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#I’m aware Artemis didn’t know about rob in this ep
deadsetobsessions · 2 months
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Of all the places he could have been summoned to, Danny Phantom had never considered a private school’s bathroom to be one of them.
With glowing green skin, a shock of flickering flames for hair, and a suit made out of the spaces between collapsing stars, Danny stared down at the stupefied faces of Gotham Academy’s finest students. One of them had their face in their hands, having caught sight of him and undergoing all the stages of grief in but a moment.
They sat around a circle that he was appropriately impressed with considering the limited space they had to work with. Danny could see the empty stalls, some of which were adorned with drawings and writings that were left by the, no-doubt, extremely busy caretaker.
“Seriously, a bathroom?” Danny wrinkled his nose.
“Holy shit, that actually worked?” One of the kids blurted out, then slammed their hands on top of their mouth.
“Did you expect it not to?” Danny squinted at them, frowning. It’s Friday, so it’s not like he had much to do, but Danny would prefer it if his time wasn’t wasted.
“No- no, your… uh, highness?”
“All of that schooling and you’re still uneducated,” one of the other ones hissed at the red headed kid who spoke. It’s “Your Majesty.” He’s a king, idiot!”
That was a pretty solid burn but, “It’s actually just Phantom. Did you guys want something? I’m busy.”
He’s not busy, but who cares?
“Uh…” the kids exchanged glances. The one in the back sighed and spoke up. He adjusted his glasses.
“We’re sorry for bothering you, Phantom. You wouldn’t happen to have a solution for dimensional separation, would you?”
“Huh.” Danny tilted his head, face souring. “I hate dimensional issues. They’re the worst. Who’s causing them?”
“His name’s Klarion!” The one who slapped a hand across his mouth earlier piped up.
“Oh! The lords of chaos or whatever. Yeah, I can help, for a price.”
Danny is against unpaid labor. Extremely against it, considering his side gig is being a half-dead vigilante. Then again, are you really a vigilante if you’re not half dead on a regular basis?
“What do you want?” Despite the reluctance from earlier, it’s clear the one with the glasses made the big decisions in this weird friend group.
“… A hundred dollars.”
“That’s it? No stipulations?” When Danny nodded, the kid had a calculating expression. “Deal.” The teen said immediately. He pulled out cash and wow, Danny’s definitely in a place with a different tax bracket.
He snatched it. Nasty burger money!
“Deal’s a deal. Also, don’t ever summon me again, but if you do, don’t ever do it in a bathroom again. You kids are so weird.” Danny floated out of the circle, grinning sharply. He formed a small bird- he doesn’t know why, but it felt right- of ice and handed it to the kid with glasses. “There. Proof of the deal.”
With that, Danny disappeared. Private school kids were so fucking weird, but… Dash and his goons were probably worse. What’s a little ritualistic summoning in the face of teenagers?
——
“I leave you guys alone for ten minutes and you summon the king of the dead?” Robin narrowed his eyes at his teammates, traitors who had the good graces to look sheepish. “How could you?! I wanted to try, too!”
Kid Flash patted him on the shoulder, a granola bar appearing in his mouth now that the possible world ending terror disappeared. “Sorry, Rob. Maybe next time! Magic still isn’t real though.”
“I’m not doing this shit in a bathroom again,” Artemis rolled back to her feet. “He sounded like he was going to rip our bones out if we ever summoned him in a bathroom again.”
“Ugh…”
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