innieandsungielover

[innieandsungielover]

This was so adorable and sweet and well-written, I loved it!!!

𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚.

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader (non-idol au) Genre: Fluff + Smut Word Count: 4.7k Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse (not by felix), manipulation(also not by felix), comfort, Chan is a fricking bodyguard (not literally), soft!dom lixie, gentle sex

A/N: I put the requests down for a moment, I'll get to them soon but I wanted to write something about Felix since i haven't yet TAGLIST APPS >.>

You sat up in bed hugging yourself, covered in a cold sweat, traumatized. He's gone. You mutter to yourself, yet you still find yourself locking your bedroom door, you still find yourself calling Chan.

He sat with you until you calmed down, until Changbin came with food for you and gave you a bearhug.

Chan returned to the apartment he shared at 11am, Changbin trailed behind him tiredly.

"Is she ok?" Hyunjin asked, standing up from where he sat with Jeongin and Felix.

Chan nodded slowly, "Y/N was sleeping when we left."

"When that dick gets out of prison, I swear I'll kill him." Jeongin huffed.

Felix looked at his friends, "What?"

"It doesn't matter to you." Hyunjin said simply.

"You don't know her." Chan said, walking to his room.

Changbin sat on the couch. "She's not good with new people recently."

Felix nodded to himself, looking at his hands. Changbin stood and went to his room.

"Jeongin." Felix nudged his friend.

"Huh?" Jeongin looked up from his phone.

"What are they talking about?" Felix asked quietly.

Jeongin opened his mouth then closed it. He said softly, "It's not my place to say anything."

Felix hummed softly. "Who's Y/N?"

"Friend of Chan and Changbin."

"Oh."

You hummed softly to yourself as you dragged yourself out of your bed and into the hall, you went to the kitchen and opened a cabinet staring at the empty shelf.

"Great. No (fav snack).." You sighed, turning back to your bedroom and entering the connected bathroom. You tried to make yourself look semi-decent before pulling on your hoodie and sweatpants. You grabbed your wallet and left for the convenience store up the street. You entered and grabbed a small basket, heading to the snack isle and practically clearing the shelf of all of your favorite snack. You noticed a very interesting looking drink and settled on buying a 12 pack.

You set the stuff on the register and pulled out your card, scanning it on the machine. It buzzed loudly, your brows furrowed. "Wha-"

"Ma'am your card declined." The cashier said, taking the bag of your snacks to the other side of the counter and putting them under to return later.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I've got it." Someone said behind you.

You looked at a man with a gentle face and blonde hair, his eyes were big and brown and they sparkled when he smiled at you. He slid his card across the counter along with his stuff. He pushed his bleach blonde hair out of his eyes and hummed.

The cashier nodded adding the man's charge to your own before scanning the card and handing it back to the man, "Have a good day."

You took your snacks and headed for the door. You moved for the door about to leave, and the man held it open for you, walking with you as you exited the store.

"Thank you." You said plainly.

"No problem," He said, still walking with you.

You tensed. "Thank you really. You don't have to follow me around."

Felix sucked in a breath, "I-"

You huffed and walked past your apartment, deciding to just be safe before you circled around the block and came back to your apartment building. When you came back to your apartment you threw the snacks on the counter in the kitchen and grabbed one with a drink before returning to your bedroom sanctuary. You picked up your phone and scrolled through your contacts, you clicked Jisung's contact and put it on speaker.

it rang only twice before he answered.

"Y/nnie are you ok?" He asked the moment he answered, "I can come over-"

"Don't. I wanted to spill some tea about my day." You laughed.

He was quiet for a moment and then you could hear the smile on his face as he spoke, "What happened, girly?"

After a month, you mustered up enough energy to get in a cab and go to Chan's apartment alone. You saw the look of shock on Changbin's sleepy face when he opened the door to see you holding take out.

"Y/N?" Chan came out from his room, confused.

"Hey Binnie, Channie." You held up the food, "Hungry?"

A small smile came to Chan's face.

You were eating your food when Chan's phone started ringing.

He looked at it and answered after a moment, "Yongbokkie.... Come over? I have a guest right now... Ah... I mean... Okay. See ya."

Chan looked at you, "Friend of mine is coming over."

Changbin looked up from his food, "Chan-"

"It's fine." You hummed.

What you hadn't expected or been exactly happy about was that the friend Chan had allowed over was that Felix guy you'd met at the store.

He wore a black hoodie and sweatpants, his long blonde hair still falling in his face, except now you noticed, he had freckles.

"Oh-" he smiled at you. "We meet again."

You pursed your lips. "Hi."

"You know each other?" Chan looked confused.

"I helped her out a while ago." Felix said dismissively.

Chan nodded slightly. "Uh- What do you want to do now-"

You stood, "I should really go."

Chan sucked in a breath, "Y/N. You just got here-"

Felix looked at you, finally able to put a name to your face, he noticed the dark clouds behind your gaze and looked down.

"I'll come by another day Chan." You grabbed your jacket and left before he could stop you.

What were the odds that guy knew Chan.. That Felix guy who made you feel weird... who followed you so closely when you'd met him. Weirdo. You thought.

You were minding your business and your phone rang.

"Baby.. I need to talk to you sweet girl. I miss you.. "

You hung up and threw your phone. You stared around frantically. Suddenly your apartment felt so unsafe.

You locked your bedroom door and grabbed your phone from the floor, blocking the number. How did he get your number?

You called Changbin but it went straight to voicemail.

You looked out your window and called Chan.

It only rang once before someone answered. The voice wasn't Chan's.

"Hello?" Felix's voice came through and you burst into tears.

"WHERE'S CHAN!?"

"He forgot his phone, he went out an hour ago- Are you crying- What's wrong?"

You hung up abruptly and called Changbin again.

An unknown number called your phone and you stared at it for a long moment.

You hesitantly answered and that voice again.

"Y/N. Come on. Y'know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose, it won't happen again. Tell me where you are, let's talk about it."

You bit your lip as you listened to Suhmin talk.

Chan's number called you again.

"Baby. Answer me, where are you right now?"

You stared at Chan's contact at the top of your screen... It wasn't Chan...

"Y/N! Don't make me ask again!"

You don't know why you did, but you hung up and answered Chan's number.

The deep voice that came from the other end comforted you..

"Y/N. Are you okay? Why were you crying?" Felix asked.

"4th floor, apartment 7, Dreamscape Flats, Straight Lane." You blurted, before muttering. "Please.."

Felix was quiet for a moment before saying, "I'm on the way."

When Felix got to your apartment and found the door unlocked, he was in full right to think something had happened. "Y/N!" He entered and looked around, your apartment was small and tidy.

Felix ran around looking for you before he heard your voice.

"I'm here."

He ran to the sound and tried to open the door, finding it locked. "Are you okay?"

You were standing in front of your door, "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I-" You closed your mouth.

"You?" Felix leaned against the door.

"I'm scared." You said softly.

Felix didn't ask why. He just sat outside your door on the floor of your apartment. You didn't say anything either, and just sat there on the other side.

"It's okay." Felix said quietly, leaning his head against the door.

"What?" You asked.

"It's okay to be scared." Felix said, "I get scared too."

"It's not like that."

"Big fear? Haunting fear?" Felix sighed, "I fear hurting people, losing people. It keeps me up at night. I get it."

Silence.

"Did Chan ever tell you the time he showed me how to play Uno?" he said after twenty minutes as if nothing was wrong.

"No."

"I didn't know how to play then, so when I had a draw two obviously i had to back it up with a draw four card."

You turned to listen better.

"So I was all like 'Pick two more.' and Channie said, 'Pick up four." and AHH.. I used my draw four. And Chan had a draw 4 as well. He was like 'Pick up... 12!' OHH I hated Uno for a good minute and a half." He laughed lightly.

You giggled.

Felix smiled as he heard your laugh.

The door to your apartment opened and Chan and Changbin stood in the doorway.

"Yongbokkie?" Chan looked confusedly at Felix.

The blonde man stood and knocked your bedroom door. "Chan and Changbin are here. I'm leaving."

You unlocked your door and smiled, "Thank you for coming.."

Felix smiled at you, "Anytime."

Chan and Changbin looked at each other with even more confused looks.

You looked at your friends. "Where were you guys?"

When you came around Chan's apartment, more often then not Felix was there. You learned several things about him then, Felix made amazing brownies, he was a living ray of sunshine, and he could imitate a mosquito, much to your annoyance.

Felix was in your apartment, buzzing to annoy you... just because...

"If you don't stop buzzing I'll swat you like a mosquito." You said, eyes narrowing.

Felix laughed and smiled. "I think that would hurt a lot, and I would not like it."

You rolled your eyes and slapped his hand gently.

He fell over faking death.

Your doorbell rang and Felix looked at you.

"I'm not expecting anyone else." You stood and went to open the door but something deep down told you no...

Your hand froze at the knob.

"Y/N." Suhmin's voice came through the door. "Who is that with you?"

You sucked in a breathe and stumbled back, "No-"

Felix moved to your side, "Who's there?"

You looked at his face, it held an expression you hadn't seen on him before, and one you hoped to never cause.

"I should ask you that." Suhmin's voice came again, "Why are you in my girlfriend's apartment?"

You shook your head, opened your mouth but no words came out.

Felix hesitantly touched your shoulder, You flinched in fear, eyes wide.

Felix smiled at you gently, "Get back."

And before you could stop him he opened the door. Kang Suhmin stood there glaring at Felix.

"Talk to me." Felix smiled.

Suhmin pushed past Felix and bull charged for you, shouting, "I get arrested and you start dragging other men into your place?!"

You flinched as he screamed at you.

"Huh? Answer m-" Suhmin was cut off as Felix grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him away from you, shoving him.

"Y'know I hate to be some to accuse others. But I think you're an abuser."

"You pretty faced punk." Suhmin raised his hand to hit Felix who just stood there, waiting.

"KANG SUHMIN!"

Suhmin jumped in fear.

Chan stood at the end of the hall of your apartment floor. "What do you think you're doing?!"

You collapsed to your knees and started hyperventilating.

Felix ran to you and shook you a bit. "Breathe."

Suhmin ran off as Chan ran down the hall.

"I shouldn't have- He's going t-"

"Nothing." Felix said. "He won't touch you..."

You looked at Felix for a long time.

He smiled gently, "Not while I'm here."

"I don't like going out.." You muttered.

Felix mad a face. "You have to try, plus the place I want to take you isn't crowded."

You reluctantly agreed to go. Felix hadn't lied, the park he'd taken you was almost empty, he led you to a big tree on a hill from there you could see everything in the park.

"I wanted to bring you because the sunset is beautiful here." Felix smiled, eyes scanning the park, "And because the ice cream here is good."

You laughed as Felix led you down the hill to the ice cream vendor.

Felix got strawberry and you got (flavor), you wondered around the park a bit, looking at the little ducks in the pond. Felix led you back up the hill as the sun set, you marveled at the pretty oranges and purples.

Felix smiled at you, taking in the beautiful astonished look on your face. "The stars look amazing from here too."

You looked at Felix, "How did you find out about this?"

"Chan and I used to explore a lot.." His eyes met yours, "Thought you'd like it."

"I do.." You looked up at the sky as the stars became visible. "Someone told me a while ago, the stars that shine the brightest are people who let go of fear. I wish I could be a star like them, fear nothing."

Felix watched tHe way you gripped the grass. He hesitantly put his hand on yours. "What exactly are you afraid of.."

You looked at him, "Hurting."

It was half past midnight, Felix was half asleep when you called him. He fumbled to answer and sat up, "What's wrong.."

"Can you come over.."

Felix looked at the time, "gimme 20 minutes."

Felix knocked on your door before his phone buzzed. He looked at the text you'd sent, "The key is under the mat."

He smiled slightly and unlocked the door, slipping the key back under the mat before entering and closing the door behind him. He walked around and came to your bedroom door, "Y/N..?"

"Come in."

Felix opened the door and saw you sitting there, in sweat pants and a big t-shirt. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.

You didn't answer for a long second before, you patted the bed beside you.

He sat beside you, looking at you.

"I... I had a nightmare." You whispered.

"About?" He tilted his head.

You hugged your pillow. "I- He-"

Felix smiled gently and wrapped his arms around you. "The guy who came here a while ago?"

You nodded, head resting against his chest, listening to the deep vibration of his voice.

Felix squeezed your shoulder gently. "He can't do anything to you. I won't let him." He rubbed your shoulder gently and after a moment you said quietly.

"It was 3 years ago, Suhmin and I were dating and he used to hurt me."

Felix didn't say anything.

"He never hit me, just... even if I didn't want to do it, he'd make me. And it would hurt."

Felix squeezed you and whispered, "And you stayed..?"

"Where was I supposed to go? He cut me off from everyone... he made me think it was normal." You went quiet.

Felix looked at you. "You don't have to say..."

"I told Chan. I hadn't seen him or any of the guys in months... And my friend Jisung confronted him. Suhmin attacked him."

Felix exhaled slowly.

"And Chan beat the crap out of him for it, and got him arrested. When he came the other day, I was so confused..."

"If he comes again, he's not getting far, I might beat the idea of a restraining order into him." Felix said quietly.

You looked up at him. "Stay."

Felix sucked in a breath.

"Please..?"

"Okay..."

Jisung bounced with Chan to your apartment, Chan unlocked the door and his brows furrowed, it was very, very quiet.

Chan opened the door to your bedroom and blinked in shock for a moment before smiling slightly.

JIsung was about to gasp loudly, but Chan covered his mouth and shook his head.

You were dead asleep, snuggled close to Felix who held you against him.

Slowly Chan closed the door and smiled at Jisung. "I guess we should go."

It was late into the morning when you finally woke up. Your brows furrowed as you felt someone hugging you. Then the memory slapped you in the face. You carefully pulled away from Felix and looked at his sleeping face, so calm and pretty.

You started moving to get out of bed when a deep voice (deeper than usual said, "You're awake.."

"I just woke up." You looked at Felix, his eyes were still closed.

"I woke up a while ago but I didn't want to disturb you. You looked like you needed the rest." He said, opening one eye and smiling sleepily.

You smiled, "Thank you."

Felix sat up, "I have to go see Chan later, you okay on your own?"

You looked at Felix and made a face.

He laughed slightly and got up to leave, you walked with him to the door and your eyes met.

He smiled gently, leaning in and kissing your cheek gently. "Call me if you need."

You felt your stomach jump and you heart fluttered. You nodded and ushered him out.

You sat on your couch and called Jisung, biting you nail.

"You're awake?"

"What-"

"Your angel faced lover boy with you?" He asked teasingly.

"YOU WERE IN MY APARTMENT??!"

"And Chan- we were going to take you out for breakfast but considering the situation, we decided against it."

You face went red and you said quietly, "I trust him Ji.. I trust him a lot."

You heard Chan's voice on the other end, "I would too!"

"AM I ON SPEAKER???!!"

Jisung cackled and you hung up, rolling your eyes.

You looked at the ceiling and smiled.

Felix sipped his juice and avoided Chan's eyes, fearing he might end up laughing.

Changbin stared him down slowly. "How did you do it?"

Felix finally looked up, "Do what?"

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, "You guy didn't- did you?"

"NO!" Felix looked back at his juice as the rest of the men laughed.

Minho nudged him gently. "Y/N hasn't interacted with guys outside of us very well at all since what happened."

"She didn't interact well with me in the beginning but I couldn't judge her without understanding." Felix said spinning his straw.

Chan smiled, "I trust you Yongbokkie."

Felix smiled at his friend.

Jeongin smiled at Felix, "and if Suhmin appears beat the crap out of him."

"Since when did you condone violence??!" Hyunjin shrieked.

"Since he hurt her." Jeongin said matter-of-factly.

Jisung shook his head, "Yongbok... as long as she's happy."

Felix thought about what you'd told him, normal.. to be in pain like that.. He exhaled slowly.

Felix was sitting on your couch, your head rested on his lap as you slept. He smiled and stroked your hair, his eyes flicked to your phone as he heard your ring tone and he carefully grabbed it from beside you.

Unknown Number.

He answered.

"Sweetie. Can we talk? I'm sorry. That guy in your house, who was he that day? I won't get mad... Hello? Y/N?"

"Ah." Felix said.

The man on the other end of the line went quiet.

"She's sleeping. Don't call her again, it doesn't take that much to put someone back in jail for abuse."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Depends on how you take it." Felix said, he looked down at you and smiled.

"So what? You're her new boyfriend?"

"Is that a problem..?" Felix asked, eyes narrowing.

Suhmin laughed on the other end of the line. "Me and Y/N never broke up. You should leave before I get there."

"I found a vacant place in her heart, I wanted it, I took it. Come get me if you want. I'm waiting."

"Y-"

Felix hung up and smiled gently at you.

"Who were you talking to...?" You asked sleepily.

"No one important."

You were about to leave your house to go to Jisung's, Felix was coming to get you.. You opened the door and flinched, Suhmin stood there looking at you, "Sweetie." He reached for you but you stepped back.

"Don't touch me."

His eyes narrowed. "Y'know someone told me that you told them I was manipulating you. You ran around telling people that?"

"Suhmin no-" You took another step back.

"Are you scared of me? What? You think I'm going to hurt you? I told you it wasn't on purpose-"

"Leave."

"Y/n."

"Get out." He walked into your apartment and you shook your head. "Leave!"

He reached for you and you cowered out of his reach. His brows knit together in anger. "Really? Is that the idea you have in your head? That I'm hurting you?!" He grabbed your arm roughly. "Huh?! Where's that boyfriend of yours?! All talk on the phone! WHERE IS HE!?"

You flinched.

"If you touch her," There was so much venom lacing the voice you looked up in fear. "I'm going to kill you."

Suhmin let go of you and turned to face Felix.

You stumbled back and started hyperventilating.

Felix's eyes narrowed at Suhmin. "Try me."

Suhmin stiffened.

"Get the fuck out."

Suhmin turned to you, then looked at Felix before huffing and running out.

Felix ran to you and grabbed your hands. "hey... hey.." He took your face gently in his hands. "It's me. Breathe."

You nodded and started taking deep breaths.

"Good.." Felix smiled gently, "Did he hurt you?"

You shook your head and swallowed.

Felix released you and looked at his lap. "I'm so sorry.."

"You didn-"

"I provoked him, I'm so, so, so sorry.." Felix didn't look at you.

You grabbed his face and made him look at you, "You didn't do anything wrong..."

"You could've gotten hurt."

"Am I though?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Then why are you sulking..." You gave him a small smile, "You saved me."

Felix stared into your eyes.

You felt the heat rushing to your cheeks.

He leaned close, his hand gently caressing your cheek as he moved closer, breath mingling with yours as he breathed. "Can I kiss you?"

You nodded and he pressed his lips against yours. You blushed deeply as he pulled away.

"I don't know who taught him anything, but love isn't supposed to hurt... Let me show you?"

You stomach did a flip and you stuttered. "I- Y- No- But- I c-can't."

Felix tilted his head and smiled, "A smart woman told me not too long ago 'the stars that shine the brightest are people who let go of fear', I wonder when she'll join them.."

You looked into his eyes, "I.."

"We can stop if it's too much or if it hurts..." he said quietly, "If you'll let me."

When he kissed you this time, you gasped softly as his hand slipped around your waist, drawing you closer. He took the opportunity to push his tongue into you mouth, your tongues clashed fr a brief moment before he squeezed you, smirking against your lips as you whimpered. He pulled away and whispered, "This all for me, sunshine?"

You looked away face flushed.

"Oh, don't hide baby," He turned your head to face him and kissed you again, "I'm going to go slow."

He'd placed you gently on the bed and gotten on top of you, just admiring you for the longest time.

You avoided his gaze.

"Are you nervous?" He laughed lightly.

You nodded. "It's been a bit."

"I'm nervous too.. But I've got you, sunshine." He leaned down and kissed you, his mouth moving to your jaw before going lower to your neck. Hands moving beneath your shirt.

You gasped softly as his tongue drifted across your collar and his dark eyes met yours, "Can I take it off?"

You nodded and he pulled your shirt off, carefully removing your bra and whispering, "So pretty."

You blushed and he kissed your chest, he moved and sucked your right nipple between his lips, pinching the left gently. He groaned softly at the soft moans that left your lips before he pulled back, "So sensitive... It's cute."

You looked away and he chuckled kissing down your belly and pausing at the waistband of your pants. He looked up at you for permission and you nodded slowly.

He pulled you pants off slowly and exhaled slowly as he removed your pantie. "This is mine, for me.." he breathed a laugh and grabbed your hips, dragging you towards him.

You squealed, "Oh god-"

He looked up at you, his pupils blown, angelic face looking at you with an expression that read desire and affection... you hid your face.

He laughed and rested his head on your thigh, soft blonde hair, draping over your skin. "Look at me."

You looked down at the blonde haired man and swallowed.

He kissed your thigh gently and pulled his shirt off, before moving before moving between your thighs and kissing your clit gently.

"Felix ple-" You moaned as he licked your clit, the stimulation zipping down your spine before he sucked it into his mouth.

You jerked and grabbed his hair, he groaned into you as you pulled. "Greedy." He muttered, gripping your thighs and drawing you into his mouth, you moaned and whined.

You squirmed and jerked, letting out an embarrassingly loud moan as he slipped a finger into you.

He laughed lightly and continued his ministrations, his thumb making a figure 8 on your clit as he applied just enough pressure. You squealed as he pushed in another finger, covering your face in embarrassment as he moved back over you, middle and ring finger pumping slowly as he took to grinding his palm on you.

"Who said you could hide? Look at me honey.." His voice was deeper and huskier with lust.

You looked up at him and your heart fluttered.

"Is it too much?" he whispered.

"N-No.."

He smirked and raised a brow. "So it's not enough?"

You tried to protest but his fingers moved faster, pushing in deeper, you let out a guttural moan as he found your g-spot and assaulted it with his fingers.

"Are you close?" He asked, looking down into your eyes.

You nodded and moaned.

"Use your words..."

"Yes, Felix, please!"

He groaned, and started rubbing your clit. "Good girl."

You felt the knot in your abdomen snap and your vision went white for a moment, body stiffening and mouth falling open in a silent scream.

You whimpered as you came down from your high. Felix cooed softly, "Did so well, so pretty when you cum..."

You watched as Felix took off his pants and boxers, his length slapped against his abdomen and you stared at him for a moment.

He looked at you, "We don't have to-"

"I want to." You whispered.

Felix's eyes darkened and he got onto the bed and caged you in. His eyes raked over your body before they met yours and he kissed you gently, positioning himself at your entrance and pushing in slowly.

You moan softly and hold onto him tightly, his blonde hair fell around his face, he groaned deeply as he began moving slowly. It was a burning sensation you were familiar with, but the burn felt good... the slow, gentle drag of his hips as he kissed your neck and shoulder.

You moaned softly as he continued thrusting into you slowly. His mouth moved to find yours, swallowing your quiet cries.

He pulled away panting, pressing his forehead against yours. "I'm going to cum.."

You moaned and whispered, "Not inside..."

Felix groaned and threw his head back, forcing himself to pull out before he came inside. He jerked himself a few times and let out a strangled whine as he came on your stomach.

He kissed you gently and went to your bathroom, getting a cloth to clean you with. You relaxed as he pulled you close.

"I didn't hurt you right?"

"No.." you said quietly.

"Good." He breathed. "I love you.."

You gave him a soft smile and pressed closer. "i love you too.."

Tags

@juskz

#gia's fic recs 💗 #Felix 🐣

[innieandsungielover]

THIS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!

Want So Bad

This was requested by @mamnaimiefrankie, and so I really hope you enjoy!

Summary: Jisung, Minho, and Hyunjin were hanging out. Upon getting some munchies, Jisung asked Minho if he could eat some gummy candy that he had been aware his friend had, and Minho said yes. However, someone forgot to read a label...

Pairings: Han Jisung X Reader (F!)

Genre: Humor (I mean come on, Paboracha is involved, of COURSE there's gonna be humor), Smut (MDNI), fluff at the end

Warnings: Use of aphrodisiacs, mention of cunnilingus, grinding, pet names, Switch! Jisung (man is whiny, needy, and begs a LOT), Switch! Reader, dirty talk, oral (m! receiving), overstimulation, unprotected penetrative sex, cream pie, bunny fucking, scratching, 100% 18+ (seriously like if you're a minor don't read pls and thank you <3)

Word Count: 4.1K

Saturdays were always something that Jisung looked forward to. Sure, he loved being with you, as you two had been together for almost 2 years now, but he also loved spending time with his friends. Specifically, Minho and Hyunjin. And every Saturday, while you worked your shift at the nearby bakery, Jisung would hang out with Minho and Hyunjin.

These hang outs could be anything from watching movies, to playing board games or video games, to having deep conversations about the stresses of work and being idols, to being on the floor laughing about literally anything. It was fun for them, and they always looked forward to it.

Today wasn't any different.

The three men decided to meet at Minho's house, as his girlfriend was gonna be gone over the weekend to visit her parents. That meant they had access to the Nintendo Switch. And that meant they could play Mario Kart. A game they all liked, but only one was good at.

"JISUNG, NO FAIR!" Hyunjin whined, watching as Shy Guy passed the finish line in first. Jisung could only laugh as he watched Hyunjin and Minho struggle through the computers they were playing against, constantly running into bananas or being hit by shells. "You really can't take it easy on us ONE time?!"

"Where's the fun in taking it easy when I can wipe the floor with both of you?" Jisung laughed, watching Minho finally pass the finish line in fourth with Tanuki Mario. Hyunjin finished soon after in seventh with Princess Peach, practically throwing his controller down on the sofa.

"I think you play this game too much." Minho said, crossing his arms. Jisung could only shrug, standing up and stretching as the final results played. Jisung got first in the Grand Prix, while Minho got 5th and Hyunjin got 8th. "Find another hobby."

"No can do, sorry." Jisung said, watching Minho roll his eyes.

"Whatever." Minho said, looking to Hyunjin. "Let's do a round with just you and I, Hyunjin."

"Okay. I'm down for that." And with that, Hyunjin and Minho started a two-player race. And as they did that, Jisung walked over to the kitchen, looking for something to snack on. After all, he hadn't eaten much that day, and he knew that he should eat something. Otherwise, he'd get an earful from you.

And so, into the snack closet he went. He always knew Minho was stocked and really didn't care about what he ate from his stash, so long as it wasn't any of his girlfriend's food (which had all been labelled after the Changbin incident 3 years ago). And sure enough, when Jisung opened the door, the closet was filled.

Candies, chips, pretzels...you name the snack, it was in there. But the thing that caught Jisung's eye was the gummy hearts up on the top shelf. They didn't have Minho's girlfriend's sticker on them, which meant free grabs. And so, Jisung took a good handful from the bag, before closing the closet and going back to the couch.

"Jisung, how do you drift again?" Hyunjin called out. Jisung quickly threw some of the gummies into his mouth, chewing and swallowing as he sat back down onto the couch.

"It's the right trigger." Jisung said, watching Hyunjin do so. And then he spun out of control. Jisung laughed as Hyunjin freaked out.

"You liar!"

||

Finally, after a nice hang out with the boys, Jisung had said his goodbyes and made his way back to the apartment. He loved hanging out with them, but he also wanted to actually be home when you got home. He always felt bad that he'd return so late after you've gone to bed, and tonight he wanted to see you awake.

But...it was when he stepped inside of the apartment when he noticed how weird he felt.

The first thing he noticed was how hot it was. At first, he thought it was the apartment, which would've been weird since the both of you loved keeping the apartment cool for wearing hoodies. But when he went to the thermostat, it read 68°. Right where it always was.

And upon walking back to the living room, he noticed how fuzzy his head was. He wasn't dizzy, just...he couldn't focus on anything. His body felt like it was in the clouds, too. Not just his mind. That's when he noticed that it was him that was also feeling hot.

Okay...weird, but whatever. He could ride it out, and he'd be fine. Right? R-Right?

Well, that's when he noticed just how much his shirt was grazing his nipples. He...never noticed that before. Every movement caused the shirt to graze oh, so lightly against them, and it made Jisung's breath hitch. That wasn't the only thing. He felt like his pants were really tight. Really, really tight. And that never happened unless...

Oh...

Oh...

He had a boner. A really, really bad boner. He could see it through his jeans, and he could never see his boners from his jeans before. And that made him concerned. Not to mention how much it just...hurt.

He was hot, sensitive, hard...he couldn't think straight... what the hell was going on with him?

His first thought wasn't about figuring this out, though. No, it was about getting his damn pants off. They were just too tight, his dick was so sensitive and hard that if he kept those jeans on any longer, he might cry. And so, he did exactly that. And the sight afterwards of the hard-on in his boxers?

Oh, it was just worse.

Jisung just groaned, leaning back against the sofa as he ran a hand through his hair, squirming. This was so bad, he needed to fix this issue before you got home, he'd die if you saw him this hard and horny. It would just be straight up embarrassing--

But all of his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

Fuck.

Jisung's head whipped around to the door, his face flushed as you walked into the apartment, setting your bag down. And the second you looked over at him in your outfit you decided to wear to work? Oh, it just made him whine. God, this was so embarrassing...He didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, you spoke up first, still not noticing the issue at hand here.

"Oh, you're home? I thought you were planning on staying over at Minho's for a lot longer." Just the sound of your sweet and smooth voice washed over Jisung, making his cock twitch. God, you sounded so heavenly, he just wanted to hear you moaning his name, screaming out from how good his cock felt when he--

Immediately, he got that thought out of his head.

"I-I just wanted to surprise you, my baby..." Fuck, why did he have to stutter? He never stuttered; you knew he never stuttered. And so, he winced as you walked over to him with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh? And you wanna tell me why you just stuttered?" You asked. You didn't sound mad, just curious. But Jisung didn't have to say anything to you, because it didn't take your eyes long to notice the large tent in his pants. And immediately, your eyes widened. "Oh, Jisung, what--"

"I-I don't know, okay? I've been feeling really, really weird and-and I don't know why, I just walked through the door and immediately I just got horny, and hot, and hard, and I don't know what to do or why I'm like this, and-"

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down." You said, kneeling down to look at him. Your eyes were so warm and comforting, they always felt like home to Jisung. It was nice, and always got him to calm down no matter what.

"Sorry..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? Do you want me to call Minho and see what's going on?" You offered. "Knowing him and Yejin, they'd know what's up with you."

"Ye-Yeah, okay..." Jisung said. It made sense. After all, he knew that Minho and Yejin were a freaky couple. They've tried everything under the sun, and had sex all the time. So if anyone would know, it'd be them.

And so, that's what you did. You dialed Minho's number, waiting for him to answer. And he picked up after the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Minho." You greeted, hearing his audible sigh on the other end of the line, as well as a moan.

"Okay, what did I do this time? And can it please hurry, I'm in the middle of something." Minho grumbled.

"I'm sure you can spare getting your dick wet for 5 seconds so you can tell me what's wrong with my significant other."

"What do you mean? Is he dying or something?"

"No, but he's hornier than a dog in heat."

"Well, that's probably because he thinks you're hot. Can I get back to going down on my girlfriend now--"

"No, because he doesn't get that horny when it's just me. He's literally panting and is non-stop squirming."

"Oh. OOOHHH--"

"What, oh?"

"Shit, I knew we didn't use that many!" Minho waited a second, getting a question from Yejin. You couldn't quite make it out, but you definitely heard the response. "Well duh, we literally just bought those gummies a few days ago!"

"The gummies? What gummies?" You asked.

"The gummies?" Jisung also asked, feeling his heart drop.

"Yeah, so, Yejin and I invested in some aphrodisiac gummies a few days ago. They look like hearts, kinda coated in some sugar, they're actually pretty damn good. But you shouldn't eat like, more than 5, I think."

"Did you eat heart shaped gummies covered in sugar?" You asked Jisung, watching him go pale at the question. And his lack of an answer gave you all of the information you needed to know. "Jisung!"

"I was hungry, okay! And they were in the snack closet, so I thought they were good!" Jisung whined.

"Why the hell would aphrodisiac gummies be kept in a fucking snack closet?!"

"I didn't know where else to put them, so I put them in the top of the shelf." And that resulted in Minho getting an earful from Yejin. You could only roll your eyes, hanging the call up.

"Okay, so you ate a few laced gummies that will make you horny. That's fine." You said, going back over to Jisung, giving him a small smile.

"I-I'm sorry, my baby, I-I should've read the packaging, I-"

"Jisung, it's fine. Really, it's not like we haven't fucked before, right?" You asked him, going to straddle his lap. Jisung immediately blushed, seeing you on top of him. It was a beautiful sight, one of his favorites. But in this situation?

"Wa-Wait, I don't know about this...I don't think I can control myself, baby." Jisung told you. "I-I don't wanna end up hurting you or anything..."

"Then let me be the one to help you, okay?" You told him, kissing his cheek. That's when you lowered yourself over his boxers, your shorts grazing against his boner deliciously. Jisung let out a pathetic moan, throwing his head back at the feeling. "Can I help you out, Sungie?"

"God...please, baby..." As Jisung spoke, he bucked his hips up against yours, moaning at the feeling of grinding up against you. And with that, you smiled, pulling him into a kiss.

The two of you grinded against each other as you made out, Jisung moaning out like he hadn't been touched in his life. The kiss you both shared was messy and sloppy, but Jisung loved it like that. And so did you. And his tongue immediately went to exploring your mouth, only making the kiss sloppier.

But before long, Jisung pulled away, getting louder. It was an indicator that he was getting close already. You immediately slowed down, watching his brow furrow and his jaw hang open. You knew that look. But when you heard the displeased whine of you slowing down, you were shocked.

"N-No, gunna--please, baby, lemme cum..." Jisung whined, looking up at you. God, his pouty lips, the way his eyes begged you for that sweet release...You couldn't help it.

"Fuck, baby..." You groaned, sliding off of Jisung. You immediately took your shirt off, as well as your bra before slipping his boxers down, seeing his angry cock spring up and slap his stomach, leaking precum.

You didn't even stop to admire him like you usually did, you immediately gripped him and put his tip into your mouth, sucking. You let your spit leak from the sides of your mouth, making it as wet as possible. And Jisung immediately wailed, bucking his hips up at the feeling.

"Hoooly fucking shit! Oh, please, just like that baby...I...I'm gonna fucking blow, oh my god! Keep--Keep going, please!" Jisung moaned out, closing his eyes and clenching his thighs. God, your mouth always felt so damn good to him, he could never get enough of it.

And sure enough, he came a few seconds later.

"Cu-Cumming! I'm cumming, oh...fuck, keep--keep me in, baby!" Jisung cried out, holding your head down on him. You did as told, staying put as he shot his seed into your mouth. And once you were sure he was finished, you slowly lifted up and off of him, swallowing his load. And that got a low groan out of him. "Holy shit, baby...you're so hot..."

You just giggled, moving back up to him and pecking his lips. Jisung could only whine though, still feeling weird. And you were quick to notice. Your eyes immediately grew concerned, looking down to see that he was still hard.

"How...what?" You questioned. His cock was practically inflating like a balloon, ready to go again within a few seconds. Your gaze went back to Jisung, who was already starting to softly whine again. "How many of those gummies did you eat?"

"I-I don't know, maybe like, 13?" Jisung guessed, making your eyes widen.

"Minho said that the recommended dosage was only 5..." You trailed, looking back down at Jisung's cock. Once again, it was leaking precum with an angry red tip. And once you heard Jisung whine again, you let out a huff. And upon seeing your determined face, Jisung immediately whined again, his cock twitching. He knew that look.

"Baby, y-you've done enough, you don't have to--"

"No, I do." You said, standing up. And once your gaze hit Jisung, that determined and frustrated glint in your eyes, he immediately whimpered. "Lay down."

"B-But I don't wanna lose it and hurt--"

"Lay. Down. And don't make me repeat myself, Jisung." You told him.

Your voice was stern, and God, Jisung loved when you got like this with him. When you took charge in the bedroom, it was the hottest thing. The way your face would get so determined, so confident...shit, Jisung could get a boner just thinking about it if he didn't already have one.

And so, Jisung did as told, going and laying down on the couch. As he did that, you pulled your shorts and panties down before walking back over to Jisung and straddling him again, bringing a hand up to your face and spitting in it before grabbing Jisung's dick and covering it. And then, you lined it up with your entrance while Jisung waited in anticipation.

And the feeling of you sinking down on his cock as slow as you were taking it make Jisung let out the filthiest, most scrumptious moan. And once he was fully sheathed, you rolled your hips, Jisung's jaw opening in a silent moan, his breath stopping. Before he knew it, you were bouncing on him, doing your best to get a nice pace for the both of you.

"Holy...baby, you-you're so tight, this is...I-I don't--this is too much!" Jisung whined, his hands going to your hips. Moans left the both of you as you rode him, your eyes focused on his, as well as where the two of you were connected. You were bound and determined to get him to cum again. You wanted him to feel relief.

"Feel good, baby?"

"Fuck, yes! Baby, please, more, can-can you move more?" Jisung looked up at you, panting as you tried your best to move quicker. However, there was the single inevitable fact both of you knew.

You weren't the best with riding Jisung.

Sure, Jisung loved when you were on top of him, and you loved it too. However, you could only bounce so fast before it felt like your legs were gonna give out. And so, when Jisung was in the right mindset, he'd brace you before fucking up into you, which always felt incredible. But that sadly wasn't the case.

"Ji, I can only move so-fuck...so much, baby...I can hit deeper, but--"

"Do that! Please, just give me anything, m'close!" Jisung whined. And so, that's what you did.

You slowed your pace by a lot, but you lifted yourself almost completely off of him before letting yourself drop back down on him, causing both of you to cry out. After a small grind on his hips, you repeated, doing the same thing, except going a little faster.

"Fuck, just like that, baby...holy-m'gonna cum! Keep going, don't-don't stop!" Jisung wailed, gripping your hips tightly. And so, you did exactly that, moaning out as you continued to lift yourself up and drop down. And before you knew it, Jisung let out a sob, slamming his hips up into you, causing you both to cum at the same time.

"Shit shit shit, Jisung!" You cried, your front collapsing a bit. You were able to catch yourself on his chest, feeling his hips jut up into you as you ground yourself down onto him. You were panting now, trying to collect yourself as Jisung tried to calm himself down as well.

But you missed the fact that Jisung's cock wasn't softening inside of you. And you also missed the dark, lustful glint in Jisung's eyes.

"Holy...wow, that was something-ELSE!" You squealed.

You didn't even have time to realize what had happened, as Jisung had managed to muster up the strength to pick you up and flip both of you around. Now he was on top of you, both of your legs on his shoulders as he practically folded you in half. His face was inches from yours, his mouth hanging open as he slipped inside of you again, somehow hitting deeper.

And the second he managed to just kiss your cervix, he began to thrust mercilessly into you. He fucked into you so fast, his mouth near your ear as panting moans left Jisung as you let out cries. Both of his elbows were on either side of your head, his hands cradling you and holding you close to him as he pounded you.

"Fuck fuck fuck, you feel so fuckin' good, so tight and wet, I-I can't take it, baby...god, you're pussy's talkin' to me, I can hear it while you suck my cock back into you..." Jisung growled, before humming so lowly it practically shook your core. Every time his hips slammed into yours, his pitch would bump up for a second, before going back down. And that low hum was what got you to cum for a second time.

"Jisung, I'm cumming!" You cried out, gripping onto him. Your nails dug into his skin as you clung onto him for dear life. His pace never slowed as your body trembled, hell, he probably went faster at that.

"Hell yeah, you are...fuck, you're creamin' me, baby...god!" Jisung growled. He could feel your juices dripping onto his cock and down his leg as well as yours. And he could hear your cunt squelching. "Cum again--cream on my cock, make it messy...just how I like it, baby..."

And that's exactly what you did. You moaned out at his words, feeling your third orgasm rip through your soul. If there was anything that was gonna do you in, it was the combination of Jisung practically fucking into you like a rabbit, his hips unfaltering, and his fucking voice.

"Good girl, such a good girl for me..." Jisung growled into your ear. Of course, he continued his merciless pace. And due to you having gone through your third orgasm, you were sent right into overstimulation, meaning it wouldn't take you long to hit your fourth.

"J-Jisung, I-I can't...s'too much, I can't--"

"You can, baby...do it for me, you're takin' me so well, just a bit longer..." Jisung wasn't gonna take no for an answer. To make things even worse (not really), he quickly brought his hand up to his face, licked his fingers, and slipped it in between your bodies, only to start rubbing tight circles around your clit, which sent you reeling. You practically let out a sob, scratching Jisung's back harshly.

"JISUNG!" And without any warning, your fourth orgasm shot through you, making you wail. Feeling you hit your fourth orgasm is also what did Jisung in.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, baby...m'gonna fill you so much, m'gonna stuff you so full..." Jisung mumbled, his rhythm getting sloppier. You just wailed, just getting over that fourth orgasm, feeling that fifth one approaching quickly. "Fuck! I'm cumming!"

And with that, Jisung slammed his hips into you one last time, painting your walls white with his seed as you also hit your last orgasm of the night, your entire body shaking viciously from it. You felt like you had practically ascended, seeing god for the nth time.

Jisung slowly pulled out after that, finally feeling satisfied after that, and went to grab the cum towel you both kept in the bedroom. As he left, you continued to tremble, feeling aftershocks from your orgasms. And once Jisung came back, already cleaned up and in sweatpants, he immediately went over to you, kneeling next to your head and peppered your face in kisses.

"Good job, baby...you took me like a champ, you did so well, my baby..." Jisung said gently. His small kisses didn't stop once, making sure that you actually came down from your high before cleaning you up. And once you did, you let out a small giggle, letting Jisung know that you were back. "There she is..."

"Stop it, it's not like I blacked out." You said. Jisung pecked your lips, caressing your face for a second, just admiring you and your features.

"I know, but you definitely weren't here." Jisung told you, going over and wiping you down. He was nice and gentle, making sure he didn't accidentally make you uncomfortable.

"I scratched you, didn't I?" You asked, giving him a slightly concerned look as he continued to clean you up.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it." Jisung told you, giving you a smile as he kissed your thigh.

"You sure?"

"Mhm. Trust me, it didn't hurt, and if they stay, then it means that I get to show off how good I can make my baby feel, right?" Jisung asked, making you blush. Of course he'd wear those scratch marks around like a trophy. He'd do that with any marks you left on his body.

"Do you have to put it like that?"

"Of course I do!" And with that, he got back to work. Once you were clean, he left once more to put the towel away.

When he came back again, he had a pair of clean clothes for you. Kind of. It was a shirt of his that would be way too big (not that either of you minded) and a pair of panties.

He sat you up, kissing your cheek three more times before sliding his shirt over your head. And then, he slipped the pair of panties on your legs, getting them as high as possible before stopping and setting your arms around his neck.

"Alright, and... up!" Jisung said, standing up. Since your arms were around him, you stood up too, and he quickly slid the panties the rest of the way up. And finally, once you were fully dressed, he readjusted the two of you slightly before picking you up, making you squeal.

"Jisung!" You held onto him tightly as Jisung walked you to the bedroom, laughing at your reaction.

"What? I'm just taking care of my baby." Jisung told you, pressing yet another kiss to your cheek.

"But I can walk myself!"

"See, you say that, but we both know you're legs are gonna be the equivalent of Jello."

"Jisung!"

"You know I'm right!"

And with that, he gently set you on the bed, getting you underneath the covers. And after he quickly turned off the lights, he went to join you, pulling you close to him and holding you in his arms. Every here and there, he'd place gentle kisses on your head, admiring you with him. Neither of you could stop smiling either, just enjoying everything in this moment.

"I really love you; you know that. Right?" Jisung finally said, watching you nod.

"Mhm." You replied, tilting your head up before kissing his lips gently.

"And I love you."

#gia's fic recs 💗 #Han 🐹

[innieandsungielover]

How did I just find this?!?!? This was so stinking cute, I loved it and I want to eat him.

Not Friends - HJS - OneShot

(i've had the above gif for so long, i have no idea who the creator is. credit to them and if they see this and wish me to take it down, please let me know. i thought the effects of the banner were pretty cool)

pairing: jisung x female reader

genre: angst, coming of age, fluff, romance, friendships

romantic trope: boy next door (inspiration from this reel)

word count: ~8k

rating: T

warnings: language, kissing, arguing, mostly the trials of middle and high school, drinking underage (nothing too excessive), sneaking out, abandoned places, mc is stubborn af

there is mention briefly toward the end of something that might be triggering, it is not praised or belabored. it's something characters disagree with, i'm choosing not to list it as it is a bit of a spoiler. if you are concerned, please message me off anon and i will let you know what it is.

a/n: fic #3 in skz as romantic tropes collab with @jl-micasea-fics. i have to admit, this is kinda a weird one. not really sure what people will think. however, it seems hella fitting to post jisung's story after getting so much of him lately (the song '13' is beautiful) and his curly long hair might be my death. hugs to you readers, you have been so lovely.

----------

There isn’t a time where you don’t remember Han Jisung being there. He’s always just there. 

His family moved into the house next door when you were only a year old (so you’ve been told, it’s not like you have any memories of that time) and he was a year old. Your moms started talking over the small fence that lay between your two backyards, so somewhere in your infantile mind, there is an image of one chubby-cheeked Jisung, probably falling over from his seated position then crying loudly because his balance was always circumspect, especially during the dreaded middle school years.

So when in school, someone asked if you knew Han Jisung, you said yes. 

Friends?

No. Not friends.

Boyfriend?

No, ew. He’s just the boy next door.

Yes, you hung out with him when you were both infants and toddlers. When school started, you were sometimes in the same class, but not always. He tended to keep to himself during recess and you had enough trouble trying to find friends who were interested in the same things you were. 

Namely, vampires.

Perhaps expecting other six and seven year olds to be as fascinated by vampires was asking a bit too much. But you were listening to Dracula, a radio performance, at six years old (begs the question of why your parents didn’t do anything, but they weren’t around at that very moment) so why weren’t other kids interested?

Well, they weren’t. 

Maybe your parents thought you’d grow out of it. Most kids grow out of things; horses, wanting to be a fireman, superheroes, etc. 

So many times that your parents tried offering you Barbies and My Little Ponies, on which you painted fangs and blood on.

But you don’t grow out of it. And no one grows into it.

Jisung himself seems to integrate okay into middle school. He finds Felix and Seungmin, and the three of them pal around, playing video games and probably other things that you were and are unaware of.

“You’re going to join the dance team?”

You’re in your backyard, attempting to weed the garden because if you do, your mother might not get as mad about you failing your math test. Jisung comes out to let out his dog, Bbama, and the two of you, though again not friends, aren’t unfriendly; so you chat. 

“Felix wants to,” Jisung explains as Bbama comes to the fence to press his nose to your waiting fingers. “And well, he likes when we do things all together.”

You eye him with skepticism. “Can you dance?”

You’re both newly turned thirteen and puberty is a bitch. Jisung is all limbs, and you’re sure you resemble an egg in physique and color. 

“No. But they aren’t expecting Lord of the Dance or anything.”

Jisung getting sassy with you isn’t new. Though quiet a lot of the time, when it’s only the two of you, he seems to be braver. 

“They want us to do extracurriculars, you know, to get ready for high school.”

“Yeah?”

“So, what about you?”

“What about me?” What you just pulled up out of the ground is definitely not a weed, so you plop it back in and cover it up with dirt. Hopefully, your mom won’t notice. 

“You should join the dance team too!”

You look up at him before watching Bbama run in circles behind him. “No.”

“Maybe robotics?”

“No way.”

“Art club?”

“Jisung, you’ve seen my stick figures.”

“What are you going to do then?”

“What I want to do doesn’t have a club or team, okay?”

You can hear his soft sigh as you dig out an actual weed this time. 

“Vampires?”

You bristle at the implications. “I’m just…” You huff and sit back in your kneeled position. “There are too many accounts for it to be fiction, okay?”

“But what do you do with that?” He asks just as softly. “I mean, if they are real, they want to drink your blood and kill you. So like…you should avoid.”

“Do they? Or is that just Dracula and other novels telling us that?”

He points out a weed you’ve missed. You grumble, but grab and pull. 

“Kids at school–”

“I don’t care what kids at school say or think, Jisung.” 

“Yes, you do. We all do.” He swallows. “You think it doesn’t hurt when they make fun of my braces or glasses, or the fact that I can’t walk without running into something?”

You wince. Jisung isn’t a friend, but he’s familiar. He’s annoying as most boys are, but he isn’t mean. Not usually. You and he have had fights over the years, but most were when you were little and toys were involved. 

“You shouldn’t care what they think.”

“But I do.” 

“That’s why you’re joining the dance team, and I’m going to work on the ultimate vampire hunter kit.”

“Where are you going to get holy water?”

“Amazon.”

He sighs again, calling Bbama to go back inside. “I’m joining the team because Felix is my friend and it matters to him. That’s what friends do.” When he stops at the back door, he calls back. “Seungmin is really good at math if you need help for the next test.”

You don’t answer, not for the first time considering how you don’t have friends. There are some kids you sit with at lunch, but they mostly congregate together because there is strength in numbers, not because there’s any common interests or amiability. 

–

~Ninth grade~

You wonder if maybe you should have tried out for softball or something because each pebble you throw at Jisung’s window actually hits 75% of the time. Who knew you had great aim?

The window opens and he looks down and you can see more than hear his heavy sigh.

“Why don’t you just message me?”

“I don’t have your number.” Why would you?

There’s another heavy sigh and he disappears into his room after closing the window. Your cell phone vibrates in your back pocket. You pull it out.

>> now you have it.

<< can i borrow your car?

>> what?

The back door opens and he comes out in pajama pants and a huge sweatshirt. He’s shoved on his glasses and his hair is tufted in chunks. 

Was he really asleep at 11pm?

“You wanna borrow my truck?”

You nod, tugging on your scarf, a bit too tightly wrapped. “I’ll be careful. It’ll be back in the driveway by the time you wake up in the morning. I could probably hotwire it if I studied for a bit, but I figure, I could just ask.”

He runs a hand through his hair, eyes unfocused. “Why?”

“I don’t have a car.” Your parents don’t think you’re responsible enough to have a car. Something about still living in fantasy, blah blah blah. 

“I know…” He looks both annoyed and amused at the same time. “Why do you need it tonight?”

“Oh. I need to check out a place. There’s been rumor of vampiric activity.”

He actually takes a step back. “You’re going vampire hunting. Tonight. In my truck.”

“Yes.” I hold out my hand. “If you’ll give me your keys.”

“Do you even have your permit yet?”

You drop your arm. “No, but I’ve practiced.”

He turns and stares at his house. 

“So…Jisung…is that a no?”

“If I say no, will you hotwire it?”

“I mean, maybe.”

There’s a lot of muttered curses before he turns back around. “Yes, but I’m going with you. I’m driving.”

“What? No. No way.”

He walks right up, a foot away from me. “You let me go, drive, and you come to see the dance team at halftime; or you’re shit out of luck, Van Helsing.” 

You open your mouth to tell him where he can stick it, but then don’t. You actually need his vehicle. The area that online people have had sightings and encounters is only an hour away and this was the only night that your parents had wine before dinner which would definitely keep them so deeply asleep that you can get away with a nightly venture. 

And maybe it would be fun to watch Jisung, Seungmin and Felix perform. Not that you’d ever admit that.

“Yeah. Okay. But you have to do what I say, okay?”

He nods. “Give me like five.”

An hour and a half later, he shifts next to you as you hold a position in a cluster of trees. “Like…I don’t think they’re here.”

“Shh,” you hush him, half-heartedly hitting his arm. “They don’t billboard-announce it.” You move quickly and as quietly as you can toward the old abandoned cabin.

“Pretty sure it’s just serial killers who do that.”

You spin around to glare at him, but he’s grinning at you. You’re irked, but you can’t help but smile. It’s a little fun to have someone with you.

“Are we really going in there?”

You hand him a flask and move again to another gathering of foliage. 

“Are we drinking?” he whispers once he’s followed successfully. He’s still skinny as a rail, but still provides a little warmth at your back. 

“No, you dummy, it’s got holy water. It’s to protect yourself.” 

“Oh.” You can almost hear his smile. “Thanks.”

It takes a few more minutes of covert movement before you get to the house. You circle it, looking for any tell-tale signs of vampiric activity (corpses or animal remains, displaced or unusual soil, etc), but there’s nothing except overgrown weeds and some tricycle that has been taken over by said overgrown weeds. 

You test the back door. 

“Shouldn’t we get a flashlight?”

“And announce our arrival?”

“They can hear better than us, don’t you think they’d already know, with how you nearly tripped over that root before the gate?”

Yeah, that was embarrassing. You glare at him again. 

“How do you know all that stuff? About their hearing?”

He rolls his eyes and rewraps his scarf around his neck. “I’ve known you all my life. I listen…duh?”

You shake your head and enter the run-down cabin. As you test the rotted wooden floors, making sure to tell Jisung to step where you step, you think about that. There’s no reason why Jisung would just know how good a vampire’s hearing is rumored to be. Unless he listened to you, and remembered.

That sticks with you, even as you find that the abandoned cabin is full of dust, cobwebs, questionable wallpaper choices, with no sign of life…or unlife. 

He never says anything like ‘I told you so’ on the drive back, nearly four and a half hours after the initial request of his car. 

“That was kind of fun,” he says, sneezing when you both get out of his dented-in-weird-places truck. 

“You screamed three times and squeezed my arm so tight, it’s gonna bruise.”

“Those weren’t screams. They were….yelps. Exclamations of surprise.”

You can’t help but smile at him. “Sure.”

He tugs his beanie so it covers his ears. “I’ll do it again with you, if only so you don’t steal my truck.”

“Maybe…” You don’t promise anything. Yes, it was nice to have someone with you, but you don’t put your faith into it. Jisung is on the dance team, goes to pc cafes to game, and actually hangs out with his friends. You do just this. 

You know you’re the weird one here. 

“Maybe I’ll finally get my own car.”

“You could get a job.” He offers, leaning against the grill of his truck. 

“At fifteen?” 

He shrugs. “You could babysit?”

The both of you start laughing at the mere idea of you being in charge of vulnerable little humans. 

“I mean, you could.”

“The world is a better place without me protecting a toddler from the electric outlet.” 

He shrugs and shoves his hands into his coat pockets before pulling out the flask. “I dunno. You protected me pretty well.” He yawns. 

“Go sleep.” You take the flask back. “Thanks.”

He nods, already looking like he might fall asleep leaning against his SUV like that. “Not going to say ‘any time’. Maybe once and awhile.”

You press your lips together to stop smiling at him. “Sure. Night.” 

–

Jisung reminds you of your promise to watch the dance team at one game’s halftime, so you show up to a basketball game, sit and watch a sport that makes the people around you yell at the referees, the other team, and the home team with such passion that you think you must have something wrong with you because you do not get it.

But the half ends, and most people get up to grab concessions or hit the bathrooms while the co-ed dance team comes out in black and red outfits. You find Felix easy enough in the crowd, his vibrant blonde hair bouncing as he finds his position, talking excitedly to another dancer. Seungmin with his characteristic nonchalant expression is behind Felix, seeming unbothered that there’s an audience in front of him, waiting to judge and assess him.

Jisung is near the end of the second line, bouncing on the balls of his feet as everyone gets into place. He glanced up at the crowd, eyes scanning. He sees you because your eyes lock and you give a little wave of ‘see, I came’. You think he smiles, but you are on the top row of bleachers, off to the far side. 

The dancers all drop their heads when the music starts. Felix leads off and the rest fall into sync with him. You try and watch the group as a whole, impressed with how they move together, how the choreography seems like a mix of hip hop and contemporary.

It’s honestly pretty good for a high school group. You have YouTube and you’ve seen the occasional viral embarrassing dance rendition of whatever hit song is popular. 

Your eyes fall on Jisung the most. He’s the only one you know on your side of the gym (most of the time, there are a few formation changes). 

For being all limbs (though admittedly, he’s less like a stretched-out stick figure these days), Jisung is a good dancer. He’s on beat with his moves, and it doesn’t look horribly awkward.

You’re surprised. 

The song isn’t more than maybe two minutes and the applause at the end of it is not the same as the passionate yelling of spectators for some ‘bogus call, ref’. You clap though because you are impressed, and because if you had friends, you think it would be Jisung and his two compatriots. 

You start to head out of the gym into the lobby to go home; you are not sitting through more yelling at where an orange ball travels to. You’re almost home free, but you hear your name and turn to see Jisung running up to you. He’s grinning, face flushed, hair ruffled. 

“Thanks!”

“I mean, I promised.” You glance around to see schoolmates watching the two of you conversing and you wonder if Jisung worries about it. Because if you were less on the fringes (you’re not going to call Jisung popular, but he’s not ignored), you might worry about who you’re seen with. 

“Did I do okay?”

His question interrupts your musing on high school hierarchies, and you look at him in shock. 

“I…I don’t know anything about dance, Jisung.”

He nods. “But you are honest. Sometimes painfully. So, tell me. What did you think?” He crosses his arms and waits. You blink a few times, your mind going back over the memory of their performance, him specifically. 

“I think you’re good. I didn’t see any obvious mistakes or like you didn’t fit in.”

“But?”

It’s unnerving how he seems to know that you have more thoughts, even when you weren’t completely aware of them yourself. 

“I think you can extend more?” You swallow, lifting your arms so they stretch out. “Like your arms don’t go out all the way and I think it looks better when you do?” You shrug and drop your arms. “Also, your shoulders are up when you dance. Makes you look tense.” 

He nods a few times before smiling. “See, I knew you’d be honest.” He drops his arms from his chest. “Thanks…Are you leaving?”

You nod emphatically. “I cannot handle the screaming any longer.”

He laughs. “Yeah, fair.” He watches you for one more second. “We’re gonna go out for burgers and shakes later…you can come?”

“We?”

“The dance team mostly, I think.”

You’re already shaking your head. “Uh, thanks, but no thanks.” You start to walk backward, a little on edge being this close to Jisung and how he kinda sparkles all sweaty and red-faced. “I’ll see ya.”

He waves as you practically trip to get out of there.

–

~Tenth grade~

He warned you. He said that with both sets of parents going for a weekend trip together that he might have a party. You didn’t care because you had homework and research to do, and a party with Seungmin, Felix, and Jisung didn’t seem that concerning.

Since when did sophomore Jisung know enough people to have a rager? Because that’s what it sounds like next door right now.

You look through the kitchen window. There’s a lot of people, bodies silhouetted in the windows of his house, people in the backyard. Music loud and pumping. 

He invited you. You could go over.

You sigh and look in the refrigerator. There’s a six pack of beer. You could bring it over. Your father would probably just think that he’d already finished it. Or maybe he’d be thrilled that you snuck alcohol like a normal teenager. 

That’s what you’ll do. Just bring the six pack over, say hi to Jisung and remind him that the rest of your neighbors might not be as tolerant of the noise level.

And to be careful. 

You tug slightly on your turtleneck as you walk over. It’s not cold enough to warrant it, but it’s night time and you aren’t stupid.

Easy access to arteries is a dumb move.

You decide to step over the fence between the backyards, hearing a few ‘who is that?’ comments as you do from the outdoor party-goers. You will stay thirty minutes. That’s enough to get the high school party experience, right?

You see Felix the moment you walk in the back doors. He is sitting on a counter laughing at something someone is saying. He sees you, eyes light up and he slides off the counter to come greet you. 

He’s so bright sometimes he makes your eyes hurt.

“You came! Jisung said you wouldn’t!” There’s a hug, enthusiastic on his end, less so on yours. No one dislikes Felix; it’s impossible, but he’s definitely good in small doses for you. “You brought beer?”

You nod and he takes it from you, leaving your hands empty with nothing to do.

“Come, come, have a drink.”

“Uh, I just brought that and wanted to say hi to Jisung.”

He hands you a bottle of something pink with a peach on the label before gesturing toward the middle of the house. “I think he’s in there somewhere.”

Did you mention you don’t love yelling?

The music and the din of human voices is a lot to your head, so you sip the drink to find it’s not too gross and the cold of it is welcome amidst the heat of bodies. You enter into the sea of people, some dancing, most talking, a few touching in ways that makes your skin crawl.

Seungmin bumps into you and greets you with the same apathy that makes you always think that you and he might be good friends if either of you tried. 

“Where’s Jisung?” you ask, wincing as you have to yell it to be heard.

Seungmin smiles and it makes you question everything. Because it’s too wicked to just be a smile brought by an innocuous question or even alcohol. 

“I think he’s over by the stairs. You should definitely say hi.”

If Felix is too bright to take in more than just a bit at a time, you’re more wary of Seungmin. You kinda hope you never see him smile again. It’s too unsettling.

You nod and move on through the house, avoiding touching people as much as possible because they smell of liquor and sweat and so many pheromones. 

It takes a few minutes to get to the stairs, but you do find Jisung who is staring into the crowd that is writhing in the living room. You quietly sidle up behind him (him unaware) to see what he’s seeing.

Ahhh. 

“Mi-sun, huh?”

He jumps and turns, almost knocking heads with you. You step back to give him space. He says your name, eyes wide and then quite delighted. He hugs you.

He hugs you.

Jisung doesn’t hug you. That’s not a thing between next door neighbors. But you can smell the mix of fruit juice and rum on him, so you think that it’s probably not surprising that intoxicated Jisung is affectionate. 

He is friends with Felix after all. 

You pat his back during the hug, but he doesn’t let go quickly. You feel his nose brush the fabric covering your neck before he draws back. 

“You’re here.”

You shrug, a little undone by how damn smiley he is. “I’m here.” You wait but he’s still staring and smiling at you, so you look away, pointing back toward the crowd. “You like Mi-sun?”

He follows your hand then looks back at you. “Uh, I mean…she’s pretty?” His brow is furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“You were staring at her.”

“No, I wasn’t.” There’s a pout added to his words, so you just shrug because why would you debate this.

“I just came to bring some beer and say hi,” you tell him. 

“What?”

God, do you have to yell everything?

“Come on,” he says when you shake your head. “We’ll go upstairs.” He takes your hand and leads you. You are so dumbfounded that you follow, half-stumbling up after him. 

He leads you to a room and hits the lights before pulling you in and shutting the door. You look around.

“There’s no way this is your room.” You have very vague recollections of his bedroom from when you two were in elementary. 

“It’s my brother’s.” His older brother is already in college. “Why isn’t it mine?” He plops on the edge of the bed and lays down. 

“Doesn’t feel like yours.” You assume that his room looks different from when you were kids, but maybe there are still Alvin and the Chipmunks sheets. 

“Valid.” He sighs. “There are so many people here.”

You sit next to him. “Yeah. I was gonna warn you that I think Mrs. Park has looked out her blinds at least three times.”

Another sigh as he looks up at the ceiling. “Fuck. I really thought it’d be like ten people.” He sits up and looks over at you. “You’re drinking.”

You look at the wine cooler and offer it to him. “I think I had three sips.”

He takes it and drinks it, eyes on you when his mouth touches the rim of the bottle. You tilt your head to the side, then decide not to ask about it. 

“So…a high school party…is it as great as the movies told us?” you ask, looking at his brother’s swimming trophies decorating one set of shelves. 

“Dunno. It’s my first legit party.”

“Same.” You doubt birthday parties from third grade when Doyung had to invite the entire class counted as ‘real’ parties. 

“It’s not horrible,” he says before saying your name. You turn to look at him to find that he’s only a few inches away. 

“What are you doing?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You freeze before jumping off the bed. “What?”

He makes a face before looking at the half-drunk bottle in his hands. “I know it’s weird, but it’s my first party. This’d be my first kiss.”

“There is probably someone down there who’d do that for you,” you stammer, trying not to look at his lips because that’s what the word ‘kiss’ has done to your brain. “I think Felix would.”

Jisung laughs before grinning at you. “He probably would, but…” he trails off, looking at you. 

“But…” You cross your arms, so he doesn’t think you are interested. Then it hits you. “Wait, is this because I always tell you the truth? Like you want to make sure you don’t suck? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Okay, maybe there’s some of that…” That shouldn’t be as disappointing as it is to you, but he continues, “But also…” he swallows nervously. “I want to kiss you.”

Your brain has stopped computing. 

“You…want to kiss me?” You are surprised you can even speak. “Why?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I?”

You move back to sit on the bed, a foot or two between you and him. “I…” You meet his gaze. “How drunk are you?”

He shrugs with an embarrassed smile. “Two drinks? I mean, I won’t lie, I definitely probably wouldn’t have asked you if I was fully sober, but I’m not…impaired or anything.” He scoots a little closer. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I might cry about it later, but–” He laughs when you punch his arm with no force. 

It’s hard not to stare at him. Whether it’s the alcohol or something else that makes his eyes all sparkly, he’s turning into someone quite pretty. His nose still doesn’t quite fit his face and he’s more of a toothpick than human. 

But he’s pretty.

And probably the only person you know who you could kiss and not be worried as much about the aftermath. Maybe growing up with him just means he isn’t so scary.

Maybe it just means that he’s safe.

“Okay.”

His eyes widen at your admission. “Yeah? Oh. Okay.” He turns more toward you. “So, you have to be honest. I really have a lot of overcome in the romance department, but I think being a good kisser could like be my chance to outweigh the rest of it.”

You laugh, you can’t help it. “You’re pretty great as is, Jisung.”

His mouth parts, eyes boring into yours. “Thanks.”

You shake your head at the near mesmerizing effect of his big brown eyes. “Rules though.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Hands nowhere that bikini covers .” Even saying it outloud makes you cringe, but you really have no desire to find out if you like being groped or not. 

“Uhhhh, same?” He covers his hands over his chest like the cups of a bikini top and you giggle because he’s funny and cute and you’re going to kiss him. You lean closer. His eyes drop to your mouth, his hands falling from his chest to the mattress. “Anything else?” his voice is pitched high and you wonder if your voice does something to give away your nerves too. 

“I don’t think so?” Yeah, your voice doesn’t quite sound normal. 

He reaches out, one hand touching your cheek while the other rests on your thigh. He lets out a shuddery breath. 

“Soft,” he whispers before his eyes close which reminds you that you should close your eyes, too. You feel his lips brush yours hesitantly before settling with a bit more confidence. His hand cups your face as his mouth moves. 

It’s nice. It’s interesting.

He draws back, but his hands linger. Eyes open, and he gazes at you. 

“Okay?”

You nod, curious because you feel like it should be more. You aren’t sheltered. You’ve seen kisses on screen, in real life, but it’s not like you’ve studied. Kissing for any length of time requires movement. So you move.

You press your mouth to his, hands pushed down on the mattress as you edge ever closer. His index finger traces the shell of your ear when you open your mouth so your tongue can touch the seam of his lips. You feel him visibly jolt, but he gives you no time to question or apologize for that as he returns it. 

Oh…ohhhhh.

As his tongue slides along yours, his hand on your thigh clenches. It’s like a chain reaction; his hand on your leg draws you more to him, your hands finding his waist and hips. He makes a sound that spurs on his tongue so much that you pull back.

“No.”

His eyes flutter open. “What?”

“I mean,” you feel dazed yourself. “Not so much tongue.” You brush back his hair when his hand drops to your shoulder. “No lizards.”

He winces. “Sorry.” The flush on his cheeks catches your attention and you lean in to kiss the heated skin. His breath catches. 

“What about me?” you ask, fascinated at the give of his cheeks. You press another kiss. “Any tips?”

“No.” It’s more of a groan and you raise your eyes to his. “You…you’re very good.” He doesn’t elaborate, but kisses you again. You feel the intrusion of his tongue, but it’s slower…like he’s savoring. 

It’s so much better. 

You’re unaware of much beyond the kissing, your hands having a mind of their own as one slips under his t-shirt to trace the slope of his back. You’re not quite conscious of maneuvering him so he’s lying back on the bed and you are straddling him on your knees, reluctant to break away from his mouth. You do though, you draw away and look down at him; his swollen lips, red and shiny. His dark eyes and flushed skin. How his fingers wrap around your waist, gripping tightly. 

“Better?” he questions, breathless.

“Much.” One more kiss, this one soft and he whines when you pull away again. “I think you’ll be just fine, Jisung.”

He sits up as you move off of him. Reality comes back, your brain returning to its normal functioning. You stay on the edge of the bed, staring anywhere but at him. 

He fills the space next to you, so quiet. He says your name, and you dare to glance over. 

You kiss him again, the urge strong. He cradles your face in his hands, kissing you back. It’s more sweet than heated.

There’s a loud crash sounding from downstairs, and he jerks away before looking at you with wide eyes. 

“Shit.”

“You better go.”

He glances at the door then back at you, his hands leaving your face. “Yeah…are you going home?”

“Yeah. I think…I think I should.” You miss his hands already.

You both stand and you slide your hands into the back pockets of your jeans. He reaches out to touch where your neck is covered by your shirt. You freeze, staring at him. He shrugs, not saying anything. 

“I’ll…I’ll see ya.” He disappears through the door, shutting it behind him. You don’t move for a minute, trying to feel like you have control over your body before you leave. 

As you make your way through the party-goers, you’re almost out the back door when you hear someone (Seungmin you think) holler “Cops on their way!”

It’s a mad dash that you make in front of the departing crowd. You step back over the fence, hurrying into your house before watching the people and the cars all race off. You wait several more minutes once everything has gone quiet to realize that the cops aren’t coming. 

Pretty effective way to end a party, though.

Your phone vibrates.

Night.

—

If you had friends, especially female friends, you might have talked to them about it. Might have discussed the whys and hows and what to do now of it all. But you don’t think your mom is the right person to tell about the party at the Han’s house, and the few kids in high school you do interact with aren’t exactly interested in anything about your life. Your conversations consist of retelling what assignments someone missed and how high school is hell. 

You definitely don’t talk to Jisung about it. 

When you see him at school the following Monday, he smiles at you, but is distracted by one of his dance team members. You maintain the status quo which is little engagement with anyone at school, even Jisung. 

What is there to talk about? It was a kiss (several) and just two neighbors experimenting. It’s not anything else.

It definitely doesn’t mean you like Jisung or anything.

It’s two months later that you see him talking with Mi-sun by the lockers, her hand on his arm that you reiterate to yourself that you don’t like him.

Because that would be stupid. 

—

~Twelfth Grade~

High school is hell, but you weather it well enough. You pass your classes, you get a decent score on the SAT even though you think university is a pointless experience. It appeases your parents that you do apply and do accept going to a school in state, but farther away than you’ve ever been. 

You’ve been working a part-time job at a bookstore for the last two years, finally earning enough for a used car. Which means you don’t text your neighbor for any late night excursions. Even though he’s asked at least twice. 

He’s easy to avoid if you try. 

But not at the graduation bonfire. It’s tradition. The powers-that-be in your small town look the other way when the graduated seniors set up a party on the outskirts, in the woods. Bonfire, drinks, very little food and somehow it’s okay as long as no one drives home. 

You go because you’re curious. You’ve been to maybe three parties since Jisung’s because it makes your parents less annoying when you do ‘normal’ teen things. You haven’t stopped your research and exploring, but you hide it better. 

It’s the last high school thing you’ll ever have, so you go. 

It’s not about Jisung.

But you do see him once you grab a beer to keep your hands occupied. He’s laughing with Seungmin and Felix and other schoolmates that you know by sight. You know that he did date Mi-sun for probably a good year or so because even though you are a nobody in your school, it’s small enough that dating rumors and truths get to everyone, even the outsiders. 

You force yourself to look away from him when he smiles because it’s still bright and happy and it hurts. 

The bonfire crackles and burns bright in front of you as you fiddle with your open bottle. 

“Hey, you came!”

Apparently he saw you too.

You force a smile to your lips. “Hey Jisung.”

He steps in next to you, clinking your bottle with his. “Happy ‘we’re done with this hellhole’!” He seems a little intoxicated, giddy from the ceremony of the day. 

“Sure.”

He turns to you. “Your mom said you were going to Southern?”

“Yeah. And you’re going to State with Seungmin and Felix.” You take a sip and make a face. 

“Yeah.” There’s a pause. “Guess we won’t be neighbors.” 

Why does he have to sound bummed about it? What does he care?

“Yep.”

“What does an aspiring vampire-ologist major in?” His smile hasn’t faded, but you realize that you’re just not in the mood for his teasing. Even if he’s one of the only people who’s never mocked you for your life-long preoccupation.

“What do you major in when you just do everything your friends do?” 

You can see him still in the corner of your eye. The smile drops, the easy and open manner closes off. 

“What?”

You turn to him, angry for reasons you can never tell him because it’s probably not his fault that you went and developed a crush on the boy next door, but you convince yourself if he hadn’t kissed you, you wouldn’t be like this. 

You wouldn’t like Han Jisung.

“Just curious if going to college with your best friends from high school is such a good idea. I mean, will you ever figure out what you actually want to do if you keep following them?”

The bonfire paints flickering light over his face, shadowing the entirety of his expression. But you can see enough. 

You’ve hurt him. You’re not friends but you never wanted to hurt him. 

“At least I don’t live in a fantasy because I refuse to deal with the real world and actually interacting with humans. I don’t prefer mythological creatures over actual people.” He spits out words like they’ve been festering inside for far too long. “At least people know I exist.”

He holds your gaze, your glare for as long as it takes you to let his words settle in your mind. It’s a direct hit. And only he knows you well enough to do it so keenly.

You hate that you just now realize how well he knows you. 

“Have a nice life, Jisung.” You toss your bottle into the bonfire, watching the mini explosion with disinterest before walking away. 

—

~First Year at University~

When you see Jisung in his backyard during winter break, you pause in your thoughts about going out to look at the stars. You haven’t spoken to him since graduation night. You saw him load up his truck and leave about three days before you left for your college. There has been no contact in any way. You almost made a profile to see if he posted on tiktok or instagram or anything, but school takes over as it always does, and you don’t want to feel weak. 

Even if you wish you could apologize. 

You don’t go back home until winter break. Your parents check in with you, but you’re convinced that they’re just grateful that you’re finally out of the house. As the semester wears on, you don’t blame them. 

It’s three days before Christmas when you see Jisung in the backyard with Bbama. You were about to walk out, look up at the stars and soak in the wintry quiet. You hesitate in seeing your neighbor, wondering if you can actually do this. 

You go out anyway.

In a tufted beanie and big puffy jacket, Jisung spins around at the noise of the sliding doors opening. Even from this distance, with the back door lights illuminating, you can see his eyes widen.

You wave. “Hey Jisung.”

His shoulders drop in relief. “Hey.”

You walk over to the fence, pulling tighter on the hood of your sweatshirt. You squat down to pet Bbama over the fence. 

“So…” you begin, looking up as your neighbor walks over. “How was college?”

He half-smiles and squats down too, eyes on Bbama. “Is it strange to say life-changing?”

You stare at him as he rubs Bbama’s hindquarters. You need to know. You need to know if getting away from home, from the drama of high school, from everything of before also irrevocably altered him and the journey he thought he was on. 

“No,” you say. He looks at you then and seems to understand that there’s a lot you’re not saying. “Wanna tell me about it?”

The half-smile stretches into a full one. “Yeah, okay.”

He drives you both out to the woods, to a very large clearing so you both can lie in the bed of his truck and stare up at the stars, unpolluted by light. He throws a blanket over you before adjusting an old hoodie under his head for a makeshift pillow.

“I’m sorry.”

You still look at the stars, but you can feel his gaze. 

“You are?”

“For what I said at the bonfire. I was…” One of the reasons you never apologized was that you weren’t sure how to without revealing how angry you were and that the source of your anger was your silly crush on him. “I was angry and I took it out on you. I’ve always thought your friendship with Seungmin and Felix was really nice.”

He lets out a soft breath. “You could have been friends with them too.”

You snort. “Yeah, I wasn’t really about that.”

He chuckles. “I’m sorry too. For saying what I did about you living in fantasy and–”

“I don’t think you were entirely wrong,” you interrupt. “I think there was some element of avoiding life.”

“Did you have to take Psych 101 too this semester?”

You laugh, turning your head to look at him. He’s looking up at the sky, giving you a picture-perfect view of his profile.

He’s grown even more, in just five months. 

“I did.”

“Me too. So, I think you weren’t completely wrong either. About me.” He moves and sits up, leaning back against the cab of the truck. You do the same, wrapping the blanket around you. “It’s easier to be what others what you to be than to figure out what you really want.”

You’re both quiet for a few minutes, hearing the wind whistle through the bare and needled trees. 

“Did you? Did you figure out what you want?”

He nods. “I…I started writing.”

“Writing?”

In your peripheral, you can see him swallow nervously. 

“What kind of writing?”

“Lyrics. Music. Poetry.” He turns toward you. “I had to take a writing class to get it out the way and only one was available…poetry. I shouldn’t have even gotten into it, it’s a 300 level…a total glitch, but it was so good and I liked it so much and–” He cuts himself off, looking away and even though it’s dark you can tell he’s blushing. “I think I’m pretty good at it.”

“Are you going to like…be a song-writer?”

“Maybe? I’m taking two music production classes next semester. It might be awful. I might be awful at it.”

“But you might not be.”

He looks back at you and does that half-smile again. “Yeah. I might not be.”

“That’s really awesome, Jisung.” You reach out and squeeze his arm, which really is just you squeezing the puffy jacket. “I’m happy you found that.”

“What about you? You made it sound like…like college was life-changing for you too.”

You take a deep breath.

“Still researching?”

“No.”

If you were in a drama, he would have gasped with such a reveal. But it’s just quiet. Cold and quiet. 

“Why not?”

“Because they’re not real.”

Maybe that’s when a gasp would happen. 

“I…um, really?”

You laugh at how he’s trying to sound surprised. 

“I mean I noticed you aren’t covering your neck like you usually do at night, but–” 

You shouldn’t be surprised that he noticed that.

“I know. I know. I was so adamant about them being real. And who knows? Maybe they do exist. They’re just really good at hiding.” You sober up. “There was this flyer-poster thingy on the bulletin boards and on the community website for extracurriculars and clubs and stuff. It said something like “Find out about real vampires’ or whatever. I thought maybe I’d found others like me.”

You look back up at the sky.

“But you didn’t.”

“No. It wasn’t a big group. In some tiny classroom in the history building. The person who spoke was an activist.” You feel your voice break. “About sex-trafficking.”

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah. And like, went on about the statistics, and how it happens here, not in some country a million miles away. I almost cried in the meeting. These kids, people our age and younger are being enslaved and assulated on the daily and…” You trail off. “I mean, we’ve all heard about it before, just something about then, that moment. Here I was, trying to write a manifesto about some fictional character trope and there were children out there, being…” You press your lips together and take another deep breath. “It was eye-opening.”

“I can imagine.”

You swallow your emotions a little, wondering if you would ever become jaded when you thought about it. 

“Anyway. I finally picked my major. I’m doing sociology and criminal justice. I don’t know what that means really, except…”

“I think that means you know what matters to you.” 

You turn to him. “Yeah. I guess so.”

He smiles. “Well, my lyric-writing turn feels really underwhelming right now.”

You laugh and lightly punch his shoulder. “I bet your words are really wonderful. Thoughtful. Powerful.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You don’t know that.”

“Well, no, I don’t. But you were always a good friend to me…You’re really empathetic which I bet comes out in your writing.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve admitted that we’re friends.”

You huff and punch him again before crossing your arms to look back out into the dark night. “Whatever.”

“I think your obstinacy will serve you well in what you wanna do, Van Helsing.” 

You smile at the nickname. 

“Hey.”

You turn again toward him. He’s moved closer. 

“I’m excited for you.”

You can’t help but soak in his warmth from being closer and that smile of his. “Thanks. I’m terrified.”

“I think that’s good. I’ve never seen you scared.”

“I’ve seen you scared.”

He makes a face. “Well, that’s what I get for having a girl like you next door.” He meets your eyes for a couple seconds. “I’m sorry too.”

“About?”

“The party at my house.” 

You can actually feel your heart speed up. 

“We were kids.”

“But I liked you.” He shrugs. “And I got to kiss you but did nothing about it. Which feels both dumb and spineless. You didn’t seem to be interested so I just kinda decided to not bring it up again.”

You can’t take looking at him in the eyes for this, so you stare at the trees in the distance. “You liked me?”

“Of course. So I’m sorry I kinda made it about it being my first time and like, practice when it was definitely more than that. I took your first kiss too.”

“I agreed,” you say softly. “I agreed because it was you.” You reach out and smooth the wrinkles in his forehead from his worry. “I didn’t bring it up either. Even though it mattered.”

He doesn’t look away from you. “Yeah. It mattered.” He links his hand with yours. 

You stare at your connected hands because it’s almost as unfathomable as you pursuing something that wasn’t vampires. 

“Jisung.”

“Hmm?”

“You said you ‘liked’ me. Past tense.”

“I did.”

“Well, I like you.” You force your eyes back to his. “Present tense.”

“Yeah?” If there’s a trace of knowing in his voice and expression, you can forgive him. Because he’s always been perceptive and observant. Maybe your crush wasn’t as unnoticed as you thought. 

“Yeah.” You laugh in self-reproach. “I mean, I think you’re the only thing outside of my research that I even thought about.”

He doesn’t say anything, but he’s grinning, still holding your hand.

“Say something.”

“That’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

You roll your eyes, but don’t move away. “Are you a better kisser now?”

You can see and hear how his breath catches at your question. “Um…I think so. I got really good advice from a friend, once. Not too much tongue.”

“That is a good friend.” You aren’t sure which of you is moving closer to the other, or if both of you are doing it simultaneously, but his lips are definitely nearer. 

“Yeah. I like her.” 

“Still?”

He nods, so close his lips brush yours just from that movement. He lingers, before kissing you more firmly, his other hand coming around to cup your face. 

Maybe you don’t remember it that well, but you think he has improved. His tongue touching yours sends shivers through you that have nothing to do with the cold. But he notices. 

“I better get you home. It’s freezing.”

You protest, and he kisses you on the lips in response before dropping his head and pressing his lips to your neck.

“I wanted to do this that night,” he whispers against your skin, then looks up at you. “Kiss you here.” 

You cup his face in your hands, mouth meeting his, your fingers sliding into his hair. The way he kisses, the changing rhythm; his hands trailing under your hoodie and up your sides; all of it just causes your fingers to tighten in his hair, relishing the silky feel and hearing how he shudders at the slight pull. 

He drags you closer, almost into his lap, but the wind picks up, blowing through the both of you so you simultaneously shiver. He chuckles against your lips. 

“I better take you home. Getting sick on winter break would be the worst.” 

You agree, but not without wrapping around him, kissing again. He eventually draws away, but lets your noses brush.

“The image of you above me, kissing me that night. Seared into my brain for eternity.”

He doesn’t say anything else as he climbs out of the bed of the truck and holds out his hand to help you, but you throw the blanket over his head before climbing out on your own. He’s laughing when he gets into the driver's seat to drive you back. 

When he parks in his driveway, it’s quiet again. And your mind wanders.

“So…what does this mean, exactly?” you ask carefully. 

He takes your hand in his, turning his body toward you, eyes soft and warm. “Means whatever we want it to.”

“We go to different schools.”

“True.”

“We are just now figuring out who we are and what we want to do.”

“Also true.”

You huff at him. “Long distance, even two hours or whatever rarely works.”

His smile grows. “You looked up how long it takes to drive between our schools?”

It’s beyond embarrassing so you pull your hand out of his, and get out of his truck. He follows soon after, wrapping his arms around you in a hug, his mouth pressing against your temple. 

“It’s cute. You’re cute.”

“Whatever.”

He draws back, not letting go, but so you can look at each other. “Two hours is nothing. We drove almost that far to look at an empty house.”

It reminds you again. That he pays attention. That he cares so deeply about his friends that he does stuff with them. Even hunting something that doesn’t exist. 

You kiss him before drawing back to say, “True. Two hours is nothing.”

His answering smile fills you with so much affection, you wonder if it was inevitable; falling for the boy next door. 

---

(c) yoongihan 2024. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

#gia's fic recs 💗 #Han 🐹

[innieandsungielover]

So um... WHEN IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!?!?!?

perv!Jisung x afab!reader minors dni; 18+ warnings: orall (f! and m! receiving), dry humping, unprotected sex, cumming inside wc: 1.2k (straight smut...) part 1-ish (don't have to read, but like would recommend!!)

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to” he whined as you pressed your ass against his crotch, feeling the way his hard-on pressed into you. 

“Really Sungie? Don’t you think I would find all my underwear in your drawer?” you chuckled, turning around so you could meet him face to face. The fairy lights twinkling throughout your room allowing you to see his disheveled hair. It slightly stuck to his forehead, a telltale sign that he was humping you for a while.  

“Look at you, so pathetic” you grinned, bringing your hand up to his forehead, brushing the hair to the side to get a good look at his face, his cheeks ridden with a red blush. You could feel his embarrassment, it was radiating off of him, but it didn’t stop you. 

“Can’t believe you were trying to cum without making me cum first, what a bad little boy” you pouted before slowly getting on top of him, your hands on your chest as you placed your clothed cunt against his hard-on. 

“I’m sorry” he whined as you rolled your hips on his cock, your head thrown back due to the friction as he whined underneath you, throwing his head to the side. 

“Want to take care of me baby?” you asked, your hand moving from his chest to his chin, pulling it towards you so he looked directly at you. 

“Yes, wanna be a good boy, want to be such a good boy for you” he whined, rutting his pelvis up into you, trying to get any sort of friction to help him get off. He was so hard that it was painful. 

“Then are you going to make me cum?” you whispered before bending down and kissing his lips, your tongue running across it before pulling away. 

“Yes, please want to make you cum for me, please let me” he sighed, his body writhing underneath you. “Fine, think you can make me cum with that pretty little mouth that’s constantly running baby?” 

He nodded, his eyes fixated as you got up from him, he whined at the loss of contact, missing your pussy on him. “Fuck baby, can’t even wait a second can you?” you pouted before pulling down your shorts. 

“Fuckkkk” he groaned, watching your pretty pussy come in front of him, enamored by your wet folds as you placed your hands on your headboard, sitting directly above his face. 

He wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer to his face as he licked a fat stripe up your cunt. 

“Holy shit, this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted” he moaned into your cunt before attacking your clit. “Please ride my face, want to make you cum like a good boy” he groaned into your folds, his tongue slowly pressing into your hole, causing you to throw your head back. 

Your moans filled up the room as he ate you like a man starved. He didn’t stop, his tongue running against your folds, biting your clit slightly, licking every spot of your pussy, not letting a singular centimeter go unattended to. 

“Fuck Sungie” you whined as you pressed yourself down on his face. He didn’t care that he was suffocating, he was suffocating on your pussy. The same pussy that he had gotten off to almost every night. The same one he imagined cumming inside for months. 

You felt yourself getting close. His eagerness not letting you even take a singular breath, he kept attacking your pussy as you felt his body shift underneath you. He was humping the air, trying to relieve himself of the pain of his hard cock. 

“Poor Sungie needs to cum so bad, can’t even wait for me to –hnggg– cum” you whined as his tongue fucked your hole, his fingers slowly curling around your thighs opening you even wider for him. 

“Want you to cum” he muttered into your pussy, the vibrations causing you to cum on his face. Your essence to cover the bottom half, his stubble glistening with your cum under the twinkly of your lights. 

“Please, want to cum” he begged, his eyes pleading for any sort of relief. “Who am I to deny you after you made me cum? My good little boy” you giggled, kissing his lips before finally making your way to his cock. 

You pressed your hand against his sweats, realizing that he wasn’t wearing boxers underneath as you noticed the wet patch on his gray sweatpants. You slowly pulled them down, watching the way his cock hit his stomach. 

It wasn’t girthy, but it was so long, it was going to hit all the right spots inside of you. The way his cock was leaking, the redness of the tip, it was the prettiest cock you had ever seen. 

“Sungie, if I knew you had such a pretty cock, I would have fucked you months ago” You grinned before bending down, licking from his balls to the tip of his cock, causing him to shudder. 

“No, want to be in you, want to cum in you” he whined as you sucked at his tip. You removed yourself with a pop, giving into his request as you slowly lined your pussy with his cock, one hand on his chest and one guiding his dick inside of you. 

“Want me to ride you, baby? Want me to make you feel good” you whispered as you slowly pushed yourself down onto him. 

“Yes, fuck want you so bad” he whined as you slowly began to ride him. You began to bounce on his cock. You knew he was close by the way he was thrusting up into you at a fast pace, not caring about your pleasure at this point, which was fine with you. 

“Fuck, feels so good, best pussy I’ve ever had” he moaned underneath you his head tossed to the side. You could see a bit of drool leaving his lips, which you would have found disgusting if it was any other man, but he looked so good, you overlooked it. 

You could feel yourself reaching your own high, bringing your hand down to rub your own clit as you bent down to capture Jisung’s lips with your own. The way your cunt was convulsing on his cock was all he needed to cum inside of you, without any warning. 

His cum filled your walls as he began to plead for you to cum. “please, please, please,” he screamed into your mouth, begging. “Such a good cock” you whined as you finally felt yourself reach your high. Your walls clenching around his softening cock. 

You rode out the two of your’s highs, bouncing on his cock until your legs gave out, causing you to fall on his chest. 

“Next time you try and hump me in my sleep, be less obvious” you whispered before falling asleep on his chest.

Was what just happened real, he thought to himself, tracing his hands down your clothed back and to your ass as he felt his cock slowly start to come back to life in your pussy again. 

He just needed to be less obvious this time, didn’t he? 

#gia's fic recs 💗 #gia's thoughts! #Han 🐹

[innieandsungielover]

I love my squirrel bias line 🤭

#gia's thoughts! #han jisung skz #han skz #skz han #stray kids #Han #Han jisung #jiung #choi jiung #p1harmony #p1harmony jiung

[innieandsungielover]

No, because this is tingling my brain in all of the right ways?!?!!

「Poison」 — Audio Fiction

➥ Ex!Chris x Reader (f) — 19min 45sec

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — NSFW audio. Headphones recommended. Does not contain a soundalike.

➥ Immersive audio version of the original story.

Keep Listening

「© 2021-2024, cb97percent · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

※ Exclusive content — Freely available as taster: This audio story is part of the exclusive content I offer to my Ream subscribers only. Join the Skye High Club for more upcoming content like this. [See pinned for more info]

✉ Enjoyed this? It would be cool of you to reblog so that my work can reach more people.

#gia's fic recs 💗 #Bangchan 🐺

[innieandsungielover]

Just drank a week-old glass of water that was on my desk, I think I might have used it to clean my paint brushed, idk!

#gia's thoughts!

[innieandsungielover]

Barking like a damn dog, but that damn mouth away. Put that entire face away and reflect. No, he actually asked if he could take this picture and I only said yes because I love y'all or whatever.... (Holy shit this man is so fine, please don't cut his hair, I BEG)

#gia's thoughts! #stray kids #skz #straykids #han jisung #han #han jisung skz #skz han #han skz

[innieandsungielover]

Wow. This was truly incredible. Like the plot line, the romance, the way everything connected, I’m so enthralled and am so excited for the next parts. This was so cute and I truly enjoyed every second of it, this was so well written. I wanna read this over and over again til my eyes bleed

angel eyes 🪽 b.cc (m)

a/n: the photo above is from stray kids' skz magic school shoot. i don’t own the media. i clearly got carried away writing this, because it's so long. however, i hope you guys enjoy it. obviously none of this is real...so does accuracy matter?

✩ synopsis: you’ll think you’re in paradise, and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise, don’t look too deep…

✩ genre: idiots to lovers | love epiphany au | teacher x student

✩ pairing: ??? b.cc x fem!compassion conjurer!reader

✩ word count: 21.6k | lowercase intended.

✩ rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

✩ warning(s): quite a few time skips. minor character death, mentions of a car accident, semi descriptive. y/n has a scar across her body (not self inflicted, how it was inflicted it not described), both y/n and chan have unresolved issues with love, chan's kind of a dick in the beginning. swearing, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of blood, y/n has a medical episode, once more horribly written smut [between b.cc x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, oral (f. receiving...he starts eating it thru the panties LOL), so much kissing, some (nude) grinding, missionary (because i'm an emotional bitch), light nipple play (clothed), crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, some biting, light choking (m. receiving), a bit of alluding to sex as 'extra credit' and subtly feeding the professor x student power dynamic]. (more information about y/n: she glows, kind of like a glowstick, and she can float around instead of walking.)

✩ what to listen to: angel eyes - abba | the chain - fleetwood mac | bodyache - purity ache | if it isn't love - new edition | cherish the day - sade

tuesday – november 02.

it's slow, the fall. it feels like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement. 

he's been lost before - in grocery stores, not understanding assignments. shit, he's even been lost in the woods before. he knows what it's like to be lost, physically. he knows what it's like to not know what his emotions mean, either, so that also counts in his book.

but this? this feeling that he's just wandering the world? not knowing where his purpose lies, or what he's meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose? this is a feeling of damn near disorientation, isolation, off fucking course. it's all the same anyway. everything is the same, nearly everyday.

he wakes up, brushes his teeth. greets changbin and hyunjin at the table for breakfast, and gets ready for the day. goes to class, daydreams. he comes home, has lunch with jisung sometimes, and goes to the gym with changbin at seven-thirty. every few fridays, he'll go to one of the university baseball games, cheering on seungmin and jisung while sharing nachos with his ex-fling, sooyoung, and her best friend (who so happened to be seungmin's former girlfriend.) then, he's home again, he showers, he sleeps for a few hours.

every. single. day.

he gets bored, but reminds himself he needs to find peace in the routine. it's all he knows – he doesn't know what's keeping him here, but he's aware it's something. everyone knows it's something, but have no answers for him. he's sought after so many master sorcerers across all dimensions, begging to find an end to his equation, but to no avail.

he has no idea who he is, or what purpose he serves, and he pretends he's okay with it. he soothes by saying that not all can be known.

he pretends it's fine as he goes through his days, as he goes to class, as he talks to girls. he doesn't feel much of anything when he does these things, but the women he speaks to certainly do. they grin from ear to ear, like cheshire cats, when they get a moment to speak to the uncertainty that is bang chan.

but, it's fine. he's fine, it's really not a big deal.

he's in his last year of grad school, hoping to just bury himself in his studies to stop the feeling of impending doom. normally, you open up shop right after undergrad. you offer your services, barter for goods, sometimes get paid in a goat and two chickens instead of money. so many of his friends have already done so, relishing in the satisfaction that is being a sorcerer and mastering their craft. 

what the fuck is he supposed to do? study until his fingers fall off and his brain becomes putty?

"i dunno, man. you could become a genius." jisung spoke around a mouthful of blueberries, and chan grimaced. "what? i'm bulking up!" shaking his head, chan closed his notebook. shoving it into his bookbag, he sighs. "i don't think i want to know everything there is to know, ji."

"doesn't knowing everything you need to know, start with knowing yourself?" minho teases from across the table, winking at jisung over his coffee cup. the younger boy nearly chokes, getting a whack across the back to aid in not seeing god. "don't flirt with him, he'll have an aneurysm." "hey!" jisung sputters, but the three of them know it's true. how jisung was the campus' playboy, no one would ever know. chan didn't even know if jisung could read when they first met. "you know it's true, ji. i gotta head out, i have a night class this semester with professor y/l/n, i finally got my schedule fixed. changbin is going to hate me because i'm going to miss the gym every tuesday and thursday." chan groans as he swings his bag over his shoulder, and the two men watch as he slides his headphones on, walking out of the library.

he's insufferable lately, and they don't know why. they assume he needs to kiss someone, preferably sooner rather than later.

"you think the poor guy knows what he's in for?" minho mumbles, closing his textbook. jisung shakes his head, popping another blueberry in his mouth. "i hear she's ruthless. i mean, if i was an anomalistic prodigy with gorgeous thighs like hers, i would be, too." "shut up, you can't even kill spiders."

your classroom is surprisingly cozy as he strolls in. the lights are dimmed, and there are blankets draped across many chairs. he looks around, spotting a green couch in the back. raising his eyebrows, he makes a beeline for it, hearing other people start to trickle in.

setting up his laptop on the table before him, he lets his eyes wander.

the walls are plastered with entomology posters, and he scrunches his nose as he sees a taxidermied praying mantis on your desk. he remembers what you said in your speech at your commencement ceremony – "the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide. a guide for those who needed direction, and my god, have i needed it. life truly does go on and i am further amazed by how deeply it fills me with joy to stand here before you. the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide, and i am so honored to be the mantis that prays for you."

you were the university's little treat, their trophy to parade. their only compassion conjurer and possessor of the will to practice benevolent magic. you cared of nothing more but to help those around you, you never said no. you never denied yourself to be utilized to find peace. he admired you, but not really. it was twisted, but he thinks you should…help yourself. he believes you should be selfish, at least once in a while.

he didn't really know you, but he hadn't expected to, either. you seemed like you were constantly on the go. you floated about, sort of like a ghost. your hands often clasped behind your back, a warm golden glow surrounding you. he'd heard from some people that they've seen it change color, but he never has.

but again, he didn't know you.

"chan!"

the voice whips him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see yugyeom. he smiles, reaching his hand out for a dap from his oldest friend. "hey! how have you been? still on the baseball team?" "nah, i quit after i started dating doyeon. apparently, she has quite the track record with the team." he whistles, pulling out his laptop as he slides on the couch. "you quit the team for a girl?" chan questions, and yugyeom gives him a shy smile.

"she's not just any girl, chan. i think…she could be the one." he shrugs, a blush coating his cheeks as chan bumps his shoulder. "aww, that's so gross."

"shut up. what happened with you and sooyoung? did you guys break it off?" yugyeom takes a sip of his water, and chan nods as he sees more people walk in and take their seats. "yeah, we stopped fucking around. i wasn't as emotionally invested as she was, and i felt awful for it but we ended on good terms. i'm just not ready for a relationship and i should have made that clear. that was months ago, though, and we're fine." he shrugs, and feels an odd shiver down his spine. he shakes it off, continuing the casual conversation with yugyeom.

the door opens, and they both stop talking to look up. you're floating in gracefully, dark hair framing your face, a few scattered gold strands sprouting at the crown of your head. a bit like a halo, really. long, wine red nails reach for the light switch, dimming the lights even lower.

"good evening, everyone. eyes up front, please." your voice is softer than at your ceremony, but just as confident. you're looking around, your glow dimming lightly as your eyes stop in his direction. chan's eyes flicker to yugyeom, who is smiling at his phone, thumbs typing rapid fire. shaking his head, he looks up at you, your gaze on yugyeom. chan bumps his foot, and his head shoots up. your eyes are slightly amused, "you're paying for this class. i suggest you pay attention." "sorry." he slides his phone in his jacket, and chan bites back a laugh as he clicks his pen. smiling, you redirect your attention. "welcome to identity theory! i'm professor y/l/n, but you guys can call me y/n. you might already know me, as i'm the university's only compassion conjurer, and that is exactly why i'm teaching this class." you hold up the syllabus, and begin walking around to pass them out.

"this is an extension course to the one you took in undergrad, self-discovery 101. here, we are going to further delve into ourselves, and figure out who we are outside of our powers, or what purpose they serve. i like to focus on eudaimonic theory, but if you guys have any others you want to talk about, i'm open for discussion. i also want to apologize for starting the class so late in the year. i promise the workload isn't much, i was just having a hard time deciding if i wanted to teach this class. i wouldn't be doing much soul searching with you guys, i'm already the trophy wife of the administration."

he likes your voice. it's smooth, unwavering even as you apologize and joke, even as you let your feet touch the ground. he feels his chest grow hot as you graze everyone's table with your fingers, a soft chatter beginning amongst the students. he's not nervous, but you're very commanding. he likes the way you grab attention, despite it now seemingly about to be directed to someone in the room.

"your eyes are very pretty." you stop in front of him, and the class grows quiet. you look down at him, the soft light around you a little brighter. he feels his cheeks flush, as he nods in confusion. "do they glow brighter the more i make you nervous?" you tease, and he looks away.

"cute." you slide his syllabus in front of him, and he takes it with a soft thank you.

his eyes were the only thing that gave him that something that people always mentioned. they swirled, every now and again, the brown glowing slightly violet at their own will. nobody knew what it was, but it seemed to take your interest. you move forward with the lecture, not even attempting to hide the subtle boredom in your voice as you go over the syllabus.

"i will see you all on thursday! have a safe night!" you cheer, and the students seem to bask in your happiness as you let them out of the room. you float about, and catch chan at the tail end of the gaggle of students. "you, pretty eyes."

his headphones are in the way, and you place your hand on his arm. his skin is warm to the touch, and he jumps at the contact before turning around, sliding them off. "oh, i'm sorry. did you need me?" "i just wanted to say, i hope my teasing didn't make you uncomfortable. sometimes it just slips out." you smile, and you notice one..two dimples make their presence on his cheeks. "don't worry, it's alright. is that all?" "no, actually." you hold up his file, and he seems to know exactly what's coming. "i don't know my abilities, if that's what you're going to ask. and i won't answer any questions about my parents, that's also in there."

his eyes hold something heavy, and you notice your glow dim as he speaks. if he does, he doesn't mention it. "alright, then i guess that's it. i'm sorry if i disturbed some emotional blockage." your brows furrow lightly, and he raises his own.

"whatever." he mumbles, and slides his headphones back on. he walks away, and you feel your lips tug into a frown. you wonder what his problem is as you walk back into your classroom, sliding the file into your desk drawer.

"you try and make a classroom a home." 

thursday – november 12.

from: [email protected]

hello, chan. this is professor y/l/n. i noticed you didn't show up to class last thursday, tuesday, or tonight.

i took it upon myself to look into your file again, with permission from the administration. i want to apologize for the sudden hot seat on tuesday after class, i was unaware of your situation and just wanted some insight. i can see how this made you uncomfortable, and i am sorry for causing said discomfort. i want you to be able to enjoy my class, and hopefully we can traverse that journey together.

that being said, i have come up with a new assignment for you, for the time being. since you don't really know what your specialties are, i can't grade based on performance or any papers delving into how they affect your life, personality, etc.

below is the rubric designed for this assignment. i spoke to the administration, and they're on board with this approach. if anything is too much, please don't hesitate to send me an email, or a text. my number is also below. have a good weekend!

signed,

y/n y/l/n

identity theory

spellbound institute of magic

psychology department

555-8212

he's been staring at this email for the last half hour. he even let hyunjin read over it, asking if he was seeing shit.

he'd skipped your class on thursday, and today. he didn't want to see you, so he avoided the psych hall altogether. he didn't really know how to feel as he switched tabs to the rubric you'd sent, essentially just saying you wanted an essay on how he's been coping with not being sure of his path in life.

how does he feel about it? does it bother him, and if he could pick, which abilities would he pick? his brain says the ability to never see you again, but his heart pangs as he rereads the postscript at the bottom of your email.

p.s. i am once again very sorry. i hope to see you in class on thursday, channie. - y/n

channie. ugh, his heart ached. he'd been so rude.

"you're thinking too hard." changbin sings from the living room, and chan sighs. "how would you know? you can't read minds." he rolls his eyes, shutting his laptop. changbin walks into the dining room, leaning over the back of a chair. "i know that look. the furrowed brows, the pout. you're thinking way too hard about this, and it was an honest mistake on your professor's part. you need to apologize, you grumpy bitch." "yeah, i don't really think it's a huge deal, either." hyunjin chimes in from the kitchen, and chan frowns. "you guys think i'm being overdramatic?" "i think your emotional repression is getting to you, you've been so insufferable lately. when's the last time you got laid?" hyunjin teases as he slides into a chair, and changbin wiggles his brows in agreement. "ugh, don't even." chan slumps his head against the wall. maybe seven months? he has a lot of pent up frustration. maybe not enough to write about his feelings and how annoyed it made him that you were digging into his life this early into him meeting you. what did you need to know, anyway? "isn't your professor that compassion conjurer paradigm? i heard the speech she gave at the convention last year, and i saw the photos. she's gorgeous, that glow around her all the time?" changbin whistles smoothly, and chan's stomach does a flip. he also saw the photos, but couldn't bring himself to think anything of them. he barely remembers watching your speech, too, but he certainly remembers the way your hips swayed as you walked off the stage.

he grimaces, feeling a bit gross at ogling you.

"she's fine." he shrugs, and changbin gives hyunjin a knowing look. "so, she's hot and you're into her. that's why she has you so worked up."

"i beg your finest fucking pardon, seo?" chan blinks, and hyunjin smirks. "then beg, channie. i'm sure professor y/l/n would like it if you did, she seems like the type. get on some dating apps, man. you need stress relief." chan scoffs, shoving his laptop into his backpack. "i'll be in my room, if you decide to stop talking about romancing my professor."

hyunjin and changbin snicker as chan storms off, his door slamming behind him as he flops onto his bed. sure, you were…okay. okay, you're hot. you're so fucking hot.

but, he doesn't like you. he doesn't like that you put him on the spot, and he doesn't like that you intended to ask so many personal questions right off the bat. he also doesn't like that his roommates are probably right – he probably is angry because he needs to get laid.

he groans into his pillow, fishing his phone out of his pocket. he unlocks it, opening the stupid app. "spellbound soulmates, how dumb." he mutters, unpausing his profile. he goes through it, updating photos and prompts. once he's satisfied, he goes to his deck.

left. left. left. left. right. right. left. left.

y/n, 26

compassion conjurer, benevolence magic

biography: sexy as fuck by day, sexy psych prof by night. everything you've heard is true.

interests: if your ass is phat, swipe right 🥵

his eyes widen, your smiling face staring back at him. scrolling through your profile, he sees mostly modest photos – you holding a tray of shots being the most scandalous. not a sliver of skin showing above your waist, but plenty of short skirts showing off your full thighs. you're smiling in every photo, but he can't think of anything except your lips parted, your thighs around his head. moaning his name.

alright, chris. he thinks. chill the fuck out.

he contemplates it for a bit, scrolling up and down your profile when he just shakes his head, closing the app and tossing his phone to the side. he flips onto his back, letting the pillow close around his ears.

he hates to admit it, because he doesn't know you. he doesn't dislike you, per say. but he's not very fond of your subtle insistence.

it's not necessarily your fault, but he really doesn't like talking about his family, especially his parents. only his friends know, and even then, it took all of four years to even bring it up. the fact that they're humans is a huge deal, and he can't risk their safety like that.

not to mention, admissions begged him to keep it a secret. they were toeing the line, chan being the third person in the university's history to have human parents. they knew about the world of magic, but didn't really have the abilities to take care of chan the way it was necessary.

so they didn't. they sent him to boarding school from a young age, and made it a point to frequently visit him. he sees them at least four times a year, but it's never enough time. he feels like he's missing a place to call home. 

he feels so alone.

it's not your fault. and he knows he needs to apologize. he just has too much pride right now.

he hears a knock, and changbin opens the door. "hey, what are you doing? i'm going to the gym, want to come with?" chan sighs, before forcing himself out of bed.

tuesday – november 17.

he's sitting on your couch today.

legs spread, hair tucked under a cap. black, like the rest of his clothes. he looks relaxed, his fingers dancing across his laptop as yugyeom shows him something on his phone. he just nods, and you can't make out what his lips say. 

you'd been feeling terrible about the events of last week, and hadn't gotten so much as an email from him. not about the assignment, not about how he clearly hates you, or even addressing your apology. you didn't understand him, but you don't know him, either.

the past three classes, you'd gotten to know your students. minnie, soyeon and shuhua were your favorite (and only) group, giggling in the corner over their laptops. they were all herbomancers, and you could tell simply based on how giggly they were. they chatted, and last thursday, shuhua was so high she just sat against her chair and stared into the abyss. you found it a little funny, when soyeon and minnie would have to drag her out of your class.

mingyu was a constant flirt, and you attributed it to his matchmaking expertise. he was one of the few cupidancers on campus, and you'd seen him about before. he had the ability to entrance people, to get them high off his attention, and you often saw girls with hearts in their eyes after speaking to him. it was quite the sight, to see someone emotionally orgasm. the fact that you were his professor didn't stop him from smiling at you, making suggestive comments, overall trying to weasel into your heart. you simply played his game, making him flustered.

yugyeom was too enthralled with his phone, and his girlfriend, to complete the assignments. the fact that minnie had slid eighty dollars his way told you his spirit weaving ways were some for the books – and so did minnie – as she rambled about a party at beta tau that past weekend. "you should come sometime, y/n. you'd get so wasted but it'd be so worth it."

you liked that they felt so at ease with you, speaking to you like you were nothing special. you liked being their age, being able to relate to the crazy parties and not worry about how you'd get home the morning after. you enjoyed the intimacy of the small class, but not the coldness surrounding who you would deem your most intriguing student.

he just sits there and he looks so nice. the slope of his neck, the way his fingers bounce on the keys of his laptop. the sheen of his lips from the cherry lip balm he applies three or four times over the two hours of your class. the way your hue almost changes from gold to pink from staring at him, and you know you catch some of their eyes as it tries.

"why do you glow, y/n?" you can hear minnie's hazy voice from the back of the room, and you feel yourself a bit dimmer than usual as you fight down the feelings of lust. "i actually don't know. the master sorcerers never told me, but i know it can be several different colors. care to ask me what they mean?" you wiggle your brows, and minnie giggles.

"pink means you're turned on, huh?" mingyu calls from his seat between shuhua and soyeon, earning a smack from both of them. you chuckle as he pouts, "what? i hooked up with a compassion conjurer last year in the second dimension, forgive me for assuming." "i thought you were bitchless, gyu? what a nice surprise, loverboy." shuhua teases, and mingyu just rolls his eyes. "well, he's not wrong."

their heads whip back to you, and you're purposely glowing gold. you're glad they don't make it weird, their eyes full of glee. "i know those sex flashbacks gotta be good, y/n." minnie giggles, and sighs dreamily. "i once got one in undergrad during the ochem final. i ran out of time and ran out of time and failed."

you laugh, floating closer to their table. "the colors mean a lot of things. i can also change them at will, if one isn't overpowering the other. the hues and brightness also amplify how i feel, which makes it really hard to hide any of my thoughts. for example," you pause, closing your eyes. you feel the warmth of blue overtake you, and hear a soft ooh. 

opening your eyes, you give a quick spin. "blue means i'm sad, disappointed, or at ease. i rarely get this one, it usually happens when i'm with my closest friends and can act on impulse."

the quartet looks amazed as you continue to change colors, explaining them slowly.

green, for envy, and disgust. you also rarely turn this color, and it is amongst the most dim that you've ever been. pink, for lust. you say it's your favorite color, but not your favorite feeling. orange for anger, and you recall that you only turned this color when in your mother's presence, and that you hated this one. silver, for remembrance and emptiness, and they don't require an explanation as the light grows brighter, your face deepening in sadness before you shake your head.

you exhale, before letting the cold of indigo overtake you. they gasp, and you feel shivers rack your body before you can finally speak.

"this is the only one i don't understand. i can make it seem darker, too." you say calmly, eyeing the dimness of it. it glowed almost like a blacklight, and at your will, it turned a deep violet, lining your extremities in black pixels. "have you ever felt it before?" soyeon pops a piece of gum in her mouth, offering a piece to you. taking one gently, you shrug as you unwrap it.

"nope. this one feels cold, though. the others feel warmer, like a blanket. this is like, sub-zero temperatures." you slide the piece into your mouth, feeling your golden glow return as you speak. "that's so cool, though. thank you for sharing." shuhua is gazing at you, fondness riddled in her eyes. you feel your cheeks heat, as you smile.

"my pleasure. class is over in twenty minutes, so wrap up whatever it is you're doing and i might let you guys dip out early." you nod at them, floating in the direction of yugyeom and chan. looking up from your gum wrapper, you see chan looking at you intently, his eyes slightly swirling with that same violet glow from tuesday.

"hey, pretty eyes. so kind of you to grace us with your presence today." your teasing makes him grimace, a hint of annoyance flashing through his eyes. "paying for the class, might as well pay attention." he mutters, echoing the first words you said to yugyeom.

your brows furrow at his attitude, and you watch yugyeom slip away, beckoned by minnie with a piece of pink paper. chan glances at you, closing his laptop and shoving it in his bag with indignance. "why are you acting like this? i already apologized." you feel your glow flash orange, before feeling the soft tinge of blue creeping up your back. his eyes are still violet, but they've softened. "i'm just trying to help you, chan."

"i don't think you can help, when you're part of the problem." he mumbles, his gaze never moving from your eyes. you sense blue creeping up your neck, and succumb to it, letting it blaze. "how disappointing, for a teacher to try and aid you in finding your path of life." your annoyance is visible as you spin, directing your attention to the gaggle of students watching your interaction. soyeon's eyes are wide as you dismiss them, asking them to please let the door close instead of leaving it propped open.

the words aren't even out of your mouth when you hear the door slam, yugyeom pitiful eyes confirming your thoughts. they begin to stand up, heading for the door when yugyeom splits from them, circling back to you.

"don't worry about chan. he's being a dick, it's not your fault." he places a hand on your shoulder, and you give him a sad smile. "i know, yug. i know."

a soft squeeze to your shoulder and he's gone, you're alone in your room. you sigh deeply, letting the most overwhelming hue of all take over.

the same dark red you felt all those years ago, letting it overwhelm you entirely. you sink into your desk chair, letting the soft burn of grief sink into your skin. you can close your eyes and still see it, the wine color in front of you. the one that matches your nails, and on occasion, your lipstick. the one that makes you ache the most, and yearn for those who are no longer here.

you miss him.

just like you miss chan's wide eyes, not having heard the creak of the wooden door in your turmoil. he slips away.

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

later that night, you're sitting in your bathtub, letting the hot water relax your muscles. you hear your phone ping, and you reach for it.

from: [email protected]

hello, professor y/l/n. i have read your email a few times since it was sent.

i accept your apology. i also accept this assignment, and will submit it as my final project grade, as per the rubric allows.

that being said, i will not be in class on thursday due to a prior commitment. feel free to email me back with any questions you may have, only those regarding the assignment will be answered.

signed,

bang christopher chan

spellbound institute of magic

general magic

you glare at the email, and let orange flicker like the light of your limoncello candle. you made no effort to question it, simply letting it slide. you send back an automated reply, sounds good! have a good weekend.

thursday – november 19.

chan hated meeting his parents in secret.

like it were a crime, to want to see them. he hated acting like it didn’t bother him that his siblings were growing up and he didn’t know them, he didn’t know what they liked, or what they did for fun. he felt so left out of everything, but still framed the photos they sent him. he still tucked their letters in a box for safe keeping, he still yearned to be loved by them.

not that they didn’t love him, but obviously it’s hard to do so from a distance. so they sit in the middle of the forest that surrounds the university, exactly 50 miles from all civilization. they sit there, for hours, and catch up.

“any luck yet?” his father peers at chan over a steaming plate of food, and he shakes his head. “no answers yet. if i don’t find out before the end of the semester, the master sorcerers said they’d figure something out.”

his mother sighs, her spoon stirring the canteen that held her warm coffee. "it'll be alright soon, channie. have you focused on other things? maybe find a nice girl to settle down with?" his father watches as chan visibly tenses, before pulling his wife close. "jagi, maybe that's for another time." she grimaces.

"i disagree. if he's having issues with other parts of his life, he needs to put it on the back burner for a second and figure out other parts. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? the goal of life is to not let one bad thing, or one disappointing moment deter you from finding the answer to your qualms." she rolls her eyes, earning a smile from her husband.

"okay, she has a point." his father relents, and chan just shakes his head. "i'm not ready for a relationship.' "what about that girl, sooyoung?" his mother won't back down and he knows that. "moving on from my love life, i'm content. i'm fine with things, i have my friends, i have my studies. i'll get an answer eventually." he shrugs, trying not to let it show how much it gets to him.

"chan." she slides her arm across the picnic table, grasping his hand gently. "you're not happy. you can't possibly be, with all the turmoil you feel. you're like an angsty teenager who has never stepped outside his room." "yeah, well. life goes on." he mutters, and she feels her heart sink as he pulls his hand away, checking the time on his watch. "i think i'd better start heading back. i have an early day tomorrow." he's lying. they know it, but they begrudgingly allow him to bid them goodbye. they watch him 

walk to his car, and flash his hi-beams as a final farewell before pulling off.

thursday - november 26.

it's been about a month since chan started taking your class. 

and it's been about a month since he's been able to say a single word to you without the same tone of indignance on the tip of his tongue. seeing him look indifferent in the back of your classroom made it all the better, though, because at least now he was in class. he didn't speak to you unless you spoke to him first, but he was on time and attentive.

you liked something about him, but you didn't really know what. it's quite possible you just have a little lustful wishing for him, but it felt…weird. it felt strange, you could practically feel your skin on fire every time you glanced at him, catching his eyes every once in a while. he never held the gaze for longer than a few seconds. 

as for his violet eyes, you hadn't seen them since. you saw him smile with yugyeom. you've heard him laugh, the sound so sweet to your ears. you hated that your glow was so evident when his giggle resounded in the classroom.

you thought nobody noticed, the students didn't treat you any differently than their own friends. soyeon, minnie and shuhua made it a point to start inviting you out to drinks, and mingyu flirted with you relentlessly. you simply took the interactions in stride, and smiled politely as you kept the lectures going.

but tonight? chan wasn't in class (again) so you didn't have anyone to fawn over. mingyu was front and center, and the girls gathered around him as they conspired amongst themselves. they weren't very secretive, and you could hear them giggling as you floated over.

"what's the joke? i want to laugh, too." you teased with a soft smile, and mingyu flashed you his pearly whites before turning his phone at you.

message from: doyeon

[9:03pm] hey mingyu! tell yug i'm waiting for him at the party, and bring the girls with you!

[9:04pm] see if you can convince your professor to come, too 👀 i've seen her and she's hot! maybe she can take eunwoo off our hands, i'm sick of him moping over jisoo

you chuckle, your glow brightening a bit. "you guys want me to go to a party, at a frat house, on a school night?" shuhua nods her head, a giggle falling from her lips. "c'mon, y/n! live a little, there's going to be so many cute boys there." 

"yeah, y/n! plus, a little bird told me a certain purple eyed boy will be there." minnie wiggles her brows at you, and you smirk. "yeah? chan skipped my class for a party?" you glance at his empty spot on the couch, your glow dimming.

"c'mon, y/n. we all know you have the hots for him." mingyu says matter-of-factly, and you laugh. "i do not! he doesn't even speak in class, i don't know anything about him." you shrug, and mingyu smirks. "i've seen the way you look at him!" minnie chimes in, and you shake your head. "so what if you don't? he's hot and you're into that. he has nice muscles, i've seen him at the gym." mingyu sounds like he's trying to convince you, and you give him a smile before patting his shoulder. his cheeks tinge as you whisper, "are they as nice as yours?" soyeon teases mingyu as you float away, and their words stay with you as the class continues for another forty minutes. you type away at your desk as you bid them goodbye, but don't miss minnie sneaking away from her group to hand you a piece of pink paper.

"the address, in case you do want to see chan tonight." she slides it across the desk, a shy smile playing on her lips as she walks away. you glance at it, grimacing at the beta tau seal.

you sigh, pulling your phone to map the walk there from your apartment, receiving a text from your friend, jihyo.

message from: jihyo <3

[9:55pm] hey, you! come with me to a party, i want to scout for booty tonight 👀 i heard beta tau is having one

message to: jihyo <3

[9:57pm] funnily enough, i was about to text you, i got an invite. captain booty reporting for duty 🫡 wear something hot!

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

the party was already in full swing when you and jihyo arrived, pinkies linked. it was apparently a student's birthday party, a short stop on the baseball team. you didn't keep up with the university's sports, but managed to snag a piece of birthday cake in a cup (meaning you dumped the rest of the pink whitney into your cup, and a splash of lemonade) as you let jihyo roam.

"y/n, you made it! you look so hot." you hear minnie from behind you, and you swirl to see her holding onto mingyu. "hey, guys! sick party, my friend jihyo also wanted to come." you shrug, taking a sip from your cup, and minnie gives you a knowing smile.

"hey, don't worry about it. lover boy hasn't kissed anyone since he's been here." minnie moves her head in the direction behind you, and you twist to see chan holding a red solo cup and talking to another student, short with wire rimmed glasses, and a waist you could only dream of. you turn back to minnie, who just winks at you before pulling mingyu away with her.

your body twists to look at chan, trailing your eyes down his figure. he's got on a white muscle tee, and mingyu had not been lying about his body at all. his chest donned what seems to be a rosary, nestled between his pecs that bounced lightly as he laughed. a sliver of his lower stomach was visible, mostly covered by a jacket he likely took off, but the red on the lapels looked good against his skin. silver hoops looped through his lobes and if you didn't sink your teeth into him soon, you were going to combust.

you don't have a crush on chan. not in the slightest. but, you're not blind.

you decided to worm your way to the bathroom, but you didn't realize his friend had spotted you staring. nor that chan's eyes were on you now, wondering what you were doing at a party on a school night, in that short black skirt and soft, flimsy blouse – with no bra. his eyes roll, asking himself why you manage to torture him this way. your coat is long, and covers most of your thighs as you walk away. he winces at the twitch of his cock against his pants.

"professor! what are you doing here!" you hear yugyeom shout from across the room, eliciting a woo from all the people at the party. you smile, and hold up your cup. "hey, yug!"

he waves you over, and you oblige, downing the rest of your drink. "here, try this! i made it." he holds up a long, brown bottle – and you smirk, letting him pour it into your mouth. a bunch of students are watching you down this burning liquor without a second thought, a low whistle emitting from one in particular.

tall, handsome. nicely chiseled face, hair slicked back. barely dressed. slutty.

not chan.

"who invited the trophy wife of the administration? that was hot as fuck." he leans on soyeon, who huffs and shoves him off. "shut up, san."

minnie screams before you can answer. "i invited her! she's cool as fuck, drinks up and tits out for professor y/l/n! wooo!" the crowd that had formed around you took their drinks, a few girls flashing their breasts at you. you let a laugh rip through you when you spot jihyo smiling at you in the crowd before knocking back the rest of her drink. you point to the hallway, signaling you're going to continue your way to a bathroom, before you suffocate on the smell of buchanan's and cheap beer.

the house gets quieter the deeper you go, aside from soft moans coming from a linen closet, obscene wet noises making you shiver as you turn left, finding a clean bathroom. you leave the door slightly ajar as you splash cool water on your cheeks. you let it drip through your lashes before you grab for the toilet roll, only to see someone slip into the bathroom in the mirror. 

"hey." chan's voice is low as you pat the toilet paper on your face, and you glance at him. "hey. skipped my class for a party, huh?" "what are you doing here?" he doesn't sound upset, moreso amused. his eyes shamelessly rake up your legs, and you give a snort in reply. "minnie invited me, and my friend jihyo wanted to scope out some ass." 

"yeah?" his eyes flicker to yours in the mirror, the violet swirl evident, and you feel your thighs clench in his gaze. your glow starts to change hues, and you roll your eyes as you glow pink instead of your normal yellow. "yeah. why, channie? are you here looking for babes?" you turn, letting the liquor talk as you lean against the sink.

"would it bother you if i was?" he tilts his head, sort of like a lost puppy. you smirk, shaking your head. "why would it bother me if my student wants to get some?" "do you always play this little game with your students, professor?" he takes a step closer, and you curse yourself for glowing a little brighter, but shrug as nonchalantly as you can. "beats being uptight like professor callaghan."

"god, you're so right." he chuckles, before his hands cage you in between his body and the sink. "i bet this glow thing gets really annoying, huh?" "you have no idea." you look up into his eyes, subconsciously tucking your bottom lip under your teeth. you wonder why he’s not questioning the color change, maybe he just knows, maybe he was listening last week. you wonder how many girls he’s gotten with, and how many he’s romanced with those angel eyes of his. "you look good." he says gently, almost as if he's giving you an out. almost as if, he's nervous.

"i taste good, too." you mumble, ghosting your lips over his. you can feel your skin start to singe, but you let him kiss you anyway. you let him lift you onto the sink, parting your legs to stand between them. you let him run his hands up your plush thighs, leaning into the kiss as deep as you can without completely absorbing him.

“can’t you get in trouble for this?” chan doesn’t really care, to be honest. you can tell he doesn’t as he drags his lips down your neck, his fingers tugging your skirt up gently. “hmm, no. not me, anyway. trophy wife of the administration privileges.” 

he laughs against your skin, and you give him a cheeky smile as he kisses your lips again, his thumbs gently working circles into your hips. “i don’t want to do this here. let’s find a room, yeah?” "mmm, i don't think so. students who don't participate in class don't get extra credit." you pout, patting his chest when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

message from: jihyo <3

[11:47pm] saw you dip with cutie, so i cozied up to that mingyu guy

[11:48pm] going back to his, u can get home safe?

[11:49pm] i'll turn around if u can't. bros before hoes 💪🏻

message to: jihyo <3

[11:51pm] go ahead <3 txt me deets l8r he's a massive flirt lol

you slide it back into your pocket, and chan's hands leave your skin. he quietly moves your skirt back into place, and his eyes flicker to meet yours. he doesn't look upset at your rejection, moreso a bit grateful. "you're cute. you ask too many questions, and i'm still upset with you, but you're incredibly cute."

it's just the liquor talking. he won't remember any of this, or change his behavior by tuesday. he seems to hold grudges, but you know it's really just emotional blockage. nothing you can't help with, but everything he won't let you help with.

"maybe come to class and i might let you cum in me. you'd like that, wouldn't you?" you mumble against his lips, a shiver going through his spine. "let me walk you home." he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against yours. you feel your stomach flip, the gesture so cute you just might let him sleep with you. you capture his lips again, sliding your hand up his chest, fingers softly wrapped at the base of his neck. his hand catches your wrist, sliding it higher.

you give it a soft squeeze as you slither your tongue into his mouth, drawing a soft groan from him. he pulls back, your lips chasing after him as he raises an eyebrow. "who's needy now, huh?" "shut up, let's go." you place a peck to his cheek, and you force your glow back to gold, albeit dimmer than normal. he has his hand on the small of your back as you exit the bathroom. he slides it around your waist, his fingers softly digging into your hip before he stops dead in his tracks. "what?"

you're whispering as you follow his eyes, seeing a blond guy in a baseball jersey staring back at him as he sneaks out of the closet you passed. a girl is gripping his hand, floating behind him. the guy turns on his heels, quickly weaving his way through the people crowding the hall, the girl giving a hazy smile as he drags her through.

"in a closet? really?" he shakes his head, and you feel his hand squeeze your waist. "sorry." "no worries. could've been us if you showed up to class." you tease as he guides you through the crowd, and you spot minnie watching you sneak your way through the people. she wiggles her eyebrows, and you just shake your head as chan opens the front door, letting you out first as he grabs his jacket from his friend.

"shit, it's colder than a witch's tits out here." you chatter, and chan quickly joins you on the porch, sliding the jacket over his arms. "it really is. which way do you live?" the walk is quiet, besides the leaves crunching under your shoes. he's close enough that his cologne meets your nose, but not close enough to where you can touch him and not be overdoing it. the taste of his lips was not enough to satiate you.

"why are you so mean to me?" you ask, not daring to look at him. he hums in response, before grabbing your shoulders, swinging his arm over you. you instinctively wrap your own around his waist, your fingers brushing the same sliver of skin you'd eyed earlier that night. you're burning up against him, and he welcomes the heat as your hips bump.

"i'm normally not this uptight." he starts, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "i don't like answering questions about my personal life, much less my abilities. or lack thereof, rather. it was too soon when you asked, i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm very lost in that area of my life, and if i don't find out soon, i'm not sure how i'll make a living. please don't think i'm only this way with you, i'm just feeling stuck. it's like i'm running out of time." you take in his words, nodding silently. you know your magic is taking over him as he speaks, because you feel your glow dimming more and more as you keep walking. "i don't know what that feels like, chan. i'm sorry, genuinely. i truly do want you to understand that i am here to help as much as i can, not just as a professor but as…a friend, i guess." "mmh, i don't think you can help." he squeezes your arm gently as you make a left turn. "i'm too far gone, i believe. i thought about what you said, the emotional blockage thing. and i know that you're using your fingers to seep your funky little magic into me so i talk about myself and get things moving for your peace of mind." his fingers pat yours lingering on his hip, and you sheepishly go to move them.

he holds them in place, as you guide him to the gate of your complex. "i don't mind talking to you, or answering your questions. i really, really admire you as a person and sorceress. the selflessness, you're one of the kindest people i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. you just have to give me some time to warm up to you."

he stops in front of the gate, letting you punch in the code before sliding his arm off your shoulders. "i want to apologize for my behavior. i know i've been increasingly bitchy and standoffish, i'm just stressed. i'm sorry, and i'm sorry for taking it out on you. i know you're just trying to help."

"won't you come in? it's rather late and i'd hate to have you walk back alone." your eyes are slightly pleading, and he raises a brow. "are you sure?" 

you shrug, holding the gate open. he walks past you, not comfortable enough to slide his arm over you once more. he feels the warmth of you as you float past, and he follows quietly. unlocking the door, his eyes peer into your apartment, and it's just like your classroom. 

the lights are dimmed, and your couch is the same velvety green. it smells like bambinella pear and bergamot, and your walls are littered with photos and articles. many of them penned by you, he notices, as he skims them. "feel at home?" you chuckle, and he hears the rustling of your coat as you slip it off.

"mhm, it smells nice in here." he nods as he continues observing articles, before bumping into your side table. he looks down and sees a newspaper from seven years ago, a smiling face staring back at him.

spellbound prodigy involved in an automobile accident puts the world of wizardry at risk.

he skims the paper, seeing your name repeated over and over again but yet, no mention of the person in the photo. no age, no name.

"oh, you found that?" you're behind him, and you take hold of the paper, letting it droop over your hands. "who is that?" you sigh, your fingernail tracing the man's face. "minhwi. he was my best friend from primary school until the summer of 2017. that's when the accident happened." setting the paper back down, you pat the picture before floating to the kitchen, your golden glow gone as it begins to turn dark red.

"it's grief, the hue." you wave your hand at yourself as chan leans against the island, his eyes softening as you pour water in a glass, sliding it to him. the color dims as you turn to him, sitting on the bar stool. "i know, you're wondering how i'm involved in the accident."

chan looks down, and you let out an airy chuckle. "god, i hate talking about this." you rub your thighs, before looking up. "he told me he was in love with someone, and i encouraged him to make the hour drive to see her. i even offered to tag along, even though it was into the human world."

you're nervous, and chan can feel it. he rounds the island, sliding onto the stool beside you. you twist to face him as he takes your hands in his. how cute, you think.

"there was a really bad thunderstorm, but minhwi literally used to race cars for money. rain or shine, he was an expert behind the wheel. he won so many, and i was there for almost all of them. he called me his biggest cheerleader." chan's thumb wipes at your face, and you hadn't even known you were crying. you feel your chest ache as his hand lingers, before dropping back to your lap. "lightning struck one of the oak trees lining the backway route into town. minhwi tried to swerve out of the way, and we wound up spinning out. the tree landed on the car, and the weight crushed us, and there was glass everywhere. he died on impact."

you sniffle, and chan's eyes are glossy as he clears his throat. "and you blame yourself?" "absolutely." nodding, you interlace your fingers with chan's. "and the fact that i survived and he didn't, it kills me inside. it's not like he would've been able to, he was a…" you trail off, and chan's eyes match yours in size.

"...he was human." he finished, and you can't look at him. "you exposed the world of magic and our practices, to a human." you stay silent, before his arms envelope you in a hug. the burn you feel is almost debilitating, but you feel blue crawling up your neck as he rubs your back softly. "i'm sorry for your loss, y/n."

"that's it?" you blurt, and he laughs against your neck like he did earlier. "yeah, it's not like i can judge you, and it's not like humans don't know we exist. we're just frowned upon, it's not a crime to involve yourself with them. love makes us do crazy things." he pulls back, and you let blue overtake you. "i'm genuinely sorry about your friend. he sounds like he was a great time." "he was. i haven't talked about him since. all i have left is the scars from the accident." you shrug, taking a sip of your water. "scars?"

you flash a smile at him, before shaking your head. "just know, if i ever do let you in my pants, the shirt stays on, not because i'm insecure but because i hate looking at them."

he nods, a shy look crossing his eyes before he closes them. "can i ask you for a favor? before you go to bed, i mean?" "sure, anything." you tuck your hair behind your ears, sitting up. "that emotional blockage you spoke about, you can…remove that, right? i'm not too sure what your powers are." he mumbles as he picks at his nails, and you smile. "i can. would you like me to do that for you?" his eyes look to yours, and you see fear flash through them. "it doesn't hurt, channie. come on, i can do it right now." you slide off the stool, holding your hand out to him. he takes your hand, but instead of following you, he pulls you towards him.

your chest is flush to his, and you see a subtle blush on his cheeks as he dips his head, lips brushing against yours. you relax in his hold, letting your lips mold against his. you can't feel anything but heat and his tongue teasing yours, but it's no big deal (you're trying to convince yourself at this point.) his hands move to hold your face, his fingers burning your skin when he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours.

"not tonight, i don't think i'm ready." he whispers against your lips, and you open your eyes to look into his hazy ones. nodding, you press another chaste kiss on his mouth. "whenever you're ready, channie. i'll be here."

"i'll take the couch." he plants one last kiss on your forehead, and you nod. "if you insist. goodnight, channie." "goodnight, y/n." he watches your glowing form trail down the hall, likely towards your bedroom.

and he sees a hint of indigo spreading across your back as you shut the door behind you.

tuesday – december 15.

chan is a lot nicer as the next two weeks go by. still shows up to class, even early, since your escapade after the party. he finds himself staring at you more often than not, and you're not the only one who notices.

minnie often slips you knowing looks, and you find yourself growing shy as you look to see chan peeking at you over his laptop, eyes glowing that bright violet you've come to adore.

"alright, everybody. have a good weekend!" you smile cheerfully as they file out, your glow now bright blue. the girls had mentioned you looked much more relaxed these days, and you attributed it to 'more sleep.'

you didn't really know what it was. you'd woken up glowing indigo the day after the party, and almost everyday after that. you flickered indigo when you caught chan in the hallway before class on tuesday, and when he hung back a little too long on thursday. really, if you even glanced at chan, you'd flash the dark color and leave the students rubbing at their eyes.

chan, on the other hand, was constantly looking for ways to talk to you.

he saw the flustered flickering, the confusion of your body as it glitched from hue to hue. at one point you had splotches of indigo, pink and your natural gold all over you. you still flirted back at mingyu's advances, albeit he calmed down noticeably. he observed that mingyu was on his phone more often, and you later found out through minnie that he was utterly romanced by jihyo. you thought it funny, and teased him about it (and jihyo, the next time you saw her for coffee and pastries.)

"hey, can we talk?" chan is standing behind you as you wave off your students, and you jump at the closeness. "sure, channie. what's up? is this about your final project?"

it wasn't an unreasonable question. the semester was coming to an end, the students looked visibly stressed and you hadn't heard of any parties since.

but, you knew it was unreasonable for your situation with chan. you never missed his longing glances at your lips, or the fact that he was early to class. his friends changbin and jisung often trailed behind him as he walked to class, and he only introduced you to them because they wouldn't stop badgering him at the doorway. "she's even prettier up close," jisung had said dreamily, and you just gave him a soft smile as you watched him bump into the doorframe.

"not really? maybe." he rubs his neck, and you tilt your head. "what's going on?" 

"uh, i think i'm ready. for what we talked about…the night of the party." he swallows thickly, and you feel taken aback. "oh? what brought this on?" you float to the back, patting the same couch he sits in during class. you tuck your legs under you, holding your head up with the wall. his knees brush yours as he sits, and you wince at the heat you feel in your chest.

"i started the essay you assigned last night." he can't look at you, and you find your stomach to grow increasingly tight. "yeah?" "i can't write anything. i have six drafts already, and i feel so overwhelmed." he's nibbling on his lip, almost as though not to cry. you lean closer, his eyes glassy as they meet yours. frowning, your hand finds home on his jaw, your thumb wiping a few fallen tears. "i'm here, i can help. we can do it here." 

you get up, moving the tables back towards the walls. he watches you as you move, and your back is splotched with indigo. he still doesn't know what it means, but you shiver as it creeps up your neck. your hand flies to your nape, rubbing your skin. it dissipates, returning to your golden glow.

"need an open space. are you sure?" you motion for him to join you in the center of the room, and he nods. you can already feel the same heat on your skin as he settles in front of you, and the same eerie cold of indigo on your shoulders. you huff, sliding your cardigan onto the floor and rolling up your sleeves. "i have to touch your skin for this, okay? and don't worry about anything else, just keep your eyes on me." he's nervous as he lets you take his shaky hands, a soft pout on your lips as you close your eyes. "i got you, okay? i won't let anything hurt you, you're strong." you're muttering, but he finds comfort in your words. he's sure you say this to everybody.

until you start glowing a blinding blaze of indigo, your face scrunched, wincing as the room cools significantly. you're brighter than he's ever seen, possibly brighter than the fluorescent lights that line the university halls. your grimace grows as you furrow your brows deeply, the glow around you seemingly like a flame. he just watches silently as you drop one of his hands.

"can you lift your shirt for me?" your voice is strangled. your eyes are screwed shut, and he quickly does so, your hand trembling as it makes contact. your skin feels like it's on fire, and you don't know what's happening that you can only hear ringing. you'd never felt anything this intensely, but you persist as your hand palms around his torso, before reaching the center. you splay your fingers, pressing into his skin. 

you flash green for a second, so quick he almost misses it.

sliding your hand up his chest, you find the base of his throat. a sigh slips through your lips, and you pull him closer. placing his hand on your waist before moving yours in his hair. you flash slightly pink as he slips his other hand on your hip, his fingers digging into your skin. 

"this might feel a little cold." you murmur, and you dim entirely. the glow around you is now gone, a soft grey floating off you. it runs to the floor, like sand, and forms different grainy figures. kind of like…sandcastles. you open your eyes, despite the damn near inferno heat where your skin meets his.

"these are all your blockages." you pull his shirt down, and move his hands from your hips. to your right, is a grainy woman that splits into several more women. next to her, are two figures, who seem to disappear into another figure, a forest. you skirt around him, holding him in place with a hand on his hip. behind him, is another figure.

shaped kind of like you. your thighs, your arms, your hair.

"what…do they mean?" you're snapped out of your process by his voice, and you sigh. "this one…channie, you have to find better coping mechanisms. sleeping with women for stress relief is not good for you. i know it feels good, but there are other things you can do. ever tried puzzles?"

you sink to the floor, pulling him with you. you move the figures next to each other in front of you, the sand-like texture sticking to your skin. gesturing to the women, you keep talking.

"casual sex is awful, when you compare it to relationship sex. shit, even hate sex. at least you feel something other than lust for the person you're fucking." you grimace, and he nods. with a wave of your hand, the sand collapses. "these next three…you can pick which you want first." he glances at them, his hand subconsciously searching for yours. you grab it, and he points at the two people. you let your skin burn as you begin to talk, his fingers tightening around your palm. "these…are your parents, and the forest around the university." the room stills, and chan lets go of your hand. "what about them?" "you're afraid they're not proud of you. you feel like you're missing out on your experiences with them, because…" you wince as an aftershock racks your body, making you shiver. you miss chan's nervous glance. "because they're distant. you feel like an outcast from your family, and it affects the way you form bonds here. it's hard for you to build friendships, and it's hard for you to establish relationships because you fear being loved. or maybe loving, and not being loved back"

taking a breath, you pull your knees to your chest.

"the forest is representative of your lost feeling. all the trees look the same, and it makes you feel like you're constantly going in circles. everyone here is identical, we all have something special. you find it hard to relate because although you know there is something that makes you like us, you're unaware of what it is." he nods, and you let the figures drop.

"this one…" you're mumbling, and he leans slightly closer to hear you. sighing, you pull the figure of you closer. raising your arm, the figure raises her arm. "that's me." his head snaps to look at you, your eyes burning holes into the floor. you glance at the figure, collapsing it. all the figures pool together, and you lean forward, blowing it like you would dust off a bookshelf. it disappears, and chan leans back on his hands.

"what about you?" he murmurs, and you shake your head, moving to lie through your teeth. "i don't know." "you're lying." you feel your glow return, flickering gold. "y/n, tell me what it means." "i can't." you shrug, "i don't know what it means. did this help? do you feel better?"

he's peering at you, his eyes swirling violet. you raise a brow as you look at him over your shoulder, and he just shakes his head. getting up, he stalks back to the couch. you watch as he shoves his arms into his hoodie, and you simply get up, floating towards your desk.

he grabs your arm, pulling you closer to him. you sense the frost of indigo across your mid-back. you turn his hold, eyes glued to his fingers wrapped around your arm. "why?"

"hm?" "why can't you tell me?" his eyes are insistent in their violet glory. chills run down your back, indigo spreading over your hips as you run your eyes over him. he's so beautiful. "because…i can't reciprocate."

he doesn't understand, you can tell as he keeps looking at you. kind of like he wants to eat you alive, but also like he wants you to vanish.

"it means you're in love with me, or you will be. you don't like the idea of it, because it means you'll have to open up to me. that kind of…figure doesn't change, even if you want it to. you won't get the option to leave me out of your heart, and it will be unrequited for the rest of our lives. you will love me, forever, and you won't get a say in it." he lets go, brows furrowed, and his face is deep red in embarrassment. you take a step forward, and your hands instinctively reach for his waist. he allows it as he crosses his arms across his chest, his eyes fixated on you, waiting for you to speak.

"i can't love, chan." you whisper, and feel indigo overwhelm you. pursing your lips, you look down so as to not let him see the tears forming. "trust me when i say i wish i could. i wish i could love you, the way you deserve. i could wake up every morning and reach for you, but you would never be there because i can't give you what you need." the tears are dripping off your face now, pattering on the rug beneath your feet. you let go of him, your fingers tugging your shirt up, slipping it over your head. your hair falls to your shoulders, and you push it back, dropping your shirt on your desk. his eyes soften as he looks at the curve of the wide scar – like an insignia, it's carved into your skin. it starts on your shoulder, curving around it the way a fallen bra strap would. it trails down your sternum, before splitting at your diaphragm. a sharp point ends right under your left breast, while the other curves to the right of your belly button, ending on your hip.

"there is nothing i could do in this world that could ever get me in trouble, because i have this." speaking softly, you lift the cup of your bra, showing him where x marks the spot – directly above your heart. "the coven said this was my punishment for minhwi's involvement in this world, and the outrage i sparked. i can't feel love, and i haven't for so long that even if i did, i wouldn't know what it's like. i won't ever feel what it's like to be loved again, because i don't deserve it."

chan's eyes are glossed over as he brings his hand to your skin, the singe making you grimace as his fingers trace the border lightly. he tucks his lip in his teeth as he touches your shoulder, and your glow flickers slightly brighter. he pulls you in, burying his nose in your hair. "everyone deserves love. this is not your fault, i'm sorry things happened this way." you pull back, his eyes glistening with tears as he thumbs the scar on your shoulder. you give him a sad smile, shrugging in his hold. "it's life. life goes on, but for what it's worth…if i could, i'm sure you'd take great care of me."

"i still can." he says, reaching for your shirt. "i'm a pleaser, really. reciprocation has never been an issue." 

"are you seriously making a pass at me? after i just told you all of that? have some shame." you let an airy chuckle slip through your lips as you take your shirt from him, and he just smiles. one, two dimples. "not being able to love doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to cum. just saying." you gasp, landing a gentle smack on his arm before sliding your shirt on. "chan, stop it! what did i say about casual sex, hm?" pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, he cages you between your desk and his firm chest. "didn't we just talk about this? you know it's not casual." you know it's not casual.

"just once, think about yourself, yeah? do yourself a favor." he places a chaste kiss on your nose, and you feel your cheeks heat as he peppers his lips over them. you let a giggle bubble in your throat, his lips stopping over your lips. "just think about it." he gives your lips a quick kiss, before pulling back.

"it's late, let me walk you home?" he offers a gentle look in his eyes. you just nod, grabbing your purse from the back of your desk. you decide you'll move the tables back on thursday, sliding your cardigan up your arms. "aren't you cold?" he asks, sliding his arm over your shoulders like he did the night of the party, as you lock the classroom door.

"no, actually. i don't know if you feel it, but every time you touch me, i feel like i'm on fire." you chuckle lightly as you start walking, and his breath hitches. glancing at him, he just moves the two of you forward. "chan?" "mhm?" he doesn't look at you, and you stop walking. crossing your arms, he sighs. "it's not a big deal." he shrugs, trying to shake the subject by tugging you slightly closer. you frown, wrapping your arms around his waist. your eyes are fixed on him, and he can't help but coo.

"you're so pretty." he squishes your face with his free hand, and continues walking forward. "does it bother you?" you ask, your fingers drumming on his hip. the air is so frigid, and so is indigo as it fights chan's warmth. you just have to let me warm up to you.

he did so awfully fast.

"does what bother me?" he's tracing circles in your shoulder, the movement scorching. he seems so relaxed, so unperturbed by anything. you'd never seen his face so calm, used to the furrow of his brows or the bags under his eyes darker than they should be. "the fact that i won't be able to love you back." he chuckles, fingers squeezing your shoulder. "i'm used to it, as pathetic as it sounds. love is not my forte, or for the people around me. jisung is surprisingly able to get into almost anyone's pants, and can't settle down for shit. changbin is sickeningly in love with his best friend, and do you remember that guy we saw at the party? the one sneaking out of the closet?" 

you nod, and he laughs. "that's seungmin. that girl he was with, they broke up back in august. they've been fucking around ever since. if they're both at a party, they're hooking up. can't seem to stay away from each other, in a desperate attempt to stay on each other's minds, i guess? it's cute, i think." he shrugs. you feel your heart skip a beat, looking  down to see a white glow on your chest. you ignore it, probably glowing silver as you feel the emptiness, the longing to understand what he means.

"so no. it doesn't bother me, it never will. you get used to it."

it pains you a bit, to hear him sound so…well, used to it. so accustomed to settlement, so unbothered by a lack of reciprocation. selfless, really.

wednesday – december 16.

chan wound up spending the night at your apartment. he insisted on taking the couch before you physically pulled him into your room. the moment his back hit the mattress, he ate his words as you tickled him, forcing him to admit that it was more comfortable.

really, you'd just wanted an excuse to wake up next to him. maybe see his bed head, run your fingers through it, exchange a morning kiss. all of that stupid couple shit that you would never fully experience.

because love makes you do stupid things, like spin out on a backroad and die. so you don't deserve to feel it, and really, it keeps you safe. you have no idea what it's like to love anymore and you pretend you're okay with it. you soothe by saying that not all can be felt, not all that can be desired should be had.

but fuck, if you didn't like chan before, you certainly do now.

there's no reason for this. for him standing in your living room, holding a cup of coffee as he reads through the articles you've written and framed. for him to look so cute in your old abba shirt that's too tight on his arms, for his eyes to be swollen with sleep as he blinks over the mug. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects. on you, on the people in his life.

"you're up." his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you feel your cheeks heat as you nod. "your hair is a mess. here, let me fix it." 

he sets down his cup, calmly running his hand through your mussed hair. the curls fight him as he tucks them behind your ears, his fingers lingering on your lobes as you stare at him. your indigo glow reflects on his skin, his head tilted as he speaks. "what? cat got your tongue, professor?"

your mouth opens to retort, but you have nothing to say. nothing comes out. you feel orange flicker through you as you close your mouth, earning a squeaky laugh from the man in front of you. "cute. there's coffee in the kitchen, i just made it." 

he doesn't have morning classes on wednesdays, you figure as he follows you to the kitchen. because it's eleven thirty and he's still in your apartment, in your shirt, with his hands on your waist, and you don't care one bit as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"are you upset? you haven't said a word." his thumbs work into the small of your back, and you shudder at his touch, before you shake your head. "i'm not used to having people here so early." "it's nearly noon, y/n." he laughs airily, his breath tickling your neck. "still, so early." 

you try and ignore the heat in your chest, far stronger than it had ever been before as his fingers carefully dip below the waistband of your sweats, coming out just as quickly. "you weren't in bed when i woke up." you're muttering, but his proximity makes him hear you anyway.

"aw, did you want to wake up in my arms like they do in the movies?" he's teasing you. you scoff in embarrassment, eyes not catching the subtle white glow on your chest as you turn in his hold. "no way, pft. i like spreading my limbs like a starfish, you were crowding me all night." "hey, i offered to take the couch." he shrugs, and you just shake your head. "should've insisted a little more, then i wouldn't have felt so cold when i realized you weren't there." you joke as you set down your cup, and he raises a brow. "didn't think it would bother you, but that can be fixed." "chan–" you squeal as he hooks his arms under your thighs, your own flying to his shoulders. your legs wrap around his waist as he marches the both of you to your bedroom. "chan, don't you have classes today?" "don't you?" he kisses your forehead gently as he sets you down on your bed, pushing you back lightly. you roll your eyes, trying to hide your excitement as he slips under your duvet. he tugs you closer, your back to his chest. if he cares about the scorching heat of your skin touching, he doesn't mention it as he settles his head in the crook of your neck, reaching to intertwine your fingers with his. he holds your hand tightly, nestling it between your breasts. "if you wanted to touch my boobs, you could've just asked." "shut up, let me hold you. be selfish, for once." he nips at your earlobe, and you sigh. tender kisses trail your neck, and you can feel pink creeping down your thighs as he gives your hand a squeeze. "is this okay?"

"mhm." you can't speak as he lets go of your hand, fingers dancing across the exposed skin of your hip where your shirt has ridden up. he doesn't go up, but instead softly dips into the waistband of your sweats, snapping your underwear against your skin. a whine slips, and you freeze as he pauses. "should i stop?" his voice is raspy in your ear, and your hand grabs his wrist, bringing it lower. "it's alright. you can keep going. f-further, if you want."

you curse yourself at the stutter, hearing a soft chuckle in his throat as his fingers pad over the fabric of your panties. your breath hitches in your throat as he circles the wet spot you've been presented with, a shaky sigh escaping chan as he rocks against you. you feel pink envelope in its warmth as you turn onto your back, holding his hand in place as you capture his lips. he kisses you back fervently, his fingers never stopping their movements on your clothed heat. 

"c-can you…" you whimper against his lips, his hand never slowing as you move against it, brows furrowed. he watches as you try to form words, your eyes screwed shut as your hand tugs his away. "can you go d-down on me?" barely a whisper as you peel your eyes open, and he swears they hold the stars.

"i'd kill a man if you asked me." he shrugs, and you just roll your eyes. tugging your sweats off, he gets a glimpse of the way your panties stick to your lower lips, his heart racing in his chest knowing he's got you soaking.

he could make you cum with them on. he's positive.

spreading your thighs slowly, he watches as you hook your thumbs into the waistband. he pushes your hands away, not bothering to address your confusion as he holds them in place, sinking between your legs. he can't help but tease, dragging his soft lips up your skin, watching you shudder at the contact. he moves to grip your hips, your shirt rising and the end of your scar becoming visible. his eyes flicker to yours, "shirt stays on, right?"

"y-yeah." you look away, and he rubs your hip reassuringly. "s'alright, baby. i can make you cum just like this, if you want."

it's not a question, you can tell as he kisses the pink cotton of your panties. he has no intention of taking them off, he might not even fuck you, but you don't care. all that matters are his eyes peering into your fucking soul as he dips his head down, a chaste kiss pressed to your hip. he trails down, hands circling your plush thighs as he litters them with kisses. your eyes are watching him nervously, lip tucked under your teeth to stop the soft pants from echoing the room. you feel like you can't breathe as he pulls you closer to his face, pressing that strong nose into you, inhaling deeply. "you smell so fucking good, baby." he's not even doing anything, but the vibrations of his moan against you elicit a whimper from your throat, making you buck your hips forward. his grip tightens as he nuzzles his nose against your clit, placing a soft kiss on it before he speaks against it.

"be nice, or i'll make you scream." he smiles into your underwear, tonguing your clit through the fabric. he watches as your glow grows brighter, pulling you impossibly closer. he's letting you grind on his face, to use him for your pleasure, and you'd be lying if that doesn't make you that much more wet for him. "y-you don't want to take them off?"

your stuttering is adorable to him, and the way your fingers card through his hair and tug adds to his own pleasure. shaking his head, he snaps the waistband against you again, "you're so needy, aren't you? can't get off just like this?" "channie, p-please. please, i want your f-fingers." he hums against your clit, continuing his cruel lapping, the sound of your pussy against his face obscene and sloppy. "you can beg better than that. tell me how bad you want it, baby." "w-want it so bad, channie, please. please, i'll be g-good for you, p-promise. s-so good." you're almost sobbing, and he almost feels bad. a gentle laugh leaves his throat as he thumbs your slit, leaving sticky strings against his skin as he gives in. "so good? so, so good for me? is that right?" he slides the flimsy fabric down your legs, the exposure to the cool air making you shiver. he's watching your face contort as he collects your arousal on his fingers, before slowly teasing your entrance. "i swear to god, chan-" your retort gets cut off by a gasp, his fingers hitting just right, his lips sucking tortuously on your clit. he likes it messy, is all you can think in your fucked out state as you coat his entire hand in your slick, feeling him groan against your pussy.

"look at you, so pretty. you're a good girl for me, right? you're gonna soak the sheets, hm?" he feels you clamp around his fingers, another wave of your arousal glazing his palm as you sob. "fuck, you sound so hot." "c-channie..." you rasp, your voice so low he almost misses it. he peers at you over your soft tummy, your lips swollen and covered in your spit from biting back your moans. you're actively whining, grinding against his hand in a weak attempt at reaching your release. "aw, baby wants to cum? is that it?"

you whimper, making him curl his fingers inside your wet heat. he seemed to have found the perfect spot as you arched your back off the bed, attempting to pull away from him. his left arm holds you tightly in place, your fingers clutching his wrist as your choked moan rings blissfully in his ears. your thighs close around him, his soft shh doing nothing to quiet you down as you let your orgasm wrack your legs. his lips pepper kisses all over your pelvis, mumbles of praises as he works his way up. 

he hovers over your face, pressing his soft lips on your cheek. you wrap your arms around his neck, shivering at the way his fingers pinch your clothed nipple lightly. "you can give me one more, right? just one more, princess." he's murmuring against your skin, and you nod as he reaches your lips. 

"just one more?" you nip at his lower lip, before sinking in to kiss him. "just one. want to feel you around me, want to know how good i'm making you feel." you realize it's important to chan, despite what he said the night before. he wanted to be praised, he wanted to make somebody proud, even if this was the only way he felt he could do it. he could act like he's this statue, this emotionless, needless creature of nature – but he also desired approval, to be needed, to be wanted.

to be loved.

you don't say anything as you let his hands push your knees to your chest, his lips now suckling on your nipple through your shirt. your hands move to his head, pushing it away as you go to slip it off. his hands let go of your legs, entwining your fingers with his brows furrowed. "you don't have to." "i want to." you quip back quickly, tugging your fingers out of his grasp. you hook them at the hem of your shirt, lightly lifting off the bed to slide it off. he hesitates, his eyes tracing the curves of the raised skin. the way it glows lightly, almost as though it's losing its defined edges.

his eyes flicker to yours, your gaze intently scanning his face. did you think he'd be disgusted? maybe even repulsed? lowering his head, he brushed a kiss to your lips, before he allowed himself to sink to your chest. you breathed in nervously, your fingers gripping the sheets next to your body when you felt his mouth planting feather-light touches to your scar.

he can feel your skin heat under his face, the more he travels along the healed welt. the glow is slightly brighter than your overall pink, as you shudder under him, his hands pulling your fingers into his, the crumpled sheets forgotten as he pins your arms above your head.

"you're so beautiful. gorgeous, ethereal. no words could express how lovely you are." he whispers as he presses one final kiss where x marks the spot, and you jolt lightly at the singe you feel. it spreads, the whole insignia across your torso burning deeply as he moves back. his eyes are flashing with something you can't read. "chan…" "sorry." he shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing circles into your hands. you tilt your head at him, before glancing at his body, a smile spreading on your plump lips. "are you going to fuck me with all your clothes on?"

"i can." he smiles, and you raise an eyebrow. "off, all of it." 

standing off the side of your bed, he tugs your old abba shirt off, and you watch with sinful eyes as he flings it away. "stop staring at me." he whispers, and you shake your head playfully. "you said you'd kill a man if i asked, and gave me the best head of my life, but i can't watch you strip?" 

"the best, huh?" he ignores everything else he slips his sweats off, pulling your hips to the edge of the bed. "don't get cocky, or this won't count as extra c-credit." your eyes peer at him, the leaking head of his thick cock already teasing your folds lightly. his hands circle your legs once more, pulling one over his shoulder while folding the other close to your chest. he stares at your soaked cunt, the way it clenches around nothing. so inviting, so wet, so ready for him.

"that's alright, let's count it as the first class i missed. what was it, getting to know me? ask me something." he continues his teasing, watching as you squirm against him. "uhm, o-okay. what's your favorite color?"

"really?" he rubs against you lightly, his tip dragging over your clit so menacingly, you swear you could cum from just that. "hm, i like black." "black is an ab-absence of color, fuck." you dig your nails into your thighs as he shallowly thrusts into you, the lack of warning wracking a shudder up your spine. "mm, if you can't keep talking there's going to be an absence of dick in about two seconds."

"n-no, no please. shit, that feels so good." you can't keep your eyes open as he slowly sinks further into you, stilling his movements as you tuck your lip into your teeth. "ah, ah. eyes open, keep talking to me." his fingers lightly tap your cheek, your skin burning in embarrassment as you peel your eyes open. "next question, baby." "b-biggest accomplishment so f-far?" you swallow thickly as his hips are flush against your ass, allowing you to adjust to the size of him before making any more movements. he leans his head against your ankle, brows furrowed as he speaks. "probably making you cum so hard, you cry." you narrow your eyes as you look at him, "you h-haven't, though?" "but i will." he kisses your shin, giving an experimental thrust of his hips. your eyes flutter shut, a silent gasp from your lips turning to soft mewls as he starts a gentle pace. "next question." "d-do you believe in love at first s-sight?" you feel him hesitate, before he gives you a particularly harsh thrust. "somewhat." he rubs your thigh gently before continuing his brutal ministrations. "harder, please." silently, he obliges, letting your breathy moans fill his ears instead of talking. he hates talking, he hates answering questions, but he can't help and adore the tone of your voice, the softness of your queries, the avoidance in answering his.

"you feel so good, channie, holy shit." he can feel you clenching tightly around him, but lets your praise take precedence. the way you're arching your back off the mattress, hairline lined with beads of sweat as you let him fuck into you, just the way you like. the way you seem to love, as he lowers to whisper in your ear. "next question."

the proximity makes everything feel like it's a thousand degrees, your hands flying to his hair as he sucks on your collarbone lightly. "favorite s-song? ah!' you hiss at his teeth on your skin, feeling his grin against you.

"your voice." his thrusts are slowly becoming less steady, but you don't care. you don't care because his skin is scorching hot, he's holding you to him, you can feel the air of his pants against your neck and he feels so good.

there's no reason for this. for him to be blissfully ruining you while holding you flush to his chest, your nipples touching with every roll of his hips. for him to look so good while he defiles you, the way you're not even speaking coherently in his ear. for your soul to feel like it's aching for more of him, but how much more could you have when you can't love him. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects, on you, as the white-hot of your orgasm starts approaching fast.

"i…" you feel a sob rip through you, and he instinctively pulls away from you. "hey, hey. it's alright, baby." guilt fills his chest, his hands holding your face as the tears stream down your cheeks. "it's alright, we don't have to–" pushing yourself up on your elbows, you smash your lips to his, feeling yourself glow so hot you're practically on fire. it's all teeth and tongue, and you're wrapping your fingers around his throat before he can react. squeezing gently, he whines into your mouth, his hips snapping erratically against you. you swallow his sounds in your quiet sobs, the tears dripping down your neck doing nothing to cool you down. 

"y/n…" he whines pitifully against your lips, and you can feel his pout emerge as you clench around him. he settles his face in the crook of your neck, cheeks flushed. "p-please don't stop, don't stop, e-ever…" you're just as needy as he is, throwing your head back as he bites at your shoulders, your hand on his throat tightening as he sends you over the edge.

"fuck, baby." the whimper into your shoulder does nothing good for him as you clench around him, milking whatever is left of him, hips driving you both into overstimulation. he slows, his head lifting from your shoulder to peer into your eyes. you avoid them, letting go of his throat and wiping them off with the back of your hand.

the room feels heavy, with guilt. shame. maybe even a bit of hatred, but you’re not entirely sure as he kisses you gently, chastely, before pulling back. his eyes hold the sun, the stars, the moon.

"guess you got your biggest accomplishment, huh?" you chuckle thickly, and he shakes his head, pulling out slowly. his eyes avert to your center, watching his cum drip out of you slowly. he feels weird, it's such a waste. "are you okay? i should've asked sooner, i'm sorry." "no, no. it was…it was really good." you admit, feeling your glow flicker. you close your legs, scooting up on the bed as he reaches for your shirt, you cross your arms over your chest, fingers digging into your sides. "i really liked it, actually." "are you sure?" he's absent, you can tell as he wipes the back of your legs gently, before tossing the shirt over his shoulder. "i'm sorry for crying, i know it was really sudden. i just felt so overwhelmed and you felt so good, and i…" you trail off, and he feels his cheeks heat, shaking his head again. "no, it's fine. that was the goal, after all. i…do you want me to go?" your brows furrow, and you tilt your head. "go? why would i want you to go?" he shrugs, not meeting your eyes as he tugs on his sweatpants. "i don't know, i usually leave after…things like this." "what happened to 'you know it's not casual?'" you use air quotes, and you see his cheeks burn bright red. "i…i don't think i'd be able to do this, especially after what we talked about yesterday."

"do…what? we just had sex, it's not a big deal." you uncross your arms, ignoring your blatant nudity as he slips your abba shirt to you, taking it just to toss it to the side. "...act like i don’t care. i really, really like you, y/n, and i already feel so guilty about this." he can't look at you as he slips his hoodie on, the one you'd thrown over your desk chair last night when he said it was too hot to wear to bed.

you close your mouth, pressing your lips into a firm line as you grab the shirt, tugging it over your head. "i figured this would happen. maybe you should go, chan. clear your head, and we can talk later."

your brows are furrowed as you open your bedroom door, and he swallows thickly. he knew what he was getting himself into, so why does it bother him now? he said he wouldn't care, he said it so confidently.

and yet, he can't bring himself to say a word as he slams out of your apartment, eyes full of tears. leaving you feeling dejected, guilty and alone.

thursday – december 17.

it wasn't until the next day that you noticed it was significantly smaller.

it didn't curve under your breast anymore, the subtle x on your skin gone. it didn't wrap around your shoulder anymore, and it stopped right next to your navel. the scarred skin was now a bit paler, and you'd grimaced as you tugged your shirt on.

you couldn't be arsed with thinking about it, really, because now you had to walk into your classroom and face chan. of course, the chances of him not being there were fifty-fifty.

which inherently, made you feel worse.

you didn't understand why you couldn't stop thinking about his words, and what he said. your voice was his favorite song, he didn't care if you loved him or not, he somewhat believed in love at first sight? he'd met you officially a little over a month ago, no one can fall in love that quickly.

groaning, you felt orange flicker across your body as you let your heels clack against the saltillo tile of the hallway, tossing your half-empty coffee cup in the trash can. upon entering your room, the air feels…cooler.

chan is sitting on the couch, his legs squished together as minnie and shuhua peer at his face. soyeon, mingyu and yugyeom are flipping through various textbooks, each talking about what could have caused a sudden irischroma shift. he probably feels the heat of your stare, his eyes flickering to yours.

they're a deep, deep indigo color. they flash lightly at the sight of you, and minnie looks up to see you standing at your podium. "y/n…you've gotta come see this." "i can…i can see it, minnie." your voice is faint as you feel your chest searing hot, your hand coming to soothe it. clearing your throat, you shake your head as you feel a little weary, shuhua approaching you quickly. "are you okay? y/n?" "yes, i'm okay." your breathing becomes a little labored, soyeon and mingyu rushing to your side as you sink to the floor. "just give me some room." your hands touch the cool floor, and you can feel yourself dimming by the second. 

"gyu, get help." minnie shoves mingyu out the door, and you can hear his footsteps fading as he runs to the infirmary. "chan, help me pick her up." yugyeom urges, and you weakly shake your head.

"i'm fine, i'm okay." you choke out, your hand clutching your chest as you feel chan's warm hands on your arms, circling around to lift you gently. "easy, easy. i got you, baby." he murmurs, and you feel your eyes sting with tears as he lets you slump against him, your glow fading fast.

"stay with me." his fingers dig into your side as he picks you up bridal style, carefully walking you over to the couch. yugyeom pulls their backpacks off, letting him lower you gently. minnie fans you with a stack of papers. chan peers at your face, your brows pinched as you breathe in as deeply as you can, his thumb instinctively padding at the crease. huffing, you tear his hand away, lacing your fingers in his. he acts like his heart doesn’t lurch forward.

"alright, everybody, back up." mingyu's voice rings in the room, and your bleary eyes can barely make out the oxygen mask that nurse taeyeon is slipping over your face. "there, there, professor. we got you."

you're shivering as she instructs chan to lift you onto the gurney on three, and you almost cry at the loss of contact when he sets you down. "chan, chan." your voice is nearly a whisper, and the students watch as you flicker, your glow lost as it glitches between colors. 

"maybe you should go with her." yugyeom nudges him as nurse taeyeon glances at him, and she crosses her arms as chan nods slowly,slipping his bag over his shoulder. he takes nurse taeyeon's place at the end of the gurney, rolling you quietly out of the classroom. you're flickering from color to color as he walks slightly faster at nurse taeyeon's command.

"what happened?" she asks, and chan shakes his head as they take a sharp turn, your groan resounding in the hall. "i'm not sure, she just started clutching her chest and basically fell to the floor." nodding, taeyeon stays quiet the rest of the walk, her eyes only glancing at his worried expression and your hazy one. they're in love, she thinks. this is love.

taeyeon can't really help you. her powers lay in the herbalism field, she has no idea what's wrong, and she can't get a specialist here fast enough. she watches as chan carefully positions you in the empty room, letting his bag slide onto the floor before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. she simply sighs, calling that she'd be back with a rosemary tea and to just sit tight as she calls for the master sorcerers.

his hand gently strokes your ankle, making you flinch. "chan, chan i can't breathe." you tug at your collar, and he quickly reaches to unbutton your top buttons. "it's gonna be okay, angel." he's whispering as your hand grasps his wrist, the oxygen mask doing little to help as you wheeze.

"chan…" his head lifts, and your eyes are teary as you hear footsteps approaching hurriedly. he doesn't acknowledge you as the master sorcerers burst into your room, taeyeon trailing behind them with a steaming cup. "excuse me, coming through." she perches at the edge of the bed, carefully pulling you up. you whimper softly, and chan feels his heart ache at your pain. "drink this, it'll help your stress. that's probably what this is, just some anxiety."

taeyeon's tone is soft as she takes off the oxygen mask, the master sorcerers waiting until they can swoop in. neither of them acknowledge chan, despite getting to know him insanely well over the past few years. he could dare to think that they were afraid of him, of not knowing what he was. master sorcerers my ass, he thinks.

"i can't…" you're breathless, and taeyeon's gaze softens as she lets you slump down on the pillow once more. "it's alright. the master sorcerers are here, okay? they'll take care of you." she pats your shoulder, and you nod wearily as the grandest of all, dr. kang seulgi, takes a step forward.

"bang chan, why are you here?" her sharp voice echoes in the room, and your hand weakly reaches for him as he slides off the bed. "i brought her in, dr. kang."

"i see. you can evacuate the premises." she waves him away nonchalantly, and he frowns deeply as he steps back, your eyes fixed on him. almost like you're begging him to stay.

"i think i'll stay, actually." he blurts, and dr. kang's eyes snapped to him. "i'm not asking you, chan, i'm telling you." "let the boy stay, what's the harm?" dr. min's voice rings from his spot against the door frame, and chan glances up at the nimble man. "c'mon, seulgi."

"yoongi, if you undermine me again, you're sleeping on the couch." she grits, her wedding band to dr. min glinting in the low light as she rubs her temples. your hand reaches for chan once more, a soft groan from your lips catching his attention. he takes it, entwining your fingers quickly, kneeling at your side. "of course, jagi. y/n, what seems to be the problem?" dr. min pushes past, noting the undone buttons of your blouse. your chest is glowing, but the rest of you is the dimmest indigo he'd ever seen. much less, having seen you never glow indigo. your breathing is still labored, chest glowing brighter as chan once more rubs the pinch of your brows away.

"y/n, i'm going to open your shirt, okay?" dr. kang pushes past dr. min, her nimble fingers undoing the rest of the buttons. your scar is illuminated, but…it's not really there. it's faded, and chan can tell this is out of the ordinary as dr. kang's brows raise.

"yoongi." her voice is low, bringing her husband to her side. "oh, my."

their eyes meet, as though they're speaking telepathically. dr. kang's eyes flash gold as she furrows her brows, her husband grimacing as his own flash green. they glance at chan, who is gingerly moving your hair out of your face, his fingers barely ghosting over your sticky skin.

you can barely see him through your foggy eyes, but you're scanning him intently. you can see the glowing indigo of his eyes, that matches yours. you're dimming, but he's brighter than ever and it sends a shiver up your spine. his hand squeezes yours, a wave of heat attacking your chest.

dr. kang looks back, her husband staring intently at her.

"he healed her, it seems." his eyes speak, and she shakes her head. "he's not a healer, remember? we tried that already." yoongi nods, eyes fluttering back to the both of you. chan's now sitting on the edge of the bed, your arm draped over his lap as he speaks to you gently. he can't hear what chan is saying, but the glint of adoration in his eyes tells him all he needs to know.

"chan, can i see you in the hallway?" dr. min speaks, and your head turns to him. you pout, your eyes filling with tears as chan pulls away from you. dr. kang gives him a hard glare as she takes his place, her cool hand placed directly on your hot skin, making you groan.

"yes, dr. min?" chan's eyes are enticing, and dr. min shrugs. "let's try a little something, hm?" chan follows dr. min's line of vision, the door of the bathroom ajar. dr. min makes a gesture for chan to wait, before ducking into the bathroom, shutting the door. chan hears a loud crash, and dr. min appears just as fast, with a bloody fist.

"dr. min, are you alright? i can get nurse taeye-" dr. min places his free hand over chan's mouth, a knowing look in his eyes as he holds up his injured hand. "heal me, chan." "what? sir, i'm not a healer, you know that." chan furrows his brows, and dr. min shakes his head. "channel it." dr. min's eyes are boring into chan's soul as he looks away, shivering as he tries to channel any sort of magical energy for this injury. he's not surprised when nothing happens, and dr. min nods his head.

dr. min simply heals it himself, and chan looks away as the skin closes quickly, the dried blood disappearing before his eyes. vitalis mendacium, he thinks it's called. "chan, i think i may have an idea of what's going on with professor y/n." dr. min clasps his hands together in front of him, and chan tilts his head.

"you're in love with her, aren't you?" dr. kang's voice rings from the doorway of your room, and chan gapes at her. "w-what?" "don't play dumb. she told me she helped you clear some emotional blockage on tuesday, and she showed up in your blockages." dr. kang crosses her arms, and a groan is heard from you, chan flinching at the sound. "chan, this is dangerous territory." his eyes narrow as he shakes his head. "i don't think what you did to her was right. i think we all deserve a chance at love, no matter our mistakes. you're wrong, dr. kang." dr. kang scowls, "you think we did this to her? the old coven did it, we had no say!" she points between herself and her husband, and dr. min places his hand on her shoulder.

"chan, seulgi is right. in this world, there is no amount of study done that could reverse what the old coven has done to y/n. they cursed layers upon layers of punishment on her, this was never intended to be something that could be undone." dr. min speaks slowly, and chan can hear you whining in the room behind the couple. he's antsy, he feels sick to his stomach knowing you're a mere ten feet away and he can't make you feel better. 

"i don't know what to do." dr. kang admits lowly, her hand covering her eyes as she looks away from the men in front of her. "i think…" dr. min trails off as chan pushes past them, sliding next to you. he watches chan fan you with his hand, your own wrapped around his waist as you shiver.

"you trust me, right?" he looks to seulgi, who nods her head. "always." his hands spin her around, making her face the two of you. "i think this is his to heal. look how quiet she is in his presence, she's barely moving. her breathing is more steady." "yoongi, he's not a healer." seulgi groans into her hands, her eyes catching a flash of white protruding from you as chan runs his hand down your back. she watches as he helps you peel your jacket off, your baby pink shirt transparent from the sheen of your sweat soaking through.

"maybe not for us, but for her." yoongi mumbles, seeing chan swipe your hair away from your neck, his lips pursed as he blows cool air against your skin. your groan is one of relief as he rocks you, and seulgi glances at her husband, swallowing thickly. "they're so rare, yoongi. there hasn't been one in this dimension in three hundred and twenty five years."

"i think we may have another on our hands." yoongi smiles widely as you slowly prop yourself up on your elbow, chan's worried eyes scanning your face for distress. you make a noise of disgust, your glow returning green steadily as chan helps you sit up. "what happened? ugh, i'm all sweaty."

glancing at your hands, you see them glowing indigo as it spreads up your body. you turn, seeing the master sorcerers staring at you from the doorway. grimacing, you glimpse at chan, who is looking at you intently. "hey, you alright?" his hand is holding your hip, and your frown falters as you look into his eyes. they're glowing bright as he looks you over. "what happened to your eyes?" your voice is raspy, and he looks away, shrugging.

"i'm not sure. they started changing last night." he swallows, and you shudder as indigo engulfs you entirely. "they look…pretty."

he snorts, shaking his head. "you might want to button up your shirt." feeling your cheeks burn, your fingers fumble with the buttons when you feel seulgi's cool hand on your wrist. "wait."

letting her lay you back, you miss chan's warmth as he slips off the bed, lingering from a few feet away as she opens your shirt. her eyes widen as she quickly beckons her husband over. his eyes snake down your torso, and his eyes glint with green as he meets seulgi's. they're silent, their faces moving as they communicate.

"y/n?" dr. kang's voice is low as she runs her hand through your mussed curls, and you meet her line of vision. her eyes are soft, staring at your torso. "y/n, do you know the history of psychosomatic healers?"

raising a brow, you nod your head. "yeah, they're the rarest of the healing trifecta. there hasn't been one in this dimension since 1699, and even then there's only seven recorded cases because they're so difficult to pinpoint at commencement." dr. min steps forward, noticing chan's eyes glued to the floor as dr. kang examines you further.. "y/n, i'd like to try something, if you don't mind." nodding, you allow dr. kang to take your arm in her hand, pulling your sleeve off your shoulder. 

with a quick swipe of her nails, you're bleeding. you gape at her, a scoff flying from your lips when chan looks up, the sound tearing him from his thoughts. "are you serious, seulgi?" you push her away, flickering orange and dr. min beckons chan forward. "touch her, chan."

taking a deep breath, chan gets closer to you, his nose scrunching at the blood seeping into your shirt. he takes your hand in his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. you look away from your shoulder, zeroing in on the subtle touch of affection when a white glow catches everyone's eyes. tugging at your shirt sleeve, seulgi reveals a clean shoulder, no injury visible.

"a psychosomatic healer can only heal those they love." she states, her eyes boring into chan's as he tries to tug his hand away, but you only use it as leverage to sit up. "what the fuck are you guys on about?" "there's no way you're that dumb, y/n." seulgi snorts, her manicured fingernail pointing at your chest. "i don't know how he did it, and i don't think we'll ever know. the curse the coven set upon you has been lifted by him." you look down — the raised welt where your scar once was has dissipated. widening your eyes, you peel the shoulder of your shirt down, the formerly scarred skin now smooth. your fingers tremble as you run them over your soft flesh, feeling the sting of tears forming. you can feel the burn of a sob in your throat as chan releases your hand, stepping back as you process.

the burning of his gaze, of his skin on yours, of your chest in his presence. the ache you felt in your soul yesterday as his lips brushed your neck with every roll of his hips, the way his answers confused you. the anger you felt while walking to class, at not being able to decipher him.

the way his angel eyes held the sun, the moon, and the stars. the way worry creases his brow though relief has washed over his frame, the way you're itching to hold him close, and never, ever let go.

it all makes sense.

"we'll give you both a moment." the master sorcerers bow their heads as they back out of the room, dr. min closing the door behind him. you sit in silence, feeling sticky and gross and overwhelmed.

"you're in love with me?!" you shriek, and chan throws up his hands in defense. "i thought we already knew this, why are we screaming?!" you swat his arm, and a nervous laugh bubbles up his throat. flopping back down onto the gurney, you dramatically cover your eyes with your arm, sighing. "now i have to cherish this, and we're probably going to get married and have kids and all that shit. are you serious? are you serious." "y/n…" you stand up, pacing back and forth in front of him, your hands weaving through your hair to soothe the onsetting migraine at the information. "how are you not freaking out, chan? you just found out you're one of the rarest healers in the trifecta, and not to mention the first in over three centuries! are you shitting me right now?" "y/n?"

you're not listening as you continue to ramble, pacing a hole into the floor when he grabs your shoulder, pulling you to him. taking both your hands in his, he looks you in the eyes. "you're spiraling." 

huffing, you nibble on your lower lip. "what happens now, chan?"

his smile is warm, it's comforting, it's making your stomach flip as he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "i don't know. isn't that the beauty of it all, though? not knowing where you end up?"

pouting, you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing his warmth to seep into your skin. "i've never felt this, chan. i don't know what it's like to be lost, i've always had my answers." you can feel the vibrations of his chest as he laughs, his hand coming to stroke your hair gently.

"that's okay, it'll be like the blind leading the blind. for now, we can just focus on…us? maybe go on a date, have dinner…" his voice is soft as you look up to him, his eyes already scanning your face for any hint of rejection. "unless you don't want to." you do, of course you do.

"i'm all sweaty, and gross. we've had a revelation about your purpose in this world, your eyes are a different color, and you want to focus on us?" your voice is laced with incredulity, a hint of amusement peeking through as it tugs at your lips. "i have my whole life to focus on other things. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? i have that answer, that piece now, but i'm already figuring this part out." squeezing your shoulder, he places a chaste kiss on your hairline, your nose scrunching.

"why did you come with me?" you poke his chest, and he smirks. "yesterday or today?"

gaping, you land a soft smack to his chest, his squeaky laughter filling your ears as your cheeks heat. "chan! not funny!" "sorry, i'm sorry! i saw an opportunity, i took it. but, i was worried about you." he starts, taking a piece of your hair between his fingers. "i saw how angry you looked before minnie spoke to you, and before you looked at me. you started looking faint when we met eyes, and i was…i was scared that something might happen to you and that i wouldn't be able to apologize for potentially overstepping boundaries, or ruining whatever little game we have going on."

"you couldn't ruin whatever this is even if you tried." you scoff, your words tumbling out before you can process them. "i've never felt anything this intense before in my entire life. my ears started ringing when i touched your chest on tuesday, here." you splay your fingers on his hoodie, in the same place.

"i couldn't hear a thing. that was me, the blockage, i was basically hearing myself. if we didn't have that moment, if you hadn't let me in, none of this would have happened." you speak softly, taking his hands in yours, his eyes glassy as he looks into yours. your smile is gentle, and he can feel his stomach flutter as you lean closer. "and i'm so glad it did. despite this whole day being so weird, despite the coven probably burning holes into the back of my head right now from hell right now, and despite the tears i can see about to spill out of your eyes, nothing could ruin this. okay?" he looks away, nibbling on his lip. your thumb strokes his cheek, catching a few stray tears as you make him face you. vision blurring, but you can see him clearer than ever.

"okay?" you insist, and he nods. "okay."

"good." pulling him towards you, you crash your lips to his, feeling your heart beating in your ears. your arms cross over his shoulders, his hands finding home on your bare waist, the kiss becoming heated. parting his lips, your tongue snakes its way in, a soft groan from chan as he pushes you back, your knees hitting the gurney. 

"not in here, guys." dr. kang's voice echoes in the room, and you spring apart like teenagers. wiping at your lips, you watch as chan grabs your discarded jacket, and his bag. outstretching his hand to you, you take it, letting him rush the both of you towards the door. quickly bowing to the master sorcerers, you giggle as the cool december air hits your chest.

"yeah, y/n! nice titties, girl!" you hear a holler from down the hall, your eyes catching a glimpse of minnie's teal hair. you smile widely, waving as chan continues, a blush coating his cheeks as you begin to float behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"where are we going?" you mumble in his ear, and he shivers. "to yours. i need to show you how much you mean to me." you let the butterflies bounce around in your stomach, knowing exactly what was coming your way.

friday – january 08.

your relationship with chan had become the talk of the wizard world. several words were thrown your way, many to your detriment – but you chose to focus on 'love epiphany' and 'anomalies made to traverse together.'

he naturally passed your class with flying colors, what more could you do when he literally discovered himself? the students deemed it completely fair, with only yugyeom choosing to retake your course because he felt like he didn't really do what was necessary. mornings were filled with the buzzing of your phone – the students had made a group chat and continuously badgered you with memes, and mingyu with his graduation photos.

whereas, chan's mornings were filled with you, his phone long put on silent. your soft hair tickling his neck, only for your gentle lips to place chaste kisses along his jaw as he awoke. your warm leg draped over his waist, your knee teasing his crotch so early was something he'd never get used to. your arm, propping you up once he lazily peels an eye open, closing it the moment he sees your beaming smile, a blush coating his cheeks.

"do you always stare at me when i sleep?" he mumbles, his fingers dipping under the hem of your sleep shorts. "do birds fly?" "you're a creep, you know that?" laughing, he lets you hold his eyes open with your fingers, the indigo glow of them making you glow brighter in turn. that was what it meant, after all – the subzero color now warm, as you illuminated the room with your love for chan. "yeah? well you're creeping your fingers into my panties, so maybe shut up."

your lips are addicting, he could never get enough of them as you brush them against him. both sets, of course.

kidding. sort of. not at all. he loves you, okay? that's all that matters.

"you should check your email, channie." you murmur against his neck, and he nods his head, watching as you try not to smile. "oh i should, should i?" ignoring the raise of his eyebrow, you reach for chan's phone, plopping it on his bare chest. chan lolls his head back, hands relocating to your hips as he pulls you on top of him. your cheeks heat at the soft love bites on his pec, but shake it away as his voice snakes into your head

"you seem a little too excited, baby." he ruffles your hair as he unlocks his phone, and you just bite your lip as he scans the screen. "tell me, sorcerer, what's the news?" your voice bounces off the walls, with chan just squeezing your hip in response.

from: [email protected]

dearest bang chan,

it is our honor here at the spellbound institute of magic to let you know that you have been chosen to be published in this year's edition of the spellbound sorcerer. such an honor is only awarded to those with extraordinary skill. 

we've also made the unanimous decision for you to speak at this year's annual convention, taking over the healing trifecta's booth. more information will be provided as the date approaches.

we look forward to seeing you and professor y/l/n there.

signed,

dr. kang seulgi

dr. min yoongi

master sorcerers

spellbound institute of magic

his eyes flicker to yours, your grin so wide, it's infectious. "i'm getting published." "you're getting published!" you cheer loudly, and chan feels his cheeks heat as you pepper his face in kisses. "you're getting published, baby! we have to celebrate! let's ask your parents to dinner, yeah? we can get a cabin for the weekend, so they don't have to drive home so late."

he forgets how you pried the truth about his parents out of him, but he's almost sure it was last tuesday when you made him beg for you to sit on his face. almost sure, but he doesn't really care anymore. after all, he'd warmed up to you.

"i'm so proud of you, channie." your voice is gentle as you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, and he nods, burying his face in your chest as embarrassment spreads in his. "hey, you can't hide from me. what happened to the praise kink? don't you want to know how good you're doing?" "i told you that in confidence!" he swats at your leg as he nestles into your laughter. "i know! it's just me and you here, what's the problem?! let me praise you!"

"never. come on, let's read my stupid essay." he throws the comforter off his legs, and you huff as you climb off his lap. sitting up on the edge of the bed, you lean against his back, your arms hooked around his broad shoulders. the same ones full of your nail marks, a few imprints of your teeth scattered around them. "i graded it, i already read it." "well, praise me while i read it." he snorts, and you press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "mm, okay. i'll take what i can get."

bang chan

professor y/l/n

identity theory

if you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it. – tony stark, spider-man: homecoming (2017)

the fall was slow, like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement.

i've been lost before – in grocery stores, misunderstanding assignments. i've even been lost in the woods before, riddled with anxiety standing within the trees. so uniform, full of belonging. those trees know where their purpose lies.

me? i've been wandering this world not knowing where my purpose lies, what i'm meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose. this is a feeling of disorientation, isolation, off course. it's all the same anyway, isn't it?

i spent years looking for answers – from the day i was dropped off at the academy to the day i met professor y/l/n. life was well sullied with fear, a feeling of desperation as i felt my time running low. i willingly put myself in danger, hopping from dimension to dimension with the aid of some friends to find something to ease my worries, and came up empty. answers will find you, not you them.

another thing i failed to consider was that i perhaps had my answer all along. from the natural instinct to protect and take care of the people i hold close, to the agony of being away from my family – all i needed was a catalyst. something to throw me even more off course, even more confusing than what life had come to be before her.

professor y/l/n has brought me to life. truly, i could never say enough to express the appreciation i have for her, but i will attempt it any chance i get. an enigma, an anomaly, a paradigm – she is far, far more than these words could begin to define. she's selfless, she's full of light and i could never understand that. my admiration for her goes well beyond this lifetime, and like the praying mantis, she was a beacon of guidance.

her story is full of twists and turns as she allowed me to indulge. from the flickering of the glow around her, to understanding that only the deepest of her indigo hue glows for me, i'm honored to say the least. i will never get enough of her story, of her truths, of her. the idea that love lies in the hands of the beholder is entirely true in this case. to be loved is to be known, and she read me far beyond my wildest dreams the moment her golden cast laid upon me. 

eckhart tolle says that, to love is to recognize yourself in another. i have never experienced something as deep as this, nor have i ever seen myself in y/n – and i'm glad i don't. my insecurities, my flaws, what i dislike about myself, are my own. however, i know she sees something i don't, and i trust that. i trust her, with my entire being. without her, i'd have no clue of my purpose. to younger me, who is still wondering the answer to that, i propose this.

your purpose is to love. love beyond your ways, love selflessly. love selfishly, like it's all you can do. like it's all you're capable of, because the moment you lay eyes on y/n? you will see, it is. loving her is all you can do. life without love is meaningless, life without her is hopeless.

temptaetions © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

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#gia's fic recs 💗 #Bangchan 🐺

[innieandsungielover]

thank you omg <333

Morning sunshine

a/n: sleepy and mid-day lazy-ish sex with Lix! 18+ Minors DNI! pairing: Bf!Felix x afab!Reader wc: 1.6k cw: switch! Lix, switch! reader, unprotected sex, cumming inside, mostly smut with a bit of fluff, sleepy sex, oral (m! receiving), dick riding...

You woke up, Lix pressed against your side, his hard-on prominent and rutting into your cunt. “Lixie?” you whined, his pace not stopping. 

“Sorry baby, just feeling so needy” he whined, kissing your neck, his head buried into it. 

“Let me take care of you baby” you whined, but he wouldn’t let you turn around to face him. “No, wanna take care of you” he whimpered, his hand traveling down your stomach and into your shorts and panties. You were already wet and he could feel it.  

“Felix” you moaned as his fingers began to play with your clit. “Feels good doesn’t it?” he asked, slowly inserting his finger into you, slowly thrusting it inside of you. Even with his small hands, he could still reach that spot inside of you that drove you crazy.

You could feel as he humped his hard-on into your ass slightly, moaning into you as he added another finger into your cunt. Your moans fill the room, your body convulsing indicating to him that you were close. Your breath getting heavier, but right before you came, he pulled his fingers out of your sopping cunt. 

“Please, I was so close. Why would you do that Lix?” you whined, feeling like a kid whose balloon got popped. 

“I thought I was the horny one?” he giggled, releasing his cock from his boxers, running the tip against your pussy. “I just want to make you feel good and make you cum on my cock, can’t you let me do that?” 

You just nodded, lifting your leg slightly, his tip smacking on your clit, causing the both of you to groan. 

“Please, stop teasing baby” you whimpered next to him. He just laughed, “Such a cutie, begging for my cock” He kissed your cheek before slowly pushing the tip of his cock inside of you. 

He moaned at the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him before he slowly began to thrust inside of you, causing the both of you to whimper. 

His pace was slow since both of you were lying down, but you were too lazy to change positions, but he was hitting so deep inside of you.

You could feel yourself getting close, especially after he ripped the orgasm you were so close to, it was easy to get you close to your high again. 

He slowly brought his finger down to your clit, causing you to clench your walls around him again.

“Am I taking your cock well?” you whined, his cock rutting inside of you. “Of course baby” he grinned, picking up his pace slightly while lifting your thigh a bit higher into the air. 

The slight change in position allowed him to hit that spongey spot inside of you. “So close” you whined as he began thrusting into you faster while he sucked on your neck, marking it. It was the extra stimulation that allowed you to cum, and the band inside your stomach snapped your thighs shaking due to the stimulation. 

You clamped your pussy around his cock, causing him to whine behind you. 

“Ah baby, don’t do that. I’m so close, let me cum. You can do that for me can’t you?” 

You just nodded, feeling his cock twitch inside you, you knew he was close to his high. You squeezed your walls around his cock, causing him to spill his seed inside of you.

“Stay like this” you whispered, feeling your eyelids getting heavier at every passing moment, he had fucked you back to sleep. 

“My poor baby” he chuckled before wrapping his arms around you, covering the two of you with a blanket. 

After a couple of hours, you felt the sun across your face, Felix still behind you, his arms wrapped around you. 

You removed yourself from him, causing him to whine. “Baby gotta get ready for the day, we can’t just be covered in cum” 

“Fine” he whined, rubbing his eyes, his freckles even more prominent in the morning sun. “Good boy” you giggled, kissing his lips. 

“Want to take a bath while I change the sheets?” he asked as you covered your body with your shirt that was thrown about hours prior. “Mhm,” you hummed, walking towards the bathroom and turning on the warm water in the tub. 

The two of you sat in the bubble-filled water for what felt like hours, talking about work for the both of you. You complain about your annoying boss who wasn’t doing his part but still dared to tell you that you weren’t doing your work. Felix was telling you about how Minho had worked him like a dog the past week learning the choreography, which you just giggled at, kissing his lips to help relax him. 

The two of you got dressed, and you lay on the bed as Felix decided to play a couple of rounds of Genshin to relax on his day off. 

Two hours had gone by of you scrolling through your phone as he played on his PC, his headset blocking any external sounds. 

You were getting a bit hungry, but didn’t know what Felix would be in the mood for, looking up you saw his brows were scrunched as his fingers clacked around his custom-made keyboard. 

“Lix” you called out, but he didn’t hear you. “Lee Yongbok Felix!” you shouted, hoping it would get his attention, but your attempts seemed futile. 

“Fuck it” you muttered to yourself, slowly getting on your hands and knees, venturing under his desk as quietly as possible. He didn’t even notice, too immersed in the game playing about in front of him. 

It wasn’t until he felt your hand palm his cock through his sweat pants, the only thing stopping you from touching his cock. 

“Babe, what are you doing?” he whined, muting himself and pushing back the left speaker from his ear. Your hand pressing harder onto his semi-hardened cock. 

“Shhh, go back to playing your game baby, it’s why you didn’t want to listen to me” You grinned, slowly pulling down his sweats, taking in his cock. 

“But baby” he whined, his hips bucking up slightly as you took his cock in your hand, your thumb playing with the slit. 

“Be a good boy and play your game, can’t you do that for me?” you grinned, taking the tip of his cock in your mouth. 

“Fuck” he groaned, throwing his head back before putting his headphones back on, and unmuting himself. 

“Yongbok, where were you? We are going to lose if you just go MIA without telling us” Jeongin whined, the faint sound of his voice blasting through Lix’s headphones.

“Sorry, just had to go to the bathroom real quick” he replied back, his tone softer than before, too scared that he was going to moan into his mic due to the way your mouth was taking his cock. 

You slowly removed your mouth from the tip before spitting on it, your hand moving up and down his cock easily with the extra lubrication of spit on your hand.

You slowly took his cock back in your mouth, holding it in there as you got your phone, scrolling through Instagram, not caring about the whine he let out. 

Twenty minutes had passed, your mouth cockwarming him. It wasn’t until you heard him shout, his palms hitting the desk that you began to suck his cock again. 

"Fuck, can't you protect me Jeongin?" he whined, thrusting his cock into your mouth. You gagged slightly, causing him to moan above you. “Dude, are you getting your dick sucked right now?” Jeongin shouted, his voice being heard through the headphones. 

“I gotta go, bye” Felix whined, turning his mic off and throwing his headphones onto his desk. He pushed his chair back, his cock slipping from between your lips. 

“Up, now.” he grinned, watching as you crawled from under his desk and into his lap, his cock pressed against his stomach as he pulled your shorts and underwear in one go, your cunt wet already. 

He took advantage of fucking you already, running the tip of his cock into you before grabbing your hips and pushing you down on him, the two of you moaning at the intrusion.

“Fuck, my baby has such a nice cock” you giggled, watching the way Felix’s cheeks reddened at your compliment. 

“My baby’s cock is so big, can’t wait to ride it” you pouted, slowly lifting your hips up before pushing yourself back on his cock. “Fuck!” you whined as you began to ride him, his hips jutting up into you, causing the both of you to groan, his cock hitting that spongey spot inside of you due to the angle he was thrusting up into you. 

“Such a good pussy” he whined his head thrown back, his hips jutting into you. “I’m so close” he whined, “It’s okay baby boy, cum for me” You kissed his lips, purposefully tightening your walls around his cock, allowing him to cum again.

“We have to get cleaned up again” you giggled, his cock still inside of you. “But you didn’t get to cum baby” he pouted, looking at you with his pretty eyes. 

“It’s okay Lixie” You pushed his hair back, kissing his forehead. “At least let me eat you out then?” he grinned, lifting the two of you from the bed before throwing you on the bed. 

“I’m not opposed to that” you grinned as he pulled you off his cock, throwing you on the bed. 

“I knew you wouldn’t be” 

#gia's fic feedback!

[innieandsungielover]

Jaw on the floor, mesmerized, transfixed even... I need to know what's going on?!?!? Waiting patiently for the next part (aka, refreshing the page every .000000012 seconds in hopes there is a next part (I'm joking!)

Groupie · 「Chapter 1」

TRACK 1: EMBARGO ➥ Cold Deck is getting ready for their world tour, but their triumphant moment is cut short by their beloved manager.

⚠ — Crass language (see masterlist for more) || Series page here

“All rise for the million sellers!”

The three men were greeted into the company building with roaring applause like homecoming kings even though they were clad in ultra-comfortable attire. All pieces from their official merch to flex their affiliation. Sweatshirts, caps, leather bracelets with prints of a spade logo and silhouettes representing their respective stage names.

The Ace, The Jack, and The King. The makers of the horniest drug-induced love songs as of late.

Cold Deck.

“World tour, baby!!!”

When the leader of the band screamed into the marble hall, the cheers got louder like this was a premium league championship celebration, and there were hysterical hooligans present. Triumph moments like this were the only rare times he was seen launching those swoonworthy dimples, naturally galvanizing the crowd into rowdier roughhousing. Champagne bottles popping at two in the afternoon, slaps on the back, creative cussing meant to be compliments…

“Fucking step on me, King!”

“Call me on Wednesday, baby girl. I ordered new combat boots.”

And while all that was going on, their manager was fuming out of his ears by the conference room door holding a huge folder, impatiently waiting for the men of the hour.

“Buzzkill much, Min?” Changbin smugly grinned at him, “What’s up with the Morticia face?”

“Sit your asses down!”

The trio’s faces immediately fell. The last time Minho got this pissed was when Chris got busted doing lines off of a fellow festival performer’s tits in the green room. As they took their seats in the swiveling chairs, Minho dropped the folder in his hands with a loud thud and pressed his palms against the large table.

“Something you wanna say to me?”

“Like what?” Changbin spread his legs as wide as he could and leaned further into his chair.

“Oh, I don’t know. Finance sent documentation of your personal expenses on company money from the last tour so that we could budget accordingly. Maybe it has something to do with that.” 

Minho’s eyes were wide open, and each of the guys knew that when he was this mad, Minho held the power to jump all three of them at once if he wanted to.

“Do you even know how much you spent?!”

“You know you’re talking to million sellers, right?” Jisung attempted a defense, “So what if we splurged a bit?”

“Splurged?” Minho erupted into a maniacal laughter, “SPLURGED?”

He slammed the folder cover open and grabbed several random bills dated six months ago, not giving a single fuck who was watching this exchange through the glass wall.

“What the fuck is this, huh? What the fuck is this shit?!” he rabidly swiveled the papers in front of his most lucrative clients’ faces, “Enough alcohol to induce acute cirrhosis for a mid-size army, escort service every goddamn night, pay-per-view porn… I’m NOT even going to count the un-fucking-billable party candies you keep popping.”

Today was supposed to be all about planning the tour stops of the upcoming Cold Deck tour, but instead, the entire band was receiving an old-school detention treatment from their manager. From the looks of it, very deservingly.

“I’m sorry, are we getting scolded for indulging in cliché tour behavior right now?” Chris finally mustered enough courage to cock a single brow, “None of this is news, Min.”

“The fucking upgrades you got are costly, asshat,” Minho’s teeth were about to crack from how hard he was clenching them, “You don’t drink cheap beer anymore, you’re downing Ciroc bottles. You’re not fucking the bunch of people forming a line outside your green rooms, you’re hiring bitches to get under you. You don’t even stream free porn like your regular Joe, you’re paying for that shit!”

“It hits different when you reenact higher quality scenes.”

“THE GIBSONS YOU SMASHED WHEN YOU WERE HIGH OUT OF YOUR ASS ALONE COST US HALF A MILLION!!!”

Shit!

The immediate silence that fell over the room was ghastly. The two men sitting on the left side of their leader could not even look at his general direction. All this time, they thought they’d got away with it because who the fuck was keeping tabs, right?

Turns out, someone did.

“You… smashed Gibsons?” Chris blinked slowly.

His voice was so petrifyingly calm that all that took over the room was sheer terror. The rapper and the vocal-slash-rhythm guitarist of the group froze in their place, terrified to utter a single word.

“We can explain.”

“Those were… limited editions,” a faint snapping sound was heard from Chris’ jaw, “What the fuck were you even THINKING?!”

“AS IF you’re the one to talk! Everyone knows you’re the one trashing the presidential suites with your fucking raves!” 

Chris couldn’t even retort his manager’s very on-point calling out. Each night he almost got the entire crew evicted due to disorderly conduct would equal one of those beloved Gibsons anyway. Minho took a deep breath to calm down and finally addressed the problem at hand.

“You have an awesome decision to make here, fellas. Do you want to go on your last tour before you bankrupt us, or do you want to keep being recording artists?”

“I don’t even understand. We have fucking multiplatinum albums!” Jisung protested, all frustrated, “How can one tour expense bring us down this much?”

“I hope the fuck not you weren’t thinking your album and concert revenues were divided between the three of you only,” Minho creased his brows, incredulous of the cluelessness, “In case you didn’t notice, there’s an army of people working for you. Your technicians, your stylists, your stage coordinators, venue fees, travel and accommodation, ME!”

“Just tell us what you want us to do,” Chris interjected before Minho listed their entire staff.

“First of all, if you’re getting high, do it in an empty room. Not where your stage gear is,” Minho emphatically declared, then continued, “Second of all, remind yourselves this is a world tour, not a trip to Vegas. No one’s fucking anyone in exchange for money.”

“DUDE!”

“Go cry about it. I said what I said,” Minho shushed Changbin, “If you want to complete this arena tour like you’ve always fucking dreamed of, I’m putting you on allowance, and NO ONE spends a penny without my knowledge. Understood?”

“Not to be that person, but you of all people know how fucking stressful it is on the road,” Chris raised a valid question, “We got accustomed to a certain lifestyle and we have needs now. How do you suggest we take care of it without murdering people?”

Minho knew the answer to that question ever since he noticed what more than half of the band’s expenses were dedicated to.

“You leave that to me,” he got up to his feet and pulled his phone out of his pocket as he headed towards the door, “And start praying to every deity you know of that I can secure this deal.”

Then he took off, pressing 5 on his speed dial on his way out. Those three ringing tones felt like forever to him before the call was picked up.

“Hey beautiful, it’s me. Your favorite client,” he chirped on the phone, charms on full blast, “Listen, do you have an opening tonight? I have an offer for you.”

“Min, I love you, but my rockstar days give me war flashbacks,” you looked at the beautiful man in front of you with mild discomfort.

“Just for the duration of the tour,” he carried on with his relentless persuasion, “We’ll pay you double what you would make here during that time. If it ends up being convenient, we can even renegotiate terms for an extension.”

“You realize you’re asking me to be their permanent groupie?” 

“You’ll at least know who you’ll be fucking rather than the randos here.”

Well, he did have a point. Every booking you had on your appointment schedule was a complete hit or miss. The chances of you landing a hot billionaire and a midlife crisis-having middle aged man with less-than-average looks were fifty-fifty every night.

“We got tour girls specifically working this line,” you crossed your arms over your chest, “Why me?”

“Come on, babe. You and I both know tour girls just lie there, and I need a Swiss knife.”

Swiss knife. So your prospective clients were one of those. The type that came with special instructions to keep satisfied. Into very niche shit that made them cum so hard that they saw white. It happened to be your specialty and a point of pride for you, but the question was what exactly those preferences were.

“One appointment per day,” he was looking at you with almost begging eyes, “I put it in writing so that you’re never overworked.”

“What am I supposed to do for the rest of the day then?” 

“I don’t know. Shop?” 

“God, you don’t know me at all, do you?” you scoffed and asked the waiter passing by to refill the drinks on the table. Right at that moment Minho extended you a piece of paper. 

“What is this?”

“The offer you won’t be able to refuse,” his pretty face turned smug all of a sudden.

You quickly scanned the document. The number quoted on it was nothing but impressive, but of course you weren’t going to let him know that. If you were even going to begin to consider accepting such an offer, you needed all the leverage you could pull against him.

“Generous,” you eventually smiled, “but I’m not signing shit at the club.” 

“You do know what my guys look like, right?” 

“I might be the queen of the freaks, but just because they are insanely hot doesn’t mean I’m not going to negotiate,” you made a fair point, “Give me a date and time, and tell your guys to prepare client profiles for me. I want to know everything they are into.”

“You don’t slip, do you?” he broke into a satisfied smile.

“Because that’s not my first rodeo,” you raised your glass and clinked it against his, “Then I’ll quote my price.”

“Fine. Wednesday morning at 10,” Minho finally gave you what you wanted and pointed at the garments barely covering your body, “And business attire, please. Your tits are hella distracting.”

“Looking forward to it, kitty,” you got up to your feet and scratched under his chin, “Take whichever girl you want from the pole tonight. My treat.”

「© 2021-2024, cb97percent · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

※ Early access content — Chapters 1-2 publicly available: Subscribers will have fast pass to new chapters starting from Chapter 3, but you can read them for free in six weeks. Join the Skye High Club, or follow me on Ream to get notified when new chapters become publicly available. [See pinned for more info]

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#gia's fic recs 💗 #Han 🐹 #Bangchan 🐺 #Changbin 🐷

[innieandsungielover]

This was so cute omg? Patiently waiting for the second part!

SECRET SECRET

K. SEUNGMIN

chapter 1

cw: swearing, fem reader, academic rivals, angst if you squint, both like each other but wont admit it

wc: 1.2k

a.n - welcome to my first full fic !! im super excited to share this and im actually really proud of it. happy reading <3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

You’re sitting at your usual spot in the library on your college campus when a book is slammed down on your table, ripping a yelp from your chest as you practically jump out of your skin. You look up to see a smug grin splayed on full, pale pink lips.

Brown eyes sparkle back at you mischievously and before he even opens his mouth, you just know he’s going to say something to purposely aggravate you.

“I don’t want to know, nor do I care.” you grumble before turning back to your book.

“Where the Crawdads Sing.” Seungmin hums, “Didn’t know you had taste,” You ignore him and turn the page.

He huffs and plops down in the seat next to you, his knee brushing against yours as he does.

You snap your head up and admit defeat, placing a bookmark where you left off.

“Since you so rudely interrupted me,”

He rolls his eyes in response to your complaint, “Here we go again,”

“Don’t give me that.” you snap, “You came over here unannounced while I was clearly doing something. So tell me, what is it that you want to brag about now? Hm? Perfect score on the English essay? No wait- I know, you’ve finally succeeded in ass kissing every professor in the building.”

The entire time you were ranting, Seungmin sat with his chin in his palm, face angled towards you. His grin never faltered, which in turn only pissed you off more.

You snap your book shut and move to stand before you feel a hand tug on your sleeve, forcing you to sit.

“I didn’t come over here to brag,” Seungmin readjusts in his chair so his knees are poking the side of your bare thigh, the sudden contact sending warmth throughout you.

“I was hoping we could- I don’t know. Maybe we could be at least civil with each other?.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and your eyes widen.

“C-Civil?” you sputter while searching his face for any trace of ulterior motives.

He nods and fidgets a little. That’s when you realize that he’s nervous.

Seungmin is anything but nervous when it comes to talking to you. He’s always confident while spewing whatever insults he can think of on the spot.

“I uhm- I think I owe you an apology.”

“Excuse me?” That’s not what you meant to say.

Though, you’re fairly certain that whatever you were going to say would’ve come out ten times worse.

“Yeah.” he winces, “Fuck- you know I’m bad at this kind of stuff,” Seungmin huffs and runs a hand through his blonde hair.

“I’m sorry for being a dick,” his broad shoulders deflate and he looks like a weight was literally lifted off of him.

“You’re sorry?”

“Will you stop repeating me?” he scowls.

You can’t help but giggle a little, he couldn’t last two minutes into an apology without looking or sounding annoyed.

“‘M sorry. I just,” you bite your lip to stifle another laugh, “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day that Kim Seungmin apologized for- well, anything.”

He grumbles something incoherently and pushes his knee farther into your thigh. You swallow hard and look behind him at the now very interesting bookshelf.

Seungmin sighs and gets up without another word and leaves. You watch as he rounds the corner and slips through the door.

“What the hell just happened,” you blink and whisper to yourself.

After his sudden apology, Seungmin has avoided you for an entire week now. He won’t even spare you a glance. You’re complaining about it to your best friend, Hyunjin, who also happens to be close with Seungmin.

Small world.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what happened but, like, could you maybe talk to him about it? He’s been killing the mood lately.” Hyunjin brings his iced americano to his lips while you form a bewildered expression.

“Me? You want me to talk to him?” you scoff and lean back in your chair, “Why should I have to? He apologized, I listened. End. Of. Story.”

“Why are you always so stubborn,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, placing his coffee on the table.

“Ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.” you huff and pinch the bridge of your nose. Hyunjin gives you an ‘are you serious’ look.

“If I let you put his number in my phone, will you shut up about it?” He grins and holds out his hand for you to give your phone to him. “And you’re buying me another coffee.”

[You] - cheer up

[Intellectual Demon] - who is this?

[You] - jinnie said that you’ve been a real downer since apologizing to me

[Intellectual Demon] - it’s not even that bad

[You] - i can feel the frown radiating off of you rn

[You] - it’s your aura.

Seungmin smiles to himself proudly. After all, it was his idea to get Hyunjin to give you his number.

Now all he has to do is convince you to meet with him. He’s got it all mapped out; you’ll meet with him at his place, he’ll confess, you’ll reciprocate his feelings and you live happily ever after.

The guy gets the girl, like he always does. It’s a simple, foolproof plan.

Right?

“Yeah, no thanks. I’m good.”

Wrong.

Seungmin was so wrong. Immediately after you pick up the phone he’s already hit with a groan and a ‘what do you want now?’ Nonetheless, he pushed through and asked you to go to his place. You declined, which shouldn’t have surprised him, but it does. Seungmin thought that if he apologized all would be forgiven and you would be more willing to speak to him.

Though, he can only blame himself. He fell-and crashed- first, hard. Instead of admitting his feelings to you, and himself, he tried his hardest to distance himself from you, making you find him unbearable to be around. It worked, of course.

Seungmin wishes it didn’t. He wishes he would’ve just grown a pair and told you. He wishes he didn’t feel so unlovable.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to make your attraction obvious. Someone can only take so much rejection, however. You stopped flirting, stopped even looking in his direction at one point. Seungmin made it crystal clear that he wanted nothing to do with you, and now that he’s apologized you can’t help but catch those feelings all over again.

“Please, just- what do I need to do for you to come here?” Seungmin’s voice echoes through your head, bouncing off the sides as you feel yourself slowly start to give in.

You seriously should stop being a pushover.

“Send me your address, I’ll be there soon.” There’s a pause at the end of the line when Seungmin mutes himself and screams into his pillow.

tags: @godslino @skzstarnet @anakin-sweetheart

dividers: @chaeneuu

#gia's fic recs 💗 #seungmin 🐶

[innieandsungielover]

Morning sunshine

a/n: sleepy and mid-day lazy-ish sex with Lix! 18+ Minors DNI! pairing: Bf!Felix x afab!Reader wc: 1.6k cw: switch! Lix, switch! reader, unprotected sex, cumming inside, mostly smut with a bit of fluff, sleepy sex, oral (m! receiving), dick riding...

You woke up, Lix pressed against your side, his hard-on prominent and rutting into your cunt. “Lixie?” you whined, his pace not stopping. 

“Sorry baby, just feeling so needy” he whined, kissing your neck, his head buried into it. 

“Let me take care of you baby” you whined, but he wouldn’t let you turn around to face him. “No, wanna take care of you” he whimpered, his hand traveling down your stomach and into your shorts and panties. You were already wet and he could feel it.  

“Felix” you moaned as his fingers began to play with your clit. “Feels good doesn’t it?” he asked, slowly inserting his finger into you, slowly thrusting it inside of you. Even with his small hands, he could still reach that spot inside of you that drove you crazy.

You could feel as he humped his hard-on into your ass slightly, moaning into you as he added another finger into your cunt. Your moans fill the room, your body convulsing indicating to him that you were close. Your breath getting heavier, but right before you came, he pulled his fingers out of your sopping cunt. 

“Please, I was so close. Why would you do that Lix?” you whined, feeling like a kid whose balloon got popped. 

“I thought I was the horny one?” he giggled, releasing his cock from his boxers, running the tip against your pussy. “I just want to make you feel good and make you cum on my cock, can’t you let me do that?” 

You just nodded, lifting your leg slightly, his tip smacking on your clit, causing the both of you to groan. 

“Please, stop teasing baby” you whimpered next to him. He just laughed, “Such a cutie, begging for my cock” He kissed your cheek before slowly pushing the tip of his cock inside of you. 

He moaned at the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him before he slowly began to thrust inside of you, causing the both of you to whimper. 

His pace was slow since both of you were lying down, but you were too lazy to change positions, but he was hitting so deep inside of you.

You could feel yourself getting close, especially after he ripped the orgasm you were so close to, it was easy to get you close to your high again. 

He slowly brought his finger down to your clit, causing you to clench your walls around him again.

“Am I taking your cock well?” you whined, his cock rutting inside of you. “Of course baby” he grinned, picking up his pace slightly while lifting your thigh a bit higher into the air. 

The slight change in position allowed him to hit that spongey spot inside of you. “So close” you whined as he began thrusting into you faster while he sucked on your neck, marking it. It was the extra stimulation that allowed you to cum, and the band inside your stomach snapped your thighs shaking due to the stimulation. 

You clamped your pussy around his cock, causing him to whine behind you. 

“Ah baby, don’t do that. I’m so close, let me cum. You can do that for me can’t you?” 

You just nodded, feeling his cock twitch inside you, you knew he was close to his high. You squeezed your walls around his cock, causing him to spill his seed inside of you.

“Stay like this” you whispered, feeling your eyelids getting heavier at every passing moment, he had fucked you back to sleep. 

“My poor baby” he chuckled before wrapping his arms around you, covering the two of you with a blanket. 

After a couple of hours, you felt the sun across your face, Felix still behind you, his arms wrapped around you. 

You removed yourself from him, causing him to whine. “Baby gotta get ready for the day, we can’t just be covered in cum” 

“Fine” he whined, rubbing his eyes, his freckles even more prominent in the morning sun. “Good boy” you giggled, kissing his lips. 

“Want to take a bath while I change the sheets?” he asked as you covered your body with your shirt that was thrown about hours prior. “Mhm,” you hummed, walking towards the bathroom and turning on the warm water in the tub. 

The two of you sat in the bubble-filled water for what felt like hours, talking about work for the both of you. You complain about your annoying boss who wasn’t doing his part but still dared to tell you that you weren’t doing your work. Felix was telling you about how Minho had worked him like a dog the past week learning the choreography, which you just giggled at, kissing his lips to help relax him. 

The two of you got dressed, and you lay on the bed as Felix decided to play a couple of rounds of Genshin to relax on his day off. 

Two hours had gone by of you scrolling through your phone as he played on his PC, his headset blocking any external sounds. 

You were getting a bit hungry, but didn’t know what Felix would be in the mood for, looking up you saw his brows were scrunched as his fingers clacked around his custom-made keyboard. 

“Lix” you called out, but he didn’t hear you. “Lee Yongbok Felix!” you shouted, hoping it would get his attention, but your attempts seemed futile. 

“Fuck it” you muttered to yourself, slowly getting on your hands and knees, venturing under his desk as quietly as possible. He didn’t even notice, too immersed in the game playing about in front of him. 

It wasn’t until he felt your hand palm his cock through his sweat pants, the only thing stopping you from touching his cock. 

“Babe, what are you doing?” he whined, muting himself and pushing back the left speaker from his ear. Your hand pressing harder onto his semi-hardened cock. 

“Shhh, go back to playing your game baby, it’s why you didn’t want to listen to me” You grinned, slowly pulling down his sweats, taking in his cock. 

“But baby” he whined, his hips bucking up slightly as you took his cock in your hand, your thumb playing with the slit. 

“Be a good boy and play your game, can’t you do that for me?” you grinned, taking the tip of his cock in your mouth. 

“Fuck” he groaned, throwing his head back before putting his headphones back on, and unmuting himself. 

“Yongbok, where were you? We are going to lose if you just go MIA without telling us” Jeongin whined, the faint sound of his voice blasting through Lix’s headphones.

“Sorry, just had to go to the bathroom real quick” he replied back, his tone softer than before, too scared that he was going to moan into his mic due to the way your mouth was taking his cock. 

You slowly removed your mouth from the tip before spitting on it, your hand moving up and down his cock easily with the extra lubrication of spit on your hand.

You slowly took his cock back in your mouth, holding it in there as you got your phone, scrolling through Instagram, not caring about the whine he let out. 

Twenty minutes had passed, your mouth cockwarming him. It wasn’t until you heard him shout, his palms hitting the desk that you began to suck his cock again. 

"Fuck, can't you protect me Jeongin?" he whined, thrusting his cock into your mouth. You gagged slightly, causing him to moan above you. “Dude, are you getting your dick sucked right now?” Jeongin shouted, his voice being heard through the headphones. 

“I gotta go, bye” Felix whined, turning his mic off and throwing his headphones onto his desk. He pushed his chair back, his cock slipping from between your lips. 

“Up, now.” he grinned, watching as you crawled from under his desk and into his lap, his cock pressed against his stomach as he pulled your shorts and underwear in one go, your cunt wet already. 

He took advantage of fucking you already, running the tip of his cock into you before grabbing your hips and pushing you down on him, the two of you moaning at the intrusion.

“Fuck, my baby has such a nice cock” you giggled, watching the way Felix’s cheeks reddened at your compliment. 

“My baby’s cock is so big, can’t wait to ride it” you pouted, slowly lifting your hips up before pushing yourself back on his cock. “Fuck!” you whined as you began to ride him, his hips jutting up into you, causing the both of you to groan, his cock hitting that spongey spot inside of you due to the angle he was thrusting up into you. 

“Such a good pussy” he whined his head thrown back, his hips jutting into you. “I’m so close” he whined, “It’s okay baby boy, cum for me” You kissed his lips, purposefully tightening your walls around his cock, allowing him to cum again.

“We have to get cleaned up again” you giggled, his cock still inside of you. “But you didn’t get to cum baby” he pouted, looking at you with his pretty eyes. 

“It’s okay Lixie” You pushed his hair back, kissing his forehead. “At least let me eat you out then?” he grinned, lifting the two of you from the bed before throwing you on the bed. 

“I’m not opposed to that” you grinned as he pulled you off his cock, throwing you on the bed. 

“I knew you wouldn’t be” 

#gia writes! #gia's thoughts! #skz smut #skz x reader #stray kids smut #straykids smut #straykids x reader #stray kids x reader #felix #lee felix #felix smut #lee felix x reader #lee felix smut #felix x reader

[innieandsungielover]

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!?!! This was so cute I just wanna eat him omg.

slowly to me

=͟͟͞♡ virgin!felix × noona!fem reader

=͟͟͞♡ bestfriends/roommates to lovers

word count: 7.4K

content warning: explicit sexual content, sub!felix, soft dom!noona reader, felix is a virgin, corruption kink if you squint, mutual masturbation, clit play, fingering, cock play, dirty talk, unprotected sex (as usual), creampie, they are clueless idiots in love.

a/c: i wanted to write this for the longest time and now i am kinda nervous sharing it because it feels more personal (?) and intimate than usual. hope you will enjoy it ♡

[00:17 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

noona 💙

are you awake?

please tell me you are

I can't find my keys 😪

i know it's late

don't hate me

You blink your eyes open a few times. The sound of your phone buzzing on your nightstand is insistent over the chattering noise coming from your laptop. You must have fallen asleep more than 30 minutes ago, considering that you are not familiar with the episode of the anime you are currently watching. Your fingers brush against the cover of your phone and you finally grab it with a sleepy grunt. When you unlock it, not without typing the wrong code twice, you notice that your chat with Felix is already open, a few notifications popping on the screen.

[00:18 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

noona 😪😪

[00:18 AM] you

where are you now

[00:18 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

outside 😪

noona, my savior

my only light in the darkness 💙

You force yourself to sit on the bed as you yawn. When you read the last text, you chuckle despite of how sleepy you feel. It's a little bit late to be coming back home, even for Felix, but you don't mind. Felix usually stays awake till dawn, always prone to chat and watch tv series together whenever you cannot sleep. You help each other in your own ways, yours being the responsible counterpart in your household.

You find your slippers with your feet and you finally stand up, heading outside of your room and to the corridor. It's pretty warm already this time of year, and you don't even bother putting on something over your light pajamas. It's just Felix anyway, he did see you at your worst so many times that you cannot even remember.

When you open the door, Felix is fighting with the zipper of his denim jacket. He is dressed casually, almost as if he didn't put any effort on what he was going to wear. A pink hoodie is picking out from his black slacks, and his hair is styled in a messy bun, a few locks escaping from the hair tie and covering his eyes.

"Noona, I owe you." he huffs, offering you a toothy smile as soon as you let him in.

"Don't mention it. I don't even have plans for tomorrow morning, I can just sleep in." you yawn in response, plopping on the couch and closing your eyes again.

Felix hums and throws his jacket on the nearest chair of your shared living room before letting himself fall next to you, face immediately finding its favorite place into the crook of your neck.

"How was your date?" you ask him, circling his shoulders with your arm and letting him scooch closer to you.

You feel his cold nose nuzzling against your collarbones and you chuckle, bringing your hand to the top of his head and starting to untie the loose bun. Felix puffs and you can hear his lips curving into a small pout.

"As always." he mumbles. "He was cute. Funny. He paid for my order."

You nod, and your fingers find their way up to his scalp, scratching it lightly and pulling a soft grunt out of his lips. "But..." you add, waiting for the inevitable epilogue.

"But..." he shifts from his position to lay down with his face on your lap. "- I felt nothing. He was very handsome, and smart. He was nice. I could tell he would make a great boyfriend. But I just looked at him and... I couldn't see myself kissing him, or touching him. It felt like looking at a nice painting, you know? I don’t know what is wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you, Lix." you murmur in the dark. Your thumb moves from his soft locks and start circling the plump skin of his cheek. Felix huffs again and rub his nose against your lower stomach. He does it often, and it makes him look like a small kitten looking for some comfort. Your heart always sinks at that.

"I am serious." you continue. "Feelings cannot be controlled. It's not your fault if you didn't feel attracted to him. Maybe he just wasn't the one."

Felix looks at you from his position, his big pleading eyes are a little tired.

"And who will be the one, noona? I am 23 and I didn't find a single person yet. I didn't even... you know." Felix lets out a sarcastic chuckle. "Can you tell how hard is it to reach this age without experimenting with anyone? I feel left out."

"Does it bother you so much? Being a virgin?" you ask him. Felix and you are used to talk a lot about everything without any sort of embarassment, but he only mentioned the topic of his inexperience a few times in your many years of friendship.

You didn't believe him at first. Felix was... Felix. The most precious human being on earth, smart and kind, generous and funny, witty and reliable. Your bestfriend, your proclaimed soulmate, and the prettiest person you've ever seen. Him being a virgin sounded like a joke to you. He confessed it when he was 18 at the time, and he was a little tipsy after a few bottles of beers you two had shared after moving into your new apartment. You could tell he was an uncomfortable topic for him, and you never asked him again. You just told him that he was young, and that the situation would change quickly in the following months.

But years passed, five to be exact. And Felix didn't have sex with anyone. He finished college, started working and met people, he started dating even, but as soon as the people he was seeing asked him for something more, he shut everything down and disappeared from their lives.

"It does bother me, yes." he answers quietly. "Because I am not afraid of intimacy itself. I just... don't feel the right attraction. I want to, but I can't. All these pretty boys I met, and the furthest I've gone is kissing. I don't know what to do, noona."

Felix shudders and you pull him closer to you. His voice is almost a whisper and his breathing is getting a little heavy. Your fingers go back to stroke through his hair gently, as you try to calm him down.

"Have you considered dating girls?" you ask him. "You told me you felt more comfortable with them."

Felix's arms circle your waist as he hugs you tight. He looks at you intently with a shy smile. He looks so tiny all curled up like this.

"I do love girls. More than boys actually. I thought about that a lot." He murmurs as he pulls you so close that your stomach is pressed completely against his cheek. "But I feel shy around them. I cannot help but think that I would mess everything up. With boys... it would be easier. I know how a male body works. But I have no clue on how to, uh —"

You chuckle at his words and you lean forward to pinch at his nose, amused by his reaction. "How to touch them?" you smile at him.

Felix laughs and lets out a breathless sigh. He pulls away slightly, though keeping his eyes locked on you. You can see a light blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.

"Uhm, yes. That." His voice is still playful, but can hear the nervousness in his breath as well. "You know I have never kissed a girl before. Just boys. Uh–, I know nothing, noona." he exhales.

You scrunch your nose and you let yourself relax against the sofa behind you. Felix's arms are still linked tightly around your waist. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Lix." you breathe out. "Human nature will do its thing. When you'll find yourself in that situation, your body will know what to do."

"I'm not so sure." he murmurs, starting to rub his nose against your hipbone, sniffing at the fabric like he always does when he is feeling a little overwhelmed.

Your hand finds its way toward the back of his neck and you apply a slight pressure on the skin there. Felix lets out a shaky breath.

"You will see. With the right person, you won't feel uncomfortable at all. It's normal to don't know stuff, you know. We've all been there. And each body, each person, is different. You can figure things out along the way, by asking and learning." you try to reassure him. "It's not a performance. You should just focus on feeling good and let the other person feel good too. I promise it's not so complicated as you think."

Felix hums quietly and a mellow silence falls around you. The room is still dark, it should be around 1 a.m. now, but a beam of moonlight shines through the window, reflecting small glimpses of silver upon Felix's hair.

Felix feels small and soft on your lap. He is still hugging you, and you know him enough to sense that he is restraining himself somehow. You can feel the distress in the way his tiny hands are fisting the cotton of your pajamas around your waist.

"Lixie, sweetheart..." you murmur, voice little higher than a sigh. Felix holds tighter on you, as if he was scared of you running away. As if you could.

The fact is that you love Felix. You always did, in a way. You cannot tell exactly when you fell in love with him, but it happened sometime between your last year of highschool and your freshman year of college. You remember Felix grabbing your hand when you graduated in summer, sweat under your dress from being exposed to the hot sun, waiting for your speech. You remember him intertwining your fingers and smiling at you with devoted eyes when he helped you moving in your new dormitory. You remember him wetting your shoulder with warm tears because you were going to be separated from each other for the first time. And, oh. At a certain point you just knew.

You never talked about that, of course. You didn't think you needed to. Things between you were perfect already, and you were happy you've managed to slip neatly into your routine. Felix needs you in a way nobody else can comprehend. And you need him too, in a slight different way. And it's okay, you've always been good at managing your own feelings.

"Noona..." he answers timidly.

"What are you thinking about? I can hear the sound of your brain working no stop." you shrug, looking at him. The moonlight looks the ideal light to admire him, you find yourself admitting.

Felix looks over at you, his lips upturned with a reluctant smile. "It's just... I don't think I will ever find this person." he sighs softly.

"Why so? I cannot imagine anyone who wouldn't want to be with you. You are perfect." you say, eyes jumping down to Felix's delicate frame. His button nose covered in freckles scrunches a bit over the line of his plump lips. They look moist. They must be soft.

From his gaze, you can see that your words are the last thing Felix was expecting to hear from you. "Because–" he stutters while the pressure of his hands on you becomes almost too much, "–there is already... ugh, nevermind."

The silence that follows his semi-confession is heavy on you. You freeze at the admission, and you can tell from his eyes that he didn't mean to let that slip. That's it – you think – there is someone. Someone who Felix cares about, maybe that he even loves, and that is keeping him from living his life freely. Someone who apparently doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, given that Felix is trying to see other people and complaining about them with you.

Fuck, that hurts. You could have seen it coming, but it still hurts.

You open your mouth to formulate any sort of coherent words of encouragement that you can master, but Felix decides to move from his position at the same time you shifted on the sofa to look at him. All the impact of your bodies do is give gravity a push, and you both go down with a loud humph, landing on the couch with your limbs all entangled. Felix groans as his back collides with the leather, and you open your eyes to check up on him, only to stop as soon as you realize how close you are to each other.

His lean and warm body is all pressed up against the cushions, and suddenly any trace of stoicism has fled the situation. You don't even remember what you were going to say, to be honest. All you are conscious of is Felix's body and the way his eyes are looking at you, making you flush with an unknown tenderness. You take a deep breath and the realization that you can feel his parted thighs caging your hips and his arms pawing at your shirt hits you hard. And maybe it's the late hour, maybe it's because you've spent the last hour talking your hearts out – and the last years repressing your feelings –, or maybe it's because Felix looks so vulnerable like this.

Whatever it is, instead of laughing everything off and move from this awkward position, you keep looking at him as some strands of hair fall onto his forehead and his breathing gets a little quicker. You find yourself thinking that maybe this is the most beautiful Felix has ever been.

"Noona." he murmurs, and you can feel how the air shifts around you. His make-up is a little bit smudged around his eyes, you notice, and you lift your hand to rub at the corner of his eyelid with your finger. Felix trembles lightly as you touch him, and desire tugs at you, pushing you towards a path that you know it's not wise.

"Noona–" he breathes out again, this time not much louder than a whisper. "I want to try something."

"Felix," you say unsteadily as Felix's hand grab at your pajamas a little more firmly. "This isn't a good idea."

"Why so?" he asks, voice all tiny, shifting closer to you anyway. Everytime you try to look awak from his lips, it's like your eyes have been glued in place. "You said that with the right person it wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I– you.. I don't feel uncomfortable with you."

You sigh at his words. You are sure there is almost a thousand reasons why you shouldn't do this. First of all, Felix doesn’t love you. Not the way you do, at least. And he is hurting now, he is sad. He is not in the conditions of taking such a decision. But you can hardly manage a coherent thought right now, with him being this close to you. He doesn't like you back, you cannot do this.

"Felix, I am honored that you trust me this much. I really am." you manage, but your voice sounds faint. "But his is not the right thing to do now. You don't want it to happen this way."

At that, Felix pauses and looks at you. He bites his lip, as if he was looking for the right words, and his eyes looks different, almost watery. "Don't you..." he stutters, "Am I not good enough?"

You blink in confusion and a thick layer of guilt fills your stomach to the brim. You hate seeing Felix in distress, you cannot stand the way his timid smile leaves his face. You would give him the moon if that would make him happy.

"Oh no, Felix, sweetheart," you confess, bringing your hand to cup his cheek. The freckled skin feels soft and warm under your fingers. "This is not what I meant. I just– fuck," you swear in protest. "I just don't think I am the right choice. You deserve the right person for this."

Felix’s gaze fractures and he suddenly lets out the tiniest sigh, a pleading look framing his delicate traits. He turns his face to the left, leaning on your touch and he rubs his nose on the palm of your hand.

"Noona, you are not the right person. You are my person." he shyly admits, voice muffled on your skin. "But I can understand if you don't want this. If you don't want me the way I do. I am sorry for bringing this out, I should have kept that for myself."

You freeze, guilt becoming dread and pooling on your stomach. Oblivious to any of this, Felix gives you a small, sad smile and continues, "I tried to ignore it, believe me, I did. I kept myself from feeling this much because I knew it wasn't the same for you. But I can't help it, noona. I started seeing other people in the hope that it would eventually fade away. But it didn't. And now I am making a fool out of myself." Felix looks over at you and his smile is not the one you are used to see on his face. "Sorry for ruining everything," he sighs, "I just love you."

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

You feel a fist of air being pushed out of your lungs like a truck. Felix's eyes are big and sweet, and a single tear escapes from his lashes to roll down the apple of his cheek. You fucked up. You fucked up so bad. You misunderstood everything. Guilt nestles in your chest like a stone, scraping at your heart.

"Felix." you say, your voice sounding foreign and groggy, "Felix. You love me? You love me?"

Felix's eyes jump down to your lips just for a second, and then back at you. He sniffs as he brings his free hand to his face, rubbing the tear away. "I do." he admits. "I really do."

The truth in his tone has you let out an inaudible gasp. Then, in the span of a second, just the time of a blink, everything changes.

"Say it again." you whisper as your eyes lock into Felix's. And then Felix opens his mouth, just barely, and his muttered words stay still on the tip of his tongue.

"Say it." you repeat as your thumb shifts, stroking slowly along his jaw and down to his chin. "Wanna hear it again."

Felix blinks, and he looks like he can't come up with something to say at all. "Noona, what are you, uh–" he gasps when your fingers catch his bottom lip, pinching it a little to enjoy its softness.

"Lix, sweetheart..." you whisper, letting your face fall slowly down to his neck. The insides of your tighs press against the outside of Felix's as to trap him there. "You want me, uh? You love me?" you tease him, your hand coming up to steady him by the chin, keeping him still while your mouth finally founds the tender skin of his neck and you place a single peck under his earlobe. "I wanna hear you saying it."

A weak whimper makes itself known at the bottom of Felix's throat when you angle your head to the side and leave a humid trail of kisses all along the column of his neck. "Noona, I... why are you – ah – why are you doing t-this?" he mutters with a sigh.

You grin against his skin at the sound of his affected voice, and you nose at his chin blowing another tiny peck there. "Just say it." you repeat.

Felix's eyes are semiclosed now, but his pupils are wide and dark, and your grip on his jaw tightens a bit. Just another wet kiss on his Adam's apple is sufficient to convince him to give you what you're asking for. "I want you." he grumbles as his legs start to tremble under your weight. "I love you." he breathes.

And that's it. Felix doesn’t have the time to even realize what is going on before you are pressing down with purpose, your lips firm against his and your hands buried in his hair as he lets out a tiny sob. His mouth is cherry red and sweet, and your lips slid against it, applying just the right amount of pressure to have him melting against the couch. The kiss feels almost electric, and the low groan Felix exhales bubbles up into the back of your throat.

Felix is soft, and his body becomes malleable and pliant beneath your touch as soon as he clings onto you with fervent hands, a little desperate to keep hold of how good he is feeling. He moans beautifully every time your lips detach from the his to catch some breath, and his fingers find your face too, curling against your cheeks and keeping you close to him.

As soon as your tongue licks languidly at his bottom lip, his mouth opens up to let the warm muscle slip into his mouth with a low grunt. You can feel that Felix is not experienced in the way he is unable to do anything but tremble with pleasure in the bracket of your arms as your lips glide against his, slick and wet. He lets out another whimper as your tongue licks the roof of his mouth and your head feels dizzy and heavy with desire.

You cannot remember the last time you felt this good and this right, to be honest. Felix’s confession is still lingering in your brain as your hips press against his in a swift movement, coaxing a soft moan out of the boy under you. You smile in the kiss, feeling as if everything in the universe was finally in its designed place and, at the same time, all condensed in the way the two of you are wrapped up in each other so tightly that you can’t keep track of where one of you starts and ends.

Reluctanly, you force yourself to separate from Felix's tender mouth just a few millimiters. "Lix, baby," you whisper lovingly on his lips. "You have no idea how long I wanted to do this."

"Y-you wanted this?" he pants, parting his legs more and allowing you to slot your body inbetween of them. His breath is sticky and hot and you feel yourself getting restless on top of him.

"Sweetheart. You have no idea how much I love you. How much I want you." you confess.

"But... but you've never–" he stutters under your gaze. "Oh God, don't tell me we've been this stupid!"

You chuckle and nod slowly. "Apparently, yes, we have been." you smile, and your chest is so full of fondness and love that it's hard to breathe. "And we wasted a lot of time. But at least we're here now."

Felix nods timidly and you lean in again, this time just kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin under his chin. You move closer to Felix's ear and then back towards his jaw. He starts to breathe harder, hands clutching the shirt of your pajamas, and his thumb brushes against the hardened nub of your nipple, making you hiss quietly.

Felix moans when you start licking at his lips again.

"Good?" you ask, smiling against his skin.

Felix nods. "Yeah. Y-you can keep going."

You comply, because you could never deny anything to him. You softly suck his upper lip between your teeth and let it go with a loud pop. Then you move to his neck again, and you bite him carefully a few times until Felix starts to squirm beneath you. The thought that you are the first person, the first woman, doing this to him has heat rushing to your face and you wonders if Felix wants to do more, or if he wants to keep things over the clothes. You are okay waiting. You've waited for years.

"Can I… can I ask you something?" he stutters when your hands find his hips and you start caressing them in with tiny circles.

"Of course, Lix. You can ask me anything." you reassure him, rising your head from the crook of his neck and looking at him fondly.

"You know what we were talking about before," he breathes shyly, eyes semiclosed and teary. "I wasn't able to do anything with all the people I dated because... they were not you." he admits. "And – uh, I don't know how to say this. It's embarassing."

Felix sighs as he tries to hide his face behind his hands, but you stop him by grabbing his wrists.

"Do you want to try? Now?" you ask calmly, ignoring the burning lava that is flooding into your veins at the thought of having Felix like that, just for you.

Felix nods again, all soft and timid. "I wanna try. With you." he mutters as his hips buck involuntarily against yours for the first time. And that's when you notice that Felix is hard under you, cock stirring to life when you grind down into him as a response to his movement. "B-but I don't know anything, noona. You have to show me."

You hover your face over Felix's for a moment, searching something into his eyes before diving in again for a kiss. Felix hums languidly against you and you pull his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it before letting it go slowly, teeth dragging. Felix groans deep in his chest and you can feel the vibrations go straight to your pussy. Then the realization that you are finally doing it hits you.

You. And Felix.

I need to stay focused, you think when you start feeling your head becoming too clouded with desire. Felix feels so tender and warm against you, and it's difficult to concentrate when your arousal begins to pool in your panties, just a few layers of fabric separating your core from Felix's poor neglected cock. The kisses get sloppier but Felix doesn’t seem to mind, and you quickly find a rhythm between the movements of your lips and the gentle rocking of your body against his.

"What do you want to do, sweetheart? You can tell me." you hum as your mouth latches again onto the spot between Felix's neck and shoulder, sucking and then soothing the skin with your tongue.

"Ah, fuck…" Felix curses when your hand finally trails down his chest and lightly grazes his cock from over his pants. He feels sensitive and overwhelmed in the best way possible, and he feels like he is losing his mind already. "W-want to touch you, noona, please. Please, I've been wanting to touch you forever."

A tiny moan escapes from your parted lips at Felix's confession and you are pretty sure that your panties are now ruined for good. You can feel the hot stickiness gluing them to your entrance.

"Okay, baby." you sigh, shifting your weight in order to lift your hips a little from Felix's body. "You can touch me. I'll show you how. Is that what you want?"

Felix pants and his fists close again on your shirt as if he's trying to steady himself. "Y-yes please. Show me." he answers, and he looks completely blissed out, hair as a messy crown around his beautiful face.

"Okay." you concede, gathering all of your weight on your right arm to pull down both your pajamas shorts and underwear with just one quick motion, air finally hitting pungently the heath of your pussy.

Felix gulps and you see his Adam's apple bobbing deliciously as he stares at the way a sticky string of slick is connecting your entrance to the cotton of your panties. You feel your core pulsing at the sight and you let the garnments fall on the ground, climbing back to Felix's body and straddling his lap.

Felix looks up to you, but his eyes keep flicking back between your face and the mound of your pussy, and you try to thrust gently against the hard fabric of his jeans, just over his hardened erection. When you rock your hips tentatively on his bulge, your clit gets caught on the cold metal of his belt, making you hiss. Your pussy throbs, releasing a gush of arousal over where Felix's cockhead should be.

"Lixie, baby." you breathe out. "Noona needs your hand for this."

Felix cheeks are as red as cherries and he hiccups at your request, nodding twice and pliantly offering you his right hand. He places it just near your thigh, not daring to get any closer to your heath without any given permission.

You smile softly at him and you wrap your thumb and index around his wrist, bringing his palm to the front of your pussy and letting it brush against the hood of your clit for just a second. "I guess you watched porn before, uh, baby?" you ask him grinding gently on his hand. "I think you know a bit about female anatomy already."

Felix sighs and a wanton moan rises from his throat when he feels your engorged clit bumping against his skin. "Y-yes, I have." he blushes.

You laugh breathily at his shyness and you let his hand slide past your front to eventually press on your labia, guiding his slim fingers to spread the wetness gushing from your hole.

"Usually I prefer to be stimulated here," you say, nudging the pad of his thumb against your sensitive bud. "In little circles." and you move your hand in tandem with him, circling your clit and trembling a little from his insecure touch. Another spurt of arousal drips from your pussy and coaxes Felix's fingers, making him moan.

"But now I want it inside." Your voice is sickengly sweet, and Felix looks like he is one step away from hyperventilating. His teeth dig on his bottom lip and he sighs in pleasure.

"Please," he whines. "Please, let me."

You roll your hips so that the tips of his fingers catch your entrance, and suddenly you sink down in just one motion. His middle and ring finger meet you halfway, and he watches your face in adoration as the two digits push into you. You let out a small whimper when his palm finds your mound again, and you finally sit on him fully.

"Ah – noona. G-god." he keens as he feels his fingers wrapped up with your warmth.

You lift up from him, desperate for some friction, your hand still grabbing his wrist to guide him and help him. "Baby, fuck, finally." you grunt as your hips swing forward and back to create a sort of rhythm. "Wanted you like this for the longest time, you have no idea."

Felix mewls as he hears the squelching sound of his hand against your throbbing cunt. The schlick schlick is filthy and loud, and his head starts spinning. "Noona, you are so soft, so warm. Fuck, why are you so wet?" he cries, eyes big and round and locked at the way your pussy is engulfing a part of himself.

The drag of his fingers makes your head floaty and you grind further down onto his knuckles, the stretch making you want more and more.

"That's how it's supposed to be with a woman, sweetheart. We are programmed to take." you chuckle breathily as you slowly but steadily fuck yourself onto Felix's fingers. "But you are too, right? My sweet boy. You are just taking what I am giving to you, isn't it?"

Felix moans and his pads involuntarily curl upwards, brushing against your gummy spot as his head falls back, deep groans tumbling out of his parted lips. "Ah – too wet noona, too wet. I wanna, w-wanna..."

"What? What do you want, baby? Tell me, I wanna hear." You sound rightfully out of breath while you fuck mercilessly Felix's digits and you flood his hand with your juices. You shift forward to kiss him on the mouth and his palm finds your clit again, sending jolts of pleasure through your spine.

"Wanna... w-wanna be with you. Please, noona, I've waited. I need – oh, God – I need you fully. I l-love you so much, I always wanted it to be with you." he sighs against your mouth before you can slot your lips together and lace your tongue on his, sucking the wet muscle slowly until Felix is reduced as a squirming mess under you.

"Oh my sweet boy, my angel," you praise him as you try to slow down your movements. If you keep going with this pace you will cum too soon, and you want to finish together with Felix for your first time.

Felix follows your mouth and with his free hand he timidly brushes your left breast, staring at the way it bounces with every thrust of your hips on his hand. It looks mesmerized by the way your body moves and gets wet over him, preparing itself to welcome him inside even if he doesn't properly know what to do.

With a low grunt, you force yourself to stop your thrusts and you peck Felix on his tumid, soft lips. His hand falls uselessly on his hip while you balance your body on his waist to finally get rid of your last piece of clothing, throwing the filmsy shirt of your pajamas away.

Felix looks at your naked body as he if he was admiring a painting and, despite of your confidence, you find yourself blushing a little under his devoted gaze. You dreamt about this moment so much, pondering that it would never come, and now it feels almost surreal to have Felix all for you as you always wanted.

"I love you, Felix." you whisper lovingly, a tear stuck on the corner of your eye. "I love you so much."

And Felix beams. His eyes, watery with pleasure, lit up and bring a smile on his beautiful face, the face that you wished you could caress and claim as yours for so many years. "I am yours, noona. Please, make me yours." he murmurs softly.

You kiss him again, and it's hungrier this time, even more than the kisses you already shared. And then the kissing melts into licking, and then into biting, until Felix's hand finds your waist and then falls to cup your ass.

"I need you out of these clothes in 10 seconds." you mutter with a breathy sound, and Felix is fervent to obey, getting rid quickly of his pants and underwear, and throwing his pink hoodie away, far from you.

When you crawl back into his lap, Felix is sitting on the couch. You find your place on his legs, straddling him until you are face to face and you can hear the sweet sound of his erratic breathing against your ear.

"I want to do it like this." you breathe out, gently nipping at his lips and then placing a small kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Wanna see you."

Felix sighs and his aching cock, now finally free from the constriction of his pants, throbs against your lower belly, spurting a gush of precum which dribbles into your navel. "I can't believe this is really happening." he hiccups, pleasure making his head feel dizzy.

You smile fondly. "Me neither." And you bring your hand down, resting your hot palm over his shaft and giving pressure until you are dragging the skin of his cock up and down. Felix melts with a breathy mewl.

Felix has a perfect cock, you think, and then you say it out loud. "You have a perfect cock, baby."

Felix gasps and he throws his head back, hitting the cushion of the couch. You can see that his face is flushed with arousal and embarassment, and that makes you feel lightheaded.

"So perfect," you continue, playing with your fingers and bringing your thumb to the engorged tip, smearing the thick droplets of precum all along his aching muscle until you graze his balls. "Perfect size, perfect girth, perfect color. You know how pretty your cock is, baby? Not too long, but chubby. I love it."

"Noona," Felix sighs painfully, thighs parting under your weight to give you more space. He looks fucked up, and you barely touched him.

"I want to play with it forever," you say, picking up your pace and jerking him fully. "And I will do it. I will touch this sweet cock all day long, making it cum so many times, making it feel so so so good."

"Please, please, please." Felix keens and throbs again on your hand, now hard as a rock and trying to stay as still as he can.

"It looks so tasty, too. Wanna slurp it in one bite." You whisper as you swirl your index on the slit of his cockhead and Felix lets out the sweetest groan you could imagine. It's so easy to pleasure him, and he responds to you so well.

"But not now," you reassure him. "Now I need you inside of me. Need you as deep as you can. Need you to be mine."

Felix forces his eyes open and his hands grip into the underside of your thighs, bringing you closer to him. You cross your arms behind his neck, slotting your lips together once again because you just can't get enough of Felix's breathy moans as you bring him to the edge with you.

"Noona, I don't, ah– I don't have a condom." he urges to tell you when you circle your hips against him and his tip catches the entrance of your pussy.

"We don't need a condom. I am on the pill, and I am clean." You pull away to mouth at Felix's neck, and you suck at the column until you are gliding your mouth over his Adam's apple. "And you are too, obviously. Don't worry about that, sweetheart. I need to feel you all hard and raw inside of me."

You kiss Felix again, breaths coming out in restless wisps, hips frantic. "Can you take it?" you ask against his lips, your right hand gripping Felix's wet cock. Felix nods, gulping loudly. With your arm reached behind you and your head dipped forward, you slap the tip against your cunt, eyes never leaving his face.

Felix swallows, and you can feel his heart racing as you nudge his cockhead against your heath, pussy clenching and unclenching for pleasure. You look at him in the eyes for one last time, and then you sink.

When Felix's tip breeches, you whimper at the stretch with you head lolled to the side. You push your hips down, taking Felix's chubby cock slowly until you’re seated on it. And, with his cock fully inside, Felix groans and tears finally spill from his eyes, wetting his cheeks and rolling down to his chin.

"Ah– oh, God, please! P-ple eh e-ease." he cries as he grips your hips so tight that he is gonna leave marks.

"Easy, baby. Easy." you pant, eyes rolling on your skull at the way the head of his cock presses perfectly on your spongy spot. Felix's tongue lolls out from his mouth, and you take the tip between your lips, suckling lightly on it before lifting your hips up and then slamming back again.

"It's too tight, too tight, too w-wet," Felix sobs, a dribble of saliva forming a tiny bubble at the top of his upper lip. You lower your head to look at the way you are taking Felix to the brim, his swollen balls resting on the curve of your ass, and you let out a lewd sound at the view.

But it's not enough, because this is Felix's first time, and you just know from the way he is trembling that he is not gonna last long, the poor angel he is. You played with him a bit too long considering his inexperience, and now you can feel him twitching inside of you, bringing you close as well with just a few pumps.

"I know, baby, I know. You feel so fucking good too. You fill me so well, look." And you take one of the hands that are gripping your hips, making it slide against your pussy to let him feel the point were you two are connected.

Felix grasps the base of his cock with his wrist and he tries to push it even deeper inside of your wet heath with a loud groan. "It's so, s-so good." he repeats mindlessly.

You gather all of your strength, gripping into Felix's shoulders in front of you and letting you knees carry your weight as you finally begin to ride his cock. You raise your ass up just to feel the tip catch at your rim only to force back down, fast and hard.

"Noona, ah– noona!" Felix grunts out, "F-fuck, I can't, I c-can't!"

At a particularly deep thrust, Felix cries out again, a slew of filthy words and many slurred versions of your name coming out of his red, juicy lips.

"Baby, Felix, baby." you moan, letting yourself fall against his chest and beginning to move your hips in circles. You feel his cock hitting deliciously at your cervix and your clit rubbing on Felix's hip bone.

"I lo-oh-ove you." Unable to help it, Felix begins to thrust up quickly, grinding his cock inside of you and smashing his warm cheek against you shoulder, as you involuntarily squeeze your walls around his shaft.

You are trying to make this last a little bit more, but a tight coil of pleasure starts to form on your lower belly, and Felix's heavy and raspy whines tell you that he is in your same conditions. "Feels so good, sweetheart. So thick and hot, you are making me cum, ah– so quick." you blabber, head feeling floaty. "Are you close too? Tell me you are close. Wanna come with you."

Felix hiccups and his thrusts become messy and erratic, cock leaking inside of you as you clench around him. "Close, close, s-so close." he picks you up by your thighs to throw you onto his cock as if you were weightless. "Can I, ah a-ahhh, w-where can I–?" he sobs out with every thrust.

"Inside, Lix, my love. Cum inside," you praise him. "So good to me. So good." And you whine as Felix fucks desperately into you, a thick layer of sweat on his freckled skin.

Two more pushes are what it takes to have your pussy clenching hard and tight around Felix, and as your clit rubs one last time against his pubic bone, your eyes roll backwards and you cum with a filthy long moan, flooding Felix's cock with your juices.

As the orgasm hits you, you smash your lips against Felix's and suffocate your whines on his mouth. As soon as Felix feels you pulsing around his drooly cock, you see him going cross-eyed. Then, he pushes almost violently into your heath and comes with one final, deep smash of his cock, filling you up.

Voice hoarse with pleasure and a little out of breath, Felix moans softly, face finding its comforting place in the crook of your neck. "I love you." he whispers.

You both stay silent for a couple of minutes, and you loll your head to the side to huff warm breaths that tickle Felix's temples.

"How do you feel?" You asks, bringing your fingers to slowly pet Felix's damp hair. You tongue feels heavy inside your mouth, and your legs muscles sting. But you are happy.

"I feel like I waited for this moment for my entire life." Felix's words are slow and shy, despite of what just happened between the two of you. You can feel him chuckling against your shoulder. "I still have to process what is going on."

"We have time." you murmur, kissing his forehead and hugging him lovingly, keeping him safe in your arms. "Now we have all the time in the world."

Felix smiles. The room is not dark anymore.

#gia's fic recs 💗 #Felix 🐣

[innieandsungielover]

oh my gosh.

#gia's thoughts! #holy moly! #jeongin #stray kids

[innieandsungielover]

If you need a good cry, watch Appa's Last Days, omfg...

#gia's thoughts!

[innieandsungielover]

WOAH, omg??!?!? This was so good, I'm literally in love with this series so far. Also, Han is such a cock block, like let my man Minho walk his girl home 😞

THE EXPERIENCE PROJECT | EP. 2 SECOND GUESSES

“You’re such a good girl, hm? I finally figured out how to turn you into a good girl for me, princess.”

[ abstract ]: Hyunjin—your long time crush—finally wants to ask you out. One small issue: you’re absolutely inexperienced regarding that matter. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. Gladly, Minho—your long time enemy who is part of your friend group—is there to help, teaching you all you need to know. Going on dates and, yes, also everything physical. All while he dearly hopes you won’t find out about the crush he has had on you for years.

[ general ]: minho + fem reader, [ hyunjin + fem reader ], enemies → lovers, college au, smut + angst + fluff, experienced minho, virgin reader, sunshine x grumpy, he falls first but she falls harder, please refer to series m.list for more info

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scene [ softdom minho, corruption kink, masturbation, slight exhibitionism, fingering ], very brief mention of cigarette smoking and drinking alcohol, lots of messy emotions :(((

[ words ]: 6.7K

[ note ]: the second part is here. Thank you SO MUCH for all the kind feedback on the first part I am still so shocked?? I would have never expected so many people to read and like it. I seriously feel so honoured 🌸 If you enjoyed this part too I’d appreciate it a lot to read your thoughts about how this story unfolds. Make sure to reblog/comment/send an ask my way! 🩷

To say you’ve had a very pleasant dream about Minho last night would be an understatement. He doesn’t seem to leave your mind, constantly keeping you occupied with thinking of him and the way his lips felt attached to your own. His touch still lingers on your body, how he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you closer, guiding you through your high without even needing to take off your clothes.

You would say no man has ever achieved that but, yeah, obviously no man has ever achieved that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have this contract and agreement with Minho. He’s here to help and tutor you (his words) until Hyunjin and you get closer. Hyunjin. Right. Your long time crush. There are only a few days left before he comes back and until then you still have some time to meet up with Minho and while all this is happening, get through the first week of this new semester. You’ve always hated Mondays—well, who doesn’t? But Mondays on a fresh start of a new college year are even worse. Nothing can come close to last semester when you spend the first seven days crying your heart out because Hyunjin left for Paris, but it’s still a rather annoying day.

Felix—the sunshine he is—made some breakfast for you, reminding you that you need lots of energy to get through your first classes. The two of you head to campus together and part your ways before you enter the building where your first course will be. Sinking down on one of the chairs further in the back of the room, you grab out all the stuff you need and check your phone another time. No message from Hyunjin. And neither a message from Minho although you don’t quite get why you’ve been secretly hoping for him to text you.

Suddenly, the seat next to you gets occupied, when a girl your age sits down and shoots a soft smile your way. “Hey, I’m Areum. Is this seat taken?” The name rings a bell but then again, there are a lot of people on this campus and many different personalities you’ve gotten into conversations with these past three years. “Please sit down. I’m Y/N,” you say, giving her a smile back. She looks at you as if she’s heard your name before as well but you try to not read too much into it. 

“I’m excited what this course is gonna be like,” the girl says, starting some small talk. It’s unusual for people in your classes to chat with one another but since you’ve heard this one is gonna be a course where you have to partner up—you hate those—it’s probably smart to talk to whoever is sitting next to you.

“Oh, same! Although I’ve heard that the professor is pretty strict,” you say. Areum giggles and you watch her brown hair wave around. She gives you a soft glance, as you take in the scent of her perfume that lingers in the air. You usually don’t feel insecure about your appearances but sitting next to a woman dressed like this—a business outfit and stilettos, a flawless crimson red lipstick and hair hair half up with a butterfly clip that has pearls attached to it—makes you wonder if you look a little silly in your yellow dress and the lemon earrings you are wearing. When you see the men entering the room looking her way, it only gets worse. God, why are you like this? She seems nice and you are in no position to judge her. But sometimes, when we meet new people, something just feels off about them and we aren’t able to explain what the unjustified issue we have. Okay, calm down. It’s literally nothing.

“He is a bit strict, yes,” Areum starts, “but if you do your coursework on time and participate in every class, it’s gonna be fine. I have attended some of his courses before. No need to worry.”

You nod, “That’s good! Are you in your last year too?”

“I am. I’m not sure if we’ve met each other before but I could swear I’ve seen you around,” she says. It seems as if she had the same thought as you. “I had a similar feeling. But I can’t explain where or when.”

Areum reaches into her purse, grabbing some mint gums and offering one to you which you accept. The door of the classroom swings open and you wait for the professor to get inside but instead someone else is revealed. No, how high are the odds? Your rommate’s gym crush takes the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the floor before he turns around. He sends a smile—that looks more like a smirk—to the girl next to you, as he greets her. “Areum, hey, how’s it going?”

Oh, so they know each other?

“Fine, Binnie. How’ve you been?” she replies. It’s him. Felix’s crush Changbin. “Great, great. Minho isn’t with you?”

Areum rolls her eyes. 

Wait, what?

Is he talking about your Minho? Well, not your your Minho but the Minho that you know. The one that you visited yesterday and made sign a makeshift contract on your iPad that the two of you are gonna have sex with each other in the name of science? Is Areum perhaps Minho’s ex girlfriend that he has never really talked that much about despite the fact that they had been together for quite some time?

“I told you we broke up…”

Oh, fuck. It’s her. It must be.

“You know Minho? Lee Minho?” you ask her now, moving your body around to see her full face. As if this would answer the question because, once again, Minho had never introduced his back then partner to anyone in the group. Which is a big red flag. Perhaps, Jisung has met her but you aren’t sure about that. Was it that smart to start some tutoring lessons with Minho of all people?

“Yeah, he’s my ex. You know him too?” Areum tilts her head and looks at you like a fawn. It makes sense, she kind of has similarities with the animal. You chuckle, while your lemon earrings start dangling around.

“N-Not that well.” I just came all over his thigh last night and my lips got all puffy from making out with him. We also signed a contract that he is gonna take my virginity in order to teach me how to pleasure his good friend Hyunjin. “My friends are friends with him but that’s it.” You’re such a bad liar. Well, Minho can’t be considered your friend after all. However, you are still closer than normal acquaintances or even enemies would ever be.

“Waaait. Now it all makes sense,” Areum lets out and you can basically observe a lightbulb appear above her head. “You are Y/L/N Y/N, aren’t you?”

“Yup, that’s me!” you reply, awkwardly waving your hand as if you are introducing yourself another time. Changbin turns around in the meantime when another guy he seems to know plops down on the chair next to him. Your attention is fully on Areum, who is reaching for your hands to place them into her own as if you are best friends. She’s smiling brightly, perfectly white teeth almost blinding you, as she shakes your hands.

“I’ve heard lots of things about you,” she says, absolutely amazed and you don’t know what to think about it.

“I hope only good things though,” you half-jokingly answer.

“Of course, dear,” she reassures you. “It’s a shame that Minho has never introduced us. Well, to be fair, his lack of participation when it comes to getting introduced to friends and family was the main reason why the relationship ended but I don’t want to bore you with stuff like this.”

Yeah. Back to the walking red flag called Minho’s approach on his last relationship. You remember when he casually mentioned a girlfriend in a conversation with your friend group and all of you started wondering why he hadn't told you earlier. Sure, there are people in this world that keep all things private but there’s still a slight chance for another reason being there. You probably won’t ever find out and it doesn’t really matter to you anyway, right?

“I’m sorry about that Areum,” you say then but she tells you that everything is alright and it’s not your fault. Oh, if you only knew, Y/N. There is in fact a reason why Minho was so hesitant to introduce his now ex to the friend group but if that ever reaches you he might as well leave the country and adapt a new identity.

You get startled when your phone that’s placed with the screen up on the table receives a message, the device vibrating on the wooden surface. Your eyes snap towards the source of the noise, reading a notification of none other than the ex boyfriend of the girl who is currently sitting next to you. Fuck. You reach for it, clumsily trying to lock it again but successfully failing your attempt. Watching your phone drop down, you listen to the sound of it hitting the floor.

“Oh, Y/N, be careful,” Areum says, reaching for your device and picking it up. You pray that she doesn’t read the notification and when she gives you back your phone, you see that she respectfully didn’t catch a glimpse of your screen. “Thank you,” you say, taking it back, before your eyes hover over the message.

[ Minho ]: I’m gonna pick you up at 4PM from your house. Wear something comfortable that will keep you warm.

At 4PM sharp your phone vibrates again, another message being sent by Minho in which he tells you he is here. The two of you agreed that it isn’t the smartest idea if he rings your doorbell—after all, Felix shares this apartment with you and gets suspicious about even the smallest details. You feel bad about the fact you have to kind of lie to your best friend that you are gonna meet with a friend from uni for studying, especially when he offered to go there with you. So, here you find yourself now, dressed in another bright dress—a green one this time—and apple earrings swaying back and forth that match the exact same shade. You’ve got your hair in the most comfortable style that fits you. Throwing your jacket over your shoulders after you put on your shoes, you grab your bag and leave the building.

Minho looks the same as always, a smirk on his face when he sees you stepping down the stairs, combined with the emotionless glance his eyes always shoot anyone’s way. If there was a Wikipedia entry of what a resting bitch face is, you are sure someone must have put a picture of your frenemy beside it. Wait. Frenemy? Sorry, enemy of course. A little kissing and dry humping obviously doesn’t turn you into friends or something on the verge of that. Minho nods as a way to greet you, before he tells you to follow him to the subway station close to your house. The whole way inside the public transport he doesn’t tell you where the hell you are heading to and it plays stupid games with your level of anxiety. However, you manage to get there and after an additional five minute walk you are standing in front of a building that lets your eyes widening.

“How did you know that I like ice skating?” you ask, your mouth falling agape. The request of what to wear today makes absolute sense now. How haven’t you realised? Well, in your defense you weren’t even aware that Minho knew that you love said activity.

“You’ve mentioned it once,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as if it’s nothing. Once. You mentioned it once. And he remembered it? God, you’ve gotta slow down now before your heart does jumping jacks. One could say that Minho just uses this agreement as an excuse to subtly date you but he would never admit that. He’s already too deep inside a mess he’s willingly created. Shit, you’re here with him because you want to prepare yourself for what’s yet to come with his friend Hyunjin and Minho finds himself thinking about an ideal world where you are his girlfriend. How stupid is he?

When he’s on the ice rink with you, said thoughts don’t quite get eliminated. In fact, they only grew in quantity and size. It’s a shame this is all just for or pretence. One could think it’s weird he is even taking you here, after all he promised to teach you all the physical things you lack skills in but he is also aware that—especially regarding the dynamic between you two—he needs to build some trust first. Hopefully, it’ll help and not just make him fall even more for you. Speaking of falling—one second he doesn’t pay attention and trips over his own feet, crashing right into you. Minho swings you to the ground, almost landing on top of you. “Shit! Are you okay?”

You giggle, “I am, no worries. Are you okay though, Min?”

Min. You’ve never called him that before but he likes it, he has to admit. You use this name in all those dreams and fantasies he’s had about you, as well. Fuck. He’s gonna fall down and kiss the ice surface with his face any minute again if you keep messing with his head like this.

“Minho? You okay?” Right. You were talking to him. He clears his throat, pretending to be completely normal when he is anything but that. He’s always felt normal in his life—except for on occasions when his heart was touched. By you, to be specific. Not by any of his friends and, as sad as it sounds, not even by Areum during their relationship. Minho feels ashamed and disgusted about himself sometimes.

“I’m alright,” he manages to let out. “Another round?” You nod and help him get up again. In the process, you both almost trip and drop another time but luckily this time his strong arms hold you. God, has Minho always been this… muscular? You’re gonna go insane any time soon. You’re not entirely sure if this is such a good idea but there’s no backing off anymore. Once you start something you are gonna finish it too. That’s a trait of yourself that’s both a curse and a blessing. When the two of you are standing upright again, you cruise another few rounds on the ice rink, holding Minho’s hand whenever he starts tumbling around. You’ve wondered why he’s even invited you here but you are, firstly, a bit nervous to ask and, secondly, already sure that he probably does this to establish some bond of trust between you two for everything physical that’s about to follow. For a second you think it might be more than just this—until you get reminded again that Minho doesn’t really like you in the first place so you push those delusional thoughts aside.

However, you keep wondering why on earth he’s even agreed to this. After your first class this morning and meeting Areum, you keep thinking it must have something to do with her. Maybe he’s still not over her and uses you as a rebound. If that’s the case, you wanna be mad at him until you remember that you are technically only using him to get closer to Hyunjin too.

Oh, Y/N, this is gonna be some rough ride of a roller coaster.

You’ve been back at Minho’s apartment for a couple of minutes, he offered you something to drink but you only opted for water. It’s not like he wanted to give you alcohol anyway since the two of you know that studying works best when sober, right?

“Make yourself comfortable,” he tells you, pointing at the sofa where you sat on just yesterday. God, the images of last evening haven’t left your mind. You sink down on the soft cushion. You clear your throat while you wait for Minho to join you and half a minute later he’s there. He leaves some respectful space between the two of you, mostly to be blamed on the fact of how nervous he currently is. What the hell is this? He’s supposed to be the confident one here but somehow ends up having his heart bursting out of his chest.

“Do you have…anything on your mind? Anything you wanna try out?” Minho cringes at his own words but desperately tries to hide it. Judging from your face, he is successful with it. On top of that, you are rather occupied with your own thoughts right now. You’ve thought about a lot of things that you would like to learn from Minho. Many, many things appear inside your head when reminiscing the sensual scenes of last night.

“I.. I really liked what we did yesterday,” you confess, only now realising this is the first time you are talking about what happened twenty four hours ago. Which is quite ironic since the picture of you on top of him, straddling his lap and grinding over his muscular thigh has basically been the main focus of your thoughts since then.

“Well, thanks for the compliment,” Minho says, clicking his tongue. Shit. You forgot that you should definitely not feed him with any more praise since this man’s ego is already big enough for whatever reason. Well, you know the reason. Minho is handsome, you can’t deny that, he’s a pretty good kisser—not as if you are the best judge in this case with not knowing many people to compare him to—and hopefully has great skills beyond that, which he must have because otherwise he wouldn’t have agreed to your little odd arrangement. “But what would you like to try out? We said that we would do things at your pace, so tell me what you wanna do at that pace.”

The thing is—you don’t know what you want to do. You are inexperienced, after all. It’s not like your fantasies aren’t creative but you still have no idea what your sexual preferences and perhaps even possible kinks are. Whenever you’ve tried to let your mind run free, during some lonely nights, two fingers passing your pyjama pants and playing a little with your pussy, it didn’t always get you somewhere. Sure, you’ve managed to make yourself come from time to time but it didn’t feel… great. Perhaps, you’ve been doing something wrong, who knows.

“Y/N? I need you to be honest with me,” Minho continues and for a second you wonder if he is a mind reader, “you won’t be able to have a good time with Hyunjin if you don’t even know what you yourself are into. This is the key for a good sex life, trust me. Apart from communicating with the other person which we are currently doing.”

You gulp and a nod follows. You know that he’s right. Still, you feel kinda awkward about this whole situation but you try to remind yourself that it’s alright. This is all new for you so it’s probably normal to feel a bit weird to talk about such intimate topics.

“I’m… not sure, honestly,” you admit. Minho takes a deep breath, contemplating if he should just talk further with you about this or just make a move. But then again, he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. “Please don’t get mad at me for asking but when was the last time you touched yourself?”

“Uhm, I think two or three weeks ago. It didn’t get me anywhere, though, so I haven’t tried again since then.”

“Okay. Have you come before while masturbating?” You let out an awkward giggle, your arms reaching around your upper body as if you are hugging yourself. “I have… but it wasn’t the best.”

“I see, I see,” Minho says, “how about… and you can always decline—please know this, but I believe that you learn the best while doing and presenting, you know? How about you show me… how you usually do this, hm?”

Oh, God. Your heart is pumping out of you, on the verge of exploding.

“S-Show you?”

Minho shifts a little in his seat. He obviously doesn’t want to scare you off with his suggestions that he is wording but he also doesn’t want to make some mistake in just rushing things with you. He’s never been overthinking this much with a woman. He’s never worried about making mistakes but here he is. “Only if you are comfortable of course. You will guide me and tell me how to touch you. We can kiss a little and just see where things lead to, hm? You liked kissing me, didn’t you?”

“Y-Yeah… liked kissing you, hm,” you admit. That’s the little push he needs to get closer to you. It all feels as if it’s happening in slow motion, when he guardedly eliminates the space between the two of you and gets closer. You catch a glimpse of his beautiful brown eyes, your glances wandering down to his pretty lips. You think back to how they felt pressed against your own, fitting so perfectly. Okay, calm down. It’s just kissing. And today also a little more but you can do this, Y/N. It’s gonna be alright. No big deal.

Minho’s lips catch your own in a passionate kiss and you could swear this one is even better than the ones yesterday. If that’s even possible. Warmth spreads through your body, when he grabs your jaw and pulls you closer. He’s taking the full initiative this time and it makes you feel confident, comfortable, safe. When he pulls away from you for a second, it needs all the strength you’ve got to not slip out a desperate little noise. But Minho quickly continues, his hands now wandering down your sides, roaming over your curves and taking in every part of your body. He’s absolutely in love with the way you dress—the green dress really compliments you and in combination with the apple jewellery dangling from your ears you complete this look adorably. However, he’s a little scared to do some damage to the earrings which is why he tells you to maybe put them away and you follow suit.

Once you’ve done that, he gets closer again, placing a hasty kiss on the side of your mouth before the little patterns start blossoming on your jawline, your neck and wander down. But he holds himself back. You’ve agreed to do this step by step, slowly at your pace. His fingers travel south, passing your waist, your hips and your ass, until they slip under your dress. Minho keeps his eyes on yours at all times and when you whisper a small ‘yes, please’, he knows he’s doing everything correctly. He has to hold back a mischievous chuckle but you seem to be so deep in your thoughts that you wouldn’t notice anyway.

Your dress gets pushed a little upwards, revealing your tights to Minho. “Pull them off,” you let out, not quite getting where the sudden confidence is coming from. But Minho does as he’s told, taking off the fabric and revealing your underwear to him. You observe his tongue grazing over his lips, wetting them and for a second he imagines how it would be like to go down on you until he decides against it. Step by step, right? However, his hand is already back right between your legs that you obediently part for him. His fingertips are grazing over your soaked panties, forcing a whimper out of your mouth. You sound so adorable, it’s unbelievable.

“Can I take these off?” Minho asks, his gaze colliding with your own. You hastily nod, spreading your thighs even further. “Yes. Take them off.” Minho follows suit, sliding down the last remaining material that hides your pussy from the man hovering above you. Your cunt now exposed to him, you start getting a little shy, although you are completely forgetting that this is in fact Minho who is doing this with you. The guy in your friend group who you don’t get along with and suddenly he’s so gentle with you. But you’ve got no time to worry about any of this, when he says, “Y/N. It’s okay. It’s just me, yeah? You wanna keep going?”

How does he manage to make you feel like this? It should be illegal. Still, you nod and dare to part your legs a little further again. The view makes his mouth water but he holds back a little, only spreading your pussy lips apart with his fingers and finding exactly what he’s been looking for—you’re absolutely wet for him. He’s gonna lose his mind tonight, that one is for sure. “Show me what you like, Y/N,” he lets out, barely a whisper.

You’re unsure if he wants you to guide him or do it yourself but when you reach for his hand, he takes control instead and lets your own fingertips graze over your wetness. “Come on, touch yourself, princess.” You do as you’re told, heavy breaths escaping you and Minho, when you start pleasuring yourself. Two of your fingers find your clit, drawing circles around it while you keep your eyes fixated on his. You’re sure you’re gonna faint at any second, especially when he whispers again, “Yeah, just like that. You look adorable like this, you know that?”

For some reason, the fact that Minho is more experienced than you and the one who’s guiding you, just turns you on more—if that’s even possible at this point. You continue with your little movements, moans slipping out of you but it doesn’t feel good enough. Just like those times when you tried it on your own, home alone. It’s nice, for sure, but not nice enough. Your eyebrows are scrunched together, chest rising up from the fast breaths you let out and your heart racing at the speed of light. But no matter what you do—if you adjust the pace, change the movements a little or part your legs further—it’s just not enough. So, gathering up together all your confidence and ask Minho for help is inevitable at this point.

“Minho… please. I… I can’t…” you let out. By now, Minho is rock hard inside his pants, his poor cock being neglected in there but you don’t seem to noticed, way too focused on your own little issue. “You can’t what?” That stupid smirk on his face just arouses you more.

“Need your h-help,” you confess and all that menace does is chuckle. Rough kisses erupt on your neck, leading you on even more and it is so much fun to him, it’s unbelievable. “You need me, huh?” You can’t with him. Not in the state you are in right now, your legs spread and your fingers playing with yourself, entirely exposed to the man above you. “Stop teasing me.”

Minho scoffs, his lips getting close to your ear, “Says the tease herself, hm?” But then he lets go again, just to add, “Okay, darling. Lay on your back for me, yeah?”

You nod, following suit. Your entire body hits the sofa, the soft cushion shifting under your weight. Minho is hovering over you, his hand replacing your movements, now right at your wetness where you own had been just seconds prior. “Can I touch you?” It’s barely a whisper but you still tell him to keep going.

And it feels a thousand times better, as if you leveled up and are close to tasting heaven, when his fingers start grazing over your sensitive nub. He riles you up even more, before two of his digits come dangerously close to your soaking entrance. When Minho receives a little encouragement from you, he pushes one of them aside. You instantly start clenching around it but he takes his time to let you get used to the new feeling. His fingers are a lot bigger than your own, so one of them surely feels like two of yours. He’s stretching you out so nicely, always making sure to continue the sensual motions on your clit with his thumb. Minho is thrusting in and out of you until you’re ready to take another one of his fingers. A moan leaves your mouth, but you allow him to take the upper hand in this.

Minho is driving you closer to the edge without doing much, but the way he uses his fingers to pleasure you is beyond this world. This doesn’t even come remotely close to every time you’ve tried it yourself.

“Feels good, Min” you praise him, the name threatening to make him come untouched inside his pants. God. He’s never witnessed himself being so pathetic but he doesn’t mind at all if he thinks about it. Well, if he was able to think straight right now. It’s not easy to focus on anything else, if you are whimpering for him, while your liquids are coating his fingers and your walls are tightening around him.

“And you’re such a good girl, hm? Finally figured out how to turn you into a good girl for me, princess.”

Without a warning, you reach your high, when you clench around his digits and sparkles start blinding your vision. Utmost pleasure rushes through your veins, when your legs are shaking again like they did yesterday and the sensation takes over you. Your soul leaves your body for a second that you are sure of, but Minho keeps guiding you through your high, praising you some more, before his pace drops. When you’re breathing normally again, he pulls his fingers out of you again. You watch him guide them to his mouth before they slip inside and he licks them clean. An almost animalistic sound leaves him and you gulp, not yet realising what kind of mess you’ve entered here.

How is one supposed to go on with their life normally when Lee Minho just gave them the best orgasm of their life only with his fingers?

You’re somewhat back to reality half an hour later. Minho has made some food for the both of you, once again playing all gentleman and swiping your feet off the ground with his cooking skills. Okay, it’s enough. Calm down, Y/N. It’s just food. But also a good way to conquer your heart–

“Would you like some more?” he asks, ripping you out of the spiral of thoughts that’s running through your brain. You shake your head no but give him a smile that is rather just the motion of your lips pressing against each other. Minho gets up then and carries away the dishes, telling you to sit down again when you offer any help. Why is he like this? So… kind? You’re seriously getting second guesses if this was such a good idea. The dynamic has grown weird to say the least. But then again, today has also shown that you can in fact feel comfortable and safe around him, despite the two of you not being that close. At least up until now. Sometimes you wished you could worry less but that’s how life is. Unfortunately.

“Thank you for today, Minho,” you decide to say then, a little nervous and still so very much confused about all this. Maybe you should just get some sleep and think about it tomorrow when you have a much clearer mind again. Hopefully.

“Oh, don’t forget your earrings,” Minho lets out, reaching for the jewellery that he had placed on the couch table earlier in order to not accidentally damage them or anything. Your fingertips graze over his, when he hands you the two green apples but you ignore the rushing sensation sprinting straight through your chest. When you are about to put them back in, he suddenly decides to help you, turning this whole situation even more domestic than it should be. But you let him. Half a minute later, he helps you back into your coat and reaches for his own jacket.

“Are you going outside, too?”

He nods, “Yeah, I’ll bring you home. It’s already dark outside.” Oh. You seriously haven’t expected this. But you are smart enough to not argue with Minho and despite that, you are also very much a woman and walking home alone at such a late hour isn’t the smartest idea in order to feel safe. And Minho grants you exactly this—safety. As ridiculous as it sounds. He puts on his shoes and you do the same, before you throw your bag over your shoulder.

All of a sudden, there’s a knock on his front door. From the other side, the hallway. Minho’s eyes are widening and he places his index finger on his lips, telling you to keep quiet. He carefully opens the door and you hide behind it. Why on earth does his apartment not have a spy hole? He doesn’t let the person in but judging by the shrill and annoying voice you can clearly tell who is visiting Minho tonight.

“Jisung, why are you here?”

Oh, fuck no. Under no circumstances your friend can find out that you are at his best friend’s—aka your enemy’s—apartment. How would you even explain this situation to him? Oh, Ji, by the way, we haven’t told you but I’ve been meeting Minho these past couple of days because he is teaching me how to make a man come so I can satisfy Hyunjin better once he’s back. Yes, I know you found this idea about asking someone to tutor me hilarious, funny that I’m actually doing it, right? Yeah. Sounds ridiculous just like this whole situation.

“Bro, that’s not how you greet your best friend when he’s here for you with beer and takeaway,” the younger one says and without being able to see Minho right now you know that he’s once again rolling his eyes. You can also hear him scoff which adds to it.

“What did you do?”

Of course Minho immediately suspects that his best friend must have gotten in trouble and you wouldn’t be surprised either if you are honest. “What do you mean? Why do you instantly think that I—alright, okay. I need to crash on your couch. There was a leaking pipe in my student dorm and they are currently taking care of it. Like an emergency. But I brought drinks and snacks as well as my Mario Kart game that you always love to play,” Jisung rambles.

“Fine,” Minho says. He obviously can’t decline his best friend entrance, especially if said best friend is in need and doesn’t have a place to sleep tonight. “Uhm, just a second.”

“Are you hiding something, bro? Or someone? Are you back together with Areum—please don’t say yes especially not if we both know that you are actually–“

“Will you just cut it? If you wanna know—you kinda… uhm, interrupted me in the middle of something and I have to clean some stuff, you know,” Minho explains. Well, a good half-lie. He makes it sound as if he was jerking off, which he technically was but how he’s wording it Jisung believes that Minho spent some good time on his own. A great idea to hide the evidence—you.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, no issue for me. But I know you are always weird and secretive about this. You know what? I’ll hand you these,” Jisung offers, giving Minho the drinks and food he brought with him, “I’m gonna head downstairs again and buy some other snacks and a pack of cigarettes.”

“No smoking inside. You’ll have to use my balcony,” he reminds his best friend. “Of course, boss. No worries about that. I’ll be right back.”

A second later, Jisung runs down the stairs again and Minho closes the front door. “That was risky,” he lets out and a breath he’s been holding escapes out of his mouth with it. “I’m so sorry about this, about him.”

It's not like it’s Minho’s fault. Maybe it was a little careless to believe that Jisung wouldn’t just appear here. After all, he often spontaneously knocks on your apartment’s door too. “It’s alright. I’ll see you tomorrow on campus?” you ask and Minho nods. “Sure. Good night, Y/N.”

[ Minho ]: Please text me when you’re home so I know that you’re safe.

The message pops up on your phone when you’re on the subway. You are glad that there’s a group of women on your train with you, making you feel a little safer. Sure, not as safe as Minho could but still. You still can’t believe what happened and thinking back to the scene on his couch makes you giggle like a teenage girl, someone could almost think you’ve got a crush on him or something. Which you obviously don’t. Minho is still Minho and you are still you. Besides that, there are only four days left until Hyunjin is back and he will hopefully ask you out.

A few minutes later, the public transport reaches your station and you get out. When you reach your apartment building, you run up the stairs, ready to get home and take off your makeup and change into comfort clothes. You type in the code for your front door and it opens, before you enter your flat. You call out Felix since you hear some of his giggles echoing from the living room. It sounds as if he’s talking to someone. Strange. He didn’t announce any company tonight but maybe a friend is visiting. You take off your shoes and jacket, get into your slippers and walk toward the source of the noise. Just when you are about to enter the room, Felix stands up and runs to you in order to hug you.

“Y/N, you’re back! Guess who’s here and came back early from Paris?”

Oh, wow. This can’t be. You take a few steps forward and a tall certain someone reveals himself. You let out a chuckle, not quite grasping that Hyunjin is actually here, before he pulls you into a long and tight hug, too. “I missed you, angel.” God, that name. He’s called you by that name a couple of times but tonight it sounds extraordinarily pretty spilling from his beautiful lips. “I missed you too, Jinnie.” It almost looks as if there are tears in his eyes but he’s probably just happy and released to be back in his hometown. He’s been far away for far too long after all.

“How’ve you been? You’ve got some studying done?” Right. That’s what you told Felix what you’d be doing tonight. You gulp, feeling a bit bad for lying to both your best friend and Hyunjin. “Y-Yeah. Quite boring but you know how it is. I’m so glad you’re back, though!” You notice Felix walking away, disappearing somewhere in the kitchen to give his two best friends some space.

“Y/N, listen. I’ve meant it by the way. My text and all. Once you’re ready and have time I’d love to take you out on a date,” he tells you, confirming that he actually might be serious this time. A bright smile is shining all over your face, when you excitedly nod. “Yes, of course.”

Hyunjin explains then that he wanted to surprise you and this is why he showed up at your apartment but only Felix was here. He’s still got all of his luggage with him and since you already seem to be tired and have classes in the morning, your roommate offers to drive Hyunjin to his old apartment. You tell them good night, pulling your crush into another hug and he places a soft kiss on your cheek. You’re gonna turn into a puddle anytime soon. Watching them leave the house, you head toward the bathroom and get ready for bed, before you fall down on the mattress and doze off into sleep within minutes. 

And of course with only Hyunjin on your mind, totally forgetting that you were supposed to text Minho that you made it back home safely…

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