#[ i love having ppl stay w/ me ]

[lemongogo]

i just like his long hair ok 🧎

#vash #trigun #trigun maximum #my art #kind of sillay.. #artist who only draws solid bgs sweating @ having 2 set smth under him #Nyways . at first i was like this is eriks but like . vash coat #but no.i think i wouldve drawn eriks diff .. he doesnt . hmm. back 2 the drawing board ppl #can we talk ab lina cutting his hair fr though. SWEETEST GESTURE EVERRRRR (hlding back my tears) whn he hugged her after . stop #or maybe tht was before idr HAJAHAHAHAHAHHAH #anyways this guy shldve grown it out after . #I LOVEE WHN HE PUTS HIS HAIR IN A PONYTAIL ITS SOOOO CUTEEEE #smth smth me and my characters w all their long hair #<the way i refuse 2 draw knives w/o it HAJAHHAHAHAHAHAH #idk i say that but i like nicks choppy haircut . hm.idk . and meryl i like her hair short too #legatos is staying short on principle i wouldnt do that to him☝️ #every1 else .. dominique . elendira . zazie . millie . livio razlo.. SINGLE FILE LINEE

[potatobugz]

its like this, basically

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #I THINK! MAYBE! I HAVE NO SELF CONFIDENCE #BUT UR GONNA LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE ANYWAYS. SANEMI DOESNT HATE GENYA!!!!! #yes he is mean to genya no im not saying its justified in any way #hes doing it ON PURPOSE he is trying 2 DRIVE GENYA AWAY #he wants genya to stay as far away from the demon slayers as possible bc he knows how dangerous it is #and this is his way of trying 2 protect him!!!!!!! #because genya is his ONLY REMAINING FAMILY MEMBER !!!!!!!!!!! #his actions are not GOOD but it does annoy me when ppl make him torment genya for shits and giggles #like he would not do that #you understand #anyways i love drawing these 2 so so much especially genya oh my god #genyas blank. vacant. wide eyed stare is so important 2 me i love drawing him furever and ever #ALSO IN LOVE W THE “FREAKISHLY TALL” GENYA HC #LIKE ITS NOT MADE OBVIOUS IN THIS DRAWING BUT. ough. so good. bean pole #i want to pat him on the head gently #sanemi has the vibe of like a stressed out chihuahua #demon slayer tier list how likely is it for each character to bite someone #ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEB #its ironic then that the whole reason genya joined the demon slayer corps in the first place was bc #he wanted to become strong like his brother. to get his attention #hey wanna see how hard i can cryFFSSSSSHHHHHWWWGGGGHHJJJJ #potatart #sanemi shinaguzawa #genya shinazugawa #GIRL I FORGOT TAGS </3

[ginalinettiofficial]

played the game ok boomer at my family party today, ended up explaining to a room of ~20 of my relatives what fanfiction is so they could understand the question, “in fanfiction, what does AU stand for?”. and then the card’s definition of “AU” was wrong so i also had to get into the concept of “canon”.

can u believe. in front of my whole family. a room full of people, aged 3 to 80. all staring at me intently as i explain the difference between an alternate universe and canon divergence. at one point my mom was like “daina i think we get it” and a cousin and two aunts were like “wait no we’re interested please continue” and i had to say to my own mother in front of god and my i am kenough sweatshirt “sorry but unlike you the rest of them DON’T have to listen to me talk about fanfiction on the regular”. my uncle is a retired judge. my one cousin worked for the federal government in a job that was so classified that for years he literally couldn’t legally tell us about ANYTHING he was working on. and today those men sat and patiently listened to me define “coffee shop AU”.

also, not one, not two, but THREE of the answers for the young folks, i knew solely because they were either plot points on stranger things or they were things i found out whilst reading stranger things fanfics. and then i was the only person in our age bracket (10 people, ranging from ages 9 to 42) that knew who anne rice was, and had to explain yet again that the reason i had this knowledge was because… fanfic.

it was surreal. also my aunt, aged 68, may or may not begin attempting to read fanfic now because, according to her, “there are so many stories where there are these small side characters and i’d just KILL to hear their backstory or like what was going through their minds during the main action!” i’m very happy for her. today was wild.

#d speaks #the things i knew because of stranger things: who ripped a bats head off on stage. what year the challenger exploded. the ghostbusters theme #in case ur curious the way the game worked is there was a set of questions for people born pre 1980 and a set of questions for people born #post 1980 and you split into the two teams and you take turns reading trivia questions to each other #the questions for the young ppl were things like above - who wrote interview w a vampire #what year did the challenger explode. who are the fab four. true or false elvis had a twin. #the questions for the old people were like: what does BAE stand for. in fanfiction what’s an AU. who won the first american idol. #it was a weird game but very educational #and funny to play with my little cousins because as i said anywhere from 2-4 of them are gen alpha depending on how u define it #so it was very interesting to see what sorts of things have been passed down culturally and what sorts of things stayed solely in their time #it was sort of reminiscent of are you smarter than a fifth grader in some ways #also no one asked but. the teams were: #old team: 4 solid boomers. 3 boomer/gen x cuspers. 3 gen x’ers. #young team: 2 xennial cusps. 2 millennials. 1 zillennial cusp. 1 zoomer. 2 zalpha cusp. 2 gen alphas #and then also our 3 year old cousin who technically is gen alpha but he was more moral support than anything you understand #though at one point he DID declare that he wanted to play - picked up a card and ‘read’: #‘santa comes he eats the milk and cookies. poop goes in the potty’ in the EXACT cadence of someone asking a trivia question lmfao #love that kid. he also told me a few knock knock jokes #mainly they were like. knock knock. who’s there. candy cane. candy cane who. candy cane on your head!!!!!!!! #a true comedic genius that boy

[pinkysberg]

i want to compile a list of the most bizarre statements and conflict ive seen in the red dead community on the cursed clock app. bc it's hell and i need someone to understand pls.

it is ridiculous to be sad about rdr2 as arthur morgan is a fictional character.

because it is 1899, and the concept of mental illness and trauma is unexplored, traumatizing events (i.e. the storm and ship wreck following the bank mission) would not have impact on the psychological health of characters.

Real Quote: so what? because he could have drowned and died it's trauma all of the sudden?

characters like charles smith or sadie adler are "trying to be the main character" because they are integral to the plot of the game. (this apparently has nothing to do with the fact they are not white men. anyways.)

shipping jovier is incestuous ?

if you think about it micah was actually a good guy because he ended the van der linde gang (ignore the part where he starts his own gang that's way worse and then re-teams up with dutch later)

all the characters are straight because it's 1899 and they're all cowboys (a famously heterosexual profession, of course)

arthur morgan cannot be bisexual because he had a son and has had only "female romantic partners". (unsure what their working definition for bisexual is)

milton is invincible to criticism because he "is just doing his job" (this is obviously not a core criticism of the red dead redemption franchise)

for some reason bill is a likeable and defensible character while javier is satan's reincarnate and one might argue, based on how he's discussed, is the main antagonist of RDR1. wonder what that's about.

it is feminine to change arthur's appearance in literally any capacity. (giving him any hair cut is a bastardization of his character)

discussing headcanons - or having them at all, period - is disrespectful to the creators of the source material. (their personal opinions and feelings, however, aren't headcanons, they're just objectively true statements about the game)

this is everything i could think of off the top of my head without even looking. its incessant.

#i think it's largely a symptom of ppl who have never engaged with fandom seeing it on their fyp without context #which i acknowledge can be strange if you've never seen it before but like #it's been well over a decade for me so seeing such ridiculous points of view on how to engage w fan media is WILD #ive never seen sm people w disdain for media analysis and fan culture who actively engage w the content before #it's exhausting in ever measure #but i love attention so i stay #rdr2

[airbenderedacted]

So who’s your favorite character in Wander Over Yonder? And what’s your fav ship(s)?

Oh, I love playing this guessing game!! ♡ ～('▽^人) ✨

Favorite character? Well...

[🎨📺]

As for ships, I wouldn't exactlyy say I ship anything in this show tbch, but I'd say I'm especially fond of Sylava, in a strictly fanon kinda way.

#Wander Over Yonder #Lord Dominator #woy is funny bc the core four are all so shippable but nothing rlly does it for me. i think nearly all possible pairs there have some charm #when considering *all five* of the mains not a whole lot changes bc dominator's a lesbian and sylvia is the only other main who isn't a dud #(i'm not a pr.o.shi.pper so bigoted type stuff grosses me out when it comes to shipping. we don't go there eugyhgfghhs) #tbcch i'm of the firm belief that lord dominator shouldnt be shipped with anyone in a srs sense. like as far as staying true to canon goes #she's made it extremely clear that she's not into that kinda stuff *and* that she's wAy too horrible for any kinda relationships anyway #but when it comes to lighthearted silly fanon stuff (or any degree of au stuff where *GASP* D isn't a demon & they Work) sylava makea me :) #(in whatever way ppl wanna imagine them. i'm partial to ''yes homo no romo'' qpr type goodness w/ them but i love seeing Everyone's takes!! #partially bc it's nice to see people actually. care. about what dom is and is not about (sexuality-wise). which is THE BARE MINIMUM but wel #a lot of people Do Not do that! sadly sexism and homophobia exist and it seeps into a lotta things in a lotta small ways and *sobs* #SO YEAH IT'S NICE TO SEE. NOT THAT. it's nice to see as a light shining through the darkness that is the internet & 2010s show fandoms sks #ah & partially bc sylava is like. literally the only ship ever kinda-sorta-teased in the show in a way that wasn't just played for jokes #which i think gives us neat things to work with when it comes to the whole ''what if'' kinda stuff- so!!! yea i just think it's neat :] #in both an ''in another life...'' not-so-hypothetical chemistry kinda way AND in an 'im a real stickler for Canon Goodness' kinda way too #haha #as for other ships i'm especially partial to... mmmmm.. 🤔 #deathglare in the context of hater learning to cherish & appreciate peepers and treat him RIGHT makes me happy. i like that :) #and skeleton dance is always fun!!!! a real delight both on and off the screen hehah #most everything else makes me go ''oh cool. yea that's cute.'' 👍 #ships involving minor characters are pretty take it or leave it. i dont think there's any i have any strong feelings about #except ig that it was pretty sweet when people were shipping lord hater & ripov. tbh i like how many ships people came up with w/ her #that was really swag. she was a fun character!!

[badolmen]

Incredibly frustrated by how condescendingly jaded my uncle can be but I’m being so brave about it <- not blowing him up with my mind even though I want to

#ra speaks #personal #I love him. but my dude. bruh. #made a comment abt how I should try working/volunteering w the homeless #after I commented on his tirade abt homeless ppl ‘gaming the system’ by getting arrested in the winter #to have somewhere warm w food to stay like ‘why are we not talking about how fucked it is that the homeless will fucking die if they don’t? #like sir. buddy. you do remember that I grew up on food stamp right? I have gone to a food bank as a recipient before. #I’ve volunteered at shelters and soup kitchens before. I know addicts and homeless people in town. #this isn’t some naive wide eyed college socialist ‘those poor homeless people are saints’ schitck #this is a tired university food pantry anarchist ‘aren’t you fucking tired of being cruel to people who make the best o thr circumstances?’ #sorry you can no longer see the divine value of every human life and must endure the tragedy #of considering everyone not to your standard a lost cause. #some of us see the work to be done and will be doing it instead of wallowing in hate and pity. #shut up and get to work like the rest of us if you hate it so much. #it’s just like *strangled him* you see me twice a year dude I DO WORK AT A SOUP KITCHEN YOU IDIOT #I just don’t talk abt it because it’s just something I do sorry I thought making acts of charity your whole personality #was vain and frowned upon in christian society??? #this makes my plans to ditch academia and go into fulltime aid work feel all the more. idk vindicated??? #that’s not the right word but you get it. uncle t I love you but you know fuck all and have hardened your heart to the world. #god break that heart of stone you have and bless you with love for your fellow man. or whatever. #for context this convo happened like two years ago but I saw him last week and in light of recent personal revelations I’ve remembered it #core memory locked in ‘are you for fucking real uncle t?’ #vocational woes

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries

[tohokuu]

my bestfriend cussing me out in the gc bc she thinks i want her man was the most devastating event of my night. especially after i do all that i can for her and she still thinks i want her man ?? especially after i told her i was really interested in someone right now 💀💀

and my boss talking shit abt me w her ?? girl bye.

#there isn’t a thing i don’t do for that girl #her dad didn’t go to her graduation so i did #i brought her favorite flowers #got chewed out for staying out too long #brought her mom w me bc she didn’t have a ride #pick up her calls every time she called no matter how busy i was #reassuring her in her relationship constantly whenever she needed it #supporting her throughout her journey at the gym #telling her she’s one of the most beautiful ppl i’ve seen #every single fucking day #but no. LOL. #she’s always picking at my personality and how i’m a bad person #i don’t do well in relationships bc it’s fucking hard to love someone after being hurt before #so all my relationships since that one relationship #i have screwed up tremendously because i don’t know how to handle it #i have a difficult time having healthy relationships #and she will come at me and say #‘why are you proud of being toxic?’ #i never said that. #i’m proud of being confident and not letting men get to me #but i’m not proud of my inability to handle a healthy relationship #it’s genuinely hard for me and i really don’t know how to fix my habits #i try my best and do what’s right but it always falls short #and she sees that as me being a bad person #and then last night she told me #‘go worry about fixing that toxic ass personality of yours #like ok. #i’d never in a million years take your personal issues and use them against you #but thanks #good to know.

[kuiinncedes]

what do u meannnnnnn i'm abt to be post college graduation 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

#apparnelty some family friends coming to my graudation #bc ig i'm the first in the generation to graduate or whatever the fuck #and like whatever that's fine but ffs i wish they would've come to my show instead #that i co directed and literally love sos o so oso sosososoososooo much #so so so proud of that #i don't give a shit abt my graduation tbh lmfao TT #so it lowkey doesn't mean much to me that they want to come to my graduation ;-; #it would've meant so fucking much if i knew they would be able to come #and want to see that and i could like suggest hey instead come see this show LMAO #like it probably wouldn't have happened but whatever #also just like i have like no motivation and no interest in stats at this point lmfao #ALSO bc these ppl all gonna be fucking talking abotu and asking abt what i'm doing after #I DON'T KNOWWWWW what i'm fucking doingggggggg #i alr get enough talk from my mom abt how i'm not applying to enough jobs #i dont need family friends to also be asking me and my answer just being ha idk #i'm fucking staying at college tho like on campus bc i'm a fucking loser and don't want to move on #like not rly. i'm kinda trying to see it as like #the alternative would've been me at home being a loser lol #and that would've been so annoying and even if this isn't the 'right' thing to do or most traditional #at least i'm choosing to do it ig #and i get to stay in this club w my bestestestestest friends for another yr #idc if i'm like not moving on when i should LOL too bad for me that's a future problem #and also kinda figure out this weird right after college time period w my friend who i'm rooming with #ok. slay that was. acool turnaround from me lmfao just . yeah ok that's the positive side ig lmao #anyway i also dont give a shit about graduation bc i hate my university rn lmfao :) and the world is burning down #jeanne talks #i am . procrastinating #imagine knowing what the fuck i learned in this class this whole semester #ugh literally two group projects to end on and two of the most boring annoying group project experiences i've had LMAO

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[jobazzle]

gotta love as soon as ttpd dropped my tiktok fyp was just full of ppl being like "the album is too long", "the lyrics are too wordy", "she needs to stop working with jack", "she just tried to out somebody", "i can't listen to this song bc i hate the person she wrote it about", "why is she writing songs about things that happened years ago", "this lyric is problematic" PLS i need to find my way back to the side of POSITIVITY and ENJOYMENT

#staying on tumblr where ppl are being sane and rational w their positive (and negative!) thoughts on the album #like. at this point i BARELY understand the album so how do all these ppl have so much negative to say???? #i think ppl love to feel superior for not liking popular things and feeling like a contrarian but I AM TIRED #critiquing the album is fine but like. why is it ALL IM SEEING ON THERE. HOW COULD THE TIKTOK ALGORITHM DO THAT TO ME #personal

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls #okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases #one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes #''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it'' #so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars #and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get- #-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth #and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand) #but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude- #-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl #anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it- #-from like prayers #so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you'' #so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore #but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since- #-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it #for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid- #-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo- #-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3 #i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted- #-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives #like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them #or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings #or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each- #-other anyways #i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life- #-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in #i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's #-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6

[faithisland]

fuck man it's so fucking frustrating how I'd probably love to clean and organize if i were ablebodied (or even just didn't have my specific conditions but still the nd traits)

I just can't be moving my head around like crazy. walking while moving my arms, reaching my arms down and immediately up, lowering my head to the ground to reach something and then standing back up, having no momentary neck support at any time, those are the worst for me. I would do any task, honestly. I just feel so fucking trash every time I do these kinds of things. standing is excruciating, moving my arms while doing it literally affects my consciousness to the point where I lose track of what I'm doing (and not in the typical adhd way).

as long as I can stay stationary, particularly partially lounging, I am capable of rational, logical thought. I can think through long term consequences, remember the basic physics of the universe, generally function like I am not an alien to this dimension.

#i literally drop things bc i forget im holdinf them #or i think that idk it wont drop ljke im a fuxking astronaut #i slam into things bc i forget i have a physical form #literally being up and movinf around makes my brain SO dissociated and im SO dizzy and my vision is wonky and i can barely focus on staying #up right #but i can do things like go for walks #its all about how much i move my arms and get up and down #so badically i seem like im faking it🫥 #i can do 'fun' things but not work #not paying attention to the faxt that i dont much like the activities im doint #i do them to stay alive and make others happy #and genuinely i am incapable of what would make me happy #WHICH IS WORK #GENUINELY #my life is miserable BECAUSE i cant clean or move around #i hate feeling like i contribute nothing to the ppl i love #i hate not being organized #and i HATE not working so so so so so much #the sad fact is that i just really cant work #i have to somehow get better #even though no one knows whats wrong w me or believes im genion3ly experiencing it #i dont have seizures apparently its normal to collapse and go into spasms w ur eyes rolled back in your head. #apparently thats normal #apparently its fine to hallucinate my whole life and have fainting spells and confusion and disorientation and feel sensations as other thin #gs #thats kusy notmal and not indicitive of ANY neurological priblem #so i should shut up and go away and get some CBT about it #i jusy dont fucking know whatcyh3 fuck i am supposed to do #what am i supposed to do to be able to work

[skunkg1rll]

.

#maybe im meant to be alone forever #maybe im not meant for friendship or love or closeness #i havent had a friend in 10yrs #and when i did have friends....... let's just say no one has ever actually loved me or cared for me #maybe im just mean to be a freak who's always on her own #maybe the only friends i can make are guys who say the fantasize abt raping me and then stop talking to me when they lose interest #im clearly not ever worth of real friendship bc no one ever fucking likes me nd no one ever stays #im never worth to get to know or be cared about #i mean like lmao most ppl i talk to i have to sexualize myself in order for them to even talk 2 me :p #it's whatever but #fuck if i dont get so jealous seeing girls being friends w eo and hanging out and loving eo #i will never have that #i'll never get to have close girl friends nd be besties nd trust them or have them care for me #lol #all i have when im lonely is that blog where i whenever im lonely can chat w some guy #sure they dont care abt me nd barely listens but at least theyre always there for me when im alone :p