Lily: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

James: Rude.

Remus: That’s fair.

Sirius: Not again.

Regulus: Are you going to want this back?

Sirius: I would love to have a honeymoon in Venice. What do you think Moony?

Remus: Venice sounds lovely darling.

Sirius: Where would you go for your honeymoon Prongs?

James: I don't know, where would you like to go Reg?

Regulus: *Blushing intensely*

Remus : Let's have a drink to celebrate!

Harry : uh- Im actually still underage

Sirius : oh right

Sirius : Here, use this silly straw

what do y’all think would have been the marauders favourite subject if they went to like muggle school?

AU where Draco spends the summer's with Harry at the Black-Lupin household because things are tense at the Malfoy Manor. Its all going good until one day someone pays them a visit. Starring: sibling bantar between Harry and teddy, protective dad Sirius, and Remus (who is low-key turned on).

"Can we please keep him?" Draco bit back a smile as Teddy whined for the third time. They were in the kitchen, waiting for Remus to finish making breakfast. Sirius was doodling his latest design for his motorcycle, while Draco read a book and pretended not to evesdrop on the conversation taking place next to him.

"Sorry Teddy, but Draco is a person, we cannot just keep him," Remus explained patiently, already looking tired from having the same discussion, again.

"But I am not even allowed a pet dog because of dad!"

"Hey!" Sirius looked indignant but went back to his drawings when Remus gave him a quelling look.

"Can't we just give the Malfoys Harry in exchange? That way we can keep Draco!"

"That won't happen, they love me more," Harry entered the room, kissing Draco's cheek before leaning back against the counter, unwrapping a fresh cup of strawberry yogurt.

"No they don't!" Teddy agrued. "They love me more! Tell him Dad!"

Remus closed his eyes as if asking the Lord for strength.

"Please," Harry drawled, licking the yogurt exaggeratedly from his lips. "We picked you up from the dumpster. Plus, I came before you, so they love me more."

"That's not true. And that's mine!" He pointed at the yogurt. When Harry just shrugged and continued to eat it, Teddy launched himself at him, trying to snatch the yogurt from Harry, who grinned wickedly and raised it high above his head as Teddy bounced on his feet in a vain attempt to reach it.

"Dumpster baby! Dumpster baby!" Harry sang.

"You are the dumpster Baby! Give me my yogurt back-DAD!!" Teddy cried, turning to Remus for support, who pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He probably wanted to throttle them both, but his love for them stopped him from doing so.

Remus sighed, "Teddy, there is more yogurt in the fridge--"

"I want this one!"

"--AND you should share it with your brother." He finished strictly.

Teddy's cheeks flushed with anger and he glared at Harry, who stuck his tongue out in response.

"Told you: they love me more."

"Harry," Remus warned and Harry shut his mouth, smiling innocently.

Teddy huffed. Then punching Harry's waist with his small fists repeatedly, he screamed, "I hate you, I hate you! I want Draco!"

"Oh, do you, now?" Harry grinned and picked up the 6 year old, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes as Teddy thrashed and flailed, hitting Harry's back. Harry guffawed, dumping the boy on the couch in the living room before viciously attacking him with tickles.

Peels of shrill laughter filled the house as Teddy struggled and tried to get away, while Harry pulled up his shirt and blew loud, wet raspberries on his tummy, easily holding down Teddy until the boy relented, admitting defeat.

The door bell rang, interrupting their bliss.

"I'll get it!" Draco said, getting up from the table. As he left the kitchen, he heard Teddy's voice reasoning with the others "See! He helps out around the house too!"

This time Draco didn't stop his smile from spreading across his face. However, it instantly died down when he opened the door.

"Father?"

Lucius's eyes raked over his son, taking in his tattered muggle t-shirt and snitch pajamas--both of which he had borrowed from Harry the previous night. Draco supressed the urge to squirm under the scrutiny and stood taller, hoping that his face looked as impassive and nonchalant as possible.

"Draco." Lucius's voice was as condescending as ever. How his father managed to put so much icy disdain in just his name alone was beyond Draco.

''What do you want?"

"Pack you bags. I am taking you back to the Manor, your mother wants you."

Draco grip on the door knob tightened. "If she wants me then she can come get me herself."

"Do not argue with me."

"But I don't want to go!"

His father's nostrils flaired. His grabbed Draco's hand in a painful grip and pulled so forcefully that Draco almost stumbled. "I have put up with your nonsense long enough!"

"Hey! let him go!" Harry was at his side in an instant, pushing at Lucius to break his grip on Draco's wrist and placing himself protectively between them, shielding Draco away from his father.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, concerned eyes searching Draco's face. Cradling his soar wrist, Draco swallowed and nodded. Harry turned back to face Lucius, eyes hard, "He is not going anywhere with you."

Lucius sneered, "And you are going to stop me?"

"I sure will."

Lucius grabbed Harry's collar, he was atleast a foot taller than the teenager, and hissed dangerously, "Listen you filthy halfblood--"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you."

Lucius stopped at the voice and looked over. Sirius was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall and looking as casual and devastatingly handsome as ever as he twirled his wand between his fingers.

"I would strongly suggest you unhand my godson," he said calmly. A threatning edge to his voice.

Draco's father wasn't one to be messed with. Malfoys were notorious for being terrifying, Draco knew that, but they had nothing over Blacks. Lucius yielded, letting go of Harry.

"Now, how can I help you?" Sirius asked cheerfully as he came to stand in the entryway, not so subtly extending a protective arm across Harry and gently edging the two boys behind him.

Lucius smoothed his hands down the front of his robes, trying to gather his bearings.

"I am here to take Draco."

"Is that so? And who, might I ask, are you?"

"His father. Lord Malfoy."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Draco.

"Draco, darling, do you want to go with this man?"

Draco swallowed, looking down at his shoes. Harry must have sensed his fear and hesitation, because he took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, making him smile.

Gaining courage, Draco squared his shoulders and looked his father straight in the eyes. "No, sir." He answered through clenched teeth.

Sirius shrugged. "Well, lord Malfoy, you heard the boy. Looks like Draco is staying here after all."

"Draco!" Lucius hissed. "Stop this, this instant or I will--!"

He was cut off by Sirius, who placed a hand on the door frame, leaning against it and blocking the young boy from view.

Lucius glared coldly at Sirius, who simply flashed his teeth in response. It would have looked charming if not for the dangerous glint in Sirius's eyes that was downright wicked.

Lucius narrowed his eyes and inched forward till he was nose to nose with Sirius. "You don't want to make an enemy of me."

Sirius straitened, all his polite, cheerful facade forgotten as his expression hardened and a dark shadow took over his handsome face. Draco was glad to note that Sirius had a couple of inches over his father. Now try looking at him down your nose, he thought happily.

"Yeah?" Sirius said, sounding almost bored. "I don't know...being your enemy sounds very tempting." He looked over his shoulders. "Harry, pup, will you be a doll and take Draco inside while I deal with our unwelcome guest?"

Harry blinked, glancing between the two men as he hesitated for a moment. Then he nodded, "Sure," and tugged at his and Draco's still entwined hands.

They had barely entered the kitchen when they heard raised voices from outside. Then there was a dull thud of a body hitting the ground and everything went quiet, followed by the bang of a door being slammed shut. Moments later Sirius returned, rubbing his knuckles.

"What happened?" Remus asked, eyes roaming over Sirius's body, checking to see if he was hurt.

"Nothing. Would you floo the Aurors? I think there's a man sleeping on our doorstep," he inclined his head toward the entrance. "I'll just pop back up and take care of this," he held up his hand to show his bruised knuckles before disappearing up the staircase.

Remus's eyes followed his husband as he left, an intense look in his eyes. He gulped, then seeming to come to a decision he hastily took off his apron and gave it to Harry. "You two can call the Aurors and take care of breakfast, right?"

But he didn't wait for Harry to respond before rushing after Sirius, a hungry look in his eyes as he climbed two steps at a time.

Harry tsked and shook his head, while Draco was extremely confused.

"What just happened?"

Harry's face screwed up, "Urgh, they are going to fuck like bunnies now." When Draco just gave him a blank look, Harry explained. "It's their thing; aparantly, Remus going all feral, or Sirius being a protective bad boy gets them going."

Draco grimaced, finaly catching on. "I did not need to know that. And neither should you. How do you even...?"

"Don't ask, it's painful as it is. They forget their silencing charm way too often. I swear to god, the way they are with each other, you would think they are still horny teenagers and not men who have been married for nearly two decades."

Draco looked at the door through which the two men had just left. "I think it's sweet, though, that they are still crazy for each other, even after so many year," he murmured, his eyes flitting to Harry. "I would love to be like that with someone when I am their age. Have what they have."

"Yeah?" Harry's voice was soft as he hugged Draco from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"Yeah, It seems lovely," Draco said shyly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

"I suppose it does."

Draco turned his head, meeting Harry's eyes. Harry leaned in, catching Draco's lips in a chaste but deep kiss. A promise of possibilities, a tentative hope for a future, of something great and amazing and utterly beautiful. One that they don't have yet, but the could. If they tried. Slowly but surely. Together.

"Eww."

They broke apart and Harry rolled his eyes at Teddy's disgusted face and Draco snickered, dropping his head on Harry's shoulder.

"This reminds me: let's put our own silencing charms for precaution, I don't want you to get traumatised already," He told Draco.

"Do they really forget to do it that often?"

"Often enough for me take this precaution. Now c'mon."

After they placed the charm, Harry began to finish preparing breakfast, picking up right where Remus left. Draco came to stand next to him.

"Harry."

"Yeah?" He said distractedly, eyes on the pan as he flipped the last of the pancakes.

"Thank you."

When Harry looked over, Draco wasn't looking at him, but was instead busy taking out the plates, a soft smile on his face.

Harry opened his mouth as if wanting to ask what he was grateful for, but he didn't. And Draco was glad, because he had a feeling that he himself didn't know the answer. Because it wasn't a Thank you for the pancakes, or for standing up to his father, or for letting him stay, or none of those other things. It was much more...just much more than what anyone can thank someone for in words.

It was for love, for comfort, for safety, for the cozy evenings, languishing afternoons, and lazy teasing breakfast mornings. It was for the unconditional and unbidden love that rediated in this house. The urge to protect each other like the family they were. It was just the feeling of having someone, or some place, to call your own, and feel it too. Like home.

Draco felt Harry's eyes on him as he made a smily out of Jam on Teddy's pancake, just how Teddy liked it.

Callouse hands held his waist, and suddenly Draco was being pulled in for another kiss. He eagerly responded, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck, his jam-sticky fingers in the air behind him, away from Harry's hair.

This time they ignored the mock gagging sounds that Teddy made in the background, like the hypocrits they were. It seemed like they had no right to criticise Sirius and Remus.

In the end, Draco set the table as Harry pulled out choclate yogurt from the fridge and gave it to Teddy, ruffling his hair. Teddy's face lit up, all his earlier rage forgotten, and he rewarded Harry with a wet smacking kiss on his cheek. As Teddy dug into his yogurt, Draco joined them on the table, sitting next to Harry and accioing a napkin to wipe Teddy's already choclate smudged face.

All in all it was a blissfull summer morning at The Black-Lupin's.

Based on Young Sheldon (season 2, episode 20)

Remus: *sends a selfie to the groupchat in the most awkward pose ever*

Remus: Sirius said to post this someone tell my deluded boyfriend he needs glasses

James: wdym babes xx

Lily: mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy?

Marlene: taking down my lesbian flag rn, hun. just so you know.

Sirius: heheh

Sirius: Let’s get into the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!

James: That is called murder and I have it on good authority that it’s illegal.

McGonagall: I’m trusting you boys with this. It’s a big responsibility.

Peter, beaming: Thank you Professor.

James, saluting: We won’t let you down.

Sirius, saluting: You can count on us!

Remus, wearily: And by that he means, you can count on me.

Regulus Arcturus Black

"no one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." - c.s. lewis

The Black brothers 👑

Sirius and Remus by Knock on Twitter (reposted with permission from the artist. Do not delete credit)

James potter 🤝 gilbert blithe

^

Simping for red heads who hate them

James: I know you have a crush on my boyfriend!

Barty: Everyone has a crush on Regulus, James get over it.

Sorry Evans, I must not tell lies 😏

James: 👁👄👁

Decided to illustrate this dialogue. I present to you: Disney prince Sirius 👑

*sirius and james setting up a voicemail*

Sirius: Ready?

James: yeah

Sirius: “Hi.”

James: “It’s”

Sirius: “Sirius”

James: “and”

Sirius: “James’”

James: “please”

Sirius: “leave”

James: “leave”

Sirius:

Sirius: I- I just said leave

James: Yeah i know because you have all the good words. I have “it’s” and oh “a”, ugh forget it

Sirius: Tahts so silly

James: alright then let’s switch

Sirius: No i have all the good words

James:

Sirius: Ok fine fine we can switch

James: “Hi”

Sirius: “everybody”

James: “it’s”

Sirius: “sirius”

James: “and”

Sirius: “james’”

James: “please” -wait. How did you do that!?

Sirius: Whatt??

James: oh you’re no ordinary roommate are you

Sirius:

James: Oh this will be fun

Dumbledore: I need your help

Harry: Hang on I have to ask my parents

Dumbledore: wha-

Harry: *pulls out a Ouija board* Hey mom and dad, can I go with Dumbledore in a mission?

Lily and James from the afterline: A-B-S-O-L-Y-T-E-L-Y N-O-T

Harry: They said no :/

Dumbledore:

They make me so happy and extremely sad..

Remus: You’re the love of my life, my soulmate, and I would do anything for you.

Sirius: I want you to eat three meals a day and get decent sleep.

Remus: Absolutely not.

Fred: What would our Marauder names be?

George: I bet it’s something cool

James, watching them both: Ah yes, Thing 1 and Thing 2

Bitches be like "this is my comfort character" and then it's a gay dog who went to prison for 12 years bc they thought he had murdered his best friends and swam his way out of it through a fucking ocean just so he could kill a rat and reunite with his godson and his werewolf lover. That's me. I'm bitches.