heartless-aro

[heartless-aro]

if you see a male character kiss a male character, you assume they are gay.

if you see a female character kiss a female character, you assume they are a lesbian.

if you hear a character say they don't feel like their gender, you assume they are trans.

so why do a-spec characters have to jump through so many loops?

a character saying they've never had a crush or don't want a relationship or that they don't understand romantic love is so often ignored or used as fodder for other queer or autistic headcanons (reinforcing stereotypes that aroace people are secretly gay or always autistic)

why is it that our stories are always "up to interpretation"? why do we have to wait for the words aromantic or asexual to be said to be taken seriously? why is it that even when characters say they don't want relationships, fans will scream and cry about sex/romance favourable aspecs and qprs?

when it comes to gay and trans characters, even the likes of bisexual lighting is often treated as though it canonises their sexuality. for aroace characters, even the most explicit coding possible is swept under the rug in favour of other "interpretations"

i'm so tired of fighting for representation just to have it ignored and minimised by fans. let characters be aroace. please.

#aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace

[heartless-aro]

Happy lesbian visibility week to aromantic lesbians! Y’all are cool as fuck.

Shoutout to allosexual aromantic lesbians! Your sexual attraction to women is beautiful and normal, and you aren’t bad or predatory for feeling that attraction, regardless of whether it’s accompanied by romantic attraction. Shoutout to aro lesbians who feel some romantic attraction! Your romantic attraction is just as lovely and as real as anyone else’s, even if you may experience yours differently or less often than an alloromantic person would. Shoutout to aroace lesbians. Whether your attraction to women is romantic, sexual, or something else that doesn’t fit neatly into either category, you are no less aroace for being a lesbian, and you are no less of a lesbian for being aroace.

Shoutout to aromantic lesbians who are relationship anarchists, aromantic lesbians who are nonpartnering or polyamorous, aromantic lesbians who are married, aromantic lesbians who have a zucchini/QPP or a foveo/FWB, and aromantic lesbians in soft romo relationships or waverships.

Y’all’re so wonderful, and I hope you have a splendid week!

#aro #aromantic #lesbian #lesbian visibility week #alloaro #aroace

[heartless-aro]

yes there are the horrors but at least im aro

#aro #aromantic

[heartless-aro]

i have a burning hatred for relationship hierarchies.

Why is it offensive to want to just be friends? Why is it expected for romantic partners to always take prioritization over friends? Why is it rude to tell someone you aren't friends, just chill with each other? Why are queerplatonic relationships seen as a step down from romantic relationships? Why is it bad to not want to make step ups in romantic relationships?

these labels have different meanings and levels importance to everyone, therefore they have no meaning or importance.

in my world, there are two places you can stand. next to me or the fuck away.

#relationship anarchy #ra

[heartless-aro]

This post goes out to unfeeling aros. To aros that choose to reject love and aros that don't see it as a part of their life. To aros that had no choice in what love they struggle to or can't feel at all. To aros with low or no empathy, to aros that can't fit the ideal of "still caring in a different way". To aros that very rarely or will never "love in other ways". To aros that can't, won't, or don't want to be defined by how much they love their friends or family instead.

Being aromantic is not something to "redeem".

Being aromantic should not be something you have to dress up in "buts" and "ifs" about feeling in other ways.

Being aromantic means supporting the aros around you, not punching down because you found a way to be accepted more broadly and don't mind who gets left behind. It's all of us or none of us, and that includes aros who can't love, can't care, and won't fit the image of a "good aro" who's perfectly platonic, familial, caring and loving. Even the most solitary aro you can think of is deserving of a judgement-free life.

#aro #aromantic

[heartless-aro]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

#asexual #ace #aro #aromantic #aspec

[heartless-aro]

sorry we gave your boyfriend a copy of Relationship Anarchy by Juan Carlos Pérez Cortés. yeah he's deconstructing amatonormativity and reconsidering the hierarchical nature of your relationship. yeah he's not breaking up with you but he Has been radicalized. sorry

#relationship anarchy #ra

[heartless-aro]

by the way, saying 'aros can still date' isn't an excuse to force them to date people. it just means aros are people with free will and can do what they want with their dating life

#aro #aromantic

[heartless-aro]

green hair and opinions on amatonormativity

#aro #aromantic #amatanormativity

[heartless-aro]

Sad Ant with Bindle

Flag(s): Progress, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, genderfluid, nonbinary, asexual, and aromantic.

Shape(s): Heart with sparkles

Requested by: None

Anyone can use, credit appreciated but not required.

#these are magnificent #lgbtq #undescribed

[heartless-aro]

Friendly reminder Marriage Will Never Set Us Free

maybe consider adding Marriage Abolition to your beliefs, turns out Gay Marriage is assimilation into the existing hierarchies rather than liberation from them

Non-traditional family structures (single parents, found families, queer-platonic partnerships, polycules, etc) will continue to be disadvantaged so long as marriage as an institution has any material meaning

#oh the linked article is a pretty interesting read #anyways #marriage equality is great but it’s a bandaid slapped onto a much larger systemic problem #marriage abolition #amatanormativity #queer liberation #lgbt rights

[heartless-aro]

I'm officially becoming a marriage abolitionist. State doesn't need to know your relationships. The legal qualifications and privileges associated with marriage now don't have to be and the system could be replaced with a new ranking one that makes them less rigid and also removes blood family assumptions at the same time. "These people can visit me in the hospital, this person can't. This person can make decisions for me if I'm unable to (for a legitimate reason), these people can't. These people could not inherit custody of my children, these people could." And if you want to engage in marriage traditions that's completely fine, but the state doesn't need to know.

#marriage abolition

[heartless-aro]

Aroace in a way that’s inseparable from relationship anarchy. Aroace in a “getting rid of the legal institution of marriage” way. Aroace in a “romantic/sexual attraction is irrelevant to me in the first place because I actively choose to deprioritize the romantic/sexual/nuclear family ideal of relationships in my life” way.

#aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace #relationship anarchy #marriage

[heartless-aro]

So, I love the concept of the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord Tool, but my brain has a hard time navigating the layout of the official version, and it contained a lot of things that weren’t relevant to my close intimate relationships.  I ended up creating this simplified version to specifically suit my own needs. Some people in my FB groups have greatly appreciated the easy-to-read boxes, so I figured I’d offer it here too!  (I included a filled out version for anyone wondering how to use it.)  Also, remember, this is good for ALL types of relationships, you don’t to be a relationship anarchist to benefit from this kind of transparency! 

#relationship anarchy #undescribed

[heartless-aro]

I got myself thinking too deeply about asexual history again so here is the link to my summarized notes on asexual history from the 1800’s to modern day

The notes are easy to read and give the broad strokes of major events in asexual history. I didn’t go into much detail for most things, so if any of them grab your curiosity I highly recommend looking into it in more detail!

#not aroposting #asexual #ace #this reminds me that i never got around to organizing those notes on aro history like i’d planned #i should do that sometime when i’m not so busy

[heartless-aro]

the best thing about being aromantic is everything about being aromantic.

#aro #aromantic #aro joy #nsfcl

[heartless-aro]

#undescribed #aro #aromantic #i’m interested 👀