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m7pace · 10 months

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Chapter One

Warnings: Mildly sensual content (nothing explicit)

Pairing: Felix Lee & Reader

Taglist: (At the bottom) Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Words: 2K

After an exhausting day of rehearsals, I arrived at our little secret apartment with a bag of chips in hand. As I entered the living room, I froze in my tracks, my jaw dropping as I saw Felix sitting on the couch, intently reading my journal. The embarrassment surged through me like an electric shock, and I automatically dropped the bag of chips, mess scattering across the floor.

After I regained my composure, I quickly rushed forward and snatched my journal from him, my face completely flushed. Felix laughed amicably at my sudden response before informing me that my journal looked just like his.

"When did you write that?" Felix asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, you hate me?" he continued with a tone of mockery.

"Ugh, shut up," I whined at him to try to calm my nerves and restore equilibrium.

"Come here," he grinned and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his demeanor.

He pulled me into a warm embrace, his laughter subduing as soon as he noticed my pouting expression. "Are you okay?" he inquired with concern in his voice.

I hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether I should voice my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I mustered up the courage to speak. "Really random, but I... I want to go out on a date with you," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper.

Felix shook his head almost instantly, a concerned expression crossing his face. "You know how risky that is, angel," he said, his voice tinged with worry. We both understood the stakes of our secret relationship, the potential consequences that could demolished everything we worked for.

But I could no longer hold back the longing to experience the simple joys of dating; to hold hands without judgment or scrutiny in public. Although we could never do it like that, I settled for doing it cautiously - our secret meetings in this small apartment had become treasured memories, yet their weight of secrecy became intolerable.

"I know, but I can't help it; I want to be with you like any other couple would," I begged with my voice trembling with desperation. "I promise I'll be extremely careful; we'll take every precaution."

He sighed, a mixture of love and concern evident in his eyes. After a moment of silence, he finally relented, his voice filled with resignation. "…Alright. I’m not certain so don’t get your hopes up, but I don’t think I have too much of a busy schedule tomorrow.”

"That works for me," I responded as I extended my hand for him to shake. Initially, my excitement quickly dissipated but soon was replaced by anxiety that we were entering uncharted waters but nonetheless willing to proceed forward.

On that note, we proceeded with our day and grabbed snacks, ready to lose ourselves in the world of cinema.

Sarcastically, I suggested watching a horror movie, knowing fully well that Felix despised them. He rolled his eyes playfully before sitting back down, his arm instinctively finding its way around my waist. It was a simple gesture, but it sent shivers down my spine, not from the chill in the air, but from the desire he ignited within me.

Felix had discovered my journal and seemed more in tune with my subtle needs and desires than ever. While watching a movie together, his touch served as a constant reminder of our close bond.

My attention was drawn away from the film as my mind wandered toward Felix, his lips that occasionally bit, which I found undeniably attractive, as well as his hand that kept touching my waist until finally, it drove me mad and I couldn't take it any longer.

Slowly, I removed his arm from around me, causing him to look at me inquisitively. He asked I was uncomfortable, but I shook my head, struggling to find words that wouldn't betray the depth of my yearning. I was so incredibly needy for him.

His keen perception didn't go unnoticed. Felix soon caught the look in my eyes, realizing that I wasn't fully present in the moment. I barely reacted to anything happening on the screen, my gaze often catching the view of him, particularly his enticing lips. He seemed to understand, interpreting my longing as an invitation.

He reached for my thigh with cautious boldness, his touch soft and deliberate. I immediately looked at him, but he kept his eyes on the screen. Gradually, his hand moved between my thighs sending shockwaves of pleasure through my body. Gasping in surprise, I swiftly slapped away his hand.

Coincidentally, a moment after, my alarm rang, shattering the charged atmosphere between us. I stood up abruptly, the urgency in my voice evident as I told him I had to leave before arousing suspicion within VXN.

He quickly understood what had transpired, his expression reflecting my mix of disappointment and understanding. I quickly gathered my belongings to make my quick exit - our stolen moments together were often fleeting; any chance of discovery was always present.

As I returned to my dorm, I discovered all of VXN sprawled across the carpet in various states of sleep. They appeared to have had an active evening without me. Before I left earlier, I made up a story about an old friend visiting for several days as an excuse for Felix and I to spend more time together. Although it pained me greatly to obfuscate what we were undertaking with Felix's case, our actions necessitated confidentiality among its members.

I took on the task of cleaning up their late night revelry by picking up popcorn and candy wrappers scattered across the living room floor, but it wasn’t so bad knowing the freedom and solitude provided by being part of VXN; we never had to share rooms.

As I tidied up, I couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness. The laughter and camaraderie that had filled the air earlier now echoed faintly, reminding me of the life I was keeping hidden. With a sigh, I finished cleaning and began the task of waking my weary and weak members, ushering them off to their rooms.

As I entered my room and closed the door behind me, the weight of the night weighed heavily upon my shoulders as I crawled into bed to seek comfort in silence. Reaching for my phone, I unlocked it to see any messages; much to my delight there were texts from Felix.

As I read his messages, a rush of warmth spread through me, tinged with a slight twinge of embarrassment. It was reassuring hearing that he loved me, even it was more than apparent. Perhaps it was the ambiguity of our relationship that temporarily fueled my doubt.

I couldn't help but giggle like a schoolgirl, my cheeks flushing as I hoped the other members wouldn't hear.

As soon as I put down my phone, I felt the weight of exhaustion settle upon me and I allowed myself to drift off into sleep.

As the new day dawned, I awoke groggily to the sound of someone knocking on my bedroom door. Shocked, I leapt out of bed while struggling with sudden brightness of daylight. Tired and disoriented, I opened it to find Hannah standing there with a mischievous grin across her face.

"Hey, Hyejin! You overslept! I thought you were already up," she exclaimed, her laughter filling the air.

Apologizing for my tardiness, I let out a small chuckle, realizing that I had fallen for her playful prank. It was a relief to hear that we didn't have any schedules for the day. Everyone knew it was a free day, but in my drowsy state, I had momentarily forgotten.

Hannah's eyes studied me for a moment, as if searching for something beneath the surface. "Are you alright? Did you get enough sleep?" she asked, genuine concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered honestly to disprove any suspicions.

Hannah met my gaze briefly and understood something was amiss, yet chose not to probe further; instead, she simply changed the subject by asking about an old acquaintance I mentioned seeing the day prior.

Stumbling over my words, I quickly concocted a response. "Oh, it was great catching up with them after all this time. We actually have plans to go out again today," I stammered, my voice betraying a touch of nervousness.

Hannah nodded with a knowing smile before turning away to leave. "That sounds wonderful - enjoy your time together," she replied before turning and walking off again.

As she walked away, I closed the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment to collect myself. The exchange with Hannah had left me feeling both relieved and unsettled. It was a reminder that our secret relationship, the web of lies we had spun, was not as hidden as we had hoped.

As I sat alone in my room, taking a deep breath and bracing myself for what lay ahead, I exhaled deeply to prepare for today.

Felix and I set off for our date with mixed feelings of excitement and nerves, searching for a cozy cafe where we could completely lose ourselves in each other's company.

To protect our anonymity, we took special measures to disguise ourselves. I donned sunglasses, a low-cut black hat pulled down over my eyes, and a black hoodie that covered most of my features; sometimes even going as far as wearing black gloves as an attempt at concealing my true identity from prying eyes. As experts at deception we navigated our way through the streets trying to blend in as best we could while dodging any prying eyes that came our way.

Sitting across from one another, we ordered our drinks - iced lattes as a small gesture of unity in our secret world. When I touched the cold glass against my fingers it sent chills down my spine; an indirect reminder of all of the risks we were taking and delicate path we were treading together.

As we sip our drinks, Felix and I engaged in light conversation about trivial matters of life. Felix inquired about VXN and I assured him that everyone was doing fine. Felix's smile filled my heart with longing; my desire was strong enough that it made my body ache with longing to hug him close despite knowing the potential danger of such actions.

Within our peaceful moment together, however, a wave of panic quickly overtook Felix. His eyes widening as he looked down at his phone with fingers trembling slightly; I asked what had happened anxious for answers.

"Someone posted a photo of us together."

At that very moment, time seemed to halt in anticipation of our next steps. My heart skipped a beat as fear raced through my veins but I fought hard not to let it affect our demeanor and draw unnecessary attention towards us.

I gritted my teeth, thinking about how fast those photos were leaked. I unlocked my phone to have a look myself. The first post on my feed was the leaked one – how was it spreading so fast?

Sighing, I stared at the photo, examining it to see if there were any clear indicators that gave it away. I hesitantly opened the comment section. The comments were quite mixed.

I just had to hope people wouldn't believe what was said.

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@colorguardlover14

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