#I downloaded that font years ago and like never use it but it feels like it suits him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tundrainafrica · 3 years

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Title: Lovebug (14/14)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Notes: I know I usually post on Wednesdays but I'll be on the road on Wednesday and if I don't get this out soon, I'll probably end up dropping it next week or smthg so here it is. Two days early. I hope you enjoy :D

Is this all that there is to life? A glaring question that came unexpectedly, in between reading through codes for his nth freelance project the past few years.

In response, Levi closed his eyes, sat back and reflected. A part of him may have been asking that question for a while and slowly, Levi started to understand why he was asked that in the first place.

A few minutes ago, he had been strangely happy to see his code compiling at the first try. And just a few hours ago, he had been enthusiastic at running a debugger through a code and finding a few typos to fix.

Happiness. That was happiness right?

That part of him continued to nag. It soured that 'happiness,' leaving a burning dissatisfaction inside him. You’ve experienced better moments, happier moments.

Then Levi got fed up. He reached into the back of his mind, he remembered, then something stopped him from reminiscing for a while longer.

Something strange. Something buried.

He hadn’t allowed himself to feel much since he first moved into that new city. He had allowed the novelty and the business to carry him through his first months. But the novelty of a new beginning never lasted long.

Too shaken to even bother applying for a new job, Levi opted to work freelance. Consequently, his only companions were the four walls of his studio apartment and the occasional voices from next door.

There was only so much which could stimulate interest. His mind continued to search for them and naturally, time continued to move along with it. Routine and episodes of ennui seemed to last infinities in the moment. But in retrospect, it felt like they all happened too fast.

He had made sense of time in milestones, milestones worth ten times the refreshing feeling of running a debugger through code or the fleeting euphoria of compiling codes at the first try.

Is that all that there is to life? Eventually, he made sense of that strange voice. There was reason to that question.

That day was another milestone. If it wasn't for his nagging mind, he could have missed it.

It was a blustery autumn day in late October, the weather similar to the last view he had of his home five years ago. Shifting his gaze from the window of his present apartment, he took a quick look at the calendar and it was like a dam had ended up spilling open inside him.

The five year mark was a bittersweet milestone, five years since he left home. The fifth year rang more loudly than every year before that. Maybe because five was such a perfect number, or perhaps because he had been keeping something in for a while.

He felt a release. Then a reprieve from the monotony, a reprieve from the five years avoiding his old life. Levi found himself opening his browser tab, typing the words ‘love alarm’ on the search box and deleting it a second later.

An aimless and useless sequence of movements. He didn’t need a quick google search to know how it was doing.

The love alarm had become a household name even all the way in his side of the world. With his very human need to go out, whether it be for groceries, shopping or just some fresh air, Levi couldn’t completely ignore it. With the right decisions, Levi could choose not to give so much as a side glance at the people walking, heads bent down, staring at the number of hearts on their application.

When he went out though, even with his music at full blast, he would hear the familiar alarm as he walked through crowds.

At first, it had left a pang in his chest, a brief bout of nausea, perhaps disgust or embarrassment at his old life.

It had been five years since he first arrived though and it turned out, time did heal.

Levi looked through the wikipedia page of the love alarm and he found, it hurt more like a raw scar than a stab in his chest or a crushing weight. The nausea, the pang in his chest that plagued him years before were weak if almost nonexistent.

Curiosity took over.

Would would have felt like an ache in the chest years ago, felt more like a mosquito bite. Levi was just slightly annoyed. It did nothing to stop him though from registering again and looking through the application interface.

Nothing much had changed. There were some slight changes to the skin of the registration page, a change in the name of the company at the bottom. Levi purposely touched the activate button rapidly and found he had crashed the application.

That was one bug that he never got to fix. He turned his phone to the side, noting the way the screen glitched as it adjusted to the landscape orientation of the phone. Another bug Levi never got to fix.

Then he wondered who the developer on the other end had been to have never even caught it.

Biometrics registered, Levi activated the alarm to find no hearts. He couldn’t help but entertain that slight disappointment. Of course no hearts would have appeared though. He hadn’t even interacted with his neighbors.

It would have been creepy it rang. Letting out a sardonic laugh just loud enough for himself, he leaned back on the chair and stared at the ceiling, forcing his thoughts back to whatever coding freelance project he’d been dealing with a few minutes ago.

Work came in freelance projects. They were enough for rent, for savings and some capacity to eat out occasionally.

A simple yet comfortable life. But is that all that there is to life? That voice continued to tear into his work related thoughts. Levi gave in to the nagging thought again. He started scrolling through wikipedia articles detailing use, detailing acquisition history, he found another key word under related articles, more interesting than ‘love alarm.’

Mood Alarm.

It sent a strange shiver through the back of his neck. Levi rolled his shoulders, relieving the tension that came with the last few eons of reflection. He let out a whistle, opened the new article and scrolled down towards references.

There were lists of articles.

Partner of Zeke Jaeger and freshly minted PhD graduate Doctor Hange Zoe release Mood Alarm.

Doctor Hange Zoe. Something inside him was fighting for control. He couldn’t bring himself to click the link. At the same time though, there was this curiosity inside him that he couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of.

Under the link to the article was the official website.

At the front page, there was a boring and overly professional introduction Levi didn’t bother to read

Below them, everything else had been interesting enough to give more than a second long glance.

The list of functionalities. The color codes. Then newly launched dashboard functionalities, almost a carbon copy of the plan Levi had sent years back.

“Fucking hell, you actually did it,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t help but just allow the smile that tugged at his lips some control. Excitement had him searching for the application on the play store, downloading it and methodically going through the same registration process as the love alarm.

It didn’t look much like the mood alarm Levi had worked on years ago. He saw hints of it though and worked from there to admire it.

The front end had been cleaned up. The font chosen fit the silver-to-white gradient of the application. When Levi clicked ‘activate,’ the screen loaded.

The colors mixed against one another for a second, an aesthetic choice of animation that Levi couldn’t help but be amused with.

Red. Yellow. Blue. Purple. Green. Orange.

The colors continued to mix. Then some disappeared as if they had lost themselves in some colorful war.

Then it was only blue and yellow. The two colors danced against one another for a few seconds longer before they disappeared too. More specifically, they bundled against one another.

Green. It took him at least five seconds to get that reading.

He didn’t have to look at the guide on the website to know what it meant.

Sad happy? Or happy sad? Whatever that feeling was, Levi felt no need to introspect, or maybe he had been too lazy to.

It had been a while since he had even let himself feel something. The green on his screen, the feeling that accompanied it, seemed more like an old friend he hadn’t talked to a while.

If he had any ability at introspection, maybe it had already rusted. Still, he let those emotions inside him, that yellow and that blue do their work.

They had him turning off the mood alarm, then turning off the love alarm. Something inside him still hesitated to delete the applications. Then it had him considering the space on his phone for just a second.

He downloaded another app that night. A familiar app with a flame, then another one with a bee. Only months into his new life in a new city with a new job, Levi was already bored— and if he had to admit it—terribly, terribly lonely.

And maybe the best way to cure it was to spend the whole night swiping.

***

Finding a companion wasn’t as easy as desperation and a few second long rush of confidence made it out to be.

Perhaps, online dating was a rash idea, an uncharacteristic move.

Didn't he reject Petra years ago? How could he date anyone else? Petra… How is she… With nothing much to do but wait for his date, he found himself texting Petra as he waited in the cafe.

He sent a few thank you messages at her well wishes. They exchanged brief updates and Petra’s own updates dragged on for longer.

Her life was more eventful than his.

Petra had started dating Oluo. She had found someone who loved her, just as much as she loved him. Keeping a correspondence with her only highlighted points for reflection for Levi. The more he reflected, the more questions came up. The more he reflected, the more complicated the questions became.

He was lonely but could he be picky? At the same time, did he even have the heart to put anyone through the shitty experience of a half hearted courtship?

Hange’s words echoed in his head, not in any specific string, a few parts in words, a few parts in phrases.

Considering the circumstances… Love is a choice.

When he let her words echo through him, he managed to grip a presence long gone. A presence and a relationship, he clarified, that had never been his in the first place.

He never did completely brush away the guilt that accompanied every passing thought of Hange. There was this strange acceptance though that appended it, and it had him a little more discerning, a little more prudent.

If he couldn’t have her, he could always just keep her close in his own personal way.

“Have you heard of the love alarm?”

How long had she been there? How long had she been talking?

Right, Levi was on a date. She had said words before that question and Levi could have sworn they had exchanged greetings even before that.

“In passing,” Levi said. He manifested some reality from the words, as if a firm response was enough to forget decades worth of overtime and testing.

“It’s this application we can use to test compatibility… So at least we know if this could work.”

Levi listened with some fake intent as she explained how the love alarm worked. He made sure to nod at points where her tone had gone a little higher or louder.

“What do you think?” There was some finality to her voice, an expectant look on her face.

Levi hummed in thought.. “I don’t believe in using an app to check compatibility. What about when we consider circumstances? Get to know each other… Then decide if it could work?”

She looked at her phone for a second, then back at Levi, her brows furrowed in confusion.

Levi shook his head. “Sorry, I just don’t believe in things like the love alarm, it seems just like horoscopes or Myer Briggs to me. Compatibility, relationships, they’re just gonna be choices we make anyway.” He found himself guiltily looking away as he said those last points.

The pout that played at his date’s lips was evidence enough, there probably wouldn’t be a second date. “It’s not like our love alarm’s would have rung anyway,” she said.

It had been a while since Levi dated though and he started to realize, maybe his filter and his social skills had rusted just a bit.

***

Love is a choice.

It looked like he might have been the only one to believe that. He had managed to piss off countless other dates with his own ‘love is a choice’ schtick.

And he had been dating semi regularly for the past year already. Yet, nothing was coming up fruitful.

How the hell did Hange even manage to get married? Or maybe Hange had just been the exception. He then concluded, Hange just had too many other loveable qualities which could make anyone want to snap her up early on.

The more he entertained the thought of Hange, the heavier his own chest became. Then he stopped entertaining her then the cycle would start again, a very vicious cycle.

It just so happened that sometimes the thought of ‘Hange’ manifested as some domineering thought. ‘Love is a choice’ and the strange sensation that came with his whole body protesting, rebelling in their own little way worked hand in hand.

He was confused and consequently desperate enough to open the mood alarm for some inkling of comprehension. He would focus on the way the colors switched among one another, disappearing, always revealing a yellow and a light blue dancing between one another then always ending with a light blue.

Sometimes he was blue. Sometimes he was green.

Ane he continued to check. After all, he mood alarm had become a beautiful and constant companion. He had deleted the love alarm but kept the mood alarm close.

“What do you think of the love alarm?”

How many people are gonna ask about that fucking application?

Zeke had just been a little too good at marketing. It was the nth time someone had broken the ice of a first date with that fucking question and Levi regretted not making a drinking game out of it. Maybe he would have been able to drink enough to forget that cursed product.

“Are you okay?” his new date asked.

He had spent the past few minutes too silent, not thinking. “Nifa…” That was her name right? He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

She looked as nervous as he did, or even more nervous. That part was comforting at least. In a way, her demeanor seemed a little more pleasant, more genuinely curious than wary. “I asked just a second ago, have you ever used that love alarm?” she said in response.

Levi followed the same script. "In passing."

“Would you like to try it out? Just to make sure we’re on the same page, relationship wise.”

“I’d rather we relied on circumstances and compatibility to make the choice for us. Get to know each other maybe…” When it came to suggestions, Levi had revised his script just a bit. Too many people got offended by his invalidating horoscopes and Myer Briggs type for some weird reason. “Like get to know each other, like…” Levi trailed off for a second, allowing himself a pregnant pause. ”... Elizabeth and Darcy?”

Nifa had cocked her head to the side curiously, thought for a long second and smiled just a bit wider. “You read Pride and Prejudice?”

Levi nodded subtly. “A while back,.”

She paused for a second, seeming deep in thought. “Well… Now that I think about it, you might be right,” Nifa said. “This compatibility thing… Your idea of love. I think it makes sense.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, why?” Nifa asked.

Levi dropped his shoulders in relief, the weight of at least a hundred failed dates fell off his shoulders. “I’ve been dating for years and I feel like you’re the only one who actually said that.”

Nifa didn’t reply immediately and the longer Levi sat there, the more clearly he saw her face. Surprise morphed into something that seemed more like pity. Then, the chronic pang in his chest came back.

A first love did that to people maybe? A painful first love lost had that special power to maybe just twist his own philosophies, to make him almost disgusted at his own creations and the way it had challenged his own convictions.

Are you scared? Levi thought to himself. He couldn’t be too sure how he was handling himself in front of Nifa. He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them a few times and if he looked closely, he could almost feel those uncomfortable twinges in his wrist that came from years of coding.

“I’m willing to put the time into it if you are.” Nifa’s voice was more gentle and it flowed as if she had sensed the stiffness in his voice.

Levi didn’t respond immediately and suddenly their little corner of the crowded cafe was eerily silent. There was a melancholy that had blanketed their little corner despite the Saturday afternoon crowd.

Nifa seemed like she was trying to break away from it with some light conversation. “Hey, have you heard of the mood alarm?”

“The mood alarm?” Levi let that half smile creep up his lips, just high enough to be more invisible than obvious. Three words from a stranger and his emotions were reduced to a mess.

He once again felt that twinge again at his rests and that sleepless night, and her. He was remembering her in his office through sleepy exhausted eyes, with a cocktail dress and a sandwich bag in one hand.

There was also something amusing and painfully ironic about hearing his own brainchild, from someone so casually, as if it had turned into some household name while he wasn’t looking.

The conversation was getting painful, painfully interesting and the masochist in Levi was gripping him and pulling him back to reality. “Like the love alarm…” Levi added.

“Well, they’re products from the Jaeger corporation… You know the Jaeger family right?” Nifa added.

Levi could only be thankful he hadn’t been sipping at his tea then. He probably could have choked. How could he ever forget Zeke Jaeger?

He might have gotten a lot better at hiding his own disgust or Nifa could have been too deep in thought. She continued to talk. “They bought Love Alarm a few years back.”

“I know the Jaeger family,” Levi said.

“So you know about their eldest son, the heir of the Jaeger corporation… And his partner?”

Levi took a sip of tea, not bothering to respond.

Nifa may have taken that as a ‘no.’“His partner was working towards a PhD in psychology and apparently that was her final project. The codes for the mood alarm are very similar to the love alarm apparently."

“Oh?” Levi asked, feigning interest.

Soon, it turned into something genuine. Nifa was offering new information. “She got the PhD a few years ago and soon after that, the application was launched. And now they’re launching a solution for hospitals.”

“What kind of solution?” Levi asked.

“Wait, have you ever used the mood alarm? Or do you know how it works?” Nifa asked. “Anyway, I realized I ended up digressing here… The point I was trying to make is, the one who developed the mood alarm was able to prove that whatever measurements they use for the love alarm, are related to emotions. And what if, understanding how we feel when we work towards a relationship is a better determinant of whether the relationship could work?”

Levi nodded quickly, an attempt to be polite. At that point though, he wasn’t too interested in the point she had been trying to make “I’m familiar with the application and how it works. But you mentioned something about a solution for hospitals…” He didn’t think it was worth lying. He didn’t need a long winded explanation of the alarm he made. He needed an explanation of what Hange had been making."

Nifa didn’t seem to get the message. “So, the application will determine your emotions for you--- I have one right now and we could use it over time to articulate how we feel.” She pulled out her phone and dropped it on the table. “I think analyzing our own emotions would do a better job than relying on how the love alarm processes the emotions.”

There was something surreal about seeing a user explain it to him, as if they knew it more than him.

For a while, he couldn’t help but just entertain the possibility that in her own way, Nifa may have known more. With someone explaining and demonstrating, he was more easily able to make sense of the changes that had been implemented since Hange acquired it.

The app icon was reminiscent of the love alarm, two rings around it but instead of a heart in between, there was an icon, an elegant cross between a flower and a color wheel.

Red. Blue. Yellow. In between the primary colors were purple, green and orange.

Nifa activated it and held the phone between her fingertips. Just like the night when Levi had first played with it, the colored blobs swam amongst one another again, each blob would disappear one by one, leaving the remaining colors.

Yellow and Orange. “Looks like I’m happy,” Nifa commented. “So apparently the new dashboard allows us to connect this reading on the phone to a PC and get a more detailed explanation, numbers, heart rate, all the like.”

“You seem to know a lot about the app,” Levi mused.

Nifa cocked her head to one side. “Well, I’m into psychology too. I work as a psychologist in one of the hospitals. Our hospital is one of the first ones to buy software licenses so I’ve done my research.” She hummed, looking straight at him for a second as if studying him. “Now that I think about it, your job wasn’t on your profile. What do you do for a living?”

Levi’s response was automatic. “IT work.” He was suddenly self conscious about even mentioning the word ‘developer.’

“Ooooh... So you’d probably figure out how this app works much faster than I would.” Nifa sighed. “And you could probably help reassure me about this."

“Reassure you about what?”

“I’m honestly pretty nervous about rolling out this software.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s relatively new, a few bugs would come up here and there.”

“All softwares are going to face new bugs with every update. It’s never ending,” Levi said nonchalantly.

“Spoken like a true IT guy,” Nifa joked. She took a sip of her shake and stared down at his tea and up at him again. “Say, since you’re in IT, you think you can hook us up with someone?”

“Hook you up with someone?” Levi asked. His mind was going places more suited for a tinder date than a conversation on career. He raised one eyebrow in question. He couldn’t be too sure of what she meant just yet.

It looked like she had started to understand that double entendre. Nifa blushed then let out a cough. “No, no. Our company is looking to build a small support team.”

“An IT support team?” Levi asked.

“Well, people who could focus on learning the product, dealing with whatever bugs, testing them, compiling them and sending them over to the Mood Alarm team. You think you’d know anyone tech savvy? Maybe familiar with how biotechnology works?

“I could try to look around…” Levi said.

“Great!” Nifa chimed

By some magic, the conversation shifted elsewhere. Nifa had a way with conversation, keeping some sort of a flow, talking about her own job and getting him to talk about his freelance projects.

Levi’s thoughts on the hospital solution though were an ubiquitous part of his mind space.That was the whole point of the investment right? Back then, Zeke and Hange had plans on selling it to hospitals.

And there was a free trial. That night, Levi had been curious enough to click the ‘book a free trial button’ and to even fill out the first few lines.

Organization name? He didn't have one.

Purpose? To catch up with his own brain child maybe.

He ended up staring at the blank screen for a while, wondering where the hell he would get an organization and a valid purpose.

He wanted to check it out, he really did. And he was a little salty that they required a background check before they even allowed trials for a project he created.

Curiosity became desperation. With desperation, came creativity, audacity. He took his phone with the intention of just asking Nifa a few questions, only to see there was an unread message from her.

Thanks for today! I had a lot of fun. Hopefully, we can plan something soon. I might be busy with work this week but maybe the week after?

Levi stared at her message and composed a quick reply, pleasantries forgotten.

You mentioned something about IT support openings in the hospital...

***

The hiring manager introduced himself as Moblit but he didn't say much else. Instead, he spent the next few minutes looking through Levi's resume, his brow wrinkled.

"Is there something wrong with my resume?" Levi asked, breaking the silence. He had kept it minimalistic, only sticking to odd jobs the past five years.

Moblit shook his head. "Nothing, it just doesn't look like you have support role experience."

"Do I need experience in a support role? I think I'm familiar enough with how apps work to stand in as one," Levi said. Should he mention that he had done the support work before?

"So you've compiled tickets, sent them over to developers?"

I'm the developer who deals with those bullshit tickets. He thought to himself. On the outside though, he nodded and leaned a bit more forward on the table. It wasn’t too difficult to show interest. He was genuinely interested, having given in to that curiosity-turned-desperation.

"Well, if you're interested in taking the job then…” Moblit said. “Let's see how much you know about the mood alarm app." He opened a folder. "It's a relatively new solution, so I don't expect you to know much but if you've heard of the love alarm?"

"I have."

"Well they're from the same corporation…"

Information on their history flew into one ear and out the other. "Do you have any more questions for me?" Levi asked. He could have interrupted Moblit there but he didn’t want to hear about a history he actually experienced first hand.

Moblit cleared his throat. "Well, if you could tell me how you think the mood alarm works? Then I’ll give you a list of common bugs and can you tell me how you will go about raising them to developers?

***

Six years hadn’t done much to make him forget. He had been working with the love alarm for almost a decade after all.

And the mood alarm? He had a strange connection to it, he couldn’t explain.

The code wasn’t open source. Of course it wouldn’t. That was an enterprise application and they wouldn’t want any hacker just randomly getting it. Yet, why did he feel so offended at not having access?

“Hey Levi, how would you handle this?”

“Handle what?” Levi didn’t look up from his monitor immediately. The voice and the question have all were all too familiar and it wasn’t urgent anyway.

“Levi, take a look…” Farlan seemed more frustrated than a second ago.

Levi looked at Farlan’s screen. Another display issue. He was all too familiar with the bugs and it looked like the love alarm and the mood alarm were coming up with the same issues. “Click the activate button three times really fast, right click the desktop, select inspect and take a screenshot. We send it over to the developers on the mood alarm team,” Levi said. That had become routine after a while, yet somehow, his two colleagues Farlan and Isabel were still asking questions.

Maybe because he was the only one who understood what the hell the developers needed to see to actually get to the bottom of the problem.

“Make sure to check it in both light mode and dark mode,” Levi said. “And also, there’s a known bug for the phone app, check if turning on the alarm affects your ability to receive notifications from other apps.” Those words had sent a wave of nostalgia through him. That was one of the bugs he had gotten around to fixing with the love alarm.

“Hey...”Isabel’s voice sounded from next to him. Levi turned around, almost jumping when he saw she had been close enough to look over his shoulder. “What are you researching?”

It wouldn't look good if he slacked off at work in front of colleagues a good few years his junior. Levi closed the tab. “Just my own research on mood alarm.” And when he looked at his codes a little longer, then back at Isabel who seemed almost confused, Levi realized it had looked more like extra work than anything else.

He spent the whole morning on ‘extra work, watching the API calls, making notes to himself to check the codes he had sent Hange years back just to see how much had changed.

“You finished all your tasks today and you still wanna do research on the mood alarm?” Farlan asked, a look of utter amazement on his face.

“What can I say? This app is pretty interesting.” it wasn’t a lie. Watching the growth of his own child from afar, was a fun thing to do.

“It honestly feels like you’ve done this type of work before."

“I did something similar,” Levi said.

“What kind of place did you work in before?” Isabel asked excitedly, her tasks also forgotten.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Levi answered, his tone unchanged.

“Something like the love alarm?”

Levi nodded. “Maybe that’s the reason I can figure things out pretty fast,” he said. The best plan of action was to digress.

“So that means we could make you handle the harder cases?” Farlan snickered.

“I’d rather you learn how to deal with others on your own,” Levi said. “I’ve worked with these apps for a long time. The bugs never end.”

***

“Moblit’s saying you’re doing a pretty good job picking out the bugs,” Nifa spoke above the bustle of the lunch time crowd.

“Are we?” Levi asked. He kept his words brief, not wanting to waste too much energy speaking over the others in the hospital cafeteria.

“Well, he was talking about you mostly,” Nifa said. “Most big issues get resolved with each release. And Moblit was saying that our support team just gives really good feedback.”

“The developers do the work. All we do is find the bugs.” Levi started to pick more meticulously at his salad

Nifa shook her head. “I think the support team deserves credit too. It’s difficult figuring out whether issues are user issues or there’s really a bug. Isabel also told me you find ways to reproduce it quickly.”

“Do I?” His responses were getting less and less creative. There just wasn’t much to say and the compliments were making him more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Moblit was a life saver. He had broken out of the crowd, running to Nifa, an urgent but excited expression on his face. “Nifa, you’ve got to hear this.”

Levi used that brief distraction to shovel more salad into his mouth.

Moblit had spoken just beneath the sounds of other conversations and Levi couldn’t make out what he had said. He did make out the urgency in Nifa’s face and the excitement. Whatever Moblit had said was contagious.

“When are they coming?” Nifa asked, her voice much louder than Moblit’s.

Levi stood up, gathering his plate, his utensils and his unfinished salad. “If I’m not supposed to be in this conversation…”

Moblit shook his head. “Levi, no, please stay. I’d rather you hear this since this is related to your line of work too.”

“Why?” Levi raised one eyebrow.

“Zeke Jaeger and his partner Doctor Hange Zoe, they’re planning to visit,” Moblit said.

Levi couldn’t even tell what expression he had on then.

Maybe Moblit had interpreted shock as confusion. “Zeke Jaeger is the owner of the love alarm. Hange Zoe’s the creator of the mood alarm… In case you didn't know.”

***

“Hey, I wanna see her… Is this how she looks like?” Isabel’s voice was a whisper, a very loud whisper. “She looks smart.”

Farlan’s voice wasn’t any softer. “Well, that’s what you’d expect from the mastermind behind the mood alarm right? I heard Zeke Jaeger bought her the love alarm so she could look through the code and make the mood alarm for herself.”

“Where did you hear that?” Isabel asked.

“Watch the interviews.”

The click and clack of the keyboard. Then there was the sound of voices coming from the loud speaker from Farlan’s computer.

Then Hange’s very familiar voice.

Levi didn’t want to listen. “You know, if you spend too much time looking through this. You’re not gonna get anything done.” He forced his voice into something louder than what he was comfortable with. “Don’t you two have other tasks to do?”

“Aren’t you excited to meet them?” Isabel rolled her chair next to Levi.

No way in hell am I meeting them. “I’m planning on taking a leave,” he said.

“Wait, why?” Isabel seeming heartbroken, as if Levi taking a leave was the most terrible thing in the world.

“Well, as employees we’re entitled to leaves right?” Levi asked emotionlessly, willing himself not to at all be affected by Isabel’s puppy dog face.

Farlan sighed. “You’re the best one at this type of work among the three of us. You know, this is a good opportunity for you to get noticed.”

“I don’t wanna get noticed,” Levi said, as he focused back again on the screen, refreshing their ticketing software a little bit faster that time. It really was an uneventful afternoon. He couldn’t blame Farlan and Isabel for doing nothing.

“It’s a big money, a chance at a big career move,” Farlan said, raising his voice as if that could have done anything to convince Levi.

Levi looked up from the monitor and back to Farlan. “Do you really want me out of here?”

Farlan shrugged. “I dunno, you just seem too overqualified for this kind of job.”

Levi sighed. “Believe me, I’m happy to be here.” He continued to click refresh, just in case anything could have halted that already seemingly awkward conversation. The reason why he didn’t want to run into Zeke or Hange… Was it written all over his face?

Just in case Farlan and Isabel were mind readers, Levi kept quiet, kept his eyes glued on the screen and he prayed the day would get busier somehow.

It did. But it got busy so close to the end of the day and overtime seemed inevitable.

“We’re not receiving any readings.”

The same exact fucking line, from ten different customers from different hospital branches around the country. “You’re fucking kidding me,” Levi muttered.

He opened all the test devices, only to find, none of them were receiving readings from the mood alarm either. He was sure though, he was annoyed, very very annoyed. Maybe even angry. “Try testing,” he ordered.

Farlan and Isabel were more emotional than he was. If it didn’t work for them, it probably wasn’t working at all.

They had full trust on him. Isabel and Farlan nodded and they went through the devices quickly. All test devices exhausted and there was nothing much to do. Levi was convinced it was an issue that could only be investigated on the backend. “We’re done for the day.”

“We have to send a report right?”

Levi started to pack his bag. “Send a report saying we’re not getting any readings,” he said with a shrug. “It’s probably a backend issue or an issue with their API.”

“You sure we can’t do anything from our side?” Farlan pressed.

Levi shook his head. “None.” He logged out, slung his backpack over his shoulder and exited the office.

He sensed their disappointment in him. In his months working there, Levi had never left the office without doing a thorough investigation and writing a detailed report.

That might be the first time in months, they would give something completely unhelpful for the developers. That wasn’t Levi’s intention though. There were just some things that were better off investigated on his own personal PC.

For the first time in a while, Levi didn’t go straight for the shower when he arrived back home. He booted up his own PC. When he checked his cloud account, he found the private repository with all the codes from the love alarm and the mood alarm was still there.

It hadn’t been touched in years though.

He scrolled through the code, allowing that wave of nostalgic to wash over him gently. Having been the only one who worked on the base, Levi was very very familiar with it. Memories came quickly with the nostalgia. There was a point where the server was down and he remembered the hundreds of support tickets about the temporarily malfunctioning love alarm.

No readings were coming through. Levi did a quick calculation of the time zones of his own city and of the mood alarm headquarters. Then he looked through the code again.

Convinced that it was a fair theory, Levi opened his pseudo email, entered the support email for the mood alarm and left just one sentence on the email body.

I’m convinced one of your devs left a debugger on one of these codes on the backend.

A few years ago, he had been guilty of leaving a debugger running overnight, fucking up the whole command system of the love alarm.

He copied and pasted a part of the code and the sent the email off. For all he knew, the mood alarm could have branched off far from the love alarm, rendering his theory completely stupid. Still, it was a theory worth entertaining.

The issues from work forgotten, Levi started to open his other emails, finding one from Petra on the third page, dated months ago.

Just a reminder that he hadn’t opened that email in months. “A wedding invite?”

Petra Ral and Oluo Bozado invite you to celebrate their wedding…

He didn’t need the rest of it to convince himself to go. He only needed to look at the date under, conveniently a week after Hange and Zeke were scheduled to visit the hospital where he worked.

He sent off two emails that night.

One to Petra, a very very late RSVP.

Then one to management, a request for a two week leave. For personal reasons.

A wedding always made a good personal reason. That was probably only half his actual personal reason though.

***

“I didn’t even expect you to come.” Petra seemed happy.

It could have been the make up or her natural blush. She was a glowing bride, glowing bright enough that Levi was starting to feel lonely.

“It’s been a while,” Levi said. “And you two are looking good.”

“How’s life abroad?” Petra asked.

“It’s fine,” Levi said.

“You adjusted well?” Petra asked again.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Levi took a sip of his wine.

“You managed to get a software engineering job there?” That time it was Oluo who asked.

“Something similar,” Levi said. He started to shake his glass a bit, feigning deep consideration. Maybe that would explain his inability to respond. In truth, he was in no mood to make conversation but when the bride and the groom had gone out of their way to sit next to him on the bench outside their party, and they had gone through all the trouble of asking, it was only polite that he kept his side of the conversation.

Somewhere along the exchanges, Petra brought up a question. And whether it had been appropriate or not, Levi couldn’t tell but he thought it worth an answer at least.

“Have you met anyone?” Petra asked.

“What?” Levi responded.

“I dunno… I guess someone who makes you feel good? Someone who manages to ring your love alarm?” Petra gave him a knowing look.

Levi only had to shift his gaze from Petra to the seemingly blank face of Oluo to know, Petra had at least kept that part to herself. To the others, his alarm ringing with Hange could have been just a bug.

Levi shook his head. “I haven’t touched the love alarm in years,” he admitted.

Petra seemed more understanding. “We haven’t touched it in years either.”

Levi raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Petra stared ahead, looking deep in thought. She turned to Oluo. “Well, I guess a part of us wanted to build this organically, get to know each other first. And maybe that’s the best way to find people. I think the love alarm just causes unnecessary chaos sometimes.”

Levi only had to look back at his past five years to see it. To be honest, he could actually put the blame on the love alarm for completely uprooting his life. He couldn't say he totally agreed though. He didn’t regret the time with Hange either.

But he wasn’t going to deny her credit where credit was due. “You make sense.”

It wasn’t as simple as that though. Somehow, Hange’s own words had torn into the silence. Just for him. The love alarm causes chaos but sometimes it can tie loose ends.

And for him, it had been both. It had caused chaos but somehow, meeting Hange, having gotten to know her, having gotten to talk to her had tied some loose ends inside him.

What kind of loose ends? He couldn’t be too sure.

“Even when you don’t use the love alarm now, have you met other people?” Petra was still very interested in his love life.

Oluo should have been silently uncomfortable about that. Levi couldn’t tell with a quick glance.

“I’ve met a few people though… There’s someone named Nifa,” Levi said,

“Next time you come here, you’ll take her for a visit? Make sure to introduce us to her?” Petra asked.

“Or maybe next time, it will be us visiting,” Oluo added.

The brief conversation ended soon after, with a few exchanged greetings and a promise to bring Nifa. In case something ever happened between him and NIfa.

By the end of the night, he had made a promise to himself not to use that love alarm to find his next love.

Petra was right, the love alarm could cause unnecessary chaos. Besides, love is a choice right?

***

Levi came back from his very relaxing two week leave to two words that made his stomach turn.

Doctor Zoe. That was what Farlan and Isabel called her.

“Doctor Zoe…” Levi repeated. The words tasted unfamiliar. Suddenly, the road trip, the beach trip and just the quiet meetings in the cafe all seemed like just a fevered dream.

“And she stopped to talk to all of us!” Isabel sang, her eyes filled with wonder. “You should have stayed. I swear, I feel like you would have gotten along. She never stops talking. You two could have talked about the mood alarm for hours.”

“She sounds tiring to be with,” Levi said, an attempt at a halfhearted reply.

Farlan grinned, an alarmingly knowing expression on his face. “Don’t lie, you would have enjoyed at least listening. You’re way more enthusiastic about the mood alarm than we are.”

“I’m just being a good employee.” Levi shook his head, as if that was enough to erase the regret that shoved itself into his throat and down to his chest.

“She really made sure to talk to everyone,” Isabel said. “And she stayed for a few days longer. Maybe the plans changed since she went alone.”

“Wait, she came alone?” Levi said. Don’t regret. Don’t you dare regret leaving.

Farlan nodded in response. “Moblit explained this to us before they came.” He turned to Isabel as if expecting some explanation from her.

“I can’t be too sure either, I’ve only heard a bit about it. And rich people like the Jaegers, they like to keep their personal lives a secret right?” Isabel answered.

Farlan shrugged. “Anyway, from what Moblit told me, they intended to visit all the major customers including our hospital chain. They’ve been planning this tour for months, maybe even years but Doctor Zoe ended up going alone.”

“Did you ever find out why?” Levi kept his voice soft, anything louder and he might just look more invested. He turned back to the unopened tickets on his screen. From his peripherals, he could see Farlan and Isabel exchanging glances.

It was Farlan who spoke up. “I have a theory.”

“Tell me,” Levi said.

“They fought.”

“Okay, couples fight.” Levi continued to click at the tickets, opening them one by one, just to feel productive.

“Yeah, but it must have been a big fight right?” Isabel added. “I did some research on Doctor Zoe after we met her and apparently, they were having problems even years ago. Apparently, there are rumors that her husband bought the love alarm to save their marriage.”

“Where the hell did you get that info?” Farlan sounded incredulous.

Isabel chuckled mischievously. “The dark, dark internet.”

“That can’t be true.” Farlan shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t really prove it anymore. A lot of the threads online that actually discuss this get taken down by the admin. But I swear, now that I think about it, it does make sense. I read some articles, no one expected Zeke Jaeger to buy the love alarm… Some said he did it to save the love alarm after a major bug showed up that could have prevented PR….Apparently, there was a certain point a few years ago, where there were photos of Doctor Zoe with another man. I tried looking for the photos but I can’t find them anymore.”

“You really got invested in her love life huh?”

Isabel groaned. “I couldn’t help it. She seemed so nice and she talked to us a lot even when we were just support, she took the time to teach us and she’s just so humble…”

“But what if she really did cheat on her husband?” Farlan challenged. “I mean, the rumors have to have been there for a reason right?”

“Do you think she looks like the type to cheat?” Isabel asked. “That very honest and open face?”

Farlan coughed in surprise. “She doesn’t for sure---but rumors don’t come out of nowhere right?”

“You two, go back to work,” Levi said. While the two had been working, he had been assigning tickets to them, an ingenious way to compose himself.

“Wait not yet, what do you think Levi? You might have better intuition than we do.”

“Intuition?” Levi repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Does she really look like the type to cheat?” Farlan asked.

Levi continued to stare at the screen, not willing to risk showing them whatever expression played at his face then. “I didn’t meet her. You two did so you’re better qualified to answer that question. Tell me, does she look like the type to cheat?”

Farlan paused for a second, then narrowed his eyes at Levi. “I think I have a question which you might be more qualified to answer,” Farlan said. “You’re pretty good at finding bugs. Have you ever done research on the love alarm bug? What do you think the bug was… The one which made Zeke Jaeger buy the app?”

“I don’t think there was a bug,” Levi said.

“What do you mean?” Farlan pressed.

“Get back to work you two.” Levi kept his voice firm, loud and authoritative. Something he would have rather not done, if it hadn’t been for the weight which came with what should have been a light piece of gossip, and his whittling ability to keep a stoic demeanor.

The deep dark internet. Levi watched his two companions. Their eyes were once again fixed on the screen, Farlan’s fingers were flying over the keyboard, Isabel was playing with some test device.

Deep enough at work for Levi to take his own quick break. He opened an incognito tab and put his headphones on.

One video or one article, and he’d get back to work. He found an interview, the opening questions had been the same familiar ones Farlan had been playing on speaker months ago.

He played the first few questions at twice the speed. He knew the answers already.

What inspired you to make the mood alarm?

“Love alarm… Codes… Yadayadayada…” Levi muttered just a loud enough for himself. Hange had been careful not to mention anything about a developer. He could see the way she had shifted gazes for just a second, seeming uncomfortable.

He couldn’t blame her. Isabel had said so herself, in the deep dark internet, maybe there were rumors of an affair.

And some journalists were aware.

Personal Life? Around the point that someone asked about her personal life, Levi slowed the clip down. They had timed it, to the exact point where Hange had tensed up and looked away for just a second.

“Can you tell us about your relationship with Zeke Jaeger? How has it been?”

“How did you feel when you realized he bought you the love alarm? Is it true he bought it to win you back?”

Hange was admirably professional about it. “We’re digressing now,” she said with a light hearted tone, a laugh which seemed more rehearsed than actually Hange’s.

Is it true you had an affair with another man? It wasn’t loud enough for Hange to have heard it, just a sound among others. When Levi had been looking for that question and it rang more loudly for him. He rewinded the video a few times just to make sure.

What the hell… No we didn’t… We. Didn’t. Have. An. Affair.

“Levi, are you okay?” Isabel asked

“What?”

“You were talking to yourself just now.”

Levi quickly closed the tab as Isabel looked over his shoulder. “Nothing, just looking at tickets,” he said. He went back to their ticketing application, opened a few more tickets and decided to table the research until later that evening.

***

The deep, dark internet.

With his own personal wifi and his own VPN, Levi had more wriggle room to dig deeper.

There was a mention of a fight, a marriage on the rocks, and the rumors only grew from there. The more Levi found, the more courage he mustered. It turned out, the process of scrolling through threads, joining chat groups had been nothing but liberating.

Liberating but infuriating.

The internet was an aggregate of bad takes and the occasional good one. From bad takes came horrible half baked rumors.

I swear, if they end up divorcing…

Jaeger should have dumped her fucking ass from the start.

Slut…

Whore…

Hange Zoe. Fucking gold digger.

There were rumors that she had manipulated Zeke for the money. Rumors that she had only married him to complete her PhD.

Levi quickly went through those.

Some of the people were nice though and Levi read those comments a little more slowly.

The mood alarm was Zoe’s deal.

The money Jaeger put into was a donation.

If they’re not happy, let them divorce.

And there were videos, particularly zoomed videos in events of Zeke and Hange in conventions and conferences, the latest one only a few months ago. Before Hange had visited the hospital.

In the most recent one, they were talking, just at the corner behind the stage, still visible from the camera. Levi rewinded the video again and again just to confirm their identity.

The Hange on the screen seemed indignant. Zeke had pulled her in by the waist, she pulled away. In response, Zeke had once again gone for her hands, pulling her towards him.

Just like back in the school gym.

It was different, that time in the gym Hange had been accepted yet determined at the same time. The Hange on the video, or the least, the one he could make out from the flailing of her hands, the stamping of her food on the ground, the moment she had pulled away then turned away was telling.

Hange wasn’t accepting anything anymore.

Levi scrolled through the comments.

If Hange Zoe divorces Zeke Jaeger… If she keeps possession of the mood alarm... she’s a gold digger.

She needed Jaeger funds to complete PhD… It’s Zeke Jaeger’s PhD not hers lmao XD

It was around the fifth most liked comment when Levi closed the tab, not bothering to bookmark the site. That was enough internet toxicity for the day.

***

“You’re transferring me?” Levi had ended up preempting the discussion.

Nifa and Moblit looked at each other, then back at him. Then Nifa nodded.

Moblit shook his head, creating some confusion. “No, we wanted your opinion on this first. The city we’ll be transferring you to isn’t very… convenient.”

“But you will be paid more,” Nifa said.

Since no one actually wants to live there. A fact no one actually admitted during those types of meetings but Levi had been in corporate long enough to know.

“And it’s just for a few years,” Moblit said, his tone, a tone of reassurance more than actual confidence. “Our hospital got special permission to do testing and research and we’ll need one support guy there. This is an important project for our hospital so...”

Levi had done a quick google search of the city under the table, a name he never heard of, and just the picture of a very sleepy town with not many buildings with even two floors was indicative. There was a reason why Moblit and Nifa seemed uncertain about a transfer.

There wasn’t much he did anyway in that city. How could moving away be any different?

“What’s this research about?” Levi asked.

Moblit responded to that more clearly and more confidently. “We’re planning to do further research, create programs for kids who grew up in difficult households to help them process emotions better. We’re starting with a few kids, on a small research facility up north… And having someone on call would be helpful.”

It didn’t take much to convince Levi after that. “There isn’t much for me to miss here anyway.” Really, he would have taken that transfer even without the pay raise.

***

There was peace and quiet which came with living in the middle of nowhere. Peace and quiet had a way of making Levi unbearably bored yet at the same time more perceptive as to why the hell no one wanted to live there in the first place.

Winters were cruel, with snow piling up meters high. Even in the summers, the sky was overcast and in all four seasons, the air still found a way to be suffocatingly dry.

Someone mentioned something about lake effects and something about rain shadows, and Levi couldn’t really tell which one was it. He wasn’t a scientist after all.

He was human though, a very simple minded human with no science degree. So he let the weather affect his moods, maybe even affect his long term philosophies in life. His current environment was too different from the bustling city he grew up in, or the other urban jungle he had lived the past five years of his life, he deemed his new home, the epitome of the middle of nowhere.

It was completely unfamiliar and by some psychological consequence to Levi, it was too far flung from his old life for Levi to even entertain anything about his old life, beyond work. So it became easier to take a more pragmatic approach at reminiscing.

A few months into his transfer, he had even started reading articles on Zeke and Hange again.

Billionaire Zeke Jaeger finalizes divorce would Mood Alarm founder Hange Zoe.

Then the comments section:

That was fast.

I knew it, Zoe’s a gold digger.

There was the string of names, whore, sluts, cheaters and gold diggers that never made too much sense as sentences. So Levi quickly closed the tab.

You actually did it. He thought to himself. And when he thought a little longer about it, he realized he did feel happy for her.

Happy? Sad? Disappointed? Out of curiosity, he opened his own mood alarm and clicked activate. It glowed with a bright green.

He could have been happier.

Levi decided to blame the sky for his fickle mood. That grey view that stretched far unimpeded by any of the surrounding low rising buildings, only ending by the mountains that seemed hundreds of miles away.

The surrounding mountains and the large lake followed him to work. An overly scenic landscape that reminded him, the train back to the capital only came once a day, the train that passed through the next major city only passed three times a day.

And fucking hell, train tickets were expensive.

By some modern day definition, Levi really was trapped in the middle of nowhere.

The weather only made him more cynical, yet angrier at the tasteless comments under the news article on Zeke and Hange’s divorce. As he neared the research center, he ended up tabling that reflection with one sentence, something comforting yet oddly depressing.

Hange wouldn’t look for me. Then he brushed it away violently soon after. The audacity of even considering the prospect that he was important enough for her to want to search for him. Why would Hange care where he is?

The fact that Hange was followed by the press while he was trapped in the middle of nowhere was indicative enough. They were from two completely different worlds.

***

It may have taken months more, but what Levi clocked to a ‘bout of wanderlust’ eventually settled. He found, keeping himself busy with the right work had done wonders to placate the turmoil inside him.

Keeping busy somehow made it easier to sit up and get ready for work. It meant managing to desensitize his own moods to the weather around him.

Most importantly, it meant seeing some connection with the world, some sliver of motivation to go the extra mile with the people who worked with.

“Early as always, Ackerman.” Same greeting everyday.

“Morning to you too, Onyankopon,” Levi responded as he entered the irsmall office.

Onyankopon was a companion duringearly in the mornings, lunch times, late afternoons and sometimes, even the dinners when he would invite Levi out for a drink in the only bar for miles around.

Still, it made life remotely eventful when the only changing things had been the weather and his work.

And his work was very eventful.

“Uncle Levi! Did you find any bugs yesterday?” Just like every other morning, the two kids would burst through the door. Or more specifically, the brunette was always the one bursting through the door, the blonde just followed.

“Gaby, you might be bothering them,” Falco said. He said that at least three times a week.

Levi had never been the type anyway to tell them he didn’t mind their morning visits. It always meant something to look forward to.

“Nothing so far,” Levi said. He looked towards Onyakopon, the one in charge of reporting issues. “Hopefully.”

Onyankopon raised his hands in defense. “Don’t get mad at me, get mad at the devs who created the mood alarm in the first place."

Levi was constantly mad at the devs anyway, if he considered that constant state of self loathing. Working on the mood alarm as support had only made Levi realize how many shortcuts he had taken into making that damn application years ago.

“There’s nothing today,” Levi said as he looked at the two kids. “But I could give you a quick lesson,” he added. He couldn’t say no to the crestfallen faces of the two kids.

He dragged one seat next to him and guided Gaby to one of them and Falco to his own seat. “When I want to look for errors in the code, I look here first.” It was a terribly boring lesson, a useless one. Support 101. At the least, the kids seemed satisfied. “If I right click here, and then inspect, I can see what this website is made out of.”

Gaby let out a breath, a mix between a ‘wow’ and an ‘oh.’ “I can’t read it.”

“It’s another language,” Levi explained. “Computers don’t understand our language. So we have to learn another language to be able to talk to them. And when we’re able to tell them what we want, they’ll do things for us, things we can’t do ourselves.”

Gaby had asked more questions after that. Falco had asked his own too, albeit hesitantly.

The difference between the network and console tabs, the meanings of the strange brackets, what happens if they just aimlessly click…

That morning session ended with less than half the questions answered, and a promise to teach them more the next morning. Like every other day before, at eight in the morning, Onyankopon brought them to the activity room and Levi was left alone in the office.

There weren’t many people in the research center, only five employees in total. After all, there were only ten to twenty kids who came and went every day, a very manageable number for five people. He and Onyankopon shared an office and with Onyankopon busy a good chunk of the day, Levi was left alone.

With his own efficient working methods and his outstanding ability to quickly pick out the bugs, Levi was usually free for a cumulated five hours a day.

When he first started working there, his five hour long breaks consisted of reading novels or whatever stupid article came up on his timeline. He could have taken longer breaks yet chose to spend them as short sporadic bouts of inactivity

By spreading out periods of inactivity, Levi managed to somehow pacify the guilt at ‘doing nothing’ while being paid for the eight hours a day. There were times, it was strong, remnants maybe of his stint with the love alarm, barely taking leaves, willingly putting him through the pain of overtime.

Some days, they were particularly strong, sometimes incomprehensible that Levi suspected they could have been related to the burning curiosity, the burning attachment to his own application that never abated.

A burning attachment, a natural need to be productive eventually resulted in sporadic bouts of unproductivity spent just testing the mood alarm all for a brief look into his own emotions.

Even when he wasn’t feeling anything in particular, the application continued to glow colors, just flitting between greens and blues. They could have been yellows or oranges maybe, when Onyankopon or Gabi or Falco visited. He had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve though and thus, had never opened it with them around.

That day wasn’t any different. Alone in the office, he opened it again, held it in his hands and watched the colored blobs swim amongst each other, mix amongst one another, then disappear.

Blue or Green? That day it was blue. Why blue and why not green? He could never ask. ‘How’ was always an easier question to answer. He only had to connect his phone to the PC then boot up the dashboard.

His next break, he decided to try a visualization exercise, like every other time before.

Memories never seemed to do the trick. He’d take a risk and dive deep, into his memories with Hange, his anger at the situation, the loss of a life before. Yet it all came out greens and blues. The alarm rang, an almost deafening sound in the silent room and for a split second, it had Levi attentive and a little paranoid. Levi knew though, with the thick concrete walls around him, it was a sound just for him.

He connected his phone to the dashboard and booted the PC again.

There were numbers. He switched to a bar graph view, noting how there were terms, hormones and chemicals he could only barely make sense of. But the blue and the green bars higher than usual yet still very low were signs in themselves.

That morning was a normal morning. And every morning since he built that habit had been a normal morning.

The only thing which ended up different about that day was when footsteps sounded just outside the door. If Levi had been listening closely, he would have been able to point out, those weren't a rhythm of footsteps he was particularly privy too.

But normal mornings tended to desensitize people. Footsteps weren’t particularly interesting either.

In a town with only a few hundred people, it would most likely be someone who already lived there. He continued to work. He disconnected his phone from the dashboard and played with the mood alarm in his own phone again.

The door clicked open behind him, slowly enough for the creak to sound, then fast enough for the slam to come right after yet gently.

Onyankopon always opened the door a little wider, always slamming the door behind him and in between, there was always a greeting. If Levi had been more aware of his surroundings, maybe the lack of all that could have peaked his interest.

In the grand scheme of things though, the door slamming wasn’t anything particularly interesting. Levi continued to sit and stare at his phone.

“Levi Ackerman.”

A voice in an empty room though, was always an interesting thing. By some natural inclination towards voices, any presence in a room that was always his by mid morning, Levi was listening.

Making sense of the voice was a surprisingly slow process. The mood alarm reacted first.

The alarm sounded.

A wave climbed from his chest up until his neck, there was a bristle at the back of his neck, a tickle at his ears, then something pricked at his eyes. He looked down at the alarm before he could completely understand. The colors continued to swim then mix.

They always disappeared and finalized the reading in five seconds.

A second or two passed, and the colors still didn’t look at all in a hurry to disappear.

You’re going crazy Levi. He took a deep breath. He was dreaming. Because what the fuck. Of course she wouldn’t be here. She had an international company to run.

“Levi…” The voice sang. “That’s you right?”

Don’t look back.

“Or maybe there are just a lot of developers named Levi in this world… “ The footsteps were only getting closer. “Developers who are just really good at using the mood alarm.” Then the voice was right next to him.

When she had settled on that seat right at his peripherals, he couldn’t exactly chalk it up to a fevered dream. The mood alarm in his hands continued to ring. He could have sworn at least five seconds had passed. Yet the colors never disappeared, countless colors still swimming around on the interface as the mood alarm continued to read his emotions.

Levi had never been a master of articulation. The war of colors, the chaos on the phone were the best visual representation. He struggled to find the right words, but she continued to stare from his peripherals, her face many things at once.

Apologetic? Expectant?

“It is you,” she said, triumph and relief apparent in her tone.

That only pissed Levi off more. Another emotion added to his boiling pot. Eventually Levi thought it necessary to respond. With too little time, too little mindspace to even attempt to articulate, Levi kept himself to three words, the only three which could have meant everything at once.

“What the fuck.”

In response, she let out a soft laugh. “Are you crying?”

Crying? Now that Levi did think about it, there had been a crack in her voice too. Levi looked up to see her, smiling. Her eyes were smiling too. Then he followed the tear streak that barely grazed the side of her lip.

There was enough time, enough silence for Levi to gather himself. To stare at the reading on the application that couldn’t seem to decide what emotion Levi was feeling.

With enough self discipline, enough concentration, Levi managed to speak. “Hange, if you ask people why they’re crying, you’re just gonna make it worse.”

***

There was only one tea shop in the town, a tea shop which naturally, Levi had chosen as his favorite hang out spot.

Over the months, he had grown familiar with it and in turn, it had grown to become an intimate friend. An intimate friend he had never expected to ever introduce to Hange.

Onyankopon and Moblit had joined them for tea though, and suddenly, Hange didn’t feel like Hange. It could have been the way she shifted to an ‘all business’ demeanor or maybe a part of him was still trying to rationalize what he had deemed to be a very irrational thought.

Maybe he had imagined visiting the cafe with Hange a few times. The realist inside him though, had always believed it to be impossible. At that moment, the dreamer inside him was still taking its victory lap.

“You should have told us you’d be coming. We could have set up something better than late afternoon tea,” Onyankopon said. Either way, he seemed very happy to see them.

Moblit took a sip from his cup then revealed an apologetic smile underneath as he put the cup down. “Apologies for visiting all of a sudden. Doctor Zoe is a very impulsive person.”

Hange nodded. “I hope you don’t mind. As soon as I heard about this, I hopped on the next plane just to get here as soon as possible,” she said “I’m hoping to start something like this in the hospitals back home.”

Moblit put his cup down. “Right, I never got to properly introduce you to Levi.” He turned to Onyankopon then to Levi. “But I’m sure you’ve had a fair share of introductions… You did barge into his office this morning.” He had an apologetic look on his face.

“Hey, Doctor Zoe just wanted to see how we were using the software,” Onyankopon said in Hange’s defense. “I’m more than honored to see that the founder of the mood alarm is taking the time to even wander around our facility.”

Moblit cleared his throat. “Anyway, Levi, this is Doctor Hange Zoe, the founder of the mood alarm application. She visited our main hospital a year back but if I remember correctly, you were on leave right?”

“On a personal leave,” Levi clarified. He couldn’t find much else to say. He took a long sip of tea.

“This is Levi Ackerman,” Moblit said. “One of our best in IT support. He learned how to use your application pretty fast.”

“Yes…” Hange said. “And ever since you told me about him, I’ve been very excited to meet him.” Her grin only got wider as she studied his features, her eyes giving him a good once over. “I guess that’s the reason I ended up taking my own tour of the center while you too were catching up. I wanted to see your genius IT support in action,” she joked.

It was almost unbelievable that that morning, Hange had showed a completely different side to him. She had wiped her own tears pretty fast, shifting her expression to something very professional as soon as Onyankopon and Moblit had entered the office just that morning.

The whole afternoon, Hange was busy with activities and tours of the town, Levi busy with his own work. They barely got to talk. Fortunately, that had allowed Levi time to compose himself, enough to keep a straight face when Onyankopon had invited them over for some tea.

Then and there, there were conversations of partnerships and business, almost reminiscent to whatever bullshit he had to deal with in his old company. But this conversation had Hange, and Hange had shifted her gaze towards him enough times for Levi to feel it only proper to reciprocate.

“Once this project is over, would you consider letting Levi go?” Hange asked. “I’d love to have him visit our main office, maybe help out with some of our development work.”

Moblit shook his head vigorously. “No hesitation. It always felt like he was overqualified for this type of job.”

“By the way you talk about him, I can tell.” She looked at Levi knowingly, a silent form of communication just between both of them. She turned back to Moblit then Onyankopon, her face once again all business. “There are many things I hope to still improve with this application so any support on research, troubleshooting, development is very much appreciated.”

“What do you suggest?” Moblit asked.

A quick glance at Onyankopon and Levi knew he was asking the same question.

Hange put one finger to her chin in thought “A partnership…”

It looked like they had expected Hange to talk Levi’s ear off non stop about the application. Moblit had mentioned something about going straight home while Hange discussed the partnership with Levi, mentioning bugs, the debugger that had been stuck in the system and the bugs which Levi had been quick to point out.

Levi, being respectful, had only listened.

That was until Onyankopon and Moblit offered to walk ahead, leaving Levi and Hange alone on the red brick road overlooking the large lake.

It was early in the evening but it still felt like late afternoon. The sun never set until seven or eight during the mid months of spring.

Yet, the streets was empty, bereft of anything but the both of them.

With one quick scan of their surroundings, Hange turned back to him, she bit her lip and took a deep breath.

Her demeanor was suddenly a stark contrast with the enthusiastic, eloquent one back at a cafe. The sudden transformation was enough for Levi to tense up,

Hange spoke up. “This town really sleeps early,” she commented. “You're planning on going home now too?”

“I usually go home an hour earlier, especially on weekdays,” Levi responded. “I’m only out at this time because they invited me for late afternoon tea.” Technically it was dinner.

“Do you go home….” Hange started, she paused for a second, a very out-of-place pause. “To anyone?”

It took a lot of effort for Levi to resist choking or even letting out a ghost of a laugh at that question. I’m married to my job. That was the answer that popped into his mind out of instinct.

“Did I make it time?” Hange added a second later, only reminding Levi that he hadn’t even mustered a glimmer of answer.

“Make it in time?” Levi asked, in an attempt to stall for time.

“Petra…”

“She married Oluo.”

Hange didn’t seem satisfied. “Is there someone else…” she pressed. “Someone else...”

Hange started to speak with her hands, gesturing for Levi to ‘go on,’ in some awkward wave of a hand. The first awkward gesture Hange had done since they arrived.

Levi couldn’t help but just appreciate that bout of vulnerability he could pull out of her. “There is,” he said.

Just for a second, Hange’s face fell and for a moment Levi relished it.

“Oh…” Hange turned away. “Then, I should take you home… I’d love to meet her…”

Then suddenly, Levi felt just a little bad for that trick. “I was fucking kidding,” he said.

Hange let out a loud sigh of relief, an ugly huff and she looked away, suddenly self conscious.

Levi had to admit, it was an ugly snort. He was tempted to take a good look at her face, and maybe he had craned his neck as she kept silent for a second longer. “I’m not some idiot who would marry someone just because it’s convenient," he said.

“Give me a break. I just graduated from college when I decided to get married,” Hange said. “Besides, we enjoyed each other’s company.”

“If you chose that type of life, I wouldn’t have stopped you. Besides, you had a lot on the line, your PhD, your mood alarm, the love alarm, your reputation. It wouldn’t have been easy choice to make.”

Hange hummed. “The PhD is done, my reputation, I don’t give too much of a rat’s ass about that. And the mood alarm? That has always been mine. I put my own money into building that business.”

“It definitely wasn’t cheap.”

“It wasn’t,” Hange admitted. “What if I told you, I earned my own capital for building it in one night in a casino.”

Levi's thoughts flew back to the night at the casino. He grinned. “I’d believe you.”

“So the mood alarm is mine and I managed to keep it,” Hange said. “But I never forgot you know... The plans, the codes, they’re all yours.”

“So you did get the email,” Levi said.

Hange nodded. “And the email got me thinking…” she trailed off for what seemed like an eternity.

Levi couldn’t wait. “About what?”

Hange thought for a few seconds longer, putting her hands behind her back. “That ended up one reason why I even considered leaving Zeke,” she said. “He has a different way of loving, I have a different one too. Love is freedom. Love is just trusting. Zeke on the other hand, always likes to play safe, tie people down.”

“What happened to ‘love is a choice?’”

Hange seemed unperturbed. “Love still is a choice.”

“Then why not choose to love Zeke?” Levi challenged.

Hange sighed and put one hand up. “You said it yourself, deciding to leave wouldn’t be an easy decision,” she started. “I considered three things.”

She put one finger up. “Our own views of love. Zeke sees it as a game, as an investment and he approaches it conservatively… On the other hand, I see love and relationships as a form of freedom, a risk. In love, I don't believe in playing to win.”

She put another finger up. “I considered how I was feeling, this really weird feeling, my thoughts on Pemberley then on colors.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be a slave to your emotions.”

Hange shook her head. “I’m not. I approached this methodically. Even before considering my feelings, I considered my circumstances.” She put the third finger up. “I considered the backlash, I considered Zeke’s feelings, dealing with a divorce. And that’s what brought me here, despite the criticism, despite my inability to buy the love alarm and to barely salvage the mood alarm.”

“You still gave in to your emotions.”

Hange nodded. “After thinking long and hard about it, I did. But before that, I weighed all three, and I decided to take the risk.”

“Was it worth it?”

Hange shrugged and she leaned over the rail, seeming mesmerized by the lake. “I won’t know yet but I guess, even when I thought you had someone else…” There was a flash of hurt on her face, enough for Levi to regret playing that little joke on her.

“I don’t have anyone else,” Levi clarified.

Hange continued to speak. “I still thought the risk was worth taking. It would have been unfair to Zeke if I stayed and who am I to stop you if someone makes you feel happy.” She turned back to him. “This is the way I’ll choose to love. I’ll weigh my emotions, my circumstances and my worst case scenarios. Then I decide the most loving thing to do. If I have to take a risk, I take it. And I guess, given all that, looking for you seemed like the correct decision.”

Levi couldn’t stifle that smile any longer, and he hoped somehow, his own words would stop it from getting any wider. “Well, it's too early to tell if it's a good decision.”

Hange opened her phone and opened the application. “Can we try again?”

“You wanna use the love alarm?” Levi asked. “Your ex-husband’s application.”

“It’s still your brainchild,” Hange said as she waited for it to load. She hovered her thumb over it.

“I don’t have it installed,” Levi said.

“I can wait,” Hange said. And there was no room for argument in her voice.

An awkward few minutes as Hange watched him download the application. Levi focused on the loading bar, and luckily, his biometrics were still registered from that brief experiment of a year ago.

“On three…” Hange said, her voice a little stilted.

But they didn’t finish counting or maybe they just counted at completely different paces.

The alarms rang, filling the empty space between them, two rings which never seemed to find a uniform pace. Even with a very dominant fastidious side though, Levi wasn’t thinking too much about such a small detail.

Hange’s was smiling, grinning, or whatever that was called. Her face was a mix between pure ecstasy and pure passion. She wrinkled her eyes at him, her mouth climbed into a grin wider than he had ever been used to.

She let out a loud sigh. “I was fucking scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That you would have gotten over me… I dunno, thought you might just think love was a choice, and I dunno, stop feeling whatever that love alarm thing was feeling.”

“I don’t think the love alarm works like that,” Levi said. Really, he started to realize he didn’t know how it worked.

Hange shook her head. “I’m probably just overthinking. You know… I learned how to code over the years, talked to a few developers and tried to look into how the application works,” she said.

“Did you find anything?”

“Remember when you told me that the love alarm starts to figure out for its own what love is. It creates its own definition. Something we can’t even comprehend...” Hange was still grinning, her voice coming out as breaths and sometimes sounds.

Still, Levi could comprehend most of it. “You have any theories?” he pressed. Hange always had theories.

“Soulmates? Relationships in a past life?” Hange suggested.

“Well, we can’t really look back at those right?” Levi said. “Well, what else?”

One word, one word out of Hange’s mouth. “Pemberley.”

“Pemberley?” Levi asked. Somehow though as Hange looked back at the lake, up at the sky then at the gaudy main street of that small town. Levi started to understand it himself.

“It’s ugly here,” Levi said. At first he had meant it. As Hange started to look at her surroundings then back at the lake, with a look of wonder in her eyes, Levi was sure he had meant it as a challenge.

“When you’re in love then with the person we love, everywhere starts to feel like Pemberley,” Hange completed a second later.

Does it? And he wondered why the hell, he needed Hange to point it out.

They were in an ugly town, a place people were paid to live in. The sky was constantly overcast. When it wasn’t raining, it was snowing and it snowed six months a year. When it wasn’t snowing or raining, the sky was at least threatening it.

The way that Hange had looked at it with such naive wonder, the way she had just stood there, looking at everything and back at him, Levi couldn’t help but entertain the idea of Pemberley.

Maybe give the colors a chance to show themselves? Hange didn’t say it out loud. In the moment they made eye contact though, Levi couldn’t help but just give that little piece of advice a chance, whether it had been his own or Hange’s.

He looked first at the main road and the red brick path, noting how the gaudy red, worn by the elements more than actual foot traffic seemed to still glow a bright red despite the grey undertones. He then looked to the buildings, varying shades of concrete grey yet ‘the varying shades’ of it seemed to still have some sense of novelty.

He then looked back at the ocean, the dark sky above never allowed it a more beautiful shade of blue, yet the bluish black still continued to glow. The waves only sent glimmers of silver against the dark blue. Then it was only natural that he looked up at the sky, the sky which never allowed any other shade for itself, except on a few select days a year.

The fog blocked whatever green the mountains beyond the lake would have shown him.

Looking back at Hange then back at his surroundings, he started to accept it. There were greens, reds, blues, yellows and every other color in the spectrum. The world glowed with so many colors, so many lights and sounds. His emotions were a whirlwind that spun to whatever rhythm the lights and colors blinked at.

Colors persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Emotions persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Even emotions we don’t understand ourselves. Levi added to himself.

Maybe Hange was right. That was what the love alarm had been trying to show. The one person who made the colors, the emotions all the clearer.

“This is a beautiful place,” Hange said. “And I wouldn’t mind staying here, lay low a bit, just long enough for people to forget the divorce fiasco.”

“There are a few nice places here,” Levi said.

Hange continued to stare.

Why don’t we just live here together right Levi?

I know you, you wouldn’t be able to stay out of the action.

Levi felt almost ashamed at that mystery response that seemed to pop into his head out of nowhere. We can live here long enough to get our shit together. "First things first, let’s discuss this partnership, over tea in my house.”

“Now?” Hange’s widened her eyes. And her eyes were smiling.

“Well, unless you have other plans tonight,” Levi said.

Hange shook her head. “Nothing much…”

They made the whole way back to his home in silence. Surprisingly, Levi preferred it that way. It had been enough for him to appreciate his new comprehension of his surroundings, the small details he hadn't noticed before.

It wasn’t just the view. The rhythm of their footsteps, their uncoordinated breathing, and just the way the trees rustled, the wind blew, always found a way to glow different colors. His emotions, the chaos of every moment after that were also challenging him to find their colors.

And the circumstances that had them locked in his cramped apartment, sitting over tea, with no one else watching, nothing restricting them had Levi reflecting. It probably had Hange reflecting too. They spoke unhindered with just thoughts, expressions and locked gazes.

For one reason or the other, it happened quickly and abruptly, leaving no space or time to comprehend it.

Sitting on his living room sofa right next to her. Hands clasped against the other. Her dry lips were on his.

The magic welling in his chest, the thunder that climbed quickly up his throat, persevering even underneath the grey. They were all screaming at him then, they all glowed colors.

At that moment though, he had been to tired to reflect on it for any longer. He decided to just roll with it.

It was no use making sense of it. After all, life, love and emotions... They were all just complicated that way.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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insertdisc5 · 4 years

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Hi ! I love your wlw visual novel!! I was wondering how did u make it?? I would love to make my own visual novel but i'm not quite sure how to do it or where to start:')

i am now devastated i didnt write down my experience making a vn. it’s been years so here’s a few things

-ren’py is the program i used to make it! there’s also visual novel maker but ive never used it so i can’t say whether its good or not

-i dont know how to code AT ALL so i learned by downloading a random visual novel, opened it in renpy, and looked at the code.... feel free to use serre to analyze how i coded it lol. from that, coding was relatively easy... i remember having some trouble figuring out how to add small animations but thats it!

-WAIT I AM REMEMBERING renpy has a very good website to explain how to use it and i did use it all the time. it’s here use it!!!! it has coding help! its made for dummies!!!!

-coding aside i feel like the process is just like making any other story... you get an idea you write it down you draw a bunch

-ummmm (i look at my old Serre folder) you will need many different assets so make sure to divide them by folder. for example in my assets folder i had a Background folder, a CG folder (for the big illustrations), an Expressions folder (for the characters) a Text folder (for the fonts), a Graphics folder (for the choices background etc) and a Music folder.... divide stuff.... make it easy to find

-thats it i made it a while ago so thats all the advice i have

#ask tag #visual novel #Anonymous #ref #reference

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survey--s · 2 years

Text

34.

What is your favorite game to play on your phone? Klondike, Solitaire Cash and Bingo Blitz. What is the last thing you bought at the dollar store? I haven’t been to the pound shop for about a year, lol. I think the last thing I bought there was an insulated coffee mug, though. Do you like getting caught in the rain? Nope, despite my job, I hate being out in the rain. Who was the last person who was rude to you? Someone I met while out on a dog walk. Do you have anyone you can really talk to? Yeah, of course.

What is your newest hobby? Horse riding. What is one way in which this year is different from last year? COVID restrictions eased for a good while which made things feel much more normal, which was definitely a nice change. Do you own a swimming pool? Ha, I wish. It’s always been one of my goals. What is your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Swim, sit on a lilo and relax. How long can you tread water for? I had to do it for fifteen or twenty minutes to pass some swim course in school, but I haven’t tried to do it since so I couldn’t tell you. Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? Nope, even on my busiest days at work I know I’m very lucky and have things very easy compared to many others. What color is your bicycle? It’s red, but I never actually use or ride it. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? My granddad was colourblind. What color are your bedsheets right now? They’re white with dogs in santa hats all over them. What do you do when there are no new or good surveys on bzoink? I don’t use Bzoink, but if I can’t find anything on my Tumblr feed, I’ll pick a blog and look through the archives on there. Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? No. What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I get it delivered on a Sunday night so I have everything sorted for the week ahead. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? The front-right one. Are you behind on chores? No.

How many months until your birthday? My birthday was nine days ago. Do you wish you had someone you could go to for support? I do have that, thankfully. Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? I don’t believe in God, and why would any God want you to lose any of those things in the first place? Who do you wish you were best friends with right now? I’m happy with my current friend and acquaintances. Who's death has affected you the most? I honestly haven’t been badly affected by anyone’s death. Do you have a youtube channel? No. ^If yes, do your parents approve of it? It wouldn’t be their business either way, I’m 33 years old. Have you made any huge mistakes? Of course. Do you think everyone has made huge mistakes? Yeah, absolutely. Nobody lives a perfect life.

What was the last thing you ate? Chicken crackling. Have you ever grown sunflowers? I have a feeling I have - I think we had to do it as a project in primary school. What was the last thing you bought at the Farmer's Market? I haven’t been to one of those for years, but probably fresh bread or sausages. Do you know what you are going to wear for the 4th of July? That isn’t a thing here. Do you own a boat? No. Have you ever been in prison? I’ve visited like, ancient prisons and jails and stuff, but I’ve never been an inmate anywhere or visited anyone in prison. Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? Yeah, I would be. Do you have a dreamcatcher in your room? No. Have you downloaded unique fonts for your computer? No. What was the last thing you played on your phone? Klondike. What's one item on your wish list right now? Riding stuff - I need a hat, boots and a crop. What is your doctor's first name? I don’t have a specific doctor, I just see whoever is available at my practise.

#survey #surveys

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morneboshoff · 3 years

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When is it Time for a Website Refresh?

You’ve heard the old adage… You have 6 seconds to convince a website visitor that your website is the website they’ve been searching for – before they hit that back button.

So keeping your website up-to-date is no longer a matter of preference, it’s a matter of survival.

If it’s been a while since you’ve updated your website, it might be a good idea to consider updating the elements on your website like the content, the design, adding new content or completely overhauling your website as part of a major redesign.

Does your website need a refresh?

So What’s a Refresh?

A business changes as it grows. The same is true with your website. As you create your website, make sure it reflects the business it represents.

Your website’s design will become outdated over time, that’s just how it goes. What was popular 2 or 3 years ago, can feel painfully outdated now (remember keyword clouds?) So refreshing the design is necessary to remain competitive.

Does Your Website Need a Refresh?

If your website has been up for a while, it may be a challenge to know when it’s time to update it. But here are some signs it’s time.

The design of your site is not appealing anymore

Conversions are low

Nothing is interesting or exciting on your website

Ineffective communication with website visitors

Leads aren’t coming in like they did before

Bounce rates are high

Recognize any of these? If so it may be time to make some minor updates or revamp your entire website. It just depends on your situation.

Here are 7 ways you can refresh your website

1. The Basics

Let’s start with the basics. The look and feel of your website can be dramatically updated simply by choosing a more modern fonts set to revamp its overall look. Even small changes can significantly impact transforming an old site into something new and impressive. Google fonts is free, and offers many great options.

2. Consider a redesign – when you need more than the basics

Your website plays a big part in the identity of your business. The way your website looks will have a big impact on the way your visitors feel when they land on your website. What will their first impression be? Are they going to want to do business with you? You are not doing yourself any favors by still using outdated stock graphics and imagery.

Your brand’s identity is shaped by elements like layout, fonts, colors, etc. To keep your website looking crisp, determine which sections have aged gracefully and which areas need improvement.

Replace your outdated images & graphics with a mix professionally taken photos of your staff and business along with some carefully curated high end stock images.

Choose a simple, clean font will make your site look sleek and modern. For example, Google Fonts offers many free typefaces.

An updated color palette can also improve the experience of your visitors.

3. Improve Your Communication

We’ve talked about the 6 seconds you have to grab your visitors attention and keep them on your website so it’s not a surprise that there’s little time for you to get your message across.

Regardless of what you sell, the customer is primarily interested in how you will help them solve their problem. It’s always about them, whatever you say. So make sure visitors can find the content they are looking for without a lot of clicking around.

Speaking of communication it’s a good idea to sprinkle in a variety of compelling and relevant CTAs on your site. Believe it or not, your visitors aren’t mind readers so you need to tell them how they take the next step. CTAs provide various options for the visitor to take action, such as:

“Call Now”

“Book Your Appointment Today”

“Join Now by clicking here,”

“Get started Today”

“Connect with us Today”

“Get your free ______ today”

“Signup today and get ________ “

And don’t forget about social sharing buttons.

The most important thing is that your CTA’s should be well-designed and strategically placed in areas where clients can easily see them.

Pro tip: Make sure that your CTA’s contrast well with the rest of your design but don’t get blend into the rest of your content. CTA’s are most effective when they look like buttons.

4. Improve Your User Experience

You must design your website so that the customer can navigate through it quickly. Your site will attract more visitors if it is easy to navigate. Just a few changes to your menu and checking that every link works can make a massive difference in the over all user experience.

Your navigation consists of links connecting your website’s pages. Carefully examine all your website pages and make sure they are still relevant and organized.

Test your links. Make sure that they don’t lead to 404 Error (Page Not Found). This makes your website appear not maintained and sloppy. Take a look at all the links on your site, including internal and external, and ensure they’re taking your visitors where you want them to go.

5. Analyze Your Website Content – And See Where You Stand

It’s not only about looks when it comes to refreshing a website. Your site must be considered current. Ensuring that what you are saying is valid, helpful, and readable to your visitors. So how can you determine whether your content is new, high-quality, and up-to-date?

By conducting a content audit.

A content audit is intended to assess which links get indexed by search engines, which need to be refreshed and no longer exist. Here are some basic steps you need to follow:

Compile all your databases and sitemaps. The sitemap is a document that lists your site’s pages, videos, and other files along with their relationships. Data from your website is organized into your website’s internal database.

Your site’s URLs are indexed by web crawlers who collect content throughout the Internet. An algorithm can be applied to web crawler data to find relevant links in response to specific search terms and keywords. We recommend using Google Analytic, Google Webmaster Tools, and Screaming Frog for crawling website content.

Content auditing can go beyond essentials: You can use titles, descriptions, and word count as primary criteria for content auditing. All of your content entries should contain these elements.

Check organic search, conversions, publish date, time-on-site, page views, load speed, and mobile-responsiveness, too.

The number of conversions divided by unique visits is the conversion rate. By measuring this metric, you can determine if your website traffic is profitable.

Time-on-site is pretty self-explanatory: it’s the amount of time your visitors spend on each of your pages. Content audits can benefit from this metric since you get a clear idea of the performance of your online content.

A page-per-visit measurement indicates how much content is viewed per visit. In most cases, it is presented as an average, which is calculated by dividing the total number of visitors by the total number of page views.

The slower your page loads, the fewer pages search engines can crawl, affecting your search engine rankings.

Take a good thorough look at your content: Identity what content no longer reflects your current business and goals and delete it. Do you need to rewrite or update anything? Is there anything that needs some attention?

Note: It is essential to perform two separate content audits if your website has Desktop and Mobile versions as their codebases are different.

6. Competitor Analysis

You should also examine how your competitors’ sites can be improved while evaluating the same areas where yours could be better. Are they doing anything new on their website that is working? Is their website more responsive than yours? Have they made updates to their website recently?

Aside from seeing what your competitors’ websites look like, it would help if you also figured out which websites link to them. Is it possible to obtain links from these same websites, or can you get links from other high-ranking websites? This is authority backlinking 101 & makes a huge impact on your rankings.

7. Make Sure Applications Are Maintained

Now that you have updated your contact information, added some fresh content, and checked for broken links, make sure that all of your web apps are functioning properly. For your tech to keep pace with your business growth, it must adapt and grow along with it.

App management practices include testing and debugging software, enhancing technology and site functionality, updating and maintaining existing security protocols, maintaining new browser versions, creating and maintaining 3rd party integrations, and more. It is very important to maintain your website’s modules, code, plugins and integrations to avoid various issues.

Honorary Mention: A Mobile-Responsive Website

This one is obvious and goes without saying. But nobody is surprised when I say smartphones are the most popular way people access the web. And a lot of them never use anything other than their phone so to say mobile responsiveness is important would be an understatement.

Plus Google favors mobile web-optimized websites in its search rankings and penalizes those that aren’t.

In conclusion, keep it simple. Think marathon, not a race.

A website refresh can be as extensive as you want to make it… Just like any renovation. Although we’ve covered many small changes you can make to your website some will make a much bigger impact than others. But do not under-estimate the end result.

So what now? evaluate your needs and make a plan of attack – and then get started on it. There’s no time like right now.

DOWNLOAD YOUR DIGITAL STRATEGY PLANNING TEMPLATE

#webdesign #digitalstrategy #digitalmarketing

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xukei · 5 years

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°• MDBRD / AES OO2: BITCHIN’ BY XUKEI ̖́-

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 !

it’s yuno bringing u a Sexie new template inspired by the Sexie header i made 4 myself a few days ago, sounds sexie huh ? the main idea is a template u can use for moodboards or aesthetic edits but u kno what , this wuld also slap as a promo . a multiuse slapping template baby ! *youtuber vc* now let’s get into it :

❛ ◜ GUIDELINES ! ›

you’re free to edit it as much as you want & go crazy with this, but never claim it as your own no matter how much you’ve manipulated it, do not redistribute, reproduce, copy, steal or take credit for it.

❛ ◜ SPECIFICATIONS ! ›

✱ 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: everything is neatly organized in folders & made as easy to navigate and clear as possible. the total number of pictures needed for the polaroids is #08. the polaroid pngs used r ones i’ve had in my folder for Years tht i got from google images so full credit to the creators. some ideas for the background r keeping it a solid color, deleting it nd having a transparent bg or using a Nice picture for it ! i wuld also adjust the polaroids to look centered depending on ur title ( click on the folder “polaroid” then select the move tool nd adjust w the arrow keys ) but tht’s just me

✱ 𝐃𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: 860 in width x 920 in height. i recommend resizing it to 540px in width if u plan to use a dotted texture before u start editing it if u don’t want tumblr to ruin your edit

✱ 𝐅𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐒: old english text nd roboto light, both fonts included in the file !

✱ 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐘𝐍: i made this w so much love i hope it gets thru u and u enjoy it, go crazy with this babe it’s ur time to shine ! if u need help w anything feel free to send an ask nd i’ll try to help u to the best of my abilities xxo. nd u know what ? listen to the song the example was inspired by, egoist by loona / olivia hye !

LIKES or REBLOGS would be appreciated if you found this helpful, are a rph blog or plan on using it sometime in the future ! ( DOWNLOAD LINK )

#rph #cpsd #character psd #moodboard template #aesthetic template #these always get so long kdjsnkjsgna #anw this is So Sexie . my mind #lovin the surprise u get when u open di main folders <3 #m: tmpl.#m: cpsd.#template.

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comicteaparty · 4 years

Text

Art Resources

Check out this plethora of art-related resources archived from Comic Tea Party’s Art Resources Channel!

RebelVampire

starting this channel off with @Kabocha 's site http://www.shooting-stars.org/ lots of fantastic brushes and materials to use for both photoshop and clip studio(edited)

https://inkarnate.com/ - a nifty site for creating maps. while there is a pro version, the free version still has a lot of features if you just need a map for personal use to reference for your stories.(edited)

https://bodykunposeoftheday.tumblr.com/ - lots of pose photos of the SH Figuarts Body-Kun figures. really great if you want to get some anatomy and pose practice in!(edited)

http://blog.studiominiboss.com/pixelart - if you're a fan of pixel art, this is a hugely great collection of tutorials by Pedro Medeiros. it's got everything from process explanations, animation tips, shading, and more.(edited)

http://terawell.net/terawell/ - Design Doll, a great 3d program solely focused on doll posing. learning to pose the dolls can be a bit of a learning curve, but it can be fantastic if you really need a specific pose reference.(edited)

http://www.yeoldemapmaker.com/ - another map making website. this one is a lot better for interiors, especially if what you want is to just understand the base layout of a room for reference.(edited)

https://www.textures.com/ - a good site for textures. you have to make an account to download them, unfortunately. however, theres tons upon tons of them. for comics they should be safe, but would recommend checking terms for other things.(edited)

Kabocha

Free Software: I have not personally tested all of these programs. Download at your own risk. indicates that I have used it. Pixia: http://www.ne.jp/asahi/mighty/knight/index.html Artweaver: https://www.artweaver.de/en (has paid version) Medibang Paint: https://medibangpaint.com/en/ Krita: https://krita.org/en/ MyPaint: http://mypaint.org/ (Pressure does not work properly on Surface devices newer than the Surface 3) SmoothDraw: http://www.smoothdraw.com/sd Paint.Net: https://www.getpaint.net/ GIMP: https://www.gimp.org/ Pinta: https://pinta-project.com/pintaproject/pinta/ Inkscape: https://inkscape.org/en/

RebelVampire

https://nattosoup.blogspot.com/ - If you aren't familiar with Becca's blog yet, it's really great. while there is an emphasis on watercolor and traditional art supplies, theres honestly just great information all around. processes, supply reviews, and so on!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

http://leifandthorn.com/2018/07/resources-for-making-webcomics/ - resources I've collected over the years. Mostly art stuff (fonts, color harmony, body types, etc), plus some help with website accessibility and some general webcomic podcasts.

Desnik

This is not a free resource so I hope it's okay, but in just a couple of days poring over the first two pages of this book, I'm really feeling a difference in the elasticity of my character's poses. It doesn't get bogged down by medical terminology and sorts parts of the body by 'landmark' instead: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23580472-anatomy-for-sculptors-understanding-the-human-figure

this is speaking as someone who has multiple years of figure drawing practice from life...I wish this book had been out much earlier, it's just amazing

JaSketch

https://www.calligraphr.com/en/ Here’s a free to use website that turns your handwriting into a legit text font, and it works too!

keltyzoid!

speaking of fonts i've actually made a few that are free to use. there's a couple of webcomics i know of that use them. should can i post them?

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/r8wmj4kp2566jbn/AACCrP70zPVLr8h2f5F4d6BIa?dl=0

they're free, no license or credit necessary

kayotics

this is a pretty basic level "how I do comics" but i like to reference these how-to's from Mad Rupert sometimes as a refresh on comics: http://mynameismad.tumblr.com/post/163801383099/hello-in-case-you-havent-heard-the-sakana

lonelytuatara

for any fellow photoshop users who wanna get better at perspective, this video's been really helpful for me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxBGNcryRs

Delphina

Really helpful Twitter thread about effective paneling! https://twitter.com/h0lysarthole/status/1117464886123089921

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Install old versions of Adobe products for free: https://helpx.adobe.com/creative-suite/kb/cs2-product-downloads.html?promoid=19SCDRQK There are terms & conditions, but the programs don't actually check if you fulfill them. It's up to you to know how much money you've given them, and what you're ethically clear to download in return.

Kabocha

If we're talking about Image Editors, a not-free alternative is Affinity Photo, which is reasonably priced. (I'd look for it to go on sale, but $50 for a perpetual license isn't bad at all!) https://affinity.serif.com/en-us/photo/ Their indesign competitor is in free Beta right now, too: https://affinity.serif.com/en-us/publisher/

Paint.net also still exists: https://www.getpaint.net/

https://www.patreon.com/posts/26834357 In the meantime, here's a post for alternatives to adobe.

https://twitter.com/robochai/status/1124044195092672515

JUNK

https://blog.reimenayee.com/graphic-novel-outline-onion-method/ neat

Hey, I'm sure everyone already knows, but clip studio is on sale for $25 right now! It is (imo) one of the best programs out there for making comics! https://twitter.com/clipstudiopaint/status/1169159411304210432?s=19

MJ Massey

if you're looking for a new display tablet, I found this useful site with tons of tablet reviews! They're organized by size and look at several different brands http://brad.site/reviews/wacom-cintiq-alternatives.html

Attila Polyák

How to draw good looking lightning/electricity! https://www.facebook.com/leesartandmore/photos/a.1370091679712083/2411389295582311/?type=3&theater

seetherabbit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pDE4VX_9Kk

DaeofthePast

Free to use comic font http://purastik.net/ames/e.html

MJ Massey

If you haven't watched Jake Parker's videos, I highly recommend them. They are very informative AND relaxing and encouraging https://www.youtube.com/user/jakeparker44

MJ Massey

GESTURE DRAWINGS! They're important for art practice, especially if you are looking to improve your forms! https://www.quickposes.com/en is my favorite. It has a feature where you can set it to show you different photos every 30-300 seconds to practice gesture drawing!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Just saw this on Twitter. Haven't actually gotten a chance to look at it closely, but I thought other people might also want to take a look https://twitter.com/Worstwizard/status/1183475129084329984?s=09

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

https://twitter.com/noahbradley/status/1185286707819827201?s=09

Attila Polyák

Loads of useful facebbok stuff I meant to post a long time ago, but never got around doing it: https://www.facebook.com/AikaLockheart/photos/a.413147142066258/2235198713194416/?type=3&theater https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=472362883489284&set=a.130547804337462&type=3&theater https://www.facebook.com/geektower/photos/pcb.1089341477902964/1089341267902985/?type=3&theater

MJ Massey

picking pens! From Jake Parker himself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNgYvTI09XE

MJ Massey

for anyone who likes podcasts, I enjoy 3 Point Perspective, particularly their most recent episode on building an online store and making sales https://open.spotify.com/episode/2twCBBjRWZlmzbvWkRoARG?si=N7PiY3UoTJCzq0zZovXsdg

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Here's a good reference generator: https://line-of-action.com/

SAWHAND

Hope this counts as a resource, here's a list of Best Comic Covers in a given month by Paste magazine, it goes up to June 2019. It was really helping me get ideas for covers! https://www.pastemagazine.com/search?t=Best+Comic+Book+Covers&m=Galleries

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

This is great!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Ooh, yeah, those are great.

I did a redraw where I added another 7, for shots that aren't in the original that I also get a ton of use out of: https://www.deviantart.com/erinptah/art/29-Panels-That-Always-Work-748887838

carcarchu

ooooh https://twitter.com/cathygjohn/status/1216093817734139904?s=20

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/ClipStudioTips/status/1217058241613651969

renieplayerone

This may have been shared before but i am a HUGE fan of SenshiStock. Their references are so good and ive used their stock photos for a ton of studies and practice too https://twitter.com/SenshiStock

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/celesse/status/1219674655663042561

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/dankelby/status/1220254171049418752

mariah (rainy day dreams)

https://kingofooo.tumblr.com/post/161105648449/by-storyboard-supervisor-erik-fountain-a-few

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

https://twitter.com/ImRachelBradley/status/1216042005698174977?s=19

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/cyanparade/status/1229450046480867328

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@Feather J. Fern This is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEvMHRgPdyk

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@Javi An oldie I still find useful for learning how to draw people: https://archive.org/details/andrew-loomis-drawing-the-head-hands/mode/2up

Nutty (Court of Roses)

https://twitter.com/Lowtwait/status/1232479451721502725

Artem Ficta (Ring Spell)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlh4PO-ISCA

video that looks into this current humble bundle pack

looks kind of interesting

doomedfrgarden

I'm not sure if Borodante's Over-Paint series has been posted here (I didn't see it, but I don't have my glasses so I can't promise a thorough search), but his digital painting tips have been incredibly helpful and inspiring to me, so I hope it helps someone else here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDKgohjbwY8&list=PL26-CxnLWOfD_h42yjpO44dPAo3-pijgb&index=23

Feather J. Fern

Found something that explains Bleed for comics. https://makingcomics.spiltink.org/pgtemplates/

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

A soft-shading demo I made for@Feather J. Fern & @Artem Ficta (Ring Spell) Sorry this took so long to complete! https://youtu.be/Cyc9EVissw0

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/hanari0716/status/931463182354227201

Mei

For people like me who mess up their bleeds and have to fix them in post, I had this lying in my bookmarks! https://twitter.com/TheDamnThinGuy/status/1190321427314032646?s=20

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There are lots of guides to tangents, and here is one I like a lot! http://curiousoldlibrary.blogspot.com/2011/10/schweizer-guide-to-spotting-tangents.html

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/Sasquatchiix/status/1236987090874667008 This is a visual novel zine but section 2 on resources actually has a lot of cross-over in terms of usability for comic creators, check it out if you feel like testing out some new tools! Update - I read through the articles now and I actually really recommend checking them out too for advice when it comes to story-writing and how to lay it all out(edited)

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

Want to share this with you all! https://creatureartteacher.com/product/fundamentals-of-animation/?fbclid=IwAR0ahSOtdTBPmi0cHQlBpyMK7RveLZXptqcLrFX559KQMOkp-oLjGG9JA_0 Fundamentals of Animation Course Aron Blaise a big disney animator, has an animation Course that take you through the princibles of animation. This course is free for a limited time if you want to learn about animation!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Really cool video I found about pricing your commissions: https://youtu.be/pN4P82Y_3k0

carcarchu

a handy tool for those who work in clip https://twitter.com/2TooToo2/status/1243101802435727360

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm not sure if this is the right channel, but I'm going around shouting about how Adobe users can get two months free because of the pandemic this morning. Here's an article about how to do it! https://www.creativebloq.com/news/adobe-payment-holiday?fbclid=IwAR108UH-2fQfvQzyc2STIHZh9H7LOzr1xvOoLPM_7pylHNoQ9isvMDT4wRw

I also made a tweet for easy sharing if you don't want to type your own. https://twitter.com/RainyDayMariah/status/1243573425697742848?s=20

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

https://twitter.com/metalsorcery/status/1247930202073829377?s=19 This is a survey to answer for webcomic creators to get their work featured in this newsletter! Open to every one!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@Miranda (Into the Swell) This one's pretty good: https://www.deviantart.com/theinkyway/art/Manga-Studio-5-Clip-Studio-Paint-Brush-Pack-619455926

carcarchu

@Miranda (Into the Swell) this is my ultimate fave http://fav.me/d7s799d

carcarchu

this is handy reference image account that only posts pictures of suits and mundane things https://twitter.com/madarameBK

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Follow Art of Webcomics (on Twitter) which help independent creators host a site and share your page updates: https://series.artofwebcomics.com/(edited)

carcarchu

https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1725189 a handy sfx brush for clip studio paint that can help save some time with your process (it's got various effects built in the brush itself so you don't have to have several stroke layers to achieve the effect) it costs 2 dollars

SaltySalmonella

I made an SFX (sound effect) booklet for comic artists who are having difficulty visualizing sounds for their comics. It's free to download on Gumroad! https://gumroad.com/SaltySalmonella#VOZQM

Elliot

https://twitter.com/nicparris/status/1253710231781036043

CoppertheCarutor

I'm not sure if this goes in writing or art resources because it's art based, but the focus is on using colors to aid the story, but I thought this was a pretty neat video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXgFcNUWqX0&feature=emb_logo

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I was looking up some moonlight tutorials for an illustration last night. Figured I'd share~ https://tips.clip-studio.com/en-us/articles/1684

https://www.deviantart.com/ryky/art/MOON-easy-tutorial-399161176

carcarchu

https://youtu.be/LokpJy7KHpE Shilin talks about her thought processes when laying out her comic panels

carcarchu

some free flower assets for clip https://assets.clip-studio.com/ko-kr/search?user=miyage3&order=new

carcarchu

Reimena Yee did an interesting thread on the visual language used in comics https://twitter.com/reimenayee/status/1263755464853995521(edited)

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

yess I was hoping someone would put that up here!!! such a good resource

that reminded me of the 22 panels that always work, something I've been trying to utilize more when I get stuck working: https://cloudfour.com/thinks/22-panels-that-always-work-wally-woods-legendary-productivity-hack/

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

It's so reliable, last year I was able to recreate the whole thing using only pre-existing panels from Leif & Thorn. (Then added another row because there were a few other shots I keep coming back to...) https://leifandthorn.com/comic/erin-ptahs-29-panels-that-always-work/

(Note, there's a horizontal scrollbar under the image, since I uploaded the big version.)

DaeofthePast

found this tutorial/tips on drawing scars that I found useful https://jetfeather.tumblr.com/post/163383759536/i-have-a-hard-time-drawing-scars-how-do-you-do

carcarchu

For those who suffer from pain while drawing: https://twitter.com/lost_paw/status/1271540123688210433

Evil_Chippy (My Hero!)

https://twitter.com/Darchala/status/1272257378881175552?s=20

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§ Here's the brush pack. The one I used is called "Pensona": https://www.deviantart.com/theinkyway/art/Manga-Studio-5-Clip-Studio-Paint-Brush-Pack-619455926

carcarchu

How to draw a lot of books https://twitter.com/yoshida_seiji/status/1200432951671939073

carcarchu

Mentorship directory for this interested in that kind of thing https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vfcr_F0utixw7D-rsbUoId1kwU2Ee_c_jXy2r5df-Jc/edit?usp=sharing

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

https://www.lackadaisy.com/exhibit.php?exhibitid=333 A fun tutorial on drawing expressions

carcarchu

A really comprehensive look into the panel border tool in clip https://professorfaf.tumblr.com/post/178927411355/comic-paneling-tools-in-clip-studio-paint Great for beginners but even if you're already acquainted with them it's helpful for finding out things you may not have even realized

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED289uthfNQ&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR1ka0j6gwtFcj5aXS8wIj-zpgwaYiI2ncP-g4Tn6hL0h4VFa-rKn6MM_1Q this is my old illustration instructor who did a tutorial on watercolour if anyone was interested in the medium! her stuff is so vibrant and solid, and i was so happy to have her as my old prof!

CoppertheCarutor

Light bounce! https://twitter.com/KikiDoodleTweet/status/1276565894051753984?s=19

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/Ghadaaax/status/1277158331761807360 helpful tips!

cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)

Colorist K Michael Russell has been streaming nightly as he colors pages from comics he's working on, while giving tips and insight into his thought process: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCps08eOJfFRm00TE5LStIIg

carcarchu

Advice on how to utilize speedlines https://youtu.be/Y_3Rbjn_0r0

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I just have to plug this amazing program here: https://affinity.serif.com/en-gb/publisher/ It's basically a replacement program for Adobe inDesign, but waaay cheaper. If you're like me and have sworn off Adobe, I highly recommend it. I've been messing with it all day to begin setting up my first volume for print, and I love it so far, especially after trying other budget publishing softwares. Can't recommend it enough.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hii! https://www.dropbox.com/sh/m8yv10gevqv2x5s/AACVoWTvK-B7qB1yRGUZadB5a?dl=0 Here is a little gallery of fat bodies!

carcarchu

world building tool thing https://www.worldanvil.com/artist i haven't tried it out yet but it looks interesting!

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/soteikat/status/1285036231592558592 takie made some free to use comic resources!

carcarchu

https://twitter.com/aeipathea/status/1285048061518061569

carcarchu

it is a website that shares dimensions for things. Helpful for referencing proportions https://www.dimensions.com/(edited)

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I don't necessarily agreed with everything they said, but it's still a good video, and I definitely agree with many of the points they brought up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZQKeHnKK90

Especically the "stop drawing _" advice

I dealt with that a lot in school

#ctparchive

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unpopularly-opinionated · 5 years

Text

RE: My post earlier about the Ooblets Epic Games Exclusive backlash.

I’m not going to show the Twitter user, if you follow the indie game development scene on Twitter it’s likely you’ll recognize this tweet, either way that’s not who I am. The Ooblet’s account on the other hand is fair-game since it’s basically a product placement.

I feel it needs reiterating how utterly dense this kind of tweet is, and how completely skewed the narrative for this issue has gotten, so let me reiterate in obnoxiously large and emboldened font to try and get the point across:

THE GAMING COMMUNITY IS NOT TOXIC

“Honesty” and “transparency” are all well and good, but unless you’re honestly trying to drive away your own community, perhaps you should try being a little less honest and a little less transparent. No one (or I guess no one but this guy and the few who agree with him) is going to thank you for honestly throwing them under the proverbial bus after they’ve spent months, if not years, supporting your project; your dream.

I’ve heard from others that “this is just how they write” and “it’s meant to be funny”, and to an extent, I can understand that. But let me just include some screenshots from the post in question to reiterate my point, because I feel like my previous post didn’t quite get the point across:

(Context: What the Epic Games Exclusivity Deal means for you, the fan and/or financial backer of Ooblets).

I get that the Fortnite bit is the joke, ha ha, Fortnite used to be wildly popular, I get it, good meme. What isn’t the joke, and what was part of why people got upset was the first bit, specifically the “download the Epic Games Launcher and make an Epic Games account” bit, that bit.

Now, I personally have no qualms about having the Epic Games Launcher on my PC. I have long since looked beyond the ‘scandal’ of tech companies saving and selling my data to distant lands to be used for nefarious moneymaking schemes. Is it bad? Sure, maybe. Would I prevent it had I the chance? Of course. Do I have that chance? Not a chance in the world, so I decide to live with it.

That said, many others have not reached that point of fuck it, and understandably so. I hit that point because of my negative outlook on society as a whole but, praise be, there are in fact still some optimists out there who look at these shitty corporate tactics and say no to them, and good on them for that.

That is what I would say is the bulk of the primary issues people have with the Epic Games Store. The missing features bits aren’t terribly important, as even this post says, if you have a social life on Steam, then use Steam. The EGS does not need to be your do-all replacement.

This is where the post should have stopped. Here and now, had this post ended, any and all issues with this decision would have been but a whisper in the wind. As I said in my previous post, yes they undoubtedly would have received plenty of critical, and non-critical backlash for the decision regardless, but ending the post here would’ve 100% put the developers on the right side in this situation and I’d be right up there agreeing with that tweet.

(Context: Are you angry at Epic and/or us for this decision?)

Referring to earlier when I said that playful tone and humour are all fine and dandy, I understand that this is probably meant to sound playful and humourous, but it comes across as largely self-important and ignorant, and the bits that follow do in no way dissuade from that appearance.

While my response to this complaint was similar to their own, in that you should just use Steam for the features that the Epic Games Store lacks, they go on to essentially say that this is just baby EGS and that Steam used to be just like it and look at it now.

While they aren’t technically wrong, from a development point of view, the big thing they need to understand is how web standards have dramatically changed since 2003 when the Steam store launched. Launching a store, of any variety, without a shopping cart is a big no-no.

As far as missing features go, that’s not like missing a friends list or a IM feature, that’s missing a crucial part of a web-based storefront. Imagine going to a store and only be allowed to purchase one thing at a time, that would be ridiculous.

Their response to this was as corporate as any triple-A publisher, or really any corporation at all, from any industry. Just a complete disconnect from society that frankly is unwarranted from what is quite literally a two person operation. Not to mention, their response is quite literally what every parent warns their kids about at a young age. “But mooooooooooooom, everyone is doing it!!!!” Yes sweetie, but if everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to?

Apparently, yes.

And not to discount the idea of making money, by all means make money, but let me put it this way, had they left this post exactly where I said they should have previously, all of the blame would be at Epic’s feet. Because at the end of the day, having your game be exclusive to one service does not make you money, it makes them money. So this whole “everyone is doing it” schtick doesn’t fly when coming from the developers. Had this been a post by Epic (and frankly with all the shilling I could be convinced it was from them) then this argument might have made just a tiny bit more sense.

Underlined in yellow are the jokes; the “playful” and “humourous” attitude I’ve heard so much about. Underlined in red however, are what the developers are actually genuinely saying with complete and utter seriousness.

“There are worse things in the world to be upset about.” I kid you not, that’s their argument.

Now, all of that reiterated, to get to the actual point of this post (wish Tumblr let you do multiple “Keep Reading” lines but I digress), the article linked in the tweet here is about the previous “non-critical” backlash I mentioned they’d receive, though multiplied exponentially by their horrendous blog post, and further community responses to said blog post.

I’d like to refer to a completely unrelated post I made quite a while ago that really needs to spread like wildfire if you ask me:

RECEIVING INSULTS, UNCRITICAL FEEDBACK, AND/OR DEATH THREATS DOES NOT INVALIDATE THE CRITICAL FEEDBACK NOR THE ISSUE AT HAND.

I am by no means wiping away death threats or mean words as things to scoff at, by all means take them as seriously as you will, but under no circumstances should 20+ people telling you to kill yourself invalidate the hundreds of fans and financial backers who are upset with your recent financial decision, or your response to criticisms to those decisions.

This happens time and time and time again. Someone of note does something bad, for one reason or another, and instead of responding to the completely warranted and justified criticism and feedback they instead play up the 15+ people who IM’d them to drink bleach and throw it up as “an example of the ever present toxic gaming community”.

More or less, the substance to this article is their “apology”, and I use that term very loosely but I’ll get to that, to the community at large for the recent events. The post summarizes the issue from their (biased) perspective, posts some screenshots of the colourful responses they’ve received, the usual woe-is-me schtick.

I’d like to highlight a few bits from it to further exemplify the continued mindset of these people:

I have given the full context to this next statement with these screenshots so that I can now take parts of these statements out of their context to, at least to my belief, succinctly identify the mindset of these folks:

“I understand the relationship people think they might be owed when they exchanged money for goods or services, but...we’ve never actually sold them anything and don’t owe them anything at all.”

I don’t want to get off-topic any more than necessary, but this, this right here is why fundraisers, Kickstarters, GoFundMes, Patreon subscriptions, or any other form of crowdsourcing platforms need to be handled with extreme care. I hesitate to say regulated legally, but I am by no means opposed to that idea.

I want to express this carefully and plainly: LEGALLY, yes they are absolutely right that they do not owe anyone anything. At least to my knowledge, they didn’t have a formal Kickstarter, their financial backing came primarily from whatever it is they do for a living AND the support of their Patreon backers.

And while I do not feel that it needs addressing, for the sake of consistency I will address it: MORALLY they owe the game to anyone who financially supported them with the express purpose of developing the game.

“We definitely owe all of you who supported us, but also fuck off you entitled cunts because we don’t owe you shit.”

When in the face of well-deserved criticism, deflect deflect deflect. As if a broken record, I’d like to again emphasize that yes, legally they owe no one anything. Morally, they do. Legally, they don’t. Morally, yes. Legally, no.

This, in essence, is a response to the majority of people who are like me, who aren’t screaming vitriolic personable attacks, telling them to drink bleach, long jog off a short pier, the works. Essentially: “If you aren’t with us, then you’re against us.”

Because apparently pointing out your blatant mischaracterisation of the gaming community, your outrageously awful personal relations skills, and most especially your morally bankrupt understanding of the relationship between you and the people financially supporting your passion project means we are, by their logic, on a level equivalent in nature to the 10+ people telling them to drink bleach.

Fixed for typos:

Remember how I said this was an “apology” in the loosest form, well what I was referring to was how in the beginning during their (totally unbiased) summary of the events, they more or less said “Sorry you didn’t respond the way we wanted you to.” Beyond that, yeah, it’s not an apology.

And why would we expect one? Nothing they have spat out in the face of their fans so far has even a hint of self-realization or self-reflection in it. Even their acknowledgement of their (horrendously under exaggerated) bad PR skills comes across as a hollow acknowledgement, if it can even be referred to as an acknowledgement at all, because if you truly truly acknowledged it, then this post wouldn’t exist.

As to this anti-Semitic fabrication making the rounds, I have not seen it so I will take their word for it that they did not make one, especially since I have seen fabricated evidence involving Discord messages rearranged out of order. What I feel needs addressing specifically in this chunk though is his reference to “my messages taken out of context to insinuate I don’t care about our patrons/fans”, because if you’ve seen my previous post then you’ll know no amount of context makes this statement look good:

Sure, it’s a true statement of fact now that they have Epic’s money, but it’s fairly obvious that it reads “We have Epic’s money now, we don’t need you anymore.” I’m sure they didn’t mean that, but that when combined with their other statements regarding how they don’t owe their patrons anything, what they are saying is clear as day.

But hey, credit where credit is due, at least with this we can agree:

But of course, as these people are now infamously known for not ending their posts where they reasonably should...

Now I know how much money goodwill, faith, and morals make, and again I would fully expect this kind of response from the likes of EA, Ubisoft, Bethesda, or fuck even Amazon or Facebook to show that corporate greed has no industry bounds, but this is a two person team whose passion project is to make this game which is being financially supported by loyal fans and future customers.

And that’s just it, that is the mind-boggling part to me, that this is all just the self-important, mischaracterising, morally bankrupt, and childishly ignorant ramblings of a small little husband and wife duo.

In summary...

As was said in the blog post, I’m sure that looking from the outside in we don’t get to see the full scope of the vitriolic comments they’re receiving, so to that I give them credit, and the most sincerest of apologies. I’ve received a few death threats and vitriolic hate-filed messages in my time on the internet, and while personally I am unphase by them, I can fully understand that it can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and self-confidence, especially when it comes in relation to your passion project. I am sorry.

But unwarranted, hate-filled, vitriolic, suicide-baiting messages do not invalid those of us criticizing you for the things that you did do, the words that you did say, and the actions that you did take. I mentioned this in my previous post, but as it stands, the centerpiece to this issue isn’t even about the Epic Exclusivity Deal anymore, it’s about you. You and your treatment, of not just the community at large (for which, might I add, is your primary customer base), but of your treatment towards your loyal fans and financial supporters along the way.

You, for whatever reason, act as most of us have come to expect a soulless and faceless triple-A publisher would, when in fact you are just a two person team with public faces. You’re taking the shots that the likes of EA, Activision, or Bethesda would and have taken, but you’re forgetting that it is above and beyond easier to find you then it is to find them.

All we, but more importantly your fans want from you is for you to make the best game that we all know you’re capable of. And for those who supported you this far along the way to be given even an ounce of respect, despite you not needing their support anymore.

#long post #seriously don't click keep reading unless you really want to read this #it's stupid long #ooblets #indie games #indie developers #video game development #random rant

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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1015.

5k Survey LXIX

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? >> I don’t have policies for activities I don’t participate in in the first place.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)? >> I don’t know what else falls into the category of “epic movie”, so... can’t really answer. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: Monkees People say we: But we're too busy: The time to hesitate is: now You're too: physical It's a nice day to: start again 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? >> Only in the context of being intoxicated (and that one botched suicide attempt). 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? >> Maybe a long time ago.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? >> I don’t download much of anything, really. Streaming has become my default mode of consumption. 3508. What is it with people? >> ??? 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? >> I can assure you that I do not. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Animal(plural): Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass! Could be better? Let's try again. Adjective: Noun (plural): Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? >> I have no idea what this means. 3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? What did it take then? What does it take now? >> Honestly, I have no recollection of excitement experiences as a child. I do know that excitement is difficult for me nowadays because 1) I’m still pretty emotionally blunted, particularly for positive emotions and 2) I automatically attribute all physical feelings that could suggest excitement to anxiety instead (because I’m still learning the difference). 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? >> This seems like a personal rant based on your own experiences and I have no dog in this fight, dude. I think of penmanship like art -- script writing is an art form and being adept at it can lead to some pretty results. Just don’t use it if you don’t care for it. Also, I’m pretty sure very few (public) schools care about cursive writing in this era, lmao, so this is also an outdated rant. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? >> Whatever. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? >> Yeah, I saw “Pirates” and “Wenches” once. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen others but I can’t remember what they were now. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? >> Now this is a question block I can actually answer. I did see Drumline, but I was 13 at the time so I have no real recollection of my feelings about it. The Hot Chick? >> Nope. Maid in Manhattan? >> Nope. Star Trek: Nemesis? >> Nope. About Schmidt? >> Nope. Okay, maybe I can’t answer this question block after all. What are most of these movies...? Evelyn? >> --- The Guys? >> --- Intacto? >> --- The Jimmy Show? >> ---

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? >> I did see this, but I don’t remember much of it either because it was at least half a decade ago. I do assume I enjoyed it. Gangs of New York? >> --- Two Weeks Notice? >> --- The Wild Thornberrys Movie? >> --- Smokers Only? >> --- Treasure Planet? >> --- The Santa Clause 2? >> --- 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." >> ---

3520. What is: insanity? normal? farenheit? 3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: >> I’d really rather not attempt that. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? >> Oh, I don’t know. This is a concept that can get real thorny real fast. 3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? >> I don’t know anything about the justifications behind public-school curricula, dude. 3524. Name a band you sort of like: Dream Theater. You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: >> It’s not a really stupid question, first of all, because it’s a conversation starter as opposed to a straightforward inquiry. I’d assume he’s excited that someone else seems to be a fan of a band he likes, and is opening the floor to talking about it. Which is great! Let’s talk about prog metal! Now, on the other hand, if the tone of “hey, you like Dream Theater?” is skeptical, like he’s assuming I’m just blithely wearing the shirt without actually liking the band or whatever, then I’d probably just give him a simple “yep” and see what happened after that. I’m not going to immediately be sarcastic or “witty” until I am positive about what kind of interaction is happening. 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? >> It stimulates my anxiety drive, is what it does. 3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? >> I assume not. 3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? >> Me. 3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? >> No, I’ve used it because the close quarters of the other stalls wig me out sometimes. Or I’ve used it because the other ones were disaster zones. Or I’ve used it because I was also getting changed in the stall, or something, and needed the room. in the parking lot? >> You need a whole placard (or handicapped license plate) for those, so there are obvious rules. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? Do you answer yourself back? >> No, I talk to the Inworlders, not “myself”. 3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? >> Er... “I”? 3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? >> --- 3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? >> I think that person’s an out-and-out bona-fide bigot, obviously? What the fuck else am I going to think (besides “I have to leave immediately”)??? 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? >> Yes. 3535. What determines whether a person will be: intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? What is groupthink? >> ??? 3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? >> No. 3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? fear? shame? 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? Why do you respond that way? >> I don’t have an eight-year-old brother and I don’t know anything about how I would respond in a sibling-dynamic situation because I’ve never been in one. 3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell? >> --- 3541. are you usually carefree? >> No. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? >> This is an odd comparison to make. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? >> No. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? >> It depends on what kind of situation I’m in and what kind of day I’m having. And who the others are. And where we are. Context, people. Details. Please. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment? >> No. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? >> Sometimes. If I’m doing something I hate or that triggers me, then I tend to be a lot more hurried. 3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? >> I wouldn’t do anything on a dare. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? >> Er... 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? >> No. 3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? >> No, but I was with someone that did. We had to scrounge for change in her car so we could buy enough gas to get us the rest of the way home, lol.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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802

Was your life better or worse or the same five years ago? A lot better. 2015 was the year of my grandfather dying, the slow death of a relationship, and me facing the massive pressure that came with taking college entrance exams. It wasn’t my favorite year. 2020 isn’t a lot better by any means, but it still hasn’t given me the same level of emotional turmoil so that’s good enough for me. Would you rather visit NYC, LA, or Chicago? Chicago. It’s been my dream city for a while, thanks to CM Punk and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Have you ever been to Chicago? I haven’t. Would you ever want to live in a big city? I do want to live in a big city; I want to end up living somewhere busy and where there’s lots of city noise, construction noise, trains, cars, etc. Considering I’ve always lived in gated villages, I’ve grown quite tired of how quiet and monotonous it can be here. Does your first crush know they were your first crush? Nah. We’ve also grown apart in the last decade so there’ll never be an appropriate time to raise it with her anymore. It’s just better off being a secret kept with me.

What color is your favorite laundry basket? I don’t have a favorite; the one I mainly use is brown. How old were you when you got your first smartphone? 17...I was a late bloomer lol. I broke so many phones before that so I understood my parents’ apprehension in getting me a smartphone. Before I had my own, Athenna would typically lend me her old 4S, back when she was still nice to me, and us. What is your favorite app on your phone? These days my favorite is Reddit as all other social media have been a little stressful to stay in. Reddit at least gives me a mix of everything, from the news, to funny content, to trivia, to interesting AskReddits, etc. What is the background on your phone? A shot of Beyoncé and Jay-Z on tour is my lock screen and Hayley Williams is my home screen. What is your favorite thing to do in the swimming pool? Just float around, lol. I don’t move a lot in swimming pools because I don’t like how chlorine-y/slimy most of them feel. I prefer to be at the beach. Do you have a swimming pool? No. What is the biggest city you've lived in (if you want to answer)? Manila. Do you own an American flag shirt? I don’t think so. I’m so not interested in one. Did you get your personality from your mom or your dad, or neither? I think it’s a mix of both. I got my shyness from my dad, but I can also be tense and uptight like my mom. Will you be eating bbq chicken this July 4th? I don’t care for that day. Would you rather wear red, white, or blue? I’d go with red, I find that it suits me best out of these three. Have you ever lit fireworks in your backyard? Not in the backyard but on the road outside of our house. It was New Year’s Eve and no one was driving that night anyway, so it was safe to put fireworks out on the street. Have you made many stupid decisions/mistakes? Of course. What does your middle name rhyme with? Carousel. Are there any redheads in your family? Nope. Who do you know who is allergic to nuts? Nah, just people from movies and shows I’ve watched hahaha. What is your favorite type of tree? I don’t really have a favorite tree. Are you superstitious? I’m just a tad bit neurotic about one superstition but otherwise I don’t believe in any other. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. When was the last time you drank tea? I think it was a few months ago when we were served free hot tea at North Park. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Just once, for layout class. Our class decided on a font that I didn’t have, so I had to get it from the internet.

Do you have photoshop? No. I have Indesign, though. What type of phone do you have? iPhone 8. What is one interesting fact about you? I had a green-blue birthmark on my right arm as an infant that never completely faded away, so I have a slight discoloration left on the same spot until now that looks black/greyish. What color are your walls? They are white. My mom gave us little say as to how we wanted our rooms to look like when they were first building them, so I had no choice even though I wanted baby blue walls. Who taught you how to drive a car? My dad taught me to drive around our village, then I also had brief lessons from a driving school when it came to driving on the highway. What is your favorite candy bar? Twix or Butterfinger. At what time of day do you feel the best? I’m on break from staying up late at the moment since I’m still recovering from my fever, but midnight beyond with my coffee and lofi music is my favorite period of the day. Are there a lot of mosquitoes where you live? Too many. Dengue is a common disease here. What does your swimsuit look like? Idk, I have several. Who is the latest great youtuber you've discovered? Haven’t really discovered anyone new lately. I’ve been on Netflix more these days, too.

Do you read the Bible regularly? Hard fucking pass on that. What color is your dresser? Brown.

Do you own any antique furniture? Welp, the aircon in my room is pretty antique hahaha it’s older than I am but still works like a charm. Other than that, all the antique furniture that I know of are in my grandma’s place, where they’ve always been. Would you ever want to live in a castle? I don’t think so. I want to live in a big place, but a castle isn’t my preferred style. What is your favorite cold drink from Starbucks? Caramel macchiatooooooo. Do you consider yourself "trendy"? Egh, only to a certain extent. I make sure I’m at least not outdated, but I also don’t feel the need to buy all the trendy things making the rounds. Name three patriotic songs you like. That is not my first or forty-eighth choice of music. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Do you like your hair better long or short? Nowadays, short. Do you like your hair better curly or straight? Wavy. Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Usually it’s Easter, no matter when the church decides it’s going to be. Have you ever had an outdoor birthday party? No, my parties have always been indoors. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? -600% chance of that happening. Do you like the way your name is spelled? Sure, I’m not complaining. I get more misspellings with it but then again it’s also commonly accepted as the feminine spelling of the name, so at least people don’t go around calling me Sir/Mr. Are you close with any of your cousins? I’m close with my first and most of my second cousins on my mom’s side. There’s some work to be done with cousins on my dad’s side, as we barely talk lol. We don’t dislike each other, we just live far from one another and have little in common to boot. Who is your favorite cousin? The eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who’s pretty much my older brother because of how close we are. Do you really think that light blonde is the best hair color? I never even thought that to begin with. Do you think that blue eyes are the prettiest? Idk, I like green ones the most.

#survey #surveys

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yourultraarchive · 4 years

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Reply to @prurientpuddlejumper on this ask:

I’m sorry you’re frustrated or if I offended you somehow, but to be frank I don’t appreciate the tone you’re using here. However, to answer you anyway:

> they def meant the links to these alleged "online generators," because I am in the same boat as anon

First of all, unless you ARE that anon, I don’t think you can say they “def” meant anything, since they never came back to clarify, and I did try my best to answer them the first time, and I seemed to have helped since they didn’t come back to report any problems with my answer.

Second of all, “alleged”? That’s very rude. Just because you cannot see them on tumblr mobile, does not mean they do not exist. Plenty of other people have used them just fine, as evidenced by the many posts submitted to this blog. And as the last two people who’ve asked about mobile access before never came back with problems, I can only assume they simply went on the desktop site to use the generators instead of accusing me that it’s not accessible at all.

> post after post about how you updated the UI or whatnot with no link to the thing you updated

It was only two posts (so far anyway), and if you read them closely, you may have noticed I said I was only working on new updates, that they weren’t done, and that they aren’t out yet. And also that “the current generators are still up” so that people have a fully functional version of the generator to use, even if it’s not as pretty as the update is going to be. So no, there is no “link to the thing I updated”, because it’s not done yet. And as the point of the post was about the updates-to-come, I saw no need to promote a link to the generators that are currently available. Seeing as you want that though, I shall go correct those posts and link it, for your and future readers’ convenience.

I apologize for the misunderstanding, if I wasn’t clear enough about the updates being a work-in-progress. I was just trying to update my actual followers (of which I noticed that you are not one) that I was working on stuff, since this blog is usually pretty quiet.

> I REALLY wanna see it, and am growing increasingly frustrated about how much work you're pouring into this *thing* without giving mobile users any way to *access it*.

Again, I’m sorry this is frustrating to you, and you do bring up some legitimate feedback about the mobile accessibility. As I mentioned, I’ve answered at least two asks about this issue before, but since it’s been a few years and phones have definitely gotten more powerful I can look into developing a proper mobile version. But a lot of issues come up with making a mobile version, namely UI and responsive design (because I’d have to account for both vertical and horizontal orientation, and again I reiterate that UI design is hard), dynamic coding/image generation/data input/font importing and styling/etc., and how to save the actual generated image or at the very least the export/import save data for later use on a desktop browser. It takes a lot of work (more than most people realize, I imagine), so if you would like to help with that, let me know, otherwise you have no right to shame me for not making a mobile version, taking my time, or doing any of this.

As it is, you can actually still access the generator on mobile, just not tumblr mobile. You just have to go to a browser on your phone (there’s a reason my URL is so simple). However, as mentioned above, the template was not designed with mobile in mind, so all the fonts and effects and arrangement on the template itself just looks... not like it’s supposed to. Which, again, is part of the issue with the design, but at least you can access it on mobile, against your claims that you cannot.

Also, I mainly made this a desktop site because of how large the dimensions of the template are, in order to make sure the text is visible/legible even in the downsized preview image. Even when I view the template on my phone, I have to zoom in a lot, and with the current live version of the online generators, it would have made scrolling around to input data annoying. The PSDs, as well, would be inaccessible on mobile as far as I know (if Photoshop Mobile has improved enough to handle all the layers, masks, and effects, I’m unaware) so it was a conscious decision to make this whole thing desktop-only when I first started this blog several years ago.

> Even the "downloads" link you just shared just redirects back to this same page. Which is probably because you've hidden all the links away in "pages" which are completely invisible and inaccessible on the mobile app

It’s very much tumblr’s fault, and I really should have thought of that at first, but again, it was a conscious decision to make this a desktop site. Even if I made rebloggable/viewable posts with the links in them (which I plan to do soon, if only to satisfy mobile users like you), only the PSD download links would work (but again, not sure how well downloading PSDs work on mobile devices), as the tumblr app will still loop back to the blog, since the online generator is still one of those blog “pages”. And that is not changing for as long as I don’t have the time or money to host it on its own domain.

I can’t change the fact that tumblr mobile doesn’t automatically open blog pages in an external browser, so the only solution I can offer you is to take the extra step to copy the url and go into your mobile device’s actual internet browser, or just go to your browser and type in my URL manually.

If you actually couldn’t access the templates at all (which should not be an issue if you “REALLY wanna see it” given that not only did I offer you explanations and solutions for the tumblr app problem, but also that it IS accessible on desktop and you reasonably could have just gone on a computer) or had any other problem with them, I have made no stranger of myself and have always been open to help people. They have been polite or nice when they do talk to me, and I’ve always tried to be cordial in return. Your feedback is legitimate, and I appreciate it, but you really could have worded your implied suggestion a little better. And to be quite honest, I was offended by the rudeness of your reply, especially when you called my hard work a “*thing*”. Those asterisks imply a very negative tone, in case you weren’t aware.

I get the impression that you think that your demand will be fulfilled right away if you make enough fuss about it, but I’m not going to be manipulated or guilt-tripped because you feel bad. Maybe you don’t mean it that way, but you can “grow increasingly frustrated” all you want, because not only am I working on this for free, on my free time, and by myself, but I am also not doing this for you. You’re right that I am pouring a lot of work into this, as much work as any fan artist or fanfiction writer will put into their own works, and I’m very proud of it (both as it is now and what it will be in the future) and I have fun working on it, but this is not my job. And you’re not paying for a service.

I’m not working for anyone, and I have no reason to have made more than I originally did--originally I only made the student template PSDs for some friends, and the generator (which seems to be my most popular template, even though my original focus was on the PSDs) only came about because one of my friends didn’t have Photoshop. And I wasn’t even going to release either of them to the public, but I did, and the villain ones came over a year later because of this blog and the people who follow it. No one asked for a user interface update (in fact, more people have asked for a pro hero template), but I’m doing it anyway because I can and I want to. That’s all this boils down to. Also my free time (if you hadn’t noticed, everything on my blog runs on a queue, and when I do queue stuff it’s usually like 3am or so--including right now... it’s currently 5am actually) and motivation (I’m well aware of how few people actually use the templates compared to how many people follow and reblog the posts, and honestly it’s a little discouraging). So if I do make a mobile version, be aware that it won’t be coming out for a very long time. (Also, I think you’re the only one in several years who has complained about it, and you are literally 1 in... what, 3000+ people? Judging by the number of notes on the original post I made when I started the blog and my current number of followers. And again, you’re not even one of them. So to be honest, I’m really not motivated to work on this quickly.)

If you want it faster? Being nice when you show your interest helps, it’s how I got encouraged to make the villain templates. Though I never asked for much other than patience. Or at the very least, the respect any fandom content creator deserves--I may not be cranking out fanart daily or new chapters of a fanfiction weekly or anything, but I am still providing the fandom with something they can enjoy at no cost. And like reviews on fics or comments on art, many people have expressed that they’re grateful the templates and generators exist at all, unlike you, which is really the reason this blog continues to exist and the generators/templates to be updated with new and improved features. I could have just left my original template generator up there and abandoned it, but I know how it feels to find out a fanart you loved years ago was deleted or a really good fanfic was discontinued. So I’ll continue to work on it, and yes I’ll put mobile compatibility for the generators on my to-do list, but I’ll do it at my own pace.

Also I’m not making money off of this, but hey, if you wanna give me incentive that way, hop into my DMs or something and we’ll talk, but I’ve never asked for donations or anything and I don’t plan to. The generators and templates are free for use, and most of that is because of tumblr, which gave it a platform and a home. If I hosted it on its own domain, I’d need a means to pay for that, and I’m personally not invested enough to do that when tumblr is free and works well enough.

If you or anyone else wants to help change that, come talk to me, the ask box is always open.

Otherwise, please visit this blog page on a desktop browser or at the very least something that isn’t just the tumblr mobile app, because nothing can be done about mobile compatibility right now, and I’d hate for you to miss out on seeing the templates. Hopefully I can look forward to whatever you will create with it.

-archivist

#archivist #prurientpuddlejumper #replies #long post #blog management stuff #kinda

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itsmyusualphannie · 4 years

Text

something wrong in the village

Chapter 2/5: exodus Beta: @candanandphilnot Rating: T Warnings: None Read on ao3

Summary: Fiona Lester has a secret. Dan Howell thinks they hate each other. Dan meets an online friend and comes to realize something important about himself while juggling a changing relationship with his parents, friends, and Fiona.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

"But Mum!"

"Don't 'But Mum' me!" Dan's mum stood in front of the dining table, fists clenched on her hips like a warrior preparing to charge into battle. "You know what I said yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that!"

Dan slumped in his seat, eyebrows furrowed furiously. His arms were crossed, shoulders hunched as he scowled up at his mum. "I've been planning to go for months! You can't just stop me from going, I have plans!"

"I am not stopping you from going," she barked, "but if you keep on like this, then I will. I said you could go on Sunday and not the entire weekend!" She whirled to her husband, who was sitting demurely as he munched on toast. "Back me up!"

Dan's dad glanced up, gaze flicking between both of their set stances. He sighed. "Dan, just because it's been three weeks since your suspension doesn't mean you're not grounded. I'm sorry, but you should have thought about this before you decided to tussle with a girl. In class, no less."

Dan's mum nodded in approval, but then her eyes narrowed, so he hastily added, "Anyone, I mean. Tussled with anyone."

"Fiona isn't grounded!" Dan burst out, but he shrank back into his seat when his mum's dangerously-slitted gaze swivelled to him.

"You're not going with your friends," she said with an air of finality. "I'll take you up there Sunday morning and you can spend all day there, but you're not staying the entire weekend. That's the day when your favourite band is playing anyway. You'll be home by midnight. And that's my decision. You can either accept it or not go at all."

Dan shoved his half-eaten plate away from him with a clatter, and then he stormed to his room. His lip stung with his effort to stay silent, teeth digging into it. He threw himself down upon his bed once he got there, the surge of fury he'd been maintaining throughout that entire conversation now beginning to fade once he had a few rooms and a slammed door between him and his parents.

This annual weekend festival was the biggest music event of the year, at least for Dan. He had been looking forward to it the instant he'd left last year's festival, head whirling and heart pumping dangerously from the thrill of the drumbeats. He'd planned for months with his friends, their car ride and clothes and snacks sorted down to the last detail. Sure, they weren't all the closest of friends, but they were mates who liked the same sort of music that Dan liked, and that really all that mattered. One of them had an older sister who was going to the festival and she'd offered her car as a ride for the small group of friends, so it had all finally fallen into place.

It was all for nothing, now. Dan couldn't go with them. The comradery of the trip would be meaningless if Dan showed up on the last day of the festival. The others would have already bonded and had fun without him, and Dan doubted that he'd be seamlessly accepted into the group once he'd missed most of the action. Sure, Muse was Dan's favourite band, but they certainly weren't the only band he liked. He'd miss two full days worth of bands and singers.

It was Wednesday, and Dan had been alternating between arguing and pleading for the past week to convince his parents to let him go on Friday. He doubted it would happen now, with only one day between him and the first festival day.

Dan got up and opened his door just to slam it again. His mum's voice rose somewhere in the house, but he flipped the lock and ignored her. He crossed the room and threw himself into his seat at the desk, yanking open his laptop.

It took less than ten seconds to send a quick can't go friday, parents are fucking arses. b there sunday to his mates' group chat, and then he closed it out and resolved to ignore them until the day actually came. A small part of him whispered that maybe, just maybe, they would be glad he wasn't coming. They'd have more fun without him anyway.

Dan opened his browser. With slow fingers, he tapped in a website URL. Before he'd even gotten five characters typed, the browser auto-filled the rest. He had, perhaps, been visiting this website multiple times a day for the past few weeks. It wasn't even a porn website.

It loaded, bright colours immediately assaulting Dan's vision. He blinked away the spots that invaded his sight, mousing over the page to click on the uppermost right corner, a speech bubble that had been revealed after a few mutual messages back and forth with a certain correspondent.

The FRIEND chat function opened. A message was waiting for him, the sender 'amazingphil.' Dan let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and clicked on his chat with Phil.

Agree to disagree, read the message in a bubbly font. or! just agree. think about it: a shiba inu and corgi mix. I'd lose my mind

Dan huffed a laugh without meaning to do so. He hadn't meant to keep talking to this 'Phil,' but he'd been intrigued by the enthusiastic and carefree way the other boy talked. They'd shared many common interests and disagreed on just as many, but both provided topics with which they could converse. Some topics lasted a few days of conversation, while some only a few lines in the chat. Dan had long ago lost his resolve that this was a bot, or that he was simply doing this just to be ironic. He'd never before found it so easy to just...talk to someone.

sure, Dan typed as a response to Phil's message. ngl if i saw a shiba inu/corgi puppy i would die for it

He sent the message, then hastily added, what would the mashup name be tho, shorgi? corgi inu? coriba?

He scrolled back up their chat after sending that one, glancing over their past messages as he went. Dan thought, maybe, if he and Phil ever met, he could probably use some of these as blackmail for eternity.

What's wrong with it? read one of Phil's messages from Monday. it's just easier that way, you don't get crumbs or chocolate all over your fingers

it's HELL. biting into a kitkat without breaking it is just wrong. i don't think i can speak to you anymore

Dan snorted a laugh and shook his head, continuing to go further up through their chat history.

i killed a plant this morning :(

wtf, Dan had replied. This had been last Friday, the first day Dan had begun begging his parents to let him attend the full festival. He hadn't been in the best of moods then, either, but it had at least been better than today.

i didn't mean to! i saw a cute boy and accidentally stepped on a sunflower :((

Dan remembered his hesitation then, his long pause at the open way Phil had typed that. Maybe Phil hadn't found it that easy, maybe he had agonized over the message before sending it. Dan had no way of knowing. Not for the first time since he'd started talking to Phil, Dan had hurt with the desire to see him in person and just talk. He'd replied with a simple wow, disaster

:'( Phil had replied, and that would have been the last message on the topic, but Dan's fingers had suddenly worked faster than his brain and he'd typed disbelievingly, wait, how tf did you step on a sunflower. aren't they fucking massive or summat?

D': it was a baby sunflower!! it's even worse

you're a monster, Dan had typed. His heart had stepped up a few beats as he'd added no more looking at cute boys for you. they're all mine now

nooo that's the only good part of my terrible days, Phil had bewailed, and Dan remembered that he had laughed out of the sheer thrill of it, the casual acceptance of a stranger on the internet.

A ping! sounded from the browser and a tiny alert appeared. New messages! it declared. Scroll down to view them.

Dan scrolled down to view them.

shorgi! Phil had answered Dan's query about the hypothetical mix-breed puppy. no, shinorgi, he'd added a moment later. Even as Dan was reading them, another message popped up. Actually these probably already exist. I'm going to look them up, wiat

wiat, Dan mocked the typo, but he waited. Phil sent a picture a moment later, a beautiful golden-haired puppy with a curling tail. It had a wide smile directed at the camera, eyes bright and intelligent.

I WOULD DIE FOR HIM. WHAT A GOOD BOI, replied Dan instantly, abandoning his aesthetic use of all lowercase spelling.

SAME, Phil enthused.

Dan considered punching his computer or himself, just to get the image of the puppy away from him. Nothing that adorable should exist in this world. Humanity didn't deserve it.

i want to eat him, Phil added.

weirdo, typed Dan, but he knew what Phil meant, and wasn't that the strange thing about all of this? It had been three weeks since they'd started talking, and Dan knew what he meant.

I have to do homework now, popped up another message from Phil. send me some doggo pics to help me through these hard times.

Dan rolled his eyes, but he opened another browser and searched for cute dog pics, and he downloaded them, and he sent them to Phil.

He didn't realize he'd been smiling ever since he'd opened this chat.

~~~

Heat seared the back of Dan's neck as he weaved his way between milling, chattering groups. Music was a dull roar in the background, temporarily drowned out by the loud discussions all around him. The ground thrummed in the beat, beat, beat rhythm of the drums and the crowd's stomps in the Pit Stage.

Dan had just left the Pit Stage. Two of his friends were still there, jostled between screaming fans of The Prettyboys and doing their fair share of jostling as well, but Dan hadn't been feeling the usual buzz that came with listening to furious tunes. It had been just a little too frenzied, so Dan had simple squirmed his way from the heaving, bellowing throng, and made his way outside.

He didn't know where he was headed next. The rest of his friends were in the Dance tent, but Dan had had enough of flailing teenagers doing their best to embody their favourite dancer, so he wasn't going back after the disaster earlier.

"Sorry, sweetie," slurred a pink-haired woman as she bumped into him. Her makeup was sweating under the glare from the sun directly overhead, a more grotesque facsimile of the liquid pooling in Dan's armpits and making its way down his back. The woman disentangled herself with someone's picnic basket on the ground and left Dan, offering him a friendly parting wave and then chugging directly from the flask in her other hand.

Dan swiped ineffectually at the smear of sweat she'd left on his shirt sleeve, but then he gave up and continued on. He would go to the Main Stage, he decided. Muse would start in a little less than an hour and that's where they would be playing, so he might as well.

He'd arrived at the festival only four hours before, his mum dropping him off with a cheerful wave and a "call if your friends can't bring you back tonight!" and then a sterner "and you'd better be home by midnight," but Dan's stamina had worn down quickly. He wasn't sure if it was the lack of time spent throwing himself into every band's time on the different stages, unlike his friends, who had been here since Friday morning, or if it was the suffocating heat, or that he hadn't heard from Phil since yesterday morning. Sure, it had only been one day, but ever since they had started talking, they hadn't missed a day of communication. In any case, Dan's energy had dwindled, his feet ached, his stomach growled, and he wanted to curl up in the shadow of the nearest unused boombox and take a nap.

The grass bristled beneath his feet as he trudged toward the Main Stage. Despite the thousands of people packing it into the dirt beneath their feet, it was stubborn still. A few people had even spread blankets on the grass and were sprawled across them, sunbathing or just resting surrounded by the sparse crowd. Dan was almost jealous, as he could be doing the same if his mum had let him come Friday with the supplies he'd planned, but then, he didn't fully understand the appeal of willingly sacrificing oneself to be roasted beneath the scorching rays when a breeze, albeit a small one, could be obtained by simply walking and flapping his shirt back and forth every-so-often.

The crowds thinned as Dan walked further from the Pit Stage, but began to grow in size again as he neared the Main Stage. He was bumped into with every few steps he took, and while most people weren't as drunkenly apologetic as the previous woman, they let him sidle past.

His phone buzzed as he passed the entrance to the Main Stage. He finagled it from his pocket, wiping sweat on his jeans to swipe at the screen. It was a text from one of his friends to the group chat, asking where everyone was.

Muse in 40 mins! said the message. let's meet at the front b4 we miss good spots.

Dan didn't bother answering, slipping his phone back into his pocket instead. They would find him soon enough, probably.

It wasn't that Dan didn't want to be around his friends, it was that...well, yeah, he didn't want to be around his friends. He had an awful ache gnawing at him, the feeling that his friends were having the time of their lives and Dan was most definitely not having any time of his life. It might have just been that Dan had been looking forward to this for an entire year and the experience wasn't living up to his expectations. Perhaps it was because he hadn't watched Muse perform yet and the experience wouldn't truly begin until then.

An elbow thudded into Dan's side, interrupting his ruminations. He winced and leaned away, willing to let the person go past him and further into the stage area, but he was only jabbed again, and then once more.

"Ow," Dan finally complained, and he turned toward his assailant, and then. He stopped. He blinked. He breathed. "What are you doing here?"

Fiona scoffed at him. "Everyone in fucking England is at the festival right now, either here or in Leeds. As if I wouldn't be."

Dan recoiled, but he couldn't recoil very far. He hit the mass of bodies and came right back to his original position. "But you - " There was absolutely nothing that could have made this day any worse than it already was.

"What are you doing here?" Fiona retorted. Her hair was in a high ponytail, but it was bedraggled, falling in damp strands around her face. Moisture beaded on her forehead and upper lip.

She looked disgusting, Dan decided. "I'm in fucking England too, aren't I?" he snapped. Another biting remark was on the tip of his tongue, but a guitar sang noisily in the distance, interrupting him, and the electric twang brought him back to his surroundings and out of his focus fully directed at Fiona.

"I'm not talking to you," Dan decided. He made to turn his back on her, but the hairy chest of a burly man was right in his eye line, so he turned back toward her and crossed his arms instead. "I'm here to have fun," he announced, even though he had not had any of that all day. "You're just going to ruin it, so kindly piss off."

She looked unimpressed. "As if I want to be talking to you, Hobbit boy. I'm just waiting for my friends to get here."

Dan glared. The insult hit home, making its way right to the curls on Dan's head. "I'm waiting for my friends to get here," he said but regretted it as soon as he said it. Repeating what she said was a useless insult. He fished frantically in his mind for something with a little more bite, but Fiona beat him to it.

"You? Friends?" She laughed heartily, clutching her stomach and throwing her head back.

Dan did not look at the long, pale column of her neck. He did not look at the reddening patches of bare arm where her loose, eye-searingly bright shirt left little protection from the smouldering sun. He definitely did not look at the tiny freckles sprouting on her cheeks, prompted by the heat.

When she finished chortling, Dan pointed out, "Your laugh looks so stupid. You poke your tongue out, like this." He demonstrated grotesquely, biting down on his tongue and crossing his eyes.

Fiona just laughed again. "I do not."

She did.

Dan's phone buzzed again. He scowled at Fiona and pulled it out, accepting the escape. It was just another excited message about Muse from one of his friends, but Dan tapped languorously on his phone for a good few minutes, attempting to appear absorbed. He hoped Fiona would leave.

She didn't.

"Why are you still here?" he finally snapped up at her, shoving his phone back into his pocket with more force than it necessarily warranted.

"I literally just told you, I'm waiting for my friends. Besides, it's clearly annoying you. As if I'd go anywhere else when I could annoy you."

Dan sneered at her. She sneered right back.

They couldn't find much else to say, insults exhausted, for now, so they stood in silence, or whatever could be interpreted as silence with the distant scream of instruments and the loud babble of conversations around them. Dan's phone didn't really interest him, but he pulled it out again anyway, checking for updates about his friends' locations or how close they were from him. The closest of his mates was still a few minutes away, caught up in the straggling edges of the massive crowd centred around the Main Stage.

"You like Muse?" Fiona asked abruptly, and Dan almost jumped. He hadn't forgotten she was there, but he had expected her to respect the mutual silence.

"Yes," he said though, shortly, and opened the Tumblr app. He'd only scrolled through a few posts before he was interrupted again.

"What's your favourite album?"

Dan squinted at her. "Why the fuck do you care? What, are you going to find some way to mock me for it?"

She rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed. "I'm just trying to make conversation, jackass. I'm bored."

"So? We haven't had a conversation in like…" Dan actually had to stop and think about that, "...I dunno, four years. When we talked about how my clothes sucked and then you pantsed me."

Fiona cackled. It was a truly malicious, rolling laugh that made something squirm in Dan's gut. He took it for disgust. It couldn't be anything more. "Ah," she said. "That was funny. You were wearing Winnie the Pooh boxers, I remember. I bet you still have them."

"I don't still have them," lied Dan.

"You do," she assured him. "So what's your favourite album?"

Dan considered answering it, but his suspicions were too great to allow him to freely give away such information. "What's yours?"

"Absolution," she said easily.

Dan did some more consideration and finally, he reluctantly allowed, "Origin of Symmetry."

Fiona nodded slowly, and something hopeful began to sprout in Dan's chest, but it was stifled upon her next words. "Absolution is better."

Dan scoffed and lifted his phone again, ready to continue scrolling, but Fiona added, "But Origin of Symmetry is probably my next favourite. Good taste."

He couldn't help his suspicious glare directed at her. "You're being weird," he finally decided. She was. Their insults were at usual par, but Fiona was acting differently, somehow. Dan couldn't quite put his finger on it. The crinkles around her eyes were less prominent, maybe, or her shoulders might be less tense as she talked to him. Something small seemed to have shifted in her, and Dan wasn't quite sure whether he liked it or not.

Fiona shrugged easily. "'M not being weird," she said. "I'm just relaxed. You can't punch me in a crowd full of people, you'll get tossed out of the festival."

"Neither can you," said Dan.

She waved a flippant hand. "I wouldn’t punch your filthy face anyway, I just did my nails."

Dan couldn't help a disbelieving stare at said nails, but he saw nothing other than the usual chewed cuticles and ragged nails. He would have been truly shocked if she had. Dan had never known her to paint her nails, not once since he'd known her. Makeup didn't seem to interest her either, as Dan had seen her wearing it maybe two or three times. It would be bizarre, he thought, to see her eyelashes as any colour other than their pale golden hue.

Dan wrenched his thoughts from Fiona's eyelashes. What the fuck.

Someone else jostled Dan, squirming past him to sprawl an arm over Fiona's shoulders. He was a little shorter than Fiona, with short red-gold hair and an easy grin that matched Fiona's. "Hey my little dude!" he enthused, rubbing his knuckles over her head and knocking loose another handful of strands to dangle around her face. "Finally found you!"

Fiona shoved him off of her, but a grin had spread across her face at the assault. "Get off, Martyn. Where's Cornelia?"

"She's hauling the cooler. We got beer - " It was at this moment that the man caught sight of Dan watching them, so he hastily corrected himself to " - water, that is," and winked, as if there was literally any liquid other than alcohol or sweat at the festival.

"That's Dan," Fiona said coolly, and made no move to introduce Martyn, but that was fine because Dan already knew her older brother. One couldn't have a mortal enemy without knowing their family members, after all.

"Ah, Dan," said Martyn, and winked again.

"Stop," Fiona complained. She shoved him again. "Go help Cornelia, you nutter."

He left, shouldering his way through the crowd, and Dan barely waited until he was gone before repeating, "Friends," in the same tone that Fiona had used earlier when mocking Dan's friends.

Fiona didn't look intimidated. "Just because they're family doesn't mean they can't be friends, too."

"At least I have actual friends," said Dan, feeling like he was lying once more. This one felt bitter in his mouth, a reminder that he felt utterly alone at this concert. This brief repartee with Fiona was the most alive he had felt in hours.

A shrug. "Whatever floats your tiny little boat," she said. She stood on tiptoe to peer over the people beside her. The gesture only served to remind Dan that, while he stood securely over six feet tall, Fiona was only an inch below him. She towered over most other girls her age, tall and lanky and too clumsy for her own height. It might be considered endearing - if Dan didn’t despise her.

"Ah, there they are," she chirped, evidently catching sight of Martyn and Cornelia. She dropped back down and smirked at Dan. "See you at school tomorrow, Hobbit Howell."

Dan's voice failed him at the worst possible moment, at the time she was finally leaving. He had no witty parting remark, no snappy comeback as she ducked her way between two jostling shirtless guys. He could only watch her leave, mouth gaping uselessly as he floundered for something biting to hurl after her. Nothing came to him, so he had to just stare purposelessly as she vanished from sight.

As if they had been waiting for Dan to be free from the hold of his mortal enemy, two of Dan's friends arrived via a pack of rowdy teenagers, making their way toward Dan. One of his mates reached out and snagged his arm to haul him further inside the Main Stage. "Come on, man, we've got to get a good place before it starts!" he yelled over the growing crescendo of the crowd.

Dan cast one look back over his shoulder where Fiona had disappeared, and then he followed his mates further into the people crushing ever closer to the stage. A crash of cymbals preceded his entrance and the crowd roared a unanimous approval.

Muse was here.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phanfic au #high school #trans phil #misunderstandings

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