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#pet portrait #pet #cute #bunny #cat #dog #naruto #pokemon #anime #fiverr #pinterest #affordable #cannabis #art #digital aritst #portrait

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Trigger warning: eating disorder

Ok, so,

I’ve always had an extremely bad body image and low self esteem (along with crippling social anxiety but that’s a whole other story). We won’t get into why blah blah childhood trauma. 

Emotional eating was a big part of this and I’m sure you can imagine the cycle of salef hatred->eat->quilt/shame->self hatred->eat etc. Started dieting at age 10, started purging at age 14. This method helped me maintain my weight but I never dropped (I was at a healthy weight btw, even if my habits were the opposite of that). At 16 I lost a ton of weight due to a severe depressive episode and just literally not caring enough to eat. I was underweight, unhealthy, never exercised, never went outside, on the verge of passing out most of the time. But I liked the way I looked. Sometimes I thought I could stand to lose more. It wasn’t the best time for me.

Then when I was 17 I tried to kill myself. Life kind of sucked for a long time after that, but I started treatment, got on medication and going to a therapist. My eating went back to the way a person should eat. Failed my matric (high school), went to a multi-course accademy and moved out of my parents house at 18, but my roommate was never around and I was really lonely and sad. Moved back in with my parents, who I don’t have a good relationship with and my depression got the better of me. I started the emotionall bingeing again but was unable to purge anymore because of a massive haitus hernia (caused by my bulimia) that made it incredibly painful for me to throw up. I gained almost 30kg in a year. 

In April 2019 I tried to kill myself again. I got put into a long term treatment programme (for depression and social anxiety, not specifically for an ED), which I began in the beggining of May. Meals were planned specifically and we had to exercise 5 days a week. I lost the weight I had gained and was the healthiest I’ve been since before puberty. 9 months later, I came home in Feb 2020. Unfortunatly I’ve had to stay with my family including my very emotionally abusive step father. In my country we were put on a mandatory 3 week lockdown, and today it’s been extended until the end of April. Being bored and also stuck with my family 24/7 has brought on my old habits. I’m trying really hard but a lot of the time I end up crying in the kitchen at 3am eating everything out of the cupboard. I don’t want to go back to the way things were, not after working so hard.

I really need some help, trying to resist the compulsion to eat isn’t working and I can’t exactly go to my therapist during lockdown. Any tips would really help me out. 

TL;DR Being stuck in quarantine with my family is causing my BED to resurface and some tips and other help would be very appreciated rn

#tw: ed #eating disoder recovery #bulimia #binge earing disorder #relapse prevention #please help

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Ariana Grande: God is a woman.

Lydia Riera, an intellectual: 

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mfw im taking selfies and vaping on sunday morning but i realize im in church service

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the mood for this month

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what she says: i'm fine

what she means: i still can't believe simon's fucking "friends" abandoned him after he was traumatically outed to the entire school, over something as petty as high school relationships. they didn't even take an "i love you but i'm mad at you" approach, they forced him to face returning to school alone, even sit alone at lunch in total isolation. The hate incident happens in the cafeteria and they don't do ANYTHING. they don't stand up and say anything, they don't support simon, they don't even try to stop it. they just sit silently and watch as simon, and simon ALONE, confronts his attackers in front of everybody. yet somehow the narrative portrays them as The Good Guys, the heroes of the story who have nothing to apologize for.

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list of men i trust:

john mulaney

andy samberg

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Anyways the way Tumblr treats the Perks Of Being A Wallflower like it’s cringe and bad just because of the hipster craze over it in 2012 and ignoring the fact that it’s one of the few books/movies that shows the ugly side of teen mental illness and discusses sexual trauma in young boys (something only portrayed in shows like SVU) is in fact, bullshit, and I’ll never forgive y'all for taking the line “we accept the love we think we deserve” (a reference to toxic abusive relationships) and turning it into cringe culture. This is a book about a struggling depressed kid who I saw myself in as a teen, and yeah he and his friends could be annoying and pretentious but are you going to say you weren’t as a kid?

Alexa post tweet

#tbh i read this book in highschool and i loved it so much

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Please watch this series of Japanese gum commercials

You won’t regret it I promise

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Tiny Hedgehog Goes Camping, And His Pics Are The Best Thing You’ll See Today

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HELL TO THE YES I would