selfabsorbed-selfdeceived

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

at the end of the day, it's just you and the character you vicariously explored your gender through

#transgender #ftm #mtf #transmasc #transfem #if i said sasha waybright would that be cringe #tbh satan too #yk like the devil #the devil from the bible #are sonic dub references also cringe

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

a little personal response / tribute to "here's the life i've always longed for" by Anna Haifisch. the original means so much to me, and even though it's hard, I feel like every day i'm making more steps toward finally being on the other side of that fence <:)

#me core #preservance in the face of all odds for the sake of self love is such a beautiful thing #anna haifisch #what an amazing addition to the original piece

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Commission

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inspired by this baroque (i think. tumblr art historians lmk if i'm wrong) painting. haven't been able to 100% track down the artist but i'm pretty sure it's guido reni because that guy has a couple works of just jesus portraits with the crown of thorns. but i will update if i find any new information

should i give blue jesus bisexual lighting or nah

#baroque art #yes more jesus shit he's my blorbo

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

should i give blue jesus bisexual lighting or nah

#jesus christ #catholicism #bible #digital art #bible art #first time posting a drawing pls tumblr don't kill the quality #i am cringe but i am free #mark 15:34 lookin' ass

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

i just read an article and apparently jonathan kaplan (who played jason in the falsettos obc and was 11 at the time), watched his voice teacher who helped him through the show's auditions decline and eventually die from aids related illness during the show's previews.

in this same article michael rupert mentioned how there would be patients who came and saw the show and would go to the stage door just to be near the performers and tell them how much the story meant to them.

one day, heather macrae (charlotte) attended the funeral of her friend paul jabra and immediately after went straight to the theatre to perform in the evening show.

stephen bogardus recalls leaving the theatre and walking through the audience (about 15 minutes after the show had finished) and people would still be there holding each other.

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

jesus and lucifer may be the most popular narrative foils in all history but that doesn't make them any less special to me

#bible #christianity #okay but people don't appreciate them for the right reasons #two beloved beings who are (or were essentially) sons of the almighty god whose sole purpose was to serve humanity #really the only difference between them is lucifer said no #i'm a jesus/lucifer brothers truther #tbh them as brothers would fit the larger two brothers thing the bible has going on #their characters really highlight the horrors of unchallenged authority (god the father) #obligatory not catholic tag #not my strangest special interest believe it or not

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

you guys think mary ever had to comfort the child jesus, burdened with the knowledge of his inevitable crucifixion, while hiding her own fear for her son? imagine being a mother with full knowledge that your child will suffer one of the most painful deaths imaginable for crimes he did not commit and being completely helpless to stop it. it gets worse when you remember that his father, who also happens to be the all-powerful creator of all that exists, is the one who sentenced your son to such a fate to atone for the evil that this same creator, being all-powerful, could eliminate with a snap of the finger. mary had to face the idea that her son was a completely preventable sacrificial lamb

#catholicism #mother mary #our lady of sorrows #obligatory not catholic tag #catholic mythos is just so!! #inspired by my last reblog

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

son. my son.

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also i am not being hyperbolic in the slightest. gay people could genuinely break the catholic church

very excited for the upcoming schism in the catholic church

#catholicism #lgbtqia #the blessing isn't even the same as the sacrament of marriage and the pope still thinks gay people can't get married #but this is funny nonetheless

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

very excited for the upcoming schism in the catholic church

#catholicism #trad catholics when the infallibility of the pope doesn't go away when he disagrees with them #/hj but also /srs #martin luther wake up there's more drama

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend.

batman: under the hood, eric battle // fallen angel, alexandre cabanel // frankenstein, mary shelley

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

kind of frustratingly funny for falsettos fans to constantly ignore the women in the show. you guys really aren’t paying attention to a musical originally titled “the pettiness of misogyny” huh.

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

hi! thank you for your response!

i appreciate all of this information, especially the detail on how the cube was two layers thick because trying to figure out the inside of the cube has had me tearing my hair out these past couple days lmao

if anything else comes up, i'll definitely take you up on the offer for more questions. hearing about the cube from someone who actually worked on the show has been the highlight of my week, so thanks again!

take care!

roadblocks i've encountered so far in my planning out of my falsettos cube project:

- the two tiny little extra pieces tossed up to whizzer in march of the falsettos. do they fit into the original cube or are those just extra?

- how hollow is the cube? like i don't think it's filled completely because of the black hole in the cube once whizzer's gravestone is removed but it's not entirely hollow so??

- the little piece with a hinge on it that trina opens in making a home and gets three pillows from. what the fuck

- the cylinder piece (most notable when marvin punches the pillar in marvin hits trina). how did they fit a cylinder in that fucking cube

- nancy reagan. i know that the gray thing they stuck her on is probably not part of the cube, but you can't know for sure

- the camera angles. most of the moving around of components happens off screen and god i can't take it. that and the dark lighting. did not notice how dim falsettos is lit until now

- overall the quality of the proshot. like in a good way. the cuts and angles and camera movements really make for a better watching experience but trying to piece together the cube mentally using it has been hell. might try to find a slime tutorial recorded from the back of the theater to see if i could cross reference some moments

- act two doesn't really rebuild the cube, there's just a bunch of spare parts floating around. how do they fit together?!

- depth is not captured very well on camera. so unless i actively watch a piece get rotated i have no idea how thick anything is

- the cube is basically gone for a good chunk of the last half of act 2. help me

(side note i have gone through the entire proshot once. idk if i really want to spend another several hours scouring the musical for extra details, but i definitely still am very confused. it does not help that i struggle significantly to think in 3d for some reason?)

gonna try building a model in blender first (i have never used blender) to plan everything out before i actually start carving. will continue updating as i go

#falsettos #12 year old me would be so stoked #current me is so stoked

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

carpenter's boy

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

okay all the parts are cut up and have the first round of sanding/mod podge done and dried. only thing is i forgot how to put this shit back together. also i forgot to take a picture of the cube with the pencil markings and stuff for reference. so i'll be spending the next how many hours trying to solve my self made falsettos themed rubik's cube. some fun little scenes i recreated for now:

roadblocks i've encountered so far in my planning out of my falsettos cube project:

- the two tiny little extra pieces tossed up to whizzer in march of the falsettos. do they fit into the original cube or are those just extra?

- how hollow is the cube? like i don't think it's filled completely because of the black hole in the cube once whizzer's gravestone is removed but it's not entirely hollow so??

- the little piece with a hinge on it that trina opens in making a home and gets three pillows from. what the fuck

- the cylinder piece (most notable when marvin punches the pillar in marvin hits trina). how did they fit a cylinder in that fucking cube

- nancy reagan. i know that the gray thing they stuck her on is probably not part of the cube, but you can't know for sure

- the camera angles. most of the moving around of components happens off screen and god i can't take it. that and the dark lighting. did not notice how dim falsettos is lit until now

- overall the quality of the proshot. like in a good way. the cuts and angles and camera movements really make for a better watching experience but trying to piece together the cube mentally using it has been hell. might try to find a slime tutorial recorded from the back of the theater to see if i could cross reference some moments

- act two doesn't really rebuild the cube, there's just a bunch of spare parts floating around. how do they fit together?!

- depth is not captured very well on camera. so unless i actively watch a piece get rotated i have no idea how thick anything is

- the cube is basically gone for a good chunk of the last half of act 2. help me

(side note i have gone through the entire proshot once. idk if i really want to spend another several hours scouring the musical for extra details, but i definitely still am very confused. it does not help that i struggle significantly to think in 3d for some reason?)

gonna try building a model in blender first (i have never used blender) to plan everything out before i actually start carving. will continue updating as i go

#falsettos #this is the rough draft version so ignore its ugliness i still need to do the second layers of sand and mod podge #not to mention actually painting it #speaking of which i did not buy enough paint #but yeah 👍

[selfabsorbed-selfdeceived]

the. bottom. half. of. the. fourth. side.

oh my god okay like my cube is nowhere near perfect and i may or may not have taken some educated guesses and creative liberties when necessary but the bottom half of the back side is just straight up not shown in the entire proshot. when rotated, the depth isn't seen. plus marvin is in the way half the time. even when jason kicked apart the cube, there was still a layer behind the inner core we saw in my father's a homo. so now i'm stuck with this awkward lump of foam i have no idea what to do with. i might just skip down to act two and see how many of each shape there is, but that doesn't help me with depth. also i can't figure out the cylinders still. and whizzer's gravestone piece. good lord

roadblocks i've encountered so far in my planning out of my falsettos cube project:

- the two tiny little extra pieces tossed up to whizzer in march of the falsettos. do they fit into the original cube or are those just extra?

- how hollow is the cube? like i don't think it's filled completely because of the black hole in the cube once whizzer's gravestone is removed but it's not entirely hollow so??

- the little piece with a hinge on it that trina opens in making a home and gets three pillows from. what the fuck

- the cylinder piece (most notable when marvin punches the pillar in marvin hits trina). how did they fit a cylinder in that fucking cube

- nancy reagan. i know that the gray thing they stuck her on is probably not part of the cube, but you can't know for sure

- the camera angles. most of the moving around of components happens off screen and god i can't take it. that and the dark lighting. did not notice how dim falsettos is lit until now

- overall the quality of the proshot. like in a good way. the cuts and angles and camera movements really make for a better watching experience but trying to piece together the cube mentally using it has been hell. might try to find a slime tutorial recorded from the back of the theater to see if i could cross reference some moments

- act two doesn't really rebuild the cube, there's just a bunch of spare parts floating around. how do they fit together?!

- depth is not captured very well on camera. so unless i actively watch a piece get rotated i have no idea how thick anything is

- the cube is basically gone for a good chunk of the last half of act 2. help me

(side note i have gone through the entire proshot once. idk if i really want to spend another several hours scouring the musical for extra details, but i definitely still am very confused. it does not help that i struggle significantly to think in 3d for some reason?)

gonna try building a model in blender first (i have never used blender) to plan everything out before i actually start carving. will continue updating as i go

#falsettos #once i finish carving it should be all uphill from there #but i'm not done carving and am therefore still suffering #definitely need to retry this in the future