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jjmaebank · 4 years

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Amnesia - JJ Maybank

a/n: this is based off the classic song Amnesia by 5sos, I'm sorry but I'm acc tempted to write so many more purely based on 5sos songs cuz there r so many GEMS. this one’s just a classic and this album reminds me of my childhood jfskk

LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING (if you want lol)

Flashbacks are in italics!!

warnings: sad :((

Words: 2.8k

[GIF NOT MINE CREDIT TO OWNER]

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

JJ would drive by the beach every day just to get a glimpse at your special spot through the car window. When you first left he would sit there for hours, running his fingers through the sand that the two of you would lie on as you stared at the stars. He would sit there for hours hoping that maybe if he stayed there long enough you would appear next to him. He would sit there remembering the countless times you spent getting wasted and talking about stupid things.

“Don’t you think that there are enough cows in the world for them to coordinate a mass uprising against the meat industry?” You asked as you stared up at the star scattered sky.

JJ chuckled as he stared at you with absolute adoration.

“Babe, cows aren’t humans...they can’t coordinate a global rebellion,” he laughed, his eyes never leaving your face as you scrunched up your nose in protest.

“But they did it in Animal Farm,” you pouted, the alcohol had really clouded your logic.

“What the hell is Animal Farm?” JJ asked, still smiling at your passion for social justice.

“Oh, I forgot you don’t read,” you teased, turning your head to meet his gaze.

JJ rolled his eyes and began to tickle you in response causing you to erupt into fits of giggles.

“Why would I read when I have you to give me in depth summaries of every book in the world,” he smirked, continuing to tickle you.

Your laughter. It hurt him to even remember the sound, but every time he cracked a joke with the pogues he wished he could hear it again. He wished he could watch the way your dimples showed and your eyes crinkled as you burst into a fit of laugher. He wished he could watch the way one of his jokes sent you into hysterics to the point you were holding your stomach, to the point you were out of breath. But he also wished he could forget.

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted.

Your last kiss. It was breathtaking. You’d spent the whole day out on the water with the pogues, swimming, snorkelling, soaking up the sun. JJ remembered this day as one of the most epic days of pogue history; it was the last time you were all together as one, as one big happy family. He remembered the overwhelming feeling of pride he had as he watched you beat Pope in a shotgunning challenge.

“That’s my girl!” He yelled as you downed the beer and smashed the can down on the boat as Pope continued struggling with his.

You smiled and hopped on his lap, giving him a quick peck as you celebrated being the coolest girlfriend anyone could ever have.

You were his soulmate, or that’s what it felt like, for him at least.

He remembered walking you back to your house on The Cut that night, your fingers interlaced as your hands swung with your steps.

“Today was amazing,” you smiled, masking a sadness that JJ hadn’t noticed at the time.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” JJ smiled, tracing small patterns on your right cheek with his thumb.

You leaned into his touch, knowing it would be one of the last you experienced, but you didn’t want to spoil this perfect moment.

JJ leaned in, connecting his lips with yours in a soft yet passionate kiss. But you immediately grabbed him and brought him closer, increasing the intensity of the kiss knowing it might be your last. Your lips tasted like your strawberry flavoured lip balm, but with a slightly salty tang from the sea, and he loved it.

Your lips glided against each other in such harmony it was as if everything about the two of you was meant to be. Your fingers ran through his locks of blonde hair, tugging at the nape of his neck. He responded by hooking his fingers in the loops of your jean shorts and pulling you against him.

Eventually, you pushed yourself away from him gently and smiled.

“Goodnight, babe,” you smiled.

“I love you (Y/N),” JJ whispered into your hair as he pulled you in for a hug, not knowing that his words had almost made you cry into his shirt.

“I love you too, JJ Maybank,” you responded, knowing it would probably be the last time he believed you when you said it.

And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?

It had been a year; a whole year since you’d left. You’d come back to the Outer Banks a few times during the holidays to visit your parents, but you’d never once gone to see him. You had a new boyfriend. JJ had seen him a few times the one time you brought him home with you. He knew he was biased but he didn't like the look of him, he reminded him of Rafe Cameron and he couldn't comprehend why you’d done what you did just to end up with him.

JJ would watch you from afar, making awkward eye contact whenever you ran into him at The Wreck, but neither of you had the courage to say anything. It had been a year but JJ could still read your emotions from a mile away. You looked lonely, abandoned, lost. At least that was what he kept telling himself like a mantra to stop him from breaking down or punching something every time he saw you.

However, he would ask Kie how you were every time you left and she would be brutally honest and tell him you seemed like you were doing fine. And every time he heard those words it would break him a little bit more.

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you? Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I’m not fine at all.

JJ remembered the first time he heard him talk to you like that, like you were nothing. You’d accidentally spilt your drink on him at the Wreck and you’d started laughing about it as you would’ve with JJ.

“What the fuck!” He yelled.

“Babe, it’s just soda,” you giggled.

“Yeah and it’s gonna stain my new fucking shirt,” he growled, “god you’re so fucking clumsy.”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, but JJ knew that his words had more effect than you lead on.

JJ had stood up from his chair to go confront the asshole but John B grabbed him by his shirt and sat him back down.

“Don’t, JJ...” John B said sadly, knowing it hurt his best friend to see the girl he loved with someone else, but he knew that if he involved himself with you right now it would only hurt him more.

JJ would lay in his bed and wonder how it was possible that you could be so...normal, so okay, so fine. It made his heart ache as he realised what the two of you had must have been a complete and utter lie. There was no way you could just forget about what the two of you had unless it never meant anything to you in the first place.

He would go through periods of hating you, punching the walls in his room and screaming as he convinced himself you’d lied to him the whole time. His life at home hadn't got any better, but at least he could say his father’s punches didn't hurt anymore. The pain was nothing compared to the hole you’d left in his heart. He would take a thousand beatings if it meant he could have you back. But you were fine, and he was far from it.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving I remember the make-up running down your face And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them Like every single wish we ever made

JJ would replay the moment you left over and over again, trying to fathom how you could have done such a thing to him, the person you claimed to love most.

JJ heard a knock at his door. His dad wasn’t home, but he could come back at any moment, so naturally he was concerned as to why anyone would come see him when he was the one trying to escape this household.

“(Y/N)?” JJ asked, confused as to why you were stood on his porch. “What are you doing here? You know it’s not safe.”

The concern that laced his voice made your heart break as you dreaded what was about to escape your mouth.

“We need to talk...” you replied sadly.

JJ’s heart rate went up. Those words never lead to anything good. He observed your facial expression but you were stoic, the only hint to how distraught you were being the faint dark circles under your eyes that showed you hadn't slept. And you hadn’t. Not a wink.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” JJ asked, the concern in his voice even more evident, except his concern had shifted from your safety to whatever you were about to tell him.

“I-I have to tell you something,” you confessed.

JJ ushered you into his room and sat you down on the edge of his bed, sitting down by your side.

“What is it? You can tell me anything,” JJ continued, being the loving boyfriend that he was.

He had no idea what was coming for him.

“I’m...I’m leaving, JJ,” you sighed, your voice shaking as you feared his response. He tended to lash out when his emotions got the best of him.

“Leaving? What do you mean? Like for a bit?” JJ spouted questions, hope still laced in his voice.

“No, JJ...for quite a while,” you said, the tears that you were holding back finally escaping.

JJ’s eyes widened, his hands balled up into fists.

“W-what?” He choked, tears of his own brimmed his eyes.

“I got this amazing opportunity to study in Europe,” you continued. “I know I’d planned on going to UNC Chapel Hill so I’d be closer to home but I applied for their semester abroad programme not thinking I’d actually get it.”

At this point you were speaking too fast for JJ to even comprehend what you were saying. In fact, he wouldn't have been able to even if you’d spoken slowly.

“A semester, that’s not long?” JJ asked, some hope resurfacing.

“I know and that’s why I applied for a semester but they said they can only offer me the year abroad programme...” you explained, crushing his remaining hope.

“And you’re taking it?” JJ asked angrily, the skin on his knuckles going white from how hard he was clenching his fists.

“J...I have to...you know it’s my dream to study in Paris,” you said, going to rest your hand on his.

He pulled away from your touch instantly, causing your heart to sink.

“How long have you known?” He asked, looking down at the floor.

“Not that lon-” you started before JJ stood up angrily.

“How goddamn long, (Y/N)!” He yelled, looking down at you.

“3 months,” you whispered, letting another tear fall down your cheek.

All you wanted in this moment was for JJ to wipe your tears gently and caress you, hold you, but he couldn't even look at you right now, let alone touch you.

“3 fucking months?!” He yelled, his rage consuming him and anger clouding his vision.

He immediately turned to his wall and punched it with all his force causing a deafening cracking noise.

“JJ your hand!” You exclaimed as you stood up, knowing that was the sound of a bone or two breaking.

“I don't give a shit about my hand right now, (Y/N)!” He turned around to face you.

His eyes had gone dark and his lip was trembling. You did this, and you hated yourself for it.

“How could you keep this from me for 3 months?” JJ’s voice cracked, his own tears finally escaping.

You went to wipe them but again, he flinched away from your touch.

“I wanted this summer to be great, epic even! And it was, JJ it was... like yesterday on the boat, that was one of the best days of my life! I didn’t want it to be ruined by the fact I was leaving,” you cried, your mascara starting to run down your face.

“But it was all a fucking lie, (Y/N)! You do realise that right?” JJ continued shouting, this time tugging at his hair angrily as he paced around his room. It broke you to see him like this but you were the only one to blame.

“Don’t say that J...that’s not true...”

“You don’t get to say that! You knew you were spending your last moments with us, with me. I didn’t!” He yelled, glaring at you. And for the first time ever he looked at you with what looked like resentment, hate.

“Did you just expect me to be fine with this, with you just dropping this on me out of the blue?” He continued.

“No, I didn’t,” you whispered, “but I didn’t want our last summer to have an expiration date on it you know...”

“That is so unbelievably selfish, (Y/N),” JJ stated, his words cutting like knives.

“You’re fucking SELFISH,” he continued, causing more tears to pour down your face.

“JJ please don’t say that...I did this for us, so you could remember us happily!” You sobbed.

“Well you did an excellent job at that, well done,” JJ laughed sarcastically, clapping his hands in a fake applause, “because this isn’t sad at all right?!”

“J-” you started, your whole body shaking at this point.

“No,” he said, “just get out.”

“What?” You whispered, looking at the boy you loved who couldn't even look you in the eyes for more than a second.

“I said get out,” he repeated.

“JJ please, I don’t want us to end like this!” You pleaded, your throat closing up feeling as though it was wrapped in barbed wire.

“I said GET OUT!” He yelled, tears streaming down his face, his voice coated in pain. He hated how he was acting towards you and he knew he’d regret it but he couldn’t look at you. He didn't want to hear your voice right now.

You nodded sadly, wiping your tears, your mascara now smeared on your face and coating your fingers.

“I love you...” you said gently.

You waited a moment to see if he would respond, but he remained silent, refusing to look at you. You sighed in defeat before walking out of his room and out of his life.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

That day was scarred into JJ’s mind. There was nothing he regretted more than the way he had acted. He still didn’t understand why you’d hidden it, he would’ve been upset at first, but ultimately he would’ve cherished every day with you even more. But he knew you weren’t selfish, and he knew you didn't mean to hurt him. You were trying to protect him and your last moments together. He still thought you’d gone about it the wrong way and in some ways you did too, but what was done was done. He simply wished he’d had the self control to keep himself from saying the things he did, and to say the things he didn’t.

He never told you he loved you back. That was his biggest regret. He never said goodbye. That was his next regret. You’d left for Paris two weeks after you told him about your year abroad programme there. Two weeks. He could’ve spent every minute of those last two weeks with you, but instead he spent it alone, avoiding you at all costs. His pride stopping him from apologising and his pain stopping him from being around you at all.

It hurt him so much that you’d ended that way, and as much as he wanted to put the blame on you, he knew he played a part in it too. But it was too late to reverse the damage. All he longed for now was to forget. He’d spent a year hoping you would come back and hoping you could go back to being JJ and (Y/N), the power couple of the Outer Banks. But when you came back with him, he realised it was too little too late.

All there was left to do was erase you from his memory.

A/N: holy shit that made me SAD, amnesia is my cry song. FUCKSJF I'm sorry, but like at the same time I'm not cuz like I'm kinda proud of this

tagging some lovely people: @maybe-maybanks , @baby-bearie , @obx-sos , @drewtruly , @drewstarkey , @spilledtee , @thelocalpogue , @heliopvth , @jmaybank , @ruelstyles , @jjmaybanky , @jjmayibeyoursbanks , @jjmayspanks , @ceruleanjj

#jj maybank #outer banks #obx #rudy pankow #outerbanks #jj obx #obx netflix #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj outer banks #jj x reader

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padalickingood · 5 years

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Can we please have more Loch backstory? I'm v intrigued and would appreciate a readmore dump

umm yessss absolutely Lmao. There’s actually….kind of a lot to unpack with his backstory, so I’m not even really sure where to begin with it? Hence why I prefer answering specific asks people have XD, but I could TRY and do a quick abbreviated readmore of his backstory, KEYWORD TRY

I’m definitely going to leave out a lot of the meat of his story and kind of go over the basics so if there’s anything that you would like me to elaborate on please let me know!!

not sure if I should do bullet points or little paragraph info dumps so uh we’ll just see what happens here

Firstly there’s a lot of stuff that needs to be prefaced to kind of understand the basics (like specifically surrounding the politics of the city and what not) that I honestly feel like i’ve repeated enough to make a decent amount of sense??? but if you need a refresher it’s all here . otherwise i’m just gonna start saying stuff and hope it’s easy to follow!!

---------

SO I guess I should start off by saying where he kind of sits right now in his story and kind of go backwards from there. Currently he is an exile of his home city of Elfenbein, effectively chased out of the city and left to die. Before that though he was the oldest son of one of the four most historic noble houses of the city of Elfenbein. He belonged to the house of rangers, with his father as the head and his step mother and 3 half siblings at his side. Loch was very much the bastard son of the family in most senses of the word. There were little to no expectations put on him aside from just being a good hunter and having a presentable presence in public. but he was also Ley’thas’ illegitimate son.

Before he married Dofrea he had a fling with a woman named Ranna. Their little fling wasn’t that long lived and eventually Ranna was forced out of the city after it being discovered what she was (psst...a werewolf). Of course she didn’t go without leaving a gift, the young infant Loch, with Ley’thas to care for.

Loch grew up in the noble life style of a Vallentin family member although he never really felt quite noble. His relationship with his father and step mother were strained at best in his youth and only grew worse as he grew up and his lycanthropy started to truly develop. The harshest years of his life were from his mid teen to young adult years where he endured a suffocating hold his parents had on him in their attempts to keep his secret hidden and ‘help’ rid him of the curse. In the end their attempts at ridding him of the affliction left him with nothing but deep emotional scars that he carries with him to this day.

Still he maintained his hearty attitude and looked to move forward. In his youth after his wolfy side started to really take root, Loch quickly formed an obsession to finding his birth mother Ranna, wanting to build a true connection with her in order to better understand himself. Through his desperate attempts at finding her he ends up getting involved in some less than kosher magics that eventually lead him to her. Their initial meeting was awkward and strained and the two didn’t exactly connect as quickly as he would have liked. Ranna’s attempts to distance herself from him was only met with determination from Loch to learn more about her. She reluctantly agrees to help him but so far they’ve only met less than a handful of times.

Aside from his rocky relationship with his family (which doesn’t even include his half-siblings yet) He was still very much an important member of the Ventis. As an actual family member he was able to climb up the ranks fairly easily and is renowned among other Vallentin recruits for being one of the best hunters…even though he would always split from the group. Regardless he did his job efficiently and without issue for the most part, and he actually prided himself on his ability to protect his city.

Loch has always been a protective person, but in his job description of killing monsters there is obviously a level of conflict within him. He would always do whatever he could to help people, but in that same vein he never indiscriminately killed monsters. His philosophy was to help those that needed it. The idea of simply killing something because it encroached on your space (which was essentially what The Ventis does) was never something that sat right with him. Even though he participated in Ventis hunts, he made a habit to make sure the creature they were after was either humanely lead to a place where it wouldn’t be any trouble or be taken care of if it truly only sought to harm others.

He doesn’t really think of himself as altruistic per-se but just someone whose there to help. Deep down hunting is in his blood and it’s a part of him that’s never really going to go away. One of Loch’s many faults is his addictive nature, specifically around fighting creatures and hunting and also his need to reconnect with his birth mother. All of those things tie into a major part of his person and drive him as a character (and ultimately could get him into a lot of trouble)

When he still lived in Elfenbein he had a few people he grew to knew as close friends. For the most part he wasn’t exactly the best at making friends, either being shunned as the illegitimate son of a Ventis family, not exactly having the best personality for making friends or just simply being ignored (which he kind of preferred). He had no issues with being unseen, it actually helped him get away with a lot more than his siblings at times and maintained his secret pretty well. Particularly after one bad memory with someone he was close to from his past he never really tried to make more friends.

of course sometimes people just enter your life and you don’t get to decide just how much of an impact they’ll have on you. At some point in his life (a few years before he leaves) he makes a habit of going to the lower tier of the city and frequents a tavern in his attempts to get the true pulse of the people and live a mostly average existence. The tavern owner, a young energetic and intense woman by the name of Laurel, ends up becoming one of his closest friends in the city. Loch quickly becomes a regular to the tavern and actually befriends laurel’s other siblings who work there as well. A particular sibling by the name of Rosen actually ends up being a bit of a kindred spirit to Loch as the two learn to understand just how much in common they have.

Unfortunately as life is want to do, the good times don’t last. A few years after he meets and grows close to Laurel and her siblings and he starts to actually get comfortable things start to fall apart. Eventually his father and step-mother discover his (what they deem) incredibly risky and careless behavior and Loch is left to face the consequences and endure the punishment laid out by them. Then not long after that (a few months) there is an attempt on his life. Unknown assailants armed with silvered weapons ambush him while his guard is down and Loch manages to barely escape with his life.

He barely manages to survive with the help of a stranger who finds him near death on the side of the road. After he recovers he makes the decision to leave Elfenbein behind, but more importantly leave the people he’s grown close to behind. And that’s when he start his search for ,honestly, a place to call home. and it starts with finding his mother.

———

welp! that’s scarily the spark notes version of his whole backstory. I hope you enjoyed! I didn’t really get into detail his relationship with his siblings and the nitty gritty of his parents cuz there is just…so much to unpack there. Also there’s the case of Alden and his close friend Rosen and Laurel who have had a huge impact on his life, but those are all honestly their own posts. So if you have questions about them i’ll be happy to share!

#'wants more backstory' just tells you about his whole life #woops #there's actually..... a lot that I left out #so i can still honestly elaborate on all of this #but i will spare you the optic migrane for now lol #anonymous #response #Anonymous

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rockrevoltmagazine · 3 years

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Interview: Dead Animal Assembly Plant

The Sweet Meats Slaughterhouse was founded in 1895 by Wilhelm Schröder. Internationally known for his advances in industrialized butchery…he produced 30% of the meats consumed in the United States. In 1915 tragedy struck the small town he called home when all the livestock took some unexplained fatal disease. The ever resourceful Schröder turned to the only available meat. The townsfolk. When they discovered the terrible truth – they enacted their own form of justice. Feeding the once prolific Schröder to his own machines. The Sweet Meats Slaughterhouse remained eerily quiet and vacant..until one night…horrible noises resembling music emanated from the dank hallways.

Why did you pick your band name?

Z.Wager: That is definitely the 10,000 dollar question. Having a name like Dead Animal Assembly Plant – I’ve found people either love it or hate it. It does feel like a disjointed jumble of nonsense. Yet the origin story is actually pretty mundane. A number of years ago I was casually looking at a website relating to business licenses and I came across one that I found extremely bizarre. In the state of Oregon in order to transport or store animal carcasses you have to get what’s called a “Dead Animal Assembly Plant” license. The absurdity of it was too much. At that moment I thought it would make a great band name.

Once I started putting together the pieces of the theme. Backstory. Etc. Having such a name made it easier to come up with the mythology and just kind of build on it from there.

Anything you would like to share, from new merch to upcoming shows/tours or songs/albums?

Z.Wager: So March is a big month for us in terms of releasing new material. March 26th our new album “Bring Out The Dead” will be released via Armalyte Industries. It will be available via Bandcamp (www.deadanimalassemblyplant.bandcamp.com) in both physical and digital form. We are very excited to finally have the album it out. The initial release date was pushed due to COVID. We had finished the album just prior to our tour in 2019, but the world turned inside out as we all know, so the decision was made to delay the release. Which was completely understandable. There was just too much going on and people were far too distracted by way more important things. We can’t wait to finally be able to hit the road to play new music and promote the album.

We also recently did a collaboration with the Belgian surrealist artists – Mothmeister. They just released their 2nd art book and over the past few months have been working with them to create unique “sonic landscapes.” Each track represents a different chapter in their book. So we would get a collection of photos and from that compose a soundscape that would convey the overall emotion. Try to tell the story their vivid imagery conveys. It was an honor to work with them on that. The 9 tracks are included for free when you buy their latest book which is available on their etsy page (mothmeister.etsy.com.)

As far as shows we are currently gearing up to perform a live set in late May. It will be professionally recorded/edited then released on YouTube. Still working out the details on that but we cannot wait to play together again even though it will be in a closed studio.

How do you describe your music to people?

Z.Wager: It can be challenging describing your music to people because of preconceived ideas about what defines a genre. Plus you don’t really want to pigeon-hole yourself into a music corner. We basically say it’s a cauldron of rock, metal, industrial, electronica, but also a bit of rockabilly or dissonant noise. That even sounded silly listing out haha. I think one of the funnest things is to hear how people describe your music to you. It’s really insightful and rewarding.

Do you get nervous before a performance or a competition? What advice would you give to beginners who are nervous?

Z.WageR: Oh we all still get nervous before shows. Doesn’t matter how big or small the venue/crowd. There’s always this nervous halo kinda dangling over your head. It really doesn’t start sinking until after we get ready and there’s that calm before the storm as it were. When you’re loading in, getting ready, doing your make up, sound checking etc etc…there’s almost no time to really be nervous. After all that is done and you have time to process your emotions…yeah the nerves set in.

I’ve never seen nerves as a bad thing though. It’s exhilarating and it really keeps your head focused. Maybe it’s the adrenaline junky in me haha. But it makes you feel alive and present. If there gets a point when you’re so jaded that you don’t feel that then maybe you need to rethink where you’re at. Approach the show with confidence – of course – but let those waves of anxiety wash over you.

Let it drive your performance or keep you on your toes. Then when you hit the stage let it drop and roll away. Cuz now it’s show time and people deserve to see a great show. So my advice is not to try and avoid your nervousness but embrace it as part of the experience.

Do you have a band website? Do you have a Facebook or Twitter? Do you use Bandcamp, Spotify, or SoundCloud to share your music?

Z.Wager: Yes we are all over the place on the internet. Bandcamp is by far our preferred place for selling music online. Sure, it’s a business but they don’t rake artists across the coals unlike all the streaming services. It is hilariously sad when you register your music and get the occasional “check” for the stream payouts. It would be easy to get angry if it wasn’t so funny how ridiculous the thing is. At that point you really do have to think of it in terms of getting it out to more ears than expecting a payout. All of our links can be found below.

How Does music affect you and the world around you?

Z.Wager: At one point in our lives – up to today – we can all say that music saved us in some way. I know it’s a cliche’ we say or hear a million times, but we know it to be true. Music is visceral. It vibrates us down to our core. It gives a voice to the voiceless. Understanding to the hopeless. This is something we all feel and for us – if we’re able to put something back into the ether and help one person get through a tough time – then it’s all worth it. Because it’s something that no matter who we are…our backgrounds…beliefs…we can find something in common.

One of the best things anyone has ever said to me at a show that really stuck with me was,” You know there’s a lot going wrong in my life right now, but I know when I come to one of your shows…I can forget all that and just have fun.” That really meant the world to me because that is a huge part of why we do what we do.

How would you define the word “success?”

Z.Wager: That’s such a loaded subjective word. To me it really comes down to …fun. Are you having fun? If so – then you are successful. It isn’t always a happy positive situation…like any other facet of life it is wrought with negativity, dangerous thoughts, and dramatic complications but I can say..still…I’m having fun. So no matter how big or small your band is…your following is..how big your shows are…if you are having fun then you are successful. People can tell and respond to that energy when a band is in a positive state of mind. But it’s that realization that can get you through the darkest times.

How did you form?

Z.Wager: So back in 2007 I was in a friend’s band called Bound in Oblivion. He was taught me a lot about various DAWs and gear to the point where I started tinkering around more with my own songs. I had ideas for songs that didn’t really jive with what he wanted so I initially formed DAAP as a solo side project. A place where I could experiment with themes and compositions. After a few years and a few small – VERY – rough releases I wanted to do a live show, but I didn’t want it to be only me. I didn’t want Industrial karaoke. So through my friend Case (whose band I was in prior) I met Eric “aka Zero” and my friend Vex (of Particle Son) joined. Viola the 4 of us clunked our way through a show that was supposed to be a one off. Here we are 10 yrs later (almost to the day) still trudging through. Granted, we have changed members up quite a bit but that comes with the territory. Why have kids when you can have a band? Haha

Who writes the songs, what are they about?

Z.wager: We all , in some respect, work on the songs. I generally will write the lyrics, but the compositions/instrumentation is a collective effort. There are stronger personality imprints on certain songs which i love because it makes it dynamic yet cohesive. The themes of our songs are generally all over the place. There’s no one thing we tend to focus on other then we follow the basic idea that real life is far more horrorific than make believe. So whilst we call ourselves a horror band – the horror we generally write about is every day life. The depths in which humans stoop. We’re also not very religious and tend to view religion through the lens of critical skepticism. So, that definitely makes easy fodder for lyrics. Predictable? Absolutely. But they make it so very easy.

What’s your outlook on the record industry today?

Z.Wager: In one word: shambles. The pandemic has really shown how shark infested those waters are. It’s a vicious voracious hungry monster that is solely designed to eat away every bit of creativity. It very much is an industry and a business. It’s always been cruel but it the cruelty has gotten more calculated over the years. Yet there is the other side to it. It’s the golden age of the independent artist. All those outlets and resources that were afforded only to major labels are now available to everyone. That’s a wonderful thing. i know people can feel pretty divisive about it but that’s a load of gate keeping nonsense.

Sure, it’s still a business so everything takes money but now you can have your own studio, pay for your own production, hire a PR person, have your music online, and stay connected to your fan base. People can be their own bosses. Own managers. Keep control of their art. That strips a lot of power away from the big business side of it. Sure, it’s still a rat race…people claw at each other for a piece..that’s in our nature. But now you have far more control over what you do with your art. Empowering the creator which is paramount.

There will always be that power struggle between both sides of it and you just have to figure out what’s best for you. Full steam ahead. Damn the torpedoes!

DAAP combine elements of rock, metal, industrial, and bring a strong post-apocalyptic / horror influence to our characters and stage show. Shows include: Knotfest 2015, Wasteland Weekend 2018/2019, multiple successful independent tours including a national tour in 2019, Twitch.tv appearances, collaborations with international artists Mothmeister, and direct local support for numerous national touring acts from metal, to horror punk, to industrial.

The fanatical cannibals of Dead Animal Assembly Plant have whipped up their own recipe for the horrors of the modern age: with a touch of rock, dash of metal, pinch of industrial, sprinkle in some electronics and heaping helping of madness. Welcome to the slaughterhouse.”

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DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT: Z.WAGER REBECCA ‘BUZZ’ WAGER ERIC ‘ZERO’ BERGEN JASON ‘SKORN’ MOORE NICK ‘NIX’ SNYDER

Connect with DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT (click icons):

Interview: Dead Animal Assembly Plant was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

#Dead Animal Assembly Plant #ERIC 'ZERO' BERGEN #JASON 'SKORN' MOORE #NICK 'NIX' SNYDER #REBECCA 'BUZZ' WAGER #RockRevolt Magazine #Z.WAGER

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just-jordie-things · 7 years

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Scallisaac: Allison Argent’s Side of the Story

Scott McCall. My first love, the boy with the puppy dog eyes and the crooked jaw line. The boy who’s hand fit perfectly in mind, our fingers linking in between each other’s so perfectly. We’d met at a young age, and fell in love so quickly. It was scary, but in a way, the entire time I felt safe. Seeing that we both went through these feelings together for the first time. Through the obstacles of a new town, supernaturals, my parents, Scott being a werewolf, Jackson, lacrosse, the list went on and on- we never really fell out of love. In fact, it might have just grown.

Even when things were tough, and our relationship had to be more secretive than I would’ve liked. Matt began..um..stalking me... yeah that happened. Jackson becoming a stupid lizard (which I found comically ironic), Lydia low key losing her mind, my grandfather beating the shit out of my friends. Not to forget that he manipulated me, and turned me against my friends and loved ones. It means something when your father, who hates your werewolf boyfriend, befriends your werewolf boyfriend.

Breaking up with Scott was single handedly the hardest thing I ever did. I knew it wouldn’t last, I’d done it in hopes of getting back together with him. Taking some time off in France, just carefree and having no worries about the town I left behind for the summer was a good choice for me, and gave me time to really think about where I wanted to go with my future. And I definitely saw being with Scott in my future.

That first day back at school junior year hit me like a brick to the head. As soon as I’d slumped next to Lydia’s locker, tightly holding onto my books, I’d wished I’d taken up on my father’s idea of staying home. Maybe I’d needed more time. See, the longer I listened to hearing Lydia’s plans for her high school career, and then further, even listing off colleges she’d started applications too, the bigger the knot in my stomach became. All I’d done was think about Scott. When I was supposed to just be thinking about my future. Like my genius strawberry blonde headed friend had done. Though soon enough, as we realized out days of fighting the supernatural weren’t as over as we’d thought, new problems began to occur.

Not that falling for the curly blonde haired boy by the name Isaac Lahey was really a problem. Not until you factored in the fact that he was becoming closer friends with Scott by the days at least. Lydia told me to go for it, well actually she’d said a piece of meat is a piece of meat Allison. Which in the human language, meant that it shouldn’t matter. But it did. Scott wasn’t just a boyfriend, he wasn’t a fling, he was a lover. We’d lost our virginity to each other, that’s not really ‘no big deal’ (as Lydia had also said). But it’s not like Isaac and I were having sex (Lydia: eye sex Allison. Penetrates just as good as- me: i get it!) there was really just low key flirting here and there. It was mindless and easy.

But the day that I got locked in that stupid closet with him, was a make or break moment. It ended up being both. Starting as make, having a feeling of forgiveness and friendliness in the air. This was pre door lock. Post door lock was when the real shit happened. I hadn’t missed the short look of fury on Scott’s face when he’d gotten us out. He’d replaced it just as quickly as I noticed it, to one of concern.

Concern for both Isaac and I. Both.

Yes, I was well aware of the way the boys looked at each other. Oblivious to my own feelings, yes I try to be. But oblivious to the world around me? Hell no! Especially when my whole world was this makeshift pack that we’d seemed to find ourselves in. And the second Isaac began taking seats next to Scott at the lunch table, and vice versa, my interest was peaked. Of course I wanted what was best for Scott, even if that wasn’t me. I mean, he’d said himself that he knew we’d be together, that didn’t mean right away. These things take time. More time than I’d originally been thinking...perhaps. Isaac moving in with with Scott definitely had caught my ear the second Isaac had complained about the McCall guest bed. I’d asked right away what that was all about, and the pale boy gave me a somewhat guilty. He stuttered an apology, but I’d shook my head, simply saying that he could stay at my father and I’s apartment as well.

Though staying at the McCall house with the both of them was an idea in the back of my mind that didn’t seem to go away. Cooking in the kitchen with them, the three of us cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie, passing the bowl of popcorn around. And for some unknown reason, the idea of laying in Scott’s bed, pressed into Scott’s back with Isaac’s arms wrapped around me, had been plaguing my thoughts. When I’d gone to Lydia about this, (after much consideration, her past advice ended in winks that made me shudder and regret my life’s decisions) she actually hesitated before giving me an answer. Her lips pursed, eyes thoughtful as she stopped typing on her laptop to look at me. Immediately indicating that I was in deep shit. A problem that the Lydia Martin couldn’t solve in a snap?

Man was I screwed.

Maybe if I hadn’t started to have sexy dreams about Isaac. Maybe then I wouldn’t be thinking about what the three of us could have. And somewhere along the lines, on a late night working on this Nogitsune problem we’d had, I had hastily decided to just pull my shirt over my head. Maybe there were events leading up to my action, but it happened without regrets. Even seeing him in school the next day, things went on as normal. Even though in that moment the previous night, I easily would’ve jumped on him. Pretty sure I could say the same for Isaac too. I mean, he was the first one to take off his shirt.

But after that, the development stayed at it’s normal pace. Simple flirting with Isaac, building up my best friendship with Scott. Nothing ever went any further, though there were nights when I would think, Allison, it’s time. But I was actually quite content with how things were. Especially with the stressful and hectic conflicts that Beacon Hills was facing. Thousand year old Japanese spirits were sort of taking up all of my attention, so a boyfriend(s) wasn’t really my top priority. It was a close second. But again, I was pretty happy. I was in an honest to Deaton good place. I had great friendships around me, which only grew. Though Stiles’ smartass comments, and Lydia’s... whatever you called her relationship with Aiden, it was manageable. I’d even made the high honor roll twice throughout the year, while still getting target practice on the heads of Onis by night (Lydia called me her everyday superhero). Kira, our new pixie looking kitsune friend, was a lovely addition to our pack. She worried me at first, seeing how she knew so much about our... situation. But she turned out to be a super badass, yet sweet girl. I kind of wish I could’ve gotten to know her better without the jealousy biased view I had towards Scott.

But again, I was pretty happy. I had my boys, Scott, Isaac, Stiles, (Derek here and there, but I still don’t believe he ever forgave me for that one thing..). And my girls, my bestie Lydia, who I would go into war for if someone merely looked at her wrong. And now Kira. I had to admire the way she’d swing around that katana, an image of of pure grace, and quite frankly beauty. I’m especially happy with where my dad and I were at. One point in our lives, we’d been nothing but secretive liars, his paternal relationship with me seemingly toxic, and there was a time where I thought I’d never fix that. But there we were, utterly proud of each other, through everything our family had endured. We were at our strongest. We all were.

In the end, I was happy with the way that the events of my time with my friends, my family, had played out.

collab with my best gals @taegdcl1018, who wrote Scott’s part of the fic and @skylars-little-world, who wrote Isaac’s part of the fic.

DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW THEM CUZ THEY R GRRREAT!

tried something different, but it was a smack to the face of inspriration so I sat and did it all for ye. xoxo ~ jordie

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caraferguson · 6 years

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Adventures in Victoria

I wrote a few emails to a friend back in the spring of 2010. Recently searching for some other emails I stumbled across these and, inspired by another friend's posting cool stories about his current trip to Victoria, decided to post my dusty tales - well at least the first few days of my adventure.

Here we go...names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent:

Cara's Excellent Adventure - Hello Victoria:)

Wow. Victoria is beautiful. The hotel is very stuffy and stodgy and kind of faded but cool. Reminds me of the way my Grandma's house (100 plus years old) in Shelburne smelled. I think they may have actually imported some of her original furniture because the couch in my room is the spitting image of one she had in the parlour (seriously, not a living room or great room - a parlour) back in the day. There is even a stain on it reminiscent of the time I spilled lime Kool-Aid whilst fighting with my older brother over who got the last potato chip. Hmmm. Btw I tricked him (actually I may possibly have hit him with a hard object which probably doesn't fit the definition of tricking him exactly) and got the potato chip in case you were wondering. And blamed him for the stain too ha ha. I'm just going to tell myself the stain on this couch is lime Kool-Aid cuz the alternative could be quite unsettling.

The reception here was so nice. So posh and gracious. They upgraded me to a deluxe room because I am so cute I think. Okay, so maybe that's a stretch. They probably upgraded me because I arrived early and they didn't want me loitering in the lobby attracting sailors (it's the 100 anniversary of the Navy and the streets are crawling with men & women in uniform) or pestering the guests with my Queen imitation. I do a pretty mean Queen wave btw - wrist positioning is critical to a successfully authentic Queen wave. That was also in case you are wondering. Ahh, I bet I've inspired you to try it now haven't I? I can see you doing it right now. Careful, not too much curvature to the fingers. Tut tut cheerio and all that.

Well off to the gym - good thing about this place is that it's high tea and all the Stodgies are heading to the upper Lobby which leaves the gym empty for me to use. Which is good because I get very red-faced and sweaty and when others are around my workouts are frequently interrupted by people asking me if I'm okay and/or if they should call 911 or trying to zap me with those defibrillator (sp?) thingies. This is why I work out in my garage. I did tour the Y and may get a membership so I can work with one of the trainers there but I'll probably have to make up a big sign to wear around my neck that says "I'm okay. Really." or "Put the damn defibrillator thingie away before someone loses an eye". Or something like that.

Day One of Cara's Excellent Adventure

Woke up at the crack of yawn. Seriously. That three hour time difference is a killer. 4:30 here and wide awake. I'm thinking I'd like some breakfast so I can fuel up before an early trip to the gym but nothing is open. Okay, well nothing within reasonable/safe walking distance that I know of is open. I'm regretting not taking the time yesterday to hunt down a market and pick up some fruit and cereal or something.

I make some coffee, do some work, kill some time. I consider ordering room service but even though it's coming out of the company's account I can't bring myself to order two eggs, fruit and coffee for $30. I don't know if I told you this but my maiden name is Ferguson...Scottish blood...I'm not cheap but spending that kind of money on breakfast goes against my very DNA. So I go out for a walk and find a Smitty's and get the same for $10. I decide to explore a bit and head out around downtown Victoria. Still, nothing is open yet but it's a nice walk along the harbour and little nooks and crannies of the city.

I'm walking along Government Street, very pretty, lush, green trees and foliage, the sun is shining and I'm snapping photos. It's absolutely freezing out but still such a beautiful day and I'm enjoying it. As I walk out under a canopy of dense greenery I hear a sudden bloodcurdling shriek and the heavy rushing sound of a huge wingspan propelling an ominous dark object at my head. The air swirls around me and I feel talons scrape over my scalp. It happened fast. I didn't scream or run or wet my pants even. I bravely and calmly swatted at the air around my head as though it was an irritating fly and not a tourist-eating pterodactyl - a renegade that had escaped from the Jurassic Park movie set and made its home here. I felt around my head. No puncture wounds or pre-historic bird poop. I admit, I was relieved. Perhaps it was my fault and I should have spent more time brushing my hair when I got up this morning - the creature may have thought I was walking off with its nest on my head. Because even though I go to bed with relatively calm, straight hair somehow, over the course of the night, something happens to it that normally would require a can of hairspray, a rat-tailed comb and a Weed Whacker to accomplish.

So I head back to the hotel thinking - okay, I've probably left enough time for breakfast to digest - time to hit the gym. Back to my room, into my workout clothes and ready to rumble. Now I frequently make a habit of taking the stairs whenever I can and I happen to be one door down from some exit stairs. Let me back up a minute actually. My room is at the end of a really, really long hallway that is off another really, really long hallway. One of them is so long that you can't even really see the end of it properly. And there is a big, big ramp you have to use. Oh, and about that ramp. Big ramp that you can see a mile down the hallway, this is not a little carpet speed bump let me tell you, and they have this teeny tiny little sign on the wall that says "Caution ramp". Now I ask you - if someone's eyesight is so bad that they don't see the ramp how the heck is a little sign going to help them to avoid tripping? Really? Does that make sense to you? But I digress. Anyway. I decide to take the stairs that are at the end of this killer long hallway down to the Fitness Room. That is when I discovered that this is the stairway to the bowels of the hotel and not the Fitness Room. It is a stairway that no one ever uses. And all of the doors to each floor lock behind you. And there is no technology that allows you to just swipe your room key to get out. I have to confess, I didn't try every floor but I tried a lot. And they were locked. And it was an unkempt, musty stairwell. There were cobwebs and such. I kid you not. Not having any luck going up I went back down, down, down to the aforementioned bowels. I manage to get a door open to a dark, dank room ... a few puddles on the floor - drips coming from the ceiling. A single bulb kind of swinging in the middle of the room. It was freakin' creepy let me tell you. Knowing that if there are pterodactyls on the loose there could also be a few escaped raptors running around I'm nervous. I expect to see a huge bloody carcass swinging from the ceiling - hey, it is a meat conference I'm at - this is not so far-fetched. Plus I also had a long discussion with someone the other day about a few Stephen King novels that scared the pants off of me and this room had Stephen King potential. My footsteps actually echoed dully...once again I kid you not. Then I heard voices. I was quiet but I wasn't sneaking up on them purposely - I was trying to figure out if they were employees or some hotel bowel dwelling scary people. They were employees. And they actually yelped (aka screamed like little girls) when they saw me (once again I considered that perhaps I should do something about my hair) but it was because they hadn't expected a human to come from the direction I'd come from and possibly also because I'd caught them smoking pot. I explained my predicament, they said they had forgotten there were even stairs there, and there were so many places you could get lost in this hotel. They showed me how to get to the Fitness Room. I tell you I was never so happy to see a gym before. And, for the record, I did go back and check the stairwell. There was no sign indicating that if you entered the stairwell the door would lock forever behind you...so they have a sign warning you about a huge ramp that if you don't notice you probably deserve to trip over but no sign to indicate that you could be trapped for all eternity in the stairwell once the door closes and locks behind you. Go figure.

Rest assured that I made a note of that on my hotel comment card.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful after that - I worked out for an hour, had a long shower, got ready to meet my friend who was arriving around lunch. We did high tea (which despite the name does not involve any pot other than that which holds the tea). It was kind of a letdown though it was tasty. Just thought people should have to go all poshed up but there were tons of people in jeans and baseball caps. Somehow it needed the posh part to be special.

Went out to explore again - avoiding the site of the pterodactyl attack - which, by the way, after eyewitness reports (I ended up meeting someone this evening that had witnessed it) I've discovered it was just a big, bad-assed crow and I'd walked too close to its nest. Apparently this has happened before and had nothing to do with my lackadaisical hair care.

Anyway, after that it was a cocktail on the hotel veranda where they actually bring blankets out for you. I thought it was just for me and because it was evident that I was badly in need of a nap but apparently everyone gets one to use if they want. Not that I'd want to wrap myself up in a blanket that a stranger had been using. Well not until after a few cocktails at least. After said cocktails I went back to my room and quickly fell asleep.

The rest of it you kind of know. Meat reception (mmmm meat). Ran into Mr. X and he was really nice to me and we talked for ages. That was new.

Okay...so I have sooo rambled on. But it's a pretty good record of my day. Only mildly exaggerated. Truly adventurous. I like it here!

#rambling #Victoria #letter to a friend #adventure is out there #high tea

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