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sillyfanturtle · 22 hours
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Aurora Explosion in Alaska by scientist Vincent Ledvina
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sillyfanturtle · 2 days
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akihiko in the same room with the woman who has a massive crush on him and the man that is his on-again-off-again fuck buddy but his eyes are stuck looking at his band's bassist to the point that said woman was able to deduce akihiko's in love with said bassist
GET UP KAJI AKIHIKO?!
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sillyfanturtle · 6 days
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@3nigm4art
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sillyfanturtle · 7 days
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Take the test
You can only do 12 options in a poll so if you tie choose which one you prefer???
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sillyfanturtle · 9 days
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The Beast that Bothers
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sillyfanturtle · 13 days
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Thinking about how much Akihiko used to touch Haruki even back when they were friends, and how that suddenly had to stop when they had their falling out.
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Suddenly, Haruki couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him. Even when they tentatively rebuilt their friendship, it had changed so that Akihiko still had to keep his distance.
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Unfortunately for him, he also realized in those months that he was in love with Haruki.
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He did touch Haruki once, awkwardly and still hesitantly, when Ugetsu hurt him again when Akihiko told him he was leaving him for good. Akihiko must've been lonely, enough to all but beg Haruki to stay with him that night.
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It was clearly a moment of weakness though, because he didn't really touch Haruki again after that. He must've been itching to do so, all that time. When he confessed and asked for Haruki's permission to touch him, his hands probably trembled from more than just nerves.
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It must've been a relief to finally be able to touch Haruki again. The way he clung to Haruki once allowed, and continues to cling to him afterwards, makes one wonder how difficult those months of *nothing* had been for someone so into touching yet so touch-starved as Akihiko.
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sillyfanturtle · 13 days
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sillyfanturtle · 13 days
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sillyfanturtle · 14 days
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sillyfanturtle · 14 days
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~~Given sequel and what we've got so far~~
We've gotten only two(2) chapters of the sequel so far and I personally think, the stage for the next arc is already set.
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Given does follow a pattern in story-telling if you pay attention to it. And it does address one issue a couple (the main two couples) at a time meticulously.
The first arc was about RitsuMafu, and the plot was Mafuyu falling in love with Ritsuka and being forced to face his trauma from his ex's suicide and doing whatever was needed to move on from it, taking first steps towards healing.
Likewise the second arc was about AkiHaru, and the plot was Akihiko realising the extent of his feelings for Haruki and being forced to face his trauma of being in a longterm abusive relationship and doing whatever was needed to break free from the toxic cycle he was stuck in.
The third arc got a bit complicated with Hiiragi being mixed in the equation of RitsuMafu. Hiiragi introduced the problem that RitsuMafu were to face and got a subplot of his own (that's also still ongoing).
But essentially the third arc can be seen as divided in two parts the two parts that the two movies are covering. 1) 'Hiiragi_mix' as in the first part where Hiiragi (and Shizusumi) successfully did recreate the traumatic experience for Mafuyu again to face knowingly or unknowingly. And 2) 'to the sea' where RitsuMafu had to face that situation and prove the strength of their love and mettle of their characters to overcome the challenge.
But more importantly the main objective of that arc was Mafuyu getting full closure, not only from Yuki, but from the effects of trauma and grieving and the guilt that comes with it. As well as having to face the issues that traumatic experience gave him, as in his doubts about expressing himself, his doubts about his own worth as opposed to what he brings to table musically for Ritsuka, his hesitation of letting go of Yuki fully etc. These were all the issues that his previous relationship gave him. The unsurity of it all and the persistent feeling of fear of doing something wrong again with the everpresent feeling of perpetual shame and guilt for forgetting a person who for sure for a period of time he thought of as essential for his own existence. There's also been hints of his complex regarding Hiiragi specifically. Hiiragi is always being described as charismatic. Everyone thinks so. He has 'star quality' which Mafuyu probably fears(feared) he lacks. Yuki forming a band with Hiiragi wasn't easy for Mafuyu to take. Not in a toxic way, but in a deeply insecure way. We see him reacting oddly to Ritsuka praising Hiiragi in any capacity. Trying to not feel pressured by it, wanting more of Ritsuka's attention to himself. Literally fidgeting.
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Then the same Hiiragi's band won CAC against 'given' and right after that Ritsuka joined 'syh'.
To Mafuyu it probably felt like Ritsuka leaving the loser band and vocalist Mafuyu for the winner Hiiragi. Ritsuka admitted it himself, Hiiragi was cooler than he imagined. Hiiragi successfully intrigued Ritsuka too. And Ritsuka was won over by him because Mafuyu wasn't enough. He needed to sing, and he couldn't.
(And then they metaphorically did throw him in the sea too. It was awful but I digress 😑)
But anyway, all these issues, insecurities, the culmination of it ALL as well as all the stages of grieving for Mafuyu, they were all masterfully handled in the last arc. Or second RitsuMafu arc.
Now that brings us to the second AkiHaru arc and like it or not, just like how Mafuyu had to grieve properly and find closure from all his remnant issues from his previous relationship and childhood, Akihiko will also have to face the issues he is still carrying from his last relationship. The gaslighting that he endured, the misplaced guilt that he probably still feels, the fear of doing something wrong again to fuck it all up for himself and Haruki and probably the band too.
And believe it or not, we have already seen the seeds of it. Also, I personally think Ritsuka will be the catalyst of Akihiko's arc this time and we are gonna get the Ritsuka arc either mixed with Akihiko's one this time or right after.
Now let's see what we got thus far.
1) AkiHaru LDR. Akihiko's ring and them living separately even in Tokyo as well as Akihiko's little show of flirtation to get Haruki flustered.
All of these point to something that I'm sure most of the fandom is vaguely aware of but can't put their finger on surely.
I personally think these point to the issues Akihiko brought from his experience of being the victim in an abusive relationship.
LDR is simply him choosing to not sacrifice his music for the sake of his relationship. He learnt from his previous relationship that that's not the way he gets to retain himself much less his relationship.
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The ring is the symbol of his clinginess, or his innate urge to belong. To belong to someone. But with that also comes his fear of binding Haruki unfairly to himself. His need to be clingy to Haruki is constantly at odds with his fear of somehow being codependent or worse still, making Haruki codependent on him. So he himself is donning a ring and showing it off but he doesn't want Haruki to, especially if Haruki doesn't by his own accord. Haruki didn't show him his own need to belong to Akihiko, he simply asked, (with a strange look on his face too if I may add) if he should also wear a ring, and Akihiko declined. No matter how dramatic he tried to make himself sound to Mafuyu that's the root cause of it.
Akihiko living separately even when in Tokyo too also probably comes from the same fear and deep rooted issues. He was at the receiving end of such a relationship once and it was excruciatingly painful for him. His ex leaving the country for months and then coming back to only have sex for a few days with him(and then kicking him out but he had been gaslighted to think all of those as his faults so we no talk about it yet) while he was stuck in a place full of memories and yearning for those times to come back again and feel the love and happiness...he doesn't want any of those to happen to Haruki. He knows living alone is better than living with memories.
So on one hand he is desperate to bind himself to Haruki, donning the ring, going broke just to see Haruki every week, still bringing Haruki coffee, on the other hand, he is trying to set Haruki as free as he possibly can. Living separately, not making him wear the ring.
He is also still an insecure jealous mess when it comes to Haruki. It started with the second chapter of given and it's still going on. Akihiko wants Haruki's attention to himself all the time. He also needs to know that he still is desirable to Haruki and that comes from his abandonment issues. His parents as far as he is concerned didn't want him the moment he became a liability and don't even let me start on his ex. So being able to make Haruki flustered still is important to him. the assurance that he is still needed and desired and it's not all been just a whim on Haruki's part, or if it were indeed a whim, it's still there as strong as it was the first day, Akihiko needs to be reassured of it from time to time.
In contrast, I know that most of the fandom will disagree with me but, Haruki's issues are nonconsequential at this point. Is he probably sad to see Aki go? He obviously is. He also is possessive with his 'insect repellent' comment and seeing Akihiko instantly changes his whole demeanor. But Haruki is essentially in his essence this chapter. Thinking and planning and working. Missing Akihiko is inevitable but I don't think it's death sentence for Haruki. A large part of what Haruki possibly feels in this situation we see from Ritsuka's POV which is a trick Kizu uses frequently to mislead readers. Ritsuka is projecting high key. He and Haruki are fundamentally different. So he should be treated as an unreliable narrator here.
I think the difference between how Ritsuka and Haruki work is that Ritsuka can be at ease knowing that Mafuyu is at home safe and he himself has Mafuyu to come back to while he goes work outside forgetting everything in the world.
But for Haruki, he considers himself to be the home and can wait for Akihiko to come back to him indefinitely as long as there's a promise of him coming back.
Which brings us to the issues of RitsuMafu or more specifically Ritsuka that's been shown in this chapter.
So the issue with 2) Ritsuka is that he has no issues. I know there are many fans who want Ritsuka to breakdown or cry etc but the truth is that Ritsuka has no problem except for his own tyrant king workaholic self.
In previous arc we did get some covers that made us question about Ritsuka's mental state. 👇🏼 The main one being the left one but the right one too.
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It's more been the words written on the left cover that were vaguely worrying. For the first time we saw him thinking about Yuki and the fact that he had been a big part of Mafuyu's life. And I understand some fans being disappointed that we didn't see him ponder on it again.
But the truth is, Ritsuka is 1) too healthy an individual by nature and by nurture to constantly be worrying about things that he can't control. He'll always find a way to cope healthily whatever the outside world throws at him and he did find a way to get closure from Yuki the last arc, it was to help everyone Yuki left behind get closure from him. 2) If he really indeed has to confront Yuki then it'll come after he has worked on his own issues so we'll have to wait and see if that happens ever.
Now that being said Ritsuka also does have to confront and control his own self. As they say, even the best things can be too much. And Ritsuka always had been and right now (after ten years period) especially is under the danger of being too much. For himself and for others.
To put it simply, he is too good. Thinking of everyone and how to make them reach their full potential and thus pressuring himself and occasionally others especially the ones he loves.
This started ten years ago though. The inferiority complex of 'given' being thought of as inferior to 'syh', the guilt he felt leaving his own band to play for the rival band.
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As well as his need to commit himself fully to things that he has committed once and his continuous need to challenge himself which doesn't let him go easy on himself a bit. His need to fix everything, every situation and his ability to do so ends up making him cornered more and more and it's been piling up.
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There's also this thing that he is biased about 'given'. He considers it his 'own' band, while he feels responsible for 'syh' and isn't one to shrink from his responsibilities. He gives his 100% to make Hiiragi shine, he specifically does so because he knows Hiiragi's potential.
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But that doesn't stop him from feeling guilt towards his own band and especially mafuyu.
Now here's the thing, Hiiragi is syh's vocalist while Mafuyu is Given's. And syh's style is populist style, it's not about quality, it's about taste and syh and Hiiragi appeals to public taste more.
In Ritsuka's own words, they are 'flashier' than 'given'.
And here comes the conflict for Ritsuka. He has truly no one else to blame for but himself. He has made Hiiragi a star and now he wants the same fame for his beloved aka Mafuyu. That's what they were arguing about.
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He wants Mafuyu and 'given' to become even more popular. It's literally the conflict of interest and he is fighting himself on both sides.
Which brings us to Mafuyu at last. Mafuyu isn't buying this. And that's deeply satisfying and comforting. Mafuyu who once was scared of Hiiragi 'stealing' Ritsuka's attention, or being too charismatic now wants no part in competing with him. He isn't scared of Hiiragi's brightness anymore and is deeply secured in Ritsuka's affection to the point where he actively is fighting with Ritsuka about music and says that he doesn't need to stand out simply because it's not Given's style. It'll sound fake and fabricated he says. And I agree.
I think this is what Ritsuka's arc is gonna be about, at least for now. He's been putting himself on spot too much, he once had this realisation that just because something is popular with masses, it doesn't mean it sucks contrary to pretentious intellectual beliefs. All because of syh and Hiiragi.
He'll have to come back to his senses now and realise that on the other hand popularity isn't and can never be the criteria on how you create art. Given's style is simply different from what appeals to mass but that's what makes given unique.
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sillyfanturtle · 15 days
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sometimes i just gotta think about akihiko waking up and seeing haruki in the kitchen first thing in the morning while he was staying at haruki's apartment cz looking at haruki's apartment layout, the couch akihiko sleeps at is directly facing the kitchen and how much akihiko must have stared at haruki cooking, listening to music with his headphones, and how the first thing he sees as he open his eyes is haruki
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sillyfanturtle · 20 days
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Your daily dose of cat memes
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sillyfanturtle · 20 days
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I went through the code and saved the images for the boop paws.
Save and share to boop your people later.
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sillyfanturtle · 23 days
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sillyfanturtle · 23 days
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Everyone's favourite musical lads
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sillyfanturtle · 27 days
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But the complexity and the grey lie not in the boop, but what you do with the boop once you have it.
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sillyfanturtle · 27 days
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IM NOT READYYYYYY
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