robotboy23
Billy
just turned 30, my back hurts
Metal
Sad
Depressed
Kansas
133 posts
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100% this
Does anyone else feel lonesome?
Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.
Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.
Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.
Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.
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nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words
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i’m talkin opposite of soft, i’m talkin wild wild thoughts
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Forced motivation, make a change
Don't sink. No more suffocating
#hatebreed#music#metal#heavy metal#spotify#hardcore#loud#self care#self abuse#selfabuse#mentally exhausted#mental breakdown#mental health#rebuild#motivatedmindset#change#freedom
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Fishes
As if I could dredge the stars
for a fragment of your light.
As if I could draw a line
from you to eternity.
As if you could hear me
when I cry.
The world is pale
and sick without you.
Anemic days
weep through
white curtains
into the blister of silence
forming around
your absence.
Your shape is fading
along with your voice.
The colors are running
and the silences bleed
with memories of you.
I try to catch
each one
as they slip,
like little silver fishes,
into the deep.
I follow them
and slide into
waters so dark
that I will never
be seen again.
And I will follow
them down forever
to where the water
meets the stars
just to seek
the color
of your eyes.
©️ JM Tiffany
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can't afford to slow down either... distractions, distractions
Book: The Pain of Healing by Samantha Camargo on amazon 💛
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