#I’m going to a work thing next week

[lynx-tales]

Why is it so hard to find clothing (especially underclothes and pants) that fucking fit.

Like, I know part of the problem is that I’ve gained a lot of weight in the last 10 years and I have a lot of baggage around it. But. Why. Don’t. Things. Fit.

I have tried to order binders from underworks multiple times and they never fit. I have bought like 6 underwire bras in the last few months that were all wrong. I looked at r/abrathatfits but the size they gave me seems implausible to say the least.

Things I like aren’t made to fit people my size. I am wasting money like a water mill trying to make things fit me

I hate having a body. I want to be able to manifest clothing on my body.

#lynx tales #i want to not have breasts #but I’m afraid I’ll regret getting rid of them for the like 215% of the time I like them #anyway I hate myself and I want to die #I’m going to a work thing next week #and the only outfit ideas I have are the cape i got on clearance from spirit earlier this year #but I have nothing to wear with it #I keep trying to overhaul my wardrobe but like #it’s so goddamn frustrating #someone please just shoot me #just put us all out of my misery

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[fireyartccoon]

ok so I might’ve forgotten to get something ready for Wednesday BUT-

you can have Nine and Chaos Sonic from my Sonic Prime AU being siblings instead

#wsatw #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #i guess in my case it’s wholesome chaos sonic and Nine wednesday #Oopsie daisy #chaos sonic #miles nine prower #sonic au #sonic prime #sonic prime au #Just regular ‘stacking random stuff on your sleep deprived brother’s head’ activities #Nine is very much going to lock him out of his room for the next few weeks #But that ain’t gonna stop the beepo #Oh boy this AU has been in the works for way too long so idk where to even get started on the lore #Maybe I’ll try to do an ask blog #Maybe I’ll fail miserably #I’m sure I’ll be fine #Have a lovely Wednesday y’all #also #prismatic parallel AU #<- what I plan on naming this AU #Unsure if it’s already an existing thing but oh well #time to disappear for a prolonged period of time again

[snzluv3r]

i got the job :)))))))))

#hopefully things start looking up i’m really really nervous about working full time again with my health being not good #but i don’t have a choice and i want to try #nervous nervous nervous nervous #having surgery next week so i’m hoping things just go smoothly #fingers crossed #might be a little mia or i might be overactive lmao we will see #in times of stress it is one or the other LOL #anyways #not snz sorry guys #thanks for listening sorry for not responding to ppl lately

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).

#storyrambles #it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance. #this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun #flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun #but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean #‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid #I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no. #‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask. #‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours. #‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works. #sorry for the rant im just. tired. #you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard #and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves? #yeah. that’s this friend here. #usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit #and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them #I am not going to play along. #UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’ #I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me #it’s uncomfortable. #also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID #will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I? #(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.) #I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day. #‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’ #first of all. that’s different? #secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves #also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so. #ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible. #but UGHHHHHH

[pebblezone]

She is soooo Living Dead Girl core

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #seras victoria #a #okay I need to explain myself I started a journey last week to get world without logos on Apple Music which worked but before involved me #searching through hellsing playlists and one of them had dragula and I was omg wait rob zombie I’ve never given you the time of day that #ends now to which I listen to all of hellbilly deluxe and am like this is sooooo seras core my baby girl #so starting Monday I’m evening what cool drawing can I make so I can be like living dead girl core #also so on Instagram I can have it be the little jingle that was the main driving point #the important thing to note is I finished ultimate Tuesday and decided that I have to watch the abridge because it seems like #required reading so that same night I begin watching the abridge as I’m finalizing the sketch for this #next day comes I’m going ham and I hit the 7th episode and imagine my absolute horror to find they used it for her going ham #I’m unoriginal beyond reason and I’m very distressed about it that’s it I’ve bared my soul to the harsh harsh world #abridged makes me remember that cishets interact with media too

[simplysolo]

ehhhhh kinda going in and out of a bad bout of depression right now, so i think i’ll be pretty on and off of here for now

#still workin on some more art because it’s kinda giving me some will to live rn #hopefully things improve within the next week #usually how these things go for me #i’ll be okay though! #eventually #i’m gonna take a step back from the internet for a but right now though #just to focus on my work and wellbeing to the best of my ability #my asks and dms will stay open #can’t promise a quick reply though #simply speaks #and struggles

[agenttexsflippedshit]

In an effort to spend less time on doom scrolling and falling prey to buying dumb shit I don’t need, I’m trying to get into new hobbies and make new art and just like. Be a better version of myself. And yeah rn the progress is looking like “spend an hour getting lost in the bobbin lace tags while watching a show at 1.25 speed” but there’s a project on the pillow and I’m excited to make progress.

This is also a roundabout way of regretfully informing my friends here that I’m watching one piece.

#watching this show is v much like running a mile #where you keep your head up and focus on the next step instead of ruminating on how much further you have to go #but also I am at the base (85 episodes in) of an expansive mountain (some 1000+ episodes) #also I restarted doom and borderlands 2 so I should be playing those tbh #also also I go to the gym more! and I’ve got a personal trainer that I’m seeing once a week #which is like the most bougie thing in my life rn but I justify it bc my job reimbursed 50% of my gym costs #wow yknow these mood stabilizers are actually working. huh. #realizations that hit in the middle of a tag monologue #can’t wait to tell her about this shit

[starbuck]

guess who fought god and won againnnnnnnnn…..?

#somehow my truly unhinged plan of finishing a lab and two essays after work three days in a row fucking worked????? #so tomorrow i get to go birding and just enjoy it???????? #WILD. #i MAY have to make some revisions on my chemistry essay but that will be a MINOR event #the bulk of everything is done #and tbh my professor has been ignoring my pleas for help all week - so most likely i’ll just end up turning it in as is #(and taking her ass to Dispute Court if she tries to give me a low score after not helping when i asked for it) #but i’m just glad it’s all DONE #i even worked ahead a little for next week which i have not had time to do in a WHILE #and now i’m just lying in bed :)) eating grapes :)) #had a successful program today… STILL might be getting promoted… it’s an entire HOUR before midnight #life is GOOD man… #i mean. there are still Issues to be sure #but i’m pushing through it - i’m making it work #i’m eagerly awaiting the time where things Stop Happening for a bit #but for now - i can take it #i can take it all

[jutsuuu]

girl help I’m experiencing

#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to???? #everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want #one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around #I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow? #and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted #and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces #which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes #and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE #on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal #and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties #maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties #I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff #I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack #or early next year #and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it #ughghghghghghggh #I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat. #after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing #anyway how are you?

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[camgoloud]

today. i have experienced the HORRORS (opened laptop for morning meeting while seated between boss and coworker; was greeted with ao3 page i forgot to close last night)

#it’s fine it’s fine i THINK it’s fine. both of them were looking at their own computers and i closed that shit SO fast and i have no reason #to believe that either one of them is online enough to know anything about ao3 much less enough about what it looks like to recognize it #from peripheral vision/​during the quick glance they might have had the opportunity to get #fortunately my other coworker who i know IS quite online (the two of us literally had to team up to explain a meme to the other two people #that i was sitting between later during this VERY meeting. which i was so cool and normal during by the way) was sitting over on the #opposite side of the table. and i was cool about it externally. and they had no reaction of any kind. so #nevertheless. HORRORS. it wasn’t even like a story was open which would have been just a wall of text it was like. a search result. #displaying clearly and distinctly the site’s formatting #it doesn’t help that the rest of today has also been extremely stressful and the next few days will be much the same because there are #some Things i have to do that are fairly high-stakes and that i’m extremely stressed about. fun! fantastic! #i was literally only ON ao3 last night in the first place to try to pregame/destress ahead of having to come into work this week 😭 #and i already fucked up something important today that’s setting a bunch of things back for multiple people. and i feel like i’m going to #get my period in the next day or two which would make it a week early if it happens. super fun. amazing! #guess i’ll just keep riding the adrenaline-fueled train wreck that never stops all the way through friday! #caseyposting

[slicznymartwy]

!!! i can’t believe all the requests i got recently ^ ^ i’ve got plans for all of them, but i won’t be able to write until tonight at the earliest .. pls don’t think i’m ignoring anyone’s asks 🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️💌

#work is killing me tbh #it’s not being very consistent right now which is fucking with me insanely #but i think things are going to even out next week #i’m still thinking about my lil freak #i actually wrote something (!! shock) but it’s just between reader and the sorority girls so i didn’t think anyone would be interested lol #but once i add some billy to it i’ll post it hehe #and then the requests too #Basically i am making plans in the background sorry for being inactive T T #del.txt

[dykefever]

GUESS WHO HAS A JOB BABY! and also possibly a room!!!!!

#sublet might turn into an actual place to live woooooo the girl messaged me being like hey wanna stay till the lease ends #slay to end all slays ! #and work won’t start till next week or the week after so now i can officially enjoy last bit of unemployment hehe :-) #i’m going 2 explore the city n stuff i’m so keen!!! #laura says some things

[arthur-r]

as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed #BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!! #(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics) #and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction #just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future #anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really #but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧 #idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though #i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited #ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB #kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me…. #and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see #followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS #(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like #extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….) #anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework #(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it) #and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on?? #and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else #and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!! #projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!) #history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end) #one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!) #and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming #and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE #ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real #can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together #but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something?? #anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep #thank you world. goodnight

[jorvikzelda]

This may be a good and normal thing but I have absolutely zero regrets about having purchased the laptop last night. Like all day yesterday and even as I was buying I was going oh god should I should I not but now I’m not even having second thoughts about the huge display lmao

#SO FUCKING GLAD that I actually did some extra research rather than just going meh the one I looked at before is probably better #I think it was a SIGN that I got paid a little early for the month’s work and then like the day after the laptop I bought went on sale #(Didn’t actually pay immediately so I didn’t USE any of that money but that is besides the point) #Only with the reservation of man… it’s big… and heavy… and REALLY huge and that’s bad… #I HAD deep down been going ‘man if only there was a bigger laptop with the same specs as the one I wanna buy’ #And then!!! This baby pops up!! With a big display and BETTER specs!!!!!!!! #Cannot begin to express my excitement at playing Real People Games like that hasn’t even been a POSSIBILITY #Stray is at the top of my list right next to ranch of rivershine #And also probably Elden Ring that shit looks NEAT #(Also yes there is a catch and a reason this one is cheaper even though it’s better! The one I was planning on getting had an OLED display #This one’s just a normal good old LCD display. But in all honesty that is ABSOLUTELY a sacrifice I’m willing to make lol) #z talks #not horse game #Also the fact it’s not currently in stock so I’ll be waiting almost 3 weeks for it also very much feels like a good thing #Like. I have a Date on which I can expect to Receive It. And that means I have a very set time frame for the stuff I want to do to prepare #(mainly organise my cloud storage to make sure everything’s where it should be) #(but that’s a bigger problem than it might sound like because I have a LOT of files)