#I like the combat and social aspect of Overwatch a lot more so far

[grayembers]

So Destiny 2 is finally on PC and it’s so gorgeous I could die. Actually I frequently do die. By jumping off cliffs that funny enough are not places you can go down to look at.

Peri gave me a lore video to watch and I have some blogs/tags to plunder but I wanted to type up my first impressions because I didn’t take notes on my phone for nothing

I have to say, the most crushing blow to my expectations is that Cayde is pronounced “Kade” rather than “Kay-dee” which is how I always read it for the last. Two? Three years?? I refuse to believe you’d put a silent y in the middle of the name when Cade/Kade are also names that exist

Anyway

I played my first 2 hours alone, which was up through finding the EDZ and getting my light back, then played with friends for the rest of the storyline.

To get the scenery gushing out of the way: oh my god, I forgot how much I missed outer space scenery until loading into this game. Like, No Man’s Sky did provide a nice booster shot and I legitimately enjoy the game, but it just can’t compare to actual level design and detail work in these Destiny maps. A little way through the first mission, it actually made me a bit nostalgic for Mass Effect too (particularly 3). I think Nessus is my fav so far, the color combination is SO good

To give you a good idea, I left my team for a bit today and rejoined them, and as soon as I spotted a side room with pretty lights I wandered into it, freaked out about how cool the dark patches with sparkly lights are and how weird it is when you get close to them, and they laughed and told me that was EXACTLY what they’d predicted I’d do.

Gamplay stuff

I misread the enemies as “legendary” instead of “legionary” and thought they were just trying to stroke my ego right up front.

It is reeeaaaally not obvious which doors will and won’t open. The story missions are quite linear, but I have trouble knowing which door will actually take me somewhere without consulting my ghost.

I absolutely adore the jumping and gliding mechanics (though I had to have Peri explain to me how your angle works), and parkour/climbing scenery frequently leads to great views and/or my death. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be that advantageous to find weird positions in fights. I’d love to stay up on pillars and snipe, but I never seem to have enough sniper ammo.

Speaking of ammo, ... I can’t remember why I put this bullet point down, it literally just says “Ammo”. Maybe I was just gonna comment on how it’s weird to actually have ammo now since Overwatch is infinite? It drops pretty generously, but I have to actually go pick it up which I don’t want to do in the middle of a firefight, so eh.

I basically already loved my ghost before I even started playing, but I Love My Ghost.

As much as I dig outer space, the Earth scenery is actually fairly captivating as well. Like, when you start following the hawk, I was just looking around in wonder. And I also jumped off a cliff for the first time because I didn’t see the path jog to the right and assumed you go straight, which turns out is a fairly common cause of my death.

I really enjoy the “sight to fight” ratio, so to speak. The only fight that’s been really obnoxiously long was changing my subclass back to Voidwalker. There’s whole stretches of areas on the story missions where you just look around. Enjoy the view. Enjoy it even more if you don’t move on for like five minutes. Coughs

The starting gear was honestly my favorite look I’ve had so far, I really wish there was a way to keep it. I know I’ll probably be getting cool legendaries soon that look nice, but ugh the golden edging just matched my glowing golden eyes so well! I did also really enjoy that tunic with the little wings that lets you hover and shoot, but it only works with Dawnbreaker subclass which was a huge bummer.

I do wish the subclasses had more customization/options. I have extra skill points and nowhere to put them? I only have a handful of options that are all unrelated to each other as opposed to rpg skill trees that I’m used to. Ehhh. (Also not very many facial customization options. :| )

The map is a ton more cohesive and like... seamless? Than I expected? Like I thought you’d have to go through a bunch of menus any time you wanted to do a different activity, but you can just run across open world maps and happen into public activities, find the flags for adventures and decide to just do it, and so on. It’s been really neat.

Lore I feel like I don’t know very well atm, but I’m gonna soon. There are a lot of scenes that I kinda figure would hit harder if I’d played Destiny 1.

Also I just want Ikora and hawk lady to love me.

And shoutout to my Overwatch friends for dragging me into Destiny 2 with them!! I was on the fence about it, admittedly partially because I feel like I’m just leagues behind on lore/dedication compared to people I follow here on Tumblr and I’m hesitant about dipping my toes in, but then I decided aw fuck it. I dunno what my activity level will be, but it’s not like I’m obligated to join in. Shrugs. And also I figured it would be worth it just for the scenery (and it was......)

#even though I ended up live texting Silt anyway #but am I really invested in something if I don't make inordinately long posts about it? #talkblogging Destiny 2 #if ur on PC and wanna hang hmu #also hilariously I just got a friend to start Overwatch and now I'm eyeing up Destiny 2 icon #I like the combat and social aspect of Overwatch a lot more so far #so I doubt I'll wholesale abandon it

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Excuse me! But where is my Sanders Sides Gamer AU???

Voices in my head: Gee Bunny, it seems you have no problem writing a lot of other fics and stuff yet you still haven’t even finished the next chapter of your Spiderverse fic???

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP DISEMBODIED VOICES IN MY HEAD!!! IF YOU WANT THAT FIC DONE SO BADLY TELL MY LOGIC AND CREATIVITY TO GET THEIR ASSES IN GEAR AND GIVE ME SOME GOD DAMN INSPIRATION!!!!

Voices in my head:.....

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought! Anyways, idk if I just missed a memo or something but I haven’t seen any Gamer AU of my boys and that is a crime in and of itself! Like, how dare! But fret not, I am here to provide content (Read: headcannons) that you did not ask for! Let us begin! Or should I say start!

(please note that I am not a gaming expert so feel free to add or correct stuff)

NOW WITH A PART 2!!!!

MAIN SQUAD

Roman Rosewood

Obviously loves RPGs! Anything with a good story line really! Or has medieval fantasy aesthetic!

Skyrim, Diablo, Undertale, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Fallout, Red Dead Redemption, Undertales, Dragon Age, God of War Dark Souls, Assassins Creed, Earthbound, etc.

Played West of Loathing just so he could rip on it but actually ended up loving it and spending way to many hours playing. Then he found out there was a game called Kingdom of Loathing by the same creators and went down that rabbit hole as well.

He was iffy about getting into JRPGs but then Virgil convinced him to play Persona 5 and he absolutely fell in love with the music!

All the music in his phone is either from musicals or Video games!

Also really likes choose your own adventure games like Detroit: Become Human, Life is Strange, and Telltale Games

So much video game merch! Usually figurines because he likes to make little shelves and display cases for them.

He also really likes multiplayer games because he’s a social butterfly and likes to play with his squad.

Sucks at first person shooter games but still willingly plays Fortnight or Call of Duty or Left for Dead with his friends because he doesn’t want to be a drag and complain. But also they sometimes die in game in the most hilarious ways and it just leaves everybody wheezing.

Virgil Dante

Horror games, obvs!

All about that dark aesthetic!

Devil May Cry, Silent Hill, Fran Bow, Sally Face, Resident Evil, The Witch’s House, Amnesia, Little Nightmares, Bendy and The Ink Machine, Alice: Madness Returns, SCP-Containment, Pony Island, etc.

Yes, he’s played all the Five Nights At Freddy’s games. It’s a good series and it isn’t his fault the fandom is bat shit crazy and full of ten year olds! Fuck you Roman!

Every time the Walking Dead comes out he knows he’ll end up crying by the end of it. He and the squad make and event out of it.

Japanese horror games are usually his favorite because they deal more with the psychological aspects of horror instead of the jump scares

So, yes, he’s also a fan of Corps Party and Fatal Frame

Also really good at first person shooters because he has a really steady hand (you usually have to when playing horror games least you want to restart the level) and it pisses Roman off to no end every time Virgil randomly headshots him.

Usually likes to by merch in the form of posters, t-shirts, or beanies. He only buys figurines if it’s a game he really, really likes.

At first didn’t know why people kept bugging him to play Doki Doki Literature Club but then he finally caved and...oh...that’s why.

Logan Mill

My boy loves puzzle and strategy games yo!

Legend of Zelda, Portal, Tetris, Unravel, World of Goo, Inside, Limbo, Pokemon, Shadow of the Colossus, StarCraft, Command and Conquer, Age of Empire, Heart of Iron, World of Warcraft, etc.

He likes Overwatch but doesn’t like playing with people online so he usual solos or asks the others to play. But that too usually ends in chaos.

Hates rage games because he gets frustrated easily and has broken at least four keyboards and two controllers

He still plays them anyways because he can beat it damn it! Just give him a minute!

Enjoys the God of War series despite all the mythological inaccuracies

He plays a lot of Minecraft to relax or destress and has build beautiful works of architecture and sometimes entire cities.

He thought it was stupid and childish and was embarrassed about it for a long time until the squad came over to his house one day uninvited and caught him playing. He was getting ready for them to make fun of him but they instead gushed about how AMAZING everything looked and how TALENTED he was for building all himself.

Logan ends up showing them how to play afterwards and they work together to make weird sculptures and complex tunnels underground.

He likes practical merch like backpacks, coffee mugs, pencil holders, notebooks, ect. as well as a few t-shirts and novelty ties.

Yes, he does collect Pokemon cards!

Patton Adley

Silly dating sims, farming games, and any cute game really! Plus a few side scroller games!

Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Slime Rancher, The Sims, Dream Daddy, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Monster Prom, Hatoful Boyfriend, Scribblenauts, Night In The Woods, Ni Nu Kuni, etc.

Big Nintendo fan!

He made the mistake of playing Doki Doki Literature Club without reading the warning tags and regrets it immensely...still a good game though.

He did the same thing with Huni Pop but that one made him laugh more then anything and he kind of got addicted to it. Then he found out there was a sequel called HuniCam so he went down that rabbit hole too.

He likes a lot of phone app games too like Cut the Rope, Neko Atsume, and Candy Crush.

Loves trashy dating app games, he thinks they’re so funny and cheesy

He was addicted to Mystic Messenger for a long while

Just because he has his preference doesn’t mean he won’t try other games too, Logan got him hooked on World of Warcraft (though really he did that to everyone), Virgil showed him Hollow Knight, and Roman suggested he play Undertales.

Prefers merch in the form of plushies and key chains!

He likes to bake and decorate cookies, cakes and pastries in the form of his favorite video game characters.

RED SQUAD

Duncan [Deceit] Adley (Patton’s twin)

A lot of first person shooter and combat games!

Doom Series, Super Smash Bros, Mortal Combat, Halo, Fortnight, Grand Theft Auto, Street Fighter, Tekken, Soul Calibur, Half-Life, Team Fortress, Destiny, Wolfenstein, Bio Shock, Splatoon, PUBg etc.

Patton was the one that introduced him to Splatoon and he won’t admit that it’s actually super fun.

Doesn’t mind story driven games and RPGs but he really just wants something he can zone out to and relax

He likes to troll people online, mainly assholes picking on little kids who just want to play.

He once teamed up with a group of kids on Call of Duty solely for the purpose of collectively kicking the asses of this groups of so called “real gamers” that were being jerks.

Has memorized all the combos! He doesn’t have time to sit and look up a cool finishing move, he needs it now!

Always mains the weakest/most useless character in fighting games and still manages to kick everyone’s ass.

Doesn’t have a preference in merch and usually grabs whatever he likes be it figurines, t-shirts, posters, plushies, or whatever, so long as he likes the game it comes from.

Has several tattoos from his favorite games

Emile Picani

Classic retro games, cartoonish games, and Nintendo are his jam broham!

Mario, Classic Sonic, Paper Boy, Transylvania, Spyro, Pac Man, All the Saga Disney games, Duck Hunt, Mario Kart, Galaga, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Secret of Mana, Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, etc.

Absolutely fell in love with Shovel Knight when it came out!

Remy got him into all the indie pixel games: Towerfall, Terraria, Owlboy, Hotline Miami, Papers Please, Celeste, One Shot, etc.

Duncan was the one that introduced him to Cuphead and the usually play it together and see how far each of them can go without dying.

The game is difficult but the art is still so breathtaking!

Likes the occasional psychological thriller game

Bet Virgil showed him Alice: Madness Returns and Doki Doki Literature Club (after he’s played it of course)

Likes plushies and figurine merch with the occasional poster and coffee mug.

Likes to doodle a lot of his fav video game characters and cartoons and is actually really good at it. He helped design most of Duncan’s tattoos.

Remy Knightly

Likes a lot of indie games and old online flash games!

The Stanley Parables, Oxenfree, Inside, Firewatch, Super MeatBoy, The Binding of Issac, Donut County, Henry Stickman series, Impossible Quiz, Crush the Castle series, Hyper Light Drifter, etc.

He always gets everybody hooked on one game or another

He convinced everyone to play Undertales so for like a month they all went through a HUGE Undertales faze.

Was the actual, ACTUAL one that showed Duncan Cuphead because he knew the dork would be reminded of Emile because of the animation and would want to show it to him and play multiplayer (*cough* subtle matchmaker *cough*)

(Do not be fooled, he is a pinning boy himself)

Is up to date in all the gossip of the latest games and consuls, indie or mainstream! He’s in the know, know and if you need to know something chances are Remy probably knows it.

Weeds out through all the indie horror games for Virgil and recommends what he thinks are the best ones.

Same thing with Logan and his puzzle games, he’s usually is able to find very strange ones and Logan seems to likes those best.

Obviously has a lot of merch in coffee mug and thermal form as well as a few key chains.

Occasionally streams on Twitch with Duncan and Emile (sometimes inviting the main squad too), they’re commentary is usual hilarious.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #sleep sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #emile picani #red #prinxeity #logicality #(kind of mainly in my head) #video games #gamer au

[junker-town]

5 takeaways from the first week of NBA 2K League action

After watching the NBA 2K Tip-Off Tournament, it’s clear the League is doing some things right, while some elements need work.

After months of speculation, anticipation and excitement, the NBA 2K League made its debut with a Tip-Off Tournament, which started on May 1. People have been trying to gauge the potential of this league both positively and negatively, so I’m not here to make snap judgments. Instead, I’m going to give my thoughts and takeaways from the first week.

Commentary is fire

After watching the NBA 2K League draft clash, I was a little bit concerned about how the commentary would sound when the league started. Don’t get me wrong, the commentary crew was okay there, but it’s going to go over better when you have a crew that knows about strategies and lingo that are specific to 2K.

So I was delighted to see that the commentary was fire this week. This is thanks in part due to the charisma of esports play-by-play legend Scott Cole and the analysis of Jamie “Dirk” Ruiz.

Cole has been lending his talents on the competitive Madden realm for a while, and it was impressive for him to seamlessly transition into competitive 2K. Ruiz’s expertise and analysis stem from him calling Pro-Am games that featured a number of players in this league. It was a no-brainer to add him to the broadcast team.

The thing that makes this commentary crew really good, though, is their awareness. Over the several-day tournament, Cole brought up topics and arguments he saw on Twitter and Twitch chat in his postgame interviews with players.

Dirk uses his expertise and analysis to take things that are known only to NBA 2K fans and explains them to people who might just be joining the stream out of curiosity, or the NBA 2K League fans that don’t play 2K. That’s a very important part of esports broadcasting to a mainstream audience. Just listen to this analysis:

Presentation is good, but it can be even better.

I’m torn as a fan of both basketball and NBA 2K. For everyone who’s ever played NBA 2K, you know that during the game you often get graphics that show the score, runs, hot streaks, and much more. I didn’t see a single one during gameplay. Yes, after the game you would see the box score, but that’s about it. I’m not talking about the full-on cutscenes during dead balls or the halftime show. (The last thing I want is cutscenes.)

Here’s what I’m talking about. This is from 2K17, but it still applies because I know these features are also in 2K18:

See how you can view the stats/attributes of the player you’re controlling and the way the “Raptors Run” shows up on screen after that? The current NBA 2K League broadcasts are devoid of in-game chyrons. The broadcast does cut to the faces of the players with the controller in their hand and that’s good, but someone like me wants to know about the stats that don’t show up in the regular box score.

One of 2K’s strengths is making many game modes feel like a broadcast, so it’s weird as to why a lot of these elements are missing from the NBA 2K League broadcasts. It would be cool to know when a team is on a run, or if they’ve been on fire from the paint.

Here’s an example of what the Overwatch league does when they want to tell us a special stat.

While one of the strengths of the league so far is the broadcasting, people shouldn’t feel lost if they’re watching with the sound off. I know NBA 2K can make these changes to the game — it’s only a matter of if they do it or not.

On the bright side, they did make changes to certain things during the week, like letting us hear what the players are saying over timeouts and post-game interviews with players. Those are changes on the positive track and won’t be surprised if they steadily improve in this aspect over time.

Partnership with Twitch will be something to keep an eye on.

This is an interesting partnership between 2K and Twitch. When you see a league like Overwatch or League of Legends, a lot of people who watch it reside on Twitch. For NBA 2K18, the platform of choice for people watching 2K has been mostly YouTube. This is the same for competitive Madden broadcasts, but they combat that by simulcasting on YouTube, Twitch, Facebook Live and Periscope.

THE TIPOFF Playoffs are on TODAY! Quarterfinals 1-5pm ET Semifinals 5-7pm ET Finals 7-8pm ET : https://t.co/IWibnYP9k4 pic.twitter.com/rcV8xiEbpm

— NBA2KLeague (@NBA2KLeague) May 5, 2018

I’m curious how the league will fare in converting normal NBA and NBA 2K fans into fans of the league. We’re talking about a game that has over 2 million followers on Twitter, 1.9 million followers on Instagram and over 6.5 million likes on its Facebook page. It will be interesting to see how the social media team’s strategy for cross-platform promotion, especially since you can’t watch live Twitch streams on other platforms until the broadcast is over.

2K should celebrate the league and embrace its community

Yes, It’s cool to see the game dip its toe into esports, but I can understand why people would be frustrated with how NBA 2K is prioritizing the league. For example. the regular NBA 2K game doesn’t have private matchmaking for Pro-AM mode, but the NBA 2K League does. That’s frustrating to every competitive Pro-AM player that isn’t in the league because it’s something the community has been asking for for some time now.

Waiting for opponent @Pacers_Gaming pic.twitter.com/bu72oKmpCv

— Wizards District Gaming (@WizardsDG) April 16, 2018

I have watched countless Twitch streams where two teams are actively trying to play each other, but it takes 20 minutes because they might be assigned to other teams instead. Private matchmaking being available would be helpful for the ProAM community. Also, this game mode is different from regular ProAM — the badges aren’t as powerful and sliders are different. What if NBA 2K made a mode similar to the combine available all year? That way players who have aspirations to be in the league can get used to the league-approved archetypes and stuff. The relationship between NBA 2K and the community has been tense this year and it won’t look good if NBA 2K19 doesn’t have private matchmaking.

The esports spotlight could be a good thing for fixes... maybe.

NBA 2K will be under the microscope from both 2K and basketball fans alike. It will be interesting to see what NBA 2K will do when clear exploits and gameplay problems arise. Will they go in and patch/fix them, or will they just let it ride? For example, NBA 2K18 has this glitch that allows teams to call a timeout even during the loose ball animation. This has been a thing since the game’s release.

It's minor but it isn't minor when it comes down to crucial possessions. Fix the timeout loose ball glitch, please. pic.twitter.com/GH0K8YmKMO

— Comp Bayless (@2kCompGames) May 4, 2018

It’s on NBA 2K, not the players, to do something about this. Certain issues like this will arise and be put on a whole new pedestal, especially since these tournaments and games could lead to a lot of money being won. Will the fact that these things could affect the league spur NBA 2K into fixing them?

I guess we’ll find out.

[jw2000edition]

As Awkward Teen begins her foray into the world of blogging she remembers those precious moments when Supermum sat cackling away at the 'Peter and Jane' Facebook blog. Occasionally deeming iDad and Awkward Teen worthy of knowing what particularly relatable line Supermum found funny. Obviously while doing this Supermum chooses to leave out the swearing for Awkward Teen's more sensitive ears, forgetting that both Supermum and iDad do not use language filters as they once did and in addition forgetting that Awkward teen goes to Bitchy Girls Secondary School.

Actually Awkward Teen (by some miracle) has completed Bitchy Girls Secondary School and begins Bitchy Girls 6th Form in a week along side her S.Q.U.A.D. (Socially Questionable Under Aged Disasters). This S.Q.U.A.D. consisted of many at one time, but on the long road to 6th form there now remain only four. Awkward teen's best friend, The Evil Twin. Awkward Teen's other best friend, Bob. And Awkward Teen's other other best friend Musical Fanatic (occasionally referred to as Swiftie). Other non-present members of Awkward Teen's S.Q.U.A.D. are The Saint and Sminter.

On this particular day however Awkward Teen woke, happily prepared to continue her summer holiday routine of 11 o'clock wake ups and lounging around in the rarer-than-a-unicorn British sunshine. Instead Awkward Teen is awoken by non other than her own body because apparently 6 o'clock in the bloody morning is a good time for your stomach muscles to cramp in that unmistakable way... You need to pee.

This is also the time at which Supermum has awoken to feed Flopcat and Witchescat and open their catflap for them. This must happen at 6 o'clock precisely, everyday, even weekends and holidays, and they must have their breakfast layed out for them (even though Flopcat will take one bite and sprint for the backdoor) otherwise the family get left with presents which have often lead iDad to rename the family pets 'Shitcats'.

But having awoken and used the freshly redecorated bathroom, which both Supermum and iDad F'd and Blinded over, Awkward Teen crawls back into bed only to realise that this rarer-than-a-unicorn hot weather will make it impossible to get back to sleep. It is however (in true teenage fashion) that Awkward Teen refused to accept this and lies tossing and turning in a feeble attempt to regain a semblance of sleep or drowsiness before giving in at 10:47 and getting her arse out of bed and dressed all while mumbling about how 'she got a rarer-than-a-unicorn 9 in her English Language GCSE and shouldn't have to deal with rarer-than-a-fucking-unicorn weather'.

Upon descending the stairs Awkward Teen realises that sucking it up and getting out of bed at a bloody reasonable hour would have saved her a lot of grief as Boy Sibling has taken up residency on Awkward Teen's favourite spot on the couch and has begun playing 'Overwatch' on his P.S.4. (Or as Awkward Teen thinks of it Piss-taking Shit 4ever). Awkward Teen briefly thinks back to the time when he wasn't obsessed with the hell-blessed game. Boy Sibling has taken it upon himself to ensure that the whole house must know (in detail) every aspect of the game. That's not the say that Boy Sibling actually explains the game to Supermum, iDad and Awkward Teen, heavens no! Instead Boy Sibling chooses to wear fancy headphones when he plays the game, the type which allow him to shout down a microphone in an attempt to be heard by his school mates who are doing the exact same thing in their living rooms at 11 o'clock in the morning. And if Boy Sibling is not doing that then he is sitting with an entirely different set of headphones on watching tutorial videos made by man-children who swear too much and name their 'combat strategies'  stupid fucking things like the 'Sexy Junk Rat'???

To put the cherry on the top of the cake Boy sibling will laugh hysterically all the way through these videos (keeping in mind that he wears head phones) under the pretext that he doesn't wish to disturb anyone (which Boy Sibling fucking does with his hyena laugh) when really he just wishes to hide the overdose of swearing from Supermum and iDad. And while Boy Sibling laughs he interrupts Awkward Teen's most precious and sacred time: Supernatural Binge.

For those who have yet to discover it, Awkward Teen highly recommends that you binge all 12 seasons of this angelic-demonic-Winchestery goodness. Awkward Teen holds a very special place in her heart for Castiel and for Mark Sheppard and she also looks forward to the day she can stand next to Mark Sheppard and giggle over the fact she is taller that him.

But that was a tangent and Awkward Teen gets off topic. Who can blame Awkward Teen? The show has Jensen Ackles snd Jared Padalecki.

Arriving downstairs late meant that breakfast and lunch are too close to one another which messes with Awkward Teens eating schedule (which is whenever) and means that when iDad asks her what she wants for lunch, she doesn't bloody know!

"Supermum and I are going to get things for ouch from Tescos. Do you want anything?" iDad asks.

Most Teenagers would jump at this chance, Awkward Teen however is not most Teenagers.

"I can't think of anything off the top of my head." Replies Awkward Teen.

This only leaves iDad to walk out the front door mumbling to Supermum about how "walking through doorways takes things off of Awkward Teen's head she's so tall. Why can she get off her arse and come with us?"

Supermum, like the absolute boss she is, launched into a fantastic rant about how Awkward Teen was just not the type to take advantage of iDad's willingness to buy ridiculous amounts of junk food and respected him too much for that. Or that's what Awkward Teen liked to think Supermum had said. In all likelihood Supermum was probably informing iDad that there were far better ways for Awkward Teen to use the bank of iDad than on junk food. Books and DVDs were common examples of this.

Supermum announces their arrival home an hour or so later and calls everyone together for 'a family lunch' which will roughly translate into everyone in everyone else's way whilst they attempt to make their individual lunches. iDad as always uses the leftovers of that week's dinners to construct a seemingly inedible sandwich. Today's selection was Saturday's chili con carne with guacamole and salsa, all in all not the weirdest thing iDad has ever concocted. However as per usual, conversation over food with the iDad quickly turned to toilet humour. The running joke in the house is that peanut butter is the 'Scrapings of Satan's Scrotum' and since the iDad regaled us with a story of how his father used to have peanut butter and salad cream sandwiches he quickly launches into old habits. The fact that he had also bought Awkward Teen savoury eggs for lunch (a favourite of  Awkward Teen's) meant that they got coined 'Satan's dumplings' and thus put Awkward Teen off eating them ever again.

Now if only he could find a way to put Awkward Teen off chocolate, the family scales would thank him for that!