only get what you grieve; the only thing that’s ever stopping me is me; i testify if i die in my sleep, then know that my life was a killer dream; and all my childhood heroes have fallen off or died” — song: stay frosty royal milk tea by fall out boy

a/n: i’ve almost cried while writing this. as a jing yuan lover, i’m terribly sorry (it will happen again).

to be part of a long life species isn’t as easy as mortals make it to be. since their lives are nothing but a fleeting moment which will be soon forgotten, they tend to hope for a longer time to accomplish their goals, rushing every task to meet the temporary relief that it brings — a sweet feeling which one could indulge themself in, but only for a brief moment. as a consequence of this, they’re quite envious of those who don’t have to worry about such matters: those people can enjoy life to the fullest and simultaneously take things at a slow pace, savoring each second of their existence without being overwhelmed by their imminent end; new experiences are always near the corner of their days, quietly waiting for the perfect time to appear and give opportunities of every kind; the weight of death isn’t a matter to reflect upon, since it’s something far too distant to be frightened by it.

a smile was something that jing yuan hardly got to see on that face he had profoundly grown fond of — yours. one could have define it as an almost imperceptible change, but the way your lips slightly curved in response of his affirmations hadn’t ever escaped his attentive eyes. his life had been consistent for many years, still as a lake in a flawlessly sunny day, with his usual duties and habits which never seemed to change despite the passage of time. however now he had gotten used to your presence and he could have never substituted it. those lips he loved to touch with his, those hands he relished with his when he was looking for reassurance, those eyes he would have treasured with his life if they had been gems — you. jing yuan would have never gotten tired of you.

this is what short life species harshly tell themselves and others — they can’t but concentrate on what they don’t possess, on what their hands will never reach, on what they will never be able to accomplish. nevertheless, said behavior is rather commonly found in the majority of human beings with no distinctions made; envy is a comprehensibile emotion, but when used inappropriately it can develop in resentment. the inherent desire of attaining what we’ve wished for isn’t possible at all times — but we continue on our path forward, often stumbling along the way when it gets too difficult to move on.

the general’s soul wasn’t unblemished as many thought: you had gotten the chance to meet that part of him he tried to hide under a seemingly exemplery mask of polite yet playful remarks. you had tended to his injuries, taking care of his body while he narrated the story of some of his scars; you had listened to his usually unspoken worries, when the role he had to play for the majority of his life momentarily ended and he finally showed you that he was just a human being like any other — someone who had done both outstanding and terrible things. “i… i apologize for not being the hero you’ve heard of”, he had muttered the rare times he had allowed himself to cry; it had been too long ago since the last time he had opened up to someone in such a vulnerable way.

long life species know this too well: between the scars of their past and the hopes for their future, it isn’t rare to find people who are lost in their journey, surrounded by painful memories and feelings of desperation. to forget what one’s forced to remember can make themself cling to the old days and refuse to give a glance to the other side.

you were aware of jing yuan’s foibles and past mistakes — how could you have not? — but those things had never stopped you from loving him. as you were there to accept him for who he was, you could proudly say he did the same for you; patience and consideration were only a few of his characteristics, but they were greatly helpful when you were going through difficult times. jing yuan wouldn’t have ever judged your fears and thoughts: he would have sat next you, grounding your mind from the stress that life could give you, and reminded you of his unfeigned adoration towards your being. you both had found comfort and solace with each other.

the general of the cloud knights of the xianzhou luofu, jing yuan, had lived for too many centuries to be truly able to count them. he was acclaimed by many people and frowned upon by others — but nobody could have never doubt his dexterity and strength when it came to swordsmanship: his exceptional abilities had been of considerable effectiveness in battles and, simultaneously, his carefulness and diplomacy couldn’t be disregarded in the slightest, since they kept the law and order in his nation.

death passively follows its natural course when the right time is known — it’s a neutral state which can’t be converted by the human mind, something… irreversible; many have tried to change this fact and many have failed. each stage of life is meaningful, thus to accept what’s going to happen someday is the wisest and least painful choice, though it has to be recognized how it can still be a tough journey. his loved companions, his long-lasting enemies, everybody he knew… he had lost them, either because of demise or a change of paths.

during his life, jing yuan had collided with friends, foes and even with himself — bonds were broken, rancour was deepened, distress was reinforced: all the experiences and emotions he had been carrying in his heart for centuries seemed to be never-ending. he did his best to hide his damaged self through loads of work and too many hours of sleep; after all he was one of the arbiter-generals — if he couldn’t do his job, who could have?

he was a symbol of hope: he was someone to use as a role model and as a pillar for anyone who was in need of support and protection — failure had never been an option for those of such great importance.

he just had to resist a little longer… then everything else would have ended and peace would have prospered, as it always did.

clashes of swords and polearms reverberated through the battlefield, they were the only sounds which could be heard alongside the warriors’ screams. destruction and ruination harshly painted the surroundings, scarring the ground where nature once flourished, while combatants fell and took their last breath.

an invasion of that magnitude hadn’t been on the xianzhou luofu for quite some time and nobody had been prepared for it; unexpected encounters were the most dangerous and tiring ones.

you were a brave and capable soldier — your technique wasn’t flawless, but your determination made up for the few careless mistakes you committed while fighting; jing yuan was aware of that, but his chest still hurt whenever he knew you were battling against his enemies. as much as he believed you could successfully take care of your well-being in dire situations, he had to fight the urge to be near you when you risked your life; said feeling was reciprocated though, since the general had caught a glimpse of your figure finishing off an enemy who had tried to attack him behind his back while he was busy with three other opponents. you had flashed a smile at your lover before going into battle again.

it was a tough confront between distinct factions, but hope had come to the surface again once you had taken a glance at how many enemies were still standing: only a few were alive and their counterattacks were growing more haphazard by the second — they hadn’t expected to fall behind in battle. the rush of adrenaline you felt before accompanied your weapon through taking the life of your opponents without backing away.

jing yuan had just fought against a few people when he saw a group of his opposite faction go near you; they were too many to be dealt at the same time, too many even for someone as experienced as him — so he couldn’t let them lift a finger on your body, it was a risk too huge to be taken so carelessly.

he rapidly moved to get to your side — you were rather distant from him but, if he had screamed, you would have been distracted and you would have gotten severe injuries… or even worse. his mind was spiralling while the general was trying to calm himself down and choose the best option available to keep yourself safe but, when he saw a spear coming too near your figure, his body moved on its own: he rushed towards you and, without giving you the time to react, he took what once was your place.

time seemed to stop for a moment as he tasted the flavour of pain that came from the deep skin tear on his chest: gushes of blood brutally tinted his armor and all of a sudden his face lost the color it had just a moment before.

you couldn’t feel anything at first, your brain had registered only a part of what had occurred. then, however, you realized what you had witnessed when you watched jing yuan’s body fall on the ground.

everything had happened in a few seconds, but it felt like an unceasing event: something atrocious was taking place, something you just wished to ignore nd forget… but you couldn’t allow yourself to do that.

therefore, a wave of rage hit you: you didn’t waste time to slaughter the ones who attacked the man you loved; when anyone tried to come near you, your blade was swift enough to promptly eliminate them and destroy anything that crossed its path, wounding whoever couldn’t understand the weight of the situation. it had been a while since you felt an emotion in such an intense and uncontrolled way, you looked feverish from how much strength you were using.

anger’s origin was different for everyone — yours was because of despondency.

you were moving too fast to process what was happening: the only clear thing your blurry vision could notice was the carmine blood that colored the soil and people’s armors, especially your own. you couldn’t feel the pain derived from your injuries, your clouded mind wasn’t able to process your physical state.

wrath was embracing you in its strong grip, the one thing that heartened you when you would have preferred to hide away in your own solitude.

as the only opponents left decided to retreat from the battle, you tossed your weapon to the side and fell on your knees; you were exhausted from your sudden outburst, your limbs were becoming numb and your head was spinning.

the familiar sound of your name, however, kept you grounded, making you look at the white-haired man who was laying down on the turf.

sweat and blood littered his scarred skin, a look you had gotten to know through the years you had spent with him. but this time was like no other.

you immediately sat by his side and forced yourself to act like you had everything under control, while trying to disregard the spear that had pierced his body: your hands slightly pressed near the major wound on his chest, clinging to the last hope of keeping more blood from coming out.

“my time… has come, then?” he murmured, his lips were moving slowly, too slowly, though his voice was calm as the usual; you would have said he wasn’t feeling much pain, if you didn’t know him that well.

a grin was plastered on his face and it only made you sadder to see him keep his mask even on that unpleasant occasion.

“don’t you dare say that, jing yuan. there’s still time, we can make someone look for a doctor, we… you can resist for a few minutes until then!”, you sounded — you were — desperate. “everything is going to work out in the end, isn’t it?”.

you were trying your best to pay no attention to your thoughts: there was no doubt that his injury was fatal, he already had lost too much blood to return back to his usual life and be saved. you would have switched places in a heartbeat if you were given the opportunity to do so, you would have given anything to keep him alive; jing yuan had understood it since the first day your love for him had been known.

his eyes were fixated on your face, as if they were trying to soothe your distressed mind. with the last remaining ounce of strength, he rested one of his hands on yours and deepened his smile.

he called out your name again. “do you know how much i care about you?”.

if the situation were different, you would have punched him; tears began to fall down on your cheeks; you would have liked to scream and say he wouldn’t have died in that way, but you managed to make your lips curve into a faux grin; if you had to smile, you would have done it for him.

“yes, love. i do know it all too well”, you whispered, your gaze was focused only on his face and the flutter of his eyelashes.

jing yuan slowly nodded and mumbled “good”: his heart could have ultimately rested now that he had your confirmation.

he looked at the gray sky, silently saying his goodbyes to the world around him. “if there’s anything beyond this life… i hope i’ll get the chance to… to meet my friends… and lost companions there…”. you felt his fingers caress yours in a reassuring manner, a habit of his the general of the luofu couldn’t abandon even in death. “perhaps we are going… to talk again”.

you inclined your head, there was nothing else you could do.

his deep voice, the white cascade of his long hair, those golden eyes that held many memories, the strategies he followed while playing chess, his comforting laugh, every characteristic of his — you would have never forgotten any of them.

“i feel… so light…” he muttered as he closed his eyes, inhaling air for the last time.

an uncontrollable sob broke out from your throat as you bended over and hugged his cold body close to your chest, your forehead was against his.

pain had been a part of jing yuan’s life since he was a child and it ushered him also to his demise, as a loyal intimate who had never left his side.

you held back your tears when a question made its way into your head: would he have found solace now that everything was over? you shivered and hoped he could finally rest, but your heart wouldn’t have been the same ever again.

the peace you had found within his presence had mercilessly been broken and nothing could have ever repaired it.

[ do not copy, translate, repost, etc. | by @ elf-osamu ]

[ tag list — @bladesmuse ]

#hsr jing yuan #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan x gn reader #jing yuan x gn!reader #jing yuan x y/n #hsr jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail jing yuan #hsr fic #hsr x reader #hsr #x gn reader #x gn!reader #gn!reader #gn reader #hsr angst

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elf-osamu · 8 months

Text

“YOUR LAST MEMORY OF ME”

[ masterlist ] [ reblogs are very appreciated ]

angst, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, romantic relationship, jing yuan x gn!reader

warning(s) : major character death, the concept of death is discussed, implied reference for the high cloud quintet lore !!!!, blood, injuries, depictions of violence !!!!

word count : 2517 words

a/n: i’ve almost cried while writing this. as a jing yuan lover, i’m terribly sorry (it will happen again).

a smile was something that jing yuan hardly got to see on that face he had profoundly grown fond of — yours. one could have defined it as an almost imperceptible change, but the way your lips slightly curved in response of his affirmations hadn’t ever escaped his attentive eyes. his life had been consistent for many years, still as a lake in a flawlessly sunny day, with his usual duties and habits which never seemed to change despite the passage of time. however now he had gotten used to your presence and he could have never substituted it. those lips he loved to touch with his, those hands he relished with his when he was looking for reassurance, those eyes he would have treasured with his life if they had been gems — you. jing yuan would have never gotten tired of you.

you were aware of jing yuan’s foibles and past mistakes — how could you have not? — but those things had never stopped you from loving him. as you were there to accept him for who he was, you could proudly say he did the same for you; patience and consideration were only a few of his characteristics, but they were greatly helpful when you were going through difficult times. jing yuan wouldn’t have ever judged your fears and thoughts: he would have sat next to you, grounding your mind from the stress that life could give you, and reminded you of his unfeigned adoration towards your being. you both had found comfort and solace with each other.

he just had to resist a little longer… then everything else would have ended and peace would have prospered, as it always did.

an invasion of that magnitude hadn’t been on the xianzhou luofu for quite some time and nobody had been prepared for it; unexpected encounters were the most dangerous and tiring ones.

everything had happened in a few seconds, but it felt like an unceasing event: something atrocious was taking place, something you just wished to ignore and forget… but you couldn’t allow yourself to do that.