#I can't use the bathroom

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[birdofmay]

Friendly reminder that not everyone with cerebral palsy needs canes or other visible mobility aids, but still needs to use the accessible bathroom (unstable trunk/floppy/dystonic, needs the handrails, wears diapers and somebody else has to change them, etc.)...

If your only criterion for being allowed to use the accessible bathroom is "I can see that they have a mobility aid", you don't seem to know much about disabilities apart from your own...

#I see so many absolutely incorrect posts on tumblr where people seem to think that #people who really NEED to use the accessible bathroom ALWAYS have visible mobility aids #and no just no you can't see every mobility aid and sometimes they need their carer to help them on the toilet #uh the people not the mobility aids #me trying to be informative

[dreamlogic]

bones' new hobby is trying desperately to climb onto my lap while i take a shit, purring furiously as he attempts to climb over the arm i'm using to block him, ignorant of my pleas for personal space and privacy

#ctxt #small bones #me: please sir. SIR- I WOULD PREFER IF YOU DIDN'T??? CEASE. DESIST. I INSIST. bones: [purring so hard it echoes through the tub] #i can't just lock him out of the bathroom bc he gets most of his hydration from the tub faucet and used to only drink while i sat with him #now he only drinks after he's stood on my bare legs headbutting me for 5 minutes while i try to do my business . horrible creature

[fakemagicjaye]

I LIED I'M POSTING IT ( 〃•.•〃)

#brought to you 1/3 by magicposer (a scrawny bitch) (it's not a person it's a 3d model don't worry) #1/3 by me gargoyle crouching on my bathroom counter due to the INSANE MIRROR PLACEMENT in my apartment) #1/3 by me being like “oh yeah i forgot; i know how to draw” #uuughhh his knees are still too skinny........ #the difference in WIDTH between my legs and the 3d model is. vast. #it's useful for angles i can't take pictures of myself from and i can adjust the pose quickly #but often i'm like whaaaattt are these proportions #but also i draw anime people so :v #what ARE these proportions

[opens-up-4-nobody]

omg yahiko (or ame trio if multiple ppl is an option) for a drawing request :D !!

:-]

#i just. when i think abt yahiko. i just imagine flinging him around ragdoll style #i dont remember the logistics of the jutsu nagato uses but i do like the idea that there is some level of decay on the body #or not decay but a fading of pigmentation i guess. i dont feel like trying to find a medical justification rn lol #just a medical justification of why all the pains look the same? i can't remember if all the ppl originally had yahikos coloration #yahiko #naruto #hatake kakashi #also i fucked up the colors on the bathroom walls lol. it looks so gross haha #ugh i didn't make his hair pale enough. it looks a lot duller irl #yahiko pain

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together #and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home #and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room #which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice #and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni #and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails #bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show #and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions #where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea #idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls #and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had #and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies #but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with #and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves #and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now #but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity #and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older #idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room) #it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening #i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :) #hella goes to uni #feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post

[serenne-personal]

I am laying on the floor desperately trying to sleep because I forgot my friend I'm rooming with forba few days snores rrally bad and I hav ebeen blasting riptide by vance joy fof an hour through my headphones to drown out the snoring but I cannot sleep when there's sound unless it's quite gentle. Which wouldn't drown out the snoring. I'm gonna actually commit homicide at the con today I think

#I'm dying squirtle #on the floor because that's the farthest away I can get apart from trying to sleep in the bath tub #which would be an issue because it means people can't use the bathroom cause I'm sleeping 4“ away #but I might be a bastard and do it anyway cause I'm gonna lose my shit #misophonia is a bitch and I am gonna rip my own thighs open before the night is out at this rate

[sevicia]

I turn 20 tomorrowwww and my gift to myself will be bashing my head into the wall until I get a headache

#I used to do that in the school bathroom all the time #or when there was no one home #but there's always someone home nowadays so I can't do it #I literally can't win. #Can't even hit my head.... what's the fucking point anymore.... #diary

[arsonist-chicken]

I got to look at the room in the dormitory and now I'm torn between taking it and running, or maybe taking a bit more time to find something... less really cramped and where the washing machine doesn't smell sour, somehow

#and i have to decide today help #like yeah my flatmates are awful and I hate them and am in a bad mood whenever they're home #but they're usually gone on the weekends so at least I'm alone then #there's Something weird about the dormitory I looked at but I can't put my finger on it. apart from the awful smell in the laundry room #but I mean I could take my laundry to a laundromat if I really didn't want to use that washing machine I guess #there's shared kitchens there too but oh well i've done that before #but by god am I looking forward to living alone after university #all I want is a flat with enough space for a large bed or a pull-out couch for when friends visit #and ideally a balcony and cats allowed #mine #jess' flatmate rants #am I being too picky? all student rooms are very small and shared kitchens and bathrooms are normal #what really threw me off was the washing machine ngl #aaah maybe that's another thing: my old dorm was bigger so more anonymous #this one has a kitchen for 8-10 people #i'm not very social; I don't want to be friends with the people in my dorm; I want to be alone and left alone when I'm at home #anyway. guess I have that to consider for the next hour or so #aah Vse Kar Vem came up and I'm crying again; wonderful #also you know those days when anyone talking in the same room as you makes you want to murder them? i'm on like week two or three of that #with no stop and idk why and what's wrong; send help #ngl maybe my problem is less with the dorm itself and more that I literally can't imagine a good future for myself right now #where I get to not live either in my childhood bedroom forever or only ever with flatmates which. I'm never moving in with strangers again #and I have no friends I could move in with who would want that or don't already live with their boyfriends

[meownotgood]

i miss aki sm omg, thinking about his soft voice at night when you’re sleepy and cuddling in bed together *sighs dreamily*

ohhhh his pretty voice... I'm glad you brought it up because I've been thinking of it so much too... he speaks to you so softly and gently, with so much affection and love evident in his tone. when he gets sleepy, his voice gets all deep and heavy and tired, he'll hold you close and grumble in your ear that he loves you while half-asleep.

#uuuurrfggghhh I MISS HIIIIMMMMMM #I wanna hear his voice again so badly #my heart pounds just thinking about it #forever looping the aki voice compilation I put together just so I can hear him talk to me #I think... he gets real cuddly at night... #he hugs you tight and falls asleep with you in his arms #but then when he gets out cold his grip won't budge so you can't move lol #gotta shake him awake if you need to get up to use the bathroom #ask mags

[chaotictomtom]

i just was going to post them separately but then realized they're next to each other. and they're both haunting the narrative. they deserve a post together </333

#adam stuck in the bathroom for days: omg i'll haunt the narrative so bad. just like laura palmer. *gets instead forgotten and only haunts #amanda and lawrence and the latter is the only one left now knowing what really happened to him and prob only one knowing that he's dead* #vs laura who. the whole town is striken with grief and it impacts everyone for like decades #</333 #found cheap silley minecraft pens and became obsessed with them as if i don't have some branded fine line pens 🗿 #sometimes.... the silley art supplies win over serious ones. #i can't actually remember if that was done with the pilots' v pen fountain pen i got actually. v fun to use to #i want a refillable fountain pen with the piston system soooo bad but they're so pricey </33333 #ANYWAY. SORRY FOR RAMBLING IN THE TAGS!!!! #tomtoms_art #saw #saw fanart #twin peaks #twin peaks fanart #saw adam #saw adam fanart #adam faulkner stanheight #adam faulkner stanheight fanart #twin peaks laura #twin peaks laura fanart #laura palmer #laura palmer fanart #used the supra granulated watercolour bf got me for my bday once again yipeeee i love them so much!!!!

[lurking-latinist]

⛵

#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art #that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute #unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain #and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all #because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality #(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates) #(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates. #OR RATHER #for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck' #I think that works best) #(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong] #sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly #(she's the part I want to draw) #she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have #but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be #and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says #feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that) #so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating #(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen) #diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon #idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message #don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it #stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry #jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times #(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy #not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail #but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow. #it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it #(and NOT in that order) #in the bathroom sink

[merkerlerspeaks]

on a scale of 1-10 how silly would it be to ask folks to pray that I find a piece of jewelery I lost. It's not particularly valuable monetarily but its very precious to me and Im afraid I lost it outside of the house. I cant find it anywhere it should be. It could be in the pocket of the either the pajama pants or outside pants I wore the last day I saw it (the 19th) or it could be buried under something in my old bedroom, or it could be at my friend's moms house or somewhere between here and there. Trying not to stress over it but its just become precious too me.

#Its just one of those shark bracelets from one of those scam ocean charity sites #But I have used it as a grounding tool to help me focus when I need to get my head on straight so its been through a lot with me #a replacement just wouldn't be the same either plus I don't want to give more money to scam charities than they already get #and writing this out is helping me calm down about it #as Im writing I realize that I tend to freak out a lot when I realize that something precious is missing and can't chill out until I find i #and thinking about it. I know exactly where that stems from #not something I ever considered before but a lot of things precious to me got burned when I was little #and at one point I repressed the memory and would search for things that got burned up for hours because I had no idea where they went #but yeah anyway Im gonna try to chill. It'll turn up Lord willing #Im just scared I lost it in my friends old house or somewhere between here and there and I'll never see it again #I do not like it when things like that disappear I do not like it at all #I just worry about all the possible places it could be lost forever in or where it could have gotten ruined #I also just have ADHD forgetfulness so I get paranoid I left it like in a walmart bathroom or something #I know I didn't but I have almost lost things that way before #Like even if it is just gone and lost forever I just want to know where it is #merkerler speaks #prayer request #bc I am spazzy about these things #need to be careful about it bc it mirror's some of my dad's OCD tendencies

[clonerightsagenda]

John's descriptions sure seem to have a certain tenor to them.

John: The room is hung with pink strands like an infant's entrails. Everyone within echoes each other in an ominous chant. The object of their focus writhes at the center, a look of agony upon their face.

Arthur: It's a birthday party, John.

#being sung to IS torment though #kat listens to malevolent #John: before us I see a man. he looks wretched and hateful. #It is the face of a man who refused to buy a cinema ticket because 'it's my money and I can't see any of it' #a villain reflected in the bathroom mirror #Arthur: oh great this again

[advisorsage]

I honestly can't remember the last time I wasn't nauseous. Was it five days ago? Seven? Who knows. Certainly not me.

#this is about the persistant stomach bug I've had since i got food poisoning on the 17th #I'm just. so damn tired of feeling like my stomach is going to crawl out my throat #I've thrown up more times in the past week than i have in the past ten years and I'm really upset about it #not to mention the pain that's happening #and I'm just supposed to carry on with my life! #I've had to talk to my work because i can't do the shifts i usually do and ask i seem capable of is fucking sleeping #OR #doing classwork #the only reason my class is going well is that it's in the morning and i can do the work for it with a ton of breaks to use the bathroom #and it doesn't seem to matter what i eat #I'm nauseous but not throwing up in the morning and then in the afternoon i start throwing up and by the time i take my evening pills... #i can't keep anything down #i can't even keep water down #i fucking love water #but nooooooo #my body wants to reject even that #i don't know what to do #hopefully this goes away or the CT shows what's going on so i can live my fucking life again #anyway #rant over #drink water you heathens

[cecilyacat]

Hands up who's also having the worst work week ✋ 🙃

#my actual life #i am so fucking tired #i kept messing up tests for our software #i can't concentrate #i didn't realise a meeting was moved from monday to today and so i just missed it completely #also didn't realise i accidentally spilled period blood in the bathroom and they sent an email around to all women in the office #telling us to clean up after ourselves and now i want to die of embarrassment #and i just. want. to. sleep #100% the test with the customer tomorrow is not going to go smoothly #let's hope I finally sleep better tonight or i might start crying in the meeting :) #(this is even more fun because as always i will be the only woman involved...)