Itās weigh in Friday! Iām at 222.4lbs yet again! Haha and you know whatā¦ Iāve been maintaining for three weeks just about. Time to start lowering my fat intake and upping my fiber and movement. The end of this week, Iāve been doing just that since Wednesday of this week. Iām feeling so great and determined. Motivation is so fickle, but I know that I want to be healthy and happy! I hope everyone has a great week, and rememberā¦
Just be better than yesterday, one day at a time. šš¾āØ
Iām Jackie (youāll learn more about me later) and Iām a fat girl who runs.
There are actually plenty of fat and/or bigger women who run on the internet and thatās fucking amazing! Mirna Valerio is a fucking icon; Jill Angie is absolutely spectacular; Julie Creffield is super great. There are so many more women (and men!) out there showing that fat people can and do run and doing it unashamedly. What a time to be alive, right?
But in my quest to find blogs and podcasts and the like to get me through my first 5k (more on that later too), I was confronted with this: so many of these people are running long distances. They talk about training for marathons, or ultra-marathons, or 50, 100ks. Which is great and amazing!Ā
But Iām not trying to do that. Iām not sure Iām ever even trying to run a 10k, to be honest. And hearing aboutĀ ārecovery runsā that are longer than Iām running ever was a little disheartening.Ā
So, this blog was born.Ā Ā
What I want this blog to be is a space of encouragement.Ā If youāre struggling to run a mile, or two miles, or some distance that feels like aĀ āshortā one to anyone who is aĀ āreal runner,ā I want this blog to be here to tell you itās okay: youāre a real runner too!Ā Ā
Now, to get this out of the way: I WILL NEVER GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS.
That is not what this blog is about. I am not running to lose weight. Iām not. Iām running because as it turns out, itās LIFE CHANGING in terms of my mental health. I never thought I would be that girl, but here we are: I feel better on days I run. But I have not lost weight since Iāve been running, and I donāt care if I ever do. I care about feeling better, no matter what the scale says. Iām a big believer in fat positivity and body positivity. Iām not running to be āhealthierā in the physical sense, (though Iām sure it is making me healthier by some standards,) because I donāt owe health to anyone for existing in this world; Iām running because it gives me a sense of accomplishment and combats the intrusiveĀ āwhatās the point of anythingā thoughts that can try to invade my brain.Ā
Iām probably always going to be that big, red-faced bitch trucking along slowly getting passed by theĀ ātypicalā runner. But thatās okay, because Iām still doing it. And if youāre doing it too, then no matter how fast or how far youāre going, as long as youāre feeling good, youāre killing it.Ā
Getting used to posting on here again haha! I forgot to update on Friday, but Iām currently 222.4lbs and feeling sluggish š I have been eating more junk food this week as Iām getting used to my new job, but slowly finding balance!
Getting back into moving 4xs a week! Iām aiming to have a physique difference by naked eye in December! Thatās my main goal, although being between 185-195 would be ideal, if Iām still over that but Iām happy and healthy, I donāt care šāØ health has ALWAYS been first here, and will always be first. Last week, I was feeling not so hot so eating more greens and less processed fats is the goal!
Itās been a long time, I think over a year since Iāve been on my account. Iāll go ahead and recount whatās happened since then. I moved, I got my car broken into and my things stolen, I got back into rollerskating, I gained back to 222lbs, I celebrated 5 years of marriage, I worked through some trauma, I lost a decade old friendship, I lost a job and got another one in my field, annnnnd I made TONS of new friends! This past year has been ups and downs at the fullest for me. If youāre still following well hiiii! Iām still striving to be healthy and maybe lose a bit of weight, but overall I want to be happy and healthy (iykyk)! Iāll be posting once a week on Fridays for weigh ins (physically and mentally/emotionally) and getting back on schedule!
And with good reason. I had to, because Iām out fighting for my people. For a while, I slipped on self care and needed to spend some time away. Just know Iām doing well for myself again, and Iām happier now. With everything going on in the world, remember that #blacklivesmatter and self care is important, and itās necessary. Iām currently 200lbs on the dot and for the first time in what seems like my whole life, my weight isnāt important at all. My health, in all aspects, is more important than that number. My life has been so different lately, but thatās really all I have. If youāre still following me, I appreciate it!