#I brotherzoned them...I brotherzoned myself...

[appreciatingtokrev]

For the character bingo:

Hanma, Shinichiro, Takemitchy, Senju

first of all ty for giving me characters to talk abt i was excitedly waiting for someone to send me some lmao

also i will give explanations for some things i ticked off bc i cannot contain myself. okay i am insane about hanma that is technically all you need to know but i am a chronic over-explainer so. in my head he’s a timeleaper okay i am still 100% sure that wakui intended for him to be one idc that is his wasted potential n why he was done dirty by the creator. i would never wanna meet irl hanma bc if he liked me (similar way to kisaki) he would be like a little brother to me and i don’t think i could brotherzone hanma and end up on good terms still so no ty. and if he wouldn’t like me chances he beats me up or even worse are way higher than i’d like them to be so no ty. also despite that i am still a simp for hanma and do not see him as a brother or anything i just i’d view him v different if he existed irl. also he does wrong in his life <3 and i love that about him. and yes one day i hope i will write a fic about him getting homo-erotically stabbed to death by kisaki because i want to see him bleed and die and suffer

the love of my life what am i to say. in my head we are married i am just as insane abt him as abt hanma and i’ve seen one too many god awful takes by the fandom on him </3

no clue what a too big part of the fandom is doing with him but it’s WRONG i am not even really insane abt him there’s just so many bad takes idfk anymore atp 😭😭 ig protagonist issues. anyways i love him but ngl i don’t think abt him much. also i hate/dislike nearly any takemichi ships except for any of the mizo mid, hina, and mikey but maitake is something only i am right about too. as well as maitakehina. i’ve warmed up to takefuyu and takenao they’re both okay to me but no ty to any other takemichi ships is just. no.

i kinda dislike her and i feel bad about it 😭😭 i also don’t care about her for some reason at all idk. all my love for the akashi siblings fr is stored in sanzu adhjfhgs tho i think she was rushed/wasted by wakui. also ngl i forgot most abt her but i plan on re-reading the whole of tokrev and one of my goals is to try and stop disliking/start liking her so i will give her extra attention whenever i do bc really i have no reasons to dislike her but i still do 😭

#ask game #tokrev #hanma #shinichiro #takemichi #senju #☆—`ask

[hiriajuu-suffering]

Sibling Only in Name

I got to think...a lot about why I feel so alone and bored all the time. No, it's not some pedantic answer about me being abused above and back by the social environment that was supposed to shelter me. I mean, it certainly happened but that's not the derivative reason. Why was I so deeply alienated and be made to fail? A lack of love gave me more ability to connect, not less. I'm a lot of things only in name and appearance: Sugar Land Ismaili, leader, well-connected, looked after, confident, self-assured, complete. One thing I know I am is a little brother. Arguably to too many out there.

Since I don't have an older sister, not in the true sense of the word, anyways. Elder sisters look after you and advise you on learning how to be yourself, all mine ever wanted to do was make me more normal, more like her. Elder sisters know the strength of your mind and character, so they will nudge their friends and their siblings in your direction, mine either took them for herself or pushed them away entirely. Elder sisters will make a point to make sure their little brothers can become a man she's not ashamed of introducing people to and calling family, that's all mine ever was of me. I was dragged places, not welcomed. I was lauded, not cherished. I was always the drag, never a contribution.

Now I'm expected to sit back and celebrate her thirty-second year of total consumption with her own self-investment? I've seen her be capable of being a good person, just never to me. She's always been everything that got in the way of me living my life while opening up doors for me I never asked for simultaneously.

I could never hate my own flesh and blood as much as I want to. She hates me, certainly, but I never found it in myself to treat her less than family. Even if I can't honestly say she's my sister. We have the same parents. That's a far cry from being treated well as a sibling.

As much as I can relish her selfishness left her alone, I've always been alone. Whatever fate she bares, mine is always worse. No matter how I differentiated myself, I could never uncloak myself from her shadow unless I made her alien entirely. Every Ismaili in this godforsaken town knows me more as someone else's family member more than myself, but being her brother stung the most. The amount of times I'd be undermined, by people my same age or younger than me, for just being her brother. Even my closest friends were doing it. There's an endless list of faces that wouldn't grow close to me because I was brotherzoned before I even had a chance, when I never had anyone treat me like a sibling to begin with.

Maybe that's why I'm so lost, so jaded. She got to leave everything behind and form a life all her own. Meanwhile all the damage she did, the scars she left behind, I have to live with. If I can ever escape to a place where no one knows her, the place will never know her, the same way my supposed home never knew me. It's not so much for revenge, it's just finally being able to ease the pain.

So yeah, happy birthday. From your little brother, but you're not my big sister.

#personal

[touchmycoat]

I love the porn AU so much but I have a guilty confession; I’m fond of SJ and SY as a ship in general, and the way you write them is so so good, I still ship them a little. 😔

LISTEN I got the Shen Yuan/Shen Jiu tag open on AO3 on my phone right now I feel you fam. I was seriously 🤏🏼 this close to trying to make it work. I love them loving each other! I love them having overcome history together! I love Jiu-ge putting medicine in Shen Yuan’s ass when Shen Yuan’s passed out!

And I kind of want to give Liu Qingge a little of that twin fantasy...Not that he’s any less devoted than LBH and YQY to their respective Shen brothers!! Just that LBH+9 have baggage and 9 would get VERY insecure if 7 and SY ever fucked for real for real, I think. LQG gets to lust after both the love of his life and fucking Shen Jiu a la Eggplant Anon’s brilliant ask re: Liujiu painplay...

#anon #asks #Shen Yuan #Shen Jiu #hahahahha me too #I was really two seconds away from going #incest? why not? #jdjdjdjdnfmfn #I brotherzoned them...I brotherzoned myself...

[dreamypope]

my biggest fear is that jj or pope will refer to the other as their brother at some point, especially since jj might be living with pope. i can deal with them not being canon, but if one of them brotherzones the other, it'll just really bum me out. i hope they just stick to calling each other family, yk? i'll never stop shipping them, but it'll be so annoying if we're constantly hit over the head with, "he's the brother i never had" or something, but if that does happen, i guess i'll just tell myself that they're in denial. i mean, that is a common trope in shows where character a will tell character b that they're like a sibling to them because they're hiding from their true romantic feelings for that person, so if that does happen, that's how i'm gonna interpret it. it's just that if obx does this, it's not gonna be because they intend for jjpope to be in denial and later get together, but because they really do intend for them to be like siblings. even though i have accepted they probably won't ever be canon, i still like having hope. and this would just destroy any hope i have. my thoughts are so conflicting and a mess omg. sorry, i'm rambling dkfsjdlfkjd what are your thoughts on this??

first of all hey i love it so much that you come screaming to my ask hahha! keep doing it

uhh honestly this would suck big time if they went down that route BUT i kinda want to hope they won't. the pogues as a whole have had and probably will continue to have that family dynamic but it's different, you know? also i think that jj and john b are the two out of the group who have the strongest brothers connection which makes a whole lot of sense. so.. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that they'll keep it like that!!

i'd love to see pope being the comfort to rely on for jj to cope with losing john b aka his brother rather than pope becoming a substitute brother haha. although i do believe in s2 we will see (hopefully) the trio's bond getting even more stronger as they're trying to deal with shit happening (they might as well drift apart completely actually, ahem, the more angst the better for me heh) BUT i'm hoping, again, that it won't be with that brotherly vibe. more like uhhhhh life's really shitty rn and i need a shoulder to lean on, can you be my emotional support? yeah. i wanna see that. they all have a lot of stuff to work out so i'd love it if they explored all the emotional stuff more (pls jonas prove that you're a good writer yeah thanks!)

lol i feel like i'm drifting away from the actual question but. yeah. let jj and john b live with their brothers vibe and let jj and pope have something better!

or else i'm just gonna ignore the canon and live in denial :)

MM but i could totally see jj throwing around the brother card just to hide from the angst he's gonna feel while having to deal with popekie happening. like you mentioned it as well. jj would definitely use it to hide his real feelings and intentions, especially if he's gonna have to share his literal bedroom with pope lmao

i feel like we have many many smart people among us jjpopes who could make some points about this that aren't just ramblings from me so heyhey friends leave your thoughtsss!!

#jjpope #mayward #my asks #obx s2

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 6X20 the Man who Would be King

AHAHAA

OHOHO

HEHEHEHE

I AM QUITE EXCITED ABOUT THISSSSS

ok he's meditating

OH THE FISH

"don't you step on that fish" AHASIDPSFHA

ah yes I love leaning into how OLD cas is

two boys, an old drunk and a fallen angel AHH

This..this is a good recap

WHY IS THIS ALL THE WAY HERE

WHO IS HE TALKING TO?

Is

IS HE TALKING TO US??

IS THAT DIRECTED TO THE AUDIENCE??

WHAT

HeLlO DEaN

he checks in :)

"you'll call, right? if you get into real trouble" HE'S AN ALL POWERFUL ANGEL AND DEAN IS W O R R I E D

AWWW

HE'S SO HURT TOO ASDFIJSAPDHSP

talk to Crowley

love the aesthetics

why did we have to see the eggs

ErOtic vALuE

DisTraCteD

just

"the stench of that impala's all over your overcoat angel"

NEITHER OF THEM EVER SAY NO EITHER

...Crowley's trying to keep them away huh

WINCHESTERS GUARDIAN

oh my god the reforming holy shit

TWAS CASSSSS

lmao forgot ur soul sorry

Arrogance Hubris

ah and he was like

popping in and around

NO KILLING THE WINCHESTERS

"I'll just bring them back again" Oh myGOD

DENIM WRAPPED NIGHTMARES

they do keep killing things

both? die??

ok so a hunter demon thing that's working for crowley

Sam and Bobby working together is neat tho

stabbed the leg

Dean is the only one that takes issue with this

awwwww Dean

Bobby is also a Cas stan

oh SHIT HE'S RIGHT THERE

paranoid bastards

"superman who's gone dark side" BEN EDLUND I LVOE YOU

Dean

babe ur lois lane

"dean trying so hard to be loyal with every instinct telling him otherwise" WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

LOYALTY TO CAS

THAT'S WHAT THAT LINE MEANT

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

DEMON COUNTERPART TO BOBBY SINGER

THE LIL COMPARTMENTALIZING FLICK TO HUMAN OH MY GOD

MANS IS PROTECTIVE OF WINCHESTERS AND WINCHESTERS ONLY

"I did it to protect the boys or myself" waHTIRWTJHAPSD

no confrontaTION OHH

"maybe they run from us now"FASDISPAFJSFP

he just wants to go to heaven

everyone with their own personal heavens

Cas

Chose you

AWW NO HE JUST WANTS FREE WILL

"freedom is a length of rope, god wants you to hang yourself with it" DSFKAOSH

"teaching poetry to fish" dfsKAP

FISH

"who's heaven is this"

and Raphael wants it to go back oh

"god's will is what I want"

"they were built to follow"

jesus christ

NOOO CAS

"we'd call Cas" :(

:(((((

:((((

HE WANTS TO BELIEVE IN HIM SO BAD

HE COULD HEAR THEM

HE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE

BOTH SAM AND BOBBY ARE LIKE “dean come one it’s very likely he betrayed us” and Dean “trust issues” “Paranoid bastard” Winchester is like

this hurts me

HE COULD ALWAYS HEAR THEM

HE WAS SCARED OH MY GOD

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY CALLED AND CAS DIDN’T COME HE WANTED TO BUT HAD OTHER SHIT THAT COULD HAVE HURT THEM, BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT

ok demon fight

oo the freeze frames

CAS HELPED

HE HELPED

OH HE'S SO FUCKED

"I was me again" figadf'si

Dean: what do you think guys, Cas saved us again isn't he cool

I love them

"they trusted me again"

NO

NO HE MADE THE SAME REFERENCE BOBBY MADE

HE'S SO HAPPY TO MAKE THE REFERENCE

DEAN'S SO HAPPY TO HEAR IT

THEY'RE SMILING AT EACH OTHER

"you're the very picture of mental health"

PROTECTIVE CAS

MANS IS STILL AN ANGEL HELL YEAH

he can't beat them to get free will without crowley

He wanted to ask Dean

but he wanted Dean out of it

he just

watched Dean

angel of thursday

the "I'm an angel" are gREAT

....ONCE AGAIN THE DESTIEL WITH NO REBUKE

HE KEEPS LOOKING BACK AT DEAN

ah the waiting in line hell

"you've got sex appeal" "thank you"

HE started THE CIVIL WAR?

I mean I kinda knew that but still

and he needs resources

HE'S SO PROTECTIVE OF DEAN AW

Cuz Crowley's king of hell, so he can peddle more souls

and he wants security

oho hand shots

MANS STARTED THE CIVIL WARRR

Road to Hell Good Intentions YadaYADA

NO THE HOLY OIL FIRE

THEY FLAGGED THE REFERENCE

he's panicking, Sam and Bobby are panic pushing in, and Dean

...oh no Dean

HE SOUNDS SO SAD

protect you, protect ALL of you WHARIPDH WHAT THE FUCK

he avoided the confrontation because he knew he would get a No

shit

lighting also MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE

to be fair, you ALL SUCK AT COMMUNICATING

"why keep a secret if you knew it was wrong" oh my god

"it sounds so simple when you say it like that"

"Where were you when I needed to hear it" "I was there, where were you"

DEAN WANTED TO HELP

Shit and now they're coming

AND HIS FIRST THOUGHT WAS STILL RUN

his voice cracked too because of the voice

THE LOOK BACK

oh my god

whoops it's crowley

he's still protecting them

"I know what I am" oh MY GOD CAS NOOO

"what exactly are you willing to do" foads'

all the sigils holy shit

HE GOT IN

OH NO THE ANGEL PROOFING IS WRONG

DEAN TAUGHT HIM FREEDOM AND FREE WILL

NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING

VISUALS

"you and bobby are family"

NOOO BROTHERZONED

granted that's because that's the only thing that's stuck around

"I'm an angel" again

STOP THE ULTIMATUMS OH MY GOD

He's talking to god?

I feel like he's talking to us

"give me a sign"

and nothing

I

1. I...think I could track how many times he said I'm an angel, and what that meant, and the context. The way he used it to justify, that self-righteousness is still there, but he still..he wants to help

road to hell I guess

2. that superman line was not only genuinely good the first time, but the INSTANT I heard it again, I knew it was going to get flagged. AND THE LITTLE SCENE WHERE THEY'RE ALL SMILING NO

3. That little Sastiel interaction. I wish there was more of them. There's...I feel like there's so much there

4. Dean's refusal to believe cas was bad, the loyalty, the pleading. I think the ultimatums are the only thing Dean's dad ever did, and it's the only thing he's got. He desperately wants Cas to be with him(yes that too), and he can't express it.

5. Cas on the other hand, runs. He's got the flight instinct(Like SAM!!) and he tries to not get into uncomfortable situations, thinking it's best for everyone involved if he's not there. But he's also incredibly protective, but the boys don't see it, they get the betrayal. And Cas can't interpret Dean's loyalty as what it is because DEAN IS THE ONLY FRAME OF REFERENCE CASTIEL HAS

6. Like honestly speaking of, he's in WAY over his head. He BARELY got a shot at this free will thing, and then he started a civil war. He's going off of "I'm an angel"(heh) and "Free will good" and that's ALL he has!! oh my GOD!! get him a HUG!!

7. Honestly, this whole thing felt like "I wasn't given many places to put Cas's plot in there, so here, get all of it

8. Also the fact that he was kinda talking to the audience?? like that feels important, especially with the meta plot.

9. And even that! Cas constantly trying to justify it to himself oh my god

10. I THOGUHT Y'aL LWER KIDING

I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EXAGERRATION

OH MY GOD

11. Also the visuals were nice I guess. Like. I liked the lore and visuals they used, they were really cool

12. What the fuck.

I genuinely thought season 5 was the peak. And now this. Now this. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK IT'S GONNA KEEP COMING

#pawswatchesspn #6x20 the man who would be king #my coherency sharply deteriorated by the 18 min mark #when I had already felt so many emotions and hadn't even gotten halfway yet #what the fuck #I can't believe this episode anyway 3021910/10 it made me feel every single emotion under the sun

[livingllz-blog]

Dec 1: Frats are Trash (Part 2)

(N) After leaving the house show, we walk to Beta Theta Pi. Apparently they let the first 75 people in for free whether they’re guys or girls. This is so brilliant!! None of those idiot ratios or making guys pay too much money. First come, first serve. Walking into the basement, I see the love of my life (R). He lives on my floor and is the most adorable dude I’ve ever seen in my entire life and let me explain. He is the type of cute that I wanna pinch his cheeks. Since welcome week, I’ve been telling my friends and roommates I’ve wanted to do this. And only now have I had the opportunity. We have a streak on snapchat and we greet each other so we know of each other and it’s a passing friendship. But he comes up and says hi, and that’s when I make my move. I ask to pinch his cheeks and at first he’s confused and giggly, but then he agrees. AND IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY IT’S ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS IVE EVER DONE. I don’t even care if I sound crazy but then I ask how he feels about being brotherzoned. He’s just so cute I wanna hug him and tell him all my secrets. I could never imagine myself being sexually attracted to him, he’s just so cute! AND GET THIS: HE AGREES. And then hugs me again and says he’s now my little brother since his birthday is after mine. I already have a real younger brother, but I’m happy to say now I have two.

While at this party, I see my potential roommate (K) for next year. Nothing’s been set in stone but I had her meet my two other friends (N) and (D) who I would love to room w next year. But now at this party, she introduces us as her future roommates and me especially. Girl. We haven’t fully decided anything yet.. so I just nod and smile but we really need to come back to that. She spends a lot of time w her bf, during the day and at the party. At one point, she’s just standing next to us making out w him. (N) and I are both kind of awkwarded out and decide to revisit this rooming thing. “I want a roommate who will choose her friends over her bf” -(N) and I feel the same way. 

Next, we hit up Apple Pi. Before tonight, (N) and I had met this dude in the frat named (M), who let us know about the party. We walk in w about 7 girls and 1 dude. As soon as we walk in, this douche goes “your guy friend needs to leave”. Our ratio is crazy good and he has to leave?? Are you kidding me. Why are you not confident enough about your dick size to let this guy be your competition. Like come onnn. So idk what happened to that guy. But (N) and I left for 5 mins to walk to another party and when we turn around we realize we’re all alone. Where did everyone go?? Turns out the douche at the door went downstairs so we go back, they give us bracelets (bc we’re obviously 21+) and we sneak downstairs. 

I’m already kinda pissed we almost didn’t get let in esp since it was after 12am. On my way down the stairs, I see a wallet. I pull (N) aside and we sneak about $60 (the next morning, I find out we actually got $100) and drop the wallet elsewhere. 

There’s no cute guys here, no one to dance w, only drinks are beer and mangoritas (which are extremely underrated bc they taste AMAZING and are so fruity w like no alc in it) so we decide to leave because we have other addresses. On our way out, a dude asks to dance w me. Sorry mate, you’re a bit too late. 

We walk down the street to Pi Kappa Phi. After getting to the basement, we see a lot of girls dancing but the frat bros just standing next to the walls. There’s like two guys in the mix and they’re only there to grind hard on girls. Wonderful. (N) and I go to grab some juice from the coolers they have out and there’s a lot of it, but it literally tastes like water. It is later revealed in the football sized cooler, there is only one handle. So basically they’re hella cheap and it’s so watered down it’s crazy. (N) is as frustrated as I am and chugs her whole cup while I continue to sip my water to I guess stay hydrated BOI.

Then we go and dance. I end up talking to a dude that’s wearing a vineyard vines collared shirt *rolls eyes*. I tease him about that and we get to talking about other things, more talking than dancing. He’s pretty polite and cool. I later learn his name is (L) and he’s 21. He’s also the VICE PRESIDENT of the frat. Damn. Good for you man. We dance for a bit but once I run out of my drink, and he leaves (probably to get more for us), I decide this is my time to yeet out of the situation and go back to my friends. I see him looking for me later and now that I’m thinking about it, I wish I had talked to him more. He did not seem like a douchey frat guy (at first I guess). Maybe I’ll see him again. I do go to PI Kap a lot. 

Then, my friend starts saying she could throw up, but won’t immediately. That’s code for get her to a bathroom and have some water ready. So I take her upstairs to the bathroom and she pulls the trigger. She throws up maybe about 12 times and a lot comes up. IG since we moved from party to party and had to drop our drinks before leaving, we just chugged them and that did not sit well w her. She continues to throw up a lot but then slows down and gets sleepy. I don’t want her to pass out in a frat and I can’t take her back to her dorm by herself so I quickly walk out to find someone I know in the frat that can help. I see (E) (a pledge in the frat I met during their halloween party) and practically drag him upstairs to the bathroom w me. He sees her situation and immediately tells her to continue throwing up until she feels fully better. 

But then, this kid starts pulling some shit. He puts his arm around me, then it goes around my waist and then he slides his hand lower until it’s on my ass. I look at him like WTF are you doing bc we’re supposed to be taking care of her. He only says sorry and puts his hand back on my waist. While my friend continues to throw up or drink water, he tries to kiss me, grab my ass more, try and feel me up while being flirty. I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t nice to flirt but it really was not the time. And I tell him that “this is not the right time or place”. And his response is “I can’t help it, you’re so beautiful” *ROLLS EYES* What a frat bro. Then he pulls out his phone and starts taking pictures of me (not selfies) and vides on snapchat and saves them to his phone. At one point someone knocks on the door and I walk over to tell them to politely use another bathroom and this kid took a video of me walking to the door and is rewatching it on snapchat. He goes “damnnn look at that ass”. He tries to slap my ass twice but honestly misses. I’ve realized guys have really bad aim? Bc he isn’t the first guy to miss. My friend is literally throwing up not 2 feet from us and you can’t keep it in your pants. But I can’t tell him to leave since I need him to help walk her back so I suck it up and continue on putting up w it. While waiting, he spams her phone w selfies and I get in some of them. They’re actually not the worst pictures ever. I hated myself for saying that. 

Then. I realize none of us live in her building. There’s no way she can sign us in. So I call 3 different people who don’t pick up who live in her residence hall. Finally someone picks up and says he can help take care of her since they are such good friends. A sigh of relief escapes my mouth. Thank goodness. (D) arrives not a few minutes later to our rescue. He helps her up and slowly walks her out of the house. And right when it’s not appropriate, (E) slaps my ass. His only excuse is “sorry I couldn’t help myself”. We walk (N) back and I tell (D) to contact me if he needs anything and I bid them a good night. 

(E) texts me and asks if (N) was okay. I tell him she’s safe and fine back in her room. Then he tells me to go to his residence hall. My response is simply “I can’t” and he says “well I still wanna fuck you”. Boys am I right. I bid him a good night, take a couple sips of water and pass tf out. What a night. What a long ass but fun for the most part night. 

#party #partystories #drinks #beer #jungle juice #frat #frat guy #dancing