#I am just so happy to be creative again

[novantinuum]

Anyways, I declare this era as Steven Universe Fixation 2: More Fun, Less Bullshit

#the fandom is more peaceful finally #there's less people being noisy with takes i disagree with #my fics are going to get less traffic thus less chances of rude commenters #i am Not majorly active in any SU servers #i do Not have to deal with my ex friends #instead this is a happy and joyous time for creativity #like legit... i got seven pieces of art done in the past two weeks #and i've written over 5K words since the beginning of the year #it's been so nice to reconnect with old stories #and to start dreaming up new one-shots #i just feel like sometimes i need to grit my teeth and go 'it WILL be different this time' #bc there's nothing i'd hate more than to drag myself into the same patterns and let the same things bother me again #so nope! #we're going to be Better than that #we're going to block when things mildly annoy me #we're going to stop looking at youtube comments #we're going to stop looking through the tags #we're going to focus on creativity instead of comparing to others #so speaketh jen #jen rambles

[starfall-isle]

Being soo patient about seeing the new g3 dolls

#I’m just. Outside of how happy I am for a fat MH doll #It’s going to be so great to have a fat body type easily available on the market. I’ve had to get so creative with my customs #Because there just aren’t options. I’ve used a couple Luisa dolls but since they’re unarticulated it’s a really extensive #Process to even get them to a stage I can start working on the custom yknow #Jacy from wild hearts crew also works but again. I can’t rely on a discontinued line forever

[crescentfool]

i think loving things is a great thing!!! yay!!!! i just got hit with happy beams!! and you get happy beams too!!!

#lizzy speaks #I AM A SO VERY EMOTIONAL LIZZY #'what happened to them?' someone asks #just minding my own business and then i stumble across really pretty art on twitter and i feel like i've fallen down a staircase again #(the art was ry0m1na and im so. oh my god they're the most video game couple ever for me i think) #i say this all the time because it's true!!!! i think its so nice when there's something that makes one happy :D #i think i need to stare at the ceiling or something i love seeing people draw things that make them happy... their happiness reaches me!!! #anyway happy thursday everyone! or friday. its probably friday for most people. great job getting through the week!! keep going!! ur awesom #im sooo ohhhhhh i wish everyone a 'i hope you can connect with creative outlets and other things that make you happy' #i am not really in a drawing mood right now but it does not change that i am happy when other people are creating :D #also i saw the trailer for p3 from gameawards... oh i want to eat those animated cutscenes they look SO SO nice i cant wait for reload! #sobbs profusely i am full of love on this thursday and needed to get it out there somewhere

[the-kipsabian]

you know its time to go to bed when the sad thoughts start rolling in

#im just living with the realization that fanfiction will always be an under appreciated art form. writing in general tbh #like visual arts will always be looked as superior cause they are bite-sized and take no time to consume and whatnot #im not saying one is more valuable than the other they are both important but from consumption pov #and then all that with where i am right now with creative stuff and its just like... #im making some of my best work ive ever done and im so happy to be writing. i feel great about it and it makes me so happy #but then again. there used to be art. that ppl actually maybe looked at and liked more. even if it is/was subpar and like. yeah #i dont know. i just feel like written works should be more appreciated. like i totally understand that they take a lot more to consume #but at the same time i feel like thats an excuse but what do i know i have too much time in my hands and i still miss stuff #anyways. yeah it just. personally makes me sad. making the stuff i love so much right now but cause its in written form its just #i mean i miss drawing. i think. i dont know. but i also love writing so SO much more #anyways this makes no sense im just sad now im gonna go to bed good night. dont know whats gonna come out of me tomorrow #night is an absolute mess on main

[asgardian--angels]

LISTEN TO THE NAKED MOLE RAP

#kim possible #i just got blasted so far into the past #YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE NAKED MOLE RAP HAS LIVED RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN SINCE LIKE 2005 #I NEVER FORGOT #i am beyond overjoyed to have the chance to experience it again #PLUS DRAKKEN'S RAP WHICH I HAD INDEED FORGOTTEN #i hope drakken's voice actor is doing well in this strike that man was a genius #when voice actors were brilliant lmao #I just... rewatching this show is making me so happy #not just for the nostalgia value either like... i miss cartoons being genuinely good and artistically creative and witty #PLUS WHO REMEMBERS THE DAYS WHERE ALL GOOD CARTOONS HAD A 'STUCK IN THE CABLE MULTIVERSE' EPISODE AMIRITE #they really do be putting drakken in situations constantly #me in 2023 unironically calling him my poor little meow meow #he was my OG fav villain #i have the right

[lokis-wager]

Given the way that things are in the video game industry rn, I'm reeeeaally glad I didn't end up going to college to get a 4-year degree in game design. Depending on how many classes I would have taken, i would be graduating either this year or next year and uh. Ooof. Not a good time for new hires rn.

#im kinda sad it took me years to get back interested in making games again #cuz im basically starting over from scratch #but i am so happy that this is just my hobby and not my job #and that I found gainful employment that isnt creative so i can spend my free time making stuff

[juspeczyk]

me planning how i'm going to put these blorbos through hell:

me when the blorbos reach hell and i actually have to write multiple chapters of angst and pain and struggle:

#piri.txt #im fighting the act 2 into act 3 transition behind dennys and brother. im LOSING #i need to go back to the drawing board and rethink all the pacing but OUGH. AUGH #every chekhovs gun is firing every bbeg is being fought every feeling is getting confessed. AND THEN THEY STILL HAVE TO FIGHT AN ELDER BRAIN #HRNGH. HGRHRUGGGHUGHHFGHHHGG!!!!!!!!!!!! #im excited to get into act 3 with this fic and im so happy to be writing again and i will feel so content and proud when its finished #but i am still just opening google docs and screaming for several hours as i struggle to move this story forward lmao. #SIGH! ah well thats the creative process as they say in the alfira dialogue #agony and ecstasy... mostly agony #anyway. thank u larian for making goty and reigniting my love for fanworks 💖

[milo-is-rambling]

Omg yesterday at my moms therapy I said how well I had been doing and feeling like I can actually handle life and my mom was immediately like “that’s because you’ve been taking your meds regularly again” and like completely brushed off any progress I had actually made and I had to be like yeah totally that’s it that’s why exactly when I haven’t taken my meds for a week straight in idk how long

#I was like yup totally that sure is why I’ve been feeling good totally #not at all that I’ve been spending time to do things I like and journal and process my feelings in healthy ways or that I am consciously #making strides towards regular person sanity #and she fucking brought up adhd meds again like FUCK OFFFFFFF HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I DONT WANT TO TAKE THEM BEFORE IT CLICKS #I. DONT. WANT. TO. TAKE. THEM. they are a tool in MY mental health toolbox bitch back off my toolbox I know you fucking live adhd meds and #won’t shut up about them but I am happy now and I don’t like my brain on adhd meds and the only reason you want me on them is because you #like me more when I’m doing stereotypically productive tasks so you’d rather have me cleaning the house and not doing the shit I love than #you would have me not taking my meds and making art and writing poetry #like god #she just doesn’t fucking get it #I cannot create when I take adhd meds. that part of my brain just like dissolves. #the way I work is that constantly I have a million projects on the back burner in my mind and when I get inspired I make one #when I take my adhd meds I can’t just pick up a fun project I don’t get those ideas I can’t write poetry I can’t make art it’s like it sever #severs the line between my creative mind and my regular mind and I have nothing in my life that I need to be THAT focused on right now #but I have my perscruption still! like if I ever need it it’s there but that’s not your fucking decision that’s mine and you need to back #off my brain because it is a delicate fucking ecosystem up there in my head and I’m not going to fuck with anything until I have to #god. sorry. went on a bit of a rant. I am just so sick of arguing over my mom wanting to control the way I medicate myself. I am an adult #and she is not inside my brain so she needs to listen when I tell her how things affect me #she takes adhd meds like twice every day and hates the feeling of not being on them but I just don’t like them and she won’t fucking drop it #okay I am getting mad about adhd meds and my mother right before I have to be in the car with her all morning i need to relax #we’re going to psychic we’re gonna have fun #we’re not going to argue about this again.

[aceofwonders]

finally getting hit with inspiration for barb boy's backstory while at work today 🙌✌️🥰

me writing it down:

#i really did it to him #i am so SAD #my mom is gonna smack me for this #i just know it #she's always saying i traumatize my characters too much #but yo i love the guilt ridden sad boys with anger issues #i can't help myself #despite the self inflicted sadness i am so HAPPY to have creative thoughts again after so long #nancy's d&d adventure #ch: xares buchanon

[daenerys-targaryen]

damn I forgot what the feeling of being left out was like during non tour albums 🤩

#leah rambles #basically I’m spiraling rn #I just wish I were more. #being happy for those who are getting noticed -> feeling bittersweet cause it’s not you #jealousy is a human emotion and I’m not ashamed to admit that I do have it sometimes #but also I’ve known this feeling since 2014 so. word. #and it’s not even about Taylor either it’s just like the fandom as a whole too #cause I’ve also felt this @ st fandom on twitter too #and I know I shouldn’t base my self image off of strangers #but get this: I always have and always will 🤪😞 #like if I were smarter or prettier or wealthier or more creative maybe I’d like.. make more friends? #phew the self loathing tonight is very strong #anyways #I once again am re thinking being on social media except tumblr. #this shit is not good for my mental health. #my fear of not being good enough is like AMPLIFIED on every other social media except here #it’s ridiculous. #anyways um. hehe. #I feel like that Tik tok of the person who said ‘watch me organize my anti psychotics’ #because I am trying to get off my mood stabilizers. and hm. I am… most certainly.. not stable atm. #okay bye I’ll stop rambling if you made it this far here is a snack and a flower 🍿🌸 #bye again.

[mishapen-dear]

i've learned how to draw from complete strangers. like just. little internet tutorials, or seeing how someone draws a nose or a jawline and copying them, or watching speedpaints on youtube and learning what the hell an overlay layer was from that. like sure i've learned a lot of my ability from a few studies and experiments, but my perspective rules? colour theory? shape language? i only knew to study and experiment with those Because of all the tutorials i've seen. the second-most given art advice (beyond "practice") is "see what your favourite artist is doing and pick out what you like about their style!" and! idk! there's something so beautiful about how we're all strangers, but there's so much community in the art community? there's so so many strangers who took time out of their own lives to make flesh clouds or anatomy guides or explain perspective rules, and I wouldn't be where i am today without them. i cannot explain how grateful i am to those people, and how happy i am that so many people fucking. share. sometimes i think about a rose drawing tutorial made by some 15 yo that i watched when i was 12. it was pretty basic im not gonna lie, but i drew roses like that for years. I still draw roses like that when i want to spent a little extra time on them. i saw some artist talking about using thin lines so they'd have to get better with their linework rather than relying on the juicy thick lines, and i copied them and can now wield linewidth like a beast (when. i want to . which is not often). i've watched so many speedpaints that render skin in so many different ways that its all boiled down to the one method i use. neck width. hair physics. hair shine or lack thereof. eyes, pupils, mouth. fucking noses and the million variations. clothes???? idk i am like 100% rambling at this point but it's so fuckin nice to look at my art and see the ways i've been shaped by the kindness of other people

#mishapen rambles #i am completely incoherent tonight and thus it is Text Wall time #i bet id be really good at writing an essay rn im so fuckin verbose #anyway this is why i LOVE it when people talk about their creative processes #do you create things? want to talk about it? PLEASE DO #there are people who will see it and will learn from it #even if youre 'not good enough' i swear 12 yo me beginning artist baby would have had no idea how to spot a single one of the mistakes #you're agonized by. again ive now surpassed the skill of that rose tutorial but i still think about it a lot and how i couldnt see any erro #it's stunning to show a non-artist a piece you're not happy with and they're just. amazed #i once drew a real Shit Pile worthy face in front of my dad and one of his work friends and they were blown away by how fast i made it #idk just hey here's a love letter to everyone who shares anything about their creative process #ilu you're doing great and are a vertebrae in the backbone of this community #this all goes for writing too but the circulated writing tricks seem to be. trendified? more often than art tips #hey fun fact you can use 'said' as many fuckin times as you want i prommy #you don't always need whatever big fancy phrase or detailed description #if it hurts to write just don't write it #you will get so much farther with two sentences than a three paragraph slog #this mishapen dear is full of too much love for the creative community and all the people who never knew her but still taught her

[iridescentis]

I cannot fully express how excited I am to write Martyn into my Life Gods AU

I haven't actually written down and posted that much about the AU yet, I definitely intend to, but it's all coming together in my head right now I am so so excited.

This AU is literally all I can think about currently and I really want to share anything I can from it, I have come up with so many animatic ideas but unfortunately I am barely an artist let alone an animator but I definitely want to start writing soon!

#spoilers tho martyn is gonna cause some chaos #i am having so much fun with this #i am so glad martyn won bc he fits right into the direction i was taking the story in #i apologise if im being annoying about this im just really inspired and it makes me really happy to be creative again #limited life

[mihai-florescu]

How many weeks into a job would it be appropriate to start wearing my wataei itabag to the office?

#i can already see myself from a stranger's perspective #taking the train between my city and the capital every day going to my creative industry job in the pretty house by the river #maybe going to premiers of films the company worked on (i stalked my supervisors on linkedin) #i always struggle with stepping more and more into becoming an adult. i feel like i havent grown since i was 18 #but i have. and then i regressed. but now im going to start going forward again #right? #i want to believe it will all work out well so badly #im afraid to talk about it too much in case i jinx it #but im really...from an outsiders view in im really happy. i dont know how ill feel until i actually start though #i am scared what if they just felt bad rejecting me. which isnt what you should think when you get a job #but it just seems too good to be true

[noxtivagus]

evening has come again huh

#🌙.vent #i'm really sorry for the vents lately but i need a way to let it out. & this. this is as far as i can go with that #i need to do better again i know i can i have to :') people waiting for me. others n me.... #last night i downloaded a game for my friend. for her. & then another friend i told her i'll reply before the day ends :< 'take your time' #she said but sob she opened up abt smth n i wna help i really do & fuck it just hurts too bcs i know the ppl around me are. struggling too #i try not to put others b4 myself if i'm struggling like rn but :< i hate the helplessness. wish i cld do smth more for you #i wish i could at least be enough to help them. for you for you whoever you are i would always be willing to make these sacrifices #i'm gna cry it's been so overwhelming lately bcs i'm filled with so much hope and despair simultaneously #what do i do? which do i choose? how do i decide? how am i supposed to do. enough. find a balance #n then other friends i haven't gotten to replying yet today bcs oh i'm too worn down right now n i hate it so much i'm sorry #& other than all the stuff i want to do for myself and for others there's also things like school n #it hurts you know? i'm very much aware i've been worrying my family lately. i can't. sleep properly. i can't bring myself to finish eating #:< n then it also gets overwhelming when i. look to better things. bcs it gen makes me v happy when. idk i feel inspired or creative or wtv #but it hurts when it's also simultaneously so overwhelming bcs it's so hard to do something with it #& thinking of good memories. how fleeting those moments were. how times have changed. but also of. of how more may come #but maybe. maybe only if i'm better. if i'm not this hollow husk of my usual self? fuck i know i'm too harsh on myself. unnecessary pressur #i'm more than it i know. but at times it's just so hard to feel better when i'm. 🥹 i really really don't want to be a disappointment. #for others n. for myself.... bcs i know as always in the future. wtf the fuck happens then. i do know that parts of me will never change. #wnvr i look into my past i'll always know that i deserved being more kind to myself. bcs i'm human too. #this empty feeling of being stuck somewhere being hope n my despair hurts v much bcs it's so contradicting & overwhelming #n i wish in these moments i cld be enough for my future self. n for those around me #i wish i was better at communicating! tell everyone i know how much i appreciate them! how much i wish they'd stay in my life #i wish i cld really just say but i'm afraid that my honesty might scare you away. so instead i hide. you probably don't feel the same nyway #crying it hurts i think past experiences have made me too used to people leaving. but i can't be vulnerable enough to be #soft enough to the extent of being so honest. i've been hurt before when i was kind n younger n naive sure but oh so innocent #struggling sad n it was so bad then that i. oh i remember how it hurt.... i refuse to let myself go through that extent of loneliness again #i wish though that. i could. revive my mind. my motivation my inspo my creativity hasn't exactly dulled but it's become more passive #am i afraid that if i really be myself then i'll be alone again? if i'm weird if i'm too honest n soft n. i don't know. #it hurts feeling like i'm stuck with being too little n too much at the same time. how do i. just be. enough. for you. for me. #it hurts i'm crying i'm sorry i'm so sorry fuck i'm so overwhelmed n lost i don't want to think right now it feels so empty n i'm tired

[domesticated-pirate]

Helping an ex with their new creative project is a strange level of self inflicted suffering

#Like I am so deeply happy that they're in a good enough space to be creative again #But at the same time #... #I'm still so fragmented and just #Heartbroken

[maddymoreau]

(ง ´͈౪`͈)ว a;lsdfsdknc AHHHHHHHHHHH I’M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW aslkda;lfkljafsfslak _(:)」∠)_ ♡!!!!!! 

#I'm so excited for the future!! Everything has been working out really well lately!!! #BEING MUSHY AJDLJSFDSLJK But after so long I’m finally at a point where I'm happy with who I am as a person (〃/∇＼〃)♡!!! #AND IT’S LEAVING ME SO EXCITED FOR THE FUTURE!!!! #I LOVE MY MUTUALS I LOVE MY LIFE AND I LOVE BEING CREATIVE!!!!! #DISCOVERING MY PASSION TOWARDS ART AGAIN AND MY LOVE FOR PEOPLE JUST ALL OF IT!!!! #I WANT TO MAKE THOSE AROUND ME FEEL AS LOVED AS THEY'VE MADE ME!!! #I just need to work on becoming more comfortable with my appearance and more opportunities will open up!! #BUT WHAT MAKES ME SO EXCITED IS I CAN ACTUALLY ENVISION IT AFTER SO LONG ♡!!!! #I CAN PICTURE GIVING NON FAMILY MEMBERS THE BIGGEST HUG WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD ABOUT MY BODY!! JUST SHOWING THEM THE FACT I LOVE THEM!! #ALK;DDJ;ADFSLKFSD;LKJ I'M A BIG OLD CRY BABY TONIGHT BUT I'M JUST SO EMOTIONAL AND HAPPY TONIGHT!!!! #MORNING MADDY CAN DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES asfaafdslk;lk #I;M going to give myself a headache crying so much sadkldklfa;lkd