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Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

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I won’t be watching the Bundy Tapes on Netflix.

Instead I will be reading and thinking about Ted Bundy’s victims. I wonder where their movies are. I wonder why their names aren’t raised.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Lynda Ann Healy, a 21 year old psychology major about to graduate that semester. Lynda worked with handicapped children and got up early every day to report on the skiing conditions for local radio.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Debra Kent, a 17 year old aspiring social worker who was known for always having change to feed parking meters for strangers.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Susan Curtis. Susan was only 15 years old and was riding her bike to church that day. She was a star on her high school track team.

In a world filled with kind, beautiful people, I wonder why we all know Ted Bundy’s name. I wonder if that isn’t giving him and people like him exactly what he wanted. And frankly I’m sick of hearing people talk about him.

I’d like to talk about 12 year olds Lynette Culver and Kimberly Leach, neither of whom turned 13 because Ted Bundy stole their innocence and their lives from them. Kimberly had just been elected first runner up “Valentine Queen” by her peers and never got to wear that pretty new dress. Do you think her parents still have that dress, hanging in the back of a closet? I bet they do. I bet her dad sits with it in his darkest moments. You ever thought about him when you hear the name Ted Bundy?

Let’s talk about 19 year old Susan Rancourt, who had a 4.0 GPA. 17 year old Laura Aime. 18 year old Georgeann Hawkins. 23 year old Janice Ott. 26 year old Nancy Wilcox. 23 year old Caryn Campbell. 17 year old Melissa Smith. 19 year old Donna Manson, who was an excellent flute player and by all accounts a bit of a goth. 20 year old Kathy Parks. 22 year old Brenda Ball. 20 year old Lisa Levy. 21 year old Margaret Bowman. 25 year old Denise Oliverson, who had just gotten into a spat with her new husband and had gone for a walk to clear her mind. Denise weighed 105 pounds. She was bound, gagged, raped, mutilated and thrown from a fast moving car. Have you ever considered what HIS life has been like since that day? How many hours of his life do you think have been spent on the floor, clutching the ring he had given her, apologizing into thin air?

These stories are real. These people are REAL.

I get that Ted Bundy was handsome and his eyes were very blue but please. Please stop glamorizing him like this. He ended and ruined lives. Nothing about him is cool or worthy of emulation. Ted Bundy raped, tortured, mutilated and strangled over 30 females, including 12 year old girls. None of his victims weighed more than 115 pounds.

Ted Bundy was a pathetic man.

Emulate Lynda. Emulate Debra. Raise their names and their voices to those around you. Honor them. They were very real people with promising lives and futures stretched ahead of them, stolen.

Please don’t elevate or whitewash this kind of rampant violence against women. I assure you the world is harsh enough for us without a new generation thinking Ted Bundy is a cool, fascinating guy.

Thanks.

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For the record, both Alicia's and Tatum's reactions/feelings about Leighton not being out are valid.

Alicia not wanting to be pulled back into the closet by someone so fiercely closeted that they blew up at her for posting a picture they weren't even in, wherein they were afraid someone would recognize something that belonged to them - like that paranoid and afraid - is understandable. Like that's triggering and it would feel regressive to be with someone like that if you've come out already. And let's recall Leighton wasn't out to anyone yet and her internalized homophobia was at its peak. Alicia was right.

Tatum telling Leighton there's no timeline in coming out and not applying the pressure on her to do so (to her family) or making her feel bad was wonderful. Then again, I'd expect as much cause as she pointed out, they literally only just started dating. Tatum was right.

Leighton is out at school now. She's out to her friends now. She can openly date girls. Tatum doesn't have to feel like Leighton's dirty little secret or completely cut off from her social life. This is a very different relationship that does not compare to what Alicia experienced and it's not fair to compare the two, especially to shame Alicia.

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bro I don’t understand why everyone is switching up on Alicia. Like yeah she told Leighton she couldn’t be with someone so closeted, but she NEVER forced her to come out. She actually said that it was ok if she never came out. She just had to respect herself and her own mental health so she ended things with Leighton. But she NEVEr said “you need to come out or we’re done” she basically said “I need to respect myself and my boundaries so we can’t do this anymore.” WHICH IS VALID. Look, I’ve had a girlfriend say the same thing when I was closeted. It’s not about forcing you out of the closet, it’s about respecting her own needs.

And as for the thing with Tatum, she never acted out of character. She says from the very beginning that she thinks school functions are lame and it is very doubtful that that will ever change. She was introduced as a doppelgänger for Leighton and she remains as such. BUT she is a doppelgänger of early season 1 Leighton. She is the Leighton who wanted to room with anyone other than the main 4. She is the Leighton that acted like a snob and thought everyone not “on her level” was lame. So it was not out of character for her to be a bitch at the women’s center fundraiser. Early season 1 Leighton would’ve acted the SAME WAY. Yes, Tatum was sweet when getting dinner with the dads, but early season 1 Leighton was sweet too, as seen by her offering to pay for Kimberly and her mother without telling anyone. However, Leighton has undergone so much transformation that now she isn’t the same judgmental bitch she once was. But Tatum is at her core because she is a callback to early Leighton.

Look, I’m not saying it wasn’t rushed, but we as a fandom should not be putting Tatum on a pedestal for being something she wasn’t. She was a judgmental bitch and we knew that from the very beginning. People were just caught by her moment of sweetness, but like Leighton says, she doesn’t know Leighton on a deeper level.

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Rose's Roots

[Yesterday I replayed Rusty Lake: Roots and I needed to get this out of my system. Wordcount: 972. Read on AO3]

My name is Rose Vanderboom.

Albert Vanderboom is my dad and only parent. My cousin, Leonard, lives with us. He was gone for 4 years to fight in war, but has now come back.

Leo's much older than me, but since his parents died when he was my age, my dad raised him, and this is his home too.

Leonard doesn't like my dad. I think he might be scared of him. I'm not sure why; dad might be strange, but he has never harmed me.

Years pass. I am 12 now, and one day, when we're alone, I ask Leo why is he afraid of dad. He looks me in the eye and says: "I still have nightmares about the day my parents died. And your father appears in them."

"That can't be," I say. "He wouldn't. He’s my dad."

Leonard looks away and says nothing, and I do the same.

I know my dad. He has his masks and his dark magic, but he's raised me and I too talk to the dead. He loves me, and I love him back.

...But Leonard's fear isn't feigned.

Years pass. I am 15 now. Dad's away, Leo too. I'm alone in the yard when a paperplane comes out of the well. Scribbled lines in shaky, childish handwriting ask for water, and food, and a stick.

I take a bucket and use it to, one by one, lower water, food, and a stick to the bottom of the well.

When I pull up the bucket one last time, the man at the bottom sending me messages from the bottom comes with it.

He's old, like Leo. Maybe older. Much older than me. He's frail and skinny and he can barely stand with the help of the stick when I help him on the ground.

On his other hand, he holds a ripped teddy bear in a grip so tight like I haven't used on a plushie since I was a little girl. He's crying. I help him.

The man's name is Frank. He doesn't talk much. His voice is hoarse. He doesn't seem well.

Frank's much older than me, but he doesn't know how to do a lot of things. Dad taught me how to fend for myself. I care for Frank.

Frank never lets go of his ripped teddy bear. It's difficult —I don't want to wake him— but when he's asleep, I take it and sew it back together. When he wakes and sees it, he cries and hugs it tight. He thanks me, tells me he has nothing for me.

I didn't do it to get something back, but I need to know. "Tell me what happened to you."

I try to imagine how it would've been to live twice my life in a well and I can't. 33 years Frank spent in the well at the yard and I didn't know. And it's dad who kept him prisoner. It's dad who killed Leo's parents.

My dad loves me, and I love him back. He raised me. He threw Frank down a well. He taught me magic. He killed Leo's parents. He taught me how to fend for myself. He kept Frank on the well for over three decades. I love him. I owe him. I can't support his actions anymore.

Years pass. I am 17 now. In the past two years, Frank has improved a lot. He is healthier now, and can walk without his stick. I've been helping him with his reading and writing. I've been teaching him how to cook, and sew, and do other chores. He's been teaching me about the stars, and I like that.

Leo has been helping Frank too. They get along. They both hate and are afraid of my dad.

He is my dad... But they are right.

When Frank and my dad meet, I know they want to murder the other. I know I can't keep the peace anymore.

When Frank kills my dad, I am conflicted. He was my dad. But this way he can't harm anybody ever again.

And I still have a family. Leonard and Frank are my family.

Years pass. I am 24 now. Leo has left for a walk, it's me and Frank alone in the house. It's a lovely day. We play music on the gramophone. He asks me for a dance, and I say yes.

And we dance, and we talk, and it feels nice.

"I am old," he tells me at one point.

He spent 33 years in a well, that's more time than I have been alive. I spent 24 years in the outer world, that's more time than he has ever spent outside that well.

"You're old by age," I say. "I'm old by experience."

I rest my head on Frank's shoulder as we dance, and he hugs me. I close my eyes, and everything's right.

Years pass. I am 26 now, and I'm not sure I want to do this anymore, but I feel the presence around us and I know I have to. The time for rebirth has come.

I told Leo and Frank about the sacrifices. We have the timepieces, we have the body parts. Isn't that enough? Haven't we earned rest?

Time passes. I'm not sure how much. I stand in the lake, with a baby in my arms and Leo and Frank standing at each of my sides.

I close my eyes when the roots wrap around us. I dare to hope for a future in which we're together.

The rebirth worked. And we're all together.

Frank holds me by the waist, Leo peeks at the baby from over my shoulder.

"Does she have a name?" he asks.

"Laura," I say after a second. "And she's our daughter now."

Maybe this time, our family can heal.

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does anyone remember Oswald the Octopus??

this fUCKING guy--

I cannot--

he has the softest voice! the biggest smile! the teeny legs! a hotdog dog (don't ask me why a animal has a pet, at least he's not on a leash)! HE TIPS HIS HAT TO BIRDS!! he is a gentleman & I love him

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One Bad Day - ferret_not_microwave - Les Misérables - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

Hi, here's my first Les Mis fanfic! I wrote it keeping in mind my own experiences with anxiety, and I sort of projected them on Combeferre, I guess? Anyway, I hope y'all like it!

#les mis fanfic #les miserables #modern au #combeferre #courfeyrac #combeferre is a little bean who needs to be protected at all costs #yes academic anxiety #tw anxiety #tw panic attack #ferret's freshly microwaved post

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Zodiac signs of The Glory characters, anyone?

#the glory #kdrama #zodiac signs #moon dong eun #joo yeojeong #park yeon jin #ferret's freshly microwaved post

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Ok, not only did Moon Dong Eun avenge the villains of this story. She found love afterwards and was able to pursue architecture like she always wanted to. She now dresses freely with her tattoo, proudly showing her scars. She's no longer confined to her trauma. Dong Eun got her revenge AND her happy ending!

Even though she was so convinced that she's a terrible person for wanting revenge, she actually managed to touch the lives of the people around her through simple acts of kindness (empathizing with them for being victims) and those same people came back to support her as well.

It's usually "revenge is bad" this "you got revenge but at what cost" that, but no, she got her revenge AND her and other people's happy ending. Even though it's a dark story about how victims suffer, there's always the underlying message of hope, where they also understand and help eachother. Even if they had to bend the rules to get it, The. Victims. Won. Oh. My. Goodness.

In the end, it wasn't exactly just "revenge," it was also about bringing justice to the victims.

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If you find me again, I’ll give back twice as much as I get. 

#the glory

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It's funny people don't understand that Dong Eun and Yeo Jeong were played to come off as cold to a certain degree even with each other.

Lack of chemistry? they're traumatized people obsessed with revenge.

Go watch the series again, look at their dynamics. Why does he fall for her? It's simply because he sees a lot of his own pain in her and that goes for her, too.

It's important to look at these aspects rather than expect some kind of romantic drama from something that never claimed it was.

#the glory #love the discussion #so true

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TW: Unsafe Abortion, Violence

The overturning of Roe vs. Wade upsets me. Why even? I have never set foot in the U.S., possibly never will in the near future. I am not so naive as to suppose that merely being an Indian student of African American Women's literature will give me the experience to truly understand what thousands of American women are feeling right now. Technically, I can only sympathize, and anyone knows how brittle and useless mere sympathy can become, if left to its own devices. But what I feel is unadulterated panic. Part of it, I have to admit, is the final nail to the coffin of a hope brought by colonial hangover, that the West is the bastion of feminist liberation. A thought many of you will snigger at, but we cannot deny that it remains as a tiny kernel in our feminist hearts. If the West regresses, slipping into the abyss women had climbed out of decades ago, what will become of us? We can enjoy a small, wry laugh — who needs the feminist saviour now? But a part of my panic comes with the understanding of what this decision means for BiPoC AFAB people in the States. To be honest, even my naivete suggests that many White cis-women may have the privilege to enjoy safe abortion practices under the counter. Not all, but the fact remains that the privilege exists. But, the history of the States has always stood on the attack and policing of Black women's bodies, deciding the fate of their children, drowning whole families in poverty and oppression and doubling perpetration on them in the name of penalising them for their own reproduction. This decision pitches them back to Moynihan 's echo again, breaking down years of struggle. This decision will bring back America's old, rusty tools of dehumanising Black women in the name of hypersexuality. This decision will once again form America's unholy triage - marking Black AFAB people's bodies as those which don't need to live. This decision will once again mark Black AFAB people as not having the primal right to life. It feels, to me, like re-reading annals of Black oppression which I had hoped was mere history, bringing back the echoes of quiet genocide. It feels, and I am not being sentimental, like watching people arming themselves for impending doom. Anti-blackness rears up again and again, and believe it, it will control how the States views AFAB people of colour outside its borders as well, including us. It will control the larger world narrative of what is the right kind of family, sex, sexuality, and ultimately, what is the worthy life? It will inspire bigots around the world who use the idea of America as the inspiration-tableaux to impose their right wing agenda. Because anti-Blackness does not stop at just the violent demarcation of Black people in terms of Black death. It contains within itself a whole gamut of ideas - hatred for anything except the ideal White male body, hatred for change, growth, women, love, identity, sex, and freedom. Anti-blackness is, ultimately hatred, all channelised to annihilate the Black body, the ultimate marker of difference against White supremacy. To put it succinctly, it will bite us in the arse soon enough. Can you deal with such hate?

#roe vs. wade #abortion rights #blacklivesmatter #afab health #white supremacists #person of color #solidarity #rants of an enraged indian student #ferret's freshly microwaved post

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Downton Abbey Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Thomas Barrow & Elsie Hughes, Thomas Barrow & Anna Bates, Anna Bates & Elsie Hughes, Charles Carson/Elsie Hughes, Anna Bates/John Bates Characters: Elsie Hughes (Downton Abbey), Becky Hughes, Thomas Barrow, Anna Bates, Charles Carson, Beryl Patmore, Robert Crawley, Mary Crawley, Cora Crawley, Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Disabled Character, Mental Institutions, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Retirement, Period Typical Attitudes, Ableism, Mr. Carson is an Asshole Here, Poor Mrs. Hughes, Butler Thomas Barrow, Housekeeper Anna Bates Summary:

"But — and this is something only Mr. Carson and Mrs. Patmore know — I have family. I have a sister. Rebecca, I call her Becky. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before"

Mrs. Hughes is retiring, and the Crawleys throw her a retirement party. There's only one snag — they have also asked her to invite any family, and she wishes to bring her sister, Becky, to Downton for once. She confides her wish to Thomas and Anna. How do they manage to organize a comfortable and beautiful visit for Becky? What hurdles do they have to face from a society not tolerant towards mental disabilities?

Looking forward to writing a long, multi-chaptered fic! Also, other than that one mention of Becky Hughes, there is no other indication in the series of her relationship with Mrs. Hughes. Here's a try, I guess? I hope this doesn't suck. ;_;

#cw disability #cw ableism #downton abbey #elsie hughes #thomas barrow #anna bates

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Hey peeps,

Is it okay to feel a little down if you haven't received enough kudos on a new fanfic on Ao3? I'm a newbie in fanfic writing and I'm not sure of I am doing something wrong. I don't want to make fanfiction writing some kind of a self-imposed contest for getting kudos, but lately I just feel I'm not being a good enough writer. How to help myself over writer's blues? :'(

#ao3 fanfic #ao3 kudos #writing #newbie #ferret's freshly microwaved post

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And to those who say, but second hand books and read them, what about the one who buys a second hand book, reads it, thinks wow how awesome is this i need to find more and starts supporting JK not knowing what an terf asshole she is.

You are still perpetuating the fandom.

It does make me wonder if she was a homophobe, racist, facist etc whether her ‘fans’ would still be like - but you can support the art but not the artist’ She isnt like Lovecraft who everyone knows he was a racist bigot. He is dead, his work is known for it’s time but it’s not affecting current policy, like JK Rowlings work IS.

The UK anti trans bills that came in were also a direct result of HER LOBBYING PARLIMENT.

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Downton Abbey Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Thomas Barrow & Elsie Hughes Characters: Thomas Barrow, Elsie Hughes (Downton Abbey), Charles Carson, Anna Bates, Andy Parker (Downton Abbey), Phyllis Baxter Additional Tags: Suicide Attempt, Caretaking, References to Depression, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Thomas Barrow's Suicide Attempt, Thomas Barrow Needs a Hug, Internal Monologue, POV Mrs. Hughes Summary:

"I have nothing to live in this world for. I am a waste of space."

And for the first amongst hundred times, she tells him that he is not.

A short piece where Mrs. Hughes tries to concentrate on caring for Thomas in the aftermath of his suicide attempt.

This is a very personal fic. Caregiving for a suicidal person is extremely draining and traumatizing, and unfortunately recent events in my life have taught me so. You could say I have projected the last few days onto Thomas and Mrs. Hughes. This is for all those people who are struggling with mental health troubles, and all those who are taking care of them.

I hope you get better, friend. This is for you.

#cw: suicide attempt #thomas barrow #elsie hughes #downton abbey #ao3 fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort