mscudilove

[mscudilove]

M.I.A. - Paper Planes (HQ)

2014

10 years ago, I was a single girl getting my money honey. I had been the biggest M.I.A. fan for a decade. Also a fan of an up and coming singer not so known Lady Gaga. The greatest thing about this era was the glamorous and eccentric style I had. Who knew rewinding & listening to the music of this era would spark my heart to dream more.

I had a great group of friends who had just started having families and had lived up a decade with me on the dance floor. Concerts & getaways had been our thing for so long. This Coachella was one I would have loved to go to.

Lana Del Rey is another artist I fell in love with in this era & and Jhene Aiko as well. They both were headlines at this year's lineup. So I relive through memories of when I saw them performing my favorite songs live. Lana is the only artist I haven't seen live & I'm hoping she starts touring.

Today, I made a playlist of happiness, and so I am inspired to tap into that era of life. For the last 8 years, I have been so immersed into mom & lover life. Through everything I have lived, I have grown into someone so different & yet so that girl I dreamed of. Yesterday, I got evaluated at work, and I am so proud of the growth & the balance I have maintained at work.

It was always my dream to live a full life & yet be happy to go to work & support my colleagues while making a difference in my patients' lives. It's time to continue to grow through my career & reach for the next step upward. I'm super excited for the next 10 years forward & onward!

#AmorDeMiVida #PaperPlanes #JustDance #lifeisbutadream #Youtube

[mscudilove]

Dark & In-depth

Some things are just too deep & complex for simple minds to understand. Education is Elevation. Tapping into the darkness is hard work. Teaching my daughter about the dark wolf & the light wolf within all of us.

Just heard Alan Watts it was a message I needed to hear. Today, I found myself lost in a beautiful song; Lagunas by Peso Pluma y Jasiel.

She likes almost everything she knows about him, but lots of what she knows is in her own imagination. He's willing to promise the world, but he's probably unable to give even himself. What a lovely picture this bride & groom make. They might have found each other, but instead, they remain stranger's. Each is a dream in the others mind. They don't want to accept each other as they really are. They would rather change each other to satisfy their own ambitious. That's why they are doomed to fail.

This is the problem with relationships these days. Everyone is so distracted and disrespectful to the process of really getting to know someone deeply & intimately. Another issue is that most people don't know or love themselves intimately, so they project insecurities into each other.

So I decided to be strange and powerful. A deep connection with my light & darkness while loving life. I am grateful to have been a lone wolf in a tribe that taught me the interesting things of life & survival. It's time to pass on the knowledge & wisdom I have learned thus far to my beautiful cub. Being strange yet beautiful is the tradition I will pass down ♡

#lifeisbutadream #forever #womanwarrior #love

[mscudilove]

Aqyila - Hello (Official Audio)

Happy Spring Year 💜

Hello hello hello. Returning to the old me. Authentic. BOUNDARIES. Clarity, commitment, creation, & community. Referring to the me that is here to love every single part of me.

C'est La Vie. All the dreams you sold me. I need to hold myself down & only embrace those who are here for the real me. Hello.

All because I'm letting go. Letting go of the old me that helped me grow to who I am today. What a beautiful journey. I guess you wonder where I've been? Hello hello!

Journaling my journey as I live. I speak my soul through the pen. There is no controlling what may come & who may go. There is only being present in each moment, so when it's time to say goodbye, I'm ready.

#youtube #lifeisbutadream

[mscudilove]

You Gotta Be

The other day, while driving home from my other sister's house, I presented my favorite teeny bopper song. This song still shook me 20 years later. I hope that she can love it just as much as I do. This is no ordinary love.

My love is forever. Decades may come and go. I keep trying and trying. No giving up on my love for life. I know deep inside me how deep the Decades go. How long have I accended.

I heard what my mother said, read the books my father read. I tried to solve the puzzles in my own sweet time. I am perfecting the story in my divine time. This song alone reminds me of so much I was feeling in 1994.

Wow, and to know I'm not the only one who has a story with this song, now I'm passing it down to my daughter. Hope one day we can sing it together, driving down to our favorite beach!

#des'ree #youtube #lifeisbutadream #forever #womanwarrior #familia #spiritual ascension #affirmations #californiagirl

[mscudilove]

Spring Love

I will always love my girls. Olivia & Lana, my daughters. I can remember when I decided to get my daughter a partner in crime.

Lana was shy & scared to be given to another family, separated from her own litter. She was such a perfect companion to Olivia.

They grew up together & Olivia was a great big sister. Lana was such an amazing girl. I miss her so much. Spring was our season to bloom.

#MyGirls #daughters #familia #love #life

[mscudilove]

Today, I woke up remembering how much my sister loved St. Patrick's Day. My sister had a Leo Sun & my Venus is in Leo, so today I played with my look in her honor. Maribel would always rock lashes every day, so I even put on lashes.

Honestly, I'm not the best at putting on lashes, but I felt so fire with my look today. Today is also the day we said Adios to Tio Pancho. 3 years have gone on since our big loss year. To lose a beloved Tio & most inspirational big sister was very hard 💔

I started the year choosing to be someone I could die proud of. It was the darkest night of the soul that would prepare me for what would unfold. Now I look back with pride in myself & my actions to encourage our Familia forward.

Though not perfect, I'm close to who I want to be, and I see clearer who I can become. I am here for a purpose, and I will carry on to find it and do it! Thank you, hermana, for your support, y Tio, for all the love you shared.

#st patricks day #lifeisbutadream #catholic #traditions #missing you

[mscudilove]

Virgo Moon

Interestingly enough, I've been struggling to find motivation on how to move into my future. Organization used to be something of value to me in my young days, but now it seems to make me feel constrained.

Symbolized by the goddess in her perfection, Virgo tends to like things to be in control. The full Moon can illuminate these tendencies and encourages us to relinquish the need to orchestrate everything. (Illustration: ProVectors | Getty)

Now I feel more comfortable just letting it flow naturally like life is supposed to. No pressure, no plans, just dreams and movements into making the dreams come true with no timeline. I am an artist and fully capable of creating the life of my dreams.

The full Moon in Virgo reminds us that when we live in a vibration of love and acceptance of self, we align with our truest gifts. We can acknowledge the parts of ourselves that make us unique and we can give our genuine offerings to the world.

Forgiveness is key to moving forward in progress. The other day, I said something to someone I call a friend, which caused a disagreement. I felt guilty because I knew our differences of opinion, and nothing I said would ever change this persons outlook on life.

So I forgive myself for not being perfect and causing such an avoidable problem. I understand that I am still growing and give myself grace when I do or say something that is my outlook on life. Not everyone is going to agree with me or how I live my life & that is okay.

I'm going to be okay, and I will continue on my way. I will sprinkle my fairy dust magic on life and add my contribution to it. My purpose is to share with love my truth and not get caught up in trying to make others see it my way!

#magic #virgo moon #love #life #forever

[mscudilove]

2 Pac - Ambitionz Az A Ridah (Lyrics)

Triggered Bitch? Why, what does your conscience feel? Karma is a Bitch. One day, you feel at the top of the world, trampling on people's dreams, and the next day, you fall on your face without grace.

I keep my spirit legit through thick & thin because I understand life & balance. I don't scheme off other people or their blessings. I work hard at making my dreams come true and being there for my day ones.

For the last 25 years years I have been guided & protected by so many beautiful souls. People I knew personally and professionally through their art. I took heed to the law and the lessons they passed on. My ambitions as a rider.

Forever 2pac has been a source of strength and wisdom for how to move in these streets. How to be prepared for battle and betrayals that would come with every successful step I took. I could share so much, and one day, I might.

#2pac #youtube #lifeisbutadream #womanwarrior #forever #californiagirl #spiritual ascension #affirmations

[mscudilove]

Nieves De Enero

Now that the first week of February is out of the way. What a month, January was everything I never expected but much more. The great thing is that I had an internal strength that I could only have from experience.

I'm grateful to God for all the blessings and the tribulations that have made me who I am. This month of February, I will vibrate only Love.

I'm hoping for the best this year and always will be prepared for the worst. Regardless of what the future may bring, I will find my inner strength and love to carry on ♡

#love #life #forever #January #February

[mscudilove]

Kali Uchis - Igual Que Un Ángel (Session con Peso Pluma) [Official Video]

It's that time of the year when we reflect on love and what it means to us. For many people who love to love, there is a fantasy of the honeymoon lasting forever. As a realistic lover, I understand the complexity of stages of love.

I have seen people leave something great for something they have an illusion with only to find that stage last no more than 1 year. Then they try it again with someone else just to be disillusioned once again. It's disappointing, but it's the reality.

Love is more than a feeling. True love is a verb, an action you take every day, a true commitment. Some people just have it. They know that they are the love they seek and don't need any validation. I'm happy to claim that I carry a love that's in extinction, just like my girl Kali Uchis sings.

This track is beautiful and so giving. May you find the love you seek and not take it for granted ever because it might never come again!

#lovergirl #life #Youtube

[mscudilove]

[mscudilove]

She's Totally Worth It

[mscudilove]

Un Mundo Raro

I grew up with beautiful women sharing their love stories.  I heard the most beautiful voices sing on how amazing it can be and how heartbreaking too.  What I have learned is that in the beginning or the end of a love story transformation is happening.  Embracing the change is necessary, even if we cry our eyes out of have broken heart syndrome.  The change is part of life.

Today is the last day of the year and just like love, time is something hard to grasp.  We have to make the best of it, our lives are but a dream.  Y como canta Rocio vengo de un mundo raro and wherever I go I will always romanticize my life.  At the beginning it’s easy to go with the flow when you feel love and butterflies.  As time goes on and the romance starts to fade it’s harder to see the beauty in the mundane.  That is when you need to tap into the depth and into the magical synchronicity of life and it’s changes.

This year a lot of things were revealed to me.  Some things I loved and others made me uncomfortable but in the end here we are looking into another year of life.  LIfe is what you make it to be, you can embrace what comes or try to fight but lo que sera sera.  I am humbled by the beauty of change and the growth that comes with it.   Yes I am aware that not everyone will agree with how I live my life or who I choose to surround me but it is my life to live and love.  I appreciate those who truly love me and support my life decisions while always being there fro me through thick and thin,  That is love and its something beautiful.

For those who criticize or envy what I have, may you be aware that life moves in circles.  Every lesson is will be learned whether you believe it or not.  That what you give you will one day receive.  I always hope for the best but prepare for the worst.  LIfe is magical and I embrace the change that is needed to transform!

#youtube #unmundoraro #love #life #change #happynewyear

[mscudilove]

Like Maddy I've always known who I was and who I wanted to be from a very young age. I always cared about how I felt about things and not how others understood things to be. Especially when it came to my image. Growing up in a Latino community and also in a patriarchal society I understood that things would be expected of me that I didn't want for myself.

These last couple of days I have heard bullshit about petty and very childish expectations. I don't stress out about what people might say or even think because those motherfuckers don't pay my bills. Opinions are like assholes everyone has one and they all stink. It's each persons personal business to wipe it and keep it clean.

That is what I have to say about the shit I hear, IDGAF. I am on this earth to grow and evolve into who I want to be and not to listen to or put pressure on myself for what society wants or expects from me. Today I spoke to a close friend about her love life and I am so proud of her growth. It's hard because all relationship reflect to us where we are weak and what we need to work on to be strong.

Also the other day I saw something that spoke to my soul and it was a teaching about death cycles that we go through in our lives. It's what we go through to be reborn, to force ourselves to learn the lesson that we are the love, we are the home we search for and look for in others. We come here alone and we leave here alone. Self security is the purpose and brings you everything you'll ever need.

#love #lifeisbutadream #forever #familia

[mscudilove]

Sometimes I have to remind myself of all the good times I've enjoyed in life. Especially the times that are special because of the people I've been with. I can't remember which concert we dressed up so amazing for, but Prima Alex and I were on a whole fucken vibe. Like without knowing we had the same color scheme and outfit. I am so happy we captured this beautiful picture!

Now we are both mothers to beautiful girls who are so alike. I love it. I cannot wait until we can do a concert and bring our girls along. Synchronicity is a sign that you are aligned to something so deep and so much bigger than one can comprehend.

The holidays are just around the corner and I cannot wait to hang out with the souls and family tribe that loves me unconditionally and is always there to support me through this journey. Honestly if I didn't have the family I did, I would have crumbled and folded in so many ways. I stand up with so much joy and pride that I can be a pillar for the next generation of Lara loves!

#lifeisbutadream #love #life #womanwarrior #familia #californiagirl #spiritual ascension #affirmations

[mscudilove]

Ana Gabriel - Es Demasiado Tarde (En Vivo)

I was like 8 or 9 years old when I heard this song deep to my soul.  The other day a cool ass surgeon was bumping Ana Gabriel on his phone. I was shocked and surprised as he is not Latino that I know of, but wow it reminded me of how much I loved this woman.  I also heard a banda rendition of this song not long ago and fell in love all over again.

So I took it as a gift from the universe that I should revisit these feelings and remind myself that I am all that I have dreamed of.  Today is the 2nd anniversary of our heartbreaking day, losing my sister is the biggest heartbreak of my life.  Now I understand how silly it is to cry about someone who doesn’t choose to love you. Or how common it can be for someone to think it’s okay to play with peoples hearts.  Love is the biggest energy on this earth, it transcends space and time.  This is why these songs are beloved because it captures a universal feeling among all of us human beings.

I miss you sister but I am happy we made so many beautiful memories on this earth.  WE sang our hearts out to these ballads because we understood.  Romanticas till the end! 

#youtube

[mscudilove]

In the words of Seneca, "Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.”

Life is precious it's a warm fire on a freezing day. It's a love that consumes you, and you don't want to let go. It's but a brief dream that you hope never ends!

#love #lifeisbutadream #wisdom