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we fuckin hate Uther in this house but those times he'd look at Merlin and be like "wtf is wrong with Arthur rn??" were so funny

like Uther was very firmly on the you're too close to this boy train but the moment Arthur was doing something weird he'd look at Merlin like "boy fix this rn"

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Me (have to ask boss): can i do these shifts on these days

Boss: how about this, same days,, different shifts

Me: (not what i asked for): how about I work the shift I want, and then do that shift after

Boss: sure!

Me (realizing i signed myself up for twice as much work in a more frustrating way): okay

Me (to myself): fuck

#why am i like this #what an idiot #honestly #need to think before i speak #so tired

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HP

James potter was trained by moody I think so I can see this

James potter under the invisibility cloak moving moody’s silverware around and cackling as the man gets more and more agitated cause he can’t see who’s doing it

#incorrect harry potter quotes #hp #harry potter #james potter #Moody: ​CONSTANT VIGILANCE!! #James Potter: *carefully moving his office furniture an inch to the right*

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When you leave the group chat for 10 minutes but everyone still texting so you can’t go back and read what you missed cuz you gotta read what’s coming in so you just there having no clue what’s going on...

like when you go to the bathroom at the movies and when you come back someone’s died, the protag has faked their death and there’s like three new people who are somehow massively relevant

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Also if you could please stop tearing up all the sheets to climb down you came in through the front door you know that I have one just use it the people in bed bath & beyond have passed giving me weird looks and now treat me with active hostility for the number of bed sheets I’m buying like i shall not turn you away but stop ripping up the sheets

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

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Personal opinion — even better with frenemies

they just keep finding each other in their next lives like ‘oh f*ck it’s you again fine i guess we’ll just have to live together and bicker for the rest of our lives’

and no matter what happens they always find each other

so like, sh*t would get wild — you better believe they’ve each killed each other at least once just so they didn’t have to deal with the person or like done something horribly embarrassing dressed as the other person and then worked it into conversation every time they got irritated

21st century things are heating up — there are phones and things now, they can immortalize the sh*tty or stupid behaviours/acts anything their partner does, save it to the cloud, and bring it all back up in the next life

Such a 7 Deadly Habits vibe.

The best writing trope.

#do you remember that jeremy #no #look at that f*cking renaissance painting #that’s you #being an absolute imbecile

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#istg #the hp end credits scene #where Harry became an auror #like my bby i love you but you are anti-establishment #boy hates the government (w good reason) #he directly defied them by creating the da and spent a year on the run from a government that was controlled by death eaters #absolutely no way he’d enforce their laws — have you seen how often he breaks them!!

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controversial opinion,, the only utensil you really need to eat one of those mini tarts is a knife

just cut small slices like it’s a pie and then hoover them into your mouth with the flat side of the blade

#no I definitely have never done this #maybe once or twice #why give yourself another utensil to wash #can you truly enjoy without a little risk #curled around a plate protectively while just inhaling tarts

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People should have health care paid with their own tax dollars.

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But also characters who flounce around with grace committing crimes and intentionally sabotaging the above character first for their own entertainment and then because they start to feel fond of this self-sacrificing idiot and stop sabotaging them quite so much because is it even entertaining to poke at someone until they break if they’re already doing it to themselves so they drag the idiot home and feed them and maybe also shove them over the edge of their fragile sense of morality

characters who view themselves as tools/weapons first and people second... characters who martyr themselves for a cause because they think that's the only way they can be worth something... characters who push themselves past their breaking point again and again and again... characters for whom devotion and masochism are inseparable... characters whose self-sacrifice becomes self-annihilation...... what was my point again? i had a point. anyway.

#amazing how this feels totally accurate for cats and dogs #but also #hannibal and will #like have you seen them #like I don’t know anyone who’s more of a dog person than will #but hannibal totally has that cat energy of you could give me attention or you could jump off a cliff and I’d be entertained either way #they’re in love your honor #hannigram #hannibal

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Minimum wage in Canada is $15.65 right now (and still regularly going up) so if I worked in a Canada even at something like a fast food place for 40 hours a week that would be 40 x 15.65 x 52 = $32,552 only a thousand dollars less a year to serve fast food than for someone who got a degree to teach. Tell me that’s not seriously messed up

#personal rant

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Hate it when i get that “you have already left kudos here” notification on ao3, like bitch i know and i’d like to leave some more

If the fic was so good i lwas willing to go back and read it again and was still happy with it then it absolutely deserves a second kudos

#ao3

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How else would I reach my special herbs?

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Some fics will have the most beautifully well written summaries and then the fic itself is a 3500 word one shot

Meanwhile another fic will have like “wrote this drunk at 3am after another grippy sock vacay lmao” as their summary and it’s a 50k word whole ass novel with two redemption arcs and a random out-of-left-field AU tag