entertwinedsewntogether - Tumblr blog

entertwinedsewntogether · 1 year

Text

i’m so depressed it’s not funny oml oml 10/10 this is so good stfu this is feeding my bad mother issues need for comfort HAHAHAJAHSWJSK

I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name

Part Seven

A/n: Might've cried a lil writing this part:/ But I hope you enjoy it all the same x

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Talks of a struggling relationship with a parent, (doesn't go into detail but alludes slightly to other things, so take that as you will), and the mention of previous deaths of relatives (again, there's not much detail)

Masterlist

“Mum?” I croaked out.

…

The woman in which had birthed me and given me my name was stood in the very same cafe, ignorant to my presence.

There was no denying it was her. Her hair was still the same shade it’d always been, only now it was cut into a sleek sort of bob that better suited her face. She was thinner now too, I supposed. Her figure only accentuated by the fitted silk shirt she had tucked into a pair of dark jeans.

I scanned over every detail she had to offer me, or rather the world, but came to an abrupt pause when I saw a sudden similarity between us. It was a simple one really, but I saw then it in the way she was laughing away heartily at whoever she was on the phone to, her smile so wide and unapologetic. It was very same smile I'd caught myself wearing in pictures with friends, or when I rewatched old videos of us at gigs.

The realisation made my stomach turn, as though everything inside of me was slowly being vacuumed up into the big black hole that had suddenly replaced it.

I was snapped back to reality rather quickly when George’s head whipped around to see what I was freaking out over. His wide eyes darting between both myself and the woman who was stood waiting in line for her order, his jaw dropped. He looked just as unsure on what to do here as I was.

Because, well, what were you supposed to do when the parent you hadn’t seen since leaving home was stood right in front of you? It was a headfuck, a complete and utter headfuck. That had me ripping at the very seams.

George must’ve seen it on my face too because he reached across the table then to take my trembling hand in his, forcing me to divert my attention. My eyes found his.

“Birdie…��

His low whisper paired with that godforsaken nickname wasn’t even enough to distract me from the way I was beginning to spiral. Suddenly, I felt so out of it. As though I was floating out of my body, or on another plane all together.

I took a deep breath then shook my head at him, hoping to somehow clear my mind.

“I know, it’s fine- I’m fine. I’m okay. Really.” But I didn’t know who I was trying to reassure here, him or me. “She just, brings something out in me. I didn’t expect to see her here is all.”

“No shit,” George mumbled distractedly with another long glance over his right shoulder. When he looked back at me, he hunched further across the table to keep his voice low. "You gonna say something?"

I blinked, but the thing that shocked me wasn't his question, it was the real anger I saw then in his eyes. It wasn’t a typical emotion for George.

“Sorry.” I apologised for the interruption, then attempted to steer us back on track. This wasn’t about her. This was me trying to fix things with George. Us trying to salvage the friendship we’d had long before we’d ever messed things up between us by getting together. “Where were we again?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. Not with me.” George interrupted, his grip on my hand tightening by a fraction. “You don’t have to pretend. I know what it was like. What you went through with her, how bad things got. I was there. You don’t have to build back up all those walls you tried so hard to knock down around me.”

I felt my eyelids fall shut when that familiar burning sensation begun to tingle the tip of my nose and started to sting just behind my eyes. My throat was slowly closing and the hairs that ran down my arms stood on end.

It was hard to hear, especially when I’d worked so hard to come to terms with the distance that our breakup had wedged between us. But ultimately, that was only because I knew he was right. He knew better than anyone what I’d gone through. Seen more than I’d care to admit I’d wanted him to.

“I just can’t do this. I-" I choked out, the tremble in my hands seemed to invade the rest of my body now. Everything appeared to be working against me.

George was still there though when I reopened my eyes, and I had a vague guess as to how red and watery they must’ve looked as I stared back at him hopelessly.

“Take a second, yeah?” He murmured to me, his thumb gently skimming over the back of the hand he still had yet to let go of.

The action seemed to soften things somehow, gave me a feeling to ground myself to. I swallowed down the tension I'd felt balling in the back of my throat, letting it sit heavily now in my chest.

I couldn’t bring myself to look back at her though, at the hazy stranger I just about recognised.

Not yet.

“When was the last time you spoke to her?” George questioned me quietly and I couldn't silence the humourless chuckle I let go of, playing with the fraying tear in the booth’s tablecloth that someone must have caught their zip on.

“Other than that birthday card? My nana’s funeral.”

George’s brow pinched further. “That was almost a year ago now though. I remember it. You two hardly said more than six words to one another.”

I shrugged, feeling small. “Well…”

With a sigh that was more of a scoff, George shook his head and worked his jaw. “Who’d you spend Christmas with then?”

I mustered up a sad smile. “Matty’s family took me in. With both my grandparents gone now, and well, us being…”

George dipped his chin curtly, eyes darting away for the briefest of seconds just as the vein in his neck ticked. I tried not to react to it.

“I didn’t have many people offering to put me up.” I told him honestly as I glanced towards the counter, shrugging a shoulder again. The rip in the tablecloth had grown now too.

“I-” George begun but faltered as he inhaled, sucking in far too sharply for it to go unnoticed. But then he shook his head as though irritated and his brown eyes found mine again shortly after. “Do you want to say something now? To her, I mean.”

I felt myself frown as I thought it over. Did I? It was a chance to face her again, to talk things over, maybe get some answers now that I was older and not so sheltered. But, then again…

My gaze flickered up to see her still stood there waiting. She was by the counter this time, leaning in and flashing a smile at the worker whilst she accepted the drink she’d ordered. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

George seemed to have followed my line of sight too and he turned back towards me a bit too quickly to get my reply. “Well? This is your last chance.”

And I watched on as she called out her hasty thanks, still prattling away on the phone whilst she started to make her leave. The only thought that crossed my mind though was whether or not it was the same number I’d tried calling her on a few weeks prior. Or in the months before that. I opened my mouth to say something, but I just couldn’t do it. Unsure if I even wanted to.

She was gone then. A whirl of hair and sweet laughter as the wind swept her back up, closing the door firmly shut behind her.

It felt like a strange metaphor for my life.

I slumped.

The cafe seemed to grow nosier after that and I wondered when everything had started to dial back for me. George was still there though, studying me closely like he always used to do. Only, it was for an entirely different reason this time around.

“Maybe it’s for the best.” He said, looking at me almost like he could sense every thought I was thinking, every feeling I felt. I dropped my eyes so that I could paste on a semi-convincing smile.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“You can let it out, you know. If you need.” George mentioned, and he chewed on the edge of his bottom lip for a blink before shrugging lightly, on anyone else the gesture might’ve appeared abashed but whilst George was many things, he was far from that. Not with me at least. “Dunno. Just used to help.”

And it had. Whenever things would happen, when a memory would resurface, or I'd just be having one of those days… I’d close up and hide away from everything. It was only whenever George prompted it out of me, or decided to my mind off of things, did I see the bigger picture again.

In the time we’d been apart, those days had grown a little more frequent. Longer too. Because I hadn’t had that around to distance me from the thoughts. There was no light to keep the shadows at bay.

“I don’t know. It’s just weird, ain’t it?” I swallowed thickly and had to force my gaze outside, focusing on all the chips in the pavement and the birds that were now scouting around the decking. “Of all the people. All the places! And when I’m here with you too, trying to muddle through all our shit. Just feels like someone’s gone a dropped a massive bomb on my life.”

I waited a while for George to say something, to maybe pull his hand away or draw me in closer. But he just gave me that moment. And I didn’t know whether to be grateful or not for it, especially when it only seemed to spur me on.

“She was supposed to be all these things. A role model. Someone I could turn to. Look up to. A person I could always count on to be on my side. But she was barely ever there. Not when it counted.”

I could feel every hurt I'd ever felt in the breath I took then.

“She was meant to protect me. Keep me safe. But after dad- she just let anyone walk in and out of our lives. She was just a doorstop to them, a warm bed, and I had to face the brunt of it all. The leers and the looks.”

I scoffed, blinking away all the emotions of that sad little girl.

“You’d have thought that after his death, she’d might've wanted to keep me close. Make sure nothing bad happened to me too. But she just shut me out. Sent me away- to my nana’s, and my aunt’s.”

My next whisper was sharp and it stung, it tainted the air around me.

“She couldn’t even bare to look at me, G.”

George was there. Sliding into the booth beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and shielded me in his side, blocking anyone else who might have looked over then from watching me fall apart. I focused on my breathing, in and out. Out then in. The fog seemed to lift slightly as I continued, and George must’ve sensed it because he let up a little.

“Sorry," I sniffed, "If I’d've known that today would end up like this I would’ve spared you the lost time.” I made a chuckling sound that was mostly belittling and rolled my eyes at myself.

“Oi, don’t say that. She’s the one who fucked up. She’s the only one who should be apologising. Alright?”

I nodded slightly, because I couldn't not, and took the tissues he handed me, ruffling them between my fingertips.

“It just hurts, I 'spose. ‘Cause somewhere deep down inside, I’ve always sort of felt like I was disposable.”

That confession felt like too much even in the moment and so I turned away from him, sniffing as I blinked back the welling tears again. Only, one slipped free, but I was quick to swipe it away, chuckling sadly at myself.

“God, bet you regret asking me out now.”

George was sure in the shake of his head. Face solemn. “Never. Just thankful to be here.”

I snorted softly in turn, not believing him for a second.

“It’s the truth.” He shrugged, gifting me one of his small lopsided smiles.

I used the tissues then to wipe at my nose and caught him staring as I did. I tried to smile back. “Alright if I go clean myself up? Feel like I’ve been hit by a lorry or summat.”

George and I shared a small chuckle between us and he nodded as he stood from his seat, allowing me to slide past.

“I’ll just be a minute.” I assured him, but it was useless as he only rolled his eyes at me. Waving me off.

—

By the time I’d sorted myself out and fixed my makeup as best as I could, George was nowhere to be found.

My heart lurched as I walked back over to where we'd just been seated, eyes scanning the length of the shop whilst a million stupid thoughts ran through my head at a million miles an hour, only to be silenced by the very sight of him waiting outside for me by the curb. Obviously having gone out for a cigarette whilst he waited.

I calmed my racing heart. He hadn’t just upped and left.

As I made my exit and thanked the gent who held the door open for me, its bell jingled, grabbing George’s attention from where he’d been toeing the outline of a drain. His lips curved up into a smile as I made my way over.

“Alright?” He nodded and I copied the action, releasing some of that remaining tension I’d just been working on shredding off in the girls loo’s.

“Can I?” I requested, titling my chin over towards the fag he held. His eyes dropped down to it too and he took a small drag before willingly giving it up. I hummed my appreciation, inhaling deeply.

“Feeling any better?” He quizzed, squinted stare unmoving from me as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Air helps.” I replied, then tried for a joke, wanting to lighten the weighted atmosphere I’d created. “But hey, they say bad things come in three’s, so I won’t be too surprised if I end up under a bus on the walk home.”

“Don’t say shit like that.” George grimaced, and shook his head as he looked away from me, seemingly paler at the very thought. I glanced away too, feeling a bit stupid.

A long silence fell between us then and I used it to finish off the cigarette he’d lit. Already itching for another. But I wouldn’t. At least not yet. Not until I’d made it home and started running a bath. Waiting for that second where I could just hide away from the rest of the world again. An avoidance method I often frequented, which was appearing more and more enticing after everything that had happened over the last two days.

Still, I couldn’t leave things like this with George. I didn’t want to, try as I might. He’d been such a big part of my life growing up and today showed me that that fact hadn’t changed, even though our relationship had.

Whatever had happened between us in the lead up to our breakup, and the period after it, could be sorted out if we tried hard enough. I didn’t want to lose him, I couldn’t. And if things panned out the way I hoped for them too, then I’d have to get used to dealing with a lot more than just patching things up between us, like him eventually falling in love with somebody else.

Just the idea of it had me rolling, nausea creeping its way up my spine making my head spin.

I moved to stub out the butt on a nearby brick wall, tossing it into the plant box sat outside the cafe. George had calmed somewhat and was gazing over, watching me as I walked back towards him.

I rubbed at the tip of my nose, eyes lingering on my feet a moment too long. He cleared his throat.

“I um, Ross and I were gonna meet up down the local in a bit for a drink, if you wanted to join.” He mentioned, scratching the back of his head. “Only if you fancy it though. Figure we could just put this on pause for a bit. Let you get your head sorted first.”

I blinked, a little surprised. By the offer or his sincerity, I wasn’t quite sure. But I found myself nodding slowly anyhow, shocking myself even further. The hot, relaxing bath I’d been dreaming about vanishing in a blink.

“Uh yeah, yeah that sounds nice, I think.” I replied, caught off guard. But I inhaled and got over myself enough to give him a sly smile. “Did MacDonald plan it this way, believing that our meet would end in shit?”

George snorted at the insinuation, smirking over at me from where he stood rocking back and forth on the paved path. “Maybe, but when’s he ever been this prepared for anything?”

I gave a light laugh, unable to help myself. Because wasn't that the truth.

“So we’re encouraging this sort of behaviour now?”

“Why not? He’s growing up.” George grinned and I felt my feet moving before my brain could catch up.

“Alright then. Lead the way, Daniels.”

94 notes · View notes

entertwinedsewntogether · 1 year

Text

Long, long time | L.H

luke hemmings x reader

summary: you don't know how much longer you can cope with luke being on tour

warnings: panic attack, anxiety, angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, fem reader, reader is really going through it, very brief mention of lack of appetite, bit of poor self hygiene, not proofread

a/n: first time posting on tumblr despite being on here for years. literally terrified, also how god damn good is the feeling of falling upwards live album. i started levitating, don't get me started on os/co i could write a whole essay. also the ending is so rushed it's not funny but i couldn't think of an ending.

plus, the ending was my grandparents wedding song and i think it's so romantic so i put it in.

It was early. The night had kept you awake, closing your eyes meant seeing every mistake you had ever made play in your mind. The curtains on your window were left open, the empty street and faint stars mocking your every move. The dim streetlight was your only source of light, and something about it was wrong.

It had been two weeks of this, of constantly shaking hands and always looking over your shoulder. Showering took more effort than it should, you had a never ending stomach ache, it felt like you didn't need to eat or drink. Your brain had been on constant overdrive for so long that it didn't know how to switch off, and it felt like there were rubber bands, squeezing around your chest and your brain, getting tighter and tighter by the minute.

For two weeks, you had done the same thing each night. Sitting up in bed, crossing your legs under your thick blanket and rocking, back and forth and back and forth. Your hands found your hair. It was greasier than you realised. How long had it been since you washed it? Stretching out your fingers, they felt wrong. They look different then you remembered. How long had it been since you had looked at yourself? Your hands find your knees, gripping onto them as you continue to rock.

You really don't want to. But you know you should. Where is he today? What even is the date today? When did you last talk to him?

Oh, his voice. His sweet, sweet voice. What would he say if he saw you like this? And this bed. This bed is far too big without him in it.

Luke is worried as well. You last spoke three days ago, and it was only texting. Usually you facetime every night, but he hasn't seen your face in just over a week. He wonders if you are busy, are you seeing your friends, are you working more?

If you squeeze your eyes shut, you can see him. He is sitting on the bed in front of you, he is holding you, he is smiling that gorgeous soft smile that he sends your way whenever you feel down. You can feel his hands rubbing up your arms in a soothing manner, his lips pressing against your forehead as the sweetest act of comfort.

You raise a hand to his side of the bed, dragging your hand along his pillow. No. No. The corner of your eyes prick.

Standing up on shaky legs, you stumble through the dark until you find your phone, face down on your floor, next to some discarded clothes. When did you let your bedroom get this filthy? The hands digging at your chest begin to dig their nails in. You kneel down, sitting on your heels and click your phone on. It's far too bright, it stings your eyes, but nonetheless you gaze lovingly at your lockscreen. At Him.

His beautiful blue eyes, warm and loving, and his gorgeous eyelashes, god he is blessed. His beautiful smile, halfway to a laugh, bringing a sad smile to your lips. Your eyes blur as you touch his cheek through your phone screen, a ragged breath coming from your chest.

You unlock your phone, blurry eyes and shaky hands pressing his contact, and the big green call button. It rings once, twice, three times, four times.

"Hey honey! You ok? Isn't it early at home?"

You don't respond. Your mouth hangs open in shock. He's alive. He's breathing. He's real, and you haven't imagined him. His voice is coming through your phone, he is on the other end and you can almost feel him.

A deep breath.

"Luke," You sob, "Luke."

"Oh, my girl."

You can hear voices becoming louder, and some clattering, a door closing and finally, just him.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"It hurts, Luke. It really hurts."

"What hurts?"

"My chest. It's too tight and I can't breathe properly, and my brain is so sore, every time I move it stings and burns. And my skin is too tight on me, but it's too loose in some places, and I don't recognise myself and I'm so scared. I'm so tired, and I'm so scared, and I can't sleep, and the bed is too big and the house is too silent, and I need you."

You say it all in one breath, trying hard to regulate your breathing as you hold onto the phone for dear life.

"Ok, can we take some breaths together? Nice and slow. You're ok. You're safe."

You try to breathe, and eventually your chest opens up a bit. You open up your mouth to talk, but suddenly it's all mush. You sit together in silence for a bit. Speaking is too difficult. You click the phone onto speaker, and try to make your way back to bed.

"I'm right here baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

You manage to groan out a response, pulling your blanket over your shaking body. Another sob escapes your lips, and you wrap your arms around your middle, pretending that you are anywhere else, that you are anybody else, that you have your boy with you.

"I'm so proud of you, you're so brave, can we keep taking some deep breaths? Just copy me."

You listen to his breathing through the phone and try to copy it, the pressure in your throat easing slightly.

"I love you so much. And I'm home so soon. So soon."

"Yeah. Not soon enough." A shaky inhale, a shaky exhale.

"Do you want me to sit with you for a bit? I can be quiet, or I can talk, whatever you need honey."

He is so patient. He is so kind. The first time he saw you have one of these, he sat in the dark in complete silence with you for threehours.

"Talk to me. I need to hear your voice."

And so he does. He talks about what you will do when he gets back. He talks about hearing you in all of his songs, and how he can't wait to hold you.

"I need you to come home soon, Lu. I think I'm fading again. I can't sleep. I need you."

He hears the tremor in your voice, your desolate tone, your sniffles, your slight stutter. He feels his heart break in two, knowing that he isn't there to hold you, to put you back together and smooth your skin.

"I know baby. Not long now, and I'm all yours for as long as you need, okay?"

"Okay. I'm really tired. Can you sing to me?"

And he doesn't hesitate. You swear you can hear the slight smile in his voice,

"Always."

"Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me ,there's so much I feel that I should say, but words can wait until some other day"

His voice is sweet. His words linger in your head and your eyes drift closed.

"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time. Haven't felt like this, my dear since I can't remember when. It's been a long, long time"

Your heart feels warm. You know that it will not be easy. You know that the next two weeks will be hard. But you know that you will see him soon. And you know that you can live when you're with him.

"You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you. Or just how empty they all seemed without you. So kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again It's been a long, long time"

#luke hemmings x reader #luke hemming imagines #luke 5sos #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #5 seconds of summer #5sos #when facing the things we turn away from #wfttwtaf #5sos x reader #luke hemmings fluff #5sos imagine #5sos imgaines #5sos fan fiction #5sos fluff

464 notes · View notes

entertwinedsewntogether · 1 year

Text

THE ENDING SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP WHY DID I HAVE A FEELING THIS WAS COMING OML OML WHAT WHAT

I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name

Part Six

A/n: Another update!! Things are finally coming to a head, or are they?

So grateful for all the lovely feedback this series is currently getting, glad so many people are liking it!! The ending here is a bit abrupt but necessary I think, so I only hope you enjoy!:) X

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Masterlist

To G💋:

Freddie’s @3?

That message had been received well over an hour ago now, after I’d struggled back and forth on whether or not to actually press send.

In the end, Matty had made the decision for me and all but hustled me out of the front door and into his car after doing so.

He’d driven straight to mine, the fry up he’d just ordered in had come along with us for the ride too, and we’d spent the rest of our morning talking it all over, hashing out the pros and cons.

Matty had only left me alone once he’d laid out some clothes for me and made sure that I was freshly showered. It all should’ve been rather amusing, him mothering me, but to be frank I’d all but tossed him out on his arse the first chance I got. His blatant anxiety was like a live wire fraying at the edges and had not helped my own in the slightest.

I texted him now, nerves getting the better of me. My thumbs danced across the screen before my eyes darted back up to the familiar yellow door I was stood outside of.

I’m here Feeling so!! fucking!! pathetic!! Why are you making me do this again?? Help:(

I huffed and tugged a hand through my hair. I had not picked the best day to wear it down, the wind was unforgiving and seemingly had a mind of its own, unable to simply leave me be as it flew in every available direction.

Stepping towards the curb, I scanned the surrounding street. Freddie’s was one of the cutest little cafe’s Highgate had to offer, with its bright yellow trimmings and earthy green accents. It was also familiar territory for George and I, a place local enough that it had once been our regular, and not too far from mine now that I could easily just leave, head home, and hide if this all went tits up.

Yeah… I didn’t just feel pathetic. Apparently, I was.

I had to hold in a pitiful groan at the very thought, thankfully though I was distracted by Matty’s incoming reply.

Ratty🖤:

You are Pathetic that is But if you leave without tlking to him I will get Ross to tie you up and lock you in a room together

Well, wasn’t that a vivid image.

I could only wonder how both Ross and George would react to that notion.

Kinky.

Was what I texted back, unable to help my quiet snort.

Matty just replied with a rolling eyes emoji that had me chuckling to myself. It was in that moment that George made me aware of his arrival, causing me to whip around at the sudden hand I felt brace my shoulder.

“Why do you keep doing that!” I accused with a rather aggravated huff, hand now over my racing heart as I glanced down at the phone I’d nearly just dropped.

“Doing what?” George questioned me but the mirth which lined his voice already gave way to the fact that he knew exactly what I was on about. I scowled up at him whilst he gifted me a light laugh of his own, hands now pocketed in the depths of his coat as he tilted his head in the direction of the shop’s entrance. “We headed in then, or does the pavement suit you just fine?”

With a mocking smile I glanced over towards the door. I swallowed down the sudden hysteria, then evidently nodded. Guess it was time to face the music.

I tried to rationalise things as I trailed in behind him, ignoring the bout of butterflies I felt when he held the door open for me, and when he offered to order for the both of us whilst I nabbed a table.

George though, was none the wiser of my inner turmoil.

Almost on autopilot, I moved throughout the crowded space of the cafe having felt like I’d been caught in some sort of whirlwind. I took a seat in a booth near the back, leaving the opposing chair (facing away from the crowd) free for George to take, whilst I tried not to pay any attention to the nerves which were firing through my body.

I looked for something else to focus on, taking a couple of deep breaths whilst I waited. I attempted to distract myself with my phone, a few late birthday messages had come through in the time I’d had it pocketed, but I swiped them all away, just like the I’d done with all the others. Nothing else really caught my attention after that though and ultimately I just decided to switch the entire thing off.

It was then that I rubbed at my temples and glanced up at the rest of the cafe. It hadn’t changed much in the time I’d been away, they’d ordered in a couple of new table covers from what I could see, and had added a few new prints to the far wall, but that was about it. I wondered if they’d done anything to the menu, if they still did those chocolate almond croissants I’d been ever so fond of. The very thought gave me an immediate craving for them.

I tried to people watch, crossing my left leg over my right as I surveyed the few other patrons, but my gaze just kept on trailing back to the one person I was waiting on, who appeared to tower above the rest of the others stood in the queue.

George looked much better than he had last night as he’d been leaving, as though the daylight had taken the time to sharpen his every feature. He wore a pair of battered blue jeans that were slightly cuffed at the ankle, exposing more of the heavy black docs he had on his feet. The jeans were of a looser fit but they were snug in all the right places.

As expected, he had his torso wrapped up in a multitude of layers. A white tee to start with, which clung to every curve of his upper body and was showcased by the light linen shirt he’d paired over top. Then to ward off the slight chill that was in the air he’d also chosen to throw on a boxy denim jacket too, one which had been showered in all types of patterns and prints.

It seemed as though George had stepped up his game a bit since we’d last been together, back then it was all skinny jeans and funny shirts you’d expect your dad to be wearing whilst manning the grill in summer.

I couldn’t seem to help my soft smile as I contemplated what other small details he might’ve changed. But then he glanced over at me and I had to try and act nonchalant, as if I hadn’t been blatantly staring.

I adverted my eyes and cleared my throat, acting as though the nearby wall was of sudden interest. It’s brickwork was rather detailed, but that was about as fascinating as it got.

It wasn’t long before George was making his way over to me, sliding into the seat opposite. It humoured me a little to see him having to squeeze himself into one of these things again, his legs still too long to fit comfortably beneath the tabletop.

“Forgot to ask what you fancied, so I just got your usual.” He said and gestured towards the tray he’d brought over. I peered down at what he’d ordered and couldn’t fight the warmth that flooded my chest.

A cup of milky English tea, prepared just the way I liked it, was perched in the corner, and plated beside it was the same chocolate almond croissant I’d just been thinking of.

“You remembered.”

I found myself saying. My voice a faint murmur that must have held some surprise, enough to colour George’s face with confusion.

“Yeah?” His forehead furrowed ever so slightly. “Why, did you think I’d forget?” He asked with a smug smile. “Practically engrained in my mind after that one weekend last summer- when you’d been sick and all you would eat were these things and those cheap supermarket digestives.”

George snorted at the thought as his sentence trailed off, already moving things around so that he could place the tray to one side. I had to join him with a silent chuckle of my own.

“You still like them then? Those biscuits.” He clarified when I rose a brow in retort, I shook my head at his question.

“No, uh,” I bit my lip and had to laugh a little, “A couple weeks back I got a little obsessed with them all over again, had them for breakfast, lunch, would snack on them constantly… Matty actually ended up buying a bulk load of them and we ate so many in one sitting that we sort of got sick of them. He can’t even think about them now without pulling this weird face.”

George gave me a quirked smile, his eyes humorous. “Kind of like when he hates something on a track? That almost constipated, questioning a funny smell sort of look?”

“Yes! Exactly that.” I giggled, nodding away again. “It’s so funny to watch. Sometimes I mention them just for pleasure of seeing it again.”

He smirked, looking over at me. “Can imagine.”

It was then that I caught the big grin I’d been wearing and had to dim it down a watt. I dragged in a slow breath as I pulled my cup over towards me, “So how’ve you been then? We didn’t really get time to talk much yesterday, properly I mean…”

George winced a fraction and released a heavy breath. His eyes trailed over towards the window as he shrugged. “Just trying to keep busy, I suppose.”

My head bobbed, “Yeah, Matt and Ross mentioned working in the studio again.”

George hummed in return, fiddling with the handle of his mug now. “Jamie’s looking forward to the next album but I don’t know, I’m not feeling it as of yet.”

He glanced over at me then and the smile I wore was sincere, understanding. I remember how much he used to wind himself up over the production of every album, unsure on what songs to use and to scrap.

“It’ll all work out, always does.”

“Maybe.” George replied but the look he had in his eyes threw me a bit, as though he was thinking of something else entirely. I went to question him,m about it, but he beat me to the punch. “Anyway, how about you? You’ve been spending a lot of time with Matty lately.”

“He been talking about me again?” I quipped light-heartedly, but George’s response was almost the opposite.

“Yeah, doesn’t stop actually.”

I frowned. “Oh. Well, he’s just been a really good mate as of late. Was struggling with things for a while…”

George’s expression changed again then, only faintly, anyone else wouldn’t have even noticed it but I’d known him for far too long now. I hurried to soften the blow a bit.

“Erm, just things at work fell through and then some other stuff, spent a load of time held up at home. Matty helped me out, got me functioning again.”

George looked as though he wanted to prod a little further, get a bit more out of me. But that was a wound I wasn’t willing to reopen here and now.

“But these last couple of weeks I’ve been helping out down at this flower shop. It’s been a massive change of pace.” I told him, and it was true.

I’d gone through a tough period after having been let go from my last job at an advertising company. I’d been one of their best designers (not to blow my own horn) and worked long and hard hours. But then sales had depleted rapidly and the business had gone bust. They’d started tossing off the dead weight on an already sinking ship way before things had really gone sideways. I’d been one of the first lot to go.

Which ultimately meant that I’d been made redundant for a while, but thankfully it was only for a short term.

The flower shop up on the high street had been advertising for a new hire and I’d just so happened to have been walking past and seen it. It had good pay and after they’d interviewed me and called me back with an offer, I’d been so relieved to have a steady income again that I didn’t really care for the fact that it was so completely different to what I’d been doing before.

“A flower shop?” George quizzed, his expression tinted with shock, only seen in the sudden squint of his eyes.

I grinned, “Not what you’d expect, huh? But I’ve sort of fallen in love with it. Plus, I still get to design there too. I remade all their business cards and pamphlets, redesigned the website, and I still get to decorate the shop’s window each week.” I explained to him, prattling away. “At the moment, I’ve been working on this chalk mural for next weeks display, it’s spring themed, full of all sorts of flower arrangements.”

George just blinked back at me.

“I, sorry. I just did not expect that…” He commented after an audible pause, “Thought you loved your job, remember it being the reason you wouldn’t tour with us for too long.”

I was quick to nod back at him. “I did love it. But things changed and I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I’m grateful for what happened though. Happier for it.”

He dipped his head slowly in response then drank from his cup. “That’s good then. I’m happy for you.”

I smiled and broke off a piece of my croissant, being careful as I dipped it into my tea, George immediately made a face.

“What?” I laughed, peering over at him, mouth hidden behind a hand as I chewed. He shook his head in silent reply, casting his eyes away, and so I prodded, “No, go on! What is it?”

He rolled his eyes at me wearing a smile he couldn’t seem to dampen. “Just that.” He waved a hand between me and my plate. “Used to drive me mad. I’d be washing up back at the flat and suddenly I’d pick up a cup half full of soggy bread.”

I wrinkled my nose, trying not to grin. “It’s good! It’s what makes it all gooey and warm.”

“Just ask for it to be heated then!” George defended, his voice raised a tad as a chuckle spilled from his mouth.

“They’re two different types of textures!”

He merely shook his head as he went to take another sip of his coffee. “Still so stubborn, I swear.”

I hummed happily, “That’s why you-”

The smile I’d been wearing then instantly slipped off my lips as I stopped myself short. A certain dread filled me at the realisation of what I’d just been about to say.

George raised a brow, “Why what?”

I fixed my stare on the plate before me and picked aimlessly at the pastry. Then waved his question off, gravitating back towards my tea. “Nothing. Doesn’t matter now.”

He frowned and went to pester me again, but in that single second my entire world seemed to shift and turn on its head.

I froze at the sight which played out before me and almost dropped my cup at the immediate shock that ripped its way through my body.

I struggled to remember how to breathe.

George was quick to reach out and steady my arm though, saving me from a harsh scolding and the spillage I’d been setting myself up for.

“Shit! You alright?” He fussed, up and out of the booth in a flash, settling the tea I’d been holding back down on the table then grabbing a fistful of napkins to wipe up the small puddle I’d made. "What happened?"

I opened my mouth to answer him but no sound came out.

I couldn’t find it in me to reply. To form a coherent sentence.

Every word I’d ever known had simply left me.

But that seemed to be an ongoing theme today. Because…

“Mum?” I croaked out.

95 notes · View notes