remixloonylupin

[remixloonylupin]

I kinda dislike the line of thinking that Remus being a werewolf has to be either woe be him and he hates every aspect of it, OR it's actually really cool to be a werewolf and he is out and proud, like ....

Both are valid takes ofc, but like something sucking AND being out and proud about it does not like .. exclude each other?

In disability theory Gill (1998) talks about the stages of disability identity integration. An important stage (the third for anyone interested) is called "coming together", and references the internal integration of the disabled and non disabled parts of your identity. Growing up in an ableist society, we are taught that we are good in spite of our disability, and we are split down the middle into good and acceptable parts of our self and bad and harmful parts. When we "come together" internally, it is a liberation and a rebellion against a society telling us that we should hate the disabled parts of ourself.

The final and fourth stage is "coming out" and includes living proudly and openly as a disabled person.

I very much do read lycanthropy as a disability, and in that light, as a disabled person, I object to the idea that being a werewolf has to be awesome for Remus to embrace that part of himself.

Ofc there can be cool things about being a werewolf, but they don't have to outweigh the bad things in order for Remus to face his internalized ableism and embrace himself as a werewolf.

#another oldie but goodie #sorry i joined a new server so i was going back in my old stuff looking for art and so on

[remixloonylupin]

Once upon a time a weremerman who lived in captivity with a fisherman, got a Real Merman in the net.

The newly caught merman turned out to have powerful allies..

The weremerman cried out to the strangers, believing they would leave him to the fisherman

Eventually the wild merman and the weremerman fell in love. The wild merman even came to love the weremerman's uncanny, humanlike eyes.

The End

#i still think this was cool #so cheesy #løl

[remixloonylupin]

So about a forever ago I accidentally realised I was trans while watching a Marauders fan video by my partner's cousin's cosplay troup.

Inspired by the experience, I took up cosplaying and immersive roleplay as a means of exploring my identity and recovering from some nasty trauma. The above pictures are some of my early days, wearing a wig and outfits I didn't quite possess the confidence to pull off out of character yet.

But still, I love looking back on these pics, because the cocky poses and sultry looks of my normally awkward, newly-out self (put on as they may have been back then), clearly foreshadow the trajectory of my mind's liberation. Back then, I didn't think I could, didn't think I was allowed to look and feel as cool as I did when I was someone else, to be campy and cringe without shame, to grow my hair out, cover myself in home-made tattoos and dress like the hero of a teen vampire flick, just because I wanted to.

Sufficie to say, I was wrong.

So here we are, an eternity plus 18 months of HRT later. I'm firmly in my 30's, living my best life. I'm on full-time disability, which allows me to teach myself tattooing and other things I've always wanted to learn but thought I had no chance to do... I bought myself a crappy old scooter I can ride without a license, and pretend it's a motorcycle. I have a home and a family that loves and accepts me, just the way I am. I have a brilliant therapist who taught me that there is no such thing as being 'broken beyond repair'. Life is good.

Oh, and just for fun, here's the comparison strip to bring this rambling the full circle... This is me today. Not posing for a character shoot, just looking the way I like to these days.

#look at my fiance :3

[remixloonylupin]

Hmm I'm not really using this blog much ATM.

I'm ok though!

Just. I keep forgetting to check it.

[remixloonylupin]

Hey! Nice to see ya back online! Hope all is well with ya!

Hi hi!! Thank you, I'm glad to be back! I've been ok-ish to be honest, as far as these things go! I think I'm in a better place than last I was online here, even if not much have changed objectively speaking.

I've been on sick leave and I really needed the break, so I'm glad it has been an option for me. I also started testosterone like.. a couple months back? And quit most of my other drugs? It's a journey!

Also life is stabilizing for my two live in partners to an extent, like one finally got approved for disability pension and the other is finally finishing uni, so that kind of.. frees up a lot of emotional energy and breathing space for the whole family!

Thank you for checking in!! I appreciate it a lot :3

#loony gets mail #by drugs i mean meds #you can pry my drugs from my cold dead hands #jk i have 99 problems but drugs ain't one

[remixloonylupin]

In other news looking at this. why am I the most basic bitch Remus wannabe to ever walk this green earth, while my partner @wolfstar-therapy casually makes for such a genuinely cool Sirius lookalike?

I need to up my game...

I fell off the face of the earth .. Sorry about that fr. Here's some bathroom selfies to prove that I'm still alive! (?)

I have not logged into this account since last year and I was overwhelmed by all the sweet tags people have left on some of my wolfstar art... Thank you so much guys, it means the world.

#loony loops

[remixloonylupin]

I don't have much memory of drawing this, but it seems relevant to our interests and looking back at it i kinda like it so.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#remus lupin #just werewolf stuff #fanart #i am not sure if it's a literal wolf or padfoot above him or if it's a metaphor #man i wish my memory wasn't so shit #pls tell me i didn't already share this... lol #blood cw #cuts cw

[remixloonylupin]

I honestly don't even remember what I was so upset about.

I am ok.. for real.

I stopped taking antipsychotics half a year ago or so, and sure, it's a ride.. I'm really in it now. Gotta live my life and feel my emotions and work through my trauma and preconceptions and all that jazz. AP's were very helpful and necessary to me when I took them, but I reached a point where I needed to let the wolf howl a bit. Maybe try to make friends with it. Who knows.

The point is. I'm sorry for disappearing shortly after a couple concerning messages, that's kind of not cool of me.

Hey I'm safe, sorry for the concerning message yesterday I didn't mean to worry anyone, I just wasn't in the headspace to elaborate. I'm not in danger, I have a million support networks in place, it's just that I'm feeling really depressed and I thought I had an out, but turns out I don't. And that does make me want to die, but I'm not planning to actually die anytime soon.

#loony loops #no deathly desires here #yay

[remixloonylupin]

I fell off the face of the earth .. Sorry about that fr. Here's some bathroom selfies to prove that I'm still alive! (?)

I have not logged into this account since last year and I was overwhelmed by all the sweet tags people have left on some of my wolfstar art... Thank you so much guys, it means the world.

#loony loops

[remixloonylupin]

So since I combed through 18k notes to block various idiots and clear trolls I don't want on my post I also have now a collection of black trans people and black butches saying that the exact thing I spoke about is what kept/keeps them from exploring their own gender.

And I'm really just debating posting them all in the open where people can see and understand and maybe idk listen to us for once or something.

#racism tw #fuck #i just read all of these #and it's one of those things where I'm obviously AWARE but as a white person in a majority white country I don't always stop to think #i mean this is tough reading but it's harder living and if all i can do for now is listen that's what I'll do #i need to share this with people in my life honestly bc I think the idea of antiblackness too often gets discussed in too vague terms #so as a white ally this is a really good collection of tangible personal experiences that people had the grace to share #police violence tw

[remixloonylupin]

"Crashing down to earth

Wasting and burning out

Fading like a dead star"

Sirius Black headshot that I had a lot of fun painting. I think it's probably my favourite painting I've ever done!

We're going to ignore the tattoos being in a different place because I just wanted to include them somewhere.

The background was unnecessary but it was lowkey therapeutic.

#ohhh

[remixloonylupin]

Ao3 writers are the strongest Avengers

[remixloonylupin]

Hey I'm safe, sorry for the concerning message yesterday I didn't mean to worry anyone, I just wasn't in the headspace to elaborate. I'm not in danger, I have a million support networks in place, it's just that I'm feeling really depressed and I thought I had an out, but turns out I don't. And that does make me want to die, but I'm not planning to actually die anytime soon.

#loony loops #suicidal ideation #suicide tw

[remixloonylupin]

.

I want to die for the first time in a while. It feels heavy and exhilarating at the same time.

#loony loops #suicidal ideation #suicide tw

[remixloonylupin]

[remixloonylupin]

It's summer!

#my face #loony loops

[remixloonylupin]

Opening commissions :3

Hello lovely people!!! I recently finished my studies, and I'm looking for work, but that means that right now I have a decent amount of free time, while being short on money.

Therefore I'm gonna go ahead and open commissions!

I generally set the price after how long I expect it to take, and regularly check in, to make sure I don't spend too long on something you don't even want. I'm relatively quick, but it obviously also depends on the complexity of what you want :3

Below is a bunch of examples of my art - I can do cartoony through to semi-realism, but if you're looking for photorealism, I'm not your guy. Backgrounds are also not my strong suit.

I generally am willing to draw just about anything, including pornographic stuff, but I will draw the line at certain topics that may be upsetting to me (ask me). I can do little simple 2D animation gifs, too.

I'm not US-based, so you'll need to be able to send the money to my Paypal account!

Hope to hear from you!

#commissions #loony loops #if you have the inclination to reblog #please consider doing it #i could really use an economic boost rn