#(and they like telling stories abt certain ones bc when they lived on the streets scars were considered Badges Of Honor (tm))

[theaterism]

scars, for all three!

all about health - accepting

scars:  how many scars does my muse have? where are they located on my muse’s body? how did they get them? what do they look like? 

gosh i’m crying they have so many-

the triplets all have a knife scar on one palm. palms don’t scar easily, so the wound itself was rather deep. the scar is a white line that could be mistaken for simply a normal crease on first glance. in fact, it follows the head line on their palms very closely. foxtrot has this scar on his right hand, while charlie and victor have it on their left hands. there isn’t any real significance to this — the person who inflicted the cuts was just distracted when he got to foxtrot and got his lefts and rights mixed up (they were all meant to have the scar on their left hand).

(unnecessary bit of lore: a group of criminals in wetherton gave them these scars. this is their typical punishment for thieves who make the mistake of stealing from them. it was originally a drunken suggestion by one member of the group, but the leaders took it to heart. they take an odd sense of pride in being well-versed in history. they saw the punishment as a clever reference to the fact that thieves in medieval wetherton would sometimes lose a hand if they were caught stealing. in comparison, they saw a scar across the palm as rather merciful.)

foxtrot has many scars, many of which suggest he doesn’t have the greatest sense of self-preservation. most are from rough living prior to reaching the theater, but there are some older ones from the mansion and some newer ones from being a bit reckless. on the left side of his face, there’s a thin scar from his jawline to his cheek. he got this from broken glass when he was a child. there’s a large, patchy reddish-pink scar along his left forearm from a deep second-degree burn. he got treatment for it eventually because it was healing poorly on its own, but it was pretty serious and left a serious scar as a result. a freight-hopping incident left a jagged scar on his right shin. the thin scars on the sides of his fingers are from a foolish gamble. the scar curving up the side of his left palm is from a botched con where he may have gotten slightly hit by a car. he has other scattered scars from various mishaps. most of them are usually hidden beneath his clothing. people are most likely to notice the ones on his hands and face, and sometimes a slanted one on his collarbone. he doesn’t mind if someone calls these ones out; he enjoys inventing stories about where he got them. he’ll invent a story about the burn scar on his forearm if anyone ever spots it, but he prefers hiding it.

charlie was an energetic and impulsive child who sought out adventures whenever possible. she also wanted attention and sometimes resorted to causing trouble to earn it (when she decided any attention was better than none at all). her rebelliousness in the mansion left her with many bruises and scrapes and a few scars, especially on her arms and legs (from falling out of trees, tripping in the house, etc.). crashing into a bookcase during a fierce game of tag also gave her a faint scar on her temple. months after leaving the mansion, charlie taught herself how to ride a stolen bike. this was mainly because she was bitter her parents had deemed it an unnecessary skill and never bothered to teach her. she crashed several times, grazing both knees badly enough to get scars, but succeeded in learning how to bike in the end. charlie’s scars are sometimes more noticeable than foxtrot’s since she doesn’t mind wearing shorts or short sleeves, especially in warmer weather.

part of victor’s magic means he neither bleeds nor scars easily. when he does get hurt, he heals quickly. he dislikes his magic and sometimes wants nothing more than to be rid of it, despite knowing it comes in handy while working as both a stagehand and a dockhand. regardless, it has saved him from injuries several times. as a result, the scar on his palm is the faintest. he only has a few other minor scars from accidents on the docks, mostly on his forearms.

#magickedhat #(hi as usual i rambled agsgdg) #(thank u for this tho!!) #(i rlly am crying bc fox and charlie got several scars for such dumb reasons) #(and they like telling stories abt certain ones bc when they lived on the streets scars were considered Badges Of Honor (tm)) #(someone expresses concern for them now and they’re just Ah-) #(kids please……..) #(maybe i’ll post a starter abt this later today who knows agsgdg) #|☆| inbox #|☆| headcanons #|☽| charlie ( nice rabbit ) #|☽| foxtrot ( clever fox ) #|☽| victor ( gentle bear ) #scars //

[ibblescribbles-archive]

Can you tell us a bit about Elliot? He's so pretty ❤

Sure!! I really need to sit down and organize info about my oc's somewhere ;v; I used to have a toyhou.se but is that even a thing anymore? I have a personal discord where I dump info abt my oc's, but having somewhere more public and organized would be nice too, bc rn I just kinda sit on them and spit art out every so often. I also want to develop them more as I feel like I get really focused on their designs and certain aspects of their personality and backstory w/o fully fleshing out them as a character and the overall story ^^; I'll put the info under the cut:

Eliot is a kid with a lot of pent up anger and resentment towards the world and his family. Think peak teenage angst/angy boy. The song "Boys Will Be Bugs" by cavetown is like. a perfect song for him honestly, he's pretty wrapped up in that whole toxic masculinity that a lot of teenage boys go through. Throughout his story he ranges from like 15ish to adulthood, but I usually draw him as a kid.

He's very short, just under 5ft, and is insecure about it. He wears platform sneakers most of the time to compensate for it. He's very irritable and not good at controlling his temper, so he's not friendly with most people. He has a complicated relationship with his older sister who he holds a grudge against, although they were close when they were younger. Before leaving home, he was a pretty pure and good natured kid. Trauma will do that to u ig!!!!

At school he hangs out with the delinquent crowd and he spent a few years living somewhat rough and on the streets despite being from a well off family. He was always the odd one out in his family, as he was the child of an affair. He often stays out late and picks fights whenever someone pisses him off, which you can imagine is very easy to achieve. He's not very strong, being small, but he's pretty fast and uses his petite nature to his advantage, jumping around and using momentum (I've been watching Tokyo Revengers recently and Mikey's fighting style is actually pretty similar to what I imagine LOL). He often picks fights he cant win though bc of his temper, so he ends up with injuries a lot. Eliot hates sweet things and prefers bitter and sour candy. He drinks his coffee black and insists he likes it that way (but its a taste he forcefully acquired bc he thought it would make him "cooler". he doesnt even like coffee that much.) He's pretty tsundere, he gets embarrassed and blushes easily but deflects it with anger. He always has messy hair, which runs in the family. He has a very specific idea of what is "cool" and not, but it often deviates from the norm, meaning he has a shit sense of fashion. He likes graphic tees with stupid phrases/images on them. Because he now lives with his sister, she often picks out clothes for him so his casual clothes can often be feminine. Despite having issues with toxic masculinity, he actually has no qualms about wearing "girl" clothing, and he's also gay. he has a bf who is my friend's oc, but when they initially met they clashed a lot. oh and he likes ear piercings a lot ssdKSDF i think thats probably enough infodumping abt him for now, i hope you feel like you know him a bit better now! i'd like to tell his story more one day, im just not sure how yet :,)

#ibbleoc_eliot #askibble #anonymous #i did not proofread this so sorry if there are any mistakes #i gotta eat now

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

[outrotearbias]

@mccnhild tagged me in a few tags and 1) thank you!!! 2) since i’m apparently incapable of not talking abt myself on all platforms including what was meant to be a thirst blog for bts, but i haven’t actually like. said any concrete facts about myself lmao i figured i should actually talk about myself on here?? so this is a good opportunity to do that

uh well the first one is the bias selfie tag and everyone else might be cute enough to do that but i would honestly rather swallow a bee whole than directly compare myself to yoongi LIKE. i just. no. so i’ll just post a selfie. i almost never take pictures of myself so i really did not have much to choose from, ignore the janky lipstick and extremely yellow light lmao. i took these on the night that i went to go see burn the stage and YES i looked and felt extremely out of place #armysneedgothrepresentation

hate that these are so large but idk how to work tumblr despite having it since 2010

“get to know me” tag:

Nicknames/Pet names:  literally so boring lmfao, just em or emmy (although if you do call me emmy and you’re not a close family member i will be legally obliged to murder you). my grandma calls me milunia sometimes which is like a polish nickname for emily i think? that’s probably my only nickname that i actually like the sound of

Zodiac: this might get me killed for admitting this on tumblr dot com but i could literally care less about astrology. i’m a taurus but i don’t rly identify w it or care

Height: like 5′3.75 and yes i’m pretentious for not just saying 5′4 but that’s my truth

Last Movie: i literally never watch movies uhhh i think the last one was venom? i hate marvel movies normally but i will literally endure anything for tom hardy

Last Thing I Googled: "movies 2018″ bc i knew the last movie i watched was pretty recent but i couldn’t remember it lmfao

Favorite musician: radiohead, city and colour, alexisonfire, daughter, and this group that’s called bts i think??? 

Songs Stuck In My Head: desire by ateez, their new album BANGS and this song in particularly is so catchy 

Other Blogs: @thedalishelves is my main and @calebandnott is my semi/mostly-inactive critical role blog. i’ve had like a billion others but those are the ones that are (ostensibly) active

Do I Get Asks?: i used to a lot but all of the blogs i got a lot of asks on are either deleted or i don’t use them much anymore. i do kinda miss it sometimes but also now no one asks me to diagnose them or tells me their trauma in detail so it’s a toss up really

Dream Trip: i have a phobia of traveling lmfao so it’s more about who i’m with rather than the destination? like i don’t really care at all about seeing new places, more about just being with someone that i like away from daily life for a bit. that being said i do wanna go to paris before i die. also italy and poland to like. connect w my ancestry or w/e lmfao

Amount of Sleep: when i just let my body do its thing (which has been almost all the time lately as i don’t have classes any more and my job has irregular hours) i naturally sleep for abt 9-10 hours. and yes that’s a lot and YES it sucks

Lucky Number: i mean it’s not lucky but i have a Thing abt the number 3 in certain situations

What I’m Wearing: sweats and hoodie bc i’m at home and if u wear anything other than comfy clothes at home. i have nothing to say to u

Favorite food: don’t rly have one atm

Dream job: english professor!!! i’m nearly half way through my phd so. almost there! (if any jobs ever open up 💀💀💀 might get to fulfill this dream in about 40 years or so)

Play any instruments:  i used to play the piano and the baritone (lmfao) but i’ve long abandoned them

Languages: obvs english, EXTREMELY bad french that i can passably read, sort of write, almost completely cannot speak and definitely cannot understand. also i took a year of arabic during my undergrad but i only remember how to kind of read the alphabet. and i have a pretty sizable polish vocabulary (considering i don’t speak it) but absolutely do not know ANY grammar, so the best i could do is throwing random polish words into english sentences. so. basically just english and reading in french

Random fact: *vegan voice* HI I’M A VEGAN

15 questions tag:

Are You Named After Someone: yeah emily brontë bc my mom loved wuthering heights lmfao. in hindsight.. really indicative of how my life would turn out (both in the whole ‘i love reading and i’m doing an english phd’ thing and also the gothic tragic horror lmfao)

When was the last time you cried: yesterday about 461 times. sometimes it be like that

Do You Have Kids: yes one beautiful little tabby cat named faye, i adopted her in august and she’s 3 years old now and extremely annoying and also perfect

Do You Use Sarcasm A Lot: i used to a lot more but now i’m too paranoid abt people hating me and thinking i’m negative so i try not to

What’s the First Thing You Notice About Someone: if they’re a threat or not (either in the immediate physical sense, like seeing someone walking down the street towards me, or in the more complicated sense that i can’t be bothered getting into now and yes i’m aware this is a depressing answer)

Eye Color: dark green

Scary Movie or Happy Ending:  what a weird thing to juxtapose lmfao ig i’m a bit too much of a wimp to watch scary movies often so happy ending? i’m really not one to need happy endings in a movie/story though

Any Special Talents: I Cannot Stress Enough How Untalented I Am. anything that i’m good at is due to dedicating A LOT of time and practice to it.

Where Were You Born: toronto

Hobbies: video games are definitely my main hobby. other than like, listening to music and indulging in whatever obsession i currently have (like bts for instance) all i do is play video games. reading isn’t a hobby anymore, bc even though it occupies most of my time, it’s all for school

Pets: seems pretty redundant to ask about children and pets in one tag. but in addition to my own cat, my family also has a cat named chloe who is super gross but also i love her to death and i think she might actually be an angel. if you could not tell i am completely a cat person and plan on adopting 300

How Tall Are You: let’s go w the less pretentious answer of 5′4 this time even if it’s 0.25″ short of the truth

What Sports Do You Play/Have You Played: LMMMMAAAAOOOOOOOOOO DO I LOOK LIKE

Favorite Subject: i mean. english. obviously

Dream Job: since i already answered this let’s really get wild w the “dream” part of dream job. i would absolutely love to somehow become extremely rich through no work of my own, move to an isolated castle w a really big library, wifi, and like. idk an archery range and some stables w horses and a lot of cats and an incredibly hot gameskeeper that i have a passionate but somewhat detached love affair with. like i’m tryna live like a combination of enya and lady chatterley from lady chatterley’s lover except w/out the shitty husband and class critiques and soul-destroying ennui

HOO BOY i really wrote way too much huh. i’m too avoidant to tag ppl but if u read that whole mess i owe u my whole life thank u

#i don't think i've posted selfies on this blog and i probably shouldn't be worried abt it bc whatever everyone has a face but u know #i really do love tags though i like talking about myself way too much to be healthy 💀 #so thank u for tagging me marylet i enjoyed it!! i liked your answers too also absolutely buckwild learning ppl's heights you're so small!!! #granted i am only 2.75 inches taller as i mention multiple times in this tag haha

[magenta-teal]

This is me letting you go

We met exactly in one and half year ago, didnt know each other yet, well, i've heard you before, a lot, but not really paid attention. That time, i feel ur eyes judging me, thought u are the one i should avoid the most.

And then, we're going to karawang. It's the first day you finally talked to me. You asked me abt romi-dude, and i said he was the most handsome guy in the gang. You laughed at me, and i just strunted my eyebrow, feeling weird.

Turns out it was your birthday, it was so late and we didnt give u a proper wishes. Vincya made u blow up the candle with her zippo. Well, next day everyone throwed a party for u, and i dont feel like belongs to family so, i just slept on my blanket, faking to be busy.

And time passed. We got along well, but not that well. Until one day, you asked me to watch coco. I want to reject u at first, scared that we might got awkward as the movie played. But fortunately, we didnt. U even shed a tears, and u said u never cried in front of everyone but certain person. And lucky me, i am one of the kind.

And u told me abt ur stories, and i'd loved to listen every words u said. Blablabla, and u told me ur school, ur ex, ur family, and all bout stuffs. Serious matters. And u shed a tears once again. Want to give u a hug but who am i anyway?

Once again, we got along well, this time, we got along pretty well, as u ended up in same division as me, we traveled a lot, together. Bogor, bandung, medan, bali, what that was again?

And i remember the time when we had a staycation in ubud. U never been that clingy to me. U tailed me wherever i go. And for some reason, idk what, u loved to took a picture with me. It was the first time finally i feel something in u.

Do u remember? The time when we didnt go exploring ubud but swam in early morning? Time when i really want to made a group with u in our ttw camp? Time when i nagging a lot, longing for beach, and u were the one who made people going there, to fulfil my needs. U remember when we had dinner at jimbaran? We took a lot of photo. U even held my hand as if we were a real couple. U made me swing my body. I feel weird but still did it anyway.

At the end, i know it was u who always accompanied me. When i went back to dinner table after took some photos in beach, when im all alone, surprisingly u also went back and sat with me for the time being. And because of that, i cant help but seeing u as a different person.

So as we went back to jakarta, when u sat right next to me on the plane, i really cant help secretly laid my head onto ur shoulder. For a glimpse, for a second, and i could feel the warmth already.

Last, u remember when we waiting for our luggage in conveyor belt? I absent mindly dropped my trolley. Everyone laughed at me, but u. You just smiled, and helped me lifted it back.

Sometimes you surprised me with what you did. Once, you asked me going on rooftoop in the middle night, watching sky full of star with sight of pool in front of us. The next day, you asked me to accompanied you ate sekoteng at 1 AM on a narrow street at bandung. And how do i forget all of your stories on your igs? Once you told that i'm much cuter than kawa. Then you told me to picked between jeans and flanel. And you made me popped up in your 2ndary account. It might be just a birthday wishes, but it really means a lot, for me.

And soon, i realized that you always came by my bench. Once you just passed by. Once you sat on the chair next to me and asked me a things. Once you deliberately brought your laptop and worked in front of me.

People started gossiping us. Some took photo and shared it on group. Some talked behind. Some frankly asked what our relationship really are. What we did just smiled. Neither saying no nor yes.

Time passed once again, long story short u asked me to become ur fwb. Still remember the day u gave me a paper-made-flower. Idk why but i felt butterfly on my tummy. Weird. Shouldnt be that happy but i am.

Turns out it was totally wrong when i asked u to make clear abt ur feelings towards me. I shuld left it hanging but what i did was pushed u to confess. Never knew that would be bad.

Then we made some rules so no one gettin hurt. You told me not to get hard feeling. But it cant be. You know, my feelings already hard to begin with.

Till one day i felt different towards u. You changed. And I came to confront. U said u werent into relationship. I understand, as u started to avoid me, i started to forget u.

But who knows we got a long too well? We attached into each other, somehow. I started to walked away from u, but u popped up once again. Gone clingy with ur dumb smile.

Darn you, spirit of fungus.

And i couldnt resist u at a moment, i come too far by moved out and picked a house rent nearby u. Crazy, i know. And once again, u proved me u really attached to me as u always always and always asked me to had my supper with u.

I know it always been fun hanging together with u. We spent a day, a night. Talking unnecessary thing. Full of laugh. No phone, no people, no distraction. Just two of us. With our own world.

As the feelings started to blooms, i began to showed u a real side of mine. A bitchy one. Annoying, angry, meany, sucks. I got mad couple times. I talked bad. Im an asshole, i know.

Thought u would got tired and walked away from me. But it's you i know. U just being u. U put down my anger by showing me a good side of yours. And you stayed.

Then i started to questioning abt our rules. If we already did a right thing or not. Bcs if we were a real fwb, i shuldnt gone that far by got mad at u. As i start to asked u abt this relationship, u ignored me and just left everything the same.

We were going abroad together on November. Singapore. Your hometown for half a year on 2014. It was a group trip but i'm gone too far by being clingy with you. You didnt pushed me back and let everything be.

We went to USS. And we almost looked like a couple as we always riding things together on theme park. We also did a lot of couple lookalike shoot. Full of awkward pose. After all we are not a real couple.

But you surprised me by knocking my door at 7 AM. It was cloudy morning. Rainy outside. Cold. I opened the door and you straightly went to my room. Snuggled up under my blanket. And i could hear you snoring. As i'm watching you sleep, i wonder if we weren't really a couple. But no, we're not. I'm your friend, i said to myself.

Many things happened. Who knows that i would staying with you on your surgery day? I saw you screaming cause of a shoot. You made me see every single step mrs doctor did to your feet.

And i cant forget all of day we watched movie together. It was a midnight movie. We were wearing our pajamas. I didnt wear any make up and you didnt bother.

Once, you asked me to ate midnight snack on 1 AM when i already put some skincare, turned off the lamp and ready going to bed. We ended up going on conversation until 5 AM.

Sometimes you cooked for me. And you always granted my wish by making some dish my mother barely cooked.

It was sure a best day of mine.

4 months later, after i moved out to your neighborhood, you decided to left cause you cant stand living alone. Im not lying when i said, its saddening. Once i mad at you, gone clingy, questioning you all over if you would still there. But you tell me you're not going anywhere. You're not going to leave me. Then i come to trust you with disbelief.

Now you are going busy with your work. And your life, perhaps? You kinda ignoring me, not replying my text, not answering my call (okay its too exagerrated), not even read 'em. And what can i do? I dont want to ruin everything. So i just sit back and wait. I really dont want to disturb you. You have your own life.

And i'm letting you go this time. Letting you do what you wanna do. I dont want to hold you back. After all, Im just your friend. Like your other friend. But with slight of benefit which i dont know what.

Feel free to stay. Feel free to go.

So this is me unclapsing my finger.

This is my parting, my reluctance, my heartache and my final gift to you.

This is me letting you go.

[thorsthot]

anon who binged scream ! I personally like the movies, it’s not too scary (even tho I love a good creepy disgusting horror film) and I enjoy the mystery of figuring out the killer and being surprised when they kill certain ppl. Sidney got everyone killed around her simply bc… her mom was a hoe! (fine by me lmao) but damn… y’all really went after a 17 year old girl for the death and past of her mom… and continued to torment her for 3 movies…😫😭 white ppl are evil LMFOAJDJIAWBISJA!!! I also enjoy a good slasher movie without nudity/sex scenes just bc I like to watch horror movies with my little siblings when I come home from uni and we have horror movie nights (besides the point) and just sometimes sex doesn’t always need its presence in a horror film… but anywho. I’ve seen like season 1 of scream show and I don’t remember much 😭 I’ll have to rewatch it tbfh (sorry this was long but I love talking to u!!!)

wait was that ur first time watching scream ??? omg ,,, sorry if it’s not it just sounded like it a lil bit 😭🙏🏾 but i agree! the mystery element of (the first) scream is really fun. i’m a person that loves horror archetypes, and horror analysis in general because of that movie.

but yeah it’s a fun little franchise. i’ve mentioned the first and second ones in a few essays in the films relation to horror, changing the slasher genre, it’s relation to real life things etc etc. i think scream is probably one of my favorite horror films to analyze both in and out of the sense of it as a horror film.

but unfortunately, sex and other sexual matters are a rather key component of the slasher sun genre. ofc there are quite a few slasher films that don’t have full on sex scenes (and/or mention sexual topics)… it’s basically one of those things that usually go hand in hand. ie; the concept that *insert slasher* (usually jason voorhees) is really only killing people that have (pre-martial) sex.

although one of my favorite horror films is almost centered around sex, i do agree that sometimes (well, a lot of the time) it isn’t really needed to tell a story (which is one reason why i didn’t rlly like the fear street trilogy that much).

i rewatched s1 + 2 of scream the tv series last summer during lock down n basically live-blogged abt it. it was my first time watching since the series had originally aired and it was pretty fun.

#anon #sorry tht my response is long lol y’all know i loveeeee talking about horror and film #also love that u have horror nights w ur lil siblings … my big cousins and i used to do that all the time

[xavierscos]

Stuff to post w art today:

For the robosona ref:

Yup here’s my botsona!!!! Here’s some extra info on him!!!

·         He has inner fans to keep him below a certain temperature (one of them is busted)

·         If he gets too flustered/excited and goes past a certain temperature, he’ll blue screen and crash

·         If he gets too stressed he’ll do that weird color static thing computer’s do and then he’ll crash

·         Has a volume + power button on the side of his head. You can mute him by turning down his volume button (which will then result in him communicating through emojis and such)

·         He can use emojis when he’s not muted but he doesn’t really like doing that. The only emoji he uses no matter his volume level is the knife emoji

·         Can display words one at a time on his screen (the most used are: various curses such as FUCK, CUNT, ASS, SHIT; YES; NO; MOE; C-3Y). the word ERROR shows up when he crashes/does the blue screen thing

·         Pupil can change shape (hearts, eye swirls, money symbols, etc)

·         His cat companion Booby (yes based after my cat Boobs) was actually stolen! Yup! This lil bot fella stole a cat from someone’s house and the cat just ?? went with it?? And bonded with the bot??? anyways story is xai was homeless for a lot (he still is but now he travels) so every day when the person went off to work he’d sit at the fence and pet the cat bc booby would hop over it and he’d feed the cat and shit and one day he just. ran off w the cat

<b>Liquid mood-color chart </b>

Purple – standard mood, average

Pink – lovesick/lovestruck, doting, affectionate (tints the purple a bit more pink around ppl he genuinely loves buuut gets really bright when feeling Extra Affectionate)

Blue – sad, sullen (darker means feeling worse)

Red – angry, outraged (brighter means angrier)

Yellow – excited, energetic (different from happy – brighter means more energized)

Dark green – jealous, bitter, resentful

Bright green – disgusted, grossed out,

Pinkish-red – embarrassed, flustered, nervous,

Blue-green – apologetic, guilty

Neon/cyan blue – Frightened, panicking, scared

 ------

For the Duckpaw/Perse + alters

Hey yall as u kno duckpaw/perse has DID so I,, finally made art of her alters anyways let’s go

WC name | Human Name | Info | <b>How to tell if WC form is fronting</b> | <i>How to tell if Human form is fronting</i> |

 Mudpuddle | Mariana | She/Her. She’s the essential “caretaker” of the system. Makes sure the body isn’t damaged beyond repair and will take care of the body after Duck/Perse has had a bad episode. | <b>She constantly grooms her fur so it curls upwards slightly rather than Duckpaw’s straightforward style. Speaks in a soft, low tone.</b> | <I>Curls her hair w/ a curler. Wears blouses, dress pants, boots.</i> |

Patches | Dudley | They/Them. Tends to stick up more. Will front when Duck/Perse is being pressured to do shit she doesn’t like and/or recalling blocked out memories. Irritable, snarky, snide. Tends to be rather smug and a know-it-all. Yells @ ppl who pisses them off. | <b>Doesn’t groom as much as Duck or Mudpuddle, so fur kinda sinks down ish. Not really too far but. Still spiky like Duck’s. Cranky, loud. Will typically let u kno they’re fronting</b> | <i>Wears suits and ties, or dress shirts and pants. Wears hair up in a bun.</i>

Bugs | Bud | He/Him. Prefers to isolate himself, distances himself away from friends and shit. Doesn’t interact much unless necessary. Sleeps a lot and eats a lot. | <b>Will run off from camp and hide out in territory. Doesn’t groom, collects dirt in fur. Doesn’t really talk around others either.</b> | <i>Won’t change out of pajamas, doesn’t brush or wash hair, locks himself in the room.</i>

 ----

That ross/perse picture

Oooohhh boy lemme dive into the history of human au ross + Persephone real quick uh

<b>Trigger warnings: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental/emotional abuse, psychological trauma, death, pedophilia</b>

Ross had 4 other siblings and he was the youngest – his mother died after giving birth to him, so he always kinda carried around this guilt that he was the reason his mom was dead. His dad always kinda was distant/didn’t spoil him as much as the others, but he still cared for ross and shit. When ross was about 10 or so he was driving with his siblings while he talked 2 ronnie on the phone. Another car kinda rammed into them and they got in a pretty bad car wreck which Ronnie heard over the phone so he called ross’ family and shit. Reyes and hollyanne and his dad all came and a couple of ross’ siblings died on scene; he was hospitalized with one other sibling. He had a broken arm and a couple fractured ribs, bruising and lacerations but he was alive – his sibling was in a coma and didn’t come out.

Ross’ dad was kinda resentful bc he lost all of his kids besides ross and he already kinda resented ross for taking away his wife so he like. flat out ignored ross, didn’t talk to him, didn’t really do anything. Hollyanne started picking ross up to and from school bc he started missing bc his dad wouldn’t drive him. Eventually ross and his dad moved in w hollyanne and reyes (and then addar and Persephone came along). ross’ dad started saying some nasty comments over a period of a year or two that started to bring ross’ waaaayyyy down so ross turned to another guy (said guy was 18, ross was 13-14) who flattered him and told him nice shit. This guy took advantage of ross + ross’ insecurities and slept with ross more than once (despite ross saying he wasn’t comfortable the first few times)

The family caught ross + the guy in his room one night and hollyanne/reyes were pissed @ the guy bc this dude is 18,,preying on a 14 y/o so they kicked the dude out (they started filing for charges/restraining order after) but ross’ dad was pissed @ ross bc this wasn’t “right” (ross’ dad was a firm believer in abstinence and also this is an adult with a child and ross’ dad kinda blamed ross for not realizing what was happening was bad) so ross’ dad’s belittling started getting worse and worse afterwards and one day ross kinda said something back and ross’ dad hit him over the face and hollyanne/reyes were like “alright you have to go like right fucking now” so they kicked ross’ dad out and he left w/out looking back and ross hasn’t spoken to him in a while

Ross is now a bitter dude who thinks his only value in life is sex/sexual purpose and he doesn’t believe he can amount to anything good so instead of risking shit (like failing grades or job interviews or whatever) he bribes ppl 2 either do shit for him or give him shit (take a wild guess abt how the briberies work)

 Persephone has like 98% of her memories from her childhood blocked. Her mother died a little bit after her first birthday and no one knew who her dad was so she went into care under her uncle and her uncle was,, kinda poor so he had a bunch of friends/family he lived with. Persephone saw a lot of death growing up (people overdosed on drugs, sickness related, people got shot) and that kinda stuck with her through her life so she has a phobia of death stimming from that. Also some of her uncle’s friends started getting uh, handsy with her and touching her and shit so that has ,, stuck with her. She’s blocked out the memories but if she tries to recall them she’ll have a bad mental reaction. Eventually she managed to book it during the middle of another move (the family moved around a lot) and she kinda wandered the streets for a few days until hollyanne/reyes spotted her and took her in. eventually after a little bit of living w them she came out as a trans girl so now holly and reyes r helping her with her transition n shit. Also they got her professionally diagnosed

When she was in like 7th grade ross had brought home some dude he worked with on a science project. The guy was a senior but took some lower classes and shit,, also he’s addar. Anyways addar was always rlly friendly w Persephone and gave her a lot of brotherly attention and holly was eventually like “Hey do u mind babysitting ross and perse while reyes and I go out and do some errands” and addar was like “sure!!!” eventually they all got super close and addar moved in(?) so now theyre all one big happy family :”)

 Uh characters mentioned belong 2: :devberryboats: :devbabysiut: :devppurble:

((pls don’t read this if the triggers will cause bad shit just lemme kno what u wanna hear abt the history ill give u an abridged version of where ur charas r involved))