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unrequitedloveletter · 3 years

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Certainly- Kaz Brekker

The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!

Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz

Fic type- angsty fluff

Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)

You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities.

It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue.

The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.

It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise.

“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.”

“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”

“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.

You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry.

Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down.

Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it.

Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours.

“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.”

“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.”

“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.

He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying.

“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.”

“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”

“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.

“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.

Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed.

“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.

“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!”

“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.

Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky.

“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”

“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”

“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”

“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”

You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to.

But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.

“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.

“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.

“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive.

Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field.

Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish.

“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.

“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance.

I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable.

O N E Y E A R L A T E R

You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.

Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world.

“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.

“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.

Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”

“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.”

“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.

“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.”

Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces.

“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya.

You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.

“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot.

“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.

“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.

It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover.

“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.”

“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.

“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.

“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?”

“Certainly.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #platonic inej ghafa x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #waffles

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soaringlark · 4 years

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The Other Girl (Part 1/Cancelled)

changed the title again! I think this fits better.

Warnings: Pain (not very detailed)

Future Warnings: Daniella being really offensive

No g/t or vore first part, but will come later :D

Word count (for first part): 1528

”I can’t believe that they paired me up with you,” said Daniella, as she closed the door. “I thought the system was well thought out. Do we even have anything in common?” Isabella avoid her piercing gaze.

“We’re both girls and our names end in ella,” she replied, quickly taking her beanie of to scratch her head. Daniella glared at her, before she opened her mouth to speak. “I know it was rhetorical, sorry, I thought it was funny.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’m going to start unpacking.”

Isabella decided to do the same. She wasn’t sure what to do about dinner, though. Pizza sounded good, but Daniella didn’t like fast food. But she didn’t feel like going to the grocer. Maybe Daniella had been out already?

She decided to ask her.

She knocked on the door, before she walked in. “Hey, Dani?”

“Don’t call me Dani! What do you want?” she yelled. Isabella groaned; she really didn’t care. “Are you going to say anything Bella?”

“Sorry then,” she apologized, sighing through her nose. “Just wanted to hear if you had bought anything for dinner. ‘cause I’m not in the mood to go out and buy anything.” Now she wanted to order pizza just to make Dani upset.

“Oh, no, I haven’t,” she replied, out of nowhere she seemed a bit embarrassed. “I should have thought about that.” She fiddled with a framed picture she was holding. “We should make a meal plan. Can you cook?”

All of this caught Isabella a bit off guard. “Yeah, I like to cook, I mostly follow the recipe, but I think it’s pretty fun to experiment too,” she answered. She really wanted to talk about cooking, but not with the other girl. “Why are you asking?”

She put the picture down on a bedside table. “Just so we could take turns making food,” she said. “But I don’t have any idea what to make today. What do you think?” She moved over to an open briefcase and grabbed a snow globe with a dog playing in snow inside.

Isabella shrugged. “I was just going to order pizza for myself if you didn’t have anything,” she said. Something clicked in her head. “Wait, you like homemade pizza right?”

She shook the thing a little. “Yeah, we could make that.” She placed it down next to the picture. “But you might have to come with me then; I don’t know what you like on your pizza.”

She scratched the back of her head. “I could just tell you.”

“But it would be a good time to get to know each other,” she explained, as she laughed. “I don’t want to judge you too quickly.”

She sighed. “Fine, I guess we can,” she said. “But only if we leave now.”

They didn’t learn much more about each other, other than that they both liked pineapple on their pizza. That fact made them both excited. They rarely ever met anybody that liked that.

A couple hours after they had come home Daniella asked if Isabella thought it was time to prepare food. She agreed. They decided to make one pizza each.

They shared the task as evenly as they could. Isabella wanted to make the dough. Daniella was fine with cutting the mushrooms… and so on.

It went pretty smooth. Both of them proved to be decently good at cooking. The pizzas ended up just how both liked them.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something? It is Friday,” asked Isabella. “Do you like animated movies?” She sort of hoped that Daniella would say yes. She really wanted to watch one of her favorite childhood movies that night.

“Depends on which ones you’re talking about,” said Daniella. “It sounds fun, though.” She sat down on the other side of the small cheap-looking sofa. “What did you have in mind?”

She had already found the movie she wanted to watch. “I was thinking this one?” she said. “I loved it when I was a child.” It was somewhat scary for a children’s movie. “It also reminds me of some of my old nightmares. I think it might have been the cause.”

Daniella gasp and her eyes light up. “I loved that movie too! It’s been so long since I was able to watch it,” she exclaimed. “I definitely want to watch it! If that wasn’t clear… Sorry.”

Isabella laughed. “Maybe we have more in common than we thought,” she said, trying to settle down properly in the crappy sofa. “Let’s start the movie then.” She pressed play.

While the credits were rolling, the two went into a detailed discussion about what they loved about the movie when they were kids and what they enjoyed now.

“And that scene were Jessie fell of the cliff only to be caught by Flare was so suspenseful when I was kid! It’s amazing that it holds up with that awesome animation!” Exclaimed Daniella. “And the part where it looks like Shigafo is going to eat her, but he is only hiding her is so amazing; you can really feel Jessie’s fear and how much trust she’s has to put in him.”

Isabella nodded. “I love it when the dragons are on screen; it shows how much work they put into the movie,” she stated. Dragons were hard enough to draw as a still image; she would know. She was sort of artsy. “And I think Flare is my favorite character now, just how he overcomes all the hateful stereotypes people put on dragons like him. And he doesn’t fall for all that peer pressure the other dragons put on him.”

“He almost does and that was so scary as a kid,” she said. That was also what gave her nightmares as a kid. “The laughs of the dragons as George is chased through the forest by him, while the some of the dragons are spewing fire at them.”

“That scene is so cool,” she agreed. The music in movie fit perfectly for what it was made for. “It’s amazing how good the music is for a children’s movie it really grasps your feelings. I think the only thing I dislike is that it is a children’s movie.”

“But it probably wouldn’t have been animated if that was the case,” said Daniella as she stretched and got up. “I think I’m going to bed.”

Isabella checked her phone. It was only 9 pm. “Isn’t it a little early?” she asked. But it wasn’t out of place for someone who also didn’t like junk food and made meal plans. “Also there are a few I want to ask you about.”

She sat back down. “What is it?”

“Why did you get so mad at me when I called you Dani?” That had confused her a little, but she didn’t feel like it was right to ask her before.

She sighed deeply. “I’m sorry; it was just because I was a bit upset already,” she replied. “You can call me Dani if you want. My grandma recently…” She took a deep breath and sniffled quietly. “Passed away.” She dried her eyes with her hands. “I was setting up a picture of her. And I thought you were annoying.”

Despite the half insult, she felt bad for asking. “Oh,” she said shyly. “I’m sorry for your loss.” She shuffled awkwardly on the sofa. She couldn’t think of anything else to say about it.

“So, what else did you want to ask about?”

She scratched her neck. “Never mind, it doesn’t feel right to ask about that now,” she answered. “It is sort of rude, because it’s not directly your fault.” She was saying too much already. It really wasn’t her fault that the other girl’s friend bullied her.

She tilted her head to the side. “Now you’re making me curious,” she said, before she furrowed her brow. After about a minute of awkward silence, she spoke out. “Are you talking about Kayla? You don’t have to be friends with her.”

She lowered her head shyly. “You’re right, it’s about her,” she admitted, as she took out her phone and began fiddling with it. “But I just don’t want to see her where I live.” She could feel herself tearing up. She was scared to be around Kayla. “I don’t think I could be friends with her if I wanted; you know she thinks I’m a waste of air.”

Daniella looked away from her. “I mean, if she gets to know you, she might not call you that anymore,” She said, sitting quietly for moment, before she gave her a hard shove into the couch. Isabella dropped her phone, making it bounce off sofa. “You know what? Maybe being your friend isn’t even worth it! You’re probably going to ruin my friendship with my best friend!”

That came out of nowhere. “What? But- but I thought,” Suddenly a sharp pain that shot through her entire body cut her off. She screamed loudly. “What is happening? Help!”

Daniella fainted with a loud crash. ‘Am I going to die?’ were the last thoughts that made it into her head before she passed out too.

End of Part 1

Some credit to Random Litith on youtube for the inspiration! It’s not at all similar, but still my inspiration.

She’s a G/t GachaTuber. I know it’s cringy that I like gacha, but what can you do? It reminds me of my old “Movies” on moviestar planet.

If you have any questions feel free to ask :D

#My writing #My characters #Isabella OC #Daniella OC #The Other Girl

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likethetailofacomet · 5 years

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Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

A/N: moving right along through the #ChaosQueen’s wip word challenges. this one made me giggle. and it’s cute. for once I am posting fluff on a friday instead of hurting drake and claire or infecting the es crew with zombieism. mark this day on the calendar. anywho, enjoy this bit if silliness. you especially, @sleepwalkingelite.

Pairings: Ben x Rachael, Seth x Emma

Word Count: 2,540

Prompt: from @ooo-barff-ooo

Rachael flopped down into the cushions. The long, rectangular couch was askew, diagonally placed in her new living room, surrounded by boxes and other pieces of furniture. Seth and Emma had just left after helping her haul all of her stuff up into the freight elevator. Emma had, much to her relief, finished filming the running scenes for Finisher: The Katherine Switzer Story, so she was no longer sore and stiff with every step she took, and instead was using her new muscles to try to out-do Seth for who could carry more boxes.

“You kidding me, Iowa? No contest!” Seth scoffed, bending at the knees to lift the box marked “Dishes”.

“We’ll see who’s kidding when I beat you up the stairs with this,” she cocked an eyebrow at him challengingly and bent to lift a box marked “Towels” before taking off, her long legs turning over quickly as she headed for the stairwell.

Seth chuckled as he watched her go, her ponytail swinging in the sunshine. “You have no intention of racing her, do you?” Rachael asked with an amused quirk of her lips, slinging two duffle bags over her shoulders and grabbing a plastic crate containing two houseplants.

“None at all,” he said with a grin as he winked at her and headed towards the front door of her new building. He adjusted the box in his arms and opened the door for her and the two of them grabbed an elevator to the tenth floor. “So,” Seth turned to her once the large brass doors had slid closed and the lights started dinging off the floors they passed. “Excited?” he asked, knowing that she was.

A genuine smile lit up her whole face as she nodded enthusiastically. “You have no idea,” she answered, although she knew that he did have some idea. She and Emma had been friends since college, meaning that Seth, even though he’d only met her in person about two years ago, knew quite a lot about the woman standing next to him. He knew that it had been her dream to move to the Golden State for years. She loved the sunshine and the temperature, loved the beach and the breeze, had favorite restaurants and bars from the dozen or so times that she had visited. He knew that recently she’d had even more of a reason to want to make the move.

She and Ben had been keeping up with a long distance relationship ever since the night of the Golden Globes when they'd made things official inside the pillow fort she'd insisted that they erect. It had been hard, especially since Rachael quickly put the kibosh on his weekly flights back and forth to see her while he was filming in Europe- “It’s just a huge waste of money, Ben, normal people don’t fly across the Atlantic once a week to get coffee,” she’d told him, delicately of course as she knew he was just happy to get the chance to spend time with her. She was too, but she hated the idea of them needing to be so extravagant just to make their relationship work. “We can do this, really do this, I mean,” she’d told him at the airport after their week together during awards season. She was heading back home to Ohio and he was staying put to start work on his next role, and they were both a little nervous about not knowing when they’d see one another again, especially as things were still so new.

“How can you be so sure?” He’d asked her, a faint hint of sadness in his usually cheerful voice. He had his arm around her as they sat in one of the hard backed benches at the airport, waiting for her flight to be called.

Rachael smiled at him and brushed her fingertips across his forehead, sweeping some hair out of his onyx eyes. It had grown long again, like she loved, and she hated not knowing when she’d get to run her hands through it again, but she knew that she would and that’s what she was choosing to focus on. She kissed the tip of his nose and as she leaned back to speak she saw the way his smile made his nose crinkle and that tiny little involuntary reaction made her certain of her next words. “I can be so sure,” she began, dropping her hand to his knee, “because I know there’s no way I’m letting you go, and I know you’re not a quitter. I trust you, and I know myself, and,” she shrugged, a smile on her lips despite the missing him that had already settled in her heart, “and I just... some things you just know, Ben, and this is one of those things.”

He tilted his head to the side. The smile started in his eyes but quickly spread to the rest of his face. “You’re right. I’m not a quitter. And even if I was,” he leaned his forehead against hers, “I’d have to be a quitter AND a fool to quit on you. I,” he was interrupted by the overhead announcement calling her flight, and he sighed, standing and extending his hand to help her up. “That’s you, love.” He’d walked her as far as he could and left her with a sweet, slow kiss that she’d feel on her lips for days. “Have a safe flight, call me as soon as you land…I miss you already.” She’d boarded the plane without looking back because to do so would have been to sabotage the plan, would have sent her right back to his arms, and she needed the plan to work.

The plan being kicking some ass at her current job to beef up her resume enough to go and snag that dream job of hers. She needed a reason to move to California that wasn’t Ben, and for that she needed this job. She’d been secretly wanting and wishing for it for years, only letting Emma know how badly she really wanted it, and exactly 4 months to the day from the last time she saw him, she got to call him with the news that she was going to be the new Director of Marketing for the L.A. Angels, and would need to move to Los Angeles ASAP. It had been a rough couple of months for both of them, despite Rachael’s insistence that a little struggle up front would strengthen them in the long run, and despite Ben agreeing, being apart from the only one you wanted to see every day was tough. But now, for at least most of the year, they'd be in the same city, and she couldn’t have been happier to have all of the pieces of her life fall into place. Dream job, check. Dream Guy, check. Living in the same town as her best friend, check.

It was now roughly 7pm and they'd started moving at 9 that morning. She marveled at how much stuff she actually had. Nothing like a cross country move to prove to yourself that you need to purge your t- shirt collection, she thought, although at the same time she knew that those t- shirts were precious mementos from road trips and concerts, baseball games and other events, and she'd never really part with them. The sun was setting outside her window but the air coming in was still warm- ah, she thought, California living at last. She smiled as she remembered his text from that morning, apologizing for not being able to help with the move due to his shooting schedule, but assuring her that he'd be there as soon as he could to celebrate and help her feel more at home. He’d asked her to call him once Seth and Emma had cleared out, promising that he’d answer if he could. She was exhausted and hungry and verging on cranky, but she knew that would all disappear as soon as she heard his voice. She dialed his number hoping beyond hope that he’d be able to answer, and on the third ring she got her wish. Sort of.

“He-“ he sucked in a breath that sounded painful, “Hello? Rach?”

She sat up fully alert at the tone of his voice. “Ben? What’s wrong?”

A halfhearted chuckle came through the speaker and then another wincing sound. “Sorry, can’t really talk right now, love. Had a little mishap on set, getting bandaged up as we speak. But- ah- I’m through for the day, so I’ll be leaving here as soon as this is done and I’ll come right over.”

They’d ended the call but it hadn’t made her feel any better. From what she had heard from him about this new project, he was doing a handful of his own stunt work which had made her nervous, and now it seemed she had good reason. She suddenly got a second wind from the adrenaline of worrying, so she tried to keep busy with unpacking until she heard from him again or until he showed up, but it was no use. She couldn’t stop wondering what had happened and how bad it was. Haven’t seen him in four months and the day I get here he’s hurt. What kind of luck is that? She paced around with her phone in her hand texting Emma to ask all manner of questions about what could go wrong on set, what kind of injury it could be, and just looking for some comfort. I’m sure it’s nothing too bad, Rach, he was on set not at the hospital, right?

Rachael groaned. She hadn’t even thought about the possibility of him needing to go to the hospital. HOSPITAL???? No, on set…I THINK!?! OMG. She responded. She was just about to try to call him again when there was a buzz from her intercom telling her that there was someone at the door. She practically flew to the speaker to answer it, catching her foot on a box and stumbling noisily, letting out an audible, “Ouch! Damnit!” She hopped back to balance and pressed the button to let him in, tapping her leg nervously until he reached her floor and she head a knock. When she did, her fingers flew to unlock the bolts and she flung the door open, eyes wide and breath held. “Ben!” she gasped as he entered and her eyes roved all over him. She grabbed his hand and lifted his arm, turning it over to look for any sign of injury but, confusingly, not seeing anything. No cast, no visible stiches, he wasn’t in a sling. “Ben,” she said again, this time a little less frantically, “what happened? Are you…you said you were hurt…” she wrapped her arms around his waist carefully, not wanting to squeeze too tight in case there was something she was missing.

He smiled down at her and reached behind him to capture her hands in both of his. “Hey, calm down, love, it’s alright. I told you it was a minor mishap,” he said soothingly before he bent down to kiss her, and she momentarily forgot how worried she’d been, completely enraptured by the kiss she’d been missing. When they broke apart he ran his hands up and down her arms. His dark eyes looked tired from a long day but they twinkled when he looked at her and she couldn’t help but feel a pleasant shiver run through her to see that look in his eyes. “God, I missed you,” he said softly.

“I missed you too,” she said dreamily, almost in disbelief that he was there and she had moved and this wasn’t just a quick visit but an everyday possibility. But she shook her head, remembering the painful hiss she’d heard from him on the phone. “But what happened? I was worried, you sounded…” she bit her lip. “It sounded like you were in pain and…”

He made a sheepish face, cheeks pulling up and causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle as he shrugged one shoulder and let go of her hands. “Well,” he held up the arm that she hadn’t inspected, and for a second she still didn’t quite understand. There were no bruises, no scratches, nothing. “I told you it was minor,” he said as her eyes finally found the 2” x 2” adhesive square covering his elbow. “It really…” he looked away, almost embarrassed, “it was really silly, actually. I uh…well, there’s no way to say this and come off looking cool, but I tripped and fell and scraped up my elbow, and…Rach can you say something?”

Her eyes went wide. “THAT?” She gaped at him, blinking, and grabbed his arm to look closer. She fixed him with a look, eyes squinted and lips pressed together.

“Yes?” he grimaced realizing far too late that he’d caused her to worry far too much.

“Benjamin Thomas Barnes!” She pulled back from him and her nostrils flared. “THAT!” she pointed at his elbow, “is a BAND-AID! You said bandage and I thought…”

“I know…I’m just now seeing my poor word choice…but,” he ventured a smile, “in all fairness, Band-Aid is a brand. They are technically called bandages…even the box says-“

“I DON’T CARE WHAT THE BOX SAYS!”

“Darling, I haven’t seen you in way too long…” he watched as she visibly softened at the word darling, some of the steam coming from her ears dissipating, and was glad that at least this time he’d chosen the right word. “I’d rather not be screamed at for a piece of sticky plastic if it’s all the same to you.” He kissed her on the cheek.

“Well,” she said, clearly trying to stay mad but clearly failing, “well, I’d rather I didn’t spend the last hour and a half panicking,” she said, scrolling through her texts with Emma to show him. She shook her head as a small laugh finally fell from her lips. “But really…I’m just glad you’re okay. And you’re here.” She wrapped her arms around him again and this time didn’t hold back on the squeeze. She felt his arms come around her, too, feeling a bit bulkier than their last hug. That stunt work and the subsequent necessary workout regimen was certainly working out for him.

“Me too,” he sighed into her hair. “I’m so glad you’re here, and you’re here to stay.” His face was still pressed into her hair and she could feel him smile as he spoke. “And you’re mine.”

“I sure am,” she said before pulling away to look up at her. “And as such, I’m gonna need you to comply and call these,” she pointed at his elbow, “Band-aids from now on, you know, to avoid giving me a heart attack again. Deal?”

“Deal, but only because it’s you.” He grinned, his white teeth flashing and that mischievous look in his eye that could only mean one thing. “But I bet our friends would agree with me.”

Rachael rolled her eyes. “Seth. You mean Seth. Seth will agree with anything if he thinks it’s a) funny or b) funny. So, yeah, safe to say you’re right. But we’ll test that theory tomorrow, huh? Tonight I’d rather just…” she sighed and trailed off.

“Yeah,” he said, that smile back and growing, “Me too.”

. . . . .

Tags: @sleepwalkingelite @ooo-barff-ooo @zaffrenotes @brightpinkpeppercorn @kellypenac

#stuck on band aid brand #choices real world mashup #seth x emma #seth x mc #seth levine #But really this one is ALL:#RACHAEL X BEN #ben x rachael #ben barnes #band aid vs bandage #big difference #potayto potato

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sandalwoodhusbands · 5 years

Text

for him.

Lucas posts music covers on youtube and there’s a guy who keeps sending him the most original photos he’s ever seen.

(also on ao3) // previous

A year and a half later

Way Down We Go // Kaleo (Cover) – by turnupthelucas

lucasxlallemant21:

Oh my god so fucking goooood! Your voice keeps getting better and better <3

+ turnupthelucas: thank you!

elio0oliverr:

that wink at the end??? ended the world’s problems

lallemantstan:

my wig is on the floor, my skin is clean and my ears cry with glee

harrysdimple:

Mr. Lucas Lallemant really out there changing the music industry uh

ghostlypitch:

When are we going to get original content?

+ turnupthelucas: soon ;)

+ lustiel: OHMYF GOD CHRISTIE ALSFNEGEJK

+ malectrash: JE SUIS DEAD

(View other 5097 responses)

slipperysnow:

we need more videos with lucas playing the guitar. so hot

Lucas locks his phone, smiling to himself.

It all started as a joke, as most things do. In the beginning, it had just been him and Yann, a viral shitty 15second recording and a guitar.

Yann had been messing around with some strumming patterns on Lucas’ bed, playing some famous tunes at random.

Lucas had been unaware of the phone against the headboard filming him spin around the room with his desk chair, so when he heard the first notes of the acoustic version of Break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored, he didn’t hesitate to belt out the lyrics like there was no tomorrow.

Yann had posted it on his Instagram story without Lucas knowing.

When Lucas logged on his own Instagram account a couple hours later, he felt very confused at the rising number of followers and odd requests to ‘post more videos’ he got, to say the least.

He hadn’t really thought about his voice before that day, but he had to admit the clip sounded pretty fucking good. So he said to himself, why not? - worst case scenario, the video is a complete flop and his friends mock him for a week.

Needless to say, it was the furthest thing from a flop. In the span of a month his first ‘official’ video hit 700k views on YouTube, and so many people begged for more covers in the comment section that he filmed another one. And then another one. And then, well - then he never really stopped.

Which brings him to this day. With over 300k followers on Instagram and more than a couple of millions views on YouTube, he is one of the most popular artists in France at the moment.

He has viewers all over the globe, people send him letters (and the occasional gift) almost daily, and he's sometimes recognized when he goes out for drinks with the gang.

He’s living his best life, basically.

“Lucas” Yann groans from the sit next to him. “Can you please concentrate on the screen?”

Lucas lifts his head up and looks at the tv screen just in time to witness a geared up man appear out of nowhere, shooting his character in the head.

“Oops.”

The game’s menu glares at him in colors of red and black as Yann chucks the controller at his stomach half heartedly.

Lucas grins at him sheepishly, scratching his head.

“C’mon, restart the game. No distractions this time, I promise.”

His best friend raises an eyebrow.

“If I catch you looking at your phone even once,” Lucas raises his hands in mock surrender. “I swear I will choke you with my own hands. And not in the kinky way.”

Lucas snorts, putting his phone down on the table. He readjusts himself on the sofa, back pressed against the cushions, and sits with his feet tucked under his legs.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He clasps his hands together. “Press play.”

The sound of Yann pressing the controller’s button and Lucas’ phone going off intertwine in time.

“Really?” Yann complains as he pauses the game.

Lucas shrugs apologetically, bending forwards to check his phone.

He turned every channel - related notifications off after almost going crazy one afternoon with the constant pinging, so now his phone only notifies him when a friends texts him.

If they got interrupted by Basile pestering him again about getting them into that party next Friday, Lucas is going to kill him.

He runs the pad of his index finger over the back of his phone, unlocking it. His eyebrows shoot up in confusion when an Instagram notification pops up.

Who communicates through direct messages with their friends when you can use whatsapp?

He slides down the notifications bar, frowning when he reads the username.

“Uh”

“Is it Baz?” Yann questions from the kitchen, sticking his head in the door. “If he’s asking about the party again, tell him to go buy the tickets himself.”

“Eh, not exactly?” Lucas trails off, his confused tone making it sound like a question.

Yann walks back into the room with a sandwich in his hand and a bottle of water. Despite his confusion, Lucas gives him an unimpressed look.

Yann shrugs.

“Who is it, then?”

Lucas proceeds to show him the screen in silence.

@srodulv shared a picture with you

“Okay.” Yann looks at Lucas with an equally puzzled expression. “Who the hell is this ‘sroduluv’ person, or whatever?”

“I… don't know.”

“But you're following them.” Yann states.

“Yes.”

“And they sent you a picture.”

“Apparently?” Lucas asks in a high pitched voice, throwing his hands up in the air. “Shit, I don't know!”

That's all it takes for Yann to burst out laughing, falling on the couch and rolling over himself as he tries to control his chuckles.

“What's so funny?” Lucas whines.

“Bet you 10 bucks it’s another dick pic.” Yann laughs, looking at Lucas pointedly.

Lucas blushes profusely at the reminder, tucking his chin on his neck. It’s been known to happen, alright. He can't help that he looks like a twink most of the time - Yann says it's the hair. Arthur argues that it's his mouth.

Anyway.

“That happened once.” Lucas retorts. “Maybe twice.”

Yann looks at him with a face that has whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy written all over it. So maybe it's happened more times than he’d care to admit.

“So? Open it!” Yann urges Lucas, nudging him when the latter just stays still.

Lucas braces himself and taps on the notification.

He opens the picture.

“Wait,” He blurts out. “What?”

“Is it a dick pic?” Yann asks curiously. When Lucas only blinks, he gasps. “Is it worse?”

Lucas blinks again, half expecting to see the picture before his eyes turn into an actual dick pic. When he opens his eyes again, the picture is still there, looking exactly like it did seconds ago.

He passes the phone wordlessly to Yann.

“What the- is that a fucking dog lying on an inflatable popsicle pool toy?” Yann laughs incredulously. “Holy shit. That’s what I call a plot twist.”

“Who the hell is this person and why are they sending me dog pics? What is going on?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Yann says distractedly, still looking at the screen in wonder. “but you have to marry them.”

“What the fuck, Yann?”

“They sent you a picture of a bulldog laying around a pool, Lucas. That's the epitome of true romance.”

“We don't know who it is. We don't even know if it’s a dude.” Lucas hisses. “For all we know, they could be a serial killer trying to lure handsome young men with pictures of insanely cute puppies.”

“It is a cute puppy.” Yann concedes. “But you can, and call me crazy here, maybe look at their profile? Just a suggestion, though.”

Lucas withdraws his phone from between Yann’s hands immediately, tapping on this mysterious person’s profile with no hesitation.

And, holy shit. He definitely remembers now, alright.

It’s the guy . The one with the soft hair and sparkling eyes.

His eyes land on a recent picture - it’s in black and white. He’s supporting his head with his hand as he looks at the lenses with captivating eyes. He has a bit of stubble, and the black sweater he’s wearing makes him look so cozy, and Lucas wants to die.

“I definitely need to marry him.” Lucas murmurs dazzled, his heart going fast against his ribcage, as he scrolls through the guy’s posts. His lips actually tingle with how bad he wants to brush his mouth against those cheekbones.

Lucas hadn't even noticed he had followed him back.

His eyes find his bio again, and he's surprised it's still the same one from a year ago. Model. Then, another detail catches his eye, and his breath hitches. Eliott.

Eliott.

That’s his name. It fits him perfectly, Lucas thinks.

“I’m guessing he’s hot, then?” Yann snorts from the other side of the couch. Lucas had kind of forgotten he was still there, to be honest.

He looks up from his phone.

“He’s gorgeous.”

Yann smirks with knowing eyes.

“Are you going to answer him?” He asks innocently. As if he doesn't know already, the bastard.

Lucas doesn't dignify him with an answer. Instead, he looks back at his phone, fingers looming over the keyboard as he thinks of a good answer.

In the end, he settles with a simple text.

@lucallemant

hi? haha

He waits for a beat, then two, and tries not to feel disappointed when he doesn't get a text back.

He’s probably busy, he tells himself, or maybe he's sleeping? Lucas doesn't even know where he's from. He might be living in fucking California, for all he knows - although he really hopes that's not the case.

Noting his distress, Yann takes the phone from his grip and turns the volume off, tossing it to the other couch. He puts the controller in Lucas’ hands and squeezes his shoulder.

“C’mon. It's best friend quality time.” Yann gives him a gentle smile. “I demand attention now.”

Lucas bursts into a laugh - just like that, he forgets all about his phone and possible unanswered texts.

***

The hours fly by, and before he knows it, Lucas is saying goodbye to a freshly - beaten, grumpy Yann.

“I totally kicked your ass.” Lucas brags as they walk to the door.

“I totally let you win.” Yann fires back.

“You wish.” Lucas laughs before pulling Yann into a half-hug, patting him on the back. “See you tomorrow, dude.”

“Tomorrow.” Yann salutes and flashes him a smile, closing the door.

Lucas shakes his head, still smiling, and makes his way to the couch. His bed for the last few months, actually. It's a long story.

He sprawls himself on the sofa with his hands under his head, sighing. He should go shower.

He smells himself discreetly, pleased when he doesn't get the need to fill his nostrils with soap. He’ll shower tomorrow, then.

He’s starting to relax when his eyes land on his phone, still discarded on the other couch, and he swears. He'd completely forgotten about it.

With his heart in his throat, he pushes himself forward as he reaches for the phone.

It’s just a guy. I didn't even really know of his existence before today. He tells himself like a mantra. So what if he doesn't answer back? There's plenty more guys out there. Although maybe not as beautiful, or mesmerizing, or - okay, not helping.

He breaths through his nose before unlocking his phone.

A little sound leaves his mouth.

@srodulv

Hello :)

Okay. So they're really doing this, then. Cool. Totally cool. He's so not freaking out right now.

He types out an answer.

@lucallemantj

what's up with the dog pic?

He locks the phone again, holding it against his chest as he wills his heart to calm down. This time, he doesn't have to wait a second before his phone pings again.

@srodulv

With all the messages you must get, I though I should try to make an impression haha

Did it work?

So the guy isn't afraid to double text, then? Interesting.

@lucallemant

it definitely left an impression alright

@srodulv

A good one, I hope?

Lucas grins. He turns off the lights and gets himself comfortable on the couch, getting rid of the t-shirt he’s wearing.

It’s July, and he’s in the heart of Paris. Also, despite the good views this apartment might have, the air system would do with some fixing.

@lucallemant

sure :)

@srodulv

I’m Eliott

@lucallemant

i know

@srodulv

@lucallemant

it says on your profile

@srodulv

That makes sense haha

Lucas flushes. He can't believe he went with the ‘I know’ trope. He groans internally.

Did he fuck up?

@lucallemant

i’m lucas

When Eliott doesn't answer back, Lucas feels his heart fall to the floor. He definitely fucked up.

Fuck. This is why he never gets a date. He's so fucking awkward, God-

@srodulv

I know ;)

Lucas sighs with relief. He didn't fuck up yet, then.

He even sent him a winky face. That's good, right?

@lucallemant

i liked it, btw. the picture

@srodulv

I knew you would

Lucas bites his bottom lip, grinning from ear to ear.

@lucallemant

you did? what else do you know, then?

@srodulv

Hmmm…

Lucas grins even harder. This sounds so much like flirting. Are they flirting? Lucas is trying to, at least.

@srodulv

I know that you are very nice. You like singing, too. And you like guys who send you ridiculous pictures with dogs and pool toys, now.

@lucallemant

a bit pretentious with the last one

@srodulv

Am I wrong?

Lucas blushes. Not at all. He's not going to tell him that yet, though.

@lucallemant

wait you've seen my videos?

@srodulv

A couple of them

If Eliott notices the change of subject, he doesn't comment on it. Lucas is thankful.

@lucallemant

and what did you think?

@srodulv

Oh they're awful

Just kidding. I think you have an amazing voice, actually

@lucallemant

omg thank u

Should he do it?

Fuck it, he's going to do it.

@lucallemant

i’m kinda blushing over here haha

Double texting his crush. Yann would be proud.

@srodulv

Aww shame I can't see it. Where’s over here?

@lucallemant

Paris (:

@srodulv

Cool! I live there, too

Lucas tries not to freak out at the newfound information. He’s not doing a very good job, but he's certainly trying.

His fingers hoover over the keyboard, deciding whether he should type the text or not.

What he wants to say is, maybe we could go out for a drink, then?

What he types in instead, is

@lucallemant

weird we haven't bumped into each other yet lol

@srodulv

Well I’m not in Paris right now, actually

@lucallemant

where are you then??

@srodulv

London, for a job :) I’m staying here for a couple more weeks

What are you studying?

@lucallemant

that must be so cool!! i’ve never been to london, but i want to go so badly

and i’m studying biophysics. sounds boring, i know. and it takes so much time off my daily life i barely have time to post covers. thank god it's summer now

@srodulv

I would love to take you there sometime, then. If you want to

I want to. He wants to scream at his phone. I really fucking want to.

He resists the need to chuck his phone out the window in pure ecstatic.

@srodulv

And that sounds so interesting! Maybe one day you can give me one or two classes on the topic? Damn, you really have everything

@lucallemant

everything? i don't think so lol

@srodulv

You are super cute and nice. You have a killer voice. And now you are really fucking clever, too? That, sir, is having everything as far as I'm concerned

@lucallemant

i’m certainly not cute enough to be a model. Unlike *others*

and who are u calling sir omg I’m 19, not 90

@srodulv

You're a baby :o you would make the cutest baby model

@lucallemant

how old are u??

@srodulv

@lucallemant

what the fuck are you calling me baby for omg you’re literally two years older

@srodulv

Nope, sorry. You’re a baby

A BABY, Lucas

Lucas feels like his heart is going to burst. He doesn’t think he’s smiled for so long in years – maybe ever.

Eliott is doing things to his head. It’s not just that he is, admittedly, really attractive – Lucas won’t lie, it doesn’t hurt -, he’s also charming as hell. He’s making Lucas feel so special right now, and Lucas loves it.

He glances at the clock on his phone from the corner of his eye, mouth hanging open when his brain registers the time.

It's 3 a.m.

Have they really been talking for the past 2 hours?

@lucallemant

it’s 3 a.m. already, what?? how did this happen?

i should go to bed :/

@srodulv

You’re leaving me already? :(

@lucallemant

nooo i will be back, promise

i just have to get up really early tomorrow morning

@srodulv

Promise?

Lucas smiles. He’s so cute.

@lucallemant

i promise

@srodulv

Okay, then :)

Sleep well, Lucas ♡

@lucallemant

goodnight eliott

He debates with himself for a momet before making up his mind. Eliott did it first anyway, technically.

@lucallemant

♡

He locks his phone and leaves it on the table. Rolling himself over, he exhales, hiding his grin against the makeshift pillow.

Sleep comes to him fast, glimpses of smokey grey eyes and bright smiles painting his dreams with vivid colors.

When he wakes up, the sun coming through the big windows shines on his skin comfortably. He feels warm all over with the memories of last night, his dreams still present in his mind.

And when he sees Eliott’s new post, the caption //way down we go// glaring at him through the screen, he convinces himself it’s just a coincidence - despite having posted a cover of the same song less than 24 hours ago, and Eliott admitted he’d seen some of his videos. It’s a coincidence .

Nonetheless, when his friends ask if he forgot grumpy Lucas at home for the 4th time that morning, he just flips them off with a soaring heart.

He's still smiling.

#skam france #elu #elu fic #elu fluff #skamfr #skam fr s3 #skam fr season 3 #lucas x eliott

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theredpandaserver · 3 years

Text

S1 Ep 2: Self Image

Morning Greeting:

Good morning everyone and welcome to episode two of the podcast, I’m your host Rinn and today I am feeling great, I woke up this morning and relaxed in bed for a while and later I made some breakfast and instead of cooking I made some cinnamon fiber cereal. I didn’t want to be too lazy so I added some fresh blackberries and sliced strawberries and I don’t know about you guys listening but I’m lactose intolerant so I only buy almond milk. I know there’s a ton of other substitutes like soy milk and oat milk and actually so many people are saying that oat milk is a lot better than almond milk, especially if you order at Starbucks a lot I feel like every time I go there with a friend or something and I order a iced coffee with almond milk they always question if I ever tried oat milk before and would try to recommend it to me, I’m definitely not like fully against getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things so I would one hundred percent try it, maybe wait until next week’s episode to hear about whether or not I actually did and if I like it or not because I have some grocery shopping that I plan on doing Friday before I go on this mini vacation and that’s another story for another time obviously but anyways let’s go ahead and jump into the first topic of discussion for today because actually I really did put a lot of thought and effort into this episode so that it could actually be listenable if that’s even a word.

Opening Topic: You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

So I wanted to touch base on what I talked about in the first episode, mostly because I know that the first one was kind of all over the place and unorganized so this discussion will bring a bit of method to all that madness that once was the previous episode and I’m hoping that I can offer you all a bit of consistency and order and not just jump all over the place but I won’t make any promises. Let’s talk about how You Are Who You Surround Yourself With, okay. I did go a little in depth about what this meant to me but I felt the need to reiterate this point in particular because I truly didn’t do it justice love like I don’t know what else you want me to say. Quick side note as well before I continue, please don’t get mad at me if I delete the original first episode of the podcast because I was thinking about that but it’s not one hundred percent in motion yet, it might happen but also it might not, you’re just going to have to wait and see.

When you think about society and how everyone interacts with each other, today especially, you’ll notice that everyone has one thing in common. We all want to fit in or be accepted by our family or peers. Sometimes in order to feel or be accepted in certain groups we even often find ourselves doing things like smoking or drinking alcohol socially, gossiping, or even doing things that completely go against all our morals and beliefs.

When I say, “you are who you surround yourself with” this is exactly what I’m referring to. Hanging out with a group of friends, those friends start gossiping about someone that they don’t even know and you participating in that gossip so that you can be included in the conversation. Here’s a less toxic example, let’s say me and you are best friends and I wanted to go for a hike this afternoon but I didn’t want to do it alone. Even if you’ve never been hiking with me before, I decided to call and invite you to hike with me since we’re such good friends. If you’re bored or have nothing better to do you’re most likely going to say yes and go on this hike we me regardless of wether you actually really want to or not. As your friend, if we hang out everyday and I’m making healthy decisions, you’re probably going to as well.

The overall moral of the discussion is surround yourself with people that are going to bring out the best in you and promote positivity in your life because when you’re around positive energy, you’re almost guaranteed to life a fuller and more rewarding life than you would have lived around unhappy, unhealthy and negative individuals. I think that’s all I wanted to say in a nutshell about that topic and with that being said let’s take a short break for a moment and touch base on another topic afterwards.

Break: Discord Promotion

Have you ever gotten on the internet and thought to yourself “wow, I would love to find a social group I could join to make new, non-toxic friends to just talk about my day and have fun with” well you’re in luck because this week’s podcast is brought to you by the discord server The Red Panda. The Red Panda is a wholesome family-like community server that offers a relaxing and non-toxic environment where you can really get to know our members and participate in fun activities such as weekly anime streams, nitro giveaways, non profit organization promotions and so much more. With a wide variety of members all over the globe, there’s never a dull moment in The Red Panda, join using the invite code https://discord.gg/NFbTQa64Vk discord dot g g, forward slash, capital N F, lowercase b, capital T Q, lowercase a, 6 4 capital V lowercase k. To gain full access to the server, visit the guidelines tab and react to the verification post at the top of the channel using the green check mark symbol.

Main Topic: Self Image

First of all if you’ve made it this far and you’re still listening I want to say thank you for tuning in today. The main topic for this weeks podcast is going to be about your self image. So self image looks very different for a lot of people, now for me personally this is something that I really struggle with being positive about like I could wake up one day and look in the mirror and say wow I look really good today but then the next day I might look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize the person that’s looking back at me and I think I look completely repulsive even though literally nothing changed about my physical appearance from day one to day two. I honestly can’t explain why I do this because even I don’t really understand it and if I could like completely cut that out trust me I would. I would very much rather walk around feeling like the hottest shit on the entire Earth than to be insecure about my own self image for even half a second.

I think a big part of having a good and strong self image towards yourself is really faking it until you make it. You genuinely have to convince yourself day in and day out that you are beautiful, you are perfect, you are enough and you are loved so that you can eventually really start to feel those things from yourself. When you think about it, love is dedication and consistency, if you have that dedication to take the time treat yourself right and you’re consistent about doing it then soon after, you’re really going to find that positive self image that you worked so hard to build and I promise you’re going to enjoy every moment of it.

Everyone tuning in today, I want us to take a moment to really do some self care together to help build our self image. Maybe you already have the a great self image and you love everything about yourself, that’s perfect, good for you. This is just a fun mental exercise for everyone to do just to see how consistent you can really be and how you feel about yourself afterwards. When you wake up in the morning, for the rest of the week I want you to look in whatever mirror you have in your home and just tell yourself that you love yourself and that you’re enough or whatever other affirmations you want to remind yourself about each day. Then at the end of the week you can comment down below how you’re feeling or you can join the discord server and talk to me and the rest of the community directly and it can just be a fun little activity for everyone to get involved with. If you quit halfway through that’s okay! If you did it the entire week, that’s awesome and if you didn’t do it at all but you still tuned into the podcast then that’s perfectly fine! It’s all up to you guys and who knows maybe I’ll do it and forget about it or give up after a few days or so or maybe even get through the whole week, either way I’ll be right here again next week and I’ll try to remember to give you all a personal update on here as well as in the discord server with all of you, it’ll be a fun game in the end either way.

Wrap Up: Rebranding

So I’m sure you all noticed that there have been a few minor changes in the discord server and there’s a few more things that are still being worked on and will definitely come some time soon in the future. We’re currently in the process of not just rebranding but just finding ourselves in general. Who are we and what do we represent? What kind of impression do we want to leave on the future members of our community and what kind of activities do we want this community to even have?

Quite literally everything is still up for debate and is kind of just floating around in the air, waiting for a final decision. If you have a idea of what you would like the server to look like, how it should operate or what activities we should have please let us know down below or in the chat about it with us in the server about all your great ideas and watch them come to life.

Last Words

Thank you guys so much again for tuning into this episode of podcast and for supporting us and being part of our community, I think a good name for this podcast could be The Red Pandas Table, let me know what you all think about that. I’m your host Rinn and I had fun chatting with you all today, technically it’s night time because I’m recording this late in the afternoon and I’ve literally almost passed out today five different times and I still haven’t even cooked dinner yet which is the craziest part about it. Anyways, hugs and kisses and I’ll see you soon, bye!

#podcast #lgbt pride #mentalheathawareness #trevor project #suicide prevention

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