Draco: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot
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Harry: I found a note in one of my old potions notes that said "Note to self: Get revenge on Malfoy"...Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for
Harry: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it
Draco: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either
Harry: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though
Draco: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it
Harry: Let that possibly be a lesson to you
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Draco: I’d kill someone if you asked me to
Harry: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to...
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Harry: Are you a cuddler?
Draco: I'm a machine of death and destruction
Harry:
Draco:
Draco: ...Yeah, fine, I'm a cuddler
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Pansy: Draco, I know you love Harry Potter. I mean, we all know you do, and he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely...But I think he might be a fucking idiot
Draco:
Draco: Funny how you think I don't know that
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Draco: So what’s for dinner?
Harry: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Draco:
Draco: Is it soup?
Harry, winking: I soup-pose it could be!
Draco: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Harry: Wow, you’re soup-per mean!
Draco: STOP!
*one hour later*
Draco: It’s fucking tacos?!
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Harry, on the phone: Hey Draco, do you know my blood type?
Draco: Of course, it's B-
Harry: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, healer-!
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Harry: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Draco: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Harry: I don't know, surprise me!
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Harry: My head hurts
Draco: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity
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Harry, to Voldemort: Underestimate me. That'll be fun
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Draco: Compliment me
Harry: You have nice eyes
Draco:
Draco: Yeah, that works for now, but we'll work on that
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Lucius: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE CHINA CABINET! GET UP THERE!
Draco, climbing: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!
Narcisa: Lucius...I don't think that-
Lucius: YOU TOO! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE CHINA CABINET WITH DRACO!
Narcisa, climbing: DRACO IS RIGHT, THIS HOUSE IS FUCKING NIGHTMARE!
Draco: Mother, you don't need to follow father's orders. You can just threaten him
Narcisa, shrugging: I know, but I did it so we both can plan a good revenge on him
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James, to Lily: I just heard Moony call Padfoot a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there
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Harry: *cooking*
Draco: *kicks down door*
Draco: *grabs knife from Harry's hand*
Draco: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Harry:
Harry: What.
Pansy: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook
Harry: But...Draco, you don't know how to cook!
Draco: It doesn't matter! You sit and Pansy will help me figure something out!
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Harry: I never tell people off the bat that I'm bi. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and I'm like "you know I'm bi right?" and watch the look of terror on their faces
Draco:
Draco: Please marry me
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Draco: You know what’s funny about Harry? He's my husband, and anyone who'd hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably
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*5th year*
Hermione: Good morning!
Harry: Bold statement
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