at the ed clinic i went to i overhead this one girl saying "when jesus doesnt eat for 40 days its called a miracle but when i do it i get sent to an ed clinic"
Does anyone else have a scene playing in you head that goes like this: you constantly wear loose clothes so no one can see your body or how skinny you get and then one time you wear something that reveals your body and BOOM you’re tiny as hell and people didn’t expect you to look like that but now they’re jealous
one of the worst things about eds is the constant inner conflict between the rational and the irrational part of your mind.
i want people to notice that i'm unwell, but at the same time i don't want people to bother me. i want to be free, but at the same time i don't want to let my ed go. i feel like i need to be hospitalized to prove that my ed is serious, but at the same time i don't want to end up in hospital. i want to reach my ugw, but i know that if i do reach it, i'll be forced to gain all the weight back so there's no point in doing so.
living with an eating disorder means living with a constant war in your mind, this shit is exhausting as fuck.
my ed is making me do really bad things sometimes. it's almost like another person in me that shows up anytime it wants and i can't control it. i can just wait. and survive.