#— arie's collection 📮

[yongbokkari]

lovesickness ᝰ໋᳝݊ຳི

ᝰ pairing — bf!changbin x reader

ᝰ word count — 4k+

ᝰ warnings — small argument (again) 🫰🏻, mention of period, reader had a bad day, pet names of baby and darling and slight angst, pls let me know if there's more !!

a/n — @soobnny im finally done 🥹 hope you guys will enjoy this one !! i have mixed feelings about this one bleh bleh bleh but i cried so 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 btw thank you so much for all the notes on my last seungmin post :(( u guys are so sweet i just want to put u guys in my pocket and carry u everywhere i go and cherish u everyday u guys have no idea how happy i get everytime i read ur notes :( <3

You brought out the leftovers from yesterday you had left to freeze to reheat them, stirring away so it would defrost faster. Your head was still terribly aching as hard as you tried to ignore it, in hopes that it would slowly go away.

The front door opened then, your boyfriend coming in after a visit to the gym. "Honey, I'm back~," He dragged out, his whiny voice instantly rising whenever he was with you. You just hummed, not putting it to mind to greet him in any sort, instead prodding the food harder since it wasn't budging to defrost faster.

"Honey, what are you making?" His voice became louder, and his steps closer until his hands were wrapped around you, his clingy side showing off. It had been a few days since you met since he had to stay at the dorms for a few practice sessions.

And you would've jumped up and down at the sight of him if it wasn't for the awful day you had and the pain going around in your head. The nauseous feeling you were getting wasn't helping either, only making your head ache even more.

"Just reheating yesterday's leftovers," You answered monotonously, shrugging off his arms so you could move to the fridge to take a few vegetables out to cook.

You loved his presence around you, you really did but now it just made you frustrated and annoyed that he wouldn't just leave you alone. You didn't want to meet his eyes, afraid that he would see the tension in you that you were trying so hard to contain inside.

"Are you okay? Did something happen honey, hm?" He asked, coming closer to you, but you continued to cook the vegetables silently, hoping he would get the message to just leave you alone. He didn’t and instead moving his head so he could see your face and was just all over you. You understood his need to help you feel better, but couldn’t you just have your space to yourself for a while?

“God, Changbin just- Can you just leave me alone? I clearly don’t want to talk about it, so can you just stop bothering me?” Your voice seemed to rise more as each word came out and you could see how startled he got at the sudden loudness after how quiet you were being. You stood there facing each other, waiting for him to reply. When it didn’t look like he would, you turned back towards the stove, continuing to stir.

After a while, you heard him say. “I didn’t have that blast of a day too, you know. You didn’t have to scream at me.” You heard the sound of his footsteps receding down the hallway, until finally there was the soft thud of your bedroom door.

You sighed. He was right, you definitely didn’t have to scream at him, so why did you? When the food was fully defrosted and the vegetables were cooked, you turned off the stove and slowly crouched down. Your head was hurting so much more, now that you had raised your voice like that. Guess that’s what you get for acting like an asshole.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” You muttered, your hands repeatedly hitting your pounding head. How were you going to make up for it this time? Do you pretend nothing happened? Yeah, you should probably try that. You’ll see whether he’ll talk to you, then you’ll see where to go from there.

You waited for a few minutes, assuming the time it would take for him to finish showering, as you arranged the plates on the table and served the food. 30 minutes passed. He should be settled down now, you thought to yourself as your braced yourself to enter your bedroom.

You pushed the door open, “Bin-ah?” You called out, looking for him, only to see him at his table with his laptop open. You entered the room a bit more, afraid to come too close to him in case he didn’t want to be close to you. “Bin-ah, let’s eat. I’ve finished setting up the table.”

You had smiled then, shamelessly hoping his heart would soften enough to forgive you, but it was to no use as he didn’t even look up to you as he replied. “I don’t feel like eating. You eat first.”

You couldn’t help the tug and heaviness you felt in your chest. “Oh, okay,” You answered, before exiting and closing the door. Why were there tears in your eyes? Why is the ache in your chest not going away? You clutched at it, breathing in and out, hoping it would go. Now the tears were flowing out. Why were they coming out?

Didn’t you deserve this treatment? After how yours was towards him?

You wiped the tears away and walked to the dining table to put the lids on the containers you used to put the food in. You put the rice back in the rice cooker, and the plates back into the shelf. Your appetite was gone now. Most of the meals you’ve had since you were with Changbin had been with him. It upset you to think that the reason he wasn’t eating was because of you.

You were thankful that you had agreed on your personal room where you could do your work, otherwise Changbin would have to face you. You went into the room, and sat at your table. You couldn’t think of any assignments you had that was due soon, but you managed to find one that was due not for another 3 weeks. But you would take anything to distract yourself from the pain that you simultaneously felt and caused.

˚ ༘♡ · ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

The clock showed 11:36. You were at your laptop working on your assignments for 5 hours. Partially, that is. Most of those hours were just you staring off into the distance wondering when Changbin would come and talk to you again.

You thought of whether it was fine for you to sleep in your bedroom. Would he leave and go sleep on the couch? You wouldn’t want him to. He always complained about his back hurting, plus it always felt strange to sleep without him in the room. But usually he would be asleep by the time, so you turned off your laptop and got up to check on him.

You opened the door to your bedroom slowly, peering inside, and true enough he was fast asleep. Changbin’s sleeping position varied on a daily basis. At times he would be sleeping on his stomach, sometimes on his right or left side, facing upwards, and sometimes in questionable positions you didn’t bother to ask about anymore. Tonight he was on his left side, facing away from your side of the bed. Was tonight’s position a random pick or did a certain event of the day lead him to it? Did he not want to look at you that badly?

You went to the kitchen to put the once again leftovers back into the fridge, but the table was empty, containers all washed, the sink clean of foams from the dish soap. Changbin always made sure to clean the kitchen before sleeping. You always told him to let you do it, but he had said you were already doing so much in the house, it was the least he could do. You divided your chores weekly, so in no way were you doing anything more than him. Your heart hurt thinking of what happened in the evening. What you did and said to the world’s sweetest boy.

You went into the bedroom’s bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. You sighed before getting under the blanket, careful not to pull too hard. While Changbin’s sleeping position varied, yours were always the same. You were always sleeping on your side on the right side of the bed. Unless he was hugging you. Then you would be facing him.

But tonight could be an exception. You were scared he really didn’t want to see you, so you didn’t sleep on your left side, and instead opted for facing upwards. Being able to see him from the corner of your eyes was enough, you think. They say beggars can’t be choosers.

˚ ༘♡ · ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

You woke up to the left side of the bed empty. You and Changbin loved to sleep in, sometimes even until 3 pm, when both of you were too tired to care about your grumbling stomach, content with each other's company.

That day, Changbin chose to wake up early that day. Was it another random choice or a careful pick?

You heard the sound of pans clattering in the kitchen. You rarely ever ate breakfast. You wished you had. Then you would have a reason to go talk to Changbin. When did you ever need a reason to talk to your boyfriend? Right. Since you decided to be a prick yesterday. You rubbed your face, sighing.

You got up and out of the room and into the kitchen, the view of your boyfriend washing the dishes coming into view. He was wearing his usual gym clothes. It was only 12 pm, was he already going out?

"Oh you're awake," Changbin said, looking up to you for a second before returning his attention back to the dishes. When he was done, he patted his hands on his pants to dry them. "I'm going to the dorm. Chan hyung asked me to come over to help him with something. Then I'm going straight to the gym," He said, before meeting eyes with you. "Do you want to eat anything? I can make something for you."

"No, it's fine, I'm not hungry," You said. Your stomach was hurting, and your headache from yesterday was still there, so you couldn't really focus on your hunger.

Changbin hummed, before making his way past you, and into the room. You made your way to the couch, arranging the papers you were working on yesterday at the table before cooking, but had forgotten to tidy up before going to sleep.

You heard Changbin's steps shuffling throughout the corridor, before finally he came out with his backpack he brought his spare clothes in.

"Chan hyung is probably asking for my help with some tracks, so we'll probably continue after coming back from the gym. You don't have to wait for me to come home. Knowing Chan hyung he's definitely working on the tracks till past midnight. I don't really want him to have to work alone."

You hummed, nodding. Your eyes met for a few seconds, not saying anything. Was he still mad at you? Should you apologize now? Would he accept your apology?

Before you had the chance to sort your thoughts, he came over and planted a kiss on your cheek. "See you," He said, to which you responded the same. Your eyes followed him moving to the front door, before finally getting out of the house, the door closing.

Should you have run after him? Ask him to forgive you and to please stop acting like a stranger? To please hug you like he would always do before he went anywhere without you? Would you be considered clingy if you pleaded for him to hold your face and kiss you so he could make you feel better the way only he could?

There you go again being selfish. It was always for you. Never for him. Then you wonder why he was acting so cold towards you?

You sighed, laying down sideways on the couch. You clutched your stomach, your stomach ache suddenly getting worse. You checked your period tracker, and sure enough the app predicted for your period to come today. Today, of all days?

You went to the bathroom to put on a pad so you wouldn’t bleed out, then sat on the couch once again to continue your work.

You hoped Changbin wouldn’t stay there for too long. Did he have enough for breakfast? You were the one who usually makes breakfast since his cooking skills were limited to frying eggs and making toasts. Should you cook some food and send it to their dorm, or would that cross his boundaries? Though looking at your condition, you weren’t sure if you could even dress up without having the urge to crouch down from the pain every 5 minutes.

Hopefully he had enough this morning. You wouldn’t want him to get a stomach ache too. Another thing you were hoping was to be able to finish your work, but could you even with Changbin constantly on your mind?

˚ ༘♡ · ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

Changbin turned on his phone to see ‘1:30’ flashing on his phone. Did they really work on the songs for that long? He rolled his shoulders that were hurting from sitting slouched on the chair for too long. He pocketed out his keys, before unlocking the front door to your house.

“I’m home,” He mumbled, a habit of his, though he wished you wouldn’t be there to answer him because why would you be awake at that time? Thankfully you weren’t there to welcome him, but rather sleeping on the couch with your laptop propped open on the table.

He arranged his shoes on the rack then quickly put his bag aside to tend to you. “Why are you sleeping here,” He muttered to himself, saving your work, then shutting down your laptop. He looked at you and sighed. “How many times do I have to tell her to take her spectacles off before sleeping? Then tomorrow she’ll wake up complaining about it being crooked,” He muttered smiling to himself, before moving to take your spectacles off of you but then stopped.

His fingers that were in touch with your temples could feel your slightly warmer skin. Were you having a fever? He felt the temperature of your forehead with the back of his hand and you were definitely warmer than you usually were.

“Y/n. Y/n, wake up,” He shook your arm slightly until you slowly stirred awake. “Y/n, hey wake up. Are you having a fever?”

“Hm? Oh, you’re back? I slept? Ah, I’m not even done with my work yet,” You said, all the while he was worrying about your condition. As you tried to sit up, your head started to pound, making you grunt and immediately laying your head down onto the couch again.

“Y/n, are you having a fever? Have you taken any medicine?” He asked, more worried now that you were experiencing more pain.

“I’m not sure, my body’s just a little warm. I tried-” You paused, your headache making you pant, causing you to not be able to talk properly. “I tried searching for the medicine in the drawers, but I couldn’t find any. I think we ran out of them.”

Changbin sighed. “I thought I told you that I keep the spare medicine in the cabinet beside the fridge since they couldn’t fit the drawer.” He got up to get the medicine. He noticed that no food was on the table, so you definitely haven’t had any meals yet. He took out the leftovers from yesterday and quickly reheated them.

He came to your side on the couch once again with a plate full of food. He set down a glass of water and a packet of pills on the table. He scooped up some rice and meat and blowed on it before setting the spoon in front of you, ready to feed you. You were too tired to refuse him feeding you , so you opened your mouth welcoming the food.

You took the packet of pills, but Changbin quickly took it away from you, putting it back on the table. “You haven’t had anything today, so you need to eat more before you can take the pill. If not, you’ll get a stomach ache. Have your period started?” You nodded, muttering 'Just today,'. “Ah, then it’ll definitely hurt more if you take the pill now.” He offered you a spoonful of rice again.

You continued to consume two more spoons of rice, before Changbin finally handed you a pill and the glass of water. As soon as you chugged it down, Changbin was already holding a spoonful of food again.

“Why didn’t you eat? Do I always have to remind you to take your meals?” He sighed. As he was about to feed you another, you stopped him, shaking your head. Your appetite was nowhere to be found and you wished you could just sleep now. He clicked his tongue. “Come on, just finish this plate.”

Were you troubling him? He must be tired. He had been sighing non-stop since he came back. Ah, why didn’t you sleep in the room? Why did you have to sleep on the couch? He had a long day, and now this?

Your throat felt constricted by the second, your guilt rising. Your tears were forming. No, Y/n you can’t cry now. Why are you crying? Come on, come on don’t cry, please, not now, not in front of Changbin, Don’t trouble him more.

As you ate another spoonful, you looked away as you felt your tears were threatening to spill out.

“Why, what happened?” Changbin asked, his voice laced with concern.

You quickly turned back towards him, shaking your head. “No it’s nothing,” You cleared your throat. As you continued to chew, it slowly became more difficult to swallow. You felt the tears you were fighting so hard before roll down your cheeks. You saw Changbin looking more worried. “No, it’s nothing. My head is just hurting too much,” You chuckled, attempting to lighten the situation.

You sat there wiping your tears, before Changbin pulled you into a hug. “No, I swear it’s- It’s nothing. My head is just hurting, it’s fine.”

You sat there forcefully trying to stop the tears, before slowly Changbin brought his hand up to caress your head.

“Does it hurt a lot? Is my baby hurting?” His voice was so gentle, so afraid to break you more, that it ended doing just that as your heart broke more from how loving he was being.

His hold was too warm, that it made your tears spill out more and more, even when you try to stop them. Changbin had a knack for making people’s walls break down, and that night was no different. “It does. It hurts so much. I’m so sorry Bin, I’m so sorry,” Your voice came out in choked gasps.

“You don’t have to apologize darling, it’s fine. I’ll take care of you. The pain will be gone in no time, hm?” One of his hands never stopped caressing your head, the other massaging the back of your neck as he knew how strained it gets when you’re crying.

“No, I’m sorry Bin, for everything. I- I’ve troubled you so much. Yesterday I snapped at you and- and now this. I’m so sorry for being such a nuisance to you. Please don’t hate me,” You grip on his shirt tightened, your shoulders heaving up and down from how hard you were crying.

“Hey, Y/n come on. Don’t say that,” He pulled you away to look at your face, wiping your tears away. “How could you say that baby? I would never hate you. Hearing you say that breaks my heart. I was also acting stupid. I- Some of my friends were just talking about how I was too lenient with people I love that I’ll end up getting stepped on, and you know I want to take care of myself better. But- God, why did I ever think you would do that to me? I’m so sorry baby,” His words came out hurriedly, and once again he pulled you into a hug.

“I was being such a dick baby, I’m so sorry. Here, just hit me, come on.” He took your hand and began to hit his head with it and quickly you shook your head pulling away. “Please don’t cry. I can’t believe I’m making you cry, I’m so sorry baby.” This time it was you who pulled away, taking his face in your hand.

“No, you know I always want you to take care of yourself, please don’t ever forget to just because of me,” You caressed his cheek, your heart breaking from how his lips were frowning. “I’m so sorry for raising my voice at you, you didn’t deserve that. I’ll never do that again, I promise.”

“And I promise I’ll never act cold towards you again baby, not once. God, I’m so sorry.” You hugged again, for how long you weren’t sure but you were more than happy to make up for the time lost without being able to cling onto him.

After a while, he slowly pulled away. “You just have to finish this plate okay? There’s just a little more, you can finish it baby,” His hand was holding yours, his thumb caressing the back of it. You nodded. He continued to feed you until the last spoon. “You wait here, okay? I’ll go wash the plate then I’ll fill a bottle with water for you to drink in bed, okay?” He got up and kissed your forehead before moving to the kitchen. Your head was pounding a bit more, so you laid your head on the headrest.

Immediately after he came back, he took your hand to slowly lead you into the bedroom. He got out of the bedroom for a while before coming back in with a fever cooling patch in hand which he gently stick onto your forehead. He put your hair up into a bun so your hair wouldn’t stick to your neck from the sweat. Though a bit messy, the gesture didn’t fail to make your heart light up. He made sure you didn’t sleep with the blanket so heat from inside of your body could come out. He didn’t too, so you wouldn’t have to face the coolness of the night alone, but he made up for it by cuddling.

You laid in silence, afraid to break it. Were you okay now? Could you finally hug and kiss him all you want now? Would he continue calling you his favourite pet names for you?

“Y/n,” He suddenly interrupted the silence. “I really am sorry. I don’t know why or how I could even think of treating you like that. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.”

“It’s fine, Bin. I always want you to think of yourself first. I’m happy when you do. It’s my fault for letting my temper get the best of me. I was having a bad day, and my period was on the way, but still, that’s no excuse for treating you like that. I promise I’ll work on it.”

“You know you can talk to me whenever you’re not feeling well, right?” You hummed in response. “Good… Let’s never do that again, okay? I couldn’t really focus on doing anything when all I could think about was the next time I could finally kiss you again.” You chuckled and looked up.

“Well now is a great time for that,” You smiled, and as he leaned into you, it finally dawned on you. You stopped him with your palm on his lips. “Wait, no! I’m having a fever, we can’t kiss! We shouldn’t even be sleeping so close, you’ll get infected!” You tried to push him away, but he only pulled you closer, putting his strength to use.

“Then you’ll take care of me won’t you?” He grinned, coming closer, kissing all over your face.

You slept that night in the arms of each other. You stayed in bed until evening, even when both of you were awake, just to be able to stay close together. The next day, you temperature slowly lowered, unlike Changbin’s. You had nagged him, telling him how you had told him to not be too close to you. But you didn’t mind having to take care of him. At this point, you’d do anything for him. For your heart, your love, your everything.

#stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #skz #skz fluff #changbin #seo changbin #changbin fluff #changbin drabble #seo changbin x reader #skz changbin #changbin x reader #— arie's collection 📮

[vivisviolets]

˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅~you received a lost package~⑅♡⑅⁺◛˖

🎁⁀➴ ✉ Energy check-in

📦⁀➴ ✉ Affirmations

📮⁀➴ ✉ Quotes

*cw* post longer than my temu package's tracking history 💀

˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅ -pick the package image you feel most drawn to- whatever caught your eye first upon seeing this post is most likely *your* pile!!!! but oh ofc you can also ease yourself, close your eyes, focus on your current state of mind/your life, and then ask yourself/spirit/God what pile has what you most need to hear rn! and pls pick more than one pile if you feel interested to do so!!! you may get messages you needed to hear across all piles yakno:))- okkkk byeeee-˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅

✉ pile 1

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Page of Pentacles, King of Wands, Nine of Pentacles ✉

✉ Earth placements, Virgo/Capricorn/Taurus, fire placements, Aries/Sagittarius/Leo, divine masculine, divine femininity, heavy heart, earthy, warm/hot, -songs Only Angel - Harry Styles, Hate Me Harder - Kesha

✉ Woo- Look at youuu-!!! Look at you go more like- like, holy ish you should have seen me tapping into your energy and pulling out the cards one after the other with such genuine eassseee the heck... -but anyways pile 1s- you are REALLY setting your heart ablaze, it's like you're purifying your heart space after a period of purging energetically... In fact for quite a while, it was a consistent purging of- a lot for you. a total rebirth through a dark forest- you are literally an adventurer traversing through a fantasy land, following the pounding of your royal blood through your heart- knowing it will lead you to your glory- I'D SO READ THAT BAHAH- anyway though, you're really filling your heart with this fire. things and opportunities that fill you with joy and make you feel so warm inside 🎇🔥. I'm hearing a lot of self focus so projects around your passions or moving yourself up towards your goals! mmhm, I'm hearing a lot of different things for the collective- I'm seeing starting up a business, independent artists of various kinds, makeup or personal care focused products, you could be selling prints, monetized pages/videos, building a website- I'm seeing Jan Levinson with her candle side business😭😭... obviously you guys definitely don't house the shadow aspects of her character in your energy (tf am I saying 💀)- what I mean to say is after a lot of melting yourself down, you are now completely reforming into something that is completely personal and your own... like scented candle making 😭👍!!!!!!!!! okkkk I'm so freaking proud of you~ and if you've felt any heaviness just from you refilling your heart with so many opportunities- please don't let that cause you ANY doubts about your endeavors because OH👏- MYGOD👏 it's all going to go so well for you. no matter any circumstances or external worries. keep goingggggggg.

🔥🌱🌳

✉ Nothing can stop me from reaching my goals

✉ Regardless, my goals always become bigger and better

✉ I always reach my goals

✉ Regardless of anything external I am fully capable of achieving all of my goals

✉ Regardless of my mindset, I am fully capable of achieving ALL of my goals

✉ My goals become better and better

✉ I find fulfillment in my goals

✉ My goals always bring me so much joy

✉ My goals always bring me so much abundance

✉ I love building up my goals to infinity and beyond

✉ I am so good at doing what brings me joy and energy

✉ My goals orbit me

✉ My dream life is already waiting for me

✉ My dream life wants me

✉ Earning my dream life is as easy as breathing

✉ I am made of my dreams and desires

✉ My dreams and desires always become mine

✉ My dreams and desires are already mine

✉ Joy and abundance fuel my dreams and desires

✉ Joy and abundance fuel my goals

✉ Every single step I take brings me closer to my goals

✉ Achieving my goals is easier then ever before

✉ My goals have been deemed to be mine

✉Achieving my goals is so easy for me because they are already mine

✉ My goals love me

✉ My goals work for me

✉ My goals work towards me

✉ I am so happy for all I have accomplished

✉ My goals reward me daily

✉ I am rewarded daily because my goals are extensions of me

✉ I am so abundant

I have always been so abundant

Everything is an extension of me, and everything rewards me

✉ Everything is an extension of me, and everything flows me to where I desire to be

✉ My work is my creativity

✉ Creativity flows through me

✉ Creativity has always been my birthright

✉ I am made of creativity

✉ I am creativity

✉ I care for myself easily

✉ My goals allow me to relax

✉ My goals love when I care for myself

✉ The more I relax the more my goals flow to me

✉ I fully trust my goals

✉ I am fully deserving of my goals

✉ I fully deserve my goals

✉ I fully deserve and allow my goals to orbit towards me

✉ I align myself fully with my goals

✉ I am aligned to my goals

✉ I align myself fully with my desires

✉ I am aligned to my desires

✉ I align myself fully with my dream life

✉ I am fully aligned to my dream life

✉ My goals are mine.

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ pile 2

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Eight of Wands (reversed), Seven of Pentacles (reversed), The Lovers

✉ Air placements, Gemini/Libra/Aquarius, earth placements, Taurus/Virgo/Capricorn, numbers 8, 7, 6, 1111, stops and starts, "air headed"/emotional/flightly described personality, healing unresolved wounds/fears, -song Love Is An Open Door - Frozen (2013)

✉ Oh my pile 2s :'), I'm pretty quick to ask how are you? seeing the certain reversals I got- one of them (Eight of Swords reversed) is definitely way more positive and a really good step in the right direction for you, it feels like a breath of fresh air!!- but it has a heaviness to it, it's a step in recovery from some baggage... and then the next one to come out felt like a real wammy- (Seven of Pentacles in reverse)... I got interrupted after a moment of being engrossed in your energy pile 2s, I feel you had a period where you felt this sense of freedom after a long while of realizing a lot of mental limitations you had that did not serve you- and so you jumped into trying and doing the opposite of those imitations!... but something might have happened that caused all that newfound sense of freedom to deflate in you- and you feel like you've gone right back to square one of how you used to feel- is that right? I find myself asking questions instead of being sure in what I am telling you, maybe that's the state that you're in currently of having all these why this? and why is that? with no feeling of hope in finding any answers, that right? <-- SEE?? there I go putting the questions back onto you instead of giving you answers:')- I'm so sorry. I'm hearing it might not have even been a big thing to have offset you as much as it did, just some sort of small trigger- it might have even just been your own pent up discouragement rearing its head at not seeing enough movement o headway in a certain aspect of your life, even with all the personal changes you were trying to create... I'm using the word trying a lot- omg this is so saddening😭... Ok, I'm going to pull myself out of this dark and dreary pity party (I don't say it in any mean way love ❤️) and take you up with me- because this place sucks and because I have got to offer you some help and some love- it's what you freaking deserve!!

-You have to address your feelings. you have to feel these emotions that are connected to all the limiting thoughts you have. you might be the type to be very flighty when it comes to your emotions- and there is a bright side to that trait that is beautiful and free and I don't think you should get ride of that!! but you're relying and using the shadow aspect of that trait by continuing to fly away to the externals first as to fix the limiting beliefs when really, the way to fix the external- is through the internal. do it for yourself, do it out of love for yourself. give yourself the space, time, patience and love that you deserve. heal your discouragement by allowing it to just be a feeling, and allow it to past like all feelings do. once you start healing and spending time and love on yourself- literally EVERYTHING in your life is going to blossom- love and freedom will be blossoming!!!! and you will be soaring stronger then ever before. oh my gosh-goodness I've gone on, but again- you deserve patience, love, and a space for healing- and I hope I was able to be that my pile 2s~ 🕊

(*reading your energy I know you may be cynical to these affirmations- again please address your limiting thoughts babe because they ain't getting you no where no how, and allow yourself just a little bit of trust. you don't have to even believe the affirmations, just read them/speak them. allow them <3.~*)

🕊🌅☁️

✉ I allow myself to heal

✉ I am patient with myself

✉ I allow my internal healing to play out

✉ I have full trust in my healing journey

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more free I become

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more I receive what I desire

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more I accomplish

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the better and better life gets for me

✉ I align myself to love

✉ I align myself to joy

✉ I align myself to abundance

✉ I align myself to peace

✉ I align myself to my self love

✉ I align myself to my inner joy

✉ I align myself to my inner abundance

✉ I align myself to my self peace

✉ I am in alignment with myself

✉ I am capable of receiving all that I dream of and desire

✉ I am capable of giving and receiving love

✉ I am capable of self love and self care

✉ I am always capable because I am enough

✉ I am deserving of healing

✉ I am deserving of what I will accomplish

✉ I am deserving of love, healing, freedom, and to know myself better

✉ I deserve to be healed

✉ I deserve to be limitless

✉ I deserve to love myself

✉ I deserve love

✉ When I change, my reality follows

✉ I make the choice to heal myself

✉ I make the choice to love myself unconditionally

✉ I make the choice to allow self growth

✉ Regardless of anything external, I allow myself full self love

✉ Regardless of anything external, I allow myself to fully heal

✉ I release what no longer serves me

✉ I release what does not serve me and reclaim my energy

✉ I call all of my energy back to me

✉ My path ahead is full of healing, love, beauty, abundance, joy and freedom

✉ I trust my path

✉ I will be successful

✉ I trust that my path is full of abundant success that expands

✉ I am already successful

✉ Success is already mine

✉ I trust that success will flow into my life

✉ My success will build and expand

✉ I know that my success will be full of all my desires

✉ I am deserving of my success

✉ I desire to be successful

✉ I allow my success to flow into my life

✉ I trust my success

✉ I trust that success always finds me and I always find success

✉ Everything I desire will find me

✉ Everything I desire will flow into my life

✉ ✉ ✉

(*idk why but extra quotes for you~ ur favored fr~*)

✉ pile 3

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Three of Swords (reversed), Ace of Wands (reversed), Nine of Swords (reversed)

✉ Air placements, Libra/Aquarius/Gemini, water placements, Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio, numbers 2, 222, 2222, 1212, 2424, 444, old connections, not needed, present-day path, planting seeds, blunt/honest/levelheaded/practical/mature/grown described personality, "he said- she said-", divided energies, feminine intensity, masculine intensity, commonly used emojis 💗, 🔥, 💀, -song Bloodline - Ariana Grande, Stray Kids (?), Enough - Jess Glynne

✉ For the first time in maybe over 3 years, my brain began to play Bloodline by Ariana Grande as soon as I tapped into your energy- I'm getting you may definitely have prominent air or water placements, more so Cancer, and Libra- other air and water placements too and oh gosh I'm realizing that those are Ariana's signs in her big 3- I do not think I'm connecting wrongly though,- I'm seeing that there are some of you that are either listeners/relate to Ariana, and the other camp is completely indifferent/are not in that fan base at all in which case I'm probably turning you off of this reading 😭😭- yea I'm totally seeing 2 separate camps in this pile rn, this divide of either very fem/fem baddies (that whole Thank U, Next album was very much in that whole aesthetic)- or very masc aesthetic/personality (not gender specific btw- this is fully afab/amab safe)... I randomly typed a fire emoji and heard the word "lit" immediately- so for my masc group you guys are described like that and or aim for that aesthetic- but my fems here are seen as that too 🔥 I'm hearing, like that description isn't gender-expression exclusive 💗🔥. again now there's more music coming through- for my mascs it's K-pop, K-indie, K-rock, K-Metel.. This is so weird to hear because i know nothing about that scene (someone here likes jazz tf- okkkk😭)... two very different and... stubborn- towards each other?- energies rn.

Ok, I'm going to actually get into what's going on as best I can for the collective- I'll be honest, this energy is all over the place, and I'm having a hard time reading or relating specifically to just one group of people rn like- 💀💀💀... I'm hearing the phrase "he said- she said-" so honestly I could be describing two people who are in/were in a relationship of some kind, a feminine and a masculine- (again, afab/amab safe!! and take what resonates) so you could be the feminine reading this and this is about a masculine who's heavy on your heart, or you could be the masculine in this and this is concerning your feminine whom you're really messed up over. and for both of these situations, it's really mutual that you two cut each other deep in the heart space 💀- like fr there is history that has occurred between you two and something happened that really made the mark that you guys left on each other's hearts- open up and start bleeding... and I'm literally just standing here watching the intensity of you two gazing at each other-... I'm seeing this scene of the feminine wanting to close her door but just continuing to stare at the masculine who could have stormed off but instead is still standing on the welcome mat, staring back into the eyes of the feminine- AND I'M STANDING IN THE HALLWAY OF THIS APARTMENT COMPLEX LIKE... I'm just trying to pass through to go feed my cats 💀...

I fr don't know what to say,- and that is so not like me at all. I'm just so heavily in this energy and there are literally two energies coming in and are weirdly connected to each other- AND they are both stubborn as hell. YOU TWO ARE BOTH stubborn as hell 😭. in fact, you two are so similar that when you have a problem with each other- no one can get a foot in the door to help. because you two are literally so on the same level mentally, that you can literally continue your intense stare-down with your friends trying to get in the middle to put the situation on ice- but you both continue to set each other's souls ablaze... you two need a retreat away from each other BAHAH 💀. God, again I do not know what to say because not only are you stubborn and intimidating asf, you are also very mature (referring to a singular person again whew), and you have the (emotional) receipts to back up how intense you can be- (I cannot figure out where to put this but it keeps weighing heavy that some of you are even parents/have young kids you have to be thinking about constantly)- you know bullshit like the back of your hand and I know you'll def be eying my words rn like a hawk... wasn't I suppose to give you affirmations 😭????? *nervous laughter fr* jokes aside- I'm going to stand my ground to you,- I can feel it and see it in the eyes I'm being shown- you've been through a lot. you have a past that is heavy and it's weighed on you since you were just a little girl/little boy/little child. you had to mature fast in the way you did out of your own survival. and that has done what it has done- but what about now? yes, you can do and act however you want to. you've earned your living! as you believed you needed to, had to, and would do- but for someone so confrontational about other's behavior- why can you not do the same for your own? you're usually right with the conclusions you come to about situations and other people with all the shit you've seen- so why not face yourself with that same focus? just as you question other people's behavior, already knowing the truth about them- you can do that very thing to yourself.

question yourself- why does this person trigger you the way that they do? when this person triggers you, what are you reminded of? are you reminded of another person or situation? are you reminded of your family growing up? are you reminded of your father? or mother? or relatives?- does this person who triggers you- remind you of yourself?... do the heavy walls you built when they were required to survive, serve you now? because I think it's what's inside the walls that needs stabilizing.

WOOO I just gave tougher love then I have ever done before- but I freaking had to get through to you love!! I really hope I did, whatever vulnerable emotion you are feeling right now if you've read this far of what I've channeled for you- please know that you have people you can go to with these emotions. this isn't like when you were growing up, you are safe. you are safe to be fully you, every piece of you that you had to lock away or armor up is safe now- thanks to the life you are building for yourself. I'm hearing a saying about how when you cut a tomato, you get a bunch of seeds- and you can plant those seeds, and with your work and patience, you get more tomatoes!! and that's what you've done- taken the small seeds and grew things up for yourself. so please enjoy all your hard work, PLEASE- show all those parts of you love. plant those seeds that you had to lock away and allow them to blossom and finally see the sunlight you created. again, I really am seeing that you do have safe options to turn to for support, definitely personal support- friends I'm mostly seeing- people outside of your old family/upbringing...

if you're in an intense relationship of some kind (said person could even be someone you've known since childhood/earlier years) like what I was channeling earlier, then I'm seeing that could be a perfect opportunity to turn to people for support- and oh my gosh honey you're going to be so loved. you already are, people love you and want you to open up more to them- I'm just seeing you opening up more as being both healing and strengthening for you, but also for your relationships 💗. this is so sweet, you have some sweet people around you that you fully deserve (for those with kids I see you taking so much more healthy joy in being a parent and you connecting with your little ones so beautifully- I'm seeing dancing in the kitchen especially 😭💗). but just to be inclusive to everyone here, you of course don't have to open up to others- I see seeking some professional guidance of some kind would also be incredibly beneficial (also spiritual guidance if you have an interest in that), and also you of course always have yourself. so go inward and see how you can show up for yourself better!!!

alright whew I know that reading might not have been for everyone but it was strong so I know that this reading is for someone💗🔥 so it was a pleasure. anddd my apologizes for the full read yikezies 💀-

💗🔥💀

✉ I am safe

✉ I create a safe space for myself

✉ I have created a safe space for myself

✉ I am in a safe place

✉ I am safe to express and feel my emotions

✉ My emotions are mine and I am free and safe to express them

✉ My environment is safe and fully mine

✉ I choose to feel safe

✉ I allow myself to be vulnerable

✉ I allow myself to feel what as hurt me

✉ I allow myself to be bitter

✉ I allow myself to cry

✉ I allow myself to be angry

✉ I allow myself to grieve

✉ I allow parts of me that do not serve my highest good to pass

✉ I allow what does not serve me any longer to leave my body and exit out of my life

✉ I allow the most vulnerable parts of me to be healed

✉ I allow the most vulnerable parts of me to exist

✉ I respect my vulnerability to be as it is

✉ I love my vulnerability

✉ I allow myself to be patient towards my life

✉ I am patient with myself

✉ I allow myself to release control in my life and surrender to my healing journey

✉ I have released control and am now in a state of healing

✉ I allow myself to prioritize my needs fully

✉ I am my first priority

✉ I allow myself to feel taken care of

✉ I am taken care of

✉ I allow myself self love and self growth

✉ I am focused on giving myself the love I deserve

✉ I allow myself to be emotionally open

✉ I am emotionally open towards myself

✉ I show up for myself

✉ I allow myself to connect to my heart and give love to those I trust

✉ I am open to people I trust

✉ I am shown who I can trust and I allow my heart to open

✉ I am protected and surrounded by people who I trust

✉ I am protected and surrounded by love and those who I can love safely

✉ I am protected and surrounded by abundance and success regardless of any externals

✉ I deserve to be trusted and I am worthy to share my trust

✉ I deserve to be loved and I am worthy to share my love

✉ I deserve abundance and I am worthy to share my abundance

✉ I deserve success and I am worthy to share my success

✉ Trust is my birthright

✉ Love is my birthright

✉ Abundance is my birthright

✉ Success is my birthright

✉ Stability and loyalty is my birthright

✉ Regardless of others actions- I am deserving of trust, love, abundance, success, stability, and loyalty

✉ I accept the truth that it is my birthright, and that I am inherently deserving of trust, love, abundance, success, stability, and loyalty

✉ I allow myself to live my life knowing those truths

✉ I allow myself to breathe through my whole body and begin to shed all that no longer serves me

✉ I trust myself and I trust my journey

✉ I allow myself to be healed

✉ I am capable of being healed

✉ I am healing

✉ I am healed

✉ I allow myself to view my life as my own

✉ My life is my own, and I live by my love, joy, and peace

✉ I allow myself to see life as enjoyable

✉ I am capable of viewing life as enjoyable and all that can bring me joy

✉ I enjoy viewing my life as fun and full of joy and peace

✉ I allow myself to have fun with myself and those I love

✉ I am capable of having fun with myself and those I love

✉ I love having fun in my life and sharing that with those I love

✉ I fall in love with myself, and find someone to share it with

✉ ✉ ✉

✉

✉

✉

✉ oh praise be we're done~ byeeeee till next time

✉ ✉ ✉ love, vi~♡

#୨୧┈♡ vi post #୨୧┈♡ vi pac #pac #tarot #pick an image #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a card reading #affirmations #self concept affirmations #self concept #affirm and persist #omg this was so so fun thooo affirmation pacs!!!! i cant wait to make another one soonnn♡ #....thats shorter lolll