magidoggie

[magidoggie]

just a heads up this is going to be some type of vent post about disability

so I haven't been very active on social media in the last few months for a simple reason. agony. and I don't just mean the mental type of agony, I mean my body has been sick for a year now, and it only keeps getting worse.

in early 2023 I started to get a lot of unexplainable mucus in my throat that eventually caused me to gag and throw up multiple times a month. in May it got so bad that I couldn't eat very much for a few weeks. that seemed to get better, but the Mystery Mucus stayed. Swallowing has been extremely difficult from that point on, and I can pretty much only eat if I have a mouth full of fluid to help the food down.

I lost some weight, and promptly regained it once I started eating a normal amount again. however I gained more weight back than I wanted to and it triggered some kind of eating disorder. I tried dieting, and it worked.. for a few days at least

it seems like something inside my body just kinda broke from that point on. I would get heart palpitations, dizziness, nausea, hot flashes, stomach pains and often times feel like I was about to faint if I hadn't eaten for a couple hours, or if I had just eaten. it's linked with ravenous hunger that just would not go away, and only increased over the months. I couldn't sleep for days at one point because my heart was beating at an insane speed for days at a time for an unknown reason

I'm now on appetite suppressing medication, which takes the edge off the hunger, but it still feels like it's getting worse. I've been to countless doctor's appointments to no avail to the point where my own doctor straight up said "I can't do anything for you"

I've had so much blood works done and nothing ever came up that would indicate anything

every single day has become a struggle and it feels harder and harder to cope with living with this unknown disability that makes me feel sick almost every hour of every day, and now having my own doctor giving up on me. it feels like it's never going to get better

it's really difficult for me to do anything or enjoy anything I used to do and I cant count how many times I've thought of suicide because of it

my options are shrinking

if I ever stop posting for good, there's a reason

#doggie barks

[magidoggie]

y'know, I'm really glad that whoever was in this body in the years 2017-2021 never became popular online (I'm plural for context) said person fell into some deep alt right rabbit holes that I, as Doggie, climbed out of.

she's not in this body anymore, but I think if things were different, and she was well known, people on the internet would harass me for it to this day.

I think a lot of people online have the mentality of "once bad, always bad" even if someone improves (or in this case, is literally a different person) and I don't think that does anyone good

I'm glad that the most widely known thing done by anyone in this body, is a goofy as Lorax song cover from 2017, and not the awful shit that I still live to regret

[magidoggie]

some things about nonbinary ppl because some peeople are ignorant:

not all of us are afab (i really fucken wish this tiktok girls would stop assuming that because it's just not true)

not all of us want to be called an enby, that makes some people uncomfy and everyone needs to respect that

not all of us go (or want to go) through hrt

not all of us use they/them prns or neo pronouns

some ppl use just he/him or she/her and that is fine because it's your own person

not all of us name ourselves just. words. like "sock" or "blue" (no hate of course to the people who do, those names are very cool, but it still is a stereotype and it's annoying when ppl genuinely assume this outside of being meme-y)

not all of us dress androgynously and we dont have to

and lastly, none of us owe anybody else anything because it's our gender, and it's no one else's business

[magidoggie]

some weird bigot asked me if I "dream about being the opposite sex or mentally ill" 1: what the actual hell does that mean lmao 2: I dream about doing your mom

#doggie barks

[magidoggie]

Hotel Mario beta cutscenes have been found. I used the audio to make the characters say trans rights and intersex rights :3

#trans rights #transgender #transsexual #intersex #hotel mario #youtube poop #ytp #Youtube

[magidoggie]

I'm not sure how reassured I feel by this, but I sure hope it's genuine

A message from a few of the trans staff at Tumblr & Automattic:

We want trans people, and LGBTQ+ people broadly, to feel welcome on Tumblr, in part because we as trans people at Tumblr and Automattic want it to be a space where we ourselves feel included. We want to feel like this is a platform that supports us and fights for our safety. Tumblr is made brighter and more vibrant by your presence, and the LGBTQ+ folks who help run it are fighting all the time for this, for you, internally. 

A few days ago, Matt Mullenweg (the CEO of Automattic, Tumblr’s parent company) responded to a user’s ask about an account suspension in a way that negatively affected Tumblr’s LGBTQ+ community. We believe that Matt's response to this ask and his continued commentary has been unwarranted and harmful. Tumblr staff do not comment on moderation decisions as a matter of policy for a variety of reasons—including the privacy of those involved, and the practicalities of moderating thousands of reports a day. The downside of this policy is that it is very easy for rumors and incorrect information about actions taken by our Trust & Safety team to spread unchecked. Given this, we want to clarify a few different pieces of this situation:

The reality of predstrogen's suspension was not accurately conveyed, and made it seem like we were reaching for opportunities to ban trans feminine people on the platform. This is not the case. The example comment shared in the post linked above does not meet our definition of a realistic threat of violence, and was not the deciding factor in the account suspension.

Matt thereafter failed to recognize the harm to the community as a result of this suspension. Matt does not speak on behalf of the LGBTQ+ people who help run Tumblr or Automattic, and we were not consulted in the construction of a response to these events.

Last year, the "mature" and "sexual themes" community labels were erroneously applied to some users' posts. An outside team of contractors tasked with applying community labels to posts were responsible for this larger trend of mislabeling trans-related content. When our Trust & Safety team discovered this issue (thanks largely to reports from the community), we removed the contracted team’s ability to apply community labels and added more oversight to ensure it does not happen again. In the Staff post about this, LGBTQ+ staff pushed to be more transparent but were overruled by leadership. The termination of a contractor mentioned in the original ask response was for an unrelated incident which was incorrectly attributed to this case. We regret that the mislabeling ever happened, and the negative impact it has had on the trans community on Tumblr. 

Transition timelines are not against our community guidelines, and weren’t a factor considered by the moderation team when discussing suspensions and subsequent appeals. We do not take action against content that is related to transitioning or trans bodies unless it includes violations of the Community Guidelines.

When it comes to the experience of trans folks on Tumblr encountering transphobic content, and interacting with bigoted users, we understand and share your frustrations. Tumblr’s policies, and Automattic’s policies, are written to ensure freedom of speech and expression. We prohibit harassment as defined in our Community Guidelines, but we know that this policy falls short of protecting users from the wider scope of harmful speech often used against LGBTQ+ and other marginalized people.

Going forward, Tumblr is taking the following actions:

Prioritizing anti-harassment features that will empower users to more effectively protect themselves from harassment.

Building more internal tooling for us as Staff to proactively identify and mitigate instances of harassment.

Reviewing which of the tags frequently used by the trans community are blocked, and working to make them available next week.

We’re sorry for how this all transpired, and we’re actively fighting to make our voices heard more and prevent something like this from happening again in the future. We know firsthand that having to deal with situations like this as a Tumblr user is difficult, particularly as a member of an already frequently targeted and harassed community. We know it will take time to regain your trust, and we’re going to put in the work to rebuild it.

We appreciate the space we have been given to express our concerns and dissent, and we are thankful that Matt’s (and Automattic’s) strong commitment to freedom of expression has facilitated it.

We will continue to fight to make Tumblr safe for us all.

— This statement was authored by multiple trans employees of Tumblr and Automattic.

[magidoggie]

not sure what to put as the caption but. yeah!!!!

[magidoggie]

TME and TMA as intersexist terms: as written by an intersex transfem

I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.

Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?

But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.

Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.

Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.

This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.

What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.

And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.

If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.

The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)

You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.

This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.

Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.

So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!

[magidoggie]

I know I talk about intersexism from perisex trans people a lot. It’s because I love trans people and want to share a community without being hated and harassed by them. I want them to realize what they’re doing is wrong and I want fellow intersex people to have the same standing as trans people in our shared spaces. That includes not being gatekept, not being called slurs, and not having lies made up about us. Things that I find to be frequent in trans circles

#doggie barks #actually intersex #intersexism

[magidoggie]

I'm once again seeing a lot of intersexists claiming that anyone who has the "wrong agab" cant identify as a certain type of trans (AMAB transmasc and AFAB transfem)

fun fact! we can! assigned gender at birth is an classification done at birth, not a thing your body can BE. and with intersex people, our bodies fall outside of what these classifications denote. someone "AFAB" can be born with a penis! someone "AMAB" can be born with a vagina! this shit is entirely made up

by gatekeeping these labels to only a certain assigned gender each and not even making an exception for intersex people, what you're doing is telling intersex people that you view us as lesser. you view us as "cis invaders", and in doing so, you're punching down because you think we're lesser

as an intersex person I feel very unsafe around people who use "AMAB/AFAB" and "TMA/TME" to describe others.

the way I've seen these terms are used in the greater online trans circles really just looks to me like a new binary, with the implication that AGAB and genitals are linked, and that any of these categories are predictors for whether someone is affected by transmisogyny or not

as in "trans AMAB = penis = trans woman = TMA" and "trans AFAB = vagina = trans man = TME"

these ways of thinking are so unsafe to me as someone who doesnt fit neatly into any of these categories, and I've seen first-hand the disgusting amount of intersexism that comes out of people's mouthes in conjunction with these abbreviations. it's either people saying something intersexist or completely erasing us (sometimes surprisingly both at the same time!)

I have to avoid sharing so many of my own experiences in online trans circles because I know the moment I say enough about my body, many perisex trans people will mentally shove me into the category of AMAB or AFAB and then go on to assume how my body works and which things I experience (which is creepy as fuck, people should stop doing that)

in short, AGAB tells you literally NOTHING about someone's body, and transmisogyny is NOT exclusive to only perisex trans women

#doggie barks #I'm just getting so tired of certain perisex trans people and the shit they say. just say you want us gone

[magidoggie]

In my experience of being an intersex person in online trans circles, perisex trans people will just lie about your body to your face, use slurs, and get away with it

#actually intersex #intersexism #doggie barks

[magidoggie]

she is just checking the cylinder. nothing else going on here

[magidoggie]

as an intersex person I feel very unsafe around people who use "AMAB/AFAB" and "TMA/TME" to describe others.

the way I've seen these terms are used in the greater online trans circles really just looks to me like a new binary, with the implication that AGAB and genitals are linked, and that any of these categories are predictors for whether someone is affected by transmisogyny or not

as in "trans AMAB = penis = trans woman = TMA" and "trans AFAB = vagina = trans man = TME"

these ways of thinking are so unsafe to me as someone who doesnt fit neatly into any of these categories, and I've seen first-hand the disgusting amount of intersexism that comes out of people's mouthes in conjunction with these abbreviations. it's either people saying something intersexist or completely erasing us (sometimes surprisingly both at the same time!)

I have to avoid sharing so many of my own experiences in online trans circles because I know the moment I say enough about my body, many perisex trans people will mentally shove me into the category of AMAB or AFAB and then go on to assume how my body works and which things I experience (which is creepy as fuck, people should stop doing that)

in short, AGAB tells you literally NOTHING about someone's body, and transmisogyny is NOT exclusive to only perisex trans women

#doggie barks #not gonna use tags on this one #I dont really want a bunch of intersexists to harrass me #I just needed to get this off my chest

[magidoggie]

the more I find out about this the worse it gets

#WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

[magidoggie]

when I was like 9 years old, my dad let me try to disassemble one and I kept hitting the screen with a hammer unsupervised

#I love finding out devastating information!

[magidoggie]

My accent in English has a feature that is probably influenced by my native language, Danish. By default I devoice all voiced stops and fricatives at the end of words. This means pairs of words like "horse/whores" and "course/cores" where the second word typically has more of a Z sound at the end, is S in my case.

You'd think this means that these sets of words sound identical, right? they're not. because my weird ass accent has a fully fledged vowel length system (probably as compensation)

course is /koɹs/ meanwhile cores is /koːɹs/ with a long o!

I've had people not be able to tell when I say write vs ride /ɹɐɪʔ/ vs /ɹɐːɪt̚/ (probably because ʔ and unreleased T sounds the same to untrained ears

my wackiest pair (actually trio) of words is horse/whores/horrors

these come out as /hoɹs/ /hoːɹs/ /hoɹːs/

a long R! what!

#doggie barks #linguistics #idiolect

[magidoggie]

Gonna preface this by saying this is just my own experience!!

As I’ve grown older and tried to heal a bit, I’ve been slowly growing more and more tired of having disorder type language used for me. I certainly don’t see myself as disordered in many of the ways people want me to

I don’t have a “DSD”, I’m intersex and I love my body and there’s nothing wrong with my sex and how my body has developed. I think it’s wonderful

I don’t have “ASD”, I’m autistic, and yes I struggle a lot when it comes to understanding allistic people, but that’s not something wrong with ME, my environment just isn’t ideal

I don’t have “DID”, I’m plural and I admittedly have amnesia, but I’m not a trauma response. I’m so much more! I’m me, and I love me, along with all the beings I share a body with

I don’t have “a disorder on the schizophrenia spectrum”, I just have sensory experiences that people don’t want me to. It’s not scary to me. I see many beautiful things and hear many funny things

But these are all labels people have tried to put on me, both IRL psychiatrics people and online people, as if me being different automatically means I’m “suffering” from these differences. Obviously not all my differences are great. I have chronic disability and a lot of trauma. But of the things I mentioned, there’s nothing disordered there. I’m not “broken” or “wrong” or “ill” or “disordered” just because I’m different from the societal norm. And these were only small part of a bigger list!

All the love to the people who do consider those parts of themselves disordered, that’s your own experience!

If I was in distress from these things, perhaps I would consider myself disordered in those areas! But I’ve been learning to heal somewhat, love myself, my body, and my brain and now I see things in a different perspective

#actually intersex #intersex #actually autistic #autistic #autism #schizo spectrum #plural #actually plural #endo safe #gatekeepers drink sewage water #I think a lot of people are gonna be mad about this one lol!