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markleesch1ld · 1 year

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talking away; e.w

(female!reader)

summary: where the reader loses someone close to her, and ellie attempts to comfort her best she can.

warnings: joel is ALIVE in this one, innocent touch, crying, ptsd, ellie cracking a poorly timed joke, girlfriend!ellie, reader experiences first panic attack

a knock came from your front door, each tap echoing with a sympathy you could stare through.

you didn't want to open it.

you didn't want to talk.

"y/n? it's, uh... it's me."

ellie.

today was your brother's funeral. you were both on patrol when he had sacrificed himself to save a family of three from some infected, and had gotten bit during the fight. you didn't know. they had planned the burial a week after, to which you had refused to discuss anything.

he ended his own life to prevent himself from turning.

"...joel's worried."

you remained silent.

"i'm coming in, okay?" her muffled voice announced, before the creak of your door engulfed the shack.

your eyes remained glued onto a loosened floorboard you had broken in an immature fit of violence, fingers gently gripping the sides of your mattress.

"...babe." she called out gently.

you could feel her looking at you with worry.

the door shut, and ellie's gentle footsteps made their way to your dresser, where she placed some tupperware with some dinner portioned out for you.

"i brought some, uh, some soup." she sniffed, placing the plastic box down with a small thud.

"mm." you responded, voice hoarse from your sobbing.

"...can i come sit?" she questioned, which led to you patting the empty space next to you.

the gentle ruffling of her hoodie and the shuffling of her denim jeans against the sheets were all you could hear for a brief moment, before she finally settled.

you almost began to speak before you saw her open her arms slightly in your peripherals, then leading you into her hold.

"...you'll be okay, baby." she muttered, tightening her grip and pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. "i know you will."

"...i was expecting jesse."

"hm?"

"i thought maria would send jesse over here. since i've been avoiding you. she thinks we hate eachother."

"well," ellie began, "she isn't entirely wrong."

you cracked a pretty smile, ellie chuckling behind you and pressing a chaste kiss to the back of your neck.

"maybe you hate your floor a little more than me though." she remarked.

your eyes fell on the broken floorboard in the middle of the room, your head buzzing with silent thoughts.

"shut up."

you both sat in silence, ellie tracking her hands up your sides to nestle underneath your sweater. they tenderly stroked the skin in a way that lulled you to a state a calmness.

"you wanna try eating that soup?" ellie suggested. "or are you gonna leave it until i eat it?"

"i'll eat." you replied quietly, getting up to grab a spoon from your cabinet.

your hand wrapped around the utensil, forearm knocking a mug onto the floor. it clattered, smashing from the height it came down from. your body flinched harshly, heart lurching out from your chest.

it squeezed, the pain from that moment wrenching the organ from its restraints with an ache you couldn't handle.

you couldn't breathe.

the spoon clumsily fell from your grip as your hands flew to your ears, flat over them as you let out a heart-wrenching sob, it coming out in stutters from your rapid breaths.

the revolver limply hanging from his phalanges. you could see the reflection of you in his eyes. his cold, dead eyes. staring back at you like you were a freak for crying the way you did. like it was normal to be dead. you could smell it; the stench of ichor, running under your boots like water at the riverbank.

two hands wrapped around your being, making you thrash and hit against them. they only held tighter, and a new scent entered your nostrils: familiarity.

"hey, you're here! y/n, you're here, with me!" ellie's voice rumbled through your eardrums as you trembled in her grip.

"why did he-"

"hey! tell me what you can feel?"

you stood, perplexed, adrenaline running high.

"wh-? y-your..." you gulped intermittently. "hoodie. your hoodie."

"that's good. what can you smell?"

soap. a really mundane soap that, regardless of how many people used it in jackson, you would forever connect to ellie.

"good. you're doing great. we're gonna take a deep breath, alright?" ellie mimicked the breath after that, you following suit after.

"i can't do it-"

"yeah, you can. come on."

you attempted again, finally catching her rhythm. your vision, that was once blurred, eventually cleared, revealing a concerned but equally as relieved ellie. her arms were still wrapped around you, the realization that you probably would have collapsed if you had forced you both apart.

"you with me?" she asked gently, your breathing now less erratic.

you shuddered, but nodded, ellie continuing her modelling of breaths. after a few minutes, you calmed down, head slumping into her chest.

"okay." ellie breathed, stroking your head. "that was scary, huh?"

"...i couldn't breathe. why couldn't i breathe?" you mumbled into her clothing.

"...i don't know."

ellie's eyes flashed to the broken mug pieces on the wooden floorboards, and then back to you. the connection between the loud noise and your fit started to make a little more sense. to her, at least.

"did it scare you?"

"yeah, but... it's never been like that."

"...let's get some food in you, yeah? and then i can go tell joel that you're okay."

ellie sat with you, ensuring that you ate enough (or as much as you could stomach without feeling nauseous) before laying down with you on your bed.

she returned her hand underneath your clothing, stroking your stomach and the gash adjacent to your belly button. it had healed over since the incident; you got cut trying to jump back up into the vent and avoid the clicker you couldn't fight off.

your eyes fluttered, opening and closing with the sound of ellie humming a tune that relaxed you.

"you tired, baby?"

nodding wordlessly, you stared up at your ceiling.

"earlier would tire you out. get some rest, yeah?"

your eyes finally closed, mouth slightly hanging open as you drifted off to sleep, ellie rubbing your back when you manoeuvred onto your side.

you'd been told to rest enough.

if it was anyone else, you probably would have just gone for a walk.

you're so glad jesse hadn't come over instead.

#ellie miller #ellie williams #ellie tlou #tlou2 #joel tlou2 #tlou part two #jesse tlou #comfort

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markleesch1ld · 1 year

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hit the road; m.l

(female!reader)

summary: bestfriend!mark takes you to hang out with him at a diner with his friends, where you begin to realise that being around him makes you happier than you originally thought.

'im outside'

the text message lit up your phone screen with its notification, and in turn, your eyes. you looked back up at your vanity mirror, swiping a final brush of strawberry lipgloss onto your lips. a last ruffle of your hair made you feel confident enough to leave, and you grabbed your phone and purse.

you shouldn't be doing this, especially since you hadn't alerted your father on the matter, but you couldn't care. you couldn't remember when last you said 'yes' to mark asking you to hang out, and you couldn't let him down again.

sticking your head out of the window revealed mark's car: not too flashy, but cute enough to be on one of those polaroids. in it sat a grinning mark, dark hair sweeped above his ears and sitting pretty.

he made a hand gesture for you to come down, and so you did. you had planned it perfectly: your house had a tree, which you had a small treehouse in as a child. adding an extra ladder to the side was one of the best things you could have done.

mark stepped out of the car, minding the fact your father could see him if he looked too carefully outside his bedroom window. he stood at the bottom of the ladder, just in case you had managed to fall like the many times before.

"be careful, dude." he teasingly commented, making you look down as you moved.

"what are you doing? we promised you wouldn't leave the car."

mark scoffed.

"and you promised that i wouldn't have to carry you around for two hours because you sprained your-"

you hopped down from the ladder, mark loosely holding you to ensure your stability.

"come on, klutz. before your dad sees." he took you by the hand to his red 1970 dodge challenger, with a thick black stripe down the middle of the bonnet.

he pulled the handle, opening the passenger door for you.

"thank you," you smiled in thanks, sitting inside.

he then closed the door behind you, jogging around to get into his side. upon closing the door, he rolled up the sleeves to his beige sweatshirt, a habit of his he did when wanting concentration.

"got your seatbelt on?" mark queried, looking over at you.

after hearing several loud clicks (and an agitated noise from your mouth), he let out an amused chuckle seeing you struggle with the seatbelt, which caught your attention as soon as he began.

"shut up. your stupid, flashy car has crappy seatbelts, mark." you complained.

he didn't respond; mark simply reached over you, pulling the seatbelt with ease and pushing the metal into the buckle.

the close proximity in the small act made your stomach feel funny. he smelt really good up close: too good. the scent comforted you, seeing as it was the one you said you enjoyed the best when he asked last week.

"you got it now?" he asked.

"yeah. just... just drive."

the drive with mark was peaceful; going through the small patch of countryside with the radio gently playing the classics. hearing him gently sing some of the lyrics. watching as his fingers tapped the steering wheel with the rhythm, and how it was exactly on every beat. noticing the pretty veins press against his skin. eyes falling on the pretty mole beneath his jawline, on his neck. the one underneath his eyes, lingering amongst his cheekbone.

such strange thoughts and feelings were apparent.

and in the moments you weren't looking at him, you could feel his brief bursts of looking at your side profile, eyes tracing every shape.

mark pulled up to the diner, smoothly parking in an open spot. it was a new place, one he mentioned before when he talked about going there with his newest group of friends. you hadn't inquired whether they were showing up, now that you had thought about it.

"mark."

"hm?"

"are your friends here too?" you asked, pulling down the mirror to examine your makeup.

"yeah. why?"

you shrugged, looking at him, "no reason."

you closed the mirror, unbuckling your seatbelt and stepping out.

the diner wasn't awfully busy, much to your relief. you didn't deal with crowds very well, and mark knew that. walking in, it had a cosy atmosphere, and was warmer than what it was outside.

your eyes fell on the table, noticing the bright looks when they saw mark, and the equally happy looks when seeing you.

"mark! what took you so long?" one asked.

"yeah, we've been waiting for like, hours."

"haechan, jungwoo, stop being dramatic, it's been ten minutes."

"guys, this is y/n. my best friend."

your heart panged at your description, which was out of character. however, your expression wouldn't falter from the bright smile you were to give.

"hi." you greeted shyly, and one of them jumped up.

"hi, y/n, i'm jaehyun. i'll introduce you to everybody, don't worry. so, we got..."

jaehyun went through the whole table, then beginning to ramble about how they all became acquainted, causing mark to cut him off before he revealed everybody's origin story and ushered you to sit down.

you didn't sit next to mark; you sat inbetween johnny and jungwoo. they were great guys, so you didn't have a problem with them at all. johnny was a real gentleman, asking if you needed anything whenever he could in a way that wasn't overbearing. jungwoo kept you entertained, you two both discussing subjects you were both surprisingly passionate about.

mark wasn't too far away, which was relieving. he was just on johnny's left.

"so, y/n," one of them piped up, who you knew as haechan. "how long you been friends with mark?"

"uhm, since we were little." you responded.

"we're only friends because she literally saved me this one time when we were kids."

mark then went on to enthusiastically telling the story of how you defended him when this kid was picking on him, and ended up hitting him in the face. you both had been friends ever since. you hid your face in embarrassment when he went into unnecessary detail about how happy he was somebody was that nice to him.

"that's so cute!"

food eventually came around, as well as drinks. it was mostly beer; nothing you couldn't handle. food was just burgers and fries, which was something you found simple yet effective. however your appetite was a little suppressed, which wasn't usually like you.

everybody else was eating and drinking as usual, and you made it a promise you would try to have at least a few bites and a drink at some point. you were unsure if it was your social battery reflecting on the rest of your body or your subconscious poking at you.

mark picked up on it sooner or later, after noticing that your meal was untouched, but you had been through at least one beer. your head was rested on the table, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress.

"hey, johnny. swap with me real quick?" he asked.

johnny didn't make any comments, swapping seats. mark soon came into view, and you felt slightly better other than your head spinning. he copied your position.

"everything okay?" he queried.

"mhm. just not hungry."

"that's unlike you."

"i know."

you sighed.

"...you're lying to me."

damn it.

"tell me what's wrong with you. are you bored? do you wanna go home?"

"...why do you always treat me so nicely?" you asked.

unsure of whether if it was your tipsiness or if you were genuinely asking, he froze up a little.

"uhm... because we're best friends, y/n. i care about you." mark responded.

"but i don't wanna be best friends, mark."

mark soon became curious, "why not?"

"because your best friend shouldn't feel weird about you."

"you feel weird about me?"

"...i feel sick." you frowned, arms wrapped around your stomach.

"do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"uh-huh." you nodded.

"alright, uh..."

mark made a way for you to get past and go to the bathroom in about five seconds. he had mentioned something about texting him if you were sick so he could take you home, but you were already speedwalking to the nearest cubicle.

you locked it behind you, the feeling subsiding slightly.

"why do you have to be so awkward?"you groaned to yourself.

you hated it. you hated feeling so weird about him. it wasn't just a now thing. it had been going on for months, and you didn't know what to do, or how to get rid of it.

"hey mark, where did your girlfriend go?" jaehyun teasingly queried, seeing him return.

"shut up, she's not my girlfriend. she just said she felt sick."

"you gonna ask her out?" he asked, resulting in mark almost turning bright red and hushing him adamantly.

"what if she hears you, genius?" mark frowned, sitting back down.

"no but seriously, mark," johnny chimed in. "all you ever do is talk about her. just ask her out."

"it's not that easy, johnny. plus, you're literally a stud. girls fall over eachother to get to you."

after grumbling angrily to yourself for ten minutes, you finally exited the bathroom, hoping you didn't look like you had been reprimanding yourself.

mark somewhat perked up upon seeing you, to whcih you understood as relief. he stood up, approaching you so the others could hear what he was saying.

"you feeling any better?" he asked.

"yeah, just... nerves." you shrugged, playing with your fingers.

your eyes met your cuticles, subtly picking at them as you glanced back over to the table.

mark sighed gently, taking your hands into his own. they were awfully warm against your semi-cold ones, embracing the cooled skin.

"don't do that."

you looked up, heart fluttering in your chest. those same butterflies flooded your stomach, similar to earlier, and you awkwardly retracted your hands with an obvious blush. mark choked back a chuckle as he watched you sit back down, flustered.

"finally, the lovebirds are done." jaehyun commented, making mark look at him so sharply that the eye contact could cut souls.

"anyway, who's down for icecream?" johnny proposed.

everybody cheered like kindergarteners at the request, and fifteen minutes later it had arrived.

mark reclaimed his seat next to you, making sure you got icecream before everybody else did.

"i don't like chocolate," you frowned at him, staring down his vanilla sundae.

"you want some of mine?" he requested.

"please." you begged childishly.

he laughed, spooning a small amount of the flavour into your mouth. you savoured the taste, not even recognising that mark used the same spoon for his own.

"did you eat from the same spoon as me?" you asked.

"yeah. problem?" he queried.

"uh, yeah. dude, we basically just kissed if you think about it."

"you have a problem with that?"

the way he responded was in both a teasing and vulnerable tone, one you hadn't heard from him.

"well..."

you really didn't mind.

"no."

mark's facial expression hadn't faltered, but the redness in his face was a dead giveaway. if you weren't so deadset on keeping the friendship, you would have called it cute.

but it was cute.

mark was really cute.

you couldn't deny it.

"hello? earth to y/n?" mark waved his hand in front of your face, having another spoonful of icecream. "you keep staring at me."

"huh?"

"it's been two minutes. you're melting more than the icecream, dummy."

you fixed your posture.

"no, i'm not."

the hangout finished, meaning mark had to drive the fifteen minutes back to your place, and then the ten back to his. everybody else had left, leaving you and mark at the diner by yourselves. johnny was the last to leave, paying for the food everybody got.

you sat quietly, watching mark say goodbye to everybody.

he was so amiable. so endearing. you wondered how he made it look so easy.

"you okay there?" he asked.

"...i don't know."

"...is it happening again? you remember the techniques, right?"

"mark, i'm not having one."

he looked visibly relieved, "okay. good. so... what's wrong then?"

he seated himself next to you.

"okay, so... you promise you won't be weird with me?"

"be weird with you?" he asked. "y/n, i've never been weird with you."

"i know, i just... i really admire you."

"why thank you."

"but it isn't in a friend way."

"oh?"

oh.

"everytime i'm around you, i feel like i'm gonna be sick. but not because i think you're gross. because you do all these nice things for me and..."

"and?"

"i think that you're... really..."

"really what?"

the nausea in your stomach built up again, your fingers resorting to their habitual picking of their cuticles. you took a shaky deep breath, mark slightly on edge.

"oh, i can't do this."

"can't do what, y/n?" he asked. "did i do something?"

"...i think that i like you."

a silence filled the room.

"y/n-"

"i know. i shouldn't have said anything. you probably don't see me as anything past a friend, and that's fine. just... please don't leave it like that. just shut me up and say something."

mark took your left hand in his right, interlocking your fingers. he took you out of the diner, and into his car, driving you home without a word.

it was quiet, deadly quiet. he hadn't turned the radio on as he usually did, and the rhythmic tapping couldn't comfort you like it once did. you felt nauseous again. why wouldn't he talk to you?

mark walked you to the ladder of your old treehouse, and you couldn't take the silent treatment anymore.

"why won't you say any-"

you felt nothing but lips on yours, still as though to ask if it was okay. inexperienced, you experimentally moved your lips against his in the same manner, mark smirking underneath. his hands came up to cup your cheeks, and you melted into the affection.

he was kissing you. and it was warm, and real, and bright. and the world had somehow shifted into technicolour.

well, that was a dramatic way of explaining it, but the euphoria was amazing.

he pulled away, pressing a gentle peck onto your lips when he was done.

"...can i be your boyfriend?" he asked.

your head was buzzing after the kiss, mark stroking your cheek only increasing the fuzziness.

"y/n."

"yes. a million times yes."

he smiled brightly, and it was the purest smile you had ever seen from him.

suddenly, you heard his phone vibrate, and the sudden look of 'oh shit' on his face.

"that's my mom. she's gonna kill me."

"oh. well, go then."

"right, i should- go."

a comforting silence wedged itself between the both of you.

"so... bye, mark." you grinned.

"bye, baby." he kissed you one last time before jogging over to his car with a speed you only ever saw when he was in trouble.

he comically blew a kiss from his window before driving off, the red body vanishing up the street and into the patch of countryside.

"baby. such a sap." you shook your head, biting back a grin as you climbed the ladder back up into your room.

your father must have not caught on, which you were thankful for as your feet hit your carpet. you kicked off your shoes, changing into a sweatshirt and some shorts.

as your body hit your bedsheets, a warm feeling surged through your body.

a name buzzed through your mind at night, omnipresent in your rest.

mark lee.

#mark lee #nct mark #nct u #donghyuck #lee donghyuck #nct 127 #nctzen #nct #mark lee x reader #mark lee x you #mark lee x y/n #mark lee x female reader #more kdrama like than i would have liked

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