#He was mostly just a warmup while I worked on other stuff - a simple and fun intermit! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

binunus · 3 years

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injury | cha eunwoo

a/n ~im a simp for eunwoo, you’re a simp for eunwoo, let’s be simps for eunwoo~

LMFAO anyway this is the first week w/o true beauty and yes as much as suho’s character was a bit toxic, he was end game and that’s it !! also eunwoo bb worked so hard :’) no one can deny eunwoo’s superb acting skills alright !! and if they do they boutta catch these hands. so here’s a cute little something of basketball player!eunwoo bc im in love with him

pls watch handsome tigers or this tik tok if you wanna indulge in basketball player!eunwoo bc everyone should at least once in their life

→ pairing: basketball player!eunwoo x athletic trainer!reader

→ genre: fluff, lil angst

→ word count: 5.1k ________________________________________________

Your POV

One thing you didn’t expect when you applied to be a student athletic trainer for the university basketball team was to end up dating one of their star players, but here you were: holding hands with Cha Eunwoo–the starting shooting guard–as you two walked into the basketball court.

He gave you a smile and a kiss to the cheek before going off to join his teammates in stretching. You let out a content sigh, watching as he happily greeted the other basketball players, and then went over to the other student trainers.

Usually, you wouldn’t have much to do since the boys were just practicing, but there was someone new joining today, so you and the other trainers had to give her a little rundown on what she signed up for.

“-mostly we just tape up and ice the guys if they have an injury or a muscle strain, but yeah that should be about it. Simple, right?”

The new girl nodded, eyes trained on the court as the team just started their warmups. “Who’s that? Number 97 is hot–”

“And dating y/n.” One of the male trainers, and yours and Eunwoo’s close friend, Rocky said, narrowing his eyes at the new girl as he rested his elbow on your shoulder. “So don’t even think of any ideas to–”

“Rocky,” You scolded hitting his stomach, “Don’t be rude.”

The girl gave you a once over, an uncomfortable smile on your face, as her eyes met yours. “Ah...well, you must have an amazing personality, y/n!”

You were taken aback, did she just call you ugly? You forced a laugh, trying your best not to quip back at her. Rocky, though, had no restraints, “Clearly a better one than yours.”

Before the new girl could respond, the head trainer called her over, a huge sigh of relief coming from you. Rocky clicked his tongue as he stared at her back, “She’s not going to last long with us. I don’t get why you’re so timid when others are clearly insulting you, y/n.”

You rolled your eyes at him. When it came to your friends, it was definitely Rocky and Myungjun who were not afraid to be bold about what they were thinking. “Eunwoo and I have been dating for more than a year now, you don’t think I’m used to people always saying that my boyfriend is out of my league? I just try to ignore it now Rocky c’mon, I know how Eunwoo feels about me and that’s enough.”

“Damn hyung’s handsome face.” The younger male shook his head. You chuckled, the two of you taking a seat on the bench and conversing as the basketball practice went on. During water breaks, Eunwoo would come over to where you and Rocky were sitting, chatting it up with you two in brief increments before resuming practice. He would always pucker his lips up for a peck before leaving, which you would definitely grant and Rocky would pretend to be disgusted.

By the end of their practice, you managed to successfully avoid the new girl, waiting outside the locker room like you always do after bidding Rocky goodbye. Eunwoo smiled once he saw you, immediately draping his arm around your shoulders as he kissed your temple in greeting. “Baby, I’m hungry.”

“Mmm, you want to eat out or order in?” You asked looking up at him.

“Order in, I’m tired.” He said, the two of you already making your way to his car.

As soon as you two arrived back at Eunwoo’s apartment, he immediately plopped down on the couch. You chuckled, lightly smacking his butt, “Baby, go take a shower first, you’re sweaty.”

“Wanna take one with me?” He asked blinking his big beautiful eyes at you. You grinned, the offer was tempting, but you already took a shower earlier today and you wanted to order this food as soon as possible. Eunwoo pouted as you shook your head in rejection, getting up to go the bathroom looking like a kicked puppy.

You turned on the television to whatever variety show was on at the moment, barely paying attention as you were looking through the food delivery app on your phone. You turned your head as Bin walked out of his bedroom, no doubt having just woken up from a nap.

“Oh? You guys are back.” He said sleepily, waving to you.

“Binnie, we’re ordering for dinner, do you want something?” You asked offering him your phone, a laugh leaving you at the boost of energy he received from the word ‘dinner’

“You know a way to man’s heart, y/n.” Bin said jokingly as he started looking through the menu. “By the way, Rocky texted me about that new trainer–rude ass bitch.”

“God you guys spread gossip faster than girls.” You said amused, “I told him earlier, I’m used to people saying stuff like that. It’s whatever.”

“I guess, but you know how sad Eunwoo will be if he finds out this is still going on?” Bin said handing you your phone back. “We’ve been telling you this since the beginning, don’t let other people’s opinions get to you. You’re attractive, y/n! And to Eunwoo, you’re the most beautiful person in the world.”

You smiled, touched by his words of comfort, “Thanks Binnie, ah where would me and Eunwoo be without all of your guys’ support?”

“Nowhere because he wouldn’t have had the balls to confess to you if it wasn’t for us.” He scoffed heading to the bathroom.

“Change your mind, baby?”

“You better stay in the shower! I don’t wanna see your dick while I’m peeing.”

You laughed at their interaction, your attention shifting to the television as you patiently waited for your food and company. Within 30 minutes, the three of you were happily stuffing yourselves full with the takeout, talking up a storm while watching tv. You leaned back against the couch when you felt your stomach capacity maxed out, hands perched on your belly as you groaned, “I can’t eat anymore.”

They looked at you in amusement, Bin laughing while Eunwoo rested his hand on your knee, a fond smile on his face as he told you he’ll finish up your leftovers. The two boys then got engrossed in their own conversation of sorts, you listening quietly to the side as the food coma started to kick in. Somewhere in the midst of their conversation, you settled behind Eunwoo, legs draped next to his body as you snaked your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. He hummed, still chewing on his food as he took one of your hands and squeezed it.

You started to zone out, their dialogue beginning to sound like a bunch of nonsensical noise. Bin looked over to where you were laying, “I think y/n’s about to knock out.”

Your boyfriend turned his body to get a glimpse of you, grinning as you whined from the shift in movement. He changed your positions so that you were leaning next to his side, his arm around your waist as you rested your head on his shoulder. “Food coma?”

You nodded, snuggling into his side to get comfortable. Bin watched the two of you with a smile, scooping up the last of his food before clapping his hands, “Well! you guys being all cuddly is making me miss my bub...so see you lovebirds tomorrow!”

You snort, eyes still closed as you respond to him, “Aren’t they hanging out with Eunbi right now? I saw it earlier on their Instagram story.”

He shrugs, gathering up the trash, “I’m going to crash their hangout because I want to cuddle too. Have fun you two, good night sweet dreams, use protection...or not, be a little spicy!”

Eunwoo rolls his eyes as he picks up a throw pillow and chucks it at his roommate, “Alright bye Binnie.”

It takes all but five minutes before Bin leaves the apartment. The moment you two were alone, Eunwoo immediately tightened his hold, practically pulling you onto his lap as he laid you both down on the couch, spooning you from behind. You let out a smile, hands on top of his as he kissed your shoulder, “You ran a lot today baby, are your legs okay?”

He cutely nods his head, his chin lightly digging into your skin, “My calves are a bit tight, but I’ll probably just roll them out at the gym tomorrow.”

You hummed, rubbing his arm, “Do you want me to massage your legs?”

“It’s okay baby, we’re both tired. I’ll just do it tomorrow.” He said, not wanting to move from the couch any time soon. You chuckled, turning around so that you faced him, your eyes finally blinking open, “If you wait until tomorrow, your calves are gonna be stiff and sore, you might get a muscle cramp. C’mon baby.”

He kissed your nose in response, “You were literally about to knock out from a food coma five minutes ago.”

“The feeling comes and goes,” You grinned, moving to stand up from the couch. Eunwoo pouted at your absence, but followed your movement anyway, taking your hand as you led him to his bedroom. He obediently laid face down on his bed, waiting as you searched his room for the roller stick. “Can we cuddle after?”

“Yes,” You laughed, giving him a kiss before you sat down next to his legs. “Baby, this is your perk for dating an athletic trainer. I need to make sure you’re in tip top shape.”

“But rolling calves always hurt.” Eunwoo whined, already wincing as you started to apply pressure under the back of his knee. You tried to be gentle at first before really going in with stretching his calf muscles, “that’s because your calves are the tensest muscles in the body, they’re put under a lot of strain and pressure from walking and running so it hurts when you try to relax them.”

“I love when you talk medical to me,” He sighs dreamily. You roll your eyes, pressing down hard on the meat of his calves. You felt bad when Eunwoo started letting out complaints of pain, trying to talk him through it and distract him from the pressure on his legs. “Ow ow baby! It hurts!”

“I know I know, almost done baby, I promise.” You said gently, rolling the stick thoroughly over both calves a couple more times, trying to get rid of all the deep knots that accumulated in his muscles. After deciding that he’s suffered through enough with the stick, you put it to the side and began kneading the heels of your palms through his skin, stimulating his muscles gently after the harsh rolling session. Your hands slowly moved north until they landed on his shoulders, briefly massaging the knots out in his neck as well. You ended up laying next to him, cooing cutely as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “all done.”

Your boyfriend smiled, pulling you into his chest as he kissed your forehead, “thank you baby.”

“You better not ask any of the other trainers to do this for you,” You pouted, a little bubble of jealousy coming up from the earlier situation at the gym. “Except Rocky, maybe.”

Eunwoo scoffed, running his hands through your hair as he met your eyes, “I would much rather have you give me a massage than Rocky. And hey, you better not offer this treatment to the other guys too or I’ll get jealous. You’re my trainer.”

“Deal.” You grinned hugging him tightly, all feelings of jealousy quenched.

Game days always had a specific schedule to be followed. In the morning, you two were free to do whatever you pleased, but it always ended up with the two of you procrastinating in bed until 11 am. Eunwoo always ate a high-protein high-calorie meal whenever he had games and today’s lunch was no different. After eating, the two of you began to get ready, which included showering and getting dressed.

Today you wore a simple set of jeans a black crop top, finishing your look with the university sports quarter zip, which you were required to wear for every game. After tying your hair up, you turned to your boyfriend who was just starting to dress himself. You took a seat on his bed, marveling at how attractive he looked as he slipped on his jersey and shorts. “I’ll never get over seeing you in your uniform, baby.”

He grinned, placing his arms on either side of your body as he hovered over you, leaning down for a kiss. You expected it to be short and sweet, but Eunwoo had different ideas, lips still working against yours as your back gave in, laying down on the bed. You whined as one of his hands took place on your waist, rubbing at the exposed skin, “Mm, baby, we have to leave soon.”

“I know,” he said moving his lips down your jaw, “I just wanted to kiss you.”

“You can kiss me all you want after your game.” You lightly chuckled, wrapping your arms around his torso in a hug. He nodded, face buried in your neck as he dug his hands under your body, hugging you tightly. You hummed, caressing his hair soothingly, “Are you nervous?”

“A little, I’m always nervous before a game, baby.” Eunwoo said pressing a kiss to your collarbone, “You’ll cheer me on, right?”

“Always,” You said patting his back, “C’mon, we should start heading out soon.”

He nodded, reluctantly getting off of you and pulling your body up with him. You offered your boyfriend a cheerful smile, reaching up to fix the bangs out of his eyes before cupping his cheeks, shaking his face in between your hands, “You’re going to do amazing today baby, as always.”

Eunwoo smiled at your action, pecking your lips again before the two of you did a last-minute search around his room for your belongings. After getting all that you needed, the two of you bid Bin goodbye, telling the swimmer that you’ll see him at the court later. You took your place in the driver’s seat, wanting Eunwoo to just relax for the short drive to the gymnasium. You dropped him off at the entrance first before going to find parking, having Eunwoo arrive early was more important than your arrival anyway.

As soon as you walked into the court, the players were already doing their stretches, your boyfriend in the midst of them all. You glanced at him briefly before greeting the other trainers, the group of you having a quick pre-game discussion of roles before being dismissed to do your own things.

You actively try to avoid the new girl as the time draws closer to the start of the game, not wanting your energy to get dampered. By now, the other team has already arrived and the stands were slowly starting to fill up. You were seated calmly behind the bench, trying to pass the time on your phone, before your boyfriend took the space next to you, hand automatically going on top of your knee. “You ready?”

“As much as I can be,” He grinned rubbing your kneecap, “Wanna come with me to fill up my water bottle?”

You nod, you weren’t doing anything anyway. The male immediately drapes his arm over your shoulders as the two of you walk to the water station, the two of you already getting excited about your dinner plans after the game. The rest of your friends would be joining you, no doubt, as you already spotted them near the front of the student seating.

You were in such a good mood, anticipating the start of what was going to be a good game. Your university was going against their rivals, so expectations for both teams were high. You and Eunwoo were leisurely walking back to the court, he still had a couple more minutes before he needed to join his team.

“Hey, you’re Eunwoo, right? I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Hana, the new student trainer. You’re really good at playing!” The girl said walking up to the two of you. You immediately felt your body stiffen at her appearance, trying not to let it show to your boyfriend. He gives the new girl a polite smile, “Ah thank you.”

“If you need anything, I’ll be more than happy to help you.” She said batting her eyelashes sweetly at him. You pursed your lips tightly, jealousy easily building up inside of you. Eunwoo only laughed awkwardly, “I appreciate it, but y/n’s got everything handled when it comes to me, right baby?”

You nod, trying your hardest not to punch Hana in the face at her blatant attempt to flirt with your boyfriend right in front of you. Eunwoo noticed your discomfort immediately, removing his hand from where it was interlocked with yours before slipping it around your waist, squeezing the skin gently. “Well, it was nice meeting you Hana, but I should go back to the team...I’ll look at you when I need good luck, baby, hm?”

You manage to crack a smile, a little laugh leaving you when he puckered his lips out for a kiss. You step on your tiptoes, granting his wish quickly, before pushing him out towards the court. You turn towards Hana and give her a forced smile before searching for Rocky.

You weren’t surprised to find him in the bleachers, sitting and chatting amongst your group of friends. You go and join them with a light feeling in your chest, greeting the other four of them with hugs.

“How are you doing y/n? You excited?” Jinjin asked as you take a seat next to him.

“Yeah! I mean the guys have a really good chance of winning this one, it’s gonna be a good game.” You smiled clasping your hands together. Rocky only scoffed as he pointed at you, “Bitch, I saw Hana approaching you and Eunwoo hyung, spill.”

You throw the younger male a joking glare, “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

Bin immediately cringed at her name, hand palming his forehead, “Oh God, what did she do?”

You shrugged passively, “She just introduced herself to him and said that if he needed anything, she’ll gladly help him or whatever.”

The boys groaned in response, Sanha reaching over Jinjin to tap your leg, “And? What did hyung say?”

“He let her down gently and said that he goes to me if he needs anything–”

“As he should!” Myungjun said indignantly, crossing his arms in annoyance. Jinjin only nodded, “Good boy.”

“If she even tries to homewreck y/n, just say the word and I’ll scream at her!” Myungjun said in all seriousness. You laugh at his claim, “thanks guys, but I think Eunwoo made it pretty obvious to her so it’s fine.”

The youngest sighed giving you a pout, “You’re too nice, y/n.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Rocky said agreeing with Sanha, “If I was you and someone was flirting with my partner, I’d clock them right in the face.”

“Hey, I wanted to–”

“You should have,” Bin sighed, “What a shame, maybe next time.”

“I usually don’t advocate for violence, but I’d turn a blind eye for this, y/n.” Jinjin agreed. You rolled your eyes at them, “You know, as much as I love to sit here and get lectured, Rocky and I have to go down to the trainer section.”

“We’ll see you guys later!” Rocky said as the two of you stand to go to the bench, taking your seats with the other trainers–and as far away from Hana as you could.

The game was already intense from the tip-off, both sides in a tight match to get a starting lead. The cheers from the stands were just as heightened, giving energy to both sides during baskets or free throws. Their plays started to get rougher from the beginning of the second half, more and more fouls getting called on both teams.

You and the trainers were busy as well, assessing each player during substitutions and icing whenever they came back to the bench. By the third quarter, your team established a good six-point lead, the energy of your section high from Eunwoo’s back-to-back 3 pointers.

You could distinctly hear Myungjun’s scream as he shouted Eunwoo’s name, a laugh coming from the bench at his volume. You hid your face in Rocky’s back, second hand embarrassment coming from the two of you at your friends’ loud cheering tactics.

You even spotted Eunwoo letting out a smile as both sides prepared for a free throw, your boyfriend giving a thumbs up to the guys in acknowledgement. His gaze then shifted onto you, your cheeks flushing as he shot you a heart-fluttering wink, a smile gluing itself onto your face.

You watched with pride as his concentration zeroed back in on the game, his team playing impeccable defense as they raced to your side of the court. After a couple back and forth relays, your team was on offense, trying to calm down the tensions as they strategized their next play.

It all happened so fast. The opponents stole the ball from your point guard, commencing a fast break. Eunwoo sped across court, the defense of your team depending on him and another player.

“Eunwoo–screen!”

He followed the instructions of his teammate well, placing his body in front of the opponent as he tried to defend your team’s basket. Unfortunately, the momentum of the other player was too much, both players roughly colliding and falling on the court.

You gasped in horror, immediately standing up from your seat as the referee blew the whistle to stop the play. Your teeth dug into your lower lip in worry as Eunwoo remained on the floor, clutching his waist in pain as some players and the referees surrounded him. The head trainer jogged onto the court, kneeling in front of Eunwoo to ask if he was okay.

The gymnasium was quiet, looking on to the scene that was unfolding in the center of the floor. Slowly, the trainer helped Eunwoo stand up, your boyfriend leaning his weight on the male as he limped off to the side, the coach substituting in the other shooting guard in place of Eunwoo. Both sides started clapping in respect, as they always do when someone gets injured during a play.

The head trainer looked to the group of you, “someone help me with Eunwoo.”

Before you could even respond, Hana beat you to the chase raising her hand, “I can help.”

“y/n,” Eunwoo said, eyes only on you. The head trainer looks between you and Hana, sighing, “Decide amongst yourselves, and fast.”

“It’ll give me more experience-”

“No, I want y/n.” Eunwoo said seriously, not even giving her a chance. The head trainer ushers you over, your feet finally taking a step with the help of Rocky pushing you forward. You accidentally shove Hana out of your way as you approach Eunwoo and the trainer, taking some of your boyfriend’s weight as the three of you walk to the locker room.

Once in the locker room, the head trainer immediately started assessing Eunwoo’s waist, trying to determine whether he needed to be sent to the hospital for a scan. Quickly and quietly, you follow the trainer’s lead, offering your assistance when he needed it. All the while, you hold Eunwoo’s hand as your boyfriend was trying not to think of the pain in his lower back.

“Do you think you can walk, Eunwoo?”

“I don’t know, there’s a sharp pain in my waist if I try to turn my body.” Eunwoo said attempting to rotate his upper half.

“No no no, don’t move. Let’s get you to the hospital to make sure there isn’t anything broken.” He sighed taking out his phone to call the medical team, “y/n, I’m sure you’ll be accompanying your boyfriend. Text me Eunwoo’s updates, okay?”

You nodded, briefly leaving Eunwoo’s side to gather both his and your things. Within the next five minutes, a group of EMTs entered the locker room, lifting Eunwoo onto a stretcher and rolling him to an ambulance, you following closely behind.

You didn’t say much on the way too the hospital, your mind too preoccupied with worry and thinking about the worst-possible scenario for your boyfriend. Even when you arrived at the hospital, Eunwoo was immediately whisked away to get some scans and X-rays done, you being escorted to the waiting room in the meantime. It seemed like forever until a nurse approached you, leading you to the room where Eunwoo was being held.

You let out a sigh upon seeing him, almost being moved to tears as he offered you a smile, “You’re smiling? Cha Eunwoo, I oughta–”

“Baby, I’m okay.” He chuckled lightly, hand outstretched to meet yours. You frowned, putting both of your bags down to the side as you took a seat by his bedside, “Are you okay? What did the doctor say? I need to update the trainer and your coach too.”

“Nothing’s broken,” He said first, attempting to ease some of your anxiety. “The doctor said I had a nasty fall that bruised my coccyx so there’s a lot of inflammation to the area. They gave me some pain medication so I don’t really feel anything right now, but I should be discharged tomorrow. And then he gave me a referral to a chiropractor who I’ll see in about two days. But baby, I’m okay, promise.”

“You can’t play though,” You said softly, hands fiddling with his fingers, “I feel like I’m more upset than you.”

“I played hard today so I don’t regret anything.” He said simply, “it sucks that I couldn’t finish the game, but injuries are a part of being an athlete, you know that baby. Besides, from what the doctor said, I shouldn’t be out for too long, maybe just a game or two. I told him I’m in especially good hands because you’re gonna take care of me.”

You said nothing, still not fully believing that he’s taking this situation so well. “Baby...give me a smile, hm? I’ll feel much better if I see you smiling.”

Mustering up the brightest smile that you could, you finally looked up at his face. His features only softened, knowing that you were trying your best to stay strong for him, “Are you still worried?”

“Baby, you’re in the hospital.” You said as if stating the obvious, “How could I not be worried?”

“You’re so cute being all worried about me,” He teased squeezing your hand. You scoffed, finally easing up a little at his flirting. “You laughed! I heard you laugh just now!”

“You’re annoying,” You said as you took out your phone to give the head trainer updates on Eunwoo’s condition. After you pressed send, you immediately received a call from Sanha, “Hello?”

“Is Eunwoo hyung okay?!” “Is he dying?!” “Eunwoo no he’s too young to die!”

You flinched at their loud volume, turning your phone on speaker so that you and Eunwoo could both respond to their chatter. “Guys, he’s not dying.”

“I’m okay,” He laughed taking your phone. “Hold on, did we win?”

“Are you fucking serious? That’s what you wanna know?!” Myungjun scolded into the phone. You chuckled, the guys talking over each other again as they announced they were on the way to the hospital. “They never said if we won or not.”

“I guess you’ll find out when they arrive.” You said, patting his cheek as you stood, removing your sweater. “Do you want some water, baby? I could go get some.”

He shook his head, puckering up his lips for something else. “Please? I’m injured.”

“You’re going to use this to your advantage, aren’t you?” You asked leaning down to grant him a quick kiss. “Maybe.”

After handing Eunwoo his phone, you went to the bathroom for a little bit before coming back and taking a seat on the hospital bed that he so highly encouraged. “If we get scolded by the nurse, I’m blaming it on you.”

“It’s not like you’re laying in bed with me, baby. We’ll be fine.” He said putting his hand on your thigh. He rubbed your cloth of your jeans gently, thinking to himself as you responded to messages on your phone. “Baby, you know I love you, right?”

You made a sound of confusion, looking up from your phone and meeting his eyes, “Hm? Of course I do. I love you too. Why, all of a sudden?”

“Just, when Hana was talking to us earlier and when she volunteered to try and help, I could see that you were uncomfortable.” Eunwoo said gently, “It annoyed me too, to be honest. Like what else did I need to do to show that I’m dating you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You said stroking his hair, “I’m used to people thinking that they can steal you away just because they’re prettier than me or more handsome than me or whatever. It doesn’t bother me that much anymore, baby––and it shouldn’t bother you too.”

“That’s so fucked up, y/n, how can that not bother me?” He frowned. “You are the most attractive person in my eyes, baby. If anyone pulls this shit again, I swear I won’t let it slide.”

“I know,” You said quietly, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Eunwoo said, “I don’t want you to ever forget that y/n, you’re mine and no one can do anything to change that.”

“Mmm, I’m lucky that you and the guys always defend me, aren’t I?” You lightly smiled, “God, you have no idea how many times Rocky cursed Hana out in the past week.”

“As he should,” Eunwoo nodded kissing the back of your hand, “see, this is why they’re my friends.”

“Speaking of our friends.” You said looking at the door, “I can hear them coming.”

Your boyfriend chuckled, both of your attentions at the door, which shortly was opened by five boisterous guys. The sound in the hospital room suddenly increasing tenfold at their appearance, all five of them crowding and fussing around the bed. You giggled, sharing a look with Eunwoo as the guys started talking all at once. He grinned, listening until the end of their rambles. Although he was injured, Eunwoo noticed that he couldn’t be feeling any happier. He had no doubt that he would have a speedy recovery, especially if you and his best friends were right by his side. _______________________________________

2-12-21

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eelistolvanen · 3 years

Text

Atlantis - Ryan Graves

Pairing: Ryan Graves x Y/N (established)

Warnings: mentions of depression, angst

Word count: 6.1k

A/N: So this is my first NHL fic. Warning: I didn’t proveread and my first language isn’t english. This idea is based on those tiktoks about people losing their sparkle. The title is from the song Atlantis by Seafret.

Hope you enjoy :)

_____________________________

You hurried along the concours at Pepsi center, swearing under your breath. You had already missed the warm ups because you had been held up at work. You didn’t really want to miss puck drop as well. Out of breath, you made it to your seat, happy to realise that you had, in fact, not missed puck drop. You plopped down besides Mel Landeskog and groaned.

“God, I wish I could kill my boss. What a dick.” You said between trying to regain your breath. Mel chuckled beside you. “I wish you did, I don’t know why you keep working for him. I know I wouldn’t.”

Mel had briefly met your boss when she visited you over lunch at your workplace once. And she quickly let you know about her dislike for him. You weren’t a fan of him either, but besides him you liked the job and was one you had worked hard to get.

You and Mel caught up, even though you had seen each other only a few days prior. Then the players started to trickle out of the tunnel and onto the benches. Both you and Mel put the conversation to the side to focus onto the ice. Your eyes went on to search for your boyfriend immediately. It didn’t take very long to spot him, given that he was towering over all the other guys.

As if Ryan had know that you were looking for him, he turned towards the Wags section and locked eyes with you. And although you were too far away to see it properly, you were sure Ryan gave you a simple nod. He always gave you one in warmups when you were watching him. Since you weren’t able to make it in time for warmups, you got the nod now.

The game passed quickly. Both the Avs and Dallas had been playing a good and very tight game. In the end the Avs won it 4-3, thanks to a late 3rd period tiebreaker by Mikko. Ryan played a good game as well, getting an assist and a plus 2 rating.

Soon enough you found yourself down in the families room waiting for Ryan to emerge. You were holding conversation with Mel and some of the other Wags, happily letting them distract you from your long day at work.

The moment Ryan stepped out of the locker room, your eyes moved to look at him. Your subconscious was so in tune with him, you always felt his presence as soon as he entered a room. A few quick steps and he had scooped you up in his arms. This is exactly what you needed after a long day at work. A Ryan hug could fix everything.

“Good game, babe. Sorry I missed warm ups, the boss kept me in today.” You muttered into his neck, while he seemed to melt into your body. He pulled away to look at you.

“Thanks, love. It’s fine, you didn’t mean to miss it. And you made it in time for the game, that’s the important bit.” He gave you a smile and a quick wink while wrapping his arms around you and turning to say goodbye to the team. He took your hand in his while leading you out to the car and driving home.

Unfortunately the long day at work wasn’t a one off. Recently your boss had kept you in longer seemingly every day, excusing it with you needing to more effort into work since many would love to have this job. And it was starting to war you down. You knew Ryan was understanding but you still felt bad that he had to wait up for you.

By the time November rolled around, you were more stressed out and exhausted than ever. You were drowning in work and you felt like the wasn’t any end in sight soon. It didn’t help that the Avs weren’t having a good time. Instead of being at the top of the standings they were battling to stay in a playoff spot. Ans even though it was still early in the season they wouldn’t want to drop back now and even fall out of the playoff race early.

You were currently standing next to Mel and Mikko’s girlfriend waiting for the team to exit the locker room. You knew the mood wasn’t good. The team just lost against the Preds. A team who was battling against them for a playoff position. Also, you were pretty sure that Ryan noticed that you missed the first period due to being held back at work. A few players started clearing out of the locker room and you could see the loss imprinted on their faces. Riding a losing streak was bad enough, but losing against a division rival made it even bitterer.

You felt like you were barely able to breath, not knowing what Ryan’s reaction was gonna be like. Once he finally exited the room, as one of the last out, he held his head low and you could see the disappointment on his face.

He didn’t really lift his head walking over to you but still pulling you in for a hug once you were within reach. He engulfed you with his huge body and held you tight. A huge weight lifted off your chest almost immediately. And you suddenly felt like everything was going to be okay. That you had just worried to much, he would never be angry at you for missing part of a game because of work. You tried to pull him even closer, while he gave you a kiss on the head.

It was nearing the end of November and you had just pulled yourself out of bed an hour ago. It was already 2 pm and while you hoped that sleeping in on your off day would help you with the constant fatigue you were facing, all it did was making you feel even more tired. And you felt like you couldn’t get anything done recently and sitting around in your apartment all day lazily wasn’t helping your guilt at all. But you felt too lethargic to move, the grim weather wasn’t helping. You knew you should get outside more, recently only spending time at work or being holed up in your apartment, but you just couldn’t get any motivation to get up and go outside.

It wasn’t helping that Ryan was away on a road trip and wouldn’t be back in almost a week. The avs had been playing better but the still weren’t where they were supposed to be. HE had been so focused on playing well recently, you didn’t really feel like bothering him with your everyday problems. His career was important to you and you didn’t want to mess with it.

This week passed slower and you felt yourself being sucked into the black hole even further. Then on top of all the stuff that was doing badly at work at the moment, your boss had decided to bring in a new intern. He also made it pretty clear to you that the intern was trying out for your job position. You slowly felt like the weight on your shoulders was staring to crush you. Once Friday evening came, you were wrapped up in blankets on your couch, binge watching some Netflix series and eating ice cream. Ryan would fly in after his game, presumably late in the night. So you didn’t bother staying up, you would only fall asleep on the couch anyway.

You were woken up by sounds outside of your bedroom and not soon after you heard Ryan slip in. He was trying to be quiet, but you were awake now anyway.

“Hey Babe, you’re back.” Your whispered statement probably sounded more like a question but you didn’t care. His reaction told you that he wasn’t expecting you to be awake.

“Oh hey, baby. I’m sorry for waking you” You barely heard him, his voice quiet and hushed. Soon enough he slip into bed and wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you close. He must have sensed that you had a hard day at work, just from the way he was holding you close to him. And you tried your best to relax into his touch and fall asleep again.

November passed and you just couldn’t seem to catch a break anymore. Today was another horrendous day at work, where everything seemed to be going wrong lately. Your boss was more than displeased with your performance and it didn’t seem like you were able to get out of your slump anytime soon. The new intern threatening your job position was obviously not helping in easing your nerves. Now you wanted nothing more than to get home and curl yourself up on the couch in Ryan’s arms.

Finally making it to your shared apartment, you had never been so glad that Ryan wasn’t on a road trip than tonight. As soon as you were inside the door you dropped your coat and the purse in the entry, kicked of your shoes and made your way to the living room. You let out a deep sigh, the tight feeling in your chest that you had all day still letting itself be known.

As soon as you entered the living room Ryan looked up from his space on the couch. His gentle greeting went mostly unrequited. You felt a lump in your throat forming. The team had hit a rough patch time lately again and you didn’t really want him to have to deal with your problems. You knew that he had enough on his mind. So you quickly tried to give him a smile but he’d already risen from the couch, knowing you well enough to see by your posture alone that something wasn’t right.

With a couple big steps he closed the distance between you two and wrapped his arms around you tightly. You were trying to relax, let yourself drown in his big embrace but then you slowly you realise something that you had been dreading for a while now. The tight feeling in your chest was still there. You anxiety didn’t lift of you like it used to. His embrace didn’t seem to let you forget about all your worries. It didn’t seem to heal you, put your pieces back together anymore. And suddenly you realised that it hadn’t for a while now. Slowly hug after hug his power to keep you together, to calm you down, had weakened. You used to call his hugs his superpower, that no one hugged you like Ryan did. No one else’s hugs made you feel at home, made you feel safe.

But now his hugs just felt like… hugs. Normal hugs. Nothing special. Simply a hug you could get from any person you knew. No magic, no superpower. No sparkle…

You could feel your heart shatter at the sudden realization. He hugged you still the same way. He still put all his power into trying to keep you together, to pick your pieces up, to heal you. It wasn’t Ryan who lost something. It was you. You had lost your sparkle, your magic. And Ryan wouldn’t be able to fix it. Not this time.

You hadn’t even realised that silent tears had started to run down your cheeks. You let out a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. But all it did was making it worse. You let out a sob you didn’t knew you were holding deep inside you.

“Hey, hey! Shhh, it’s okay baby. Everything is gonna be okay.” Ryan slowly rubbed your back, trying to soothe you. But you knew Ryan well enough to know, that even he himself wasn’t believing his words anymore.

You quietly cried into his chest and he held you close to him. You had stayed like that for a while after. But the tight feeling in your chest didn’t lift. If anything your sudden realization made it worse.

You hit your breaking point in the beginning of December. You felt like you fell apart. You hadn’t been going to games for a while now. You came home after work and holed yourself up on the couch or tired to cry yourself to sleep.

Ryan tried to reach out to you as much as possible. He tried and tried and tried, but no matter what he did he wasn’t able to help you. His presence didn’t relieve the pain in your chest and that heavy feeling you’d been carrying around for a while now. It had gotten so bad that you had started to pull away. You didn’t consciously want to, but did it anyway. He just wasn’t able to get through to you anymore.

And this killed him. Nothing hurt him more than to see that light in you fade. Day after day, week after week, your once so bright sparkle had started to dim. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t fix you. Not anymore.

You had been thinking about it for a while now. You hated your work, Denver started to turn all grey on you and you felt like a burden to Ryan recently. You needed change.

Now, you were standing in the living room, a couple steps away from Ryan. You knew he wanted to close the space, hug you, try giving you comfort but he wasn’t sure if that’s what you really needed anymore. Silent tears ran down your face and you could see Ryan shatter right in front of you.

“Tell me we can fix this. Please Ryan, tell me that leaving isn’t the right thing to do.”

“You’re not happy here anymore, Y/N. You don’t have to stay here for me, you know? I can’t expect you to stay.”

You wanted him to be wrong. You wanted him to tell you that everything would work out, that you would be able to fix your life in Denver, that leaving wasn’t the right thing to do. But you knew better.

“Ryan, please tell me you know how to fix this. You always find a way to fix me!” You were desperate now, your voice shaking.

You hated how you could read the answer in his eyes before he even parted is lips. You knew this was it. Game over, you had nothing else to give.

“I look at you and see the ghost of someone you used to be and nothing hurts more than knowing that there’s nothing I can do to fix you. To save us. I can’t save us.” You felt yourself shatter. Game over. Nothing made it more real than him telling you. He finally closed the space between the two of you. But he didn’t hug you, he simply put his hand on your face and gently stroked the tears away with his thumb.

“I know you’re trying to look out for me, thinking about me, about us first. But you need to start looking out for yourself now. This life here isn’t treating you right anymore. It’s breaking you! You know yourself that you won’t be able to fix this here.” You inhaled shakily.

“I know, I just…” Your voice gave in.

“You know that if there was a way for me to fix this, to heal you, to do something about it, I would. You need to go, cause you won’t get better here. With me. And as much as I love you, this life here is ruining you.”

His forehead was touching yours now and both his hands were placed on your cheeks. You could feel his silent sobs. You could feel the way his heart broke when he said the following words.

“How do you look at the person you love the most and tell yourself that it’s time to let her go?”

“Don’t let go then!”

Slowly he pulled away. You tried to catch his hands in yours but of no use. Slowly he lowered them and pulled his hands from his grasp.

“Just promise me you’ll try your hardest to get better. To get that light back, that sparkle back. You will get better, but this time you have to fix yourself. I love you so much, Y/N, but I just want you to be happy. Maybe one day this will include me again.”

With that he gave you a last kiss on your forehead and turned around and walked towards the door. That’s when you broke down. You knew this was real know. The bags you packed would actually be used, the calls home you made to tell your family about coming home would actually hold its promise, the resignation on your job would actually be sent in. You knew this was only supposed to be a break for you to find yourself again and come back after. But right now this felt more like a finale breakup than anything else.

At first being home seemed to do you good. You spent a lot of time with your family, you didn’t have to think about your job anymore. But it didn’t take long for that cold, nagging feeling in your chest to return. So you had started to visit a therapist. And you tried your hardest to do the little tasks she sent you home with after each session. But somehow you just felt so broken. You felt so exhausted, so lifeless. It was hard for you to find joy in something nowadays. You felt… empty.

Weeks passed. Christmas came and went. You tried to set yourself some goals, some solutions for the new year. But things didn’t seem to get better.

Ryan really didn’t want to look at his phone. Another loss, another season that seemed to go to waste. An now he couldn’t even go home and hold you in his arms for consolidation. He already dreaded the empty house he would come home to. He really couldn’t call it his home anymore. Just a place he used for sleeping or the occasional nap. Nowadays he spent as much time at the rink or at teammates houses as possible. The house was just so cold without you. Like all life had left it. Once he was seated in his car he finally gave his phone a quick glance. He did a doubletake to make sure his eyes weren’t betraying him. But there it was you name on screen. Had had left him a voicemail.

His chest tightened as he realised that you probably called him on purpose during the game. You knew that he was playing, he was sure of that. He had to take a couple of deep breath before being able to press play on the voicemail.

At first he could only hear your shaky breath, presumably teary eyed. He felt a sudden stab to his heart.

“Hey Ryan, I know this is out of nowhere but I just…” Your voice went silent again. This time he was sure that you were sobbing quietly.

“I’m trying so hard, but I don’t know how much longer I can fight… But I want you to know that there was nothing you could have done to help me, Ryan. You did your best.” He could hear your sobs now loudly and clearly, and it broke his heart.

“And you have to know that if I ever lose my battle to depression… know that I fought, know that I tried, know I did my best to overcome it. I love you so much, Ryan.”

And with that the voicemail ended. Ryan felt like someone ripped to ground from underneath him. Felt like he was spiralling down a dark hole. He let out a gasp, feeling himself tear up.

He knew he had to call you back, as soon as possible. But it was proving to be a challenge. His vision was blurry from his teary eyes and it wasn’t helping that his hands were shaking uncontrollably. It felt like he was just sitting there in his car for ages, before he had calmed himself down enough to press the call button.

He didn’t really know what he was going to say. He didn’t even know where to start, all he knew that he needed to hear your voice. Now.

It kept ringing and ringing but you didn’t pick up. He tried multiple times but nothing. His calls went unanswered. With a heavy heart he decided to drive home, since he was still sitting in the parking lot at Pepsi center.

At home he tried again. And again just before letting his exhausted body fall asleep. But you didn’t pick up. Finally, the next morning just when he thought another call would go to voicemail you answered.

“Hey.” Honestly you didn’t know what else to say and you also didn’t know to expect.

“You wouldn’t do it, right? You wouldn’t… you know end it, right?” He sounded desperate, you could sense the urgency in his voice.

“Ryan…” “No, you wouldn’t do this to me, right? I love you, Y/N. I need you. I let you leave so you could get better, not to …”

His voice cut out, and his sentence went unfinished. You didn’t really know what to tell him. The voicemail was made impulsively. You had a bad day yesterday. Well, you had a lot of bad days recently.

“What do I have to do Y/N? Tell me what I can do? I thought that letting you go home, getting out for a while might help, apparently it didn’t. God, if you tell me that you want to come home, home to me, I’ll step on the next airplane and will get you myself.”

You laughed humourlessly.

“No, you were right. I have to fix myself. I had to get away from all of that. But I just can’t seem to get better. I don’t know that else to do, Ryan. I try to focus on myself, I go to a therapist, I try to get outside a lot. But… nothing.”

“You will get better, you have to. I couldn’t handle losing you, Y/N!”

Denver airport was buzzing this particular early February morning. You stood at the baggage claim, waiting for your suitcase to appear. The waiting time left you questioning yourself whether you made the right decision to come back here. You were only coming for a few days. To catch up with Mel and Linnea. Really Mel had been the one pushing you, saying that it would do you good to talk with someone you used to see almost everyday.

Finally you spotted your suitcase and made your way towards the exit. Finding Mel was easy enough, since she had spotted you way before you were near her and was now waving frantically. As soon as you got to her she gave you a big hug. Still, you were feeling at unease. You didn’t really know why. The team was on a roadtrip and wouldn’t be back for a few days, so there was no possibility to run into Ryan.

You weren’t actively avoiding him but you weren’t ready to face him either. YOU hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. You were supposed to be gone for a bit and come back once you felt better. Now over 2 months had passed and you weren’t better at all. You weren’t ready to come back, you were just visiting. You weren’t even sure anymore if you could ever come back. And that scared you. You used to love the city, loved living here, loved your job. Now, that was all gone. How would you be able to tell Ryan this? Tell him that you were failing at fixing yourself. Tell him to wait around for you, in hope that maybe one day, one day you would get better.

He had tried to call you occasionally but you usually weren’t picking up. Just sending him lame excuses for not answering the phone, knowing that he would see right through you. But you couldn’t stand to hear his voice. He cared so much, even though you weren’t giving him any reason to. You wouldn’t be able to lie to him, wouldn’t be able to give him false hope, that it would all work out. Cause truly, you’d given up hope.

Mel was right. Catching up did you good. You had missed her, in a way you had also missed Denver. The Denver you used to love, before everything turned grey and lifeless. You talked to her for hours. You played with Linnea, went out for lunch and even agreed to watch the Avs game in the evening.

Talking with Mel put a lot into perspective for you. You saw things from a different view. You realised that not everything always was gonna be perfect. That you didn’t need to have that dreamjob to feel happy. Quiet the opposite actually. Trying to be enough had torn you apart.

You didn’t just talk about you and your struggles but also about stupid everyday things. About that coffeeshop you went to, about funny stories on the team, about Linnea’s newest adventures. And you realised how much you wanted this back. This life you used to love so much, before you let it take control over you.

Those couple of days seemed to pass in a hurry and you would soon return home. This time with a goal to return rather sooner than later. That morning Gabe had left for the first practice since returning from their roadtrip. When he came back the three of you, Linnea was asleep upstairs, hung around in the kitchen making light conversation. You heard the door open and close, but you really didn’t think of much. Mel’s panicked look threw you off guard.

“You were supposed to tell Ryan that he can’t come over after practice today,- !” Mel’s harsh whispering towards Gabe was cut short as Ryan entered the kitchen. Suddenly everything went silent. It took Ryan a couple seconds to spot you, but his shocked look his face told you that Gabe at least hadn’t told the team that you were back in town.

Ryan was still wrangling for words, while Gabe and Mel quickly escaped the kitchen. You wished you could have too.

“You’re back. I didn’t know…” You knew he didn’t mean to sound so accusing and hurt, but it still stung. “Were you going to tell me?”

You were fighting for words. You didn’t think you would see him, you were hoping he wouldn’t find out. Your silence was enough of an answer for him, the disappointment written all over his face.

“I only came to visit, I’m not staying, Ryan.” You realised too late how wrong your words sounded. Ryan let out a sigh, frustration slowly building up.

“Obviously not to visit me.” He sounded sad and hurt. “I thought this was just some time away for you, not like… a breakup or something.”

“It’s not, Ryan. I- “ But you really didn’t know how to answer this honestly. Because it did feel like a breakup to you too.

He stepped closer to you before speaking up quietly. “ I love you, Y/N! I always will. And I’ll wait for you as long as you want me to. I won’t give up on you, ok? But if this is not what you want anymore, I need to know. Cause I can’t keep calling you, reaching out to you, keep holding on if you have already let go.”

You wanted to speak up, but you just didn’t know how. You just didn’t know how to let him down easy. And you could see in his eyes that he was waiting for you. But the longer you waited, the further he seemed to slip away.

He gave you a sad smile and a silently mouthed “I love you” before turning around and walking towards the door.

You knew he was long out of earshot when you finally spoke those words back to him.

“I love you too, Ryan.”

The rest of the day passed slowly. Everything seemed to drag on. You would fly back home the next day and you knew you had to tell Ryan to hold on just a bit longer. But you felt immobilized. Mel tried to talk to you about your confrontation, but to no use. You pushed her away, shut her out. So she let you be.

You were sitting in Mel’s car on your way to the airport. Mel was making light conversation and was actively avoiding the elephant in the room. And you were thankful for that. You wouldn’t know what to say.

For a minute you considered telling Mel to turn the car around and drive you to Ryan’s apartment. To your apartment. But you couldn’t do it. And a couple hours later you were sitting in the plane taking you towards your hometown.

You’d been sulking at home the entire rest of the day. You had to tell him. The sooner the better. But you hated confrontation so you waited til the next morning, when you were sure he was at practice. Your voicemail was short but hopefully enough to get the message across.

“Don’t… don’t give up on me, Ryan. I’m trying ok?” That was all you had said.

When he called you in the evening, it was the first time in a long time you answered to one of his calls. You talked for what felt like hours. Nothing deep or meaningful, just the little things. But when you hung up and you went to bed, it was the first time in months where you didn’t have trouble falling asleep.

Now you weren’t missing a single call of his. He asked you about your day, about your session with the therapist, whether you’d drank enough water and you would ask him about his day, about the team, about practice or about the game. Over the next months those calls started to become your favourite part of your day. It was one of the things you were looking forward to.

As you were sitting in your therapist’s office late in march, you kept replaying something she’d said earlier during the session. “You only know how to use the tools to fix your heart, but that doesn’t mean someone else can’t stand beside you and hand them to you.”

And you realised just how right she was. While nobody else could use those tools, it helped to know that there was someone standing beside you supporting you, helping you out, guiding you. And that someone was Ryan. And you knew then that that two of you would be fine. Even if it took a while til you got better. You’d already gotten better over the last few weeks.

So a couple of days before the regular season ended you flew back into Denver. This time not for a visit. You hadn’t told Ryan that you were coming. Since Mel or Gabe couldn’t come pick you up EJ came and drove you home. Talking with him on the drive home made you realise just how much you missed the team. They were like a second family to you. EJ was probably more excited for you to be back than you himself. He kept telling you how hard it had been for Ryan to be away from you and that he was glad that you were finally back so he wouldn’t have to hear Ryan pour his heart out to him on every team flight.

EJ helped you carry your bags up to your apartment door but told you that he would let the two of you reunite in peace. It took you a bit to calm your nerves before you were able to knock. Technically you still had the key and it was still your home as well, but you didn’t want to just barge in.

You could hear his footsteps walking towards the door and you were sure that you could feel your heart beating louder than ever before. You couldn’t hear any hesitation in his steps, indicating that he definitely hadn’t looked through the peephole before opening the door. This was only further proven by his shocked expression he wore when realising who was standing in front of him.

The surprised expression didn’t stay for long though and before you knew you were being scooped up into his arms. You could hear him exhale slowly. “You’re back…”

Your breath was caught in your throat. Shocked you looked down at the ice where your boyfriend had you moments before made heavy contact with the boards. It was midway through the third period and an opposing player thought the best was to avenge his teams 4 goal deficit by giving out a dirty boarding hit. It was the last regular season game and the clinching game for both teams, so emotions were running hot. He was still down, not moving. You watched in shock as the athletic trainers made their way onto the ice. Mel had wrapped an arms around your shoulder but you barely acknowledged her.

You could faintly hear her soft “He’s going to be fine Y/N, okay?” All you could do was give her a slow nod. In what seemed like slow motion, Ryan was helped onto his feet by the trainer and some of his teammates. His head hung low and he was basically dragged towards the tunnel but at least he was able to get up on his own.

You released the breath you were holding. You were still shaking but he seemed to be better than you first anticipated. The rest of the game passed by you in a blur. You were on autopilot. You barley registered Nate scoring on the powerplay that resulted from the hit. Neither did you acknowledge the empty netter from Mikko making it 6-0 for the avs in the end and subsequently clinching a playoff spot. As soon as the buzzer sounded you were out of your seat, trying to make your way down to the locker room.

Mel caught your arm and tugged you towards her. “Hey, he will be just fine, okay? He’s a though one. Let’s go down together, yeah?” You quickly nodded and gave her a hug. “Thank you, I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.” You meant it, she was always such a good friend to you. She gave you a reassuring smile before wrapping an arm around you and making your way down to the locker room.

You were pacing holes into the carpet in the families room, impatiently waiting for someone to come out of the locker room and give you an update on Ryan. You nearly jumped EJ when he finally emerged as the first player.

“He’s fine Y/N. Just a little shaken up. He’ll be out soon.” He gave you a quick hug. And it really didn’t take long for Ryan to emerge. He looked tired and worn out, but he was walking on his own and you couldn’t detect any injury so you took this as a good sign.

He quickly closed the distance and pulled you in for hug. It was quiet but you could still hear him mutter “I’m fine, Y/N. I’m glad you’re back” into your hair. And in this moment you realised that the anxiety, the tight feeling in your chest and the worry about Ryan had lifted. One simple hug let all your worries wash away. It seemed to fix all your problems and worries. Just like it had used to do.

When Ryan pulled away you could see it in him as well. That realization. He gave you a kiss on your temple.

“You’re back, Y/N. You’re back. God, I missed you so much.”

And you knew he didn’t just mean your physical return to Denver. You were back.

*the end*

#ryan graves #ryan graves fic #ryan graves imagine #ryan graves x reader #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #colorado avalanche

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.

That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!

Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.

Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.

Performance: Lets go one by one here:

Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.

Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.

Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.

Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.

The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.

Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.

Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.

Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.

Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:

Matthew Patel

Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.

Lucas Lee

Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.

Todd Ingram

As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

Roxy Richter

Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.

The Katayanagi Twins

These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.

Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-

Wait?

What’s this?!

Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott

…

youtube

#Psycho Analysis #Scott Pilgrim #Scott Pilgrim vs. the World #The League of Evil Exes #Matthew Patel #Lucas Lee #Todd Ingram #Roxy Richter #Katayanagi Twins #Gideon Gordon Graves #Chris Evans #Mae Whitman #Brandon Routh #jason schwartzman

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soysaucevictim · 5 years

Text

Katana Week = fun and done! I’m so happy about doing it!

Sept. 15

I woke up a bit after 11AM.

Did a bit of gaming and YouTube before exercising.

First, today’s DD. 1′ hooks with EC. I counted 51 reps by the end and had a lot of fun! This is one of my favorite types of punches, too! :D

Second, Katana Warmup. Straightforward stuff. I did do the infinity circles correctly this time - but better with my dominant hand. It was still a bit of a head-trip to get my left hand to do it as smoothly. :,D

Last, Day 2 of KW. Today’s workout was “Ninja Hunter“, and I went for Level 2 again. I chose the intermediate grip structure, like last time (half of each exercise/combo for each leading hand at a time.) And it was a good idea to do it outside with gloves on. I still had a lot of fun!

... d’oh. I guess I forgot to incorporate stepping back/forward with my footwork (for first and last combo). And I should’ve been crossing my arms for the first combo (misinterpreting the drawing and mis-remembering the video I watched).

I think I may have to bring the video outside with me so I can execute everything properly, as I do it (not after the fact). orz

I spent some hours with the usual, before doing a bit of drawing before bed.

Sept. 16

I woke up around the same time as yesterday.

Did a bit of gaming before making some phone calls about transportation, before starting today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 30 glute flexes with EC. This was fun and manageable. Was a bit dubious about eating a bunch of chocolate beforehand, but that wasn't a problem.

(After picking up some Subway, but not eating quite yet.)

Second, Katana Warmup. I feel like I’m getting there with the left-handed infinity circles,

Third, Day 3 of KW. Today’s workout was “Samurai“, also at Level 2 with the same structure. It did take a bit to grock that first combo - but when it clicked, I was excited! I had a lot of fun throughout! =w=

THIS TIME, I can say I did things right, and it was super satisfying to nail things down! It was a good call, if a bit clunky to take my phone out for it.

(After taking a shower and chatting a bit...)

Last, Day 10 of the B&CP, with dad. Balance & Coordination Day, with the obvious modification of using the wall for assist and dropping the foot for a bit for the transitions.

Sept. 17

I woke up around 7:30AM.

Got to the facility, socialized, attended group, and worked on some drawing stuff again.

One of the first things I did when I got back home was starting my exercise.

First, Katana Warmup.

Second, Day 4 of KW. Today’s workout was “Quick Draw“, done at Level 2. I think this went pretty smoothly - I think this was just a bit easier to grock quickly, but there were a few feints/false-starts due to brain farts.

(After picking up food with my brother.)

Third, I took a short walk with Dad and the dog. The dog was pretty happy.

Last, today’s DD. 40 side [elbow] planks with rotations with EC. Kinda barely, mostly due to sleep deprivation. The switch up was awkward and I smacked my desk on accident, but I didn't break plank during readjustment. Oof.

I pretty much spent the rest of my day on YouTube and gaming.

Sept. 18

I woke up a bit before noon.

I did a bit of gaming, watched some YouTube, and chatted before getting started on today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 reverse plank kicks with EC. This is definitely a personal favorite - so I had fun doing it! :D

Second, Katana Warmup.

Third, Day 5 of KW. Today’s workout was “1000 Cuts“. You would think with such a simple directive of hitting 1k cuts would be straightforward. But MAN it’s so easy to get mixed up trying to keep count while executing them (in the order illustrated, but that wasn’t required of the workout).

I counted roughly 5-10 sets, depending on how you might count them. I didn’t rest for very long in between and it was mostly because of problems keeping count than outright exhaustion.

25 combos with right then left lead (but counted each individual swing, which got confusing FAST)

5 combos right/left (got my directions mixed up, swinging same direction as lead instead of away for the horizontal one... made doing the uppercuts SUPER awkward)

20 combos right/left (back to the normal, less awkward directions)

25 combos right/left

50 combos right/left (FINALLY, actually counting by combos which was a lot easier on my brain; also these were when I started to really feel it in terms of exhaustion.)

I’ve also probably under-counted slightly due to losing my place a few times too... :/

(After some chatting, making dinner, and the usual stuff...)

Last, Day 11 of the B&CP, with Dad. Not much to say other than I thought it went well enough! Modded down the knee-to-elbows (feet allowed to tap ground) and the windshield wipers (made them knee tucks, because dad still need to work on his stability). Still happy we’re chugging along.

Did some more gaming before heading for bed.

Sept. 19

I woke up a bit before 8AM, today.

Went to the facility, did some more drawing, socialized, and went to group.

My neck was starting to hurt during the group - so afterwards, I spent time doing the Neck Workout (helped slightly), before doing today’s DD. It was 40 knee-in & twists with EC. It was doable despite the neck pain and sleep deprivation.

I spent the rest of my time borrowing a rag, soaking it in warm water, and raping on my neck, waiting for pick-up. Also mildly helpful.

Got home and one of the first things I did was the rest of my exercise (since I already had my shoes on.)

First, Katana Warmup.

Last, Day 6 of KW. Today’s workout was “4 Assassins“, done at Level 2. Despite getting video to help me along - I was still confused and a bit frustrated with this one. Mostly because of he awkward feeling grips (namely the middle 2) I had to make for it. So there were many stops and starts to scratch my head. Something worth practicing again, though.

I then spent my day on the usual.

Sept. 20

I woke up a bit after 11AM.

Did a bit of gaming before starting on my exercise for the day.

First, today’s DD. 3′ arm extensions with EC. I counted exactly 200 reps. I mostly wanted to see if I could maintain a pace of at least 1/sec and happy I did! A fun challenge! :D

Second, Katana Warmup.

Third, Day 7 of Katana Week. Today’s workout was “Dance with Dragons“, done at Level 2. Okay. This was SO MUCH fun. Took me a moment to get the hang of stringing that combo together (for both sides), but once I found my groove, it was AMAZING. This was quite possibly my favorite day in this event and was a such a great note to end on!

That being said, I did decide to revisit some of the days I found myself less confident on, afterwards. (Even though I’ve been flirting with overtraining in doing so. Oof.)

Fourth, Day 1 of KW, “Shadow Warrior“, Level 1. I made sure to work in more of the lunging action for the last combo - which got VERY aerobic. The cross + uppercut combos were still a bit awkward, but all in all, this was a more satisfying execution than the first time around!

Fifth, Day 2 of KW, “Ninja Hunter“, Level 1. I’m way happier with my footwork this time. And I did check whether I needed to have arms crossing or parallel as the illustration required. A few brain farts here and there - but better!

Last, Day 6 of KW, “4 Assassins“, Level 1. Okay, I think I started to piece together these weird grip positions, better this time. I wasn’t as frustrated and confused, which I will count as a win!

With that - I feel like I’ve truly earned my Katana Week badge. \o/

To review, if I had to rank my most to least favorite days:

Day 7 - Dance with Dragons

Day 3 - Samurai

Day 4 - Quick Draw

Day 5 - 1000 Cuts

Day 2 - Ninja Hunter

Day 1 - Shadow Warrior

Day 6 - 4 Assassins

As far as what I intend to do next? For the next few weeks, I’m going to be doing some training plan stuff. Maaaybe try Hell Week at the end, no guarantees!

[I’m going to post this now and add whatever else I get done today, later.]

#adventures with fitness

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universetwo · 6 years

Text

[Monday to Saturday] Chapter 1. - Wonwoo Needs to Fall in Love

Warmup Post ✧ Masterlist

"She walks into the room, she looks at him, and says, I regret dating all of those guys before you, I regret making fun of you when you were just a simple nerd playing games for hours at one sitting, now I realize you are the only one I love. Then he stands up, slowly walks to her and says, You only love me now because you figured out my father is a CEO, you only love me for my money! He shouts then he walks out from the room and slams the door!"

Everyone in the room, including me, is silently blinking and processing what just happened. Seungcheol hyung is standing passionately on the couch while holding my script up high.

"Hyung, I think that's a terrible idea. We are not going to win this competition with such a cliché storyline," says Jihoon with his arms crossed, which makes Seungcheol hyung get off the couch with a deep sigh.

"You are such a party pooper. People love drama scenarios, we should do something similar," he still pushes and Jihoon rolls his eyes.

"But we are not doing this for average people! A strict professional film community will judge every submission so we have to come up with something more creative," adds Jihoon and he grabs my script and looks through it again.

"I quite like what Wonwoo wrote… I think that's pretty exciting and they might like it," shrugs Soonyoung and I shake his hand.

"Fine, but there is some stuff where you should add more emotions," Seungcheol hyung says as he turns towards me and he pats my shoulder.

"Yes, sir."

We started to work on this movie project back in January when we were all on winter break. Even if we could have gone home to spend some time with our families, most of us stayed on the campus to take some extra classes or continue our part-time jobs.

I was passing by the film lab while I was sorting out some documents for the film department, just to earn some money, and I saw this flier with a competition on it. It said, make a short movie, maximum twenty minutes, of an original story and you can win up to ₩5,000,000 for each crew member and a trip to France for the International Young Adult Film Makers Festival.

We never thought about making a movie but this seemed like a great opportunity. In our group, many of us are talented in multiple fields. We have Seungcheol hyung who likes to be in charge of things, we have Mingyu and Minghao who are good with designs and know how to work a camera, we have actors like Seungkwan, Seokmin, Chan, and Junhui, then Hansol who is good at editing, and last but not least our Jihoonie who is good at everything related to sound and music and he is also serious about these kinds of projects. But I'm also here who is sort of good at writing stories, at least that's what my minor is. And with all honesty, now at the beginning of the project, I have the most pressure on me.

"There are some parts that need to be stronger in the dialogue," says Jihoon as he is holding a red pen in his right hand and starts drawing lines around some parts of the script. After most of the guys left, some of stayed behind in our dorm room to go over the script. Jihoon and I were sitting at the table next to each other. He was really focused on looking over the script all over again and trying to give me good feedback and advice.

"Yes, I agree… but the thing is, you all want some romance in the story but I'm not good with it," I say while I'm looking down on my hands, ignoring his eyes that filled with confusion. I feel a bit embarrassed.

"Then go and fall in love," laughs Mingyu who is leaning back on the kitchen counter.

"As if it would be that easy. None of us are good in relationships," defends Soonyoung and he is right in a way.

"Speak for yourself hyung," retorts Chan and he raises his hand to show off his promise ring which we all know so well by now. That cocky smile of his cannot be erased. It's annoying that the maknae among us had a girlfriend in college before any of us. I mean, we have three guys who are seniors but they never dated in the past four years.

"Okay, you don't have to remind us how miserably lonely we are," sighs Mingyu and he walks away while shaking his head.

"Why doesn't Chan write the story then or at least the romance dialogues?" I ask and Jihoon starts to laugh.

"Have you ever seen his writing? This kid can only write business reports for his classes and other than that I heard him talk to his girlfriend and I thought he is talking to his mom," laughs Jihoon and I look over to Chan to see his reaction. He is about to blow up.

"Jihoon hyung! Why do you have to be so mean?" He whines then he stands up from the table and walks away. Now I'm only left with Soonyoung and Jihoon. Everyone else left.

"Okay, here is the plan. You get one week to look over it, watch as many romantic movies as you can, even the most cringy ones. Write over the dialogues and then it is ready. I think plot-wise it's pretty good," compliments Jihoon and I thank him with a nod. Soonyoung, who has been sitting in the armchair slowly stands up and walks over to us. He puts his hands on the table and leans over with a serious face.

"Not to ruin the mood, but I think even after watching ten million romantic movies, emotionless Wonwoo will not be able to write any sweet cheesy love dialogues. He is just incapable of human emotions," teases Soonyoung while holding his poker face. I pick up my pen and throw it at him.

"Just because you haven't seen me cry in front of all of you that doesn't mean I don't have emotions," I say with a sharp voice and Soonyoung shakes his head.

"It's not about crying though but have you ever been in love?" He suddenly asks and I gulp.

"I don't know…"

"You see Jihoon, a writer should have experience in life. I think Wonwoo is good at writing crime stories and such but when it comes to emotions…"

"Okay cut it out, I trust Wonwoo," sighs Jihoon as he interrupts Soonyoung and he firmly closes the script.

"Besides, you said I can write crime stories well, but I have never been a detective before," I shrug.

"We just don't know that. Every night you disappear from seven until ten. What are you doing then?"

"I'm in the library damn it! I work there and I study there."

"We don't have witnesses to that," shrugs Soonyoung and he makes me want to hit him.

"Okay Soonyoung I think you should leave, I still have things to talk about with Wonwoo…"

"I live here for god's sake!" Soonyoung shouts then he takes out some milk from the fridge and disappears into his room.

"He is like this with me because I always annoy him so now he feels good that he can do the same with me," I sigh and I take the script from Jihoon to look over his notes.

The sun is slowly setting and we are getting closer to seven. I have to leave soon.

"Do you think it will work out?"

Jihoon looks down at the table and sighs. He thinks for a few seconds and then raises his head to look at me.

"I don't know… I can't predict it. It's all new for me too. It's not like producing songs, this is more complicated," he says and I nod. Although it's quite funny how easy song producing is for him, but I agree that this project seems to be more challenging than we thought it would be. We have been working on it for more than a month now… and we have until June to finish up everything. It should sound long but when we think about the whole process, those months will go by too quickly. But in our dictionary the words 'give up' don't exist.

"I have a present for you, though…" says Jihoon and puts a set of keys on the table. "I figured it would be good for you to watch some movies on the big screen. I have a high school friend who works at the local cinema and I borrowed this key from him. Every night you can go in the cinema, go to the screening room #10, they barely use that one, and on the computer, they have a selection of movies and then the whole room is yours," says cheerfully Jihoon and I just can't believe all the connections he has. I take the keys in my hand and I’m speechless for a second.

“So I should just go into the room and watch some romance movies?”

“I guess that might help...” He shrugs then he suddenly stands up. “I should leave now, you have to go to work soon.”

Every night at the library is the same. The building is located in the middle of the campus. It’s five floors tall and filled with thousands of books. They are mostly scholarly books for studying and research but there is a section on the fifth floor that is for recently published fictional books and classic literature. I spent most of my time there when I was a freshman, sometimes even fell asleep there. That’s when the main librarian offered me to work there.

The job itself is easy. I have to help students find books either on the shelves as a physical copy or online in the university’s database. Then I have to organize the books that are dropped down at the main desk after the loan time is over. And when I’m done with all of these I either study or borrow a book from the fifth floor and read for fun.

But these days I spend most of my free time even at my job by working on the script. I have fifty pages so far and I feel that I’m close to the end, but the others keep find problems with the dialogues. I don’t know what can be the problem because I read a lot of books that have romance in it... but it’s just not working out for me.

Tonight I’m thinking about the boys’ words. I have to fall in love in order to be able to write more emotion filled conversations between two characters. As if that would be so easy... I’m good at writing deep, meaningful words and interesting scenarios but when it comes to emotions, I get stuck.

“Wonwoo, what are you thinking about?” A sudden voice stops me from my chain of thoughts. I look up from the blank paper I have been staring at for minutes to see my boss standing by the desk. I quickly stand up and bow to greet her.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about the script, you know the one I told you about,” I say with a weak voice and she smiles warmly at me. She takes the paper but there is a sudden disappointment in her eyes when she sees it’s completely blank.

“Oh, but you haven’t written anything yet,” she observes and then she puts back down the paper.

“It’s not going so well...” I confess then I sink back in my chair with a deep sigh.

“I understand it but please try to continue your work without a problem,” she says then she points at the stack of unorganized books that are waiting for me. I say sorry and as she leaves I get up from the desk. I put all the books in the small cart that helps me push these heavy research materials back to their right spot.

As I’m going through different aisles, I feel something is not right. I keep hearing crying noises but the problem with that the sound is just too familiar. I try to look for the source of the sound and follow it. That’s when I see Junhui hiding away in one of the small study rooms. The lights are off but I can recognize him by the way he sits and lowers down his head on the table. I have seen him like this a couple of times...

“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask him which makes him jump a little. I leave the cart behind and I go towards the tiny windowless room. In fact, there is not even a door on it. It’s really just for people to feel a bit more secluded when they want to get ready for the exams.

“Ah, Wonwoo. I’m just- I’m,” he is trying to look for the right words but they don’t come out well. I sit down on a chair next to him and pat his back a little. Around him, there are some Chinese textbooks laid out on the table. He was tutoring again.

“Did someone insult you again?” I ask, feeling my head starting to boil. Junhui silently nods and wipes away his tears. Usually, the others don’t really know when something like this happens. The only reason why Junhui shares his concerns with me because not once I found him like this in the library. “Those bastards. I told you, you should tell Seungcheol and he will beat them up for you.”

“I don’t want anyone to get beaten up because of me,” He says and closes all the books and shoves them in his backpack. “I’m fine. I can take it. I’m just a bit more sensitive because I haven’t seen my family for almost a year,” Junhui hurridly stands up and leaves the room. I want to say something to him, but the right words don’t come out. Again... those damn emotions.

When I turn on the lights to see if there is any trash in the room that should be taken out, I see a piece of paper lying on the floor. There is Korean and Chinese writing on it. The Chinese one I can’t understand but the Korean one is pretty clear, “Stupid Communist”.

I feel even more down after this situation. I finish packing the books back to the shelves and then my shift is finally over. I’m ready to head back to the dorm but when I want to put my phone in my jeans pocket, that’s when I find the keys that Jihoon gave me. I decide to visit the cinema even though I feel like just going home and playing some games until I fall asleep.

It takes me fifteen minutes from the campus to get to the local cinema. For my luck, it starts to rain and the cold wind doesn’t make the situation any better. I finally reach the cinema but I have no idea where I should go in. I send a short text to Jihoon and I’m worried what if he is in his studio. Because if so, then there is no way he would answer his phone. But fortunately, he texts me back after three minutes.

“Look for the back door” says the text message. The building itself is not so modern compared to the buildings around it. It seems pretty old and it’s hard to imagine that there are at least ten screening rooms inside. I go around the building and at the back, there is a little grass filled yard where they have huge trashcans and some garbage caught up in the bushes. I find the door and try one of the keys inside the hole. After a few tries, one of them finally works. I open the door and find myself in a dark hallway. I decide to not turn on any lights, just the flashlight on my phone. I don’t want anyone to find me there.

I pass by a couple of doors but none of them are labeled as screening rooms. Just a bunch of staff rooms and empty rooms with traces of popcorn on the carpet floor. The whole atmosphere feels like as if it has been so long since any human entered this building. But when I hear some muffled voices from upstairs and even farther a movie is playing, the building feels less abandoned.

I’m close to giving up the search when I notice a bigger and fancier double door. Above the frame, there is a small plate placed on the wall that says Screening Room #10. I slowly take out the keys to not make any sounds and the first key I try opens the door right away.

Inside it’s pitch black dark and smells moldy. I put up my phone high to light up the room. It looks like an ordinary cinema room with about fifteen aisles and a huge screen at the front. I guess to put in some movies, I have to go up the stairs and get into the back room.

I trip a few times before I get up then I try the keys again. Next time for sure I should label which one of them opens which door to make my journey easier. When the door klicks open, that’s when I notice a person standing behind the computer. I realize it’s a girl and she has headphones on. Her back is to me so I don’t know what to do. I should run or I could talk to her... but then she would ask me why I’m here.

As I’m thinking about what should I do next, suddenly the screen lights up and the typical Fox Searchlight Pictures intro starts following other company intros. I’m still frozen in the door but when the girl starts to move, I suddenly jump to the upper seat and down in the aisle. I shuffle back while I’m crouching so she won’t notice me. I don’t know where I could find an escape route other than the one I came in. So I just stay low between the seats.

For my luck, when she comes out from the room, she sits down only a few seats from my hiding spot. If she would look to her right, she would immediately see my stupid-self crouching down, looking scared as hell like a creepy cockroach. But she is entirely focused on the movie. I don’t know what movie is it. I can’t make it out from the beginning.

I try to observe the girl if I know her or not. She seems like she is around my age. She is wearing a light colored sweater, perhaps yellow, it’s hard to make it out from my position. She is wearing a denim skirt and black tights with sneakers. I can’t really see her face but I can tell she is wearing glasses. Her hair doesn’t seem so dark colored, probably dyed to some lighter shade.

The movie starts very quietly but then suddenly a woman speaks up in English, which makes me jump. The girl still doesn’t notice me. The woman in the movie keeps talking and I make it out that her accent is more British than American. After a while, I guess the scene changes, and children are singing. It kind of creeps me out, especially because I don’t see what’s going on. My legs are starting to go numb and I really don’t know what to do.

When the children stop singing suddenly my phone starts to ring. This brings an end to my hideaway spot. As soon as I try to decline Soonyoung’s call the girl stands up with a slight scream.

“Who the hell are you?” She shouts at me over the dialogue in the movie. I finally stand up, feeling my back bones crack a little.

“I can explain, just give me a second,” I say and I start to go closer to her so I don’t have to shout over the movie but she is keeping her distance.

“Don’t come closer, you creeper!” She shouts again then she runs into the back room. I try to go after her but she closes the door on me. The door has a glass window so I get the chance to look into her eyes. I can see she is scared and I feel so pathetic. But I can also see some kind of realization in her eyes. Does she know me?

“You!” She mouths. “How did you get in here?” She asks as she opens the door. In the back, I can hear children talking and playing in the movie.

“I got these keys from my friend,” I raise them up so she can see them.

“From what friend?”

“Someone...”

“Come on, I need to know!” She yells and I shake a little. She is a bit more fierce than I thought she would be.

“Lee Jihoon,” I answer quickly and she looks confused again.

“Why would he have keys to the screening room?” She asks but this sounds more like a question to herself, not to me.

“I don’t know, he said he has a friend in here and he said people don’t really use this room so I can come and watch any movies. I didn’t expect anyone to be here,” I confess and the girl sighs.

“Listen here Jeon Wonwoo, this is my place here, okay? I come here every second day for various reasons. I don’t why your friend Lee Jihoon or his friend think no one is using the screening room. I am using it! So please leave now,” she says with a firm voice and I feel like I don’t have another choice. I start to slowly walk away and while I can, I take a look at the screen. It is really a movie I haven’t seen before but I can’t really make it out if I know anyone in it.

“By the way, how do you know my name?” I ask her but she is not behind me anymore. She closed the door and went back to the computer. I can see her rewinding the movie to watch what she missed. I decide to not bother her because I don’t want to get into trouble, so I just leave.

When I get back to our dorm room, I find Mingyu in our kitchen while Jihoon is sitting on the counter. Junhui and Joshua’s room door is closed so I assume they might be sleeping already. I can hear Soonyoung singing in the bathroom so he is home too. I wonder why did he call me.

“You are back so early,” Jihoon says as he looks at his watch.

“I met a girl,” I sigh and I drop myself down on the couch. Both of them look at me as if I said I met with a ghost.

“Wow hyung, that was really quick. When we told you to fall in love, I didn’t think you will take it this seriously,” says Mingyu and I don’t know if he is serious or just teasing me.

“It’s not like that. There was a girl in the screening room. And she chased me out. Well, not literally but she told me to get lost basically,” I say while I stretch out on the couch. Jihoon looks surprised, so he didn’t know about it.

“Okay, that’s weird. My friend said nobody uses it,” replies Jihoon and he takes out his phone. I guess he is calling his friend.

“Do you want some ramen?” Suddenly asks Mingyu as he is standing by the couch. I look up at him and silently nod.

“It was so weird though...” I say as I follow him into the kitchen. “The girl knew my name... it felt like she knows me and maybe even Jihoon. It’s just so weird.”

“Well, you are not really the popular type so I wonder too why does she know you. But wait, are you sure she wasn’t just a ghost?” He asks and I roll my eyes.

“I don’t believe in ghosts and she seemed pretty real to me.”

“Or maybe she really was a ghost,” Jihoon suddenly says. “My friend has no idea what kind of girl you are talking about. He doesn’t know anyone who goes there. Especially not a girl...” announces Jihoon. My head is slowly starting to ache.

“But I’m pretty sure she was real...”

“Oh did Wonwoo get an imaginary girlfriend?” Soonyoung, with a towel wrapped around him, appears in the kitchen. Of course, he cannot miss the chance to tease me.

“She is not my girlfriend and she is not imaginary!” I shout which makes him take a few steps back.

“Okay, calm down Romeo. But I think it’s quite funny how no one knows about her.”

“Wait and see... day after tomorrow I’m going to go back,” I declare even surprising myself but I try not to show it. “And you are coming with me!” I point at half-naked Soonyoung who looks at me with a puzzled expression.

“Listen Wonwoo, I’m not really into ghost hunting,” he says while holding his hands up in protest.

“She is real and I will prove it to all of you, but you are coming with me as another witness!” I say again and Soonyoung sighs. Mingyu and Jihoon in the background are just laughing at us.

“But wait, why the day after tomorrow?” Soonyoung asks suddenly. I calm myself down before I answer.

“She said she is there every other day. So she won’t be there tomorrow...” I explain and I can still see the doubt in his eyes. “Just wait and see, wait and see.”

Chapter 2.

#seventeen #seventeen fan fiction #seventeen au #seventeen scenario #wonwoo #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #soonyoung #jihoon #seokmin #mingyu #minghao #seungkwan #hansol #chan #monday to saturday #timi writes

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imabookmarkaddict · 4 years

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i stole this

Here’s the full horse au… for now.

It’s only like bullet points but… long and messy and uh…

Here we go, help me.

Jo13 rode Deli young rider cup, Markus tam boarded at Iz tam12-13 markus 15-16 devilmare.

Markus gone 17.5 til 18Iz finds him at richies, brings home treats depression, lets mark hang out in the stables. Helps out, jo asks him for help w his chores. Markus does more stable work for iz but get bullied for lack of exp, becomes friends w jo after declining flirting.

Jo gets offered by iz to restore old stable w house for his jumping career. Jo wants markus to come with as groom, iz wont let markus go cuz stable work and depression. Eventually jo convinces to get Markus to help w restoration, building etc and once there gets markus to want to stay. Jo promises to train several horses for iz to sell, gives delight to Markus as a gift. They have a small 3horse van w bed to live in until it’s liveable.They spend the first month doing almost all building themselves.Markus helps groundwork and warmup, jo does light to medium jumping for young horses. After stalking the farrier markus is invited to learn more about shoeing and keeping up hoof care to save money, helping the farrier out whenever he can in return.

Will meets them at a few competitions, is impressed w their discipline and markus riding style. Mostly because his own stable is every rider for themselves. Starts flirting w Markus but has to ask jo for advice, jo dislikes it but thinks they might get along so he reluctantly gives tips. Will starts showing up at shows w/o competing to help groom. Jo grudgingly accepts to give Markus chance to do the smaller starts, to finish iz contracts faster and start his flipping career. Markus is asked to do dressage starts to up their value faster.Will asks to apprentice for Markus, but is declined. Markus is jos trainer and thinks thats enough.

Once contract starts finalizing, jo wants to recruit apprentices and iz offers to give them promising horses to train for their career. All jumpers that train for jo. Markus does most groom related as well as stable chores and ground breaking youngsters. Probably two girls from iz and a guy they know from shows.

They assume Markus is just a groom and treat him as such, as long as theyre respectful about it he doesnt care. Will keeps flirting and asking to be Markus trainee, groom, stablehand anything to learn from him. Markus is flattered and smitten, and feeling lonely being the only dressage Main. Knows jo would never offer the apprentice spot to Will, but makes a deal w iz where Will gets a horse to train For Markus. Will happily accepts including all the stablework and being Markus groom, planning and driving him to shows. Jo holds clinics at local riding schools and eventually builds small huts temp stable for a riding camp. Starts his training career. Markus starts taking dressage seriously enjoying working with the horse more than just speeding through a course.Markus works in the early morning before everyone wakes up including running a mile at 4am, holds lesson for will at 6am, feeds and mucks out at 5am, rides his horses at 7am, warms up jos horses 9am to 12am, feeds horses til 13 then either works or sleeps. Everyone helps out with chores and tack except for markus stuff that Will takes care of.

They hold auditions for additional trainees at riding clubs, jo holds lessons and markus helps pick out potential candidates. One if two picked only lasts a month after treating markus as a personal groom, commentating on his lack of work ethic and laziness etc. Jo isnt very pleased after only finding out when Will tells him hes had enough of it. Jo promises Markus to stand behind him standing up for himself, though Markus doesnt want to hurt jos training reputation.They have a jumping team qualifying for nationals. Jo aims for the international jumping team. Markus has no aim but helps Will who gets major results in jumping . After a major team win they all go out for a party that iz holds for them in a club he owns. Once leaving Markus ends up getting hit by a car on the sidewalk leading to a long hospitalstay and wheelchair/cane for spine injuries.

Will takes over training markus horses while he recovers healing and depression at iz home. Once Markus gets back hes not allowed to ride or work and just train Will and Jo. Meanwhile they offer a new recruit a spot who is surprised at Markus lack of work as hes just free training Deli and doing light dressage never speaking of the crash, which no one dares bring up either.

Richie who has been seeing Markus a few times before the accident decides to sponsor their team/stable. Iz decides to give Markus more options w desk work as his assistant leading to markus doing consultant/corporate spy work. As he recovers enough to start riding Iz challenges him to get to the top of a discipline in a year and he’ll sponsor Will and Jo unconditionally. Markus finds cross country to be interesting and starts eventing. Eventually he manages to top eventing by simply entering every available event in the country w Will and Iz grooms that take his horses out for him.

Back at the stable Jo is topping the jumping w Will as a close second and the team is doing okay for amateurs. Team misunderstands markus being gone as laziness, uselessness. At the end of the season as hes returned they think hes being allowed to stay cuz hes jos friend. When one of the olympic comp shows up and starts to offer a spot on the team as a reserve everyone cheers for Jo but turns quiet when its for eventing. They finally realize Markus actually knows what hes doing and how hard he worked for the last years.

Will goes as Markus groom since Iz wont let Jo pause his career for just one reserve event. Markus has to cover for a rider and The eventing team places second. Markus and Will starts dating, markus consultant gig picks up, the press is picking up, reporter found out the promising dressage star was in the major accident. Jo gets a permanent spot on the inter team and eventually a OS spot. Markus starts schooling young horses for other people, tho people still dismiss him thinking “Jo & Markus training center” is just Jo since hes the public one.

Jo deals with the company and his jumping career while markus focuses on training and iz escapades including turning over a warehouse. Jo manages fine as his team helps and supports him but as Will focuses on his career Markus works day w horses and night for iz not sleeping until collapsing.Iz sends him off on rehab/vacation and have him hire/accept an assistant and some trainees before he is allowed to work. Grudgingly interviews a few, sticks w a math wiz w no prior horse experience but does excellent w management for both legal and illegal sides.Markus does some teaching but mostly just wanders around w a cane and is miserable. Iz builds him a small house on the property for privacy as well as two more stables, one for horses in training/riding camps and one for his projects that Markus is educating personally.

Jaime - inbetween car crash rehab and OS. Kay asks Iz for advice regarding a boy he’s met through work whos mute after a car accident and iz suggests a visit to see Markus who is sympathetic from his own experience and offers Jaime a place to stay. Jaime is mostly angsty grouchy teen but enjoys watching Markus do groundwork and starts helping out with simple things, carrying tack and lifting heavy stuff since Markus is limited. Eventually starts apprenticeship and learns how to ride and follows Markus softer approach. Learns a lot helping groom eventing horses, Iz offers him a groom spot at his stable to learn more faster when Markus focuses on jos OS. He excels and gets a collection of youngsters to care for from basics to breeders cups. Iz appreciates having a Markus around again and wants him to train more trainers for him, tho Markus doesnt really want to.

Markus wins an award at a gala based on his scores but they refuse to give it to him due to unsavory rumors ie “hoeing” “drugs” and it will jeopardize their reputation and representation rewarding someone like that. Iz tells them to stop being stupid but the room is quiet and markus leaves to avoid more embarrasment. Markus and Will start falling apart as Will thinks he’s cheating with the late nights and low sex drive. At a boring event some bigot friends of Will harasses markus in the bathroom, leaving him with concussion and a sprained arm. Some week later after tiring of the questioning from iz, jo and will, Markus snaps at them in the kitchen. They tell him to calm down and get over it. He gets pissed off and tells them he will not work with them anymore if they belive that. Again he’s told he’s overreacting. So he leaves. Tells them to fuck off and not follow him.

Markus stays with Richie while healing and follows up an old offer to work for Iz competitor/nemesis. He’s coaching a few of the jumpers and is approached by eventer Adam. They competed together at Markus OS and got along very well. Adam had gotten a few dressage lessions out of markus and a clinic with some of the other eventer OS people at Jos stable after the OS. While respectful of markus relationship Adam thought he’d made it clear he was interested but let it go. They still had contact, few lessons and autograph sessions over the years.

Now that Adam knows he left jos stable he warns him against the proposed contract, saying Markus will earn more after healing and a couple of solo wins. ‘Also how is Will?’

Markus follows his advice and gets some short training gigs before competing a few horses for a random stable. Iz tries to outoffer them but markus still goes with a smaller stable that Adam is one to represent.Adam and Markus end up flirting a lot until Adam goes down on one knee asking for a real date. Markus is very surprised and Adam is offended that his flirting skills are that bad.

Eventually markus moves in with Adam and starts competing in small scale. After Adam start talking about their future and marriage markus depression and anxiety spikes and Adam is distressed but finally understands it’s not just the competing but also their relationship. He convinces markus to voice his likes and dislikes and never pushes past what markus offers. Adam suggests markus might be asexual which markus hesitantly deals with but thinks will scare Adam away.

They meet a couples counselor who’s supportive and finds some key issues with markus fear of abandonment and his isolation with no family as well as losing jo as a close friend. Thinking he doesn’t have as much to offer Adam who is successful, rich and popular. 'my side of the aisle is empty’ etc.

After a year of a regular season Adam employs Daniel as a social media manager, as he got along with markus in the past. As Adam posts more online trying to gain public favor of his business and boyfriend he realizes what horrible rumors and hate is targeted towards markus. They still progress and in an insta story markus mentions a dream place to be the spanish riding school in austria. (Besides any place with Adam in it obviously.)

Adam takes the three of the to Vienna for 1-2 weeks to see the school, other touristy things but also as a social media event. They meet fans and get shown the city and invited to dinners. Adam does propose to a very surprised but sobbingly happy markus. It’s not posted until months later to give markus time to process.

A riding instructor invites herself to a meeting with markus, showing him how her dressage classes has been collecting funds and signatures for hiring him for a lesson. A very flattered Markus does miss helping jo out at riding clubs so he offers to host her classes with a clinic at Adams, if they’re keen? Maybe just keep the money for buses and useful things instead. If everything works out well he will also show up the next day holding some lessons.

Everyone’s genuinely happy to meet both markus and Adam(s horses), a tour, some food/ice cream, a q&a with photos and autographs. Markus agrees to photos with him only if they won’t put them on social media which they follow, mostly it’s just with Adam & Rocket.

They are approached by a social worker who wants their help with a troubled young teen, theo who was thrown out by his father after resisting being molested. Markus is very hesitant but they offer him housing if he helps feed the horses and finishes school.

Teddy being a moody teen still warms up to them and enjoys being helpful in the stable. He helps Daniel film some markus content and offers to help with a q&a.When he reaches a question involving gay slurs and disturbing imagery they have an argument where markus means Theo should never have to deal with it and berates Daniel for failing the filter. Markus is both upset at the hate specifically directed at him as well as failing to protect the teen and stay in a depressive state for a few days.

Adam finally snaps and hides all his accounts and cancels most training and other businessdeals.Media and people are questioning why a popular and frequent mefia poster disappear and some claim there’s illness or death.Jo convinces Will to reach out as they still care for markus and want to apologize. Adam tells them how it’s none of their business but explains a bit on how they never really supported markus when he lost chances to rumors or were literally beat up. Jo acknowledges and apologizes, offering to help in any way they can.

Markus is a bit upset that Adam is so angry on his behalf, risking his entire business and future but Adam means he’d be happier without the toxic riding organization that doesn’t do enough to stop it. In fact they fueled the problems when refusing the award because of rumors. As Adam is putting his stable up for sale evaluation he offers an interview with a small equestrian vlog studio where he says he’s tired of representing such a shitty organization and that he’ll boycott any future event including OS.

He also shows them both of his email and insta inboxes full of hatemail, scrolling randomly, bringing up some horrible examples and accusations like infidelity, pedophilia, bestiality, prostitution, drugs and more, directly addressed to or about markus only.The interviewer quietly apologizes for her first question being a “is this just another equestrian drama grab for attention."

Even as Adam only meant to make a quiet, safe and happy space for him and markus, many other riders follow suite after jo publicly boycotts OS as well. Iz and Richies companies supports the boycott as well as calling out the organization for failing to protect good values. Eventually leading to a restructuring and a formal public apology to markus and his award.

Markus is not happy being the center of attention but he realizes he’ll take the moment to encourage the young riders who came to him worried they could never compete because someone started a silly rumor about them. Media eventually stop focusing on them but keep spinning online bullying as well as how organizations can do better to protect underage riders.

Adam starts up again in small scale focusing more on competing and anti-bullying media. Markus ends up accepting more Iz projects. Jo and Will suggest doing this tvshow project they’ve been approached with. After they come to an agreement they set up ar Adams stable as there’s less trainees in the way. There’s some issues with filming rules but Daniel deals with it quickly and loudly, as he has to approve anything of Adam and Markus.('Are you just grooming for free for Adam to get laid by a popular rider’ is apparently not appropriate, who knew?)

After some stressful weeks and Spence showing up to possibly spread more rumors, though he insists Iz sent him over to support them. Adam tells everyone they’re about to just going to fuckoff for a while and snags markus out on a private picnic as he seemed worried beyond normal. Markus is reassured and when they get back Theo informs him of a very serious couple waiting for him by the gate.

They tell markus they’d prefer somewhere private and he takes them to the saddle room where he can lock the filming team out.The woman introduces herself as a representative of a different country’s OS and that they want to have him on their eventing team. Since he hasn’t competed for his country for the past years they hoped he’d be interested as their own selections dwindled from injurys, horse sales and so on. Markus is not really comprehending but offers to discuss it with Adam.

Obviously Adam is beyond happy to hear it, and suggest using Rocket or Flurry as he’s competing newer blood anyway. Goes all out cooking a big fancy dinner and everyone else is just confused. After dealing with legalities and passports markus is allowed to announce his new affiliation.

After some months he heads up to their country with Daniel, rocket and flurry to settle in at a teammates stable. Turns out most of the team is more than excited to welcome markus and they have a big party to celebrate. One of the injured riders bring up how markus helped him his last OS with a thrown shoe just minutes before their start even though they were enemies! And how markus had always been an honorary member in their eyes, saving them from a quick DQ.

#horse au

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weplaywax · 7 years

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Guido van Dieren (Thelonious) - We Play Wax Interview

Guido van Dieren (Thelonious) - We Play Wax Interview: DJ alias: Thelonious | Co-founder: 360 Degrees and All Eyes On | Promoter at: Bird, North Sea Jazz Club, Motel Mozaique, A Festival Downtown Words and photos by Ovidiu Stanciu a.k.a. tWitch Guido is a music DJ, a selfless promoter and an engineer who works with intuition. By most books he probably shouldn’t exist. And yet, he is one of the most important figures in Rotterdam’s music scene. Someone you can meet, talk to and get inspired by. Because wherever he stands in the booking game, Guido bets on people and strong relationships. His dream party is a multicultural sweatbox where music is the goal, the glue and the reason. If you go to one of his parties, you will understand what he means by “real music – real people” and either he’s on the decks or in the crowd, Guido will greet you with a big smile and good music. So when your dancing shoes wear off again, he most probably has something to do with it. Guido doesn’t chase a goal; he follows a path which he builds with much patience and natural determination. It is a path which leads itself because it is built together with people who share the same unconditional love for music. For him, all people are the same and he is the same with all the other people. Fame, hype and money are just obstacles in the way of the next big thing. That’s why he is part of today as much as he is part of tomorrow. --- Do you think your record collection determines the selection of artists you choose to promote? Yeah, it shows my view of music. There is a lot of hip-hop in my record shelves and it’s certainly influencing the choices. Many of the artists I book are really soulful American and British DJs with a background in soul, funk, disco, hip-hop, house, broken beats and because of that, our parties sound a little different perhaps. Did your music journey begin with hip-hop or did it start somewhere else? I guess it started with pop music when I was 8 years old. I was buying the Top 40 records. To hip-hop I got in early 90s when it was slowly heading towards what many people [now] call “the golden era of hip-hop”. What is “the golden era of hip-hop”? It’s the period hip-hop became more adult and the productions became more complex and better worked out. Most people say it was around ’94. And I personally feel more the jazzy and soulful 90s than the raw 80s. Would you like to share some of the names that inspired you? There was a guy named Guru who brought out Jazzmatazz – it’s a fusion of hip-hop and live jazz. The group had renowned jazz musicians like Donald Byrd and Roy Ayers. Around the same time Jamiroquai came up on Acid Jazz, a label co-founded by Gilles Peterson. Aside from managing the label and doing pirate shows, Peterson was also organizing a party series (That’s How It Is) with a very eclectic music selection. It eventually became an inspiration for my own events. Later on, as I discovered Masters at Work (MAW), I went from jazz to house. Nuyorican Soul is one the most important albums for my discovery of house music. They work together with George Benson, Tito Puente, Jazzy Jeff and many other great musicians. So it’s like an All Star album. MAW also helped me discover Afrobeat when they brought out the 12” – A tribute to Fella. From there on I started to move more towards electronic music. So you didn’t get stuck on hip-hop… No, I never believed in the “keep it real” movement which said you should only listen to hip-hop because it’s the only good music. Same goes for those who are only into house for example. I never believed it because, in my opinion, every style is born from different pre-existing ones; therefore, all music is connected. And in the end, good music is good music. As you have a broad musical taste, do you also have a particular way of searching for records? A lot of the records that I get just pass me by. I’m not really the kind of digger who has a list of records he is looking for. For me, it has to come organically. Probably that is why my music taste changes in time. Nowadays I don’t buy music specifically for DJ-ing anymore; I just buy music which I like. Sometimes I can play it on the dance floor, sometimes I can not. I think I always did that. If you buy a lot of music there is always enough of it to DJ from. How did you get interested in DJ-ing in the first place? Dance moves and Yo! MTV Raps at first. Later I began making music tapes for friends. I was always picky with the track order; I would make a tape, then listen to it and think: “Hmmm... the fifth song should’ve been third”. So I would start the tape again, sometimes even four, five times. At that point I realized that I liked the selecting part of music. And then I just started with DJ-ing. There was nobody doing it in my environment to be honest. So I learnt it by myself. One or two years after I have bought my own turntables, I thought about playing in a club. But it was too difficult - of course - because I was just a beginner. So I went to Bijenkorf where there was a clothing shop called The Chill Out and they had DJs playing inside. The fun thing was that people really liked my music. It was not about mixing – I’m not even sure if I was good at that – but they liked the selection. Even there, I was trying to build a vibe thinking what I would like to hear if I was shopping in that place. “I like to be a music DJ. I like to be in the part of the chain where new things happen.” Next step was playing in Nighttown, which was one of the most important clubs in Rotterdam at that time. I asked if I could play there and they offered me to play in the restaurant part. A lot of young DJs started there. I think it’s very important for every city to have such a place. From that moment on, as I moved further into the scene, I got to meet a lot of people. But I still played mostly in the second room or in the warmup. People always saw me there and they thought I only had that kind of music. Which was not true but once you have a stamp on you it’s hard to get rid of it. So you got labelled in the process. What sort of “stamps” did you carry? I’ve been labelled a few things in my life. Back in the day people saw me as a hip-hop DJ; at some point people saw me as a lounge DJ and now they see me as the guy who does the Theo Parrish house-disco kind of stuff. I also have a totally different side but people label you. And I must admit I am also doing this to myself because of the artists I book and the style of my events – I get the stamp of my party [on myself]. How would you label yourself nowadays? I like to be a music DJ. I like to be in the part of the chain where new things happen. It’s a difficult part to earn money from, but sometimes it’s the part that lasts longer because you keep yourself up to date. When a sound is over, you are still there. That’s the good thing about being interested in a large variety of music. You can always find your way with what you have and what you like. But even this has become kind of a format. Nowadays many DJs play disco, with a bit of tropical and a bit of house. Everybody is doing it so it’s becoming a format. Probably there’s going to be a tipping point when something else turns out to be “the new thing”. And that’s what interests me. I really like independent people because their sound comes from themselves. Maybe that’s why I really like Theo [Parrish]. He’s an easy guy. He plays, for instance, hip-hop in his house sets. And I rarely see anyone doing that. While everyone is playing disco and afro he would play something totally different and that’s what makes his style unique. It’s hard, only a few can do that. But the more music variety you go through, the more likely it is to develop your own style, because you pick up something from every single experience. When did you start organising your own parties? Quite late, I was already 30 and most of the people in my group had already stopped going out. The reason I started the parties was quite simple: I couldn’t find gigs where I could play what I liked; I wanted to DJ and have some artistic freedom as well. I wanted to play but I didn’t want to do all the networking. I didn’t like that. I never did. Who were the first artists you booked? Before I booked the first international artists I had already organised two parties where I played together with a few local DJs. We had about 20 people attending so I thought: “Hmmm... This is not the way”. I eventually started a party series called Strange Fruit and soon booked my first international artist – Benji B. At that time he was somebody I really looked up to – he was one of my heroes. There was some money aside and I thought: „Let’s do this once and if it’s successful it can be the path”. I remember, I was sitting in a restaurant – which was a club every Friday and Saturday – with the organizer and some people from the scene and I told them what I wanted to do. They said “No, Rotterdam is too difficult” but I thought: “Well, if I lose 2000 euro, I lose 2000 euro and that’s that”. The first time it was quite ok, we had 300 people attending. I am not sure how it went financially but we certainly didn’t lose a lot of money. We also didn’t make a lot of money, but that was less important. We really enjoyed the parties so we eventually booked Benji B ten more times. You often speak of we instead of me. Was there a partner in those early years as promoter and organiser? I did the first Strange Fruit party by myself and afterwards I started working with Lucky Dubs. We had similar taste in music, plus he was an amazing graphic designer and I thought it would be a good idea to work together. So we became a team. He made the design for all the flyers and I took the role of the promoter. We both played and we both invested in those parties. We did that for five or six years. Not everybody who came to our parties knew the artists, because some of them were really unknown back then – some became famous later, like Flying Lotus – but the events were successful because us, as a team, worked well. However, at some point, our partnership didn’t work out anymore; there was a lot of tension between us. When it didn’t feel workable anymore we both quit the party and had a break for a few years. Now we see each other more and more. In a different way, a better way I would say. I am glad the friendship is still there. What made the partnership break? We had hard times; there were parties with 4-500 people but also parties with 10 people. We did too much and sometimes the artists were so unknown and so “far forward” for Rotterdam that people didn’t understand us. So financially it became unfeasible and raised the tension between me and my partner. On top of that I wanted to go further in music, while Lucky wanted to focus on his family and his job as a designer. But I am really looking back with a proud feeling now. We did amazing stuff together, as music lovers with a mission. We decided to part ways and discontinue the Strange Fruit parties. That name was about us working together so once we split there was no point in continuing with it. I decided to go on with my own event, All Eyes On and soon afterwards I started another one called 360 Degrees. The first one is focused on beats, hip-hop, soul and funk, with artists such as Lefto, Mr. Scruff, and Jay Rock. The second is more on the house side – Floating Points, Theo Parrish – with all sorts of influences: Disco, Latino, Afro. “If you have a good booker, you should keep him!” When booking, do you get in touch directly with the artist or with the booking agency? Most of the time is via a booking agency. If there is a sort of management, I prefer going through them. They are there for a reason. A lot of people think they’re there just to earn money, but it’s really not the case. Many times, when lacking good management things don’t go very well: their promo is not good enough, the flights get messed up and what not. The booker has to get good and fitting gigs for the artist. He has to make sure everything is paid and arranged on time. It makes things easier for me as a promoter. At the same time, if the booker is also the artist’s manager, they build together a plan for his career, figuring out important steps that need to be taken. And of course they earn some money for that, but there are a lot of things to do. If you have a good booker, you should keep him. What is the most rewarding thing in your experience as a promoter? It’s always rewarding if we have a good show. Even without a full house, if the music is very good then I am happy. For many promoters having a full house is the most important aspect, but for me music comes first. If I lose money on a musically good night, I’m OK with it. I would have to work a little harder, do a few extra DJ gigs myself to cover it but I wouldn’t regret it. “As a promoter, your life is not only about booking the bands you like. You need to develop a strategy and that requires good planning, sometimes years in advance. You have to get in touch with artists early on and start building a relationship.” As a promoter you are involved with both live bands and DJs. Do you approach them differently? For live events, because it’s my job, I book the artists mainly for the music quality, even though it may not always fit my taste. As for the parties, since they’re my events and investment, the choice of artists becomes a bit more personal. When booking live bands (especially) you need some tactics, and that’s the game I like. At the beginning some bookers don’t want their artists in your venue because you don’t have a name yet and they don’t know what to expect from you. So you have to work it out together. Sometimes you book an artist that you know is not going to bring a full house but it’s a good thing to do for building your first relationship with the booker. You know there’s going to be 50 or 100 people there and you are going to lose money on it, but it’s a first step to start a relationship. As a promoter, your life is not only about booking the bands you like. You need to develop a strategy and that requires good planning, sometimes years in advance. You have to get in touch with artists early on and start building a relationship with them, like we did with Floating Points – maybe that’s the reason why we could book him again later on, when he became a big name. Many times you start that relationship with an early gig which may cost only 150 euro, but there’s an investment into the future. “We never really think about what other people are doing or whether there’s a market for it; we just do what we do.” Talking about the future, what are your plans for it? After the month of April we are going to take a break for a short period. We want to go further but we're looking into new ways to continue and that will require some planning and preparations. Sometimes it's important to pause and evaluate your experience so you can find the smart and sustainable ways to head into the future. At some point you owe it to yourself as well as to your crowd and partners. But thinking further, I would like to make a 360 Degrees Festival on my own, something totally independent, next to DJ-ing. But I am not really a fan of big festivals. I would love to have a smaller one that goes deeper into the culture, with a bit of live music, movies, Q&A. However, I believe that eventually festivals won’t sell out anymore because there are too many of them. There’s a point when it’s too much and we are getting close to it. Personally, I always preferred the club atmosphere. Maybe because there’s less distraction than at a festival; it’s just you, the crowd and the DJ going through the night, so you are much more immersed in music and dancing. I’d rather have a monthly night where the club is full, even if it takes a lot of effort to make it happen. And in the end, I think a DJ fits better in a club and live music in a festival. And in the end, I think a DJ fits better in a club while live music fits better in a festival. Does a club night pay off financially? You can earn money with a club night but best is to do a party with local DJs. The fees are lower and with a full house you can make good money. If you get Theo Parrish for example and your event isn’t sold out, you don’t make anything. So it depends on what you want. You can earn money in club life but it’s hard. I find it especially hard in Rotterdam because the scene that I am working in is quite small. I am sure the big names you bring here can inspire, as well as educate the public. It’s always good to hear that people are influenced by your work; it’s a compliment. It makes me happy when people have a good time. We hope to do it with all our parties. It’s probably the nicest thing about what we do. We don’t really earn money but somehow we are influencing the scene. Not with a purpose though; it’s just something that happens because we are doing what we like. We never really think about what other people are doing or whether there is a market for it; we just do what we do. Do you think your actions are shaping the sound of Rotterdam? I believe our sound has become more popular in the past years. It is difficult to see exactly what role we play in Rotterdam. Shaping the sound of a city is of course something too big for a fast change so, although we are bigger now, we are still a niche. But I like this city because the public we have is really dedicated. We are not necessarily the hip party everybody is talking about but we are a good party and it attracts a particular public, the music lovers. What do you think the music environment lacks in this city? What do you believe is lacking in Rotterdam’s music scene today? I think Rotterdam is missing a good pop venue. There is no Paradiso or Tivoli in Rotterdam. So if you want to go to a concert, you often have to go to a different city. There are concerts in Rotterdam as well, but perhaps only 30 in a year. So there’s no venue for that yet, but I believe it’s slowly coming back; it’s not something you build in [just] one year. It would also be good to have more non-establishment places, clubs that are a bit more punk and a bit raw, where people start up, grow and eventually get to a bigger venue. There is a chain and it needs all the links. As for the bigger, established places I think they are enough at the moment, they just need to stabilize. Since you are booking big names and you are DJ-ing together, you get to meet the person behind the name as well. What’s your experience with that? What kind of people do you meet behind Theo Parrish, Sadar Bahar, Hunee, Black Madonna, and the rest? The thing is I always approach the artists like I approach my friends. If you do that, you easily get close to them and see who they are. And in the end they are just people like you and I, with their own ideas and beliefs – some of them with very strong opinions – trying to make a living off what they do. You have to keep in mind that DJ-ing is not an easy job; it’s a struggle. It’s quite heavy on your mind and body, especially with travelling. But we always try to offer them a home, and because they feel it, we easily get to know the person behind the name. Do you also bounce into strong egos? Not really. Maybe also because we don’t have strong egos ourselves, so I guess you get back what you give. Most people are just nice people in the end, some of them earning a lot of money, some not; some are here just for a few years and some of them make a lifetime career out of it. “Opening is not for beginners. But people think you’re not a good DJ if you’re an opener. A good DJ feels what is needed in that moment and that’s maybe the art of opening or perhaps the art of DJ-ing itself.” You are most of the time opening for the artists you book. How do you prepare your music for the evening? I don’t really have a plan. I adapt to the head-liner but if I book a disco DJ, for example, it doesn’t mean I have to open with disco only. I like to keep my set broad so the DJ playing after me knows that everything is possible and doesn’t feel limited. That’s the importance of the opener. To a certain extent, as an opening DJ, you give the direction of the night. It might seem that the role of the opener is more for beginners but in fact, it carries a big responsbility. Yes, you are a team together with the headliner. Sure, the main act gets paid more, but in the end every headliner is happy to have a good opener. For me, it’s a compliment if the next DJ picks up from where I left and builds his own vibe upon that. Opening is not for beginners. But people think you’re not a good DJ if you’re an opener. They think you have to start low, then do opening sets and then become a headliner. But that’s one opinion, and I don’t think it’s the correct way to see things. A good DJ feels what is needed in that moment and that’s maybe the art of opening or perhaps the art of DJ-ing itself. “I like small steps and it’s also the way I got into this business - just by keeping the quality high, not by pushing people or kissing ass. It’s a long term approach.” Like most businesses, there must be an unpleasant side to promoting as well. Would you like to share a thought on that? I don’t like to speak about bad deals, about the negative side. There is always one but that’s not what concerns me. I like to put things together, have a plan and work towards a goal even if it’s four years away. In fact 360 Degrees works like that. Our main goal now is to break even and not lose momentum. We are working towards that by being consistent and we hope that more people will discover the party. The way we are doing it takes a lot of time; it can be done faster but it requires a different approach. I like small steps and it’s also the way I got into this business - just by keeping the quality high, not by pushing people or kissing ass. It’s a long term approach. It seems there is no end to it. Will you ever quit? Yes, of course. It will probably come a time when I do less DJ-ing or booking and I will have a different position, more of a director. I can also imagine that at some age that’s the most fun part to do. Perhaps when I am 60 I won’t have the same relationship with the crowd anymore, so things can change. But you never know. I like to leave a lot of things to the feeling. As for now, I am trying to organise things in a way that I get a bit more time for DJ-ing again, while still keeping the jobs that I have and which consume so much of my time. That’s why I am looking to find some people to work together with. But that of course depends on money as well. If I really want to work with someone, I want to be able to pay for it; free work doesn’t bring people further in their development. And I like to grow young people, teach them the tools of the trade and even if they go somewhere else after a few years, I’d rather know I brought them a little bit further than they where they were the beginning. http://dlvr.it/N5H3Kk

#Interviews #Music

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