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jaskier-cult · 4 months
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okay but jaskier doing the “oh big stretch” to geralt all the time just to be a little shit to the point that geralt goes back one winter and does it to one of the other wolves in the hot springs before he thinks about it
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jaskier-cult · 6 months
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Something about Jaskier fighting side-by-side with his White Wolf
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jaskier-cult · 6 months
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Funny how Geralt always stayed on the sidelines with Jaskier's conquests for fear of a broken heart and yet he got a front row seat to watch the bard fall in love with the prince.
Geralt would cut the bard off when he started talking about the virtues of whatever man or woman he spent the night with, but he had no choice but to listen to Jaskier when he told him how the prince learned his song, because the poet appealed to their "best friends" bond.
Geralt smiled inwardly when the bard left his conquest for the night alone to go order him a bath and wash his hair with special soaps and oils after the hunts. And then the witcher had to witness Jaskier leaving him to go order Radovid a bath because "his long blond hair has never been anything less than perfect and cannot be left uncared for, Geralt." 
Geralt always distracted the bard with a story of past hauntings with terrifying creatures every time Jaskier began to compose a love song for his conquest, but nothing could distract the poet when he began to talk about how beautiful and bright Radovid's eyes were and how he wanted to find the perfect words to describe them. 
Geralt faked annoyance every time Jaskier asked to sleep next to him at night insinuating that he was too cold for a little bard. Geralt feigned relief when Jaskier told him that he would no longer bother him with that because he now slept with Radovid and his arms and fur blanket were more than warm. 
Geralt kept as much emotional distance as possible from the bard who approached him in a tavern in Posada so he wouldn't have to deal with a broken heart from falling in love with a human. 
But absolutely no distance in the world prepares him when that night while they were camping alone, Jaskier lying next to him and looking up at the stars, turns to him and says softly "I'm not in love with you anymore, Geralt. You don't have to act cautious around me anymore."
And Geralt can't say anything. Because he simply can't. He must have misheard, maybe the kikimore from earlier hit him too hard or something because there's no way, no world where Jaskier was in love with him. There's no way he would have wasted his chance. 
Jaskier, oblivious to the witcher's stupor, continues "I know I made you uncomfortable with my affections for you, I tried hard not to throw myself at you if I'm honest, but Radovid... I've fallen so much in love with Radovid that I'm ready to let you go. I'm sorry it took me so long to give you and Yenna peace."
Geralt looks up at the stars in silence, not believing what he just heard. Jaskier is about to turn away when Geralt takes his hand. He says nothing, just a simple squeeze. Jaskier breathes a sigh of relief, the witcher doesn't hate him for that, he doesn't ask him to leave as he had feared. Geralt is also relieved that he is no longer burdened with the bard's feelings. 
Geralt allows himself to hold his hand one last time. He allows himself a small luxury, so that he can silently mourn the loss of his bard and curse his own stupidity. Tomorrow he will watch as the bard is reunited with the prince, tomorrow he will watch with a broken heart as they embrace and the prince spins Jaskier in his arms, before kissing him and swearing eternal love. Tomorrow Geralt's heart breaks completely. 
But just for today, just for that night, he allows himself to take Jaskier's hand, draw him into his arms and breathe freely the scent of the man he has been in love with for over two decades. Just for that one night, Geralt allows himself to be happy.
----
I really love to make me cry ^^
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jaskier-cult · 10 months
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BEAR JASKIER MY MOST BELOVED 😍😍😍😭😭😭
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when you forget to tell your daughter that you age a bit differently... bear!Jaskier my beloved too yessss. Thank you!!
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jaskier-cult · 10 months
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Here’s the thing:
Jaskier doesn’t have a horse. I mean yeah, technically he has Pegasus but in nw and most fanon media he doesn’t. The man walks at the same pace as a horse every day for twenty years. And I’m sure Geralt let him put SOME things on Roach, but probably not much. She’s Geralt’s horse and needs to carry his things AND Geralt, no one wants her to be over extended with bard stuff. So that means Jaskier carries all his stuff himself which is AT MINIMUM, his lute, notebooks, probably like 3 sets of relatively complex performing outfits and road clothes, all his fancy cosmetic stuff, a bedroll, and his METAL coin money. He also probably has first aid things like bandages and potions, frivolous things like baubles and jewelry, food, water, and probably other bard stuff like spare strings and such.
Yeah, Jask is depicted as traveling without bags but that’s just not possible. He probably carries his own essentials and as someone who backpacks— that alone is usually 20+ lbs. WITH modern technology aimed at making things lighter. Thats not counting all the fancy stuff he’s prone to and his career tools. Jaskier is probably hauling like 40-50lbs or more of stuff EVERY DAY while mostly roughing it off the land and keeping pace with a man on horseback. Oh, and this is WHILE SINGING AND TALKING the entire time. Can you imagine this man’s lung capacity? To sing and talk constantly while exerting himself?
This is all to say: Jaskier is strong as fuck and fit as hell. The thing is though, he probably doesn’t even recognize it. Yeah, he probably knows he’s got the muscle and such, but he still is largely perceived as a delicate person. He PROJECTS being delicate. Being fragile and pampered and in need of the finer things. He projects capable, but not strong. This. Is. Hilarious.
Jaskier, having already walked 12 miles at a moderate incline carrying 40lbs of stuff without breaking a sweat (it’s barely past midday): Geralt I am FRAGILE. I cannot POSSIBLY walk through this mud. (It’s like a 3 ft section) I’m not a rugged mountain man like you, I’m simply not BUILT for this!
Geralt, staring at Jaskier who’s as burly as most Witchers and has walked the path w/o Witcher training for over a decade: hm
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jaskier-cult · 11 months
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jaskier-cult · 1 year
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jaskier-cult · 1 year
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they should've cast Tom Hardy as Geralt he wouldn't be afraid to have gay sex on screen
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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Ah ... so ...
Has anyone noticed Geralt looking ... different lately?
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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there’s something different about him…
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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Jaskier in s4 seconds after seeing Geralt:
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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It’s doing bizarrely well on Twitter so I’m bringing it over here.
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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There's something odd about Geralt lately...
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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Demon!Geralt Geraskier AU premise/concept
(not a full full fic, just some fun)
Jaskier is a music student at an ivy league university. He has been disowned by his wealthy parents, so he is broke and working as a janitor to help pay his way.
One sunny morning, he is cleaning a frat house. The house is quiet, because all the frat boys are sleeping off hangovers from their epic Halloween party. There are broken glasses, stray bras, and empty bottles everywhere.
Ever since he was cut off financially and started cleaning dorms and frat houses, they don't invite him to parties anymore. It's fine. He is fine with it.
As he walks into the kitchen, one of the boys who used to be a friend (or so he thought) passes him groggily in the hall on his way to the bathroom. Jaskier feels a slight flush of embarrassment and decides to start cleaning in the basement.
When he descends the stairs to the basement, he takes in an odd scene.
There are abandoned velvet...robes? Everywhere? And more broken glass. There is a black circle painted on the ancient stone floors (Jaskier is gonna take a picture of that before he starts, to prove he didn't fucking deface university property) and burned down candles everywhere.
He takes out his phone and just as he snaps a picture, an abandoned robe in the center of the circle moves. Fuck. He jams his phone in his pocket. The guy is probably just sleeping something off, but what if he passed out down here? None of these fucking douchebags would have helped him. He better make sure he's ok.
He pulls aside the robe, to find a muscular, stark naked man, curled into a ball. The man startles when he feels the robe move, and he sits up. His hair is white and his pupils are golden. And when he sees Jaskier, his body flushes pink, and, wait....are those? Scales? Red scales?
The man swiftly arranges his hair and Jaskier realizes something disappears when he does that.
"Do you have...horns?" Jaskier asks stupidly.
"No. I do not have horns. Not any longer."
"Are those scales?"
Jaskier reaches out a finger and gets his hand slapped.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
The man doesn't reach for his robe. So Jaskier picks one up and holds it out. The man takes it but doesn't put it on.
Jaskier clears his throat. "Your friends are all sleeping up there. They can probably find a better place to sleep than on some rocks."
The man tilts his nose up ever so slightly. "They are not my friends."
He stands up and Jaskier's throat goes dry as he just keeps....standing. The man is huge. Like. Not normal huge. Enormous.
Jaskier looks down as the man puts on the robe. "Then why did you come to their party?" Jaskier lifts the broom in his hand. "I'm getting paid to be here at least."
"They summoned me."
"Summoned?"
Jaskier stares at him for a moment in silence. The man just stares back.
"Are you a--"
"A demon, yes."
"Shit. That's. That's cool. I've never met a demon."
"You aren't afraid?"
Jaskier scratches his temple and considers. "Well. According to my parents, Satan is my father and I'm going to hell when I die. So. Seems like I sort of....maybe...belong to you."
"Hmmm." The man seems to be amused, but it is hard to tell.
Jaskier holds out his hand. "Jaskier. Nice to meet you."
"Really?"
"Why not?"
"Well. It's usually less nice to meet you and more here are my demands."
"They summoned you to demand something? What do people usually demand?"
"It's usually fuck or fight. I don't know what these guys wanted because they wandered off before I got here. They were pretty wasted."
"Fuck...or..."
"They want me to kill someone for them. Or they expect me to fall in love with them and fuck them. Or some combination of the three."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Well, you're very attractive, Mr..."
"Geralt. It's Geralt."
"You're insanely attractive, Geralt. I feel uniquely qualified to say that since I have seen you stark naked. But it does seem rather....presumptuous to expect that any demon that shows up is going to want to fuck you."
"I do not think they care what I want."
Jaskier shuddered. "Fucking creeps."
Geralt grunts listlessly. He arranges the robe around him. The black velvet is stunning against his skin. These douchebag frat boys might be pricks, but they do have an eye for fabric.
Jaskier stays silent for a moment again, listening for noises upstairs. "I think they're still asleep. Why don't you get out of here. Go home."
"I cannot. I am bound inside the circle. And even if I could get out of the circle, I am bound to this plane until they release me. There is a ritual where they release me back home. Back to hell."
Jaskier lays down the broom and rubs his chin in thought.
"Can I let you out?"
"Yes. Just scuff the circle."
Jaskier immediately scuffs the circle, and Geralt sighs in relief. He steps outside of the strip of black paint and stretches his arms, then his legs. Jaskier is thoroughly transfixed by the rippling muscles and thighs thick as tree trunks.
"I cannot leave this area though. I find that I can get about a mile away before I start to fade. I cannot leave. And if they realize their ritual worked, they will find me."
"But the only way they will do the closing ritual is if they realize it worked."
"Exactly."
"You are in a pickle, sir."
"Indeed."
Jaskier clears his throat and scuffs the floor with his foot, even though the paint is scuffed enough. "You can come stay with me. Hide out. I am staying in a hostel now, but it's a private room. We could sneak you in."
"You would do that for me?"
"Of course. And I've already raided their pantry. I have bags of food under the window outside I can just swipe on the way out." Jaskier grinned. "We can eat like kings."
Geralt chuckles. "I do enjoy human food occasionally. I don't need to eat, but it is pleasurable. But Jaskier."
"Yes?"
The demon scrunches his face, affecting a ferocious threating expression. "His power over me does not extend to you. You cannot compel me to do anything. In fact, I can kill you with a thought. Just a mere notion. You'd be dead. Rotten. Bones clattering to the ground. All that before I even speak."
Jaskier sucks his cheeks in for a moment as he thinks. "Well, do you kill people for being annoying?"
Geralt shakes his head. "No."
Jaskier grins. "Then I'm safe."
They sneak upstairs together and slink through the halls. They hear voices in the living room and Geralt startles. The sight of a demon the size of a dragon trying to crouch back into corner is one Jaskier will not soon forget.
Two of the frat boys are awake and chatting. "Did you see fucking Julian come through here?"
"No. What's that dickswab doing here?"
"He's in the basement cleaning."
"He's the cleaning lady?"
"He's poor now. His parents disowned him."
"Why?"
"Why the fuck do you think?"
The boys dissolve into laughter and Jaskier feels his neck flush hot. For some reason, it is extra humiliating to be laughed at in front of a large, powerful, gorgeous, actual demon.
"Come on, Geralt," he says. "There's another exit.
As they change direction down the other hall, there is a shriek and a gurgle from the direction of the living room. Even though they move fast and are outside in just a moment, Jaskier hears the screams through the open window.
"Percy's dead!"
He looks at Geralt in shock. Geralt shrugs. "Percy wasn't at the ritual. I'm not bound to him."
"I thought you didn't kill people for being annoying?"
Geralt fidgets. "He isn't dead. They're being dramatic. It's just a bit of...pain." He watches Jaskier, brow furrowed. "Do you--do you-- still want to help me?"
Jaskier doesn't need to think about that one. "I do. But you need to learn some manners. There are a lot of assholes in this place and even some living in the hostel. If we leave a trail of bodies, they'll find you very quickly."
Geralt nods.
"Good. Now. How do you feel about cappuccino?" He lifted a bag that jangled. "They have one of those fancy machines. I'm borrowing it."
Geralt grunts again. Jaskier has already figured that one out. It is agreement.
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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nsft, lots of murderous thoughts, they were roommates, Jaskier being weird af, unconventional sugar baby Geralt but he hates Jaskier XD, Jaskier thinks Geralt is neat (holds up potatoes)
"Your existence haunts me."
3am on a Monday morning after a 36 hour shift at the hospital and Geralt is in all honesty contemplating to murder his roommate. It would take him all but a few calls to get rid of the body and he's pretty sure he'd do the world a favor by having Jaskier fucking Pankratz vanish from its service.
The eccentric young man that somehow wormed his way into Geralt's apartment and part of his life, hasn't been home all week, just for him to reappear at the worst time possible. At 3am. After a 36 hour shift.
Jaskier is on the toilet of all things, looking like he's been fucked throughout the whole week without a proper break or a shower that lasted longer than five minutes. He is wearing nothing but a glittery pink crop top with the word 'Daddy' badazzled on it and a tiny puke green top hat hair clip that looks like it was bought for 2006's Sylvester party. Geralt desperately wants to believe that it's not the same clothes Jaskier has left the house in, but knowing the billionaire everything is possible.
With no shame whatsoever Jaskier smiles at him like he's the sun, before taking a long sip from his bubble tea. It's fucking disgusting and Geralt wants nothing more than to kick it out of his hands and Jaskier out of his life.
"Geralt, love of my life! How are you? How was work? Did you save lots of lives today?"
"I despise the fact that you still breathe."
And that. That's the worst thing about it. Geralt can't remember saying a single nice thing to Jaskier and yet the other man is somehow infatuated with him. The younger one pouts at him, takes another long sips of his bubble tea and chews on the pearls. Before meeting Jaskier, Geralt would have never imagined anyone ever sitting on the toilet drinking, or eating for that matter. Jaskier is all kinds of fucked up while being completely unaware of it and Geralt suffers.
He wakes up every day knowing that this is his life now. That there's no way past puke green top hats and badazzled crop tops for him anymore. As much as he hates it, as much as he fantasies about burying Jaskier's cold body on a nice spring morning in the mountains, this is his life. And it's his own damn fault.
"Did you just come back from the hospital? I got here like 20 minutes ago. Good that you weren't here then, I would have definitely woken you up, bursting through the door while the tacos were bursting through me."
Geralt feels like he's about to cry. This is the man he owes his life to. This fucking disaster of a human being is the reason he's still walking around freely, his reputation unblemished and his family still alive. Needless to say he has spent many sleepless nights screaming into his pillow while cursing every single deity he can think of.
"Please go back to the hell hole you crawled out of."
Why is he even having this conversation? Why is he still standing in the doorway of the bathroom instead of just using the other one before crying himself to sleep? It has to be the lack of sleep, the terrible working hours, his growing insanity that keeps him from just leaving the conversation. Instead he bangs his head against the door frame, apologizing to the last of his braincells as Jaskier wipes his ass and flushes the toilet. Geralt doesn't look, because fuck no, he'd rather die, when Jaskier walks towards the shower, naked from his ribs down. As he pulls the hair clip out of his brown locks and rids himself of the ridiculously tiny crop top, Geralt wonders if a life in prison would have been the more merciful decision.
"Are you just going to stand there looking pretty, or are you going to join me, Ger-bear?"
"Absolutely not. You look like a walking STD."
"Don't be ridiculous, sweetheart. I was at Valdo's all week and barely got to leave the house until last night."
Geralt grunts, too tired to think of another sentence that describes how much he wants Jaskier to slip on a bar of soap and break his hip in the shower. He has admittedly no idea what Jaskier does when he's with Valdo Marx but he knows that the man is happily married and has never looked at Jaskier twice. Why the billionaire still looks as fucked out as he does, Geralt can't explain.
"I'll go drown myself," he says instead as he collects his towel and bathrobe from their hooks. The blow dryer should still be in the other bathroom with the tub, where he left it.
Jaskier is already under the spray of the shower head, so when he speaks the volume of his voice gets muffled by the falling water.
"I got you that new conditioner you saw the other day, it should be somewhere near the hypoallergenic bath bombs that go well with your skin."
Geralt hums in good humor, knowing that Jaskier can't hear him. The other man has long since made it a habit to buy everything Geralt might possibly want or need. And while a lot of the presents he gets are absolutely ridiculous, he doesn't say no to some of the fancier, horribly expensive, hair products Jaskier buys him. Of the very few things he can stand about himself, his hair might be on top of the list. Mostly because Eskel loved it.
More often than not he wonders what his family might think of him if they were able to see him living like this. He's glad they can't. Very, very much so. Still he wonders. Would they tell him to leave Jaskier the moment they meet him? Would he? Leaving Jaskier's grasp would mean leaving his realm of protection. The fucked up world in which a man that wears a puke green top hat hair clip has more power than a king.
Furthermore it would mean leaving behind the hospital, his friends and colleagues, the life he build himself around Jaskier's antics. He's not sure if he wants to let go of that just yet. Or ever, if Geralt is honest with himself.
As much as he is disgusted by 70% of the man's existence, there is another 30% left to complete the math. Those stupid 30% that are Jaskier being nice, quiet, attentive, charming and overall overwhelmingly good. Jaskier who let him live at his apartment rent free when he had nothing, Jaskier who bought him everything he could ever need and still showers him with presents almost every week. Jaskier who listened to whatever little part of his life he told him about, Jaskier who knew all of his colleagues by name, who had picked him up multiple times from the hospital when he was too exhausted to get home by himself, Jaskier who-
"I should have brought the toaster with me."
For some reason the younger man has decided to follow Geralt into the other bathroom and is now sitting on the ground, legs crossed, not dressed, dripping a puddle onto the tiles. He is staring at Geralt through his huge blue eyes and shoveling chips into his mouth like it's a normal thing to do on a Monday morning at 3.30.
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jaskier-cult · 2 years
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bloody jaskier, anyone?
The Witcher 1x05, Bottled Appetites
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