#I was like yup totally that sure is why I’ve been feeling good totally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itsmarsss · 3 months

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cool. [Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(from the vault)

You start working as a babysitter for the Heffleys, but a certain someone seems to be bugging his parents to go out more often. Why?

Words: 6,164

Warnings: like one slight sexual/porn innuendo

[. . .]

"What do you mean someone to watch me?” Greg yelled, exhasperated.

Rodrick laughed out loud at the whole situation. “Wait is little Greg here getting a babysitter?”

“Yes, and she starts tomorrow night," their mom replied, matter-of-factly.

“Mom, I’m in seventh grade! I don’t need a babysitter!”

“We’d believe it if the last time we left the two of you alone you hadn’t directly disobeyed the only thing we told you not to do and thrown a party while we were gone," their dad explained.

“Wait. Mom. So I don’t have to watch him? Like ever again?”

“No but you should be ashamed of the reason why-”

“Hell yeah!”

“Rodrick-” He was already up the stairs on the way to his room. She sighed.

“Mom you can’t do this to me. Do you know how bad it'll be if the guys in my grade find out you got me a babysitter?”

“They’re not gonna find out, sweetie.” She patted his head.

“And it’s not negotiable.”

“What your dad said.”

"Dad!”

“I’m sorry, kid! But if it makes you feel better, since Rodrick will be here and we’re getting a babysitter because we can’t leave the two of you alone, she’s teeechnically his babysitter too, right?”

“It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I tried," he shrugged.

“Where are you two even going tomorrow?”

“We’re having dinner! " Susan exclaimed, excited to talk about it. "Alone, finally, because-”

“Wait couldn't she technically be Manny’s babysitter then?”

“Thank you for caring so much about what I had to say, son.” She sighed once again. “She’s not Manny’s babysitter because Manny’s gonna stay with your grandma.”

Greg huffed and made a point to be extremely loud when stumping upstairs to his room, immediately getting cornered by Rodrick.

“So… a babysitter, huh? And I thought your seventh grade couldn’t get any worse.”

“D´you think it’ll be that bad?”

“Dude they probably got you an old lady who smells like a museum whos gonna make you eat soup at like five PM and sleep at seven.”

Greg widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, worried at the thought of what his brother was making him imagine. “You think?”

“Yup. And I’m not even talking about the total humiliation it's gonna be if someone your age finds out.”

“Crap.”

“Good luck with that.” Rodrick was obviously enjoying the mere thought of the torture that was going to follow.

. . .

“A babysitter?” Rowley asked, rather loudly. Greg quickly put his hand over his best friend's mouth.

“Dude! Can you be quiet?”

“Hmmph!” Rowley tried to protest.

Greg released his hand from over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“Why do I need to be quiet?”

“Because I don’t want anybody to know!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Rowley!”

Rowley just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be embarrassed. A babysitter sounds fun! Maybe she’ll read you bedtime stories! And play board games with you!”

Greg just looked at him incredulously. “Just don’t say anything about this to anyone., okay?"

Rowley suddenly started to look really nervous. “You know I can’t lie…”

“It’s not lying! It’s just not mentioning it! No one’s gonna ask about it.”

“Okay. Fine.” He didn't seem that sure about it, but Greg knew he'd try his best.

. . .

You took in a sharp breath before knocking on the front door. It took no time for it to be sprung open, and you were greeted by a smiling Mrs. Heffley. You retributed the smile.

“Hi Mrs. Heffley!”

“Hey, sweetie! How are you?” She asked as she ushered you into the house, startling you when she closed the door behind you as you walked in.

“I’m alright! How about you guys? Your dress looks so pretty!”

“Oh my God, thank you! You know it’s been ages since I’ve worn a pretty dress to go out, you can’t trust three kids with a pretty dress, they're always gonna ruin it.”

“Oh God that must be hell,” you laughed along with her. “Where are you guys headed tonight?”

“Looking forward to having dinner in peace,” she laughed again. “Manny!” she yelled suddenly, startling you yet again.

A little boy walked in in his diapers, holding his pants up with both hands.

“Manny can you just please put on your pants?” Mr. Heffley followed the kid around, frustratedly asking him for what you assumed must have been at leat a fourth time to put his pants on, judging by the tone in his voice and the sigh that accompanied it.

“No!”

“Manny!” Ms. Heffley yelled yet again. The kid did what he was supposed to.

“Um I didn’t- is Manny gonna be staying with me tonight?”

“No! No,” she laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re taking him to my mother’s house.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” You tried to let out how relieved you were. Little kids were a whole other level of difficult, specially at Manny's age.

“Darling are you ready?” Susan asked her husband.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Greg!” she yelled again.

“What?” The boy yelled back from his room upstairs.

“Y/n’s here! Come say hi!”

“Who’s y/n?”

“Your babysitter!”

He came downstairs. Very slowly. “Mom I already-” He stopped. “You’re not an old lady!"

“Gregory! We don't say that to people! What is that about?"

“I’m sorry! I meant- Rodrick told me my babysitter was gonna be an old lady who smelled like a museum."

"Of course he did," Mr. Heffley said, under his breath.

You pretended to smell yourself. “I think I might smell more like an art gallery maybe,” you joked.

“I’m so sorry about this."

“It’s fine, Mrs. Heffley! Don’t worry about it. Now you two go have some fun, alright? Come on."

“Yeah! Okay. Right. There’s money on the table, you can order whatever you want for dinner the kids will eat whatever. Just grab the money before Rodrick comes downstairs or he's gonna pocket it. If you need anything you can call, okay? Really, anything.”

“Don’t worry about it! I promise I’ll call if anything happens! But I think we’re just gonna stay and eat some food and watch some movies, right Greg?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Please be nice, Greg. Oh and if Rodrick bothers you tell him I said he’ll be grounded if I hear he's not letting you work alright?"

“Sure thing! Thank you. Now go!” You joked, pretending to send them off.

. . .

You and Greg had both sat down on the couch in the living room.

“So. You’re not an old lady.”

“Nope.”

“Are you in high school?”

“Yes I am.”

“What grade are you in?"

“I’m a senior!”

“Oh. Rodrick’s a senior too.”

“Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen him around though.”

“Lucky.”

“Why’s that?”

“He makes my life hell!”

“Well don’t you make his life hell at least a tiny little bit?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

“That’s just your job.”

“Trust me no girls like him.”

“Whatever, Heffley. So what do you wanna do?”

“Can we play video games?”

“Depends on what you have.”

“Apocalypse of The Damned?”

“I have never heard of that in my entire life.”

“You’re gonna like it I swear!”

“Alright. But you have to bring me the money your mom left on the table, I’m gonna order us some pizza.”

“Deal!” He ran out to the kitchen, getting back with the money in no time.

. . .

“Hey I was thinking. Can my friend sleep over?” Greg asked, obviously having been preparing himself to do so for the past few minutes, while furiously hitting buttons on his controller as you scrolled through your phone, having gotten tired of playing at that point.

“Um. Is your friend gonna give me any trouble?”

“No! You can- you can trust us.”

“Is he annoying?”

He seemed to take his time to think of an answer. “A little. But he’s pretty cool.”

“Fine, I’ll ask your mom.”

You clicked on Mrs. Heffley’s contact name.

hi mrs heffley

how's the date going? im sorry to interrupt

You didn't even have the time to finish writing the next text before she was calling you. You picked it up.

“Is everything okay?” Susan asked, clearly worried.

“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine, you don't have to worry! I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, Greg wanted a friend to stay over and I just wanted to see if that’s okay with you.”

“Is it Rowley?”

“Sorry?”

“The friend, is it Rowley?”

“Is it Rowley?” You asked Greg, leaning away from the phone, to which he just nodded his head yes. “Yeah, Rowley.”

“Okay, of course he can! And don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for it.”

“Oh, that’s really nice, thank you. Now you should go back to your date, I'm so sorry to bother.”

“No worries! Are you sure everything’s fine?”

“Yes! We ordered pizza and we’re playing video games right now. Everything under control.”

“And Rodrick?”

“Uh, I haven’t really seen him honestly. He definitely hasn’t left his room though.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Bye!” You hung up.

“So?”

“Yeah, call your friend. Ask him if he has any board games we can play!”

Greg did as you said, and, in about half an hour, a little boy with a yellow shirt with a dog on it stood at the door.

“Are you Greg’s babysitter?’

“Uh yeah, I am.”

“Cool!" He looked at Greg behind you. "You told me she was old!”

“Rowley!”

“What? You did!”

You laughed at the interaction and let them do their thing, only asking them to stay by the living room so you could keep an eye on them. You sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone again as you knew the pizza should be about to get there.

The doorbell rang in no time. You stood up to pay for it, grabbing the large-size pizza and tipping the delivery guy, who didn’t look very friendly at all. You brought it in. “Hey Greg can you go call your brother?”

“Yeah!”

He ran up the stairs, and you set the box down on the dining table, Rowley sitting down. Greg came back.

“He told me to bring it to him.”

“Why?"

"He just doesn't wanna come downstairs."

"You don't have to do it.”

“What? He’s gonna beat me up for it!”

“Not with me here. I got you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Chill out.”

. . .

“Hey you little asshole? I told you to bring my pizza!” A voice exclaimed from the second floor, and Greg muffled a quiet ‘shit’.

“Hey don’t say that!” You scolded Greg for swearing as a reflex.

“Hey? Are you not listening?” Rodrick was clearly close to the kitchen now. He walked through the door. “I said get me so-” he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you.

“Who’s this?” He asked the boys.

“That’s Y/N,” Rowley said, through gulps.

"And I'm right here you know? You could just ask me who I am."

“Well who are you? And what are you doing… here?” He leaned over the wall, in a poor attempt to look cool. You had to fight yourself tas not to laugh uncontrollably at the sight.

“Well I seem to be your babysitter for the night.”

“What?”

“Did you also expect an old lady? You know, that's a really common and really hurtful babysitter stereotype, you really should think about the things you say now.”

“Wha- huh- yeah- I’ll just-” He let out a weird laugh, and walked up to the table, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and stuffing it into his mouth, seemingly to shut himself up.

“Well we’re gonna watch a movie after we’re done eating. You wanna join?”

“Oh he’s not gonna-” Greg started talking, but Rodrick quickly interrupted him, almost choking on his food as he did so.

“Yeah! Yeah! What are we uh- what are we watching?”

“Zathura.”

“What the fuck is Zathura?”

“Don’t swear in front of them!”

“Sorry.”

Greg looked at Rowley like Rodrick had just gone insane. Did he just apologize?

You laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys don’t mind, do you?”

They both slowly nodded their head no.

“Cool. As long as you don’t repeat it in front of your parents, alright? Don’t wanna get me in trouble.”

“We’re not five!"

“Well you do look like it,” Rodrick commented, and Greg stuck his tongue out at him.

. . .

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Rodrick commented, pointing at the screen.

“It’s not supposed to! It’s a kids movie about a magical board game,” you pointed out.

“Let me guess, did Rowley pick this one?”

“For your information, I did. You got a problem?”

“No.”

Rowley had, in fact, picked this one.

Greg and Rowley shared a look again. This was getting bizzarre.

The movie was over in about half an hour, and it was time for you to put Greg to sleep.

“But it’s so early!” The boy complained, and you laughed.

“I know, but you don’t have to sleep now, you just gotta go to bed! I can’t, like, force you to sleep.”

He let out an annoyed groan before agreeing and pulling Rowley with him by the wrist. “Fine.”

“I’ll be upstairs in a few!” You yelled out, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from dinner. It wasn’t really something Mrs. Heffley had explicitly asked you to do, but you had those extra minutes and wanted to get on her good side.

What you didn’t expect was to come in to find Rodrick still standing there, startling himself when you walked in.

“Uh hey!” His voice was high-pitched, clearly not expecting to see you there so soon.

“Hey.” You wordlessly walked to the sink, starting with the dishes. And then he offered to help you, which didn’t fit the image you had of him at all.

“What?”

“I said do you want some help? I can dry them.”

“Uh sure. Thanks.”

He just nodded, grabbing a cloth. “So did you put them to sleep yet?”

“Yeah they’re supposed to call me when they’re ready. Then I’m pretty much done.”

“Are you leaving like right after?” Was he… disappointed?

“Well not right after, your mom still has to pay me.”

“Right. She paying you extra for the dishes?”

“No,” you laughed, “just wanna score some points. This job’s good money, you know? But don’t tell her I said that.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You nodded, a little awkwardly. “So what’s the deal with the van?”

“What?”

“The huge white van parked right outside? I assume it’s not your mom’s.”

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t you have picked a better color?”

“What?”

“You know something other than the classic creepy white van?”

He actually laughed. “I don’t think a creep would have ‘löded diper’ written on the door.”

“Maybe you’re just trying not to look too suspicious.”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” Was he… flirting? Well, that was… an attempt.

“What, are you inviting me? You know, I was taught not to get into creepy white vans with strangers.”

“We’re not strangers!” He held his hand up for you to shake, which you did. “I’m Rodrick.”

“Y/N.”

“So. Ho'wd you end up babysitting Greg out of all people?”

“I mean, your dad posted something about it in the newspaper and my mom told me about it. Some extra money, you know?”

“And you’re sure it’s worth it? I mean he’s a big pain in the ass.”

“Aren’t all brothers?”

“I’m not.”

“Right. You’re like a dictator to him!”

“No I’m not!”

“He was scared you were gonna beat him up if he didn’t bring you pizza.”

“He’s dumb. I wasn’t gonna beat him up that badly.”

You laughed. “Well, we’re done. Thank you for the help. You can go now if you wanna.”

“You sound like a mom.”

“Oh my god! Stop trying to make me sound old! I'm some granny cinderella who turns into an old lady who smells like a museum when midnight strikes," you teased him, and he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.

"Right. He told you about that.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. To be fair, I never had a babysitter, you know? I just thought they were all old and boring.”

“Do you think I’m old and boring?” You joked.

He snorted. “No, you’re pretty.” His eyes widened, realizing what he’d just said. Way to go. “Not in that- well not that you’re not pretty, you are, but you know what I mean. You’re uh- you’re pretty compared to what I- expected?"

It was stupid, but you could feel yourself blush a little. Why was it that you always fell for the most absolute idiots? “So I’m pretty… compared to an old woman.”

“I think you should let me start over.”

“But-”

“Y/N!” You heard Greg yell from upstairs, and you left the kitchen to go see him, going up the stairs and entering his room.

“Okay, we ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes!”

“Both of you?”

“Yup.”

“Okay I’ll believe you. But your mom told me you’re on thin ice.”

Greg rolled his eyes and both boys got on the bed.

“Okay, goodnight. If you don’t sleep right away don’t make too much noise.”

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Why, did you actually like me?”

“Just a little.”

You smiled. “Well no. But I think I might next week.”

“Cool! ‘Night, Y/N!”

“‘Night!”. You closed the door behind you, and walked downstairs to wait for Mrs. and Mr. Heffley to return so you could go home.

You stopped on the hallway to send your mom a quick text saying you were fine and should be leaving in a few before making your way to the living room.

To your surprise, Rodrick hadn’t gotten back to his room. Instead, he was laying on the couch, his entire body draped over it as he scrolled through his phone. He sat right up when he saw you. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey. You not have anything to do?”

“I’m offended. But no I don’t.”

You laugh, sitting down beside him. “Okay. Well your parents must be on their way, so. Don’t have much to do either.”

“You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well a real movie.”

“Zathura’s a real movie! I like it!”

“You actually do?”

“Yes!”

“Whatever. Well an adult movie I mean.”

“Uh, an adult movie?”

“No! Not that kind!” He was blushing furiously and you found it hilarious.

“Yeah whatever. What do you have?”

You ended up settling on a Marvel movie, but you barely had the time to start it before the doorbell rang, and you had to go get the door.

“Hey Y/N! I’m sorry we took so long, we had to go get Manny.”

“That’s fine! Rodrick and I were just about to watch a movie!”

“Rodrick came downstairs?” Mr. Heffley sounded genuinely surprised.

“Well you can finish it if you want!”

“Oh, no, I really should get going. We can finish it another time.”

“Oh well. Okay.” She put Manny down and grabbed her wallet, handing you your money. “Here, with the extra from Rowley. Hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Oh they were so cool! I was surprised.”

“Oh that’s great to hear! If they haven’t traumatized you too much we’d love to have you sit them again.”

“Oh definitely! Just give me a call.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Are you driving home?”

“Oh, no, I’m actually walking. I thought we’d be done a little earlier.”

“Oh that’s not good, we can take you-”

“I can take her!” Rodrick yelled, almost falling off of the couch in his eagerness. He stood up, walking toward you. His dad looked like he was short-circuiting.

“Are you sure?” His mom asked.

“Yeah! Come on, let’s go.” He walked quickly past the front door and into the white van.

“Sure. Bye Mrs. Heffley!”

“Bye sweetie! Tell me if he bothers you too much!”

You walked towards the van, getting in on the passenger’s seat. He turned the engine on in silence. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding you, and you didn’t know why.

You cleared your throat. “So uh. Thanks for driving me.”

“Yeah it’s chill. Where do I turn?”

“Oh let me just- give me your phone.”

“What?”

“So I can put the address on the GPS?”

“Oh. Sure.” He handed it to you after unlocking it, and you did as you said.

“Turn left in 200 feet,” the disembodied voice said, and he did.

“You don’t have to uh- do these things for me. You know, drive me home, help me with the dishes. It’s nice, but I’m not gonna tell on you if you don’t.”

“I know. I uh. I want to.”

“You wanna do the dishes?”

“I wanna help you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Fine.”

You got home pretty quickly, as you didn’t live a long way from the Heffley residence, and got out of the car.

“Thank you for driving me! Goodnight.”

“Yeah!” Rodrick yelled back, and waited for you to get in to drive off. There was a smile on your lips you couldn’t shake off, and you felt stupid for it. Was the weird wannabe rock band kid really having an effect on you?

. . .

On wednesday, you got a call from Ms. Heffley again. And then on friday, and saturday, and sunday. This could not be normal, right? But it was money, so you obviously wouldn’t refuse it. So you pulled up to the Heffley residence for the fifth time on sunday, knocking on the door as usual.

Greg opened it this time, greeting you with a confused expression. “You’re here again?”

“Miss me, kid?”

“Are they going out again?”

“Apparently.”

“Mom, Y/N’s here!”

“Oh hey sweetie! Thank you for coming!”

“No problem! Where are you off to today?”

“Well we’re going bowling. Rodrick found us these pamphlets at the mall and wouldn’t stop bugging us about trying it out, so we decided to give it a go.”

“Oh he did?” That was strange.

“And you seem to have things so under control! I can’t believe we’ve been going out so much!”

“Well I’m happy to hear it. When will you be back?”

“I’d say eleven if that’s not too late for you?”

“Oh definitely not! As long as Rodrick can drive me.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem. You ready, darling?” She asked her husband, who walked by holding Manny in one arm and a huge bag in the other.

“Yeah.”

"Everything there?” Susan asked him, referring to the bag. She turned back to you. “Manny’s staying over at my mom’s for the first time today. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah!" You exclaimed, not really getting all the excitement about it. You supposed you would if you were his mom. Right now you were just happy you didn’t have to watch over him too. Little kids were always more difficult.

“Okay bye everyone!”

Greg and Rodrick were right behind you the moment you closed the door.

“Can we make pasta?’ Greg asked, and damn, the little dude must have had some sugar because he looked like he’d downed like three energy drinks at once.

“Well yeah. I make a killer pasta. Is Rowley coming today?”

“Yeah!”

“Cool.”

“Do you want help with the food?” Rodrick finally spoke up, and Greg looked at him like he was speaking Greek.

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?’ Greg couldn’t contain himself from asking him.

“What do you mean, assface?”

“Did you just offer to help with the food?”

“Yeah?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh shut it, dickhead.” You didn’t miss the nervous glance he gave you, clearly signaling something about you to Greg. And then Greg seemed to figure something out, his eyes going wide.

“Oh! Is that why you-” Rodrick looked alarmed, putting his hand against Greg’s mouth to keep him from talking, but he managed to get himself free. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get mom and dad to go out all week?”

“Hah. Don’t know what he’s talking about, pssht.” Rodrick laughed nervously.

“Uh sure. Well I’m already hungry so I’m thinking early dinner and then we can make dessert?”

“Yes!” Greg yelled.

“Okay but if we’re making the food you gotta set the table. Deal?”

Greg groaned in annoyance, but agreed. “Fine.” He went on his way, and you and Rodrick made your own way to the kitchen.

“So,” you started, as you grabbed the pasta from the cabinet. “You’ve been trying to get your parents to go out all week.”

He looked everywhere but at you. “Uh, I don’t know what the kid’s on about.”

“Well, shame. Cause I was gonna thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well the more times a week I work the more money I get right?”

“Oh right. Right. So yeah you can thank me.”

“So you were setting them up to go out. Why?”

He shrugged, trying to seem cool. “Wanted to be alone.”

“You’re not alone now. You could be in your room. Or like out with your friends or whatever.”

“I didn’t anticipate that you’d actually be cool.”

“Oh you think I’m cool?”

“Yeah.”

The water started to boil, and you threw the pasta in the pot, stirring it with a fork.

“Cool. You’re kinda cool too. You know when you’re not trying to be impressive.”

“I’m not trying to impress you!”

“I didn’t say you were trying to impress me .”

“Well I was.”

“You were.”

“Did it work?”

“Why’d you want to impress me?”

“Cause you’re cool. I wanted you to think I’m cool too.”

“Huh. Maybe I do.”

“Cool.”

“Y/N I’M DONE! I THINK ROWLEY’S HERE !” Greg’s voice came from the dining room.

“I didn’t hear the doorbell, are you sure?” You yelled back, walking past Rodrick to get the front door. Maybe you were too lost in the conversion to hear it, because the boy was standing right there when you opened it.

“Hey Y/N!” He said with a smile, greeting you with a hug, which was very on-brand for the kid.

“Hey Rowley. You alright?”

“Yeah! I brought water balloons!”

“You did?”

“Well they’re not full of water yet so they’re just balloons but yeah.”

“Cool! You should tell Greg!”

“Will you play with us?”

“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have clothes I can get wet-”

“Well that’s not a problem!” Rodrick said, and you frowned in confusion. “You can borrow mine!”

“Oh I don-”

“C’mon, Y/N, you really gonna disappoint the boy?”

“Shut up. Fine, but you’re playing too.”

“Deal.”

“Yes!” Rowley exclaimed, before taking off, presumably to go find Greg.

“Well you wanna go up to my room?” Rodrick asked, apparently having otten some confidence from out of the blue, sporting a cocky smirk.

You laughed. “You wish. Just bring me a t-shirt.”

“Yeah. Someone’s gonna be looking like the number one Loded Diper fan out there.”

“If you bring me a white shirt I will beat you up!” You yelled, and he was already on his way upstairs. You took the past out of the pot, mixing it with the sauce you’d made, which was the easiest one you could find.

Rodrick was back as soon as you set the pot down on the table, handing you a gray shirt that , of course, had ‘loded diper’ written on it in terrible handwriting.

“Thanks.” You draped the shirt over your shoulder and all of you ate in silence, apparently all stupidly hungry for some reason.

You were done pretty quickly, but made sure to get Greg and Rowley to promise to help with the dishes this time, since there were more.

“Okay! We’re gonna get changed!”

“Yeah me too!” You yelled back, making your way to the bathroom, changing into Rodrick’s gray shirt.

It didn’t hang as loose as you thought it would, and you laughed at the thought of Rodrick wearing a tight shirt for no reason. You supposed it was an old one he decided to turn into loded diper merch. Loded diper. What a stupid fucking name. You guessed it was fit.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Rodrick. “You done? These kids are little demons, they talk so much!”

You laughed, unlocking the door and grabbing your own shirt before opening it.

“Hello?” He looked wide-eyed, like his brain was malfunctioning, staring profusely at his shirt. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Fine. The shirt alright?”

“Yeah. A lot smaller than I expected. Does Rodrick Heffley wear crop tops?”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “Sometimes. That bad?”

“No.”

“Chicks dig the crop tops, you know.”

“Oh do they?”

“Don’t you?”

“I guess I’d have to see you in one to give an opinion.”

“Yeah that’s not happening any soon."

“Shame.”

“What?”

“I said let’s go.”

You barely had the time to walk into the front yard before Rodrick was hit on the face by a huge water balloon. You turned to see a terrified-looking Rowley at the other side. Rodrick gained his bearings again.

“Oh you’re in, you little shit!” He seemed way too determined on winning this, but who were you to judge?

Him and Rowley occupied themselves with each other pretty much the whole time, as you did with Greg, until you got hit rather strongly in the back. You stopped what you were doing, which was aiming your next balloon at Greg, who was right in front of you, and turned around to see Rodrick laughing at you.

“Motherfucker-” you cursed yourself mentally for swearing in front of the kids, hoping they wouldn ‘t tell on you, and launched the balloon at him at full speed, it landing on his chest.

“Hey!”

You played for about half an hour more until the sun set, and you decided it was best to get back inside. All three complained, and you laughed at the situation, because you supposed you did sort of sound like a mom when trying to convince them to get in, but they ended up listening.

“Okay what are we watching tonight?” You asked as you closed the front door behind you and dried your feet on the mat by the entrance.

“Oh can we watch a horror movie?” Greg asked.

“Nope, we know how that ends.”

“But we’ve changed!”

“It’s been less than a week!”

“People change!” Greg tried to plead, but you knew Mrs. Heffley wouldn’t like it if you caved in.

“No can do, Gregory. We can watch that Adam Sandler movie you wanted though.”

“With the little kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

You were halfway through a second movie when the boys decided it was time for dessert, and you still had a little while before the Heffleys came back, so you decided you’d all bake cupcakes.

They didn’t turn out as great as you wished they would, but also weren’t half bad. They were a little flat and maybe a little toasted on the top, but were otherwise pretty edible. You covered them with some frosting and ate them as you finished the movie.

It turned out when you were done the Heffleys still hadn’t come back, so you decided to put the boys to sleep then. You came back to Ridrick looking at you at the other end of the hallway.

“Hey,” you said, not expecting him to be there.

You stood there in silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and started talking.

“Um do you wanna hang out? ‘Till they're back?” It was funny, with him. One moment he’d be full of confidence, flirting with you at the max, but, in a second, his entire demeanor would change and he’d look unsure, insecure to ask you anything.

You were starting to wonder if he wasn’t just being a stupid hormonal teenager and if he actually, maybe, had a little bit of a crush on you. But you wouldn’t entertain those thoughts, of course. First because you could be completely misinterpreting the situations, and second because you needed the job, and you hadn’t gotten enough of a read on his mom to know if she’d be cool with that.

Still, you did have nothing else to do but scroll through your phone as you waited. “Sure.”

“Oh! Cool. Uh, my room’s right there,” he pointed to a white door by his left, and you followed him in. It actually looked pretty cool. It was sort of exactly what you expected his room to look like, except maybe a little messier, if that was possible.

To each their own, I guess. It’s not like you were the cleanest person to ever walk the Earth. You sat down on his bed, and he opted to sit down on a beanbag just in front of you.

TIt's safe to say things were a little awkward. “Uh. So. Cool room.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You studied the multiple posters he had glued to his walls. “Oh, The Cure. Cool.”

“Yeah. They’re not like super my style or anything. But they’re cool.”

“What would be your style?”

“I don’t know. Hard rock.”

“Huh. I don’t know. You just look like one of those guys who like rock but secretly listen to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber or something when they’re alone.”

“What- what I would never- I don’t-” busted.

You laughed at him as he tried to deny it. “I think it’s cool.”

He stopped. “You do?”

“Yeah. Taylor Swift’s cool.”

“Yeah uh. Girls dig that.”

“Do you really know what girls dig or do you just make random guesses?”

“I’m well-informed.”

“Oh are you? You have a girlfriend or something?” Subtle.

He scoffed. “Pfft. Yeah.”

“Uh- huh.”

He gave in. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay”

“You're a girl. What do you dig then?”

“What a romantic way to phrase that question. I guess I don’t know. Never stopped to think of it. What do you think we dig?”

“Uh. Bad boys?”

You let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess. But it depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether they’re nice to us.”

“So you want bad boys who are actually nice.”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Uh. But I can be nice.”

“Who said you’re a bad boy to begin with?”

“Um rock band? Cool eyeliner?” He motioned to himself, mockingly.

“Well who do you wanna be nice for?”

“Uh. You? Obviously.”

Your smile faltered. There was the confidence making an appearance again.

“What?”

“Uh. You know. So I can uh- practice. For other... girls?”

“Right.”

“Or maybe not.”

“Okay I ‘m lost.”

“Do you wanna go out with me? ” He blurted out at rapid speed.

Okay, sudden much? “What?”

“Uh. We could… go to the movies or something? You seem to like movies.”

“Right. But as a… date?”

“Yeah.”

You thought about it. It was just a date, it’s not like his mom would get mad about a date, right?

“Sure.”

“What?”

“I said sure.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t seem to have been expecting a positive answer. “Oh! That’s cool! That's- cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

He began standing up. “Well, do you wanna-” In that very moment, before he could finish, the doorbell rang, and you made your way past him, running downstairs and getting the front door.

“Y/N! How are we?”

You hoped the blush on your cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt as you talked to her. “We’re great! Greg and Rowley are already in bed, Rodrick and I have been uh. Hanging out.”

“Oh that’s nice of him!” She turned to face her husband, who, in turn, grabbed your wrist.

“What have you done to him? Are you some sort of witch?” He asked you.

You laughed awkwardly. “Oh it’s all him! He was showing me the posters in his room, we like the same bands!”

“Oh do you uh. Like rock too?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well we’re taking too much of your time. Is Rodrick driving you home?”

Oh, right. Shit. He was.

“Yeah I uh, think so.”

With that, he walked into your view, holding up the van keys. He’d apparently put on shades, probably so his parents wouldn’t see he had eyeliner on.

“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Mr. Heffley asked him as he walked past them.

“It’s called fashion, dad!”

Mrs. Heffley handed you the money for the night, and you went on your way, getting into the van with Rodrick, who, by now, didn’t need the GPS to get to your place. Except he wasn’t driving to your place at all.

“What are you doing?”

“Wanted a slushie. That cool?”

“I guess.”

He stopped by a 7/11 and bought each of you a slushie and some chocolate bars, which you ate outside. The wind started to get harsher, and you crossed your arms around your chest for warmth. He caught on to that, taking his striped hoodie off and giving it to you. You looked up at him, confused.

“What?”

“You’re cold.”

“Yeah but you’ll be cold.”

“Rockstars don’t get cold.”

“You’re not a rockstar.”

“Not yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"Just take it!”

You did, and put it on. This one hung looser than the shirt you’d borrowed earlier. It did help. You tried your best to contain the smile that was insisting on forming on your lips. You knew it was dumb.

“Thanks,” you mumbled under your breath, and you could see him smirk, proud of himself. “You’re so cheesy. Wouldn’t take you for it.”

“I’m not cheesy. I’m just not an asshole.”

“You kinda are.”

“Shut up!”

You ate in silence for a bit before you decided to say what was on your mind. “Hey about that date?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t… I don’t know if we should do it.”

He tried to seem chill about it, but he looked a little hurt. “Why?”

“Well it’s not that I don’t want to! I do. For… some reason,” you added, trying to lighten up the mood. “But do you think your mom would be cool with it? I mean I don’t wanna lose this job and I don’t know if she’d really like us being alone if we’re dating.”

His face lit up. “So you’re thinking about dating me?”

Oh, you’d messed up big time now, he’d never let this go. “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“I think it is.”

“Fuck off!”

“Oh we’re using big boy words now?” He grinned.

“Shut up.”

“Well. Don’t think that should be a problem. They don’t have to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“What, do you tell your parents everything? They don’t have to know we’re dating.”

“Yeah but we’re not dating.”

“Not yet.”

“Shut up!”

“They don’t have to know we’re going on a date, then. Plus, the days you work can be like little dates.”

“Yeah except there will be two children up our asses.”

“You can manage.”

“Fine, Heffley. But if I lose my job you’ll be owing me. Like literal money.”

“Deal.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

[. . .]

A/N: sometimes ur 20 pages into a diary of a wimpy kid rodrick heffley oneshot and you ask urself wtf am i doing with my life. this is the product of that. i wrote this THREE YEARS AGO WOW so i edited some of it to post it here but nothing major cause i didn't want it to lose its energy lol. btw i was in fact like. actually in high school at the time lmao. luv yall!

#diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley imagine #greg heffley #rowley jefferson #imagine #x reader

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moremaybank · 1 year

Text

FEATURE ME — j.m

pairing jj maybank x fem!reader

summary your breakup with rafe leaves you single and alone on valentine's day. you run into jj at a bar, and things get heated. (based on the song “feature me” by flo)

warnings 18+, unprotected sex (jj pulls out), semi-public sex, fingering, squirting, language, i think that's it but let me know if i missed any

author's note i love this song, dude. give flo a listen if you haven’t, they’re amazing

jj masterlist ;; valentine's event ‘23 𓆩 ♡ 𓆪

not what i usually do but i’ve been peepin’ you

i’m tryna play it cool but it’s too much

he got me breakin’ the rules

there ain’t no steppin’ to, he’s my forbidden fruit, yeah

you’d never been the type of girl to partake in a steamy one-night stand. at least, you didn’t think you were.

but all of that changed when you saw your old friend jj walk into the bar you were at.

jj was wearing a simple short sleeve button-up paired with some jeans, his boots laced on his feet. he looked amazing, all sun-kissed and devilishly handsome, just as he’d always been.

his eyes roamed the room as he tried to decide where to sit, and they went wide when they landed on you, seated at the bar with a stiff drink in hand. a familiar grin rose onto his lips as he walked over to you, running a hand through his signature messy blonde locks.

“hey, sweetheart. whatcha doing all alone on valentine’s day?”

“didn’t you hear?” you asked. “rafe broke up with me.”

jj’s brows furrowed, “what? weren’t you together for, like, four years?”

“yup,” you scoffed, downing your drink and slamming the glass down on the bar table.

“well, he’s an idiot. you’re amazing. you deserve better than that,” he said, sliding into the seat next to you and ordering himself a drink.

the two of you stayed there for a while, knocking back drinks together and reminiscing on fond memories from high school. you and jj were good friends, him always being able to make you laugh and have fun with you at parties. of course, you’d always thought he was good-looking, but your heart was taken, and you were always faithful to your boyfriend.

“and then you punched kelce so hard he fell over,” you laughed as your hand rested on jj’s shoulder.

“eh,” he shrugged, laughing along with you, “he totally deserved it. he was annoying as fuck back then.”

“still is,” you replied. “and i agree. it was well-deserved.”

“so…i hate to bring this up, but i just gotta say it. how the fuck could rafe just let you go like that? i honestly thought you guys were gonna get married,” jj said.

“he said the passion and romance were fizzling out, and he was getting bored. he even told me that our sex life was horrible as if it was my fault. he’s the one that fucked me in the same goddamn position every night, barely even making sure that i’d cum before rushing out the door to meet the guys. he was probably cheating on me, honestly.”

“well,” jj began, inching closer to you, “if i’d been the one fucking you, i wouldn’t have stopped until you came at least nine times.” his hand smoothed up your knee, slowly creeping up your thigh as he kept his gaze locked on yours.

you felt a throbbing sensation in your core. you saw the fire behind his eyes, and you decided to play along. “only nine? why not ten?”

“babygirl…i’d give you as many as you wanted. i bet you sound so pretty when you fall apart.”

your heart pounded in your chest furiously as you registered his words, and you instantly felt slick pooling in your panties. jj’s low and raspy voice as he whispered to you, and his heated hand on your bare thigh made you nervous, but you wanted to be brave. you wanted to let go and let yourself have fun for the first time since rafe had dumped you. so you bucked up.

“wanna find out?”

oh, he’s got me actin’ like i’m some kind of animal

the way he looks at me, i don’t feel like a girl no more

what you want from me? arch my back like it’s supposed to be

i do it properly, ooh-woah

jj kissed you fervently, pushing you against the back of the restroom door. his hand blindly fumbled around as he locked it, ensuring no one could come in. his fingers then threaded themselves into your hair, holding your face to his while he devoured your lips. you pulled him closer by tugging on his collar, wanting to feel his body pressed against yours.

“mm, wait,” you stopped, pulling away abruptly. “this could be really stupid. what if we get caught?”

jj only smirked in response, his thumb stroking your cheek as he repositioned it to cradle your face. “don’t you remember my motto, baby? stupid things have good outcomes all the time.”

the worry on your face wavered just a tad, but jj could see that you weren’t entirely convinced. he let go of his hold on your face and slipped under your skirt. he found your clothed clit with ease, applying the slightest bit of pressure as he started to massage it in slow circles. you let out a hushed moan, but it was loud enough for jj to hear. smugness took over him, and he knew he could quell your fear.

“c’mon, pretty girl. let me make you cum a few times in here. then i’ll take you back to my place and let you use me in any way you can think of. it’ll all be for you.”

you thought on it, your eyes locked on jj's while he watched you try to hold back. jj's eyes held so much lust and fire in them, and it was hard not to think about how good it would feel to just give in. he continued rubbing your clit, adding more pressure little by little as he awaited your response.

“deal.”

set the scene and feature me (ah-ha, ah-ha)

touch on me (on me), get on your knees

i’ll take the lead

i got the energy, oh-woah, woah-woah

we’re not meant to be, so promise me

when i’m done (ah-ha, ah-ha), you’ll up and leave

‘cause boy i need to take the lead (take the lead, baby)

so match my energy, oh, oh

i’ll take the lead

jj had picked you up mid-kiss, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you over to the countertop and set you down. your legs remained open, your heels pushing jj’s hard-on into your clothed core and making you shiver in anticipation. he ground into you slightly while he deepened the kiss, letting a loud groan into your mouth.

you whimpered at the feel of him. you could tell he was big just from that one little action. you didn’t even have to see him naked to know that he would be the best dick you’d ever had.

it was the way he conducted himself. his greedy hands caressing and grabbing you anywhere they could, kissing you as if he’d never get another chance, pulling you against the tent in his jeans and rubbing against you. it made your knees weak in anticipation of what was to come.

jj’s hands snuck up your skirt in search of your panties. you raised your hips, leaning back on your hand and helping him remove them. once he did, he gave you a mischievous grin and shoved them into his back pocket.

“of course you'd wear the sexiest panties i’ve ever seen. can’t believe you spoiled rafe like that. fucking ungrateful bastard.”

“jj,” you sighed. “you can’t keep those. i don’t want you getting any ideas about this becoming a thing.”

“relax, princess. i know what this is. just want a lil’ souvenir,” he replied, giving you a wink. “i’ve been waiting years to fuck you. i think i deserve to keep ‘em.”

you laughed softly, shaking your head at him. “you’re trouble.”

jj’s fingers found your bare pussy, prodding them at your seeping entrance. he slowly pushed two of them inside, and you gasped. he gave you a smug look, “the best kind.”

he curled them upward each time he stroked your walls, playing with your g-spot and watching your reactions as he did so. he watched as your lips parted and you began to breathe heavily. your eyes were shut, and you held onto jj’s muscular shoulders as he pummelled his fingers inside you.

“j, please,” you panted, pulling away. “no more teasing. wanna feel your cock.”

“uh uh. make a mess, baby. want you nice and ready for me,” he spoke against your lips. “let’s see how easily my fingers make you cum.”

his fingers sped up, thrusting into you faster as his thumb came into contact with your needy clit. he continued to stroke your g-spot while he stimulated your clit, and your moans were growing louder, so loud that you’d get caught without a doubt. jj kissed you to keep you quiet, swallowing each of your pretty sounds. he admired how intoxicating you were at that moment, taking particular pride in him being the one to turn you into a puddle without doing much.

with a well-timed flick of your clit, you came around his fingers. you squeezed jj’s arms as you did so, grounding yourself as your orgasm rippled through your body. it was already so intense, you wondered how much more his cock would affect you.

jj retracted his fingers, shoving them straight into his mouth so he could taste you. he instantly groaned, his tongue lapping every drop of you while his eyes rolled back. “christ, you taste as perfect as you look. when we get to mine, i’m gonna devour that pussy. you got that?”

“definitely. but right now, i want you inside me, jj. stop talking and fuck me.”

boy, it’s the perfect time (oh-woah)

seems like you read my mind (oh-woah)

you know just what to do

and how to bring my thoughts alive (thoughts alive)

my thoughts alive (thoughts alive)

so take your time (ah-ha)

undress me tonight, oh-ooh, oh, oh (undress me)

jj’s fingers moved to his jeans, undoing the button and zipper as he worked to free his cock. he shoved his jeans and briefs below his ass, finally letting his cock come into view. it was standing tall and proud, all thick and pretty. you salivated as you imagined the gratifying weight of it on your tongue or how it would feel when he pushed inside of you.

“like what you see, princess?”

you brought your attention back to jj at his words, blushing as he gave you a knowing grin. “very much so. your cock is so pretty, j. want it inside me already.”

he gripped it, leading it to your entrance. he pushed the tip against your slick, and he hissed at how wet you were. he couldn’t wait to find out how perfectly you’d wrap around him and how velvety and warm your soaking walls would feel as it swallowed him whole, so he pushed inside. you both gasped, watching as he sank into you balls-deep.

“look at that, baby. look how stretched out you are around my cock. so fucking tight i can barely breathe,” jj rasped. “‘m gonna destroy this pussy.”

he began to move, giving you punishing thrusts right off the bat. he pulled one of your legs, hooking it over his shoulder and giving himself more room to split you open. you moved one of the hands you’d had on him, gripping the side of his neck as you leaned back against the mirror while the thrill of pleasure overtook you.

“so fucking big, j. holy shit,” you whined as he fucked you.

the hem of jj’s shirt seemed to be getting in the way, and jj was quick to pull it in between his teeth. he did it so seamlessly that it was one of the sexiest things you’d ever seen. he remained concentrated as he tried to fuck your brains out. his goal was to fuck you so good that rafe would be nothing but a small part of your past, and you’d know what you deserved in the future.

one of jj’s hands moved down to play with your clit, rubbing furiously as his hips sped up. your cries were increasing in volume, ten times louder than when he’d fucked you with his fingers, and jj’s solution was to let go of your thigh and clamp his hand over your mouth. it barely made a difference, but jj didn’t care. the fact that he was fucking you so good that you couldn’t control your noise made him giddy.

he released his shirt from his mouth so he could use his filthy words on you again. “i love how you sound, baby. fuck, any louder and everyone in this goddamn bar is going to know whose cock is driving you crazy.”

“j,” you mewled. your voice came out muffled due to jj’s hand, but he still somehow understood you.

“what is it, baby? tell me what you want, tell me how to make you feel good. promise i’ll give you whatever you want,” he cooed. he moved his hand from your mouth, resting it on the heated nape of your neck.

“don’t hold back. fuck me harder, please.”

your pleading eyes ignited a fire within jj, and he nodded. both his hands found your thighs, keeping them against his torso as he fucked you harder, just as you’d wished. he slammed into you harshly, stuffing you full with his cock nice and deep each time.

“jj!”

“shhh,” he hushed, “gotta stay quiet if you don’t wanna get caught, baby. when we get home, you can scream as loud as you like.”

are you receivin’ the signs (signs)

i’m speakin’ on my mind (speakin’ on my mind)

i just want you to come through (want you to come through)

already set the mood (the mood)

i’ll tell you what to do to me, oh-ooh-woah, oh, oh

are you receivin’ the signs (signs)

i’m speakin’ on my mind (speakin’ on my mind)

i just want you to come through (want you to come through)

already set the mood (the mood)

i’ll tell you what to do to me, yeah-ayy, yeah-ayy

“you want more, baby? want me to play with your clit and make you cum all over me?”

you nodded profusely, your eyes shutting closed as jj drove into you quickly and roughly. you were vibrating against his body, the force of his thrusts shaking your body back and forth. he groaned at how well you were taking his cock, your walls squeezing him like a vice as he punished them. he fucked you relentlessly, one hand finally coming down to toy with your clit again. he rubbed it viciously, sending bolts of pleasure through you and pushing you over the edge.

“j— i’m gonna—”

“i know, baby. i can feel you. give it to me,” jj responded, keeping up his actions. you let out a muffled cry as you bit into your bottom lip, trying to keep yourself quiet. your juices squirted out of you, surprising you both as you drenched the hem of jj’s shirt and his bare torso.

“good fucking girl. now everyone’s gonna know what we did in here. bet you wanted that, huh? wanted to let everyone out there know how i fucked your pussy until it cried for me?”

you were still whimpering, coming down from your high as jj chased his. his own grunts were increasing in volume as he teetered on the edge.

“c’mon, j. paint my pussy with your cum. cum all over me,” you begged. “please.”

jj’s cock twitched inside of you, and he pulled out right before he felt himself erupt. he jerked his cock furiously, releasing all over your pussy and inner thighs. “shiiit.”

“that…was so fucking hot,” you panted, admiring his cum on your skin. you collected his cum on your fingers, bringing them into your mouth and licking it clean. “mmm, you taste amazing, jj. promise me you’ll let me suck your cock when we get out of here. wanna feel your cum drip down my throat while you fuck it.”

jj gave you a cynical smile through his hazy expression as his hand came up to your face, “there’s nothing i want more, pretty girl.”

jj succeeded in his goal. rafe was the furthest thing from your mind right now. all you could think about was him.

jj tag list (join here!): @maybankslover @kittyqrt @v-velvetykisscs @hobiibobii @rafesdior @fool4him @hemogloban @pankhoeforlife @rafesmuse @lyn07 @houseofperfecttaste @qualitybelieverflower @dudenhaaa27 @princessbetsy123-blog @tori-loves1 @alexxavicry @kenzi-woycehoski @elijahssuit @skydisneylover @adoreyouusugar @obxjjpouge @conniesanchor @baby-maybank @angel037 @wotfasked @rafelover @penny4yourthoughts @adr1an4 @nerd505 @xngelsau @maybank-archives @p4nkowrld

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radio-navlee · 18 days

Text

Injury

This is an IRL tickle story! I like to be detailed in telling these stories so I might as well just call them a fic right?

Ok so I would like to say I’m pretty active, I play sports often but with that I get injured. Usually I it’s just court burns and bruises, rarely I get actual injuries.

last week I started feel pain in my right foot. Obliviously I ignored it, usually these things go away on its own, maybe I slept wrong or something. But the pain didn’t go away, it got worse.

Finally I show up to practice on Thursday and talk to my coach about it, they told me it might be a problem in my calf and I need to stretch it out.

Me and my teammate talked after practice and I explained to her that it maybe my calf which is causing me the pain. (Little biology lesson, the part of my calf that connects where my foot was hurting, that whole part was a muscle. By only rubbing my foot it wasn’t doing much, the real problem was in the calf.)

“Oh my gosh, I can totally give you a massage!”

“Oh no, (teammate name) please. I don’t want to bother you!” I say

“Don’t even worry about it! I’m coming over!” She smiled at me

After practice we agreed to just sleepover at my place, she drove home to wash up and pack and I drove home to shower and eat.

She shows up with this medical lotion or oil, I’m not quite sure what it was.

“You ready?”

“Pft- don’t make it sound like anything it’s not!”

We both laugh and I show her around. She has me lay face down on my bed and sits cris cross applesauce at my feet.

“This one right?” She picks up my right foot

“Yup!” I flinch at the touch

“Alright! Let me work my magic! You, just sit back and relax!”

“You got it!” I give her a thumbs up and fidget with my figures as I wait for the massage to start.

She uses her thumbs to dig into my calf, I tense up and start to squirm.

“Does that hurt?”

“nOpe! you’re gOOd!”

“okay..” she sounds suspicious

She continues to massage my calf, going up and down and digging into this onneee spot that I could not sit still with! In the upper middle of my calf,

“Does this hurt?”

“Noho! It’s fihine!” I burry my face into the pillow under me.

“Everything ok up there?”

“Yehes!”

“Why are you laughing? And squirming? Do you not like massages?” She dug deeper into that spot

“GAH- Ok!! Wahahait!!”

“no way! You’re ticklish!” She vibrated her fingers into my calf

“OHOH MHAHAY GOHOD!!” I giggle into my pillow

“That’s insane!” She stops

“Yohohu could have kihilled me!”

“Phst! You’ll be fine!”

Okay, now not even I knew that I was ticklish on my calf’s. Well I knew, but I didn’t know!

“just finish the massage! I want this over as soon as possible!” I joked

“Navy- For you to feel better I’m gonna need to massage your foot as well. Are you ok with that?”

“…..God damnit!” I sighed

“Yes or no?”

“Yea, sure! Just…be quick!”

The next hour I didn’t stop laughing. It’s embarrassing to say but it escalated as soon as she touched my foot.

(I know this isn’t a fanfic but I’ve been busy with sports and school, this is all I could get out this month <3)

#tickle #sfw tickling community #tickle fanfic #tickle fluff #tword community #tickle story #tickle community

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defectivevillain · 1 year

Text

struck by your lightning, chii

reader’s pronouns: he/him

here’s chapter one [you’ll want to read this first, otherwise this part won’t make much sense]

as i mentioned in part one, this is a chat fic and the formatting was mostly made for ao3. it’s a lil wonky here, so here’s the ao3 version if you’d prefer to read that :)

a lil recap of last chapter: you're assigned to work the red carpet at a national awards gala. there, you interview tons of celebrities, including kaminari! kaminari is super nice & you leave the event feeling exhausted, relieved, and satisfied all at once. you return home to take a light nap, only to wake up to a notification from your phone. it seems kaminari is texting you...? that's weird.

Direct Message

You: SKJNFIOE LK>BFGJSL B>GEJRHKR BLWUIFKGJ ER

Kaminari Denki: u good?

You: TOTALLY COMPLETELY FINE

Kaminari Denki: OKAY, GOOD ?

You: YEP…

You: 😶

Kaminari Denki: 😶 😶

You: sorry i didn’t believe you

You: i have to be careful with messages from unknown numbers…

You: well, you get it, i’m sure.

Kaminari Denki: ya i get it

You: also, i have something to say to you

Kaminari Denki: wassup

You: waffles are better fck u

Kaminari Denki: ur so wrong.

You: I AM ABSOTLEUYL NOT

Kaminari Denki: LMFAO YOU ABSOTLEUYL ARE

You: FUCK U

Kaminari Denki: 😘

You: hold on. hold onnnnnn.

You: how’d u get this number ??

You: pls don’t tell me my number is leaked

Kaminari Denki: nahhh it’s not leaked

____

You have to breathe a sigh of relief at that. It’s not like you’re an important public figure or anything, but the thought of anyone having access to your phone number sends shivers down your spine. You already get enough spam calls.

____

Kaminari Denki: i got ur number cuz…

Kaminari Denki: idol perks

You: you just asked my coworker, didn’t you

Kaminari Denki: yup

You: sigh…

Kaminari Denki: they told me that if i hurt you

Kaminari Denki: they’d murder me

You: gsjfdkheng3oaejk….

You: just give me a moment to scream

Kaminari Denki: …

You: ok im bck

Kaminari Denki: LOL dude ur good dw abt it 😭

Kaminari Denki: i thought it was kinda cute actually

You: unfortunately, they were dead fucking serious… they could kill a bitch

You: i wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already killed someone, actually…

Kaminari Denki: well that’s comforting

You: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You: also, congrats on the award !

Kaminari Denki: thx

Kaminari Denki: does this mean you’ll listen to my music now?

You: maybe

Kaminari Denki: hmph :/

You: why?

Kaminari Denki: why what?

You: idk. why do you care? it��s not like my listening will give you any money

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: cause ur cute and i like you?

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You:

Kaminari Denki: welp i’m just gonna go then 🏃🏃🏃

You: no waittt

You: sorry, you just surprised me

Kaminari Denki: no one’s ever said that to you before?

You: well, i mean, yeah, but…

Kaminari Denki: who. when. where. why.

You: plssss

You: what album should i start on then

Kaminari Denki: lightning

You: oki

Kaminari Denki: tell me how u like it after ;0

You: okiii

You: alr i’m gonna go to bed

Kaminari Denki: gn (´｡• ω •｡`)

____

Kaminari: it’s been a week are you alive

____

You grimace at the notification displayed on your lock screen. Admittedly, you hadn’t meant to ignore him- time just slipped away from you. Guilt stews in your chest all the same.

____

You: no i’m definitely not

Kaminari: sooo what’d ya think

You: oh SHIT that’s what i forgot to do

You: im so sorryyyyy the agency has been running me ragged 🙏

Kaminari: don’t apologize for doing ur job,, lol

Kaminari: what are they having you do?

You: whaleeee

You: before, i was more of a local reporter

You: but since the awards, i’ve actually been interviewing other celebrities and stuff

Kaminari: oh

You: it’s weird, tbh

Kaminari: ya a lot of music folks are pretty weird

You: says you

Kaminari: oi! i’m not weird 😡

You: im jk lolll

Kaminari: you know for a reporter you have awful grammar

You: well fck u2 then

Kaminari: :P

You: people keep recognizing me now,,, it’s weird

You: like literally a girl came up to me yesterday and was like “you interviewed kaminari!!”

Kaminari: oh shit lol

You: right?

You: other than that, i’ve been good

You: hbu? you’ve probably been busy

Kaminari: nah, not that much. just writing new music.

You: oh cool

You: speaking of music

You: i really liked your album

Kaminari: rly? u listened to it?

You: ofc i did!!!! it was cool

Kaminari Denki: what was ur fave song :P

You: probably shockwave!

You: it was very heartfelt

Kaminari: yeah… i wrote that one in the midst of a breakup

You: awe :(

You: at least it made a great song, haha

Kaminari Denki: yeah, that’s a good way to think about it actually

You: 😌

Kaminari Denki: so what other music do you listen to, then?

Kaminari Denki: besides mine, obviously

You: i listen to sero’s music sometimes

Kaminari Denki: skljehgeiroljhngejlrkshg

You: have you heard of him?

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: yes

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

You: r u good?

You: u got rly weird all of a sudden

Kaminari Denki: one sec, i need to kill a bitch

You: wut

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: SERO I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU

Sero Brain Cells: I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO RIP YOUR POSTER

Sero Brain Cells: IT WAS AN ACCIDENTTTTTT

Kaminari: what

Sero Brain Cells: what

Kaminari: what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ohshit💀

Kaminari: sero. what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ur limited edition one….? ha…… ha……

Kaminari: wow i am literally going to kill you twice

Sero Brain Cells: NO PLS SPARE ME

Kaminari: and to think that wasn’t even what i was going to talk to you about

Kaminari: damn

Kaminari: ok. focus, kaminari.

Sero Brain Cells: i swear i’ll make it up to you bro

Kaminari: you will?

Sero Brain Cells: yes just ask for a favor. any favor and i’ll do it

Kaminari: perfect. stop making music forever.

Sero Brain Cells: okay

Kaminari: nice

Sero Brain Cells: great

Kaminari: perfect

Sero Brain Cells: wait WHAT THE FUCK

Kaminari: u heard me hoe

Sero Brain Cells: wtf crawled up ur ass dude

Kaminari: i asked my friend what kind of music he listens to and he said yours

Sero Brain Cells: holy shit ur talking to that reporter?

Kaminari: HOW IN THE HELL

Kaminari: LITERALLY HOW DID YOU KNOW

Sero Brain Cells: lmfaooo

Sero Brain Cells: kami, i know all of ur other friends. bc they’re also my friends.

Kaminari: sighhhhh

Sero Brain Cells: anyway. he listens to my music?

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: that’s cool tbh

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: give him my number, will u?

Kaminari: i despise you

Kaminari: why are we friends

Sero Brain Cells: because i’m sexy and hot and funny?

Kaminari:

Sero: <3 ?

Kaminari: … <3

Sero Brain Cells: and bc i make good music? ;)

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: damn 💀

____

Direct Message

You: u good, dude…? it's been a few days…

Kaminari Denki: definitely… dude.

You: don’t kill sero, pls? I like his music :$

Kaminari Denki: oof

You: i’m messing with you

You: although i do actually like his music a lot

Kaminari Denki: staHp

You: but i like ur music more ;)

Kaminari Denki: DSNJKGLJSNJGFKSGJLS

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oh!! also!!! i completely forgot- u left ur placard on the red carpet the other day

You: oh FUCKKKKKK MEEEEE

Kaminari Denki: i mean if you insist

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

Kaminari Denki: [placard.jpg]

[placard.jpg]: A picture of the ever-familiar placard that you had at the red carpet. The back is filled with your rampant scribblings and notes. It’s hardly legible once you really look at it. Upon closer investigation, there’s a note in glittery gold ink at the bottom with a cute doodle of a Pikachu. Evidently, that was Kaminari’s doing.

You: AKSJHGSDJSHJKHJS THANK YOU FOR SAVING IT

You: omfg that would’ve been so bad if someone else had gotten ahold of it…

Kaminari Denki: yeah some of these notes are hilarious, dude

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Ground Zero anything. Ever.”

You: NOOOOOO you weren’t supposed to see that

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Shoto about his father,” is a rly good one actually

You: oh goddddd pls spare me

Kaminari Denki: dude it’s okay calm down

Kaminari Denki: do u want it back

You: yeah ig

You: wouldn’t want to leak industry secrets 🙄

You: since u have it… can u just mail it to me

Kaminari Denki: don’t have ur address

You: well i’ll just give it to you then, dude

Kaminari Denki: i don’t have postal

You: wut 😶

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: DUDE HELP MEEEEE

Kaminari: SOS SOS SO FUCKING S

Sero Brain Cells: what’d u do this time

Kaminari: so yk how the cuteass reporter dropped his placard and i picked it up

Sero Brain Cells: u did??? dawg ur whipped 💀

Kaminari: THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

Kaminari: but anyway i texted him abt it today and he said i could just mail it to him

Kaminari: but!! i was hoping to see him again and obv i didn’t want that to happen

Sero Brain Cells: and????

Kaminari: and… [textconvo.screenshot]

Sero Brain Cells: oh i know you did nottttt

Kaminari: I PANICKED AND SAID I DIDN’T HAVE POSTAL

Sero Brain Cells: yeah,,,, i can see that…..

Kaminari: I'M SO DONE

Sero Brain Cells: dude no ur not

Kaminari: wut

Sero Brain Cells: this is ur chance!!!!!! u can get him to hang out w u by offering to give him the placard thingy

Kaminari: have i ever told u that ur a genius

Sero Brain Cells: not enough, evidently

Kaminari: WELL UR A GENIUS

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: well, ty

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oi i have an idea

You: what’s up

Kaminari Denki: abt the placard

You: yes?

Kaminari Denki: ur agency’s near that one cafe right

You: espressobeanz? yes

Kaminari Denki: i can meet u there tmrw

You: um what

Kaminari Denki: ?

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You: wait what

Kaminari Denki: what?

You: idk, just… don’t you have more important things to do

Kaminari Denki: not rly

You: ok…

Kaminari Denki: plus i wanna hang out :(

You: ohhhh oki

You: wait holup holdup

You: the cafe is kinda public… r u gonna be ok

Kaminari Denki: why wouldn’t i be

You: idk don’t you get mobbed in public whenever people recognize you

Kaminari Denki: i mean yeah but it’s fine

You: u sure?

Kaminari Denki: yep!

You: okiii sounds like a plan then

Kaminari Denki: cool

You: i get off work at 3pm so let’s just meet then?

Kaminari Denki: 👍

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: omfg sero ur forgiven for ripping my poster

Sero Brain Cells: HOORAY

Kaminari: im meeting w him tomorrow Ψ(`_´ # )↝

Sero Brain Cells: niiiiice!!

Kaminari: i'm so scared

Sero Brain Cells: what why

Kaminari: i'm scaredddd

Sero Brain Cells: okay okay don’t freak out

Sero Brain Cells: have you picked out an outfit?

Kaminari: nope

Sero Brain Cells: okay so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll meet u at ur place tn and i’ll help u pick out something to wear

Kaminari: and i’ll order food

Sero Brain Cells: YES NOW U GET IT

____

You throw your phone on the couch and bury your head in your hands. Your heart is racing at the thought of seeing Kaminari again. You have to pause and take a deep breath to calm yourself down. Thankfully, you have the rest of today to spend freaking about and picking out ten different outfits that you’ll never wear.

As for right now, though… It’s time to distract yourself. You pull up a Youtube video and resolutely pretend not to think about your date tomorrow.

____

thx for reading <33333

tagging: @tejas-kris and @felmierr :0

#defectivevillain #kaminari x reader #kaminari x male reader #bnha x reader #bnha x male reader #male reader #masc reader #yuh yuh #transmasc reader #ig #I mean I'm transmasc so #yeah that counts

72 notes · View notes

piedintheface · 1 year

Text

Skit #4

(Colin is standing in the studio in front of a whole lot of pies and other sweet foods; Aaron walks in casually)

Aaron: Hey, what's up?

Colin: Huh.

Aaron: What?

Colin: It's just that when you saw all these pies here, I thought you'd turn around.

Aaron: Nope. Totally cool with it.

Colin: Wow, I'm surprised! What changed?

Aaron: Well you see, over the course of our videos I have been hit in the face with probably forty cream pies and do you know how many you have been hit with?

Colin: Well, if I had to count..

Aaron: The answer is none, Colin!

Colin: Oh yeah.

Aaron: And I realized it's because you don't care. It's just not funny if someone gets pie in the face who doesn't care.

Colin: That makes sense!

Aaron: So today I am here to say that I don't care if I get a pie in the face!

Colin: Okay, but what if it wasn't a pie? (Picks up an egg) What if I cracked this egg over your head?

Aaron: Wouldn't mind.

(Colin cracks an egg over Aaron's head)

Colin: So that doesn't bother you.

Aaron: Nope.

Colin: Okay, but what if the pie doesn't hit you in the face?

Aaron: What do you mean?

Colin: I assume if I ruined your shirt with this pie, you wouldn't mind?

(Colin pies Aaron in the chest)

Aaron: Nope, all good. I can just wash it later. (Aaron takes his shirt off and tosses it aside) Plus you know me. Always looking for a reason to take off my shirt.

Colin: What about an ingredient? (Colin takes some whipped cream off the table and pours into his hand). Like this whipped cream? And I smashed it all over you?

(Colin smashed the cream on Aaron’s chest)

Aaron: Nope. No issue here.

Colin: So you're telling me, if I took this full; face-sized, banana cream pie (holds it up to Aaron's face) and placed it in your face, you wouldn't mind?

Aaron: Nope. Would be totally fine.

Colin: Let me just check to make sure

(Colin pies Aaron in the face)

Colin: So you're fine right now?

Aaron: Yup! I don't care that I have this banana cream pie in my face.

Colin: And I assume that would be okay with this coconut cream pie (pies in Aaron in the face). Or this chocolate cream pie (Pies him once again).

Aaron: Yup and yup. And you know what? It’s not funny. Because I don’t care.

(Colin picks up another pie from the table)

Colin: Now let’s just say I walk out of here completely clean. No pie in my face, just my perfect, clean hair and and my perfect clean cut smile. And you got hit with ANOTHER pie? You’d be fine?

(Colin holds up a cream pie right below Aaron’s face)

Aaron: Yup. No issue here.

(Colin pies Aaron in the face)

Colin: Wow, man. You’ve come a long way.

Aaron: Thank you.

Colin: (to the camera) All right folks! That’s all the time we have for today!

Aaron: no!

Colin: What??

Aaron: I’m sorry! I guess… It’s just…. I care!

Colin: About what?

Aaron: About getting pies in the face!

Colin: I wouldn’t admit it that!

(A pie comes out of nowhere and smashed Aaron in the face)

Aaron: does it matter? I care that I am always getting pied and you walk out of here squeaky clean! I’ve seen the pies. I’ve felt the pies. I’ve held the pies!! It’s such a simple solution too. I just want ONE cream pie to land in YOUR face!!

(A pie from offscreen hits Aaron in the face)

Aaron: I should have seen that one coming.

Colin: Okay but ask yourself ‘why.’ Why do you care so much?

Aaron: I DON’T KNOW!!

(Slime, of course, gets dumped on Aaron’s head)

Colin: Dude. I get it. (Picks up a pie) how would it make you feel if a I let you pie me with this cream pie?

Aaron: You’d let me do that?

Colin: If it means that much to you. I’d let you take this thick, creamy pie and really just let me have it.

(Handing over Aaron the pie)

Aaron: Are you serious?

Colin: Nahh, it’s funnier this way.

(Colin pies Aaron in the face)

27 notes · View notes

mephinomaly · 1 year

Text

[TL] Capture Your Heart/Chapter 1

Season: Winter

Location: Cafeteria

Tomoya: Hello Hakaze-senpai. Is it alright if I sit with you?

Kaoru: Ah, Tomoya-kun. Of course, take a seat~

None of the other Ra*bits are hopping about, so is it just you today?

Tomoya: Yes. I’ve just finished a recording for a drama.

Kaoru: You’re in another drama? That makes sense for such a popular actor like yourself~♪

Tomoya: Nono, I’m not popular. A kid in the same office has gotten sick, I’m their substitute.

I was just a background character, I barely had any lines.

Kaoru: I see… So why did you replace them of all people?

Surely even a newbie to theatre could take that role, right?

Tomoya: I offered to do it. The office staff were having a panic, and I thought it would be a good experience for me.

Kaoru: Experience?

Tomoya: Working on staying in sight whilst simultaneously blending into the scene. When you don’t have a lot of lines, you can really focus on refining your technique.

It’s a great opportunity to get the directors to remember your face. It might be a small role but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it seriously.

Aha. Sorry for just talking about myself.

Kaoru: Nah, it’s all good.

…Hm, it’s an interesting way to think about it.

I’d basically only been taking roles I’d been offered, so I didn’t realise I haven’t been getting to experience that sort of thing.

You’ve opened my eyes. Thanks, Tomoya-kun.

Tomoya: No problem… But you’re a popular guy, right Hakaze-senpai?

You were in a tennis themed drama the other day weren’t you?

Kaoru: Ahaha, you saw that? How embarrassing.

Tomoya: Why’s that? It was really really good. You were so cool as a hot-blooded club leader!

Kaoru: You think so? When Koga-kun saw me he said I was like a completely different person and laughed at me?

Tomoya: That’s surely a compliment. To seem different, to turn into someone that you’re not - isn’t that what it means to be an actor?

Kaoru: Right… You’re kind, Tomoya-kun.

They do tell me when I could improve on something, but they praise me for the most basic things. Kinda feels like they’re spoiling me.

Tomoya: It’s not just me saying good things, you know? There’s others who praise you, like Anzu-san for example.

Kaoru: Eh…Anzu-chan?

Tomoya: Yup. Actually, when we were taking a break backstage, Anzu-san and I watched it.

When the offer came in, the person who Anzu-san recommended was you. Some people were worried and thought it might be a miscast but—

If a senior was able to do it, it would be good.

Kaoru: H-huh. Right…

(I had no idea… I had doubts about the casting too. But if Anzu-chan says so…)

(I wonder if Tomoya-kun knows why she recommended me. I need to hear more.)

(...Focus man. It’ll sound super weird if I keep asking about it.)

Tomoya: Something the matter, Hakaze-senpai?

Kaoru: No, nothing’s the matter.

Uhh. Since we’re on the topic, could I ask you something about acting?

With the character I play, there’s a bit where he starts to hesitate towards the end.

Tomoya: Oh, okay yeah. I’ll be happy to help.

Time: A short time later

Kaoru: (...I’m glad I asked Tomoya-kun about that. After all it’s no good to base your acting off of someone you know.)

...

(...Why did she choose me? What did she think of my performance?)

(I didn’t end up asking Tomoya-kun… If I’m so worked up about it, I’ll just ask her directly.)

(It’s just about work. As an actor it’s totally normal to ask for others opinions, so there’s no reason for me to be self-conscious about this.)

(Huh? That voice… Anzu-chan—)

(...and Moricchi?)

Chiaki: —Hmm, is that day no good? If Anzu can’t, it must be busy…

Don’t pull that face. Sadness doesn’t suit you.

…Haha. Yup, that’s a quote from my favourite hero show.

But I do mean it. I don’t want you to worry.

It makes me happy that you take me seriously. Thanks, Anzu.

Kaoru: (What the… What’s with these vibes? Are these…good vibes?)

(I wanna know what they’re talking about, but I can’t exactly interrupt…)

(If I just back up and pretend I never saw them, I can just ask Anzu-chan another day–)

Chiaki: …Hm?

Oho, Hakaze! That’s totally Hakaze!

Kaoru: Oh God…

directory

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #kaoru hakaze #tomoya mashiro #chiaki morisawa #scorpio's venom

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meenatranslates · 8 months

Text

[R] Kazunari | V-Sign Rabbit Ears

Ta-da! Yukki and I tried making a sack for the sack race~♪ This just makes me wanna hop hop☆

__________________________

Ways to Hype Up Sack Race - Part 1

__________________________

*Director's default name as Izumi

―Lounge Room (Night)―

Kazunari: I went shopping today, and guess what? The store was selling Easter goodies~!

Izumi: It’s that season already, huh. Are you guys gonna make Easter eggs together this year too?

Tsumugi: We had a great time when we made them before, so I think that’s a good idea!

Taichi: I wanna do the egg hunt again! We did it at the dorm last year, right?

Kumon: Yeah, and it was super fun!

Izumi: Speaking of, I remember there are many other Easter games that you can play. Like egg race, sack race, and so on.

Kumon: Woah, sounds interesting as heck!

Taichi: Let’s try those other games too!

Kazunari: In that case, we should hold an Easter event with plenty of Easter games for this year!

Tsumugi: Easter event?

Kazunari: Yup! Wouldn’t it be fun if we compete against each troupe and score points for each game like the sports day?

Kumon: Yeah, it totally does~!

Taichi: We’ll name it “MANKAI Easter Event”!

Tsumugi: That sounds very exciting. I’m sure everyone would love it.

Izumi: Alright then, we’ll continue the discussion while listening to everyone’s opinions and plans.

Kazunari: Yay~! I’ve actually been wanting to do an Easter event with everyone for a while now!

Kumon: Hey, hey! Let’s double the excitement by adding a prize for the winner!

Taichi: Ooohh! Nice idea, Kyu-chan!

Kazunari: Okie, then I’ll let everyone know after I put together the overall event plan~!

Izumi: Sure, we’re counting on you.

Taichi: For the prize, I want Director-sensei to prepare it!

Kumon: Good idea!

Kazunari: They’d be totes motivated if they hear that Director-chan’s gonna reward them~!

Izumi: Really...? I’ll have it ready if that’s the case.

Tsumugi: Please do.

Taichi: So excited for the event~!

―Mini Lounge Room―

Kazunari: I’m home~...

Muku: Welcome home!

Yuki: You’re unusually in low spirits. Did something happen during sack race practice?

Kazunari: Nah, it’s just tougher than I thought...

Yuki: If I recall, sack race is a game where you put both legs inside a big sack and jump to move forward, right?

Muku: I can imagine how hard it must be...

Kazunari: Sure, it’s exhausting, but I’m just not feeling it at all~.

Yuki: Isn’t that because you’re using a plain-looking sack? Add some pattern on it and that should motivate you, even if just a little.

Muku: I see, he might be able to do his best if he uses a cute sack!

Kazunari: You’re right! Guess I’ll go and draw something on it~!

Yuki: It won’t be that exciting to draw on a brown sack, right?

Since it can’t be helped, I’ll make one with a bright colored cloth for you.

Kazunari: Eh, you will?!

Yuki: A sack’s easy to sew after all. If it’ll help Kazunari wins and gains some points for the troupe, it’s a small price to pay.

Kazunari: Thanksies!

Muku: Good for you, Kazu-kun!

Kazunari: Yeah! Alrighty then~ I’m gonna make the sack look even better by drawing on it!

__________________________

Ways to Hype Up Sack Race - Part 2

__________________________

―Lounge Room (Noon)―

Misumi: Are the triangle onigiris delicious~?

Citron: Very much! Thank you, Misumi~!

Kazunari: Sumi’s onigiris are the bestest!

Tenma: I’m home~... Oh, you guys having lunch? Quite late for that.

Citron: No, no! We’re eating these as a fuel before the exercise that we’ll be doing later!

Tenma: Exercise?

Misumi: Kazu and Citron said they’ll be practising for the sack race! That’s why I made some onigiris for them~.

Tenma: Oh~ For that Easter event...

Yuki: There you are, Kazunari. Here, it’s done.

Kazunari: Is this a sack for the sack race...? Eh, you finished it already?!

Yuki: Of course.

Kazunari: Thanks so much, Yukki! Now then, let’s come up a design for it~.

Since it’s for a sack race, I want something that’d make me go hop hop~. I wonder what would be good?

Misumi: I think onigiris are good!

Kazunari: Ooh, that’s a nice idea~!

Yuki: Only Trianglian would be happy for that.

Citron: I suggest sweet shrimp candy!

Kazunari: I see. Ronron will be in the sack race as well, so drawing a sweet shrimp candy might motivate him too!

Tenma: Hey, don’t forget that he’s your opponent!

Kazunari: Oopsie, true that~! In that case, I’ll draw it in the backside!

Citron: Yay! My idea is approved~!

Kazunari: Thanks for the idea, Ronron! Let’s draw the backside now~!

―(Evening)―

...Hm, like this?

Citron: Yes! That’s very well-drawn~!

Tenma: There’s still some space, so why don’t you draw something that makes you excited, Kazunari?

Kazunari: Hm~, something that gets me excited, huh~. If that’s the case...

It’s gotta be this!

Yuki: “Hype Up!” are words, not a drawing.

Kazunari: Oh right, gotta draw this too~!

Misumi: A triangle onigiri~! Thank you, Kazu~!

Yuki: In the end, you drew the words “Hype Up!”, the Trianglian’s favourite onigiri, and the sweet shrimp candy requested by Citron...

Tenma: You sure you’re happy with this?

Kazunari: I feel like doing my best when I see it, so it’s totes OK!

Hey guys, let’s take a pic with the sack! Get in, get in~!

Misumi: Okay~!

Citron: I’m in~!

Kazunari: Alrighty, say cheese!

*shutter*

Misumi: Did you take it~?

Kazunari: Yup, got a good shot!

Yuki: So? What’re you gonna do with the front?

Kazunari: Ah, you’re right! The front needs a design too!

Tenma: More importantly, weren’t you guys gonna do the sack race practice? It’s evening already.

Citron: Oh! That’s right!

Kazunari: I totes forgot about it~!

Citron: Even if we practise now, it’ll be dark outside soon...

Kazunari: Right~. Such a bummer~.

Story Clear!

#a3!#a3! translation #meenatranslates #kazunari miyoshi #miyoshi kazunari #i tried making the names with troupe color but idk if it looks good #and yes i know its been a while and maybe will be gone again

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calcifersfireplaceonao3 · 1 year

Note

Can you do a prompt for domestic cleon fluff, bonus points if they have children

Well, you said kids and uhhh, how about three of them?

Media: Resident Evil

Ship: Claire/Leon

Rating: General; Tags: Children, domestic fluff, background platonic or romantic Valenfield

-----------------

“Mom? Why does auntie Jill have a dog we can’t play with?” Claire looks down at her son’s serious face, a scrunched little V in between his faint red-brown eyebrows.

“Well,” she says, leaning back on the counter and wiping her hands on a dishtowel, “she’s a service dog. She’s working right now.”

“Her dog has a job?” The V gets deeper and Claire has to smile at his incredulous tone. Ruffling his hair she laughs, Leon, across from her leaning on the stove chuckles.

“Yeah. She’s got a job. She makes sure Jill feels okay, watches out for her.”

“So not like Grover.” he says slowly, “All Grover does is sleep. And poop.”

“Yup. Just like your sister.” Leon says, dodging the towel Claire snaps his way with a smile before scooping up Scott and laughing with him.

Scott’s childish voice rings through the hallway as Leon carries him away before Claire can hear him shouting in the backyard. Their oldest, Shirley yells back, sounding like she’s starting up a game of tag. Claire smiles to herself, reaching up to put the last of the morning dishes away.

“I don’t know why you’re doing that.” Leon says behind her fondly, resting his hands on her hips and pulling her back into him. “We’re just going to have to pull them all out again once your brother stops hogging the grill.”

“Like I’m letting any of my flatware out on that concrete, besides, you let him take over.” Leon kisses along her neck and Claire tilts her head to the side with a quiet sigh. Who’d’ve thought, all those years ago, that they'd end up here? Three kids, a big yard, too idyllic to be real but it is. Chris’ deep laugh sounds from outside and Claire can only guess that it’s from some quiet joke Jill told him, or maybe the kids being goofy.

“Eugh. ‘Let’ is a strong word, he would have been annoying till I let him, it was strategic.”

“Ah.” Claire turns in his arms and smiles into the kiss he gives her. “Strategic. Sure, sure. Totally believe that, and not that maybe you didn’t want to be in charge of food? Huh? Mr. I Burn Most Things Kenedy?”

“Hm. I’ll let that one slide.” On the counter the baby monitor squawks to life, “Sorry, gotta go, my baby’s calling.”

“I always knew I was the side piece!” Claire calls and Leon claps his hand to his heart as if shot and stumbles dramatically out the doorway.

Once outside the afternoon passes in a haze of dreamy happiness. Leon brings the baby downstairs and shoots Claire a faux-annoyed look when immediately Chris scoops up his newest niece. Claire pokes him in the side once and laughs as he jumps, watching with an unconscious smile as Chris sits carefully next to Jill and the two of them make the baby laugh with funny faces.

“Cece, right?” Jill asks.

“Yeah, well, Celia, but we call her Cece.”

“She’s beautiful.”

Just as Cece is finally asleep after her last bottle, from down the hall comes a loud wail. In her crib, the sound makes Cece start and her cries join in with an ear piercing harmony.

“I’ve got him, you good here?” Leon nods, already focused on soothing the startled infant, pulling her into his arms.

Claire cracks the door to her son’s bedroom open wider, adding illumination to the shark night-light and glow in the dark stars scattered across the ceiling, “Hey baby, what’s happening?”

Behind her she can hear a door open quietly and she turns, nodding to Shirley, “He’s okay, I’ve got him, thanks Love.” Shirley sleepily nods and closes her door again.

Scott is sitting up in his bed, no longer sobbing but hiccuping with tears stains running tracks down his cheeks. When Claire lays down beside him he snuggles into her arms immediately, leaving a snotty-wet smear stain right in the center of her shirt, but she can’t say she minds. “Want to tell me about it?”

“It was-” He hiccups again and she rubs his back soothingly, “Scary, big dogs- and I couldn’t find you!”

“I’m right here, I’ll always be here.”

His hands are fisted into her shirt, “But what if I can’t find you?”

“You know how it goes, just like in the grocery store. I’ll find you, no matter what. No matter what.”

He still looks troubled but lets himself be soothed, the exhaustion of the day settling in again.

“You can sleep with us tonight if you want.”

“Shirley says five is too old to sleep in your bed.”

“Well. I’ll tell you a secret,” Scott leans in with his big serious eyes, dying to know, “Shirley would still get nightmares when she was seven.”

Scott giggles with her, “Okay.”

“Okay.” Claire nods, picking him up despite how heavy he’s getting. By the time she’s changed into her pajamas he’s already asleep right in the middle of their bed. Claire scoots him over enough to give herself room and he’s dead to the world, sleeping soundly while she reads and waits for Leon. When Leon finally enters she holds a finger up to her mouth, pointing at their son. Leon only lifts his eyebrows, moving one of Scott’s arms off his pillow as he slides in.

“What are you smiling about?” He asks quietly.

“Just thinking. We’ve been through quite a bit to get here. Reminding myself to be grateful, I guess.” She whispers to him over Scott’s head.

“We’re pretty lucky, for sure.” He reaches for her cheek and she turns her head to kiss his palm. “Really lucky.”

-----

Uh, yeah. Hi. Had no idea how to start with this prompt but ended up having a lot of fun with it? Hope this was something close!

Shirley: 8

Scott: 5

Celia: 5 months

#prompts #my writing #Cleon with kids #cleon #resident evil #claire redfield #leon s kennedy #Chris and Jill are here too #three kids and a dog how much more domestic can we get in here #it's very late and I'm tired I hope there aren't any big typos

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snapemalfoy · 2 years

Text

Seeing Things

Part One: Visiting Hagrid

I decided since I have a 15 minute gap between classes today, that I’ll visit Hagrid. I haven’t been able to pop in to say hello since the start of term.

I tell my friends, Draco, Blaise, Pansy and Goyle where I’ll be and that I’ll meet them in potions before the bell. They tell me to pass on their greetings to Hagrid as well. I promised to do so.

As I make my way down the path, I notice Hagrid outside, working with his pumpkins. His patch has grown significantly since last term. It always amazes me how large his pumpkins get. One stands taller than me if you can believe that.

“Y/n!”

He shouts when he sees me walking up to the gate.

“Hi ya Hagrid. How are you?”

I ask. I consider him a father figure.

“Good. I see yeh got some extra time between classes?”

He questions.

“Yup. I wanted to come say hi since I haven’t gotten an opportunity until now.”

I continue. Trying to make the most of it before having to leave again.

“I’m honored. Professor Dumbledore told me yer pretty busy this year. With quidditch coming up and tons of homework.”

Says Hagrid.

“That’s right. Even though we’re only a month into this term, I’m already pretty exhausted.”

I say.

The clouds above us are moving in quickly. The sky went from bright blue to almost black within minutes. A rumble of thunder cracks loudly over the two of us. Hagrid shoots a look into the sky.

“Yer better get back y/n. The storm that’s brewin’ looks awfully mean.”

Points out Hagrid.

He pulls off his dragon hide gloves and grabs his tools before joining me up to his cabin door. We jump slightly at another crack of thunder.

“I’ll see you around Hagrid!”

I say after making sure he’s inside.

“Better hurry y/n. I’ll see yer later!”

He shouts over the wind. That’s now picking up.

He shuts his cabin door and I take off towards the castle. I’ve taken no more than seven steps when the rain started. It’s so thick I can barely see a foot in front of me. I can’t see the lights on the castle walls either. I become disoriented quickly.

After what feels like hours, I finally see the front steps. I’ve pulled my robe over my front tightly, in hopes my school books aren’t totally ruined. My hood flew off back down the path and there’s no point in putting it back up. My face and hair are soaked.

As I pass one of the last pine trees that sits close to the stone building, out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure. I shake my head, telling myself it’s nothing.

“Y/n”

I stop in my tracks. Turning in the direction my name was called. I realize it came from the figure I was so sure wasn’t there.

“What the hell?”

I whisper to myself, confused as to why someone would be out here. The voice wasn’t Hagrid, but someone more familiar. Someone I speak to everyday..it can’t be.

“Y/n.”

Says the figure again. This time taking steps to close the gap between myself and them. They come to a stop about 6 inches away from me. I look up, wanting to be sure I’m not hallucinating.

“Professor Snape?”

I question.

The corner of his lips turn up into what seems to be a smile. He doesn’t say another word. He stands there for another second before apparating. Leaving me alone yet again.

At this, I’m a bit spooked. I bolt inside the building. Heading directly to my potions class. Unaware of how late I am at this point.

Inside I can hear my fellow classmates turning pages and scribbling on their parchment.

I grip the knob, turning is hesitantly. Pushing the door open.

“Y/l/n. Are you aware your class started ten minutes ago? What was the hold up? And why are you wet?”

He asks, one of his eyebrows going up.

I stand there somewhat stunned. Not processing everything too well.

“Never mind that. Just take your seat.”

Speaks Professor Snape. He pulls out his wand and performs an instant dry spell. My robe, my hair, my skin, shoes and socks are dry. Feeling like they just came out from being hung in the sun.

I hurry to my seat. All of my friends look at me worriedly. Wondering what took me that long. They know I’m never one to be late.

“Y/n. What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

Questions Draco in a whisper.

“Has Professor Snape left at all before I came in?”

I ask back in a whisper. Opening my book to chapter 7.

“No. He was in here when all of us arrived. Been in here since. Why?”

Replies Draco.

“Because I saw him. Two minutes ago. Outside, I spoke to him.”

I answer back. Remembering him calling my name clear as day. Just the way he spoke to me when I entered.

“How- is that possible?”

Draco questions.

“I don’t know…”

I answer my friend. I try to engulf myself in to todays reading assignment.

***

I perk my head up ever so slightly when I hear y/n and Mr. Malfoy whispering. Wondering if they’ll admit to their friend why they were late. Y/n isn’t one to be late. Without good excuse that is.

“Has Professor Snape left at all, before I came in?”

Y/n asks her friend.

My curiosity peaked. I decide to start a round to see if any of my students need help, hoping to get a better listen to y/n’s conversation. Luckily for me, Mr. Potter caught my attention, asking me about something in the chapter. Lucky for me, he sits right in front of y/n.

“No. He was in here when all of us arrived. Been in here since. Why?”

Asks Mr. Malfoy.

“Because I saw him. Two minutes ago. Outside, I spoke to him.”

Replies y/n.

My heart stops. How is that possible? I haven’t been outside at all today. I never step foot outside unless I have too. Which isn’t common.

I must ask them about it…

#pro severus #severus x reader #Snape #Severus #Severus Snape #yn story #scary #Severus Snape story

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loverontheleft · 2 years

Text

Sugar-Proofed

(Shower Sex) Day 17 of @brendons-sugar-soaker’s 30-day smut challenge

-||-

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thudthudthudthud.

“What the fuck,” you mumble, rolling over and pressing your face into your pillow. “What the hell is that?” You lift your head and roll toward your bathroom where the sound is echoing. “Bren, are you jerking off in there? Can you do it quieter so you don’t taunt me, or…fuck, just come do it out here so I can watch?”

There’s no response to your raised voice or questions, and you press your face back to the pillow. The thudding continues, and you groan, finally pushing yourself upright and crawling from bed to join your husband in the shower.

As you stumble into the bathroom, the thudding stops, so you call out to him again. “My love, you’ve been home for 72 hours and we’ve fucked for most of them; I’m so sorry I fell asleep on your cock last night, but surely you’re not still hor—what are you doing?”

Brendon is in the shower, a small rubber mallet tucked in his boxers, and he’s holding up what looks like— “is that a yoga mat?”

“Sugar!” He turns to you, delighted. “It is. I found one abandoned in the garage. This isn’t it; I left that one for you because I thought you might want to use it.”

You lounge against the glass shower door, amused. “Okay, so that is not my yoga mat. You bought a yoga mat? I’m a little confused why you’re…are you nailing it to our shower wall?”

“Command hooks,” Brendon corrects, still grinning broadly. You gesture at the mallet and he looks almost surprised to see it there. “Oh, that. I was just reinforcing the adhesive. They say to apply pressure to the hook once you’ve mounted it, so I thought pressure from a mallet would be effective.” His brow furrows. “Fuck, I woke you. I’m sorry, Sugar. You need your rest.”

“Woke up to repetitive thudding; thought you were in here violently masturbating,” you tease, and he laughs, shaking his head and holding out a hand to you. You accept it and step inside the large walk-in shower. Your foot doesn’t meet cool tile, it’s softer, warmer, it’s— “are these yoga mats on the floor?”

“Yup.” Brendon looks so proud of himself. “Don’t worry, those aren’t glued down. I used suction cups for the floor ones. I figure gravity will help keep them in place as we walk on them. And the ones for the walls, I’ve already put grommets in them so they won’t tear, and they’ll just hang on the hooks.”

“…How long have I been asleep?”

“I had the idea around 4am, and got to work around 5:30, 6. It’s 11 now.”

“Wait, back up. We own a grommet press?”

“I got one,” he says with a shrug. “When I was out picking up all the other yoga mats.”

“B, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to help me here. Why are you wallpapering our shower with yoga mats?”

His smile widens, and he pulls you against him so he can tuck you under his chin and wrap his arms around you. “I’m Sugar-proofing the shower.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Sugar-proofing it. We can’t slip or fall in here now because the floor is grippy. And the walls will be too. Now I can press you against the wall and lift you up and you won’t slip down. The ones on the floor are thick; floor won’t hurt our knees.” He waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively. “It’s Sugar-proofed.”

“I’m very clumsy,” you agree, laughing a little and looking at all of the hooks he’s pressed against your shower wall. “Do you really plan to cover all of the walls in yoga mats?”

“Oh— no. Just the length of this interior wall,” Brendon says. “I’m not going to cover up the glass sections or anything. Wanna be able to watch you from the counter when you feel like being my slutty girl. Want you to be able to watch me from the tub. Love when you’re totally relaxed, touching yourself in the tub, and I get to show off for you by stroking my cock. Fuck, love touching myself for you.” His eyes are far away, and you bring him back with a soft hand on his face.

“This,” you murmur, going on tip-toe to kiss him, “is a brilliant idea.”

“Oh good! I was worried you’d hate it. I know you’re not exactly a fan of shower sex.”

“No no no,” you correct. “I’m not a fan of busting my ass in the shower because my husband wanted to fuck me against the wall and we lost our balance on a slippery wet floor and toppled over. I’m a huge fan of showers, showers with you, and sex with you. So if you’ve found a way to ‘Sugar-proof’ our shower, I’m fully on board.”

“I’m pretty sure I have,” Brendon murmurs, kissing the top of your head. “But we won’t know for sure until we try.”

-||-

“Bren!” You squeal, laughing as he presses you against one of the yoga mats on the wall with your legs around his waist. He raises an eyebrow, and you know what he’s asking. “No, I feel pretty stable. Feel good.”

“Let’s try something else,” he murmurs, setting you back down, squatting a little. “Legs over my shoulders, Sug. Yes, one at a time, good. Good?” He looks at you and you lean back against the wall, nodding a little. “K, up we go.” He straightens, placing his hands under your thighs and pressing you higher.

“You’re just using me for your strength training,” you accuse, shrieking with laughter and only a little nervousness when he winks and pushes you even higher

“I’m using you for a lot of things,” Brendon says, grinning. “Right now— lean back, sweetness, give yourself some leverage, cross your legs on my back if you want — I’m using you to satisfy my cravings.” His hands curve against your ass and he presses closer, making you spread your legs wider.

“Cravings?” You ask a little breathlessly, and he nods, teasing you with his tongue and letting his eyes flutter shut with longing.

“Cravingth,” he agrees, muffled by your body, and you moan happily as he works over your core with long strokes before flicking his tongue against your clit.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” you sigh, running your fingers through his wet hair. “Lick just like…god, don’t stop. Keep going, B, your tongue is incredible. This yoga mat wall thing is a game changer.”

He jerks back from you, mouth smeared and shining, eyes heavy. “Right?” He sounds so proud of himself, and you laugh, tugging at his hair and guiding his mouth back.

“Fuck, this feels so good. Wait, you can’t touch yourself like this,” you realize. “You’re holding me up on your fucking shoulders and you’ve got both hands on my ass— B, you’ve gotta be so hard.”

“So goddamn hard,” Brendon agrees, running his tongue over you and licking contentedly. “Fuck, I’m rock hard for you, Sugar.”

“Wanna feel it,” you insist, and he pouts at you playfully. “Know you wanna make me come on your face, but fuck, I wanna come on your cock. We’re in here, I can…I won’t feel so…You know I’m self-conscious about how hard you make me come—”

“I think it’s so fucking sexy,” Brendon murmurs, stroking your thighs fondly. “Love it. Love how you let go for me, soak our sheets, soak my face, soak my cock. Why do you think I wrote the song? Want to encourage you.”

“Yes B, I know,” you say, laughing a little and cupping his face. “And the song has somehow helped a ton and also made me even more self-conscious because now everyone knows but…fuck, I love you so much and you make me come so goddamn hard. I can’t help it. And if we’re in here, I feel like I won’t mind as much.”

“God, as if I’d really say no to that,” Brendon says, helping you down. “Plus, this way we can see if the floor mats work too.” Once you’re steady on your feet, he kisses you hard and teases your entrance with two fingers while the other hand wraps around his cock. “How do you want it, sweetness?”

“Deep and hard,” you murmur, spreading your legs and reclining against the wall as he runs a hand with silicone lube over his length.

“Hell yeah,” Brendon groans, kissing you again and rocking his hips forward. “Fuck, I missed you, Sugar. I’m never leaving again. Never again.”

“You don’t mean that,” you laugh, lifting a leg to wrap his waist. “But it’s okay, I— shit, keep fucking me like this and I’ll forgive you for leaving. God, these mats— I can stay balanced! I can keep a leg high and fuck, you’re so deep like this, oh my goddddd…”

“Best idea,” Brendon grunts, gripping your thigh on his hip. “Should’ve done this so much sooner.” He’s thrusting hard, his face buried in your neck, and you’re breathing hard, pushing back for more, scratching at his back. “God, Sugar, keep doing that, mark me up, feels so fucking good.”

“Claim what’s mine?” You ask breathlessly, and he nods, biting at your neck.

“Yours,” he groans, picking up his pace. “God, yours. I’m yours. All of me, yours.”

“Mine. Your face, your body, your cock, your heart — mine.”

“Those weren’t ranked in any particular order, right?” He’s grinning at you, and you tug his hair, laughing. “Kidding, Sug. Rank my assets however you want, just want them all to be yours.”

“Oh, you are all mine,” you assure him, and he nods in satisfaction, gasping when you squeeze around him. “Now and forever.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Brendon murmurs, kissing down your neck and nibbling more. “Now, why are you holding out on me?” He bites lightly, flexing his fingers, smiling when you sigh his name. “There’s my girl. Right where she’s supposed to be, on my cock, pressing down for more; fuck, you take my cock so good. Fucking made for each other; take it sweetheart, take this cock and come for me.”

He pins your hands above your head and takes a step back so he’s filling you at a different angle. It makes you catch your breath; he’s rubbing against you perfectly and you can feel your orgasm building, a dull heat in your core that’s spreading and coiling. “Goddamn, sweet girl, you are fucking perfect.”

“God, you are. And these mats,” you groan, tensing around him. “Fuck me, that’s so good. Right there. Right like this— oh fuck, fuck, fuck, harder B, you’re gonna make me — oh shit!”

“Let go for me, Sug,” Brendon pants in your ear, thrusting hard and tilting his pelvis just a little so he’s curving back and pressing into you. “Come for me, come all over my cock. Claim it with your sweet cunt.”

“Oh fuck!” Your back arches off the wall to the point where just your shoulders are braced, and Brendon takes a step forward to press you closer. You’re shaking around him, tight and trembling; he’s groaning, fucking you through your climax and praising you as you come undone.

He knows exactly what to do; his timing has always been perfect. He takes a step back and slides from you, but immediately drops to his knees and presses his face between your thighs. You shriek and tug at his hair while his tongue rubs insistently at your clit, and you know his face is going to be absolutely covered in you by the time he’s done. Just teasing your clit like that has you thrashing and coming again, and he’s shifted so his mouth is covering you; he’s licking and sucking with greedy moans in between the strokes of his tongue.

You can hear the slick sound of his hand around his cock, and he’s jerking off urgently while his tongue works you. Your orgasm has left you feeling warm, wet, and totally relaxed; you can feel how wet your thighs are and the scratch of his stubble as he works and spreads it around is such a tease for you. If he keeps eating you out like this, there’s a very real chance you’ll come again.

His fist is flying over his length, and he takes a quick pause to rub his hand over his face just to get the feeling of you on his cock. “Shit, Bren, don’t stop. Love seeing your hand wrapped around your thick cock while you eat my pussy. Stroke that cock for me, my love. Get yourself off with my wet cunt on your face.” When he finally comes, it’s with a loud groan and he swears, still pressing his face to your core and lapping at you, desperate for everything he can get.

“Fuck,” you gasp, legs trembling and knees feeling weak. “Bren, I gotta sit down, baby, just let me…”

He wrenches his hand off his cock and guides you down, but instead of sitting, he gets you sprawled out on the shower floor and shifts to lay between your legs, still eating you out and now working two fingers in roughly because he knows you can take it. “Oh my god, that’s gonna make me come,” you moan, gripping his hair and rolling your hips up to his mouth, grinding your clit against his tongue. “You want me to come, B? Fuck, eat it baby, eat it, curl with your fingers I’m gonna fucking explode— oh fuck yes!” It’s simultaneously tightening tension and complete release; you’re not sure what you’re saying but you can both hear the gratitude in your tone. He knows how good you feel as this climax overcomes your body.

Brendon groans, suckling hard and gripping your hips. When you’re no longer shaking, he licks over you with long, savoring movements, and then crawls up over your body. “So,” he pants, dipping low to kiss you. “What do we think of the mats?”

“I think,” you manage, “that you have managed to Sugar-proof our shower. You may never take another chaste shower again. Can’t wait to try you fucking me from behind. You know I love your hands on my hips, your big, hard cock pounding into my cunt from behind, my face pressed against a wall and your mouth next to my ear, whispering dirty shit about how you’re going to come in me and you want me to be your best girl and take it all.”

“Fuck yeah,” Brendon groans, rolling onto his back beside you and letting the hot water spray over you both. “Love that. Love you. Love this. A Sugar-proofed shower for my Sugar soaker.”

#brendon urie smut #30 day smut challenge #my work #brendon urie #brendon urie imagine #brendon x reader #fanfic #imagine

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blognierica · 7 months

Text

Ikaw ay Akin: A Teaser and Key and Peele: Girltalk

by Erica Porcincula | HUM1201-A

youtube

Nora: Omg, is that actually you? Vilma: Yeah, it’s me! It’s been so long. Nora: How have you been? Vilma: I’ve been good, it’s so nice to see you. You’ve changed a lot. Nora: Yeah, I have. Vilma: Can we talk for a sec? We should pick up where we left off. I feel bad for what I did to you. Nora: You’re forgiven. Everything is good. Don’t worry. Vilma: Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like it. Nora: Trust me, I’m okay! Vilma: I will carry that burden with me for the rest of my life. I will never forgive myself. Nora: Please don’t do that. Vilma: I can’t help it, I really can’t. Nora: Well, I can’t stop you. But just know I’ve forgiven you. Vilma: Okay.. but.. Nora: But what? Vilma: Do you still want to be friends? I want to start over again. Nora: Are you crazy? Yes, I’ve forgiven you. But I don’t think we’ll ever be the same again. Vilma: Oh, that’s okay. I completely understand. Nora: I’m glad you do. Sorry for the sudden burst of feelings. Vilma: It’s fine. But just know that I’ll always be here for you. I’m one call away. Nora: Okay.. Vilma: I still care. Very much. Nora: Oh.. Vilma: Not a day goes by where I don’t regret what I did. Nora: I honestly don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to help you. Vilma: You don’t have to help me.. I’ll be fine. I can handle this on my own. Nora: Okay, if you say so. Vilma: I’m so glad we had this talk. Nora: I never thought I needed this. Vilma: Me too. Oh, I should get going now. Goodbye.. and take care.

youtube

“Oh, tell me all about it!” “You go, girl!” “Sure, girl.” “I totally agree. We should do that.” “Yes, one chance!” “Yes, one chance! One chance!” “Um, why?” “Okay, sure.. Weird.” “Now we’re talking!” “Yeeessss!” “What?” “Ugh, okay..” “Um, but, girl..” “Uh-uh..” “Keep talking..” “And then?” “Yeah, whatever you just said..” “Hmmm.. I don’t know about that..” “Alright, uh..” “Girl, hold on..” “Girl, stop that.” “This is getting ridiculous..” “STOP IT! Stop giving him chances! I’ve had enough!” “Yup. You should understand.” “Yes, girl. You need to calm down for a bit.” “As you should!” “Ooohhh, I totally get why you keep coming back.”

#Youtube

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returntosaturn271995 · 9 months

Text

A manic-depressive guide to going on a run

Step one: wait until you’re manic.

I’m totally kidding. You’ve got to save that shit for your capitalist gig. It takes a certain kind of energy to send an email with an appropriate amount of exclamation points. (None makes you read overly-serious, more than two makes you look like an idiot. I don’t make the rules.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, running while depressed, the dynamic duo of never-gunna-happen. Oil and water, a dentist appointment after a music festival, anal sex and Indian food.

They should just exist separately.

After all, running of any kind is about effort. Even the relaxed gentle kind of run, the kind you can breathe during. It’s about warming up your body and pushing forward. Mentally and physically.

Depression is about staying put. Stuck flat on your back in a desolate emotional tundra and not caring if birds of prey peck your eyes out. One of my favorite tweets ever described it thus: “I want a Paranormal Activity movie with all depressed people. That way when furniture moves in the middle of the night, they just roll over and go “whatever”.”

I love that attitude, I’ve had that attitude. You can take my soul, satan, if you can even get anything from someone so dead inside. Just leave me the bed and the pillow I use to separate my knees.

Some say you need a good reason to run. Maybe that’s why you googled “running and depression” to begin with. But reasons only work when you’re already inspired. The have a markedly less persuasive effect when grief sits on your chest or anxiety sends sharp little pangs to your lower stomach.

Here’s how some decent rationale have gone over with bed-ridden me in the past.

You’ll feel better.

No I won’t. I’ll feel this way forever. Moods don’t exist and cycles don’t apply to me. I know I’ve said that before, but this time I’m sure.

You know you’ll feel better

I don’t want to feel better. I deserve this.

(Yup, a real response, I even used to withhold my medication from myself when I was hungover as ‘punishment’”)

Do it for Mom

Ugh, now I just feel lazy and guilty

Do it for Dad

The man who gave me these short shins? He’s done enough.

Do it to look good naked

For the sex drive I don’t have?

Run because…feminism?

Go fuck yourself.

Run because it’s good for you

I’m tired. Couldn’t I just go in to a coma, instead?

Run because you can

I can’t.

You can.

Fine. Then I won’t.

It goes on and on. Reason doesn’t work when you’re in a state that supersedes logic. Here’s the thing, the voice in your head isn’t the enemy. It’s trying to protect you in its own way. Shutting you down until you can turn on again, like a buffering web page or an iPhone you left in the sun too long.

It’s not about the benefits of running. You already know on some level you can do it. You already know it will improve your life and that you actually will feel better once you start.

It’s just so fucking impossible to start.

The end!

Kidding again. See how much fun we’re having?

So here’s my brutally honest experience with running when you’re burnt out and down. To keeping it up even when you almost shit yourself. (If you’re a runner this has never happened to, I do not believe you. Even if you’re telling the truth, I need to believe it’s universal, okay?).

So before I get in to everything else, inspiring or just morbidly funny, here’s the most horrible truth of all: it’s totally worth it and you’re absolutely capable. No-shut up. Seriously- shut up. Running is depression’s kryptonite, its natural predator. It isn’t about speed or distance or your shoes or the app or the size of your ass or the instagram of the 5 K. It isn’t about your ex or your future ex or your insurance premium. I know how easy it is not to care about that shit. Why that kind of thing has never been enough to get in the habit of running in the past.

For me, running is about getting out of bed. It’s about changing clothes and listening to music and going outside. It’s about keeping a simple promise to myself, “today, if you do nothing else, you will run for a little bit”. Then you can go back to happily rotting, I promise. It’s not about anything else other than getting a little sunlight and telling yourself that at least you fucking tried. That it’s a literal positive step.

The best source of energy is purpose. Purpose is what keeps you going when fatigue trumps reason. But that’s something I learned later.

For right now, it’s all just baby steps. Getting up, changing your clothing, and going outside. You don’t even have to wash your hair. All joggers are filthy anyways (another lesson for another day).

You already feel like shit. Doesn’t matter how you’re currently coping. Might as well feel like shit and get a little cardio. But that’s all I’m ever coaching because the rest is just my experiences. The things I’ve learned. Running doesn’t cure anything, but it's helping me become the person who can heal myself a little easier.

It’s a tool that’s there for you, if you want it.

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imakuvii · 2 years

Text

Alright Night Work and School Your not going home forever lol minions that’s it bubble blow yup no more talking I’m a old h there we’ll sorry and go bye byes omg it’s very dreadful here power is weak lol we’ll I’m breaking up with you you heard me Batman right there duu you have to wait if your staying in light work and schooling kiss me goodbye fighting oo passport please there’s more sure snack from area to yours yup total road there usually it’s like 24 days of light then dark separately the clothes omg it’s so imperfected wow is these I’m leaving I mean we know the very bad S of darkness lazy gifted trick or whatever it’s over Brad Pitt got a passport ok we’ll they to I have to two there sopping me for sleeping over night woow these is beautiful welll from a totally loving issue yup we need to unwide we’ll not in the day that’s like total security yes we do have get away with it dangerous as a mf yup I keep telling there gonna make me a dirty boy if you can’t let go and move the earth ok yeah me to but I need to the dark side cause they have my friends and family there 🙁 does any one need a gas traveler instead of waiting in line from going and back cause there’s like a big line yes I am on it electric there’s a other one around some where in Up Town Behave as a product for cars so just batteries and company’s from company’s I’m not really in charge they are it’s let out by the way yeah I’m just letting it go finding a upper slope sence where going to objectives I’m so sorry I’m so f worried I’m back right now actually thank you my god horrible no way these is see anyways I know read it to Eric hangout with them Whoopi’s wow oh my god ooo yeah… thank Godiva that your probably hey hey hey seriously I’ve been telling them no I feel like a funny flake sheet honestly like there was nothing there suck up lick up murder on there mind no no stop what happened I’m tired I’m tired f y f y f y what’s going on in here listen closely yeah no why totally vision terror son of a b see I couldn’t love you enough hold up we’ve been here but with war thank you gold digger wow I mean I made him operate on all the toys of film he totally k a even me hey it’s my family you to anyways ow I love you alright good shake it woow actually put it where it was no Elon musk was messing with Twitter when I was there and I’m trying to pull in but I did get it and it’s not for him apparently someone dipped him no I have what it okay you have closed me yeah not cool yup I omg

#orpha #whoopi goldberg

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musings-of-a-rose · 2 years

Note

If the Anon from the Benny Miller request does not ask for a part 2 I will request it on behalf of all the lovers of this story! Oh and Frankie with a chubby F reader that is a bit more jaded because she has been bullied all her life about her weight and anything else for my own needy request ?

What You Do To Me

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Plus sized f!reader

Word Count: 1800+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This isn’t beta’d so the mistakes were *totally* on purpose. Yup.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

Frankie wasn’t sure how Benny had convinced him to come to a club instead of their usual bar, but here he was, head pounding in time with the loud music. He looks out over the packed club, people crammed into corners, bodies rubbing against each other on the dance floor, multicolored lights casting interesting shadows across the room.

“Ben! Why the fuck are we here?” Frankie practically yells to his friend.

“Because you need to broaden your prospects!”

“I don’t need to broaden anything!”

“When’s the last time you got laid?”

He had him there. But he didn’t want to just get laid. He wanted an actual relationship.

“Doubt I’ll find someone here!”

Benny rolls his eyes. “Just give it a chance, Fish!”

Frankie had been trying to give this place a chance for at least 45 minutes. There’s too many people, it’s too loud to talk to anyone. It was a good idea Benny had, in theory, but this just wasn’t Frankie’s crowd. He turns to his friend, intending to tell him he’s leaving, but he glances through a part in the crowd and sees the most beautiful woman he’s even seen. His eyes roam over her body and he can feel himself getting warm, and not from the bodies around him trying to get him to dance.

“Ben!”

Benny turns to him, his hips moving to the song. “Cat?”

“Think you could do me a favor?”

—----

“Gotta pee, Chip. Watch my drink? And like try to find someone you like the look of?” Your friend Lily heads towards the bathrooms while you pull her drink to you, covering it with a napkin and placing your hand on top.

Sighing, you take another sip of your drink, watching the people in front of you girate on each other on the dance floor. It was way too loud in here - how were you supposed to find someone you might like if you can’t even think?

“It’s too fucking loud in here, right?”

You glance up and have to choke back a gasp. The man is beautiful. Dark brown eyes, a distinct Romanesque nose, a patchy beard and mustache, soft brown curls flip out around the edges of his hat. His shoulders are broad, tapering down to smaller hips, with the hint of a tummy swell. He’s the hottest guy you’ve ever seen, to be honest.

“It is. Can’t hear myself think.”

The man nods, obviously lost as to what to say next. He seems to make up his mind, nodding slightly before addressing you again. “I saw you sitting here and knew I had to come say hi. Or yell it.” He chuckles, gesturing towards his ears.

“You saw me?”

He nods. “Yeah. I was about to leave when I saw your g-gorgeous face-”

“My gorgeous face?”

He blushes, a beautiful shade of pink across his cheeks as he glances away from you and back. “Y-yeah. The most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”

You study him for a moment, not really believing him. You’re never the one hit on - well that’s not true. You’re always the one that gets the friend, the one that comes over to distract you while their buddy flirts with your friend, never actually interested in you. When you don’t answer, he sticks his hand out.

“Frankie.”

Looking down at his hand, you don’t shake it before meeting his eyes again. “Why are you here?”

Frankie puts his hand down, the blush darkening on his cheeks. “I-I thought you were h-hot and I figured I’d try and say hi?”

“Really?” One of your eyebrows raise in disbelief.

“I swear.”

Just then, you look over his shoulder, seeing a tall blonde man chatting up your friend on her way back from the bathroom and you realize you’re right - Frankie was the friend sent to distract you. What little hope you had that maybe, just maybe, he was telling the truth dissipated.

“It’s ok, Frankie. I know why you’re really here.”

He furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s a common thing for men to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Send their buddy over to distract the duff so they can talk to the friend.”

Frankie’s eyes widen as realization hits him. “That’s not it at all. I came over because I wanted to talk to you.”

You roll your eyes. “Look, I get it. I know what I am. So I release you from your friend obligation. I’ll leave them alone.”

“That’s not what I want.”

“Frankie, really, it’s fine-”

“No, it isn’t. You’re fucking hot and should know it.”

This man just doesn’t stop.

“Frankie, just go tell your friend I’ll leave, ok? Don’t drag this out.”

He hesitates a moment. “Alright, fine. You got it right.”

You gesture to him in a knowing way.

“But you’ve got it flipped.”

Now it’s your turn to furrow your brows. “What?”

“A buddy was sent here to distract a friend, but it was my buddy Benny-” he gestures over his shoulder towards the tall man chatting with your friend “-who was sent to distract your friend. I really wanted to talk to you.”

You search his face for any trace of lying but find none. He seems honest, genuine, and trustworthy.

“I’m just..I get nervous when I have to talk to a pretty girl and Benny removed your friend so I could talk to you without an..audience judging me.”

“Y-you’re serious?”

He smiles nervously. “I am.”

You’re shocked - this is new territory for you. “I..I don’t know what to say…I mean, I’m sorry for jumping at you-”

Frankie waves his hand. “It’s alright. I-I’m sorry you had to experience those boys trying to take advantage of you.”

You nod. “It is what it is.”

“So..what’s your name?”

You tell him. “But call me Chip.”

“Chip?”

You sigh, covering your face before removing your hands. “Short for Chipmunk.” Frankie’s eyebrows raise in question. “My sister called me that when I was born and it sort of stuck. She had a chipmunk phase.”

Frankie smiles, warmth radiating off of him. “I love it!”

You both chat and flirt for a few more minutes and you see your friend head to the dance floor with his friend, Benny.

“Listen, Chip - this place is giving me a headache. Do you wanna get something to eat?”

“Fuck yes. I’ve had a headache since I walked in.”

Relief washes over his expression. “Thank God. I would’ve cried if you said no.”

Chuckling, you both silently signal to your friends that you were leaving with each other, your friend making obvious lewd gestures between you and Frankie and you groan, hoping Frankie doesn’t notice.

Following Frankie outside, you tell him where you’re parked and he follows you over. When you make it to your car, you turn and lean against it, Frankie standing in front of you, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

“This is much better. Plus I can see you better now.”

“You still have time to run, Frankie.” You let out a little self depricating laugh, but a different look washes ove Frankie.

“The only place I’d run to is your bedroom.”

Fuck.

“I-I’ll give you my address.”

He chuckles and takes a step closer to you, the lust that had been in his eyes moments before replaced by - is that fear?

“So before we get food, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Married?”

He laughs. “No. I never actually married her. But I do have a 5 year old daughter, Lucia. She’s my world. Spends half her time at her mom’s and the rest with me.” Frankie looks at you like he expects you to run.

You let out a sigh of relief. “That’s it? I thought you were going to tell me you were into running 5ks on Christmas Day or something.”

He laughs. “Fuck no! But seriously - this doesn’t bother you?”

“You having a daughter?”

He nods, his dark brown eyes wide and puppy-like. As if you could deny this man anything, especially with that look.

“Not at all. You seem like an amazing dad.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Definitely dilf material.”

“Dilf?”

“Yeah, you know? Dad I’d Like to Fuck?”

Frankie closes the distance between you in a few steps, pressing his leg between your thighs as his lips find yours, holding your face in his hands as you kiss him back, your hands winding around his neck. You play with his curls and feel him moan into you, his leg pushing a little higher and you break the kiss to moan his name.

“You’re so fucking hot, Chip.” He kisses down your neck, lightly grinding his leg into your core and your hands scramble to hold onto him.

“Frankie,” you whine out his name and he growls into you.

“I want to take you on a date, but fuck I wanna go back to your place and just fuck-”

Ring ring!

“Shit, hold on a sec Chip. I’m sorry.” Frankie pulls away, fumbling in his pocket for the ringing phone. He glances at the screen and his expression shifts to concern.

“It’s my babysitter.”

You gesture for him to answer, knowing it must be important.

“When?...How much?...Ok thanks Amanda. Yeah I’m on my way.” Frankie hangs up, shoving the phone back in his pocket.

“Chip-”

You shake your head. “Frankie it’s your kid. She’s way more important than me.”

“It’s just, she’s puking everywhere and-”

“Frankie, it’s ok. Go take care of her.” You can see the concern on his face, but feel some of it directed at you.

“Can I still take you out for dinner sometime?”

“You- you still wanna take me out?”

“Fuck yes.”

You swap numbers quickly, Frankie promising to text you later once he’s got Lucia taken care of. Waving him off, he places one last kiss to your lips as he practically runs to his truck, heading home to take care of his daughter.

That’s the last time I’ll see that man. You think sadly.

—----

A couple hours later, you sit on your couch, having just gotten out of the shower when your phone beeps. Picking it up, you’re shocked to see a text from Frankie.

Frankie: Did you get home ok?

I did. Thanks for asking. How is Lucia? Is she ok?

Frankie: Yeah. I finally got her to stop barfing everywhere. She just fell asleep. I figured I’d better text so I don’t wake her up.

That’s good she’s ok. And I understand about the texting - although I do miss your voice.

Frankie: My voice?

Oh come on. You don’t know you have a sexy voice?

Frankie: I do?

Feeling boldened by the use of text, you decide to go for it. Oh yeah. Turns me on just thinking about it.

A minute goes by and you think you've scared him off, but then he sends an audio message. You press play, hearing how low and quiet his voice is.

Frankie: [audio] Well this is going to make dinner much more interesting. I can’t wait to watch you squirm while I talk. And whenever you’re ready, I’ll show you exactly what you do to me.

—----

What You Do to Me Part 2>>

General Taglist:

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