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frogboy0 · 3 years

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Amphibia season 1 rewatch + notes :)

So I just finished rewatching the ENTIRE season 1 of Amphibia and I have some notes on the episodes that stood out to me! There are some quick notes, a couple lengthy analyses and even some headcanons sprinkled in! It's like a written stew of season 1! I'll be doing a written Amphiba stew for season 2 too!!

It's kinda long so you could just skip this or hit the keep reading button and give it a read!

S1: E2 Cane Crazy

Anne shows general disregard over other people's things

(Mimicking Hop Pop and breaking his cane, throwing all the wood carving things that Loggle made, even a coo coo clock that she even said was nice (And for him to say it took 20 years to make right after she broke it))

S1: E2 Flood, Sweat and Tears

Anne would be the WORST during sleepovers and I LOVE IT!!! My girl is just being a tween, staying up late, playing would you rather and keeping everyone else up. I think that's ADORABLE and now I'm thinking about how sleepovers might've been back home with her, Sasha and Marcy…

She also just stays up late in general?? She reads dumb magazines and eats CRUNCHY snacks. She is really just 13,,,

And it looks like Sprig does it too, not as much as Anne (probably because he is younger than her) but it seems like it has to be in his terms. Before, he looked to be annoyed with it when he was trying to sleep. But, if he was awake, like in the beginning or at the end of the episode, he had no problem staying up playing would you rather!!!

S1: E3 Hop Luck

Anne: Old things are dumb!

And

Anne:* violently GRABS Sprig and shoves him against the wall* don't you DARE talk about pineapple in my pizza… Ever…

Anne:

Sprig:

Anne: Okay! Let's go get these ingredients!

HHHH ANNE!!! I love this funky little child SO MUCH!!!

Hop Pop loves these kids so much that he was willing to put aside his old, traditional family recipes in exchange for making pizza with them. My heart is gonna explode I'm-

Anne please don't make your surrogate frog brother get married just to get some pizza dough I'M BEGGING YOU-

S1: E3 Stakeout

Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!

Is Hop Pop actually 68 or does he mean more of 68 going on 80 68? Either way he looks great!

Anne has Blam Berry Blitz ("the drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop") in her bag along with all the OTHER stuff we already saw (air pump, toe nail clipper, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs, etc)

Anne is officially those friends that have EVERYTHING in their bag no matter what.

I really like the relationship between Anne and Hop Pop, how they both in some way yearn for what was but in different ways (Anne wanting to go home and Hop Pop's olden ways when he was a little pollywog) but are still similar in how they try to remember. They try and try and try to keep what little family/friends they have safe and protected. They love the relationships they've formed with other people (And with each other) and would go great lengths to help and protect them!

Also I MAY be looking way too into it buuuut was Boulder-Tron (that rock dude that Polly hallucinated at the end) supposed to foreshadow Frobo??

S1: E4 Taking Charge

Okay quick one, Anne nearly having a whole ass panic attack when her phone dies because she couldn't look at her photos or videos of home actually made me sad. This girl is only a CHILD and her entire home and everything is gone and she for real thought she couldn't ever get it back,,,

Hop Pop: I mean, the part where the island itself is revealed to actually be…!

Sprig: No!

Polly: Don't!

Anne: Spoilers

I dunno why and again, I MIGHT BE LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO THIS, but maybe this is foreshadowing something with the land of Amphibia? That maybe there is more to this crazy land than we know? Maybe even a reason it, along with all the other universes even exists???

S1: E5 Breakout Star

AHSBWJOA ONLY EPISODE 5 AND ANNE ALREADY HAS HER PHONE'S LOCK SCREEN OF THE PLANTER FAMILY I'M-

S1: E7 Dating Season

Anne said that ⅔ of ALL soul mates start out as "just friends"

…

I'm looking at you, team Sashannarcy

S1: E7 Anne vs. Wild

Hop Pop's behavior at the end of the episode when Anne finally shows them the calamity box is awfully sus…

He doesn't say anything but "may I?" To inspect the box and then is like "Nope, never seen it" I just feel like he knows something and then adding onto it with the whole burying it to protect his family just sounds like… he definitely knows something, maybe not a lot but there is something he's not telling the others

Also, why would a book that HE has have information on the Calamity box??

(I fully support the Dr. P was a Planter and also possibly the pink frog who was friends with King Andrias theory)

S1: E10 Toad Tax

At this point, Anne said that she has already been in Amphibia for over a month now.

(And damn, Sasha's been in prison for like a month,,, yikes)

Also Hop Pop teaching Anne how to pay taxes is so adorable, she really is part of this family now guys,,,

And I love how Anne was able to win over the Wartwood people by being her natural, charming and not to mention caring self. Anne, like Marcy and Sasha, can be selfish because honestly what kid, especially a 13 year old, isn't.

But what matters is that she always tries to make up for it.

Yes she did join the arguably sketchy toads into getting the taxes from everyone in order to feel somewhat included in ANYTHING, but while she was doing it, she knew it was wrong. Anne knew it was wrong and tried to give back some of the stolen stuff. Hell, even at the end she risked her safety to protect people she felt didn't even LIKE her, like, Anne literally broke her arm from them because that's just how Anne is.

S1: E10 Prison Break

I always forget how like,,, SUPER cunning Sasha is. I mean, she was able to talk FIVE toads into quitting within a WEEK as a PRISONER. Like??

Grime: That's not a bird. It's a heron, a murderous predator that happens to love the taste of flesh

Sasha: Cute

The lines in this show I'M-

So Anne was a varsity tennis player and Sasha was a cheerleader and did Tai Chi. I still can't believe they were both jocks,,,

(Well, Sasha I get but Anne? Sweet ol' lil baby with the lanky limbs Anne???)

Hey um, why the FUCK does Grime have acid spit?

Sasha: *looking at photo of her, Anne, and Marcy* Hold on for a little longer, girls. I'm coming for you. And when I find you, we're gonna get home. But first, I think we're gonna have some fun with this place

Okay so this line right here. Now I may not be even remotely correct but this line, this last piece of dialogue spoken by Sasha right before the episode ends leads me to believe that she… doesn't take this world seriously.

At least not yet.

I think the 3 girls all see Amphibia differently: Anne as more of an obstacle, a wall preventing her from being home, Marcy sees it as an escape from her life with constant stimuli, and Sasha, she sees it as just really another thing to control. Everyone and their mothers know that Sasha can be a little more than controlling and we all know that she liked being lieutenant just a little too much.

This world is interesting to Sasha, not in the interesting that Anne sees it (who is interesting in the new people and the relationships she's formed) or Marcy (who is also interested in the relationships she's formed along with the thirst for knowledge and again, the constant stimuli in an environment where she isn't stifled and allowed to flourish).

No, Sasha sees Amphibia as interesting because it gives her something to control. In a world that is not your own, a world that you will leave eventually, who would actually FOLLOW the rules put in place there? Especially a 13 year old who is basically like a war commander who, even if she does do something wrong or breaks a rule or two, the only person who might even dare to stop her is Grime, and even then, he might just encourage it because it is season 1 and they aren't that close and he doesn't really care for Sasha at this point.

She also is actually very logical. Everything she does in Amphibia, all the morally questionable things she does, it is always for the same reason (or at least at first), to get her and her girls home. Wanting to sacrifice and kill Hop Pop at the end of season 1? Well The toads had promised if she helped, they'll help her find Marcy and bring the 3 of them home. She cares for Anne and Marcy SO MUCH that she is willing to go great lengths to help keep them safe.

But even though Sasha didn't really care about anyone in Amphibia besides Anne and Marcy at first, it doesn't mean she won't ever. We see countless times throughout season 2 of Sasha caring. She feels regret with her impending betrayal on Anne and Marcy, she cares enough to try and warn Anne about King Andrias' evil plans. Hell, even in the season 3 intro we see her and Grime at Wartwood and it looks like they're gonna be starting another rebellion against the king to help all the amphibians in Amphibia.

I just really like watching Sasha's appearance and knowing what will happen in the future with her character.

S1: E13 Trip to the Archives

Anne: I get this place. It's like a library from my world. Zoo books and manga, here I come!

So whenever Anne goes to the library, presumably with Sasha and Marcy, she'd go straight to books on animals and manga probably while Marcy did whatever work they needed (if Anne's dialogue in season 2 with Marcy always doing the work for their group projects was anything to go off on)

I dunno, I think that's kinda cute that Anne liked reading books on animals and probably reading all the manga that Marcy recommended.

Maybe Anne and Sasha would sit right next to each other while Marcy worked and read fun manga together and cackle with each other while Marcy tried SO HARD to concentrate and NOT infodump to them because she's read that specific manga 20 times and HAVE YOU GOTTEN TO THAT ONE PART WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER GOES-

S1: E15 Wally and Anne

MOSS MAN!!

When Anne wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to grab Wally at town square, her hood is up and it's dark. The only thing we can make out of her face are…

Glowing blue eyes.

Glowing eyes that share an uncanny resemblance to the moss men.

And Anne loves doing elaborate, silly handshakes? That's so CUTE! Too bad none of her friends liked them as much as she did :(

When they finally reached the foggy mountain place, Anne noticed glowing blue butterflies and started to follow them, which led her right to the moss man.

WAIT ANNE ALSO DID ROCK CLIMBING BACK HOME?? FUCKING JOCK!!!

S1 E20 Reunion

Okay I WAS about to say that there wasn't anything to say about this last episode that hasn't already been said before BUT

The last couple moments, when Anne is holding Sasha off the cliff and trying to pull her up with the Planters, there's a couple interesting shots that I would like to talk about.

While the Planters were holding onto Anne, they say things like "Hang on, Anne! We got you no matter what!"

And even when the stone cliff starts to chip and break, none of the frogs back off, they don't loosen their grips, they just keep holding onto Anne.

And they will never let go.

Because they love her. Because in only 3 months, Anne was able to get a surrogate frog family and dozens of other frog friends in Wortwood. Because Anne has this amazing support system both literally and metaphorically. Because Anne is Anne. And Sasha...

Isn't like Anne.

Matt Bradly himself even said that both Sasha and Anne are different from Anne, Anne is the heart, the emotional connection in their logical worlds. Anne can make so many friends so easily and Sasha… Sasha became a war genral, she lost a fight against the one person who she thought would never fight back.

Sasha doesn't have what Anne has. She doesn't have the kind of skills to make such strong relationships, the kind where you risk your life for the other, in such a short amount of time.

Hell, they even play a song called "Lean on Me", Anne has people to lean on and they would lean on her just the same. She found these people, made these friends, formed amazing relationships, in only THREE months.

"Maybe you're better off without me"

And Sasha was only dragging her down.

Sasha loves Anne, she cares for her and would do anything to protect her. That's why she let go. She didn't want to drag Anne down, to hurt her more than she already has.

Sasha would do anything for Anne, even die.

Over all notes:

Season 1 is SUPER FUNNY!! The lines hit and they don't rely on toilet humor to get the audience to laugh. They use great one liners and physical humor that isn't fart or butt jokes. They do an excellent job on showing how crazy the world of Amphibia is through humor like how the animals are always eating each other.

I really like how the characters were crafted so carefully! And the storyline!!! You could notice things that get explored in season 2 and I can't WAIT to see how many bread crumbs were left to lead up to season 3!

HOW DOES ANNE KEEP SO MANY THINGS IN HER BOOK BAG???

That stuff is in her SCHOOL BAG, why would she bring it to school??? So far I've got an air pump, toe nail clippers, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs and an energy drink. WHY??? I wonder if she held on to any of Sasha or Marcy's things too or ever forgot to give them back

Also again, I'M STILL IN SHOCK OF ANNE BEING A JOCK. I don't even know why I am, I knew she played sports and stuff it's just,,, she's so lanky,,,

Her and Sasha are jock buddies and WILL shove other jocks in lockers if they ever pick on their nerd Marcy.

I also am in LOVE with Hop Pop's screams lmao

Be ready for an analysis of season 2!

#amphibia #anne boonchuy #hopadiah plantar #hop pop #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha waybright #Marcy wu #season 1 #analysis #my ramblings

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

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The Mandalorian Chapter 13 reactions

Well, that was... well. in short I quite enjoyed some of what happened while din was there and I didn’t really care about what happened while he wasn’t there lol. I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that I just don’t care for the episodes dave filoni writes for this show, which is simply a matter of taste I guess.

(if you loved this episode wholeheartedly -- probably look away now, I’m going to be a bit of a downer about it and I don’t want to shit on your joy haha)

- let’s just get this out of the way first: there’s a lot of stuff around rosaria dawson and transphobia in real life and yeah, of course that affects how I watch the show. I don’t even want to talk that much about ahsoka in this because of it. she was not that good in the role, after seeing how it played out I don’t think the character needed to be in this show at all, and she should never have gotten the role in the first place and that’s about it for what I’ve got to say.

- dave filoni consistently does things with din’s characterization that feels off and weird to me, subtly out of place with what we see in other episodes (he’s... ruder? more short tempered/cocky/actively or aggressively interpersonal? more prone to express himself directly than he is usually? idk how to describe it but filoni!din always feels one step to the left of what he should be and I’m so hyper-attuned to this character that when something’s a bit iffy with him it throws everything else off haha. it feels like a shallower, more convenient read on him and I don’t like it)

I also think filoni is almost too familiar with and in love with the source material sometimes? “A Mandalorian and a Jedi? They’ll never see it coming” is undeniably a great line that echoes in decades of deep lore and so on, but dave my good man din had no real idea what a jedi even is until literally this morning. we, the audience, know about this long and storied history, but unless ahsoka spent the afternoon explaining it to him din still only knows the faint outlines of it, he has no personal experience of or attachment to it. it’s not bad, as such, it just rings false to the character based tone of the show for me personally

- positivity break: baby sitting perched on the dashboard to be close to papa while they’re in hyperspace........sd sdfskdjhfdsakjksdhfkasjd

also this is some full on madonna and child in the manger shit and I am LIVING for it (odds he’s crying quietly behind the helmet here? pretty damn good if you ask me). the mundanity of what’s essentially the shitty spartan bathroom of the razor crest on one side contrasted with the light and tenderness and love on the other? amazing, a perfect microcosm of what this show does with combining the grittier everyday down to earth stuff in the star wars universe with myth and wonder and magic and through it elevating both

- the idea of having an iconique samurai/sword duel standoff and a western standoff going on simultaneously is genuinely inspired, but in action it didn’t really work for me. (the sword duel stuff needs these moments of stillness with sudden outbursts of violence and then stillness again, the western standoff needs mounting tension until it’s nearly unbearable, and cutting between them the way they did you sort of didn’t get either to its full potential. again it’s a cool idea, though, I hope someone picks it up and does it better at some point)

- seeing a jedi and a mandalorian wander together through a burned out wasteland left desolate by greed and warfare should have hit me harder than it did but for some reason it didn’t, idk. thematically sound, though, I like it a lot on the metaphor level

- I LOVE that pure beskar makes a specific sound, and that it’s an almost ethereal noise like the high clear chime of a distant bell. also now din has something to fight light sabers with that isn’t the dark saber which makes me so happy because you guys I do not want him to be the mand’alor. keep that funky laser sword away from my dad, apart from killing him at the end that is literally the most boring way to end his arc pls do NOt

- wow they really went in hard on the samurai stuff in this one huh! there is a part of my mchanzo-loving heart that thrives on seeing a space cowboy and a space samurai team up, *wild otp-fuelled whisper* they’re twin genres inextricably entwined okay they belong together if you see this spreadsheet I’ve made over here --

- even knowing it was just a trick I felt such intense distress seeing the signet pauldron away from din. like the attachment I have to these pieces of metal because That Armour Means Dad... wild

- they really chose the dumbest name possible for the baby huh fsajdfhsaj I agree with din his name is ‘kid’ now (eh just give me a while to get used to it probably I’ll come around)

also... you know what I’ve said before about shrinking the big unknowable galaxy ‘the mandalorian’ has been setting up? wow did they do that big time in this one, and it makes me feel decidedly :/. why does the baby have to come from the jedi temple, is there truly no other tradition of force users in the entire galaxy he could be from? WHY do you have to pull thrawn into this when most people watching this show won’t even know why he’s such a big deal? is this a stealth tease for a rebels sequel? if so why spend an entire episode of this show that only gets eight precious episodes a season on it??

- on a more fun positive note: baby’s clothes are clean again, so it’s confirmed that din does wash them (and I guess that he does have some means of washing clothes aboard the razor crest!). I loved... most of the dad and baby stuff in this one, but then don’t I always I’m easy to please that way haha (the ‘playing catch’ sequence felt a bit off to me but I don’t know why. din being like ‘he’s so stubborn’ wasn’t... eh. didn’t land right. “that would be a first” was fun tho lol)

- having ahsoka state the baby’s feelings out loud like that felt... weird? and also kind of unnecessary in parts, like yeah he’s a baby who’s been passed along to different groups of strangers and experimented on by empire scientists, you don’t need to spell it out for me that he’s been scared and lonely, or at least spell it out more interestingly? it’s such blunt force storytelling where it didn’t need to be? there are more elegant ways to get the same things across, I am absolutely convinced

- ...wow while I was watching the episode I was mostly like ‘okay this is Fine I can go along with it’ but seeing what I’m thinking about in hindsight... yeah probably my least favourite episode of this show full stop haha, it took the spot from chapter 5 which was also a filoni ep

- I did 100% genuinely adore the whole part of din approaching the town and meeting the magistrate. consistently hiding the baby behind his cape and his arm? being deliberately, teeth-grindingly dispassionate with everyone, just giving them nothing? getting to see a bit of professional bounty hunter din again? wonderful in every way, I love this man

- lots of meaningful shots of baby in the middle with a mando on one side and a jedi on the other, it’s almost like they’re setting up some Themes here lol

- ...do you think din told ahsoka about either the rhino-levitating or the force choking. because girl I don’t think not training him is going to make this just go away haha, he just won’t know what he’s doing

- it makes me so sad that baby connects his force powers with being abused :( (also a heartbreaking sign of just how much he cared about din from the very beginning, since he used it on the mudhorn to save him anyway ;________; was that like. literally the first time he sensed kindness and affection in anyone in like twenty five years or... )

- I understand why ahsoka would feel this way because of her past and specific traumas, but tbh attachment in a baby? probably a good thing, he doesn’t really have the higher brain functions to cultivate non-attachment yet and needs a safe figure because again. he is a baby.

good on her for realizing it’s not a task she can take on both for the baby’s sake and her own, and also that din is that baby’s Dad though. the way she smiled at the end watching them leave seemed vaguely hopeful/had a little bit of wonder in it, like maybe she felt the potential for something good there, something she couldn’t conceptualize from her background but could sense the tentative outlines of anyway?

(also so much pressure on a lil bb to decide his path... his dilemmas should be limited to what colour socks he wants to wear today not the course of his entire life :( I know he’s a magic baby but.......)

- idk maybe I’ll find more affection of this episode through rewatches, you never know

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta

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rudeinterrupti0ns · 5 years

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Amazon Prime Concert

ok here are all my thoughts about the gig. i've already posted a few thoughts such as how brilliant the audience were before taylor even came on, chanting her name and then screaming to high hell when appeared, and a few other things, but i've sort of decided to live post a bit in one post to be less annoying. so here is my terrible stream of consciousness, live from my bed and thanks to a total lack of sleep!

omg she's starting with me! yay!- i loved that she played this first. her first song released which is, at the end of the day, owned by her and it's so happy and cheery and it's such a positive start to this era. love it. also the video is unbeatable. suddenly thinking about benjamin. been distracted brb.

blank space - hell yeah after the last few weeks taylor's gonna play blank space! another great big fuck you to the media's opinion of her. god i love this song. she so smort. this song will never age because the media will always be this dumb. this is why taylor's timeless.

owh she's giving a speech about everyone already being the most supportive crowd. good work gang. that's what we were aiming for tonight.

ikywt - i felt it was really interesting she played ikywt, especially given that it's one of the few songs sc**ter changed on apple music. to me it felt like she was reminding everyone that it was HER song, no matter what he did with it. ooh a slightly funky ending! ooh taylor yeah mix it up!

'I wrote all of it'' YES TAYLOR! fucking tell em! we will never forget this. and i love that this is how she's dealing with it. cause she's right. tbh it's not like she needs the money from them and although i'm sure it fucking HURTS to a) be backstabbed by someone so close to her and b) have her musical children in the hands of someone else, she knows that in the world's eyes and in the fans' eyes and especially in her eyes the music is hers. and that's so important. we're not under any pretences that entire albums were ghostwritten like some singers do. we know that taylor's work is her own and so we accredit it to her. so i'm glad she's reminding everyone publicly again who wrote those somgs because she deserves to reiterate that no matter whose hands those songs are in...that she wrote them. good for you taylor.

love story yay!! - i cried during the intro lmao happens every time. and oh my god. there's a guy in the backwards cap during the first verse and he is so intensely singing the words and staring at taylor and it is amazing someone please find him. and oh my god PAUL SIDOTI YES BB show him the love he deserves.

"A little me and you time one on one on the guitar" YES PLEASE AND NEW YORK CITY HOOOOOLD UP WHAT YOU SAYING-

"I get inspired by lots of things in life, not just my own life but books and relationships between characters... but then there's being inspired by a place. That definitely happened to me when i spent a lot of time in new york city... this is the FIRST song that I wrote which was inspired by new york city" OK GUYS SHE HAD A MAJOR INFLECTION ON THE WORD "FIRST" I BET THERE'LL BE ANOTHER IN LOVER!!!!!!

ok side note i've just noticed yellow stars on the frets of taylor's guitar WHAT IS THE STAR THING?? so many easter eggs, so few brain cells.

AND YOU CAN WANT WHO YOU WANT BOYS AND BOYS GIRLS AND GIRLS yes taylor you show them that yntcd isnt queerbaiting you've been publicly supporting lgbtqa+ for yonks give them the receipts!! also this has got to be a shout out to the us womens soccer team. so cute. so deserving.

well that was bloody beautiful taylor. what a lovely version of that song. we have been blessed.

DELICATE 123 LGB!!! her face when everyone screamed it oh my god. she loves it. she fucking gets it. i love that amazon didn't censor it in time lmao, they weren't stan enough to know it was coming. i bet there was at least 1 swiftie working there keeping their mouth shut just so we could get an hq version of 123lgb lmao. brilliant.

also isn't delicate just so fucking good? ahhhhh the switch from acoustic to the backing track! love that. the kick into the 2nd verse is my favourite bit. great stuff.

STYLE. i s2g i hear the tiniest part of the beginning of the backing track and my whole body lights on fire. there really is no song like style. it is a pop masterpiece.

she's talking about lover!! - a love letter to love itself AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! love is complexity, struggle, pain, joy, hope... love is EQUALITY YEEEEEEEEET god she's such a good precious lil bean!!!! so much support for the queer community this era i am so here for it.

"would it be ok if for the first time ever we play yntcd live?" lmao taylor WHAT DO YOU THINK? hooooly shit. i love it.

ahh she's dancing! aha omg the little boxing motions taylor u geek. owh her lil choreography ugh, soft bean. MUST HAVE TAKEN ALL NIGHT lmaoooo her face. CAUSE SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY yes the crowd went IN! well done bbs. and omg why does amazon keep cutting to people standing there being miserable??? they've done it the whole show like what are these camera people doing?!?! maybe focus on people actually obviously having fun lmao. um also i see the beachballs in the background video... is that a wango tango reference? who knows maybe she's somehow made it another easter egg, incredible work.

last song?? noooo! but SHAKE IT OFF yes!! you literally feel the vibe in the room change. there's something about that song man. you literally cannot help but dance. god i wished i lived in nyc. for so many reasons. but also so i could have attended this. so much fun!!

LIARS AND DIRTY DIRTY CHEATS OF THE WORLD yes taylor fucking TELL THEM. these are your words!!! and you own them and you can apply them to whoever you want. because you are the rich man!! you are so strong and powerful and don't you forget it!

also whenever i see the shake it off rainbow confetti i just die. the love in that room.

oh she's going around holding everyone's hand!! TAYLOR!!!!!!

ok that was so much fun. now just 2 more days til july 13th 👀 and 4 days til my birthday, what a life we lead. hope you enjoyed my stream of connsciousness it probably reads terribly but i'm very excited and underslept. CONGRATS @taylorswift you KILLED it as usual!! @taylornation

#amazon prime concert #prime concert #taylor swift #taylornation #taylurking

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs, week 26

capsule reviews of the songs which debuted on the 7 July 2017 and 8 July 2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

7.7.2007

61) "Lost," Faith Hill

"With everything I have doesn't mean a thing if it's without you." I. Don't know what that means? I could stare at some of these lyrics and not really understand what's happening other than I'm supposed to believe in love and all its power, which is probably the most we can expect out of a late-career Faith Hill song. It's not great, but, y'know, just as I feel weird about trying to assess Fifth Harmony songs, I feel like Faith Hill songs are reaching for that Aunt With Too Many Inspirational Quote Pillows demographic, and I have to respect the choice she had made to service this demographic. This was someone's third wedding song, and I think that's beautiful. (Also, credit where credit's due, Kara DioGuardi co-wrote a song I tolerated.)

65) "Never Wanted Nothing More," Kenny Chesney

This is a weird one. Because it's Kenny Chesney, but it's also Chris Stapleton, but it's also Chris Stapleton writing a Kenny Chesney song. It's complicated. Like, you look at Kanye West's early discography, you see names you know, Jermaine Dupri, Goodie Mob, Lil' Kim, Nas, Alicia Keys, you see respectable names, you can see how the songs Kanye produced would fit into the greater Kanye catalogue. There's a difference, of course, between production and writing, but early Kanye doesn't feel like producer-for-hire. This song is written so outside the voice I've come to associate with Chris Stapleton that I can't imagine him ever writing it. Like, this song fits in with the Chris Stapleton origin story because it shows Chris Stapleton has been doing this thing for a long time and was good at it, but that's the only way it fits. This is just a Kenny Chesney song that Chris Stapleton happened to write, whereas "Izzo" is a Jay-Z song with a Kanye beat. Country music's weird as hell, man. I ain't gonna get it.

69) "Dance Tonight," Paul McCartney

it's gotta be pretty nuts to know that your status as one of the greatest songwriters of all time is so secure that there is absolutely nothing you could do to remove yourself from that pedestal. Like, the only reason I can find for a song like this (read: a bad one) being made from a dude at this level is, he was bored and wanted to see if people would call it an extraordinary songwriting feat if he just dropped a track like "it's nice when people have fun!"

74) "Let It Go," Keyshia Cole ft./Missy Elliott & Lil Kim

Pretty good! A little subdued for my taste, a little too restrained for a song about letting go, but I think we've talked about how I'm not naturally drawn to R&B simply because the genre is so subdued and restrained, so it's probably my own fault I'm not as into this song as I feel I should be. Like, I like all the names involved, I thnk Keyshia Cole was a pretty decent singer, I like the ingredients of the song, but someone put them together with a different palette than mine in mind. Ugh, and that's just the worst, how the world doesn't make enough things for white males to enjoy. This song, though, I think it's a'ight! I have no complaints about it specifically!

91) "How Do I Breathe," Mario

...i swear i've heard this exact same r&b song at least twice, though. like, "let it go" had missy on the track, it was cool. this is another song about a man who is sad his girlfriend left him and wishes she would come back. mario's a more engaging vocalist than the joes and tanks of 2007, like i'd like to hear him sing a better song, but... man, this week is just songs i didn't need to hear, and not in the sense that pop music is bad and i shouldn't try to listen to this much of it, more that 2007 just kinda said, "hey, here's some shit you've already heard from us, have fun." i feel i don't need to have an opinion on this song because i've already had an opinion on some stargate joint or another, y'know?

97) "Doomsday Clock," Smashing Pumpkins

hey speaking of unnecessary, another smashing pumpkins song! and not even one i need to begrudgingly admit is good, this one is the thing i expected smashing pumpkins to sound like, billy corgan nasally whining about some bullshit or another while the guitar plods along dutifully. nothing here is innovative, nothing here takes smashing pumpkins and frames it in a new light for me, this is just a song that exists. these songs all exist.

Well, obviously, since we’re hitting the halfway point, we’re gonna be doing something special! ...Or I would forget how to count and not realize this was the halfway point. Anyway, no Top 20s because nothing changed. 2017!

8 July 2017

4) "Wild Thoughts," by DJ Khaled ft./Rihanna & Bryson Tiller

I don't believe anything Bryson Tiller says on this song. My understanding of Bryson Tiller was that he was a simpering sad boy who sang about his feelings, so when he comes on a track where he a) has to present himself as an equal to Rihanna and b) has to make the argument that he is a worthy sexual partner for Rihanna, it's hard to take him seriously, because all he's done before suggests he's not this person. Like, someone thought of Bryson Tiller was the answer to the question "Who could make Rihanna think wild thoughts?" and that's just amazing to me. Literally anyone else would have been better. Are we not ready to lean so fully into the Latin trend that we'll give Luis Fonsi a starring role in a DJ Khaled song? Are we just this over Miguel? Hell, we know from "Run Up" that PARTYNEXTDOOR's capable of being occasionally interesting, why not him! This song could've been something, but man, that Bryson Tiller feature sinks it.

51) "Feels," by Calvin Harris ft./Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean

I appreciate the work Calvin Harris puts in to making pop music funky again, I think he's aware there's a direct line in music history from him to The Chainsmokers and he's doing his best to distance himself from that, but there's a limit to how much I can enjoy a song with the line "I know you're not afraid to catch feels with me." Like, this is another good song, Calvin Harris has been doing work this spring/early summer, it's just, one of them has to be the worst, and it's this one with its tumblr-ass hook. I wish I had a more legit reason to not be into this song. Nope. It's just that one word. I don't even necessarily mind that word, it's just, an entire song built around that word isn't a party I wanna attend.

61) "First Day Out," by Kodak Black

Nope!

83) "Relationship," by Young Thug ft./Future

Comparing Young Thug to the other dudes in his genre is like comparing a wasp to a group of bumblebees. They're sort of the same thing, but Young Thug is so much different and fearsome. ...This isn't his best song? This is the song you'd expect to chart off the album given the pedigree, but also, it isn't, because there's so many other, better songs on the album? But we should be evaluating this song for what it is, not what it isn't. "I put my dick inside her mouth before she act." Neat! Of all the many things Young Thug is, he is not perfect.

89) "Feel it Still," by Portugal. The Man

I AM IN FAVOR OF ALL THE BRASS 2017 HAS GIVEN ME THIS YEAR. The only instance of a brass instrument I remember from 2007 is the "Get Buck" beat, and I am so thrilled with the occasional blasts on this song. It's a fun song by a band I know I've heard about at some point but didn't expect to see here. I thought Portugal. The Man was ponderous indie nonsense, but yo, if they got one of these in them, I'm down to see what else they got. It's weird when it turns out bands everyone says is good make good songs. Like, what happened to bands like the Arcade Fire, who just whined monotonously over jingle-jangling?

100) "Real Hitta," by Piles ft./Kodak Black

...Are you. Guys. Are you serious? Piles? PIIIIIIILES? Of all the fucking. So many rappers hit in 2007, and the one y'all dredged up to make the Deacde Dance Club, literally the week I introduce that as a thing, is maybe the worst one, the one whose name I didn't even bother to spell right, I thought he was so yesterday. I'm not gonna listen to it for what I hope are obvious reasons, but that doesn't mean we can't jump into the AZ Lyrics page. "All that ass she got back there startin' to look like a Pamper" This is the least sexy way to describe a butt since "My Humps." "Sex game undefeated, think I'm 100-0" ...Has Piles only fucked 100 times? I mean. Hey, nothin' wrong with that, I'm not here to prude shame anyone or promote promiscuity or whatever, but even in the last 10 years, 3,650 days, Piles has only fucked once every five weeks or so? Or is he just on a winning streak, like, that's how many times in a row he's ejaculated? (I'm assuming he's not bragging that, every time he has sex, he makes the woman cum. I don't think Piles has ever had a woman's pleasure in mind when setting about his business.) This is a bizarre boast. "Biggest thing he ever did for you was take you to Chili's." ...Okay. Okay, that's pretty good. "That lil pussy was so sorry, I call it minimum wage." You know what fuck it I'll take gross political commentary. Piles had two lines I enjoyed out of the context of the song! There may be hope for all of us y -- oh right Kodak Black "I'ma come through, and I'ma fuck ya like the police lookin' for me" Well, that's about as tone deaf as I expected, alright, well, there's hope for some of us.

Decade Dance Party

...Um. 31) Piles We said that it’s hard to have two hits ten years apart. What this list presupposes is... What if it isn’t?

Who Won the Week?

A few weeks ago, there was like a three-year stretch where the Houston Texans and the Cincinatti Bengals would play each other in the football playoffs. They were boring games and bad to watch, and while the Bengals and Texans were good enough to have made the playoffs, it kinda sucked that one of the two got to go to the next round while a different, more fun team to watch gets eliminated, or was left out of the playoffs entirely. “Feel It Still” is a fine song and is definitely better than “Let it Go,” but like. “Feel it Still” shouldn’t be the champion for the week. I dunno, kinda meh for both weeks, 2017 takes it because I don’t think “Feel it Still” should get demerits for all the Kodak Black I didn’t listen to. So.

2017: 14 2007: 12

Next week, 2007 is giving us what is indisputably greater than all The Beatles songs put together. (I linked to that specific post because gosh that dude adding his two cents at the end is the reason op exists.) But will it be better than the alt-country song and the indie-rock song I for some reason ranked over “Umbrella?” ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

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