Is that Snape using a phone?? Probably texting he’ll be late to work.

Remus: *shows a picture of him as a baby*

Sirius: YOU’RE SO CUTE

Sirius, squishing Remus’ cheeks: AND SO SMOL

Sirius, now smirking: Though you’re still at the same height

- Sirius Black

(MY FRIEND IS DATING A BOY NAMED REMY. SO EVERYTHINH SHE SAYS IS WOLFSTAR.)

Draco: Making my way downtown.

Draco: Walking fast.

Draco: …

Draco: …

Draco: Walking a bit slower so my steps match with Harry’s because he’s short.

Harry: You have very pretty eyes.

Draco: Thanks.

Harry: You know I’m flirting with you right?

Draco: That was flirting? I thought you were stating facts.

Draco: How many times do I have to apologize for that?

Harry: Once would be nice!

Draco:

Harry:

Draco: No.

Harry, jumping out if a closet: BOO!

Draco:

Harry:

Draco:

Harry: :(

Draco: Ah! You scared me!

Harry, answering his shoe like a phone: Oh, sorry I can’t here you. Let me put you on sneaker.

Ron: *laughing his ass off*

Hermione: I am begging you to stop.

Albus Severus: Siri,

Albus Severus: why does God allow suffering.

seamus: i think it’s attractive when dean

lavender:

seamus:

lavender: when dean…?

seamus: yeah

ginny: *runs in, out of breath and panicked*

neville: what happended?!

ginny: no one died!

neville:

neville: WHAT KIND OF AWNSER IS THAT-

Albus Severus: If anybody asks for me

Albus Severus: I’ve gone outside to scream into the night.

mcgonagall: why is james in the bathroom on the floor crying?

sirius: he’s drunk

mcgonagall: and?

remus: and he heard that lily’s married

mcgonagall:…

mcgonagall: we’re literally at their wedding

remus: yeah, we know that

Ron: fuck Malfoy

Harry: already done

Ron: …

Harry: …

Ron: Is stabbing someone immortal?

Ginny: Not if they consent to it

Fred: Depends on who you’re stabbing

Percy: Yes?!?

Sirius: Why would you buy an umbrella? You can get them for free in the coffee shop, in the metal cans.

Remus: Those belong to people!

peter: the floor’s lava

*sirius helping remus on to the couch*

*lily pushing james off the table*

peter: as you can see here, we have two different types of lovers

tiktok: alexandralestrange__

14yr old Severus: *aggressively throws down his cup of apple juice*

Filch: What was that for, Lad?

Severus: *whispers angrily* I put the rage in beverage

charlie: lily, have you found out how to travel to a paranormal universe?

lily: would i be here if i could?!

tom : maybe it’s time I stop being so angry.

[y/n] : yeah, but what will you do with all your free time?