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eldritch-elrics · 3 years

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svsss: binghe callout party + the system’s punishment

so much happened in these chapters oh my god. i can’t believe i’m on chap 74 of 81

tldr: sqq needs to stop procrastinating on his sexuality crisis, also yay for cqms protecting its own but oh no for binghe discovering the truth about his parents, also COOL system penalty. oh and fake internet drama my beloved

zzl my poor, poor boy. i hate that he killed gongyi xiao but :((( he’s trying so hard to be nice to sqq!!! sqq’s making it so hard for him!

it’s also really interesting how fixated on repaying debts/revenges he is. i know it’s demon culture being different from human culture but i am going hmm… neurodivergence momence….

tlj, completely unprompted, once again: huh, so sqq likes threesomes does he? very interesting…

sqq saying he trusts binghe <3

seems like sqq believes binghe will change. i also believe in him! though seeing what lbh’s been like, we’ll see how fast that change happens lol.

sqq also says later that most of the tension between him and lbh has been a misunderstanding, which… yeah that’s fair enough. but sqq is very much at fault for a lot of that misunderstanding! because he is (or used to be, at least) shit at communication! at least he’s been taking responsibility

always astounded by how much effort liu qingge goes through to rescue sqq, whether that’s just his body or his actual person. sqq is really just drowning in men who want to do things for him

sqh confessing everything and babbling at lqg <3 and oh my god he fought mobei-jun?

binghe: only two rooms thanks :3 i don’t have money for more :3

liu qingge: i’ll fucking kill you

i really do want to see the scene of lbh and lqg trying to share a room. i was hoping maybe they would do some enemies-to-friends bro bonding but it seems like it’s too early for that… grudges like that can’t be fixed in one night...

we’re almost at chapter 70 and sqq still thinks he’s straight.

funny that the system says it needs to save resources? that feels like a bad excuse. there’s never been a problem like that before… and doesn’t it make sense for the system to just have infinite resources? i’m very interested in this statement. maybe it’s just bluffing to make itself seem less powerful than it is / delay sqq’s gratification

the fact that it’s not giving him any new coolness points is probably a good thing, since he spends all of them a couple chapters later. maybe sqq will gain back all those he lost in a rush at the end of the month

SQQ IS SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT GETTING HIS FAN BACK I LOVE HIM

binghe serving him breakfast waaaa

as far as i recall, binghe’s the only one who’s been able to make the system give sqq prompts with multiple-choice answers. protagonist power! one more piece of evidence for the idea that lbh’s subconscious is what influences the system most

lqg kicking doors down is so normal that sqq doesn’t react

poor zzl for the dozenth time: gets used as a seat cushion :(

this entire next part is just Hurting Binghe Hours

this scene felt super mdzs. it’s like… stirring up a giant crowd against someone, with the intention of ruining their reputation? reminiscent of jinlan city too of course but that theme of reputation is so central to mdzs that it made me think. also the whole thing about lbh being a bastard/otherwise outside the cultivation world norm... hmm.....

“tianlang-jun is not my father. i don’t need a father.”

fucks me up…

lqg and yqy: *knocks ten angry cultivators away from sqq* oops my hand slipped

lbh ran away… bingqiu separated once more :(

ohhhhh my god the system penalty. i had totally forgot about the whole “sending him back to his original world” thing but i’m so glad it got brought up again. all the peak lords must be worried sick haha... hopefully he’ll wake up in his bed in qing jing peak or something later and it’ll all be ok

meeting og!lbh… god i got chills. that part was so good

i can’t help but notice he lost his right arm and left leg….. just like edward elric……

that’s such a good system punishment tbh like.. it’s not sending him back to HIS original world, but it’s sort of like sending him to sqq’s original world, for just a few minutes…

yay meng mo saved him!

not surprised at how bad shen jiu’s situation was. i will have to read more about it later!!

i’m so close to the end holy shit. i expect we’ll get some more bingqiu development soon but it’s so funny that sqq hasn’t even realized he’s not straight, let alone that he likes lbh! i guess this novel is really their getting-together story more than anything (we’ve got the extras for established relationship stuff) but i feel like there’s still so much left to resolve!

speaking of extras… there’s an extra chapter plopped right in the middle here? thanks mxtx lol

ok my take is: reading fake internet drama is so FUCKING funny

i do not know anything about chinese webnovel internet culture but this scene still rings so true to me… people on web forums just be like that huh

airplane is so excited about all the arguing sjkdhsjd

the fact that peerless cucumber is labeled an expert.

peerless cucumber up in here with his fantastic takes like “the monsters are so much more interesting than the endless wives” and “the only good bit is binghe’s arc”

the person who comments “cucumber bro wrote so many words just to hate on it, must be true love”

the person who comments “hey guys wanna read my bingqiu slash”

the handful of comments that are like “the romance between binghe and the women is terrible but the relationships he has with the male characters are emotional and moving” just go to solidify my “airplane is gay and knows jack shit about women” theory

again, araki jojo vibes

what a way to die, airplane

and he was thinking of sqq too! just like sqq was thinking about him when he died :) it’s fate!

#svsss #svsss spoilers #finn reads scum villain #my post

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pluckyredhead · 5 years

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Daredevil 101: The King of Hell’s Kitchen

And we’re back! Last time, Matt beat the crap out of Fisk, unmasked in Josie’s, and declared himself the new Kingpin. We pick up a year later, with Ben explaining to an unseen companion at a diner just what’s been going on for the past twelve months. This is gonna be a long one, guys, sorry. (Bendis/Maleev, DD v2 #56-60.)

[Content Warning: There is a passing reference to Squirrel Hill, as in the Pittsburgh neighborhood - no connection to the recent tragedy there, as this comic is about 15 years old. I just didn’t want anyone blindsided.]

Basically, despite Matt unmasking in front of a room full of criminals, everyone is too terrified of him to actually admit that they saw his face, which means that he’s been able to keep up the double life game, even though fewer people than ever believe he’s not Daredevil anymore. This is all stuff Ben has gathered through hearsay, since Matt told him to stay away for his own protection and they haven’t spoken directly since before Josie’s.

Matt even had time to grow a horrible goatee!

It’s SO BAD, MATTHEW, WHY.

He also won his lawsuit against that one tabloid, meaning that currently, in the eyes of the court, Matt Murdock is not Daredevil. He donated the enormous amount of money he won to neighborhood charities. Please note this line: “See, Matt’s new girlfriend, Milla Donovan, actually works at the Hell’s Kitchen housing commission.” Just hold onto that for a minute.

Matt’s so popular, in fact, he’s approached to run for mayor!

“I am dizzy from you.” Wow, Franklin. WOW.

Not everyone is happy with Matt’s recent choices, though, as evidenced by an intervention from some of the local superheroes:

Do you think Luke got all the way to that fourth panel before realizing he was the only one here without an alliterative name and felt suddenly self-conscious? Do you think he had a split second of “Should I try to go by Carl Cage just for right now? Could I pull it off?”

Anyway one of the things I really love about Maleev’s art is the specificity of his...well, either photo referencing or just drawing from life. I could take you to the exact spot they’re standing in Bryant Park. (It’s a logical meeting place for this group, too, since it’s centrally located and walking distance from - but not inside - Hell’s Kitchen.)

Anyway, the others are pissed because Matt saying “Get out of Hell’s Kitchen!” to criminals just...made them do crime above 59th Street and below 34th, which was a pretty foregone conclusion. Matt’s unsympathetic:

Who wants to tell Matt that Hell’s Kitchen, Harlem, and the Village are all in Manhattan and his little plan here doesn’t make sense? Like, Matt and Luke covering neighborhoods while the other three, who can travel further and faster, cover the city as a whole, does make sense, but also “go do crime over there” doesn’t stop crime. As Peter points out, while wearing a very strange facial expression.

But Matt ignores the warnings, and ignores the growing tension in Hell’s Kitchen, and then, just a few days before Ben’s telling this story, he and Milla are attacked by like a hundred Yakuza assassins. He sends Milla running for safety...and hasn’t been seen since. And that’s all Ben knows.

And that’s when we see who he’s been talking to:

I want to clarify that Ben’s explanation of the past year of events has taken two full issues. That’s like five bucks worth of comics that is Ben mansplaining Milla’s own recent history to her, including explaining to her what her job is. They should have killed 616 Ben instead, Jesus.

Also, Milla and Matt are married! Hey, how about that?! She goes on to explain to a stunned Ben (who, I guess, didn’t ask her any questions before he started talking for two entire months holy shit Ben what is wrong with you) that they got married about four months ago, and we later learn that Milla’s the one who proposed. So she proposed to a man she’d known for eight months, who is...sort of a crime boss? An anti-crime boss? Anyway, keep that in your pocket for a bit.

(I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about these two issues. Anyone who wants to hear me rant about decompression, the ask box is open.)

Uh, Milla, that’s not a compliment. You want Matt to be in love with you as a human being, not the abstract concept of you as a conglomeration of eight million people and island real estate.

Anyway, Matt told Milla that if anything went wrong, she should contact Ben. She and Ben are both baffled by this, so Ben goes to see the actual person most likely to know where Matt is:

Take the money and just make shit up, Fogy! Anyway my poor beautiful tired boy has no idea where Matt is, and is also rather wounded that Matt had a contingency plan in place for Milla but a) not for Foggy and b) didn’t tell Foggy about it. Especially since the Yakuza are out in full force and Foggy has been sleeping in his office because he can’t safely leave it.

My heart. Foggy has never really gotten to grieve on page for Karen, given that he was in jail for her funeral, but he knew her as long as Matt did (technically slightly longer) and he loved her too.

Ben tracks Matt to the Night Nurse (who, remember, is not Claire Temple in the comics) and floats a new theory by him:

I’m very sorry Matt but i can’t take you seriously with that facial hair.

Matt stops crying long enough to deny it, but by now Ben knows he’s right:

I’m...pretty sure this is the first time someone has seriously said: “Matt, your behaviors are unhealthy and I’m concerned about your mental health.” And, like, itemized them (including explicitly saying that flaking on Foggy and leaving him in these crisis situations is cruel!). People have said “you’re crazy” or “you’re being a jerk” but it’s always been said in anger. This is uncompromising but compassionate. This is “a terrible thing happened to you and I know that you’re still in pain.” No wonder Matt cries.

And Matt’s not the only one who’s listening:

Wow, Foggy has a good memory. And the face of a man who is contextualizing the past few years of his life and doesn’t like what he sees.

(A+ for the frazzle of of hat hair, Maleev.)

Matt goes to a safehouse. Foggy goes...somewhere undetermined. A spa? Everyone gets naked:

No, seriously, I have no idea why everyone needed to be SO NAKED in this scene (although I’m not complaining). Anyway please enjoy FOGGY’S TATTOO (WHAT???) and also Matt calling him both “Franklin” and “good boy” in a single page.

If you want to, like, read the actual words and pay attention to plot, I GUESS, Matt promises to deal with the Yakuza situation. Foggy’s still not happy:

YES I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD, IT’S IMPORTANT. Text if you can’t embiggen:

Matt: Are you breaking up with me?

Foggy: I don’t think you’ll let me.

Matt: I need you, Foggy. I’ll fix this. I’ll make it right.

Foggy: Yeah, okay. So just do what you have to do.

Matt: I need you to bring me something to wear.

Foggy: Something red?

Matt: It’s red?

Foggy: What?

Matt: I thought it was yellow.

Foggy: ...Are you serious?

Matt: No.

Foggy: That was pretty funny.

IT IS A VERY GOOD AND IMPORTANT EXCHANGE and it is only slightly marred by Milla draped in silent nakedness over Matt the whole time because...of reasons? Ugh.

Matt goes to get backup and finds himself being dragged for like the third time in 24 hours:

Haha! Pregnant women! So hysterical about being lied to by their friends and employers who they are risking their lives for! Hormones, fellas, amirite???! LOL.

(Seriously, fuck this shit.)

Anyway. Main Yakuza Dude Whose Name I Forget is still pretty confident about moving on Hell’s Kitchen now that Matt’s out of the picture:

Oh man, sorry about your life, Main Yakuza Dude!

“Are you guys sure you want me to do this pose? It feels more ‘boy band’ than ‘badass.’“

“Yeah, Luke, definitely!"

“Yeah? I don’t know, I kind of feel like...”

“No, dude, it works, it looks totally cool, I promise!”

They beat up the Yakuza. Meanwhile, Foggy joins Milla at the safehouse:

Why is Milla still in her underwear???????????????? #cancelmen

When Matt returns to the safehouse after defeating the Yakuza, Foggy is gone, and Milla is finally dressed...and very unhappy. She tells him what Foggy told her:

Here are the things that jump out at me about this page:

1. Milla says “this Karen Page person,” which implies that she has rarely or never heard Karen mentioned before. Considering that Matt (and Foggy!) knew Karen for, as Ben pointed out, almost all of his adult life, and that she was intrinsically tied not just to Matt (and Foggy!) but Daredevil and Nelson and Murdock, this is stunning. How do you spend a year with your wife and almost never mention someone you were intimately close to for at least a decade? I know Matt is secretive by nature, but this makes me think that Matt and Milla essentially never had any real or deep communication. Which, honestly, checks out.

2. We don’t see the conversation between Milla and Foggy. Theoretically, he could have said “LOLOLOL MATT NEVER LOVED YOU HE STILL LOVES MY DEAD FRIEND SUCK IT” but that seems...out of character, to say the least. I suspect, given how confused and distressed Milla is, that he said something more like “I think the reason Matt is acting like this is because he is still processing his trauma over the death of someone he loved very much.” Which shouldn’t be a surprise to Milla, considering that one of the very first things Matt told her was “Two women I loved have been murdered.” But apparently this is a great betrayal somehow??? Because:

And this is why I just can’t with Milla. So much of what doesn’t work with her character, like the thin personality and the helplessness and the fact that she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON, is because of sexist writing and drawing, and I’m not laying that at her feet. And I’ll be the first person to declare that Matt Murdock is a shitty boyfriend/partner and has been to literally every single woman he’s dated.

But the compassionate response to “the person I love is having a nervous breakdown because he lost someone he cared about” is not to scream “SHUT UP!!!” and accuse him of lying. I’m not married but I’m preeeeeetty sure the vows don’t include “I swear that I definitely never loved anyone else and if I did, I don’t love them anymore.” Matt broke no promises here (for once!) and, as I’ve said before, Milla went on two highly dangerous dates with Matt Murdock and then he declared himself Kingpin and then she proposed. She had all the evidence she needed that life with Matt is dangerous, bizarre, and full of ethical pitfalls and the ghosts of murdered girlfriends, and as an educated, intelligent adult woman in charge of her own business, she decided to sign up. This one is absolutely not on Matt and it pisses me off that it’s treated like it is.

Anyway. *breathes*

Next up: Black Widow returns!

#daredevil #daredevil 101

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ewelupp-blog · 6 years

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My brother Jeremy always had a fascination for the morbid, and less for the living. He was one of those typical basement nerd types, and would sometimes binge on Reddit stories and Creepy pastas, he loved that shit. Anyway, he was actually my older brother but lacked the motivation to look for actual physical jobs our parents said ‘built character’. He always saw himself as the son they never wanted and had become more and more secluded until finally he practically disappeared into the basement never to be seen again. After a while our parents got fed up with him and asked me if I could take him in. I had two steady jobs and after almost three years paid off most of my debts, so I agreed. He arrived with his assload of computer components and shit, luckily my old roommate had recently left leaving an extra room. Moving all those parts proved to be more annoying than previously assumed and took most of the day to set up.

About a month later he called me into his room, an adventure I had began to dread as it stunk and was cluttered with old clothes and wires. It was also a little game he liked to play with me, he would casually call me in saying things like “come watch this funny video” or “read this article” and half the time it would turn out to be one of his ‘best blood’ or whatever pictures. This time I knew it was a picture of that caliber, his gasp before gave it away immediately. “Get in here, seriously ,” he yelled, “I know you don’t like this stuff but this one is fucking crazy man,” his enthusiasm barely contained. I sighed heavily enough for him to hear from where I was sitting in the living room and made my way over to his door. The smell hit me like a truck, and worse the lights were off so it would have to be a guessing game to get through. I made my way to the computer screen and caught a glance from him, his smile should have made me concerned but he was my brother and I knew he wouldn’t stoop to anything he saw on the net. The picture was of a young woman with her chest almost literally torn open, her face was oddly still and calm, serene, but her breasts were destroyed. He looked to me with excitement, “Well, do you see it yet?” he asked giddily. “See what? I don’t even know what I should be looking for,” I said turning away from the gruesome scene. “The eye man, how did they do that?” he burst out, pointing to the screen. I looked it over once again, not staying too long on her mangled chest, but nothing was wrong with her eye. “Alright, really funny haha,” I said looking away again. His face screwed up in confusion, “The eye man,” he said, his tone taking a turn for the dramatic, “The number? 41?” he said more than asked. I shook my head, “I didn’t see any number, can I go now, is your prank over?” I asked apathetically. “Whatever man,” he mumbled. That was weird, I told myself, ‘what fucking number?’ I shook it off and went to work, ridding myself of the strange distraction.

A couple days later and halfway through my day I received a call from home, it was Jeremy, but he sounded scared. “Hey man, y-you gotta come back, something… something happened,” he fumbled over the words like he hadn’t spoke English for a decade. It wasn’t like him to be scared, I knew him better than anyone else, he never got scared, what the fuck was so bad that it scared him? My boss was understanding when I told him there was a family crisis back home I would have to take care of, and gave me the rest of the day off. “I’ll make it up to you I promise,” I yelled back to him on my way out the door. He just waved me off, “You better,” he joked. The drive home was nerve wracking, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if someone broke in and stole everything. I pulled into the apartments parking lot to be greeted by the landlord, a “nice” overweight woman named Jane. She must have been walking back from another apartment and seen me pull in because she rushed over. I stepped out into a berating like I’d never had before, “What the FUCK is wrong with your brother?” she screamed, “I’ve had five, FIVE noise complaint reports in the last two hours saying they heard sounds like screaming and fighting from your apartment.” The heat was almost visible from her brow, and her greasy blonde hair flopped about with her over-dramatic-movements. “I went up to see what was going on and the door was locked. When I opened it up I found the fucking couch had been flipped up in front of the door.” She shook some more, her rolls jiggling unnaturally. “I’ll fix it, he usually isn’t like this.” I mumbled looking down. “You’re fucking lucky I like you or I would kick your ass out too.” The statement hit me like a brick, my saliva stopping mid swallow. “Oh… okay.” Was all I managed to say. Jane stormed off after a second of silence making her way to another tenant. Slowly, I walked up the door, 577, the number I had grown to know so well, worried and knowing my brother wouldn’t survive long on his own. The door was unlocked, which was an unpleasant surprise, and what’s more, nothing was blocking the door. In fact the living room looked more pristine than ever, clean enough to eat off was the phrase I believe. Jeremy was nowhere in sight, the door to his room, which was usually ajar, was closed fully. I closed the door and called out for him, but got no response. It was then that I got the sense that something was dreadfully wrong here, everything trying too hard to look normal. I knocked on his door, but got no response. “Jeremy, I’m home, what did you need to talk about?” I called out. Still no response, so I twisted the door knob and pushed in. There he lay in his bed, peacefully sleeping, his chest heaving up and down. His eyes twitched back and forth rapidly and his bed sheet barely covering his frail body. I smiled for a second, forgetting the dire situation he put me. “Jeremy!” I called flipping on the lights. He jumped up suddenly with a look of sheer terror on his face. “Jesus Christ man!” he swore, “You startled me.” My frown grew as he wrapped the sheets around himself and shivered, “What’s wrong,” he asked. “What do you mean what’s wrong, you called me. What’s wrong with you. Why did you call?” I asked folding my arms across my chest trying to appear authoritative. He gulped loudly, “Promise not to freak out?” he asked looking ashamed. “No, what happened?” He stood up, reaching for his black gym shorts. “Dude what are you doing?” I questioned, covering my face with my hand. “Just hear me out,” Jeremy pleaded, “This morning I woke up,” he started, pulling his shorts low to show his left thigh, “And I saw this.” His pale thigh was clean as a whistle. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I yelled, “You call me from work and freak out like this over a prank?” “It’s-“ “Save it, Jane wants you out, and if you’re going so am I, but so help me god if you pull another stunt like this I WILL kick you out on your own. “But-“ he started again “Enough with the pranks! Grow up! Your twenty seven man, go get a job, stop being a lazy shit!” I screamed. He pulled up his shorts looking embarrassed, avoiding my gaze. I know he was my big brother, and bigger brothers are supposed to be the more mature ones, but he was just so infuriating sometimes. “And why did you put the couch in front of the door when Jane tried coming in?” I questioned. His face screwed up again, “What? I’ve been in here sleeping since I called you?” It felt like someone slapped me, I could see the look on his face, the genuine confusion. This wasn’t some prank, he meant it. I sat down on the edge of his bed for a second, “But, the noise complaints,” I stammered. “What, I didn’t hear anything,” he sat down next to me. “What the fuck is going on?” My head spun, I knew Jeremy was a terrible liar, no amount of training could ever fix that, he wasn’t lying.

A month later the new apartment was filled with empty boxes, the moving process was easier than unpacking, but it was finally done. Jeremy really shaped up after that day, had even got a job at a warehouse. From behind I heard him make his way to his room, the door closed almost silently like he was ashamed to hide in there anymore. I turned around and yelled out, “Hey why don’t you get out here and watch some TV with me.” “Sure,” I heard from behind me. I stopped suddenly, but shook it off, must have been my imagination. A few beers and bad TV later we both went to bed, we worked similar hours so we would be in the apartment around the same time. The morning came quickly, and the room was spinning a little more than I was ready for. I hit the head and washed up to prepare breakfast for the both of us in hopes I could sober up fully before work. “Hey, breakfast,” I called. No response. I stumbled over to his door and opened it up, “Jeremy get up, work.” The room stank again, this time worse than before. I flipped on the light, that was the first mistake. He lay in his bed with a look of sheer terror scrawled across his face, his chest was torn open, blood splattered everywhere. His hands were curled up at his side like he was clenching his fists, his back arched and his mouth curled into an eternal scream of absolute horror. Bile reached the back of my throat, and I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep myself from throwing up. I turned away, the tears streaming down my face, falling down to his the floor making a small thumping sound.

The police arrived an hour later, took my statement and investigated. They put took me to the station as I was the only suspect. About two hours later a male officer came into the interrogation room and told me I was free to go. “What? W-why?” I asked. He turned and looked at me sternly, “Your alibi checked out,” he said. “What alibi?” He sighed, “You were at work when he died, we have video evidence of you with your boss.” I shook my head, fresh tears rolling down my face, “That’s not possible, I came home and drank with him.” I stated through tears. The officer shrugged, “According to the coroner’s report he had been dead for ten hours, putting you at work when he died.” The new evidence almost made me choke. I finally managed to speak after a moment of silence, “Can I see his body, you know, say my goodbye’s?” He led me to the coroner’s office, the doctor there was understanding. She let me have to room, and I said what I could, not really knowing what to say at all. He looked peaceful, his eyes and mouth had been closed, and the pale white sheet covered the rest of his body, like he was sleeping. Before I left I called in the doctor. “Yes, what is it?” she asked. “He, he complained about something being wrong with his left thigh, I know it’s not linked, but I just wanted to know if you found anything,” I said quietly. “No,” she said lifting up the sheet to show his thigh, “Nothing at all, why?” she asked. I laughed, “Just making sure I said,” finally finding my voice after seeing the number 42 carved into my brothers skin. I didn’t sleep that night, I never slept again.

#storytelling #creepy #scary story #43 #story #short story #numbers can be scary

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itsdisneymydudes · 7 years

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I’m Gonna Wreck It

Another movie I haven’t seen, another live blog! This week I’ll be checking out Wreck-It Ralph. Truth be told, idk why I haven’t seen this before: video game and arcade jokes? What’s not to love omg.

Oh my god, 8-bit Disney Animation logo with complimentary 8-bit music. It’s perfect.

Wait a minute...is Ralph really the bad guy if the bulldozer moved his stump first? I can kinda understand his aggression seeing as they hit first. He’s only responding...with fists...

Fastest way to get exposition is to have John C. Riley narrate over a video game lemme tell ya. And the premise makes a lot of sense. Ralph does his job. It just so happens that that job is to wreck everything. And get thrown off a roof. Into mud. Medal-less.

Lol @the-kid-who-says-“This animation is so real.” I see you, Disney. I see you.

Whoa. Just whoa. The arcade time lapse is so full of old video game references, there is no way you could catch them all in one viewing. Damn, Disney really went all out with the royalties for this movie. Pac-man, Asteroids, Frogger, TMNT, this is beautiful.

And we’re still less than 3 minutes into this movie. Oh, this is gonna be good.

Aw, Ralph wants to love his job but hates it at the same time. Is this gonna be a mid-life crisis told through video games? Please say yes.

Lolololol this is like a modern version of Toy Story. All the video games come to life once the people leave. Oh and Street Fighter II? That could not have been easy to get in this movie (and they only use it for a quick joke about grabbing a drink after work, too. Now that’s dedication to making your world believable).

I’m loving this translation of choppy 8-bit video game motions into a 3D animated world. It’s a subtle touch, but one that makes everything more realistic imo.

Also, loving the meta-humor where Ralph literally wrecks everything he touches. Even the bushes fall over after he brushes them.

Aw, Ralph’s true motivations are coming through... :(

Lol a Bad-Anon meeting? Idk what’s better: the fact that it’s a play on Alcohol Anonymous or the fact that they used Anon from Internet slang.

Nope, I change my mind. The best part about this is how many video game baddies they have here. Bowser, Kano, Dr. Robotnik, Blinky the Ghost, I just can’t believe it.

Aw, the bad guys are really trying to explain to Ralph why being bad isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s nice.

Oh my god, Kano just ripped Zombie’s heart out. That’s hilarious. Fatality (except Zombie is already dead...).

Lol. Thanks, Satan.

I like how everyone freaks out when Ralph says he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Society has rules, and if Ralph is trying to break them in the slightest (”go Turbo”), then everyone loses their minds. Even for bad guys, you still gotta follow the rules.

Whoa. Blinky is right. Don’t try and change who you are to be better, accept who you are to be a better you. Damn, deep stuff.

AHHH THE BAD-ANON MEETING WAS IN BLINKY’S RESPAWN BOX FOR PAC-MAN. THAT’S ABSOLUTE GOLD.

Oh my god Game Central Station is magnificent. The gates are outlet faces, and there are so many video game characters there. This is amazing.

Lol “All aboard the Soul Train, outlet 12.” Nice throwback.

Oooo a “random security check” always pulling aside Ralph. Not-so-subtle discrimination allegory. I like it. Also, Lara Croft name-dropping is always a good touch.

Sonic is in this movie too??? Marvelous. Simply marvelous.

Holy crap, Q*bert is homeless because their game got unplugged??? Snake too??? Oh my god that’s right in the feels. Aw and Ralph gives them his cherry. That’s so sweet. Gah this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a movie.

Lolololol is that supposed to be Skrillex?

Ralph and Felix’s conversation is so awkward. That makes me sad :(

Ah, Ralph is already breaking stuff. Ah and Felix’s respawn animation. Too cute.

Two things: 1) why are the apartment people so effing rude. Were they raised in a bar? Jfc. 2) I’m loving how anti-social Ralph is. Yea, you tell em buddy. Stick it to the man.

As sad as Ralph wrecking the cake is, you gotta appreciate the pixelated cake-splatter everywhere.

Oh my gosh how did I not see this before?! Tapper is an old video game too! Golly gee, references are everywhere!!!

Super mushrooms and Metal Gear exclamation points in the lost-and-found! Brilliant!

Oh, I get it. Hero’s Duty is supposed to be a cross between Halo and Call of Duty. Modern games are in this movie too. Smashing.

Is that Jane Lynch???? Oh heck yes!

“First Person Shooter coming through.” Niceeeeeeee.

This dubstep-space-robot-bug-thingy-shooter sequence is FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY NUTS WHY CAN’T ALL DISNEY MOVIES BE LIKE THIS.

Even in this chaotic shooting game, “formation” and social constructs are paramount. Damn, society. You scary.

Ralph and the “old video games” calling out the “new video games” for being scary. Got em.

Ha. A giant blue beam to zap all the bugs with. Cute.

Subway product placement? Huh. Interesting.

Also, the jerk guys who are clearly way older than the marketed arcade demographic are total jerks. Realistic arcade representation though. Every arcade has em.

Oh snap. Now I know why “sticking to the program” is so important. If games don’t, then they can be shut down for good. That’s so dark, Disney.

Ah now I wanna learn Q*bert-ese. That sounds really fun.

Also, it’s funny to see how much the village people (pun intended) need Ralph now after they berated him for “wrecking everything.” Yea, karma bitch.

I like how smitten Felix is for high-definition characters. Lol innuendo.

Are the cybug eggs supposed to be a reference to the eggs from Aliens? If so, I approve.

Aw, Ralph just wants everyone’s approval. That’s so sad :( Poor Ralph.

The little cybug just jumped on Ralph’s face. Totally a reference to Aliens.

Hahahahaha. Sonic lost his rings!

Sugar Rush is a mix between Mario Kart and Candyland right? That’s sweet (yes, pun intended again).

Also, that’s a theme catchy song.

I can’t believe that’s Sarah Silverman!

Whoa was that a glitch...? Do they have those in this movie?

If cybugs are viruses, does that mean Hero’s Duty is like the Norton Antivirus of the arcade then? Lol that’d be a riveting game.

Pay-to-play for this racing competition seems like it guarantees the richest racers will always race…it’s almost like the top 1% of racers will always stay at the top…hey wait a minute, Disney…

I like how the coins dissolve in to 0’s and 1’s. It’s the little details that make this movie awesome.

Oh no, Ralph’s medal got dissolved…

So Vanellope is a glitch. Whoa.

Haha. The cops are donuts. Got em.

Is that Ralph or Shrek?

AH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REPRESENTATION OF POLICE BRUTALITY??? AH DISNEY I SEE YOU

Whoa, glitch discrimination. That’s some deep stuff yo.

THE OREOS ARE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ I’M GONNA McFREAKIN’ LOSE IT

Children of the Candy Corn? There are so many references in this movie that I highly doubt younger audiences will recognize.

Lol. Fun-geon. Pun-geon. Aha, ok. I’m done-geon. Oh my god. It went full circle.

A Darth Vader breathing reference? What doesn’t this movie have???

Pixlexia? Is that a play on dyslexia?

Holy fuck, these racers are awful. They’re destroying Vanellope’s car just cuz she’s different? WTF.

Yay! Ralph to the rescue!

Haha. Ralph can break everything except a jawbreaker. Just like I remember them.

Oh snap. Nvm, he did.

Why would a creepy character like Turbo be the hero of a racing game? He sure doesn’t look like a hero…

Also, good exposition for the word “Turbo.”

Ahaha. Nesquik-sand. I love Nesquik. But I hate sand. It’s rough. And course. And it gets everywhere (lol, ok I’m done).

Aha Laffy Taffy that laugh. This movie is full of puns too? Oh I am in love.

Aaaaand insert obligatory Disney romance subplot here.

Lol. Gunshots are the fastest way to silence unwanted singing.

Oh my gosh. Candy-cybugs???

Is Vanellope calling Ralph “Knuckles” supposed to be a Sonic the Hedgehog reference? If so, I love it.

Lolololol did she just call him GLaDOS too??? Gold!!!

A game within a game. Game-ception? Nope, a mini-game!

Aw Vanellope and Ralph are bonding.

AW VANELLOPE LOVES THE CAR RALPH MADE FOR HER. THAT’S SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.

I get the vibe I’m not supposed to like King Candy, but his puns save me. Spiritually, ethically, psychologically. Everything.

Ahhhhh the ol’ Mentos and Diet Coke trick. Good one.

Whoa. The parallels between Vanellope and Ralph are striking, sure. But the fact that she can’t even leave her game because she’s a glitch? That’s hard stuff. At least Ralph can go where he pleases. Damn, Disney.

Lol, Vanellope learning to drive is exactly how I was in driver’s ed. “What do these pedals on the floor do?”

Vanellope has a chance to win if she can “get that glitch under control?” That totally undermines the entire message of the movie thus far! What the heck!

AAAAAAAHHHHH THE UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START CHEAT CODE!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Aw, even Vanellope’s code is alienated from the rest of the game…

Lol, come on Felix. Put a trigger warning on before you say “Dynamite gal.”

HOLY FUCK VANELLOPE WILL DIE IF SHE WINS THE RACE. OH MY GOD KING CANDY’S LOGIC MAKES SENSE BUT HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWFUL. JESUS DISNEY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

AAAAHHH VANELLOPE MADE RALPH A MEDAL OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RALPH NO NOT THE CAR OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NO NO NO

This movie is really sending mixed signals about being bad. Is it good to be bad? Is it bad to be bad? Are bad guys just alone no matter which way they try to be?

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Why is Vanellope on the side of the arcade game if she’s a glitch? Game makers wouldn’t do that…what’s going on…

Lol, I literally just thought of that Ralph. No fair.

Haha. Candy-coated Heart of Darkness. The horror. The horror.

Jesus, eating Sour Bill is like dunking him in acid. Ralph is twisted, wow oh wow.

Whoa. Jeez how omnipotent is King Candy? He forcibly made Vanellope a glitch, then locked up everyone’s memories of her? Whoa.

The game will reset if Vanellope crosses the finish line? Hm….

Also, nice “stick around” pun, Ralph.

Lol. Felix making the bars stronger is great.

So is Ralph returning to being bad…by doing something good? Again, what is this movie trying to say! Be good or be bad??? Be bad with good intentions??? Jeez, I’ve never had such an identity crisis over a movie before!

Haha. The assorted fans with nuts are the Cameron Crazies. Nice touch.

Ooooooo I love the camera pan-around for the racecars! Just like in Mario Kart!

Ah someone even spun out before the start! Didn’t get the timing right, eh?

Now that’s what I call pod-racing!

Ayyy nice. Vanellope’s glitch moved her ahead of those Mean-Girl-esque candy racers!

Damn, Vanellope is 2 fast 2 furious for King Candy (with a little Tokyo Drift thrown in there for good measure).

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. King Candy is Turbo. He passed his glitch on to Vanellope so she’d be the outcast and not him. But Vanellope inadvertently passed it back to him and exposed him. Whoa.

Oh nice, another literary reference. On the “Come back soon” sign, it says “Parting is such sweet sorrow…” from Romeo and Juliet. Nice one (and a good pun too).

Oh god, Vanellope still can’t leave the game.

No no no she can’t die. No no no don’t do it, Disney.

Oh I see. Ralph is using his bad wrecking powers for good. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhh snap. Now Turbo is game-hopping virus. Shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO. IS RALPH GONNA DIE???

Oh. He didn’t. Good.

Wait, is Vanellope getting a dress? Aw come on, Disney. I thought we were done with gender stereotyping.

Whoa, what??? Princess Vanellope??? Yo way to go!!!

Yea, Vanellope, yea! Execute those suckers! Fuck em up!!!

Aw, she was just kidding. Darn it.

Lol, constitutional democracy? President Vanellope? Yea, I’d vote for her.

Jesus, even with a happy ending, Disney has to play with my heart. Why does Ralph have to say goodbye. Why why why.

Aw a nice sweet happy ending where everybody wins. Good ol’ Disney.

HOLY CRAP RALPH CAN SEE VANELLOPE RACING WHEN HE GETS THROWN OFF THE BUILDING THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE OH MY GOSH

AHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT ENDING. WHAT A PERFECT LAST LINE. AHHHHH THIS MOVIE IS SO PERFECT. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW GAAAAAHHHHHH

OH MY GOODNESS JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER. THE PAC-MAN ENDGAME GLITCH IS AT THE END OF THE CREDITS DURING THE DISNEY LOGO. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This movie is beautiful. Just simply beautiful.

#itsdisneymydudes #wreck it ralph #i'm gonna wreck it #ralph #disney #video games #10/10 #highly recommend #when is wreck it ralph 2 coming out #not soon enough

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