Hobie Brown variant OC:
I finally decided to make Symbiote!Hobie (nicknamed SH by Hobie, which over time turned into Sage) his own thing, cause I've made so many changes to him that I've decided he's just gonna be another version of Hobie from another dimension.
I basically came up with him when thinking about what it would take for Hobie to truly bond with a symbiote and this is what I came up with.
While he's technically Hobie too I'm gonna refer to him as Sage in this post to avoid confusion <3
Gonna start with his appearance and then move on to his origins and how he got involved with the Spider-Society:
Disclaimer: I cannot draw so I haven't even attempted at drawing his face cause I know I'd never be able to draw him in a way I'd like- So I did the next best thing:
(He has a normal face I just tried to find a way for me to draw him without drawing his face lol)
Pictured above is Sage and his symbiote K.A.T (and their symbiote form- yeah it's the same as Venom!Hobie cause I like the design lol)
He looks like Hobie but younger- he's around 11 when he's bitten by the spider and fused with K.A.T - he's around 12 when he gets introduced to the Spider-Society
He's got short hair as it was completely shaved off when he got caught by Oscorp - more about this under his origins - he wants to let it grow out after meeting Hobie and being inspired by his approach to his looks (he really looks up to Hobie but don't tell anyone I said that!)
His left iris is white as a result of the symbiote DNA being fused to him. He can make it match his right eye if he concentrates but only really bothers to do so if he feels it draws too much attention
After meeting Hobie he helps Sage get a few piercings of his own
He usually wears a hoodie and/or a mask to hide his face - he's super paranoid and does his best to hide himself from others
Never goes anywhere without his noice cancelling earmuffs - he's got enhanced senses due to his spider powers but they can be a bit of a nuisance since he's also sensitive to loud noises due to his symbiote...
He also usually wears sunglasses to shield himself from sensory overload as he was subjected to it a lot as part of the experiments he was put through at Oscorp - and thus getting his senses overstimulated can result in panic attacks, so he does what he can to avoid it + it hides his eyes as well
K.A.T (Killing Authority-opposing Targets) is Sage's symbiote
It usually stays hidden unless they're alone or around people they trust/already knows about its presence.
If it does show itself it'll usually stay on Sage's shoulder or sit in his lap, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways
The reason K.A.T takes this form is that Sage is a cat person and it used it as a method to make him like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Sage calm down and still does
K.A.T is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Sage doesn't mind but most other people get suprised when they first touch it
If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises - if it dislikes someone it'll hiss and arch its back at them
K.A.T is a more animalistic symbiote and mainly communicates with Sage by letting him feel its emotions instead of speaking to him
To avoid making the post even longer than it's already gonna be I'll link to this post where I go into more detail about the design of thier Symbiote form instead of describing it here too ^^'.
This was originally supposed to be a short summary but I've realised I'm incapable of making short posts when it comes to stuff like this:
Origin:
Sage is a younger version of Hobie Brown. (11 years old when bitten by the spider and fused with his symbiote)
Sage and K.A.T "met" at one of Oscorp's labs
He was living as a homeless kid (having escaped an abusive household a few months prior)
He was bitten by a radioactive spider while looking for a place to spend the night.
He got very sick from the bite and was easily captured by Oscorp goons looking for new test subjects in the streets
Despite his young age Sage is a more ruthless Hobie variant, in part due to his upbringing and due to his symbiote (and the trauma they both go through at the hands of Oscorp)
K.A.T was a new kind of experimental symbiote that was set to be terminated due to it killing all its previous hosts - Sage was their last attempt at fusing it with someone
They decide to fuse it with Sage as he was deemed indisposable due to him seeming more dead than alive - suffering from the venom of spider bite at the time - and thus it wouldn't be a problem if the symbiote killed him too
Since the spider bite was still changing his DNA as he got fused with K.A.T some of its DNA got fused with him as well as a "side effect" during the process
Due to this it's incredibly hard (if not impossible) to seperate the symbiote from Sage without severely hurting them both
His body develops organic web shooters when it fuses with K.A.T - the webs are black and can be shot from either of his 4 arms when in his symbiote form (they can also be shot regularly while in his human form)
Sage develops enhanced senses and a taste for human flesh after being fused with K.A.T - he also has enhanced senses from the spider bite - making it easy to overstimulate his senses and overwhelm him before he learns to get it more under control
Since Sage's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Sage's new powers)
The main scientist behind the experiments is this dimension's version of Peter Parker!
Sage eventually manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on his way out as possible - and eating some of them as well
As a result of their treatment at the lab + his past with his abusive foster family, both Sage and K.A.T have developed a deep distrust to other people - at this point they both consider the other their only friend
Sage goes back to living as a homeless kid, avoiding people as best as he can, but he's also got an insatiable taste for human flesh as well!
He will usually target anyone associated with Oscorp when he's hungry (if none are available cops are the next best thing- his dimension is just as corrupt as -138 Hobie's dimension)
He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)
Due to his senses being extra sensitive + his paranoia from his experiences at the lab and his foster homes, he tries to avoid crowded and noisy places - This all leads to him being more active at night while he usually tries to lay low and hide during the day.
He lived like this for months until a certain event changed that:
First encounter with the Spider-Society
Sage's dimension is blacklisted meaning people from the Spider-Society aren't allowed to go there (cause a spider-person who's embracing their symbiote instead of resisting it is deemed unsafe by Miguel and thus best to be avoided)
Sage does still get introduced to the spider-society albeit through a rather unconventional way:
- One day a portal opens up and pulls Sage through it, sending him to another dimension as an anomaly
Having no idea about what's going on, and being scared and confused about the whole situation, he does his best to lay low and avoid other people.
Because of this he spends a lot of time in the other dimension before the society discovers signs of an anormaly - glitched objects like seen when Kingpen uses the collider in itsv, or the museum that the Vulture appears in in atsv
Sage eventually has his first run in with other spider people when his hunger gets the best of him and he becomes more careless as he turns into his symbiote form to go look for prey
Here he encounters Gwen and Peter B as they're looking for the anomaly causing things to glitch out in the dimension
Not knowing he's a spider person and an actual child, Peter and Gwen attack him as they always do with anomalies - it also doesn't help that Sage doesn't exactly look friendly when in his symbiote form.
He fights back cause these masked people attacked him for no reason so they must be bad guys and of course he's gonna defend himself - it also doesn't help that he's starving and thus not thinking clearly at this point.
Unfortunately for him, these guys have high frequency equipment to deal with symbiotes and thus they manage to subdue him, but not before he manages to fight back, revealing his organic webbing which tips Gwen and Peter off to him having spider powers as well
He's subdued and forced into an electric cage (which brings back a lot of unpleasant memories from his time at Oscorp) and sent to the Spider-Society afterwards
When he arrives at the Society he quickly gets overstimulated and has a panic attack and lashes out in a desperate attempt at escaping his electric cage - also seeing the face of the scientist who tortured him for months everywhere certainly didn't help
Gwen then uses a high-frequency device made to combat symbiotes to force him to revert back to his human form
She immediately recognises him as a young version of -138 Hobie
Her and Peter both panic cause 1. They realise they basically beat up a kid and locked him up. 2. That kid has a symbiote! 3. That kid is a younger version of another spider-person they both know (and who they both know has a very long and strained history with symbiotes!)
Miguel gets involved and a discussion begins about whether they should try and seperate Hobie (Sage) and his symbiote
- The other spiders mean well by this but Sage and K.A.T both panic at the thought of being separated - at this point they really view the other as their only friend as it's been them against the world ever since they fused
Sage, still panicking, tries to protest but they won't listen as they view him as a kid who doesn't know what's best for him
Sage is taken to the room with all the villains while they discuss what to do with him
Here Margo sees Sage and K.A.T comforting each other, K.A.T manifesting physically in Sage's lap, being hugged tightly by Sage as he promises it he'll never let anyone separate them
Seeing this, Margo takes pity on them and 'accidentally' sends them home before the other spiders get a chance to try and remove K.A.T from Sage.
Relationships with other spider-people
Some time later Sage has an encounter with Hobie who found out about the whole mess - despite Miguel ordering Gwen and Peter not to tell him
While Hobie isn't exactly a fan of symbiotes he first and foremost sees Sage as a traumatised homeless kid in need of safety and stability
Hobie offers Sage to stay at his boat whenever he wants (as long as he promises not to eat anyone while he's there), he also gives him one of his bootleg watches so he can come and go as he pleases (and explains that he can also use it to get home to his own dimension if he's ever unwillingly sent to another dimension again)
Sage declines at first but over time he slowly opens up to Hobie and begins to trust him
(He also secretly looks up to Hobie once he trusts him, cause who doesn't? He's an older version of himself who's got a place to call his home, one that he opens up to strangers in need such as himself, he uses his powers for good and not just to survive. He's not afraid to be who he is and draw attention to himself - something Sage has been too afraid to do ever since his time at Oscorp. He's got friends and people he trusts. - all things that Sage wants too but doesn't believe he'll ever have) Also he'll never admit that he looks up to Hobie but he can tell anyways
Hobie's the one that gives Sage his nickname, it started as SH but over time it turned into Sage instead, though he doen't mind being called Hobie as well, it's just easier to go by Sage when both he and Hobie are present.
He still doesn't trust people, especially not the Spider-Society after their first meeting, which made it very awkward when Gwen showed up to visit Hobie while Sage was there - luckily Hobie managed to interfere before they beat each other up too much...
(He trusts Margo a bit as well since she 'saved' him from the Spider-Society - also it's nice to be around someone who doesn't smell like food since she's an avatar and not made of flesh and blood)
He currently lives at Hobie's boat, switching between it and his own dimension as he pleases
Hobie did his best to hide it but he was rather freaked out by K.A.T's presence in the beginning, he did his best to supress it cause he genuinely wants to help Sage
Hobie mentors him in how to use his Spider Powers and tries to give him a moral compass to at least prevent him from eating civilians when he gets too hungry - He usually targets cops or people working for Oscorp but the hungrier he gets the less picky he is
Another reason Hobie took him in is because he knows ostracising someone won't make them a better person and while Hobie doesn't believe in deciding what's best for others he still knows life will be a bit easier for Sage if he doesn't just kill whoever he wants whenever he wants - impulse control is important when you have a cannibalistic symbiote in your body.
- Hobie still dislikes symbiotes but he respects Sage's choice to keep his and does his best to help him control some of the more violent urges that come with a symbiote.
Hobie introduces Sage to his punk ideologies and slowly introduces him to the punk community
Hobie also introduces him to some of his friends but it's a slow process due to Sage having a hard time trusting people - especially spider-people after his Spider-Society encounter
Some of the spider-people also have a hard time opening up to him because of his symbiote
But Hobie's good at making a safe space for Sage to feel like he can slowly start to open up to others
For the first time in years Sage feels like he has someone (besides K.A.T) he can trust and over time he starts to view Hobie as his older brother
And that's that folks! (at least for now)
To the one person who actually bothered to read all of this - know that I'm infinitely grateful that you took your time to read about my boy <3
- I initially tried to keep this short but I gave up cause Sage has been living rent free in my head for weeks and it feels so nice to finally flesh him out and write about him!
You know I couldn't resist making my first oc angsty - but at least he ends up doing better than where he started.
Hopefully you guys like him too! If you have any questions please let me know, I could talk about him forever <3
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The Arrangement (3) - Inconvenience
Chapter summary: It is poetic irony that sharing a prison cell with Astarion is what eventually gets the two of you attempting to have a much needed conversation...
Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav
Warnings: 18+. Poison sucking. Blood. Angst.
Word count: 3.5k
Previous chapter . Series Masterlist . Ao3
"You're bleeding."
"I know."
"It's distracting."
"Then look away."
He scoffed. "I can smell it."
It really wasn't a desirable occurrence to end up in one of Baldur's Gate's prisons. The last time you had the displeasure of descending into one was to liberate Gortash's victims from the Iron Throne Prison.
You had rarely been on the side that needed rescuing.
But fate worked in strange ways and had you thrown into a cold and rusty cell, trying to figure out how you ended up in this situation to begin with.
The torches scattered along the pillars of stone outside the cell provided little to no sufficient light, and it only added to the looming sense of dread.
Ripping a scrap of cloth from your clothing, you wrapped it firmly around the bleeding slash across your wrist.
Astarion sat across from you, eyeing your every move with a faint smile on his lips.
"You could have just run away, you know," you began, bringing your knees up to your chin with a sigh. "You are immune to Sleep spells."
He scoffed again with an eye-roll. "Please. I allowed myself to get caught. Gods know you could use the help."
The throb in your head intensified and you winced as discomfort tore through your body, as his words hit you.
"What help? We're both trapped inside," you ground out in annoyance.
He lifted a finger. "That, my dear, is merely an inconvenience. I am quite sure I'd be able to lockpick our way out of this."
The damp-scented mattress underneath you squeaked as you leaned against the ragged wall. "Using what? Your fangs?"
Astarion clicked his tongue. "Creative, but no. I just need to find anything to help me get through that lock." He rose to his feet and moved to inspect the sturdy door with attentive eyes.
As promising as it sounded, you knew deep down that it wouldn't be an easy feat. The guards had stripped both of you down to only your shirts and trousers, and removed anything deemed too creative.
Besides, this whole ordeal had to be a misunderstanding of sorts. It would be wise to, at least, get some enlightenment.
"Maybe we should just wait for Wyll."
He turned to you, a touch of disbelief crossing his face. "His guards put us here, in case you need a reminder."
"We did nothing wrong," you said, clutching on to reason. "We are not criminals. It's all a misunderstanding, I'm sure."
Whether it was a case of you trying to believe your own words, or because there was truth to them, remained to be seen.
As a sorcerer, it would be rather easy to blast through the cell door and be done with it, but you would only entertain that option as a last resort.
"Well, I suppose it could be worse," he said in resignation, curious fingers still prodding the lock. "At least, they didn't shove us in a cell with windows."
The lack of any opening to the outside had made it hard for you to keep track of time, but given the silence and snores from the inhabitants in the adjacent cells, you reckoned the sun had yet to rise.
Astarion would be safe from its scorching rays, for the time being.
You felt something trickling down your wrist, and upon closer inspection, you realised the cloth around it was soaked with your blood.
Odd.
Astarion was still very much entertained with the hinges and structure of the cell door to take notice of your finding.
You quickly brought another rag torn from your cloak and wrapped even tighter over the existing one, applying as much pressure as you could withstand through the pain.
Very odd.
He was now squatting down, taking a closer look at the lock, fingers tugging and rattling the device.
A true rogue at heart.
"Or, I could be sharing this cell with someone far less entertaining – like Gale," he continued. "I'd just beg the guards for a stake to rid myself of my misery."
He finished off with a dramatic laugh, but you found yourself scowling deeply.
"Can you give Gale some credit where it's due? He's helping you out."
His narrowed crimson eyes met yours. "By 'helping' you mean what, exactly? Cooking abhorrent meals and reading books that would put a screeching babe to sleep? Hardly helpful, darling."
You decided to fully ignore his taunt as patience slipped from your tired mind.
"He's going to Waterdeep in a fortnight to speak with someone willing to help out with the Wish spell," you informed as calmly as possible. "I was on my way to tell you that a couple of hours ago before… well, this happened."
His features eased and he rose to his full height, his undivided attention on you.
"Truly? That sounds promising, I suppose," he said, folding his arms. "And here I thought you were simply longing for my company. My apologies, darling."
He wasn't entirely wrong, but you would never let him know.
Suddenly, the sound of metal shrieking echoed throughout the room, and a jab of pain drummed steadily in your head.
"Wake up, you loiter-sacks!" One of the guards yelled.
Pandemonium ensued.
A wave of groggy protests were heard all around. The insults and taunts came immediately after, and your eyes widened at the vulgarity of all of it, while Astarion held the most amused smile you had ever seen on him in a long while.
He truly thrived in all things chaotic.
Another voice was heard. "Shut it, will ya?! Or no food!"
It effectively subsided most of the protests, though an occasional whispered 'fucker!' slipped through the mouths of some prisoners.
Squeaking wheels of a cart came to a halt just outside your cell, and you bolted out of the mattresses, gripping the vertical metal bars.
"Can you please call for Wyll. We need to talk to him."
The grumpy man frowned. "Am just delivering food, sweetheart. Now, have yours and get back."
He shoved a bowl of what looked like powdered wood shavings. The smell was positively nauseating , and your stomach twist and turn in revulsion.
You placed your meal on the floor, not daring to take a single bite.
A laugh burst from him before he attempted doing the same to Astarion, who visibly shuddered as he dodged the man's hand.
"Ugh. I'll pass."
He snorted, grinning maliciously. "Food strikes ain't going to get you out o' here, pretty boy."
Astarion's face twisted into an outraged look, but before he could voice out a snarky remark, the same man as before was heard.
"That one's the vampire spawn."
The guard came into view, and the atmosphere in the prison cell shifted considerably. Silence took over, only broken by some vague whispers.
"Give him pig's blood."
A few gasps erupted.
"I prefer fresh blood, thank you very much," Astarion scoffed, visibly offended. "I am not feeding on scraps."
"Astarion…" you warned him lowly, not wanting things to spiral out of control.
The delivery man shrugged to the guard and pushed the food cart out of the way so he could attend to the other prisoners.
Another guard joined in, removing his helmet to take a closer look.
"Then you'll have nothing. You are in no position to make demands, spawn."
Astarion tensed by your side but merely pressed his lips as a reply.
"Thought so," the guard chuckled.
You gripped the bars tighter, earning their attention. "Tell us what we are charged with, then."
They both exchanged looks and the first one bared his teeth. "Playing dumb, are we?"
"We didn't do anything that would warrant an arrest!" You nearly yelled in frustration. "Call for Wyll, please!"
The older man leaned in with a snarl. "The Grand Duke is absent. He might return later today."
Your heart dropped.
"Might?"
He nodded in indifference. "His duties don't bend to the will of his friends."
"We didn't do anything wrong," you said in a shaky retort, pressing your forehead against the bars. "We didn't…"
"Look, not to sound ungrateful given our luxurious abode," Astarion interjected light-heartedly, gripping your shoulders to have you take a few steps away from them. "But you do know who we are, don't you?"
"We do, and you are not above the law."
"And which law did we break, if you don't mind clarifying, of course."
The older guard was clearly running out of patience. "Killing a civilian."
Your eyes shot up immediately, and your mouth dropped in shock.
Astarion spoke before you could, his voice bearing confusion. "What? We didn't kill anyone."
"We found the body in the alleyway."
You gripped the bars again. "No! I used a Sleep spell – and he wasn't a civilian! He attacked me!"
He was now dangerously close to your face. "Listen here, princess. You are both in a sticky situation, and I advise you to watch your words."
Astarion pushed you back with his arm once again. "Lay a finger on her, and you might just turn into a vampire meal."
Tension increased tenfold all of a sudden, and you could only glare at Astarion who remained unmoved and determined to hold his menacing gaze.
"Maybe you'd prefer an overground cell, hm?" The guard spat in amusement. "Having the sun to keep you company. I'm certain we'd be sweeping your ashes from the floor before midday."
An intense wave of anger burst through you, and you reached through the bars, nearly gripping one of them. "Fuck you!"
They both laughed hysterically at your failed attempt.
One of them reached for a pouch and threw a vial at you. "A healing potion. Drink it, princess. You're bleeding out."
"Unless you are to be his vampire meal."
The other guard cleared his throat. "Oh, and be on your best behaviour, and don't even think of escaping. This place is riddled with traps."
"And we have our own mages," the other glared at you.
They laughed obnoxiously loud again before turning on their feet and walking out.
You glanced at the vial in your hand, its crimson content undulating faintly.
Blood kept on seeping through the makeshift bandages around your wrist. The blood flow hadn't decreased, and a couple of droplets were dripping on the floor.
"Drink it," Astarion urged you, pulling his eyes away from the sanguine mess.
You could tell he was extremely tense all of a sudden, slowly pacing away from where you stood.
The compulsion to drink blood could be blinding at times, and you couldn't blame him for wanting to keep a distance given the current circumstances.
You quickly popped the lid off the container and downed the sweetened liquid, immediately feeling a rush of warmth coursing through your body with each pump of your heart.
Unwrapping the soaked pieces of cloth, you noticed the slash had barely healed at all, and that the blood kept pouring out.
Astarion had definitely noticed your confusion, gripping your forearm.
"Poison," he finally said upon inspecting the wound.
You stared at him wide-eyed, as the realisation hit you hard.
They had poisoned you?
"No wonder the flow didn't decrease with the potion."
Panic spread quickly. "Why would they poison me?"
"It was most likely unintentional," he concluded, smearing his thumb across the layer of blood near your wound. "They must have coated their weapons with it and slashed you by mistake."
"We need to call them for an antidote."
He shook his head. "I doubt they have one at hand – one that actually works. These idiots aren't well-versed in poisons to begin with."
Unlike him.
"What now?"
His eyes met yours. "Do you trust me?"
You stiffened, alarm bells going off in your head. He would never ask this unless… "You're about to do something questionable, aren't you?"
"Questionable, but potentially life-saving. How do you fancy your odds?"
You swallowed the lump in your throat. "What do you have in mind?"
"I will suck the poison out."
Instinctively, you tried to yank your arm from his grip. "No."
He simply glared at you. "This is your best option, darling."
You eased slightly, knowing fully well he was far more experienced in poisons than you were, and between 'bleeding out to death' and 'trusting your vampire friend who also happens to know a lot about this subject', you were far more inclined to pick the latter.
But then…
"What about you? It can be dangerous."
He chuckled in amusement. "I'm undead. Besides, I won't swallow this blood. I am vehemently against wasting yours, but exceptions must be made."
"Just… be careful."
He nodded, and you watched in awe as he brought your wrist to his lips, enclosing them around the wound. As he started off with gentle suckles, you saw the first droplets of blood dribble down from the corner of his mouth.
His touch was cold as ice, and you felt his fangs lightly press against your skin, but not hard enough to break the barrier. After all, your open wound – even if not that deep or wide – was enough to draw blood.
Somewhere along the line, his eyes fluttered shut as he held you in place, and your heart skipped a few beats.
Oddly intimate.
He parted from you not long after, all bloodied, and spitting the remainder of the warm liquid on the floor.
"What a terrible way to taint your blood," he said with a wince. "It tasted… rotten."
He then grabbed a hold of your cloak – or what was left of it – and wiped his lips and chin clean.
"Just horrid."
Under different circumstances, you would have reprimanded him for it, but it was a fair exchange.
The flow of blood had already begun to waver, and you heaved a sigh of relief.
"Are you well?"
He nodded dismissively with a shudder. "The things I do for you, honestly."
Surprisingly, that did bring a faint smile to your lips.
Even if only for a fleeting moment, you were reminded of the many perils you had faced alongside each other.
He had your back, and you had his.
No matter what.
However, It still felt grim that it took an erroneous arrest and being shoved into a prison cell to catch a glimpse of the trusting bond you once shared.
One that wasn't built on a mere transaction.
He silently eyed you for a moment, with an expression that was hard to decipher.
Then, he cleared his throat and walked over to his own mattress, placing his cloak along the length of it as a way to keep the damp at bay, before taking a seat.
Classic Astarion.
"Do you reckon I can now blame Gale for us ending up in this situation?"
You arched an eyebrow, wrapping yet another piece of cloth over your closing wound. "If anything, I should be blaming you, no? We're all doing this for you."
He shrugged with a side-smile. "Fair enough."
"I didn't kill that man… I don't get it…"
"I know you didn't, but it's not me you need to convince."
You sat down in defeat, rubbing your temple. "None of this makes sense…"
"No point in dwelling on it now," he said with a click of his tongue, inspecting his nails. "Get some rest."
You blinked. "I cannot rest in a place like this."
His eyes lifted briefly. "Darling, we've had worse."
"... and better." You mumbled.
"I'll give you the 'better' once we get out of here, then. Happy now?"
You winced at his words.
"Why do you do this?" You asked, unable to contain yourself.
He dropped his hand to the side, brows furrowed. "Do what?"
"This! This constant push and pull," you said, feeling the impulsiveness take control. "I try to have a proper conversation with you, and you just… push me away."
Astarion scoffed dramatically. "This is hardly the time or the place to be having this conversation."
"I tried to have you come stay with us… even when you're feeling more… vulnerable… you never let me in," you said in exasperation, words stinging in your throat. "You just…"
The words died in your mouth at the look he gave you.
It wasn't a look of anger or annoyance or outrage.
Just… nothing.
Like he wasn't even listening to you.
"Astarion?"
As if you had just snapped him out of his thoughts, he shook his head briefly, but didn't look in your direction.
"Go get some rest."
Had you pushed too far? He didn't sound upset, but then again, he was a master in deception whenever the situation called for it.
"Astarion…"
He was gazing out of the cell door, as if something far more interesting was worthy of his attention.
"I wasn't the one who pushed you away."
You sat up straighter, heart hammering fast against your ribcag. "Then who?"
"You did."
"What?"
He turned his head to you this time. "Don't pin this on me. You had all of me, and you chose to walk away."
A growing feeling of discomfort began to rise within you, competing with the confusion that had taken root.
And then…
Moonrise Towers.
That night.
"You didn't need a lover."
He sneered. "What about what I wanted?"
"Astarion, you–"
He immediately cut you off. "Don't. I wanted to be with you. I yearned for you like I never did for anyone else, and you chose the easy way out."
You were at a loss for words.
The conversation with Gale the day before immediately came to mind.
"Easy way out? You actually think I didn't have feelings for you back then?"
"Gods, then you should have fought for me – with me!"
He was being unreasonable. The pain of rejection had certainly seeped deeply into him, and it was now resurfacing brutally.
"And I did that! By giving you time and space. Besides, we had more pressing matters back then that required our undivided attention."
He looked back at you coolly. "How many nights did we spend thinking it would be our last?"
That caught you off guard.
"How many nights did you cry yourself to sleep, not knowing if we'd live to see another day?"
You fell silent, unsure of what to say.
"Yet you preferred having that emptiness and despair for company instead of being with me," he went on, his words were as knives that cut through you ruthlessly. "So do not lecture me about pushing others away, when you so clearly excel at that."
It took you a moment to find your voice again amidst the concoction of emotions that swirled in your head.
His accusations were unfounded. You knew this. But realising that that was how he really felt about the entire situation made you feel sadness beyond comparison.
That he mistook your altruism for selfishness.
"I did what was best for you… and for us."
You wouldn't cry.
You couldn't cry.
"And was that what you wanted?"
"What you needed mattered more than what I wanted. That's how much I cared for you," you said, voice wavering. "And I still do. Even through all your deception and lies and manipulation… you still came first."
That seemed to have taken him by surprise, and his face softened.
"You constantly mistake what you want with what you need, not even caring about the possible consequences," you went on with newfound vigour.
He scowled yet again. "I constantly cast aside what I want in favour of others."
You scoffed in disbelief. "You're not the epitome of selflessness you think you are, Astarion."
"What I want still matters!"
"If you'd done what you wanted, you would have sacrificed the souls of seven thousand spawn!" You exploded in a fit of rage.
You were met with silence.
Deafening silence.
"You would have become the Vampire Ascendant and lost yourself in the process."
After glaring at you for a while, he then had the nerve to laugh. "Maybe that would have been the better option."
A sudden wave of nausea settled in the pit of your stomach. "You don't mean that."
"Stop speaking for me," he said through gritted teeth, words dripping with poison. "I had enough of it for two hundred years under his command – stop it!"
Your mouth had dropped open, and you were left speechless.
"Oi! Lovebirds, quit the chit-chat." One of the nearby guards rattled on the metal bars with a mace. "I'm afraid marriage counselling is postponed until further notice."
The other prisoners laughed and whistled teasingly as he walked away.
Decided you were done with this conversation, you leaned back and rolled down to your side, facing the wall and fighting back the tears that had begun to roll down your cheeks.
You just couldn't stand looking at him.
Or even being near him.
You could only hope that Wyll would come back sooner rather than later, so you could finally get away from Astarion.
For good.
Disclaimer: sucking the poison from one's wound (in case of a snake bite, for example) has been discredited many decades ago. It's not really effective, and can do more harm than good, especially to the person doing the sucking. But for the purposes of this story, it works because fiction and magic and all that! Let's suspend our disbelief for a moment 😌
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