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#incorrect harry potter quotes
chaoticregulusstan · a day ago
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Andromeda: I know your mother didn't want to adopt the cat in diagon alley so Narcissa and I went there and adopt her for you.
Narcissa: She's all yours now.
Regulus, crying out of happiness: What is this strange liquid coming out of my eyes?
Sirius: Does having a cat make you start leaking?
Regulus: *takes one finger and licks the tears* It's salty.
Regulus: I'm salty.
Everyone: We know.
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mischief-marauders · a month ago
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(Golden trio entering Heaven)
Harry (squinting): Why are the lights so bright here? And why is there a stage- Dad?
James (walking on stage wearing Hogwarts robes and a scar on his face with a grin): Silence because the show is starting
Ron (confused): What show-
Sirius (walking on stage with a bright orange wig on and screaming): Once I make my move, the queen will take me. Then you’re free to check the king!
James (crying): No. Ron, no!
Remus (walking on stage wearing a long brown wig on and skirt): What is it?
James (sobbing): He’s going to sacrifice himself!
Remus (screaming): No, you can’t! There must be another way!
Hermione (scowling): Oh for fucks sake-
Sirius (gravely): Do you want to stop Snivellus from getting that stone or not? Harry, it’s you that has to go on. I know it. Not me. Not Hermione. You!
James (taking a bow): And scene!
Harry (red faced): We did NOT sound like that!
Hermione (groaning): We were 11 for fucks sake!
Ron (horrified): My hair isn’t actually that bright is it?
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hufflepufffle · 7 months ago
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need i remind you that ronald weasley, aged eleven, didn’t know that he had just sat in ~the harry potter~’s compartment and offered half of his sandwich to this random boy on the train who he’d only just met, because he was all alone and seemed to have no food,
i’m sick of the ron slander
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Draco, on the phone with Harry: Babe, come see me.
Harry: I'm sorry, I can't. I'm playing monopoly.
Draco: But my parents aren't home!
Harry: I know. They are playing monopoly with me.
Draco: What?
Lucius, on the phone: Draco, your boyfriend is so bad at this. He's gonna lose.
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chaoticregulusstan · a day ago
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James: Reg, would you be mad if we play a small prank on the Slytherins?
Regulus: Whatever James, I'm not your father.
James: Thanks Merlin for that, I don't have an Oedipus complex.
Sirius: Who's Oedipus?
Remus: ...Some old king.
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