inbetweenimperfectmusings

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

“It’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.”

— Unknown

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

digital immortality | virtual e-morality

1. blueskies-bluescreens on tumblr 2. death, virtual grief and your digital footprint 3. online status of a steam community user 4. my journal dot com 5. & 7. hacked-wtsdz on tumblr 6. STurner4077 on twitter 8. the new forms of mourning by julie alev dilmaç 9. all the ghosts in the machine: illusions of immortality in the digital age 10. unknown 11. fairycosmos on tumblr 12. researching death online

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

Tonight, there was an opportunity to talk about you, to say your name out loud, and I wondered how much my eyes and my voice would betray me, how much would be read and audible in the tone of my voice when I spoke the syllables of your name. I could feel my heart rise as I said your name even in passing, that it was just not a name, but yours. This is my life now.

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

This is it.

Everything matters so much

That is it.

I feel everything so much

#poetry #my poetry #original poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #poems #original poem #spilled ink #my poem #poem

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

Voiceover

I am loved

I am loved

I am never alone 

I have Allah, Allah has me,

Last year I lived in a house,

Patience, devotion and trust

I tore it down,

Living in the consequences, 

Foundations of faith,

Draped in affection,

I covered with bricks of loneliness and longing and desire and desperation,

No strength in them,

No substance no sustenance,

No protection

I know the storm when it rains,

I know it loves me back

Better than I will ever love myself,

Because that was never enough,

I sit alone in ruins.

If only I did.

I could have built something 

Worth inviting someone into.

Who will come into my house 

And help me up off the floor?

Who will drain the river I am crying

Of how much I cannot stand myself

If I am not deserving of love.

#poetry #spilled ink #my poem #poem #original poem #my poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #original poetry #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

The car;

An empty room;

Action:

Tears, start rolling,

Silent to start

End sob-wracking,

Chest-cracking-

I think I am lonely

And I’m the only reason why.

#poetry #love poem #my poetry #original poetry #poets on tumblr #original poem #my poem #poem #spilled ink #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

Why is longing so hard

I’m missing something I’ve never known

Mourning a person I’ve never met 

So happy, so full,

Still hollow,

So much good and

So truly, devastatingly, crashingly empty

A glimpse of something I could have

Echoes in me for years, 

Round these four chambers, 

Ringing in my ears, 

Trying to fill a part of me

Always vacant.

#poetry #poem #my poem #my poetry #poets on tumblr #original poetry #love poem #spilled ink #original poem #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

I look at love through frosted glass,

Call out her name and ask

When can I get to know you better? 

She doesn’t respond so I knock,

All it leaves is knuckle marks in my breath, 

I’ve been waiting here for so long 

Like I’m the only one in this room,

She doesn’t even look at me, well-  

Pretend you can’t hear all you like,

One day I’ll break this glass 

Find you a hollow outline of all the things the books described 

Realise I have to fill you myself

And that the shards at my feet

Were nothing but a dirty mirror.

#my poetry #love poem #original poem #original poetry #poems #poets on tumblr #my poem #poem #spilled ink #poetry

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

They ask me what is faith, 

I strain my eyes to not look at you,

What is holiness if not

The vows I took in your name,

Long before my body was made of earth

God wrote my name next to yours in the stars,

Loyalty runs deeper than laws,

I’d fall from seven heavens if it meant landing in your arms,

I once had dreams of the afterlife,

In their dust I see your hand in mine.

What is faith?

They shake my shoulders,

My head denies blind devotion,

My lips betray me when they carve out your name.

#poetry #poem #my poem #poets on tumblr #original poetry #poems #love poem #original poem #spilled ink #my poetry

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

It is cold tonight.

Lend me your warmth, let me kiss

The back of your neck.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #my poem #original poem #love poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #my poetry #poems #haiku poetry #haiku #haiku poem #daily haiku #original haiku #poet

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

There is something about the back of a man’s neck

The shape of his hairline

Sharp against empty skin

Disappearing under his collar,

I undress with my eyes,

So what? Handcuff me.

I was praying to find bite marks,

Skin bare and cold

Tasting like salt

Until warm iron coats white teeth,

Do men like it when you buy them flowers?

I am too scared to find out,

I will wait until I am too desperate 

And hiss in a stranger’s ear

Let me kiss the back of your neck.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #my poem #original poem #my poetry #love poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

Through the stairwell doors I pause,

Stop as the sunlight glares,

The walls three shades lighter

From when I remember 

The same window speckled with rain,

The sky laughs at me in blue,

How stupid of you to assume,

Next light that reaches my eyes

Is street lamp sharp

From amongst the dark,

I wrinkle my nose through the glass,

Why can’t you make your mind up,

Let me choose how I feel,

Then he knocks on the door-

So I clutch my heart to my chest,

It might leave me behind,

Spite his scribbled out name in my notebook,

I shouldn’t ask for what I cannot do.

The sunset storm a myriad of colours,

The painter in the heavens whispers back

Perhaps it is not such a bad thing,

My eyes in the bathroom mirror

After you said good morning

Cannot decide what shape to take.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #my poem #original poem #love poem #my poetry #original poetry #poems #poets on tumblr

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

I want love.

So simple

Asking, begging

Sounds unfair

Demanding, childish

Helplessly weak

Scrambling, scrounging

Hopelessly blind

Ignorant-

I want love. 

#poetry #poem #my poem #spilled ink #original poem #my poetry #love poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

I screenshot the common room window

For a dream I’ll see in the future,

From the dent I’ve made in the chair,

The laptop hot on my thighs,

The egg shaped cloud from 10 minutes ago

Is gone,

The tree in the bottom left corner

Has raced the others to turn orange first, 

I dread December,

Its harbinger bare branches,

Endings are hard to write,

I do not know how to tie off my feelings,

Goodbye does not leave my swollen throat

And this fabricated love unravels.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #my poem #original poem #my poetry #love poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

My eyes bore holes

Deepening the fingernail indents

On a white marble thigh,

Sheer fabric made of stone

Slivers over fair skin

Covering nothing,

My heart tears at a statue

More loved than I,

More longed for than I,

The question makes ashes of my ribs-

When will someone love me

The way sculptors love their stone?

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #my poem #original poem #my poetry #love poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poems

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

’never become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere’ except i’m a writer so. never become a poem I’d carry in my heart forever

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

shim el yasmin - mashrou' leila

in arabic, the second person pronoun is by necessity gendered; hamed sinno, mashrou' leila's openly gay lead singer, sings this song referencing another man