FFT: back where you came from; ray palmer
So this came into my main’s ask a looooong time ago. So long ago, in fact, that I cannot remember who sent it to me at all. But it’s for Ray Palmer / Atom from Legends of Tomorrow? And I kind of liked it, so I decided what the hell. Put it onto this blog.
Ray and Tanzie are sequestered in another decade together and things are... Tense. But after a peek into Tanzie’s journal, Ray starts to see the situation and his feelings for what they are and act on them.
Ray Palmer x OFC, Tanzie
uhhh... nothing beyond fluff, nope.
“Bet you’ll be glad to get back to our time.” - the statement had Ray looking up from a fried communications device that he was attempting to patch fix and he studied Tanzie intently for at least three seconds before finally asking, “Why?”
“Oh, well.. Because there’s probably someone waiting on you..” Tanzie was almost wishing she hadn’t started the conversation now, because she could just sense it in Ray, he was annoyed at being stuck in the year 1950 with her, of all people.
Maybe if it’d been one of the other women on the team or something, Tanzie thought to herself regretfully, he wouldn’t be working himself to death in an attempt to get us back to the time we belong in. Kind of sucks because he has not one clue how crazy I am about him and how this whole situation is.. Kind of a fantasy setting for me.
Ray studied the petite brunette sitting to his left with a concerned look and a raised brow. If he didn’t know any better, he’d almost swear that she seemed.. Hesitant to get back to their time. Surely she had to miss the conveniences, -or whatever special person she has in her life, that last thought hit Ray a little bitterly as he watched her when she wasn’t really looking at him. He pushed the destroyed communications devices to the side and he took a deep breath.
It was hard to get his head around, doing this again… Knowing how close he wanted to get to her and knowing that lately, she seemed to be distancing.. Even harder when he took into account that he was starting to realize that maybe he’d been getting feelings for her before whatever made her decide to start keeping her distance. Now, here they were, stuck in another time and he was trying to figure out just how to go about doing it without telling her at least half of how he felt lately.. Or confront her on why she was being distant..
“Aren’t you?” he asked after a few seconds.
Tanzie hesitated in answering and eventually, rather than give her honest answer, - “No” she looked at her feet and shrugged as a non verbal answer. The shrug seemed easier than just spilling everything.
“I asked a question, Tanzia.” Ray wasn’t sure why he felt the burning urge to press for an answer, but there he was doing so. He took a deep breath and eyed the device he’d been attempting to patch fix before rubbing at his temples. He could already feel a migraine setting in.
… he’s really going to force me to answer him… Tanzie swallowed hard and after a few seconds, she spoke up quietly. “Not particularly, no.”
Her answer caught Ray off guard and he coughed and eyed her, a brow raised. She’d seemed off lately, like something was really bothering her but if anyone tried to get her to talk she’d leave the room or change the subject, -especially if it’s me trying, he thought to himself, then again she’s also been pretty damn good at avoiding me too..
“Why not? I mean.. If you don’t mind me asking.” the question was harmless enough so when she tensed up, Ray looked at her in confusion and he almost told her she didn’t have to answer, but instead, she snapped “Because I just don’t, okay? Damn. If you went back to the emptiness I did or knew half of the shit I don’t say.. Nevermind, I’m not talking about this, especially not with you, okay?”
Tanzie wasn’t sure why she was so edgy about it beyond her feelings for Ray Palmer and how dangerously close she was to outing herself in that regard, but she was snapping before she could stop herself. “I can’t sit around here and do nothing. I’m gonna go into town and get clothes and stuff. We might be here a while.”
Before Ray could even ask why his question upset her so much, she was bolting out the door of the little house they’d set themselves up in to do recon for the mission. “What’d I do?” he wondered aloud as he stretched and rubbed at his eyes to lessen the chance for eye strain.
Something about what she said before storming out ate at him for the next few hours and upon further thought, Ray realized that he honestly didn’t know their newest team member that well. He’d been so caught up in the aftermath and grieving Norah Dahrk when she arrived that he’d pretty much shut himself off from everyone. She tried over and over to befriend him then, and while he’d let her in a little, he’d kept things purely superficial, so as a result, he wasn’t really retaining anything she might have volunteered about herself.. He thought he’d been playing it smart, he had the thought, but what he’d really been doing was being a coward and giving up before he ever gave anything between them a chance to happen, too afraid to lose her to risk letting her in all the way like he had with others in the past.
He stood to walk into the kitchen and grab something to drink and a snack and his eyes settled on the little black notebook she was always writing in, lying open on the counter. He told himself that even glancing at the page it was open to was a bad idea, but he still found himself doing that very thing.
One page lead to another and the next few lead to backtracking all the way to the beginning of the journal.. Which she’d apparently been keeping since she became a Legend… The entries about himself were… Enough to leave him sitting there, re thinking every single run in or assignment they’d done together and the way he’d sort of seemed distant and cool according to what she wrote in the pages of that journal… Thanks to those things, she thought he hated her -and she still volunteered to stay behind in 1950, why? If it had been me, I would have just abandoned me and left with the team.. That thought baffled him, why would she do that?
He started to read ahead to the latest entries and it hit him like a speeding car.. They’d been the only two awake on the Wave Rider one night and over a few beers, they’d had a really long and revealing conversation and apparently, during that, her desire to become his friend turned to her, starting to realize that he was the one person she’d ever really clicked with or bothered getting to know.. That she thought she might even love him.
The front door opened just as he put the diary back onto the counter and he stepped into the living room, studying her intently… Noticing all these little things he hadn’t before. Like the way her eyes seemed to be this almost milk chocolate brown.. Or the way her hair curled at the ends.. Or the soft and heavy accent.
He realized he’d zoned out when she stood in front of him, head tilted slightly, trying to shove a shopping bag into his hand. The words in her diary came rushing back to him and the bag hit the floor of the living room with a soft rustle as it clicked into place what he wanted to do right then.
“Ray are you…” she started to ask if he was alright, but instead, she found herself being backed against the archway separating the living room from the kitchen and she felt his hands grip at her hips clumsily. “Ray? What the…” her words were cut off somewhere between hell and are you doing as his mouth crashed into hers, his teeth tugging at her lip as his tongue trailed over her mouth and slipped between the barrier created by her lips. When her brain finally caught on to what was going on, she responded, a hand raising to grab at the front of the sweater vest he wore, raising to tiptoe so that it was easier for her mouth to meet his mouth in the kiss. The hand gripping the sweater vest raised to grip his jaw instead and Ray groaned, his fingers digging into her hips as he struggled to breathe without breaking the kiss.
“I don’t want to stop but I… Breathe.. I need to breathe..” she muttered as she backed away, both of them wiping at their mouths, her startled wide eyed expression making him chuckle and lean down and into her, his forehead against hers after he slid his hands down from her hips and gripped her ass, pulling her up closer a little. “Everything okay, Tanzie?”
“I.. think so.. Why did you… do that?” Tanzie eyed him as she worked to catch the breath stolen by his kiss and Ray chuckled quietly. “Maybe I was thinking about how much being stuck in 1950 with you is not a bad thing at all. I mean.. We can actually get to know each other and we work pretty damn well together.”
“When I’m not annoying you? I thought..”
“You weren’t annoying at all. I’m glad you kept trying to reach out, I was.. In a pretty dark place.”
“I don’t blame you though.. Are you sure you’re okay? I mean..”
Ray chuckled and shrugged. “ I think I will be. C’mon.. Let’s have a look at the stuff you got while you were out.”
“Okay, but I’m warning you.. I’m not exactly a fashion expert.. Or a cook.. Or..” Ray’s finger against her lips silenced her words and he muttered quietly, “It doesn’t matter, okay? We’re here together and we’re gonna make it through this together.”
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