Accepted.
Dukeceit Week 2024 Day 1, Sunflowers!
Dukeceit Week 2024 is run by the amazing @imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper ! I am really hoping I can stay on track and do the rest of the days but I make no promises lol. Starting off strong with day one though!
This fic is just like pure angst! But it does have a happy or at least hopeful ending, so there's that.
I've never actually written Dukeceit so their dynamic is much more like their dynamic in Grim's The Mysterious Disappearance of Roman Grimm (One of if not my favorite Sanders Sides fics ever) than their canon dynamic but I hope you all enjoy anyway!
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55012822/chapters/139463146
The drive was long and winding and dark, the trees only visible in glimpses Remus caught from the Subaru’s high beams. The only sign of life on the West Virginia highway was the occasional headlights of a car going the other way, but those were few and far between. Remus wasn’t surprised, it was 5:37 AM.
They’d left around 4, once Remus’s breakdown had been dealt with.
The drive was long and winding and dark, the trees only visible in glimpses Remus caught from the Subaru’s high beams. The only sign of life on the West Virginia highway was the occasional headlights of a car going the other way, but those were few and far between. Remus wasn’t surprised, it was 5:37 AM.
They’d left around 4, once Remus’s breakdown had been dealt with.
“Where are we going, Jan?” Remus tried.
Janus didn’t make any indication he’d heard him, eyes looking straight through the windshield, hands holding the steering wheel steady at ten and two. His hands were, as usual, gloved, but Remus had a feeling if he’d been able to see his knuckles, they would’ve been white.
“Janus, you can’t keep ignoring me forever.” He sighed, letting his head fall against the headrest. “You’re the one who wanted to go on this crazy drive, anyway.”
“Remus… we’ll be there soon.” Janus’s voice was tight, almost strangled.
“Okay.”
“Give me twenty minutes.”
“Okay.” It came out as a whisper.
The dense forest soon gave way to thinner trees, then to flat farmland. Remus’s face went to his window to watch the soybeans and the slightly lightening sky.
Pretty soon, Remus heard the clicking of the turn signal, and Janus turned into one of the farms. Remus caught a glimpse of what looked like sunflowers before Janus slowly pulled into a worn wood barn and turned the key, cutting the engine. He tucked one leg beneath him and turned so he was facing Remus.
Janus smiled. “Tired?”
Remus knew his eyes were drooping. “Yeah.”
Just as quickly, the smile slipped from Janus’s face. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where we were going.”
“Where did we go?” Remus looked around. “We’re just in a random barn. Looks very splintery.” He grinned, trying to lighten the tension. “Might get some sort of wood-borne illness.”
Janus wrinkled his nose. “I’m not even sure those exist.”
“You never know.”
Janus moved on. “We’re not here for the barn. I’m… this is my grandfather’s farm.”
“I thought your grandpa was dead.”
“He is.” Janus said flatly. “It’s my farm now.”
“Your farm?”
“Yes, he left it to me.”
“You’ve never mentioned a farm before.”
“I didn’t want anyone to know about it.”
Remus considered for a moment. “So, this is where you’ve been going on weekends?”
Janus nodded. “My uncle looks after the place most of the time. He gets all the proceeds from the produce.” He shrugged. “I’m really just the name on the deed.”
“Mm.” Remus hummed. “Why are we here?”
“I wanted you to see the flowers at sunrise.”
“The sunflowers I just saw?”
Janus nodded again, holding out a hand to Remus. He looked at it for a moment, reached out, and squeezed it, as was their custom.
“Lets’ go.” Janus reached for his door.
Remus did the same, hopping out of the car and circling around to the other side. They walked out of the barn, Remus trailing a few feet behind Janus as he glanced around, unable to see much in the dark.
He kept following him as they walked to the sunflower field.
“Huh. I thought you closed at night.” Remus remarked to one of the yellow blooms they walked past.
“I did too, until I started helping out at the farm.” Janus led them to a small opening between a few flowers, carefully pushing one aside and ducking between them.
“How long have you been coming here?”
Janus shrugged. “A long time.”
Remus could tell when he didn’t want to talk, so he stayed quiet as they walked the narrow path between the sunflowers.
Janus abruptly stopped, and Remus almost bumped into him. “Jeez, Jan, give a guy some warning.”
“My apologies.” Janus looked over his shoulder briefly.
“Accepted.” Remus mumbled.
“Look.” Janus nodded towards the East, where the sun was beginning to crest over the horizon, painting the yellow petals in shades of red and orange.
“Wow.” Remus said softly, but he turned his face back to Janus. He felt like a sunflower himself, turning towards the brightest thing he could see.
As if he could feel his eyes, Janus turned to look at Remus, his eyes softening. “I just wanted you to see this. I made this path, a long time ago. I like watching sunrises, I always have. I figured it might calm you down.” He swallowed. “Remus… we don’t have to talk about earlier, not if you don’t want to.”
Remus closed his eyes. Did he want to talk about it?
“I don’t need you!” He snarled.
Don’t you see I need you?” Janus threw his hands up.
I don’t deserve you! Even a little bit! I don’t deserve to have you… I don’t deserve you! I don’t need you!”
He opened his eyes. “I do want to talk about it.”
Janus’s eyes flicked down to the soil, then up again to Remus. “We deserve each other, Remus. We’ve both done things we’re not proud of. You know that.”
Remus nodded.
Janus continued. “I… love you, Remus. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you, either… I just don’t want to… hurt you.”
“You only hurt me when you tell me you want to break up with me because you don’t want to hurt me.”
Remus suddenly couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Janus nodded. “Accepted.”
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Well, R.I.P. to the Subaru Legacy. 1989-2025
...And the world did not notice. XDDD I mean, *I* noticed. But no one actually owns a modern Legacy. They do not exist. No one has ever seen one in person. No one has thought, "I was going to buy a Camry, but I gotta check out the Legacy first!" I feel like at least with the Ford Fusion, people actually owned them when they left the lineup.
I should probably be attached to the Legacy name, being that I own a Legacy, but it's also... just a name? For multiple reasons. First, I'm of the personal opinion that Legacy sedans are just cars. Legacy wagons, on the other hand--that's a Subaru.
And Legacy wagons haven't been made in almost 15 years:
In that sense, the goodbye has already come and gone.
Their spiritual successor of the Legacy wagon is, of course, the Outback, which once upon a time was just a Legacy trim level, before becoming its own beast.
And its size successor, owing to the COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL VEHICLE SIZE INFLATION of the last few decades, is actually the Impreza.
Even though the Impreza has always been a "compact" car and the Legacy a "midsize," the 2024 Impreza is basically the same size (a little bigger, actually, but a little lighter; slightly less ground clearance) than the 2006 Legacy.
Remember when Foresters shared a platform with the Impreza and they were small and cute? Bygone days (green and blue are Foresters):
So really, the Legacy technically still exists--it's just called an Impreza now. Except they're hatches, not wagons (which are cool, but not as cool as wagons). Or they're sedans. But if you're a Subaru sedan and you're not a WRX or BRZ, I maintain you're just a car.
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