enbyzutara - Tumblr blog

enbyzutara · 6 days

Text

I was asked to write a response to this post, and as always I ask that you please don’t dogpile on the OP, I was merely asked for my opinion. This also isn’t an invitation to hate on anyone’s ships, but it kind of baffles me that in the face of any criticism, people who ship Mai and Zuko will outright deny the characters’ respective arcs in order to make it work, despite their ship being canon.

First the OP claims that Zuko shown taking some enjoyment from living like royalty “debunks” what the episode is telling us, that Zuko is experiencing turmoil over his place back home, especially after experiencing life among the people of the Earth Kingdom and witnessing how other people have less, and how the world has suffered as a result of the Fire Nation’s greed. Except that OP’s example is a screenshot of Zuko looking uncomfortable as he takes a hot towel, after initially hesitating, which also happens after he refuses the other comforts he is offered.

The hot towel is actually an oshibori, a Japanese symbol of hospitality that in America, is often associated with high class, as it is often offered on first class flights and luxury hotels and restaurants. The context here is clearly meant to show the Fire Nation excess, and that Zuko is unsure after being away for so long, and uncomfortable with being pampered especially after witnessing the horror the Fire Nation has caused in the rest of the world, leading up to his growing realization that he doesn’t want to be a part of it anymore.

Then we have the scene where he initially refuses the palanquin ride, and finally accepts, both because it would be awkward for him to protest too much, especially if he wants to fit in as prince, and also because yes, like any normal person, he does enjoy having people do things for him. Hence the little smile, the reassurance that it’s okay for him to be pampered, which assuages some of the guilt he’s been feeling since Ba Sing Se. He’s the prince, he can tell himself, he deserves it. That’s also why he takes the time to show off to his girlfriend a little a scene later by offering her anything she wants.

However, the message we are supposed to understand is still the same. Zuko is trying to convince himself that he should just accept being back as prince, but we know, and he knows, in his heart, that he should be listening to his guilty conscious.

I also find it baffling that OP says that this isn’t meant to show how Zuko has changed, but then also argues that Mai doesn’t know the extent of Zuko’s emotional turmoil. Which is true, but like, that’s the point OP seems to be missing, and the reason why people use this scene to point to the fact that Mai and Zuko fundamentally don’t understand each other.

She is not an Iroh - who can say exactly what he needs to hear or guide him on the right path. She is a teenage girl from another broken home who was never taught what love truly means. She was taught to restrain herself and her emotions. But when Zuko needs comfort the most - she provides it for him by attesting that despite all the things she doesn’t care for - she cares for him. She becomes emotionally vulnerable in front of Azula to comfort Zuko amidst his difficult times. And yes, In this example on The Beach - Zuko is shown to be comforted and cared for her by her words.

Like, of course she’s not Iroh. That’s the point. She’s not supposed to be. I’ve argued before that Mai’s narrative function is to be something of an anti-Iroh, because like Iroh, part of her narrative function is to give Zuko someone to bounce off of, so that he can voice what he’s thinking, to help the audience understand Zuko’s motivations. However, unlike Iroh, Mai’s main purpose is to keep Zuko tied to the Fire Nation, whereas Iroh encouraged him to seek redemption by looking elsewhere. She’s not supposed to guide Zuko down the right path, but serves rather as an obstacle he has to overcome in order to get back on it. That doesn’t exactly make for a healthy or lasting relationship.

The idea that Mai and Zuko’s relationship is good because Mai shows Zuko support by saying that she cares about him after he blames himself for his feelings in “The Beach” - including his earlier anger at her for being constantly apathetic while he’s hurting - doesn’t exactly scream healthy relationship or support, either. Rather than showing emotional support, she’s very deliberately choosing to support Zuko only when she doesn’t have to support him emotionally, when he internalizes his emotions instead of externalizing them.

Neither does, “I don’t care about anything but at least I care about you.” Like, that bar is so low it’s on the ground. Especially since everyone else around Zuko currently outright hates him.

Look at what Azula says right before. Mai knows that Zuko suffered constant and endless harassment and abuse from his sister and father. From the creators themselves:

“She’s known Zuko her whole life. She knows his life has been intense” - Bryan and Mike, The Beach Commentary

Funny how the creators have to word of god things because what they wrote doesn’t actually show what they wanted it to show. In actual canon, we have Mai telling Zuko that she “didn’t ask for his whole life story,” during their first scene as a couple after she hasn’t seen him for three years.

She’s known him his whole life…except for those three years between thirteen and sixteen, in which time he has grown from a child to a young adult and experienced drastic life changes. Changes which she said she didn’t want to hear about.

And, I mean, whatever, I try not the think the worst of things because people can ship what they want, and most of the problems with Mai and Zuko’s relationship happen because of poor writing choices, not outright abuse apologism, but I agree, let’s look at what Azula says. Let’s actually consider the ramifications of Mai, who had just broken up with Zuko, deciding that she cares about him and they’re back together now after Azula calls him pathetic. Once again Mai decides that she cares about Zuko and wants him back when he’s at a low point. At no point did she offer him emotional support when he was in turmoil. At no point does she dig into the root of why he is angry. Why would she? That would mean examining her own lifestyle and how it profits on the back of imperialism. But if Zuko is blaming himself for his anger - anger which really stems from the realization of how empty life in the Fire Nation really is, and his own guilt at being a part of it - then he’s not questioning any of that, and Azula has ended the argument by announcing that Zuko’s anger is pathetic and not worth examining. That also means Mai can get Zuko back without having to do any of the hard emotional or ethical work herself.

Yet shes the only one from his old life, other than Iroh, that shows unwavering and unconditional support to him. Like @thethiefandtheairbender said, “Mai gives Zuko a reason to love the home that spurned him.”

Actual photo of Iroh watching Mai and Zuko interact from his prison cell:

She’s the only one other than Iroh because she helped put Iroh in prison. You can argue about how loyal she is to Azula and whether she had a choice, but the fact of the matter is that the reason Iroh ain’t around, and Mai is the only one Zuko has to rely on, is because Iroh is in prison and Mai and Zuko would not have a relationship otherwise. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Zuko hadn’t chosen to side with Azula in Ba Sing Se. I can’t help but wonder if it’s ever crossed Zuko’s mind, as well, that if things had gone differently, he would have been in prison alongside Iroh instead of smooching Mai, and she would have helped to put him there. That’s like, so very much the opposite of unconditional support. It means that their relationship is conditional by necessity, by virtue of how it came about. All relationships are conditional anyway, which I will get to later, but THIS is very much not the type of condition that breeds a healthy relationship. What this is is actually the breeding ground for abuse and toxicity, but again, I’m going to assume the writers weren’t actually paying attention to any of that and didn’t intentionally write this relationship as the shit show that it is.

Also, on “Mai gives Zuko a reason to love the home that spurned him.” YES. That’s the PROBLEM. Mai’s function in the narrative is to keep Zuko in the Fire Nation long enough for him to get everything he ever wanted and then realize that this isn’t what he needs at all. That’s why, when he makes this realization, he also leaves Mai behind as well.

Yes, Zuko loves the Fire Nation, and a big part of his narrative is also becoming Fire Lord and redeeming his nation and reclaiming his homeland, but Mai explicitly in canon does not understand this part of Zuko, and refused to listen when he tries to explain it to her.

So back to the Nightmares and Daydreams episode. Mai’s immediate thought is to cheer Zuko up with something that gave him comfort five minutes before.

When that doesn’t work, we see Mai’s unemotional facade break down. She knows that this is something he has to figure out on his own. Her face shows pure empathy, that he must be going through something very troubling. But she doesn’t force him to stay with her. She gives him space to come to terms with his own emotions. She doesn’t stick by him or force him to cheer up after she sees her methods DIDNT work. She doesn’t get frustrated. She feels empathy for him.

And then antis claim that Mai bringing up the whole war meeting was a way to make light of Zuko’s trauma or that she didn’t want him to ruin their happy mood. Yet they conveniently forget that Mai waited outside for the entire duration of the war meeting for Zuko - and immediately asks him how it went - ensuring that things didn’t transpire the way it did at the last war meeting. For them, it’s impossible to see that what Mai said was a matter of true concern for Zuko’s safety. But her actions prove otherwise.

I actually have said that I thought Mai was concerned for Zuko’s safety, but that isn’t enough for me to consider that it’s a good relationship, because like, that’s the very least Mai can be. I do think that their conversation fundamentally shows that she doesn’t understand him, though. Nor do I think she really understands the very real danger he is in, otherwise she wouldn’t be happy when Zuko does go to the meeting, knowing what happened to him the last time he attended one. Because Zuko is not safe any time Ozai has access to him.

But going back to Mai bringing back up the idea of ordering servants around to cheer him up, let’s look at the transcript:

Mai: You know what will make you feel better? [Zuko turns his head slightly.] Ordering some servants around. I might be hungry for a whole tray of fruit tarts. And maybe a little palanquin ride around town. Double time.

She turns Zuko’s face to look at her, but he quickly looks away, making Mai let go of him.

Rather than being cheered up, Zuko reacts negatively to her suggestion, and the reason why lies in the previous scene where fruit tarts and palanquin rides were referenced. Because Mai didn’t see and doesn’t understand Zuko’s discomfort with those excesses. She can’t. She only sees the face Zuko puts on because he’s trying to both impress her and assuage his own guilt. That’s why her attempt to cheer him up falls flat here.

And actually, we don’t see Mai give Zuko space or comfort him or show empathy. The scene cuts off there, and the next time we see Mai and Zuko, he is being told he actually is invited to the meeting, and Mai is happy for him. Note that nothing has changed. The danger hasn’t gone away, nor Zuko’s worries. Ozai has just arbitrarily decided that Zuko is now invited to the meeting, and acts like he always was, which is really Ozai playing mind games with his son and actually shows how dangerous and manipulative Ozai is. Zuko doesn’t pick up on this because he’s desperate for his father’s approval, but he will after the meeting. Mai doesn’t pick up on it because she doesn’t really know Zuko or his inner turmoil, nor does she really understand the depth of how evil the Fire Nation really is.

Mai listens to Zuko unwaveringly while he explains how during the meeting, he was the perfect fire nation prince but he wasn’t himself. She doesn’t cut him off out of boredom. She doesn’t shut down his emotions or tells him to feel a way he shouldn’t. After the Beach episode, she learns to listen to him - proving her character development. She’s engaged, she’s listening. She is once again - supporting Zuko throughout his emotional turmoil.

Once again, this is kind of a low bar to prove Mai’s “unwavering support” because the scene cuts off right after Zuko says he wasn’t himself during the meeting. We don’t see her reaction at all. We can, however, assume that whatever it was, it was enough to convince Zuko that he couldn’t confide in her in person about his realization that he needed to leave and join the Avatar and restore honor to the Fire Nation. Her reaction to him when she confronts him about this in “The Boiling Rock” further confirms this, as she refuses to listen when he tries to make her understand. So if we had been shown this conversation, I don’t think it would show Mai being supportive or understanding.

I will never understand the argument that Zuko’s relationship with Mai represents a regression because he wasn’t being himself when he was in the fire nation. Let’s get a couple of things straight. Zuko had to return to the fire nation to truly confirm for himself that he was making the right decision. But the fire nation will always be Zuko’s home. That is why he is coronated as the fire lord at the end. Throughout season 3, Mai experiences Zuko’s good, bad, and ugly. He never once put up a facade around her. She experienced everything - the emotional turmoil, the parts where he pretended to be the perfect prince, the part where he truly loved spending time with her.

Yet OP admitted earlier in the post that Mai DIDN’T know the side of Zuko that worked as a tea server in Ba Sing Se and saw firsthand the plight of the refugees. She didn’t know the part of Zuko that felt uncomfortable being waited on unnecessarily. She didn’t know the part of Zuko that sat in a war meeting and bravely defended the Earth Kingdom people because it was the right thing to do. She didn’t know because she didn’t ask for his life story. And she still doesn’t, by the end, either. She does not understand when Zuko tells her that he has to save his country. This is textually what happens in the show. There’s no argument here. It’s just wrong to say that Zuko didn’t put up a facade around Mai and that Mai always understood Zuko, because we can see that this is not what happens in the story.

the only thing she did was hold him accountable when he was acting like an ass.

How did she hold him accountable? By deciding that she cares about him after he internalizes his anger and the conversation is over? Did he apologize to her for his outburst at the party? Show that he wouldn’t do it again? Or did she just decide to get back together with him when it was convenient for her? This is not what accountability looks like.

Mai was there for Zuko when no one else from his old life was.

See what I said about Iroh doing the Ben Afleck thing from his prison cell.

And if their relationship was a regression - then why did the creators have Mai stand up against Azula and everything she knew her whole life - for Zuko and his mission? That argument would make sense if there was no episode called The Boiling Rock.

Why would Mai NEED to stand up to Azula when she was about to kill Zuko unless she had a realization that Zuko’s life and mission were more important than selfishly clinging to her relationship with him? That was the whole point of their encounters in that episode. Mai and Zuko’s relationship was SUPPOSED to be a regression, and Zuko chose to leave it behind, and that was what Mai had to realize. Further, the entire reason that Mai needed to stop Azula in the first place was because Mai put Zuko’s life in danger because she was mad that he broke up with her. The whole point was Mai redeeming herself by letting Zuko go, despite the fact that he was “the jerk who dumped [her].” It’s a pity that the writers didn’t stick to that, though, and instead had her go back to demanding that he be in a relationship with her in the end.

That Love isn’t conditional based on someone’s morality or redeemable actions.

I told you I would get back to this. It’s not even true that Mai loves Zuko unconditionally, as I said, but in any case, the concept of “unconditional love” should be thrown out when we’re talking about romantic relationships. Don’t get me wrong, the conditions under which Mai loves Zuko still aren’t healthy, but there are times when it is both healthy and necessary for love to be conditional. Morality and redeemable actions, as it happens, absolutely are two of those conditions that love depends on.

Like, what on earth even is this argument. If the person you love doesn’t have morals that align to yours and doesn’t have redeeming qualities in your eyes, then there’s nothing to base the relationship on, other than, say, a mutual hatred of the world and a vague sense that you don’t hate each other. Which does not make a healthy or lasting relationship, or even a romantic one.

#anti maiko #nightmares and daydreams

187 notes · View notes