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thelivingautomaton · 8 months

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so lately i've been curing my brainrot by listening to audiobooks while i crochet, the result being that i have gotten really, really into the wheel of time (which i've previously bounced off of like, 3 separate times) and also been tweeting about it. anyway i have finished the first book and simply must scream into the void about it

jesus, okay, where do i even begin. let's talk about characters

so i KNEW that mat was gonna be The Character Of All Time going right in, i am self-aware enough about what kinds of blorbos i enjoy (read: cocky roguish guy who is actually a sopping wet cat of a man and uses snark to obscure deep-seated angst and/or doubt in himself, his identity, and his goodness). and i do have an affection for mat at this point

although ngl it kind of totally went over my head when i last tried to read these books that he is also? kind of a dick this early on? though to be fair he was having his soul eaten by an evil dagger for like, two-thirds of the book

that being said. what i did NOT expect was for the dark horse surprise contenders for Character Of All Time to be nynaeve and rand

nynaeve is literally the funniest, pettiest bitch ever and i love her SO MUCH. literally what if you were a preternaturally gifted healer and given a position of authority at a very young age so you had a complex about it, but that complex manifests itself as a bullheaded stubborn drive to Take Care Of Your People, and you are ready to throw hands with every magic lady Jedi on the way because you are fueled by Pure Unadulterated Spite at all times

every time she'd try to start a catty slap fight with moiraine and moiraine would just, like, sip her tea unbothered? now THAT'S comedy

sidenote, dear lord do these characters drink a lot of tea. do they have coffee in this nebula. do they have new world crops. i feel like someone must have mentioned potatoes. where was i

oh my god, rand. RAND. literally WHAT IF you were a farmboy from the ass-end of nowhere and you get pulled into this fantastical adventure like a hero from legend, but you spend 700 pages having all of your assumptions about the world and yourself systemically questioned and tested and broken down. and the whole time you're holding onto the hope of going home and going back to the way things were, until you experience the crushing weight of the Hero's Journey and the fact that you can never really go home (read: go back to the simple life and the way things used to be) ever again

EXCEPT!!! THAT THERE IS ALSO WONDER AND EXCITEMENT AND CURIOSITY TOO!!! like, obviously i loved all the times that rand and the other farm kids are agog seeing different parts of the world (especially the cities -- dude, i LOVE the setup for caemlyn) but literally one of my favorite scenes was when rand is on the spray sitting at the top of the mast and he just starts laughing aloud for the freedom and joy of it all. the journey will be long and terrible and arduous but it's so important to show that there are bright moments on the way too. i'm going to puke

also there's a few moments between rand and the dark one (ba'alzamon? bro idk how anything is spelled) that were so *chef's kiss*, like rand telling him "i belong to myself" or in their big fight when he screams that he'll never be a hound for the dark one. more generally i love the emphasis placed on the importance and power of people taking a stand, even if they know it's futile. ESPECIALLY if they know it's futile. (there was this line from moiraine like "the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, but i refuse to believe it weaves an end to all hope". waugh)

also i know the reveal that rand can channel was telegraphed from a mile away but i ain't even mad about it because i feel like the setup was done so nicely. you get a scene of moiraine explaining to nynaeve about how channeling feels the first time you do it (i.e. you have the greatest need you've ever known, then a week later your body has a delayed reaction that feels like a weird flu), you get rand and mat escaping whitebridge via improbable lightning strikes, then you get rand coming down with a weird flu. like, idk, i like it when creators set up dominoes and i as a reader can SEE the dominoes getting set up and i get to go like, hoohoohoo, can't wait for those to get knocked down!

unsurprisingly since rand and nynaeve are my two favs i also am enamored with their dynamic. maybe it's because you're in rand's head the most in this book, and so it's the closest you as a reader are to seeing a straightforward platonic relationship between a male and female character? but okay like, listen. nynaeve is the FIRST PERSON (maybe the only person rn??) rand shares his fears with re: tam not being his dad and him not knowing who he is. and nynaeve immediately reassures him that it doesn't matter, she saw tam and kari with him and she KNOWS they loved him like any father and mother

or like, the scene when rand overhears lan and nynaeve having their whole Dramatic Star-Crossed Romance (which is like, cool, but also, can't wait for lan to get over his TTRPG Tragic Backstory [affectionate] and kiss her already), and the chapter ends with a line like "Rand closed his eyes. He did not think the Wisdom would like it if he saw her cry." good GOD!

how old are these kids supposed to be anyway. like i know nynaeve is older by a few years and she's...24? so are the rest 18-20ish? oh my god you guys, they're KIDS

i'm sure i will have more thoughts about the other characters as these books progress and shit continues to pop off and Get Funky (especially relevant vis a vis perrin going full wolf mode and egwene learning how to be an aes sedai). also i love how often it's repeated that people from the two rivers are The Most Stubborn People Alive, and how rand holds onto that as part of his identity (re: envisioning hardy two rivers soil)

now let us talk about the world because OH MY GOD

one of the things that definitely stuck with me was the secret hidden lore re: "this is actually post-post-post apocalyptic earth", cf. thom telling stories about "lenn flying to the skies in an eagle made of fire" and "salya walking among the stars", because it is so fucking insane as a concept and jordan does it REALLY WELL, in the sense that any references to "our" earth are so oblique and indirect that they're barely comprehensible, which is as it should be if these books take place a whole two ages later

but it's also such a perfect excuse/reason to deliberately echo and make homage to myths and stories that we as readers are familiar with, the most obvious being the legend of artur hawkwing (and also half of our main cast having arthurian-esque names). something something george lucas saying that it's like poetry, it rhymes

the part that really dropped me flat on my ass though was when perrin and egwene and elyas are leaving the tinkers and elyas LITERALLY recites anglican catechism at them ("as it once was, so shall it ever be, world without end"), reader i screamed

that being said. i do kind of wish there was more Weird Religion Bullshit. i mean it makes sense that the cosmology and people's theological beliefs are pretty universal (given that it's a Canonical Big Deal Historical Event that the embodiment of evil punched a hole in reality and made magic evil and fucked up for men forever), but like. where is the variety! where is the spice! where are the religious freaks! give me religious freaks!!!

however this is ameliorated by the fantastic variety in cultures/societies/stories, and also the overarching theme of "the world has moved on from what it once was". like, everything with loial (also strong contender for Supporting Character Of All Time) talking about the groves and how different the world is from what he'd read about in the stedding! the entire scene with the green man (which still makes me feel completely fucking insane, just btw)! perrin and egwene at the ruined statue of artur hawkwing! moiraine telling the people of emond's field about manetheren! WHEWWWWWWWWWW

like, it really does give you this sense of history and loss. but also i hope that as the books go on it gets more into, like, "okay, the world has moved on and nothing will ever be as it once was. so what are we going to do with the world we have? how are we going to keep it safe and let it grow?"

sidenote: the tragedy of listening to the audiobooks is that i can't flip back to look at the map or the glossary if i start getting a little lost 😭 help i just want to get everything Right in my head

i also feel like jordan does a fantastic job of like...getting the reader further and further into the more fantastical or impactful elements of the world step by careful step and pacing out how he escalates the characters' importance to the world. does this make any sense.

like, baerlon -> whitebridge -> caemlyn is a steady stepwise escalation in Experiencing A City. and the one-two-three combo of loial explaining ta'veren to rand + rand overhearing a farmer gossip about queen morgase and her family + the repeated references to seeing the false dragon in caemlyn all leads perfectly into rand falling into the garden and the entire chapter with elayne and gawyn and morgase. (side note: this chapter was fucking incredible, good god i am obsessed with royal political bullshit.) OR having all these moments of the characters with moiraine to establish her nature, then providing an immediate contrast with the introduction of elaida as the "other" aes sedai. DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL. it's dominoes, baby

okay i have a few other miscellaneous thoughts

i fucking love how unapologetically trope-y these books are. it is so crunchy. not just vis a vis the hero's journey, but also, like, all the repeated motifs? spooky symbolic dream sequences? excerpts from in-universe writings and poetry? Foreshadowing Via Fortune-Telling? chef's kiss

also, dude, i love that robert jordan really dropped all of the fucking symbols for the next who knows how many books into three paragraphs via min. he knew the girlies would go crazy for this. AND HE WAS RIGHT

same goes for the whole concept of ta'veren, like i know on the surface it's kind of a goofy concept that you are Assigned Main Character At Birth by the wheel/the pattern, but also like. this man knew people on tumblr would be obsessing over characters doomed/haunted by narratives 30 years after these books were published. his third eye was OPEN

in a bizarre way so much of the story elements and pacing feels like a d&d campaign. mat is the rogue who picks up stuff he really shouldn't. perrin is a barbarian that accidentally took a level in druid. lan is the dm's npc blorbo with the intricately detailed tragic backstory that gets dumped on the players all at once (this is affectionate i swear). do you see what i'm saying

hi i love these books a lot already and i can't wait for them to get even more insane. thanks 4 ur time

#wheel of time #the wheel of time #wot book spoilers #but not really cos this is all the first book. i just don't know what other tags to add and i want this post to Find Its People #also i'm just now realizing how appropriate it is that i crochet while listening to these books #because. you know. the wheel weaves and whatnot

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legends-of-time · 3 months

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The Journey of Living at Downton

Chapter 14: February 1918

Masterlist

Emma has gone back to being a servant, though she knows helps to serve the family when they eat, as the Hospital no longer needs her and she doesn't have anything else but now the war is over she's thinking more and more about Mr Branson's, Tom's, offer and leaving Downton for a new life in Ireland.

Sybil has told Emma that her and Billy Prior have agreed to run away a couple of weeks earlier and had asked for Emma's assistance, which she gives and this delays her answering Tom's request.

The plan was already in motion, Billy has gotten a job in marine engineering and shipbuilding down in Southampton that is set up. The plan was for Emma to get the keys for one of the Downton cars and, along with Billy sneaking onto the grounds, they are going to leave in the car and begin the journey to Gretna Green.

Emma is anxious about all this sneaking about but Sybil reassures her that it will be okay. She knows that Sybil is getting increasingly irritated by her family's talk of things returning to the way they were and the insipid conversations around her. She's eagerly waiting to leave this life.

——

Emma finds Lady Edith watching an army Hospital truck leave from the front door.

"That's the last of the equipment gone." Lady Edith says as Emma joins her.

"We've put the Drawing room back to normal, it seems the war really is over," Emma replies.

"Yes, it seems so."

——

Due to the lack of footmen, Emma a short time later finds herself stepping up to the car that holds Sir Richard and holds the door open for him as he steps out while his valet, Mr Brookes, steps out from the front of the car on his own. Her eyes flicker to Mr Branson sitting in the driver's seat and he gazes back.

Lord Grantham joins them as he steps out.

"The train was late." Sir Richard says to him.

"Welcome to the new world." His Lordship replies as Emma closes the car door and starts unstrapping the luggage from the back of the car with the help of Mr Brookes.

"When a war is over, the first emotion is relief, the second, disappointment." Sir Richard drearily remarks.

"How sad. But how true. Come in and have some tea." The two of them walk inside.

——

That evening, Emma sits next to Anna at the table in the Servants' Hall with Daisy pouring her some tea as Mrs Patmore brings some food to the table. Mr Bates sits on Anna's other side while Thomas, Miss O'Brien and Gemma sit on the other side.

"Will you miss the extra staff, Mrs Patmore?" Anna asks the woman who just entered. George passes behind Emma with a jug so she pushes her chair in a bit so he doesn't trip.

Mrs Patmore huffs. "Not really. When push comes to shove, I'd rather do it myself. Though God knows what I'm to feed them on. There's nothing out there to be had. Oh well. The Lord tempers the wind to the shorn lamb." She then walks out of the room

"What about you, Thomas? How much longer will you stay?" Daisy asks as she pours Mr Bates a cup.

"Well, now the last of the invalids have gone, I suppose I'm finished. I'll report to Major Clarkson, but he won't be taking anyone on." Thomas tells her. Emma observes him, feeling sorry for him.

"No he isn't, which obviously meant I could no longer continue there," Emma says. "I'm thankful the family took me back on."

"I suppose the Hospital will revert to the way it was before the war," Anna remarks.

"Where will you go?" Daisy asks just after she finishes pouring Miss O'Brien a cup.

"What's it to you?" Thomas stubs out his cigarette and leaves. Miss O'Brien and Emma follow him to where he stands looking at the mirror next to the stairs.

"Where will you go?" Miss O'Brien asks.

"I'll tell you where I'm going. Into business. It's all set up." Thomas explains as he straightens his jacket.

"Oh no, you mean the black market don't you?" Emma says, aghast at the idea and Miss O'Brien looks to be feeling the same.

Thomas reaches for a brush hanging on the wall and uses it on his jacket. "Don't look so surprised. I found a dealer, and as soon as I make the payment, I'll have the supplies."

"How can you trust him?" Emma questions, glancing at the servants passing them.

"It's not about trust, it's about business," Thomas replies.

"Where will you keep them?" Miss O'Brien asks.

"I've got a shed in the Village, and I've got a banger to deliver the stuff. I'll be well fixed as soon as word gets out." He says to reassure them though Emma doesn't feel it. "You heard her. There are shortages all around." Thomas puts back the brush.

Miss O'Brien glances over her shoulder before turning back to Thomas. "Isn't it dangerous?"

Thomas looks unbothered by her concern. "I don't think so. I don't think the police are bothered about rationing now the war's over. It won't last forever." He quite says a bit as Mrs Patmore passes. "But by the time it's done, I should have enough to go into business properly."

"So that's your future settled as a plutocrat. In the meantime, have you found somewhere to live?" Miss O'Brien questions.

"Not yet, but there's no hurry. I'm sure they won't object if I stop here for a week or two."

"I shouldn't bet on it." Miss O'Brien leaves them.

The dressing gong rings and the servants get up to prepare.

Emma turns to Thomas before she leaves. "She's right you need to sort it out."

——

Emma walks into the Garage, her heels clicking on the Garage floor and Mr Branson glances up from the car engine. He observes her intently and she tilts her head shyly, waiting for him to say something.

"You look nice, haven't seen you wearing that in a while." He says.

"Thought I'd begin wearing it again since they've given me my old job back so I'll be wearing this every day now," Emma replies. Mr Branson seems to be continuing to check her out. "It's nothing like when I wore something of Sybil's."

"It's just as lovely." To- Mr Branson says.

She smiles and looks down at her feet before looking at him again. "You should've seen me in my 21st century clothes, they have different standards."

He laughs. "I can imagine."

Emma chews her lip. "Where have you been all day?"

"Nowhere. I've just been busy." He replies.

Emma sighs walking towards him. "You know it's funny. I thought I'd be happy going back to what I was doing before but it doesn't feel right. Not what I want to do for the rest of my life after doing something new. I feel I want more from life now than I did before."

"Does this mean that you've made up your mind... at last?" He looks at her hopefully.

Emma shakes her head. "Not quite. But almost." Mr Branson looks down, slightly disappointed. She feels bad but she can't answer him yet. Instead, she reaches up and touches his face. He looks up, surprised, and stares at her longingly.

——

Emma slips into the corridor through the back door and sees Anna stepping out of Mr Carson's Pantry.

"What are you doing?" Anna asks.

"Nothing. Why were you talking to Mr Carson?" Emma quickly says, hoping to divert the conversation away from what she'd been doing.

Anna sighs. "It's Sir Richard."

"What about him?" Emma asks as they walk down the corridor.

"He's offered me money to essentially spy on Lady Mary."

"He never has!" Emma exclaims.

"Yes. I won't do it but I felt Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson should know." Anna replies.

Emma nods. "But shouldn't Lady Mary know?"

"I don't know."

"I don't know about her but I would like to know what my fiancé is up to." Emma points out.

——

The next day, Thomas takes Miss O'Brien and Emma to his shed where he's stocked up.

"Wow," Emma mutters as she looks at the fully stocked shed.

"Where did you get it all?" Miss O'Brien asks in disbelief.

"I told you, this bloke from Leeds," Thomas explains.

"Where did he get it?" Miss O'Brien continues to ask in the same disbelief.

"Some's army surplus, some's from America and Ireland, everywhere. He's got contacts all over, that's what I'm paying him for." Thomas tells them.

"How much have you paid him?" Emma asks worriedly. She can't help but feel that Thomas has got the short end of the stick. He couldn't have done this well.

"A lot. But I'm not worried." Thomas replies casually. "I've taken nothing perishable. This lot'll last for months. I'll be sold out long before any of it's gone off."

"Starting with Mrs Patmore." Miss O'Brien states.

"I'm not getting involved in that, all right?" Emma says looking at the two of them.

"Suit yourself," Thomas says.

——

Emma is busy helping Sybil get dressed for dinner, though not much as she wanted to do it herself for practice, so Emma helps Lady Edith more instead before she has to get ready to serve the family when they eat. She steps out of Lady Edith's room to find an unsettled Anna heading towards her to go down the servants' stairs.

"Anna? Is everything all right?" She asks worriedly.

Anna looks up at her blinking in surprise as if she had been in thought and had not noticed her. "Yes, I'm fine."

Emma begins walking next to her. "Are you sure? You look a bit upset."

"Lady Mary wasn't too pleased about me not telling her first about Sir Richard. I suppose her reprimand upset me a bit." Anna explains as they begin walking down the stairs.

"Sorry to hear that," Emma replies. "She's probably more stressed and upset with Sir Richard than you. You were just the closest person to take it out on."

"You're probably right," Anna responds.

——

Emma walks into the Library to see Mr Crawley and Miss Swire in there.

"Oh, I'm sorry Sir, Miss. I'd come for the tray." Emma apologies. She had hurried upstairs when it was realised that while they had cleared the tea, they'd forgotten to take the tray.

"It's all right, nobody's down yet." Mr Crawley reassures her.

"I could've gotten it for you, you're busy getting dinner ready." Miss Swire adds.

"It's all right Miss, most of what I need to do is done until you all sit to eat," Emma says.

"No, no it's fine. I'll help you bring it down. It's too heavy to do on your own." Miss Swire says, picking up the tray. Emma watches her worriedly.

"It's too heavy for you." Mr Crawley warns her.

"No, it's not."

"Look out!" Mr Crawley cries just as Miss Swire trips over a footstool, reaching for her as Emma lunges forward to try to catch Miss Swire, but she drops the tray and falls against the mantel.

"Heavens, that was a near thing." Mr Crawley takes her arm and it is then that Emma realises that Mr Crawley is standing out of his chair and it seems the other two have noticed as well.

"My God." Miss Swire mutters.

Emma waits with Mr Crawley as Miss Swire runs out of the Library to tell the others about what has happened. It is not long before Emma hears thundering steps and the family bursts into the Library with Lord Grantham and Miss Swire leading the charge.

"Is it true? Is it true what Lavinia says?" His Lordship hurriedly asks.

Emma offers her hand to Mr Crawley and he takes her hand, as well as Miss Swire's, to help himself stand up. The family is stunned with joy.

"I can't believe it!" Lady Mary gasps.

"It's so wonderful!" Lady Grantham echoes.

"It is, but don't tire yourself out," Sybil warns. "Sit down now and we'll send for Dr Clarkson."

"She's right. Edith, go with Branson. Ge-get Clarkson, but fetch Mama and Cousin Isobel as well. I don't care what they're doing. Tell them to come now." Lord Grantham proclaims as Sir Richard walks into the room. His Lordship grasps Mr Crawley's hand. "My dear chap, I cannot begin to tell you what this means to me."

"Well, it's pretty good news for me, too."

His Lordship laughs in relief.

——

Emma goes to tell downstairs immediately about what has happened. Dr Clarkson arrives and informs them that he had made a mistake. Every indication told him that the spine was transected, which would have been incurable. When Sir John Coats came to see Mr Crawley, he didn't agree and thought that it could be a case of spinal shock, which is intense bruising, which stops the legs from working but would heal. Dr Clarkson didn't tell anyone as he didn't agree with him and didn't want to raise Me Crawley's hopes. The good news is that as Dr Clarkson is wrong, Mr Crawley will make a full recovery though will carry a bruise on his spine for the rest of his life.

Mrs Crawley, the Dowager and Dr Clarkson all stay to eat. Anna and Emma had served the main course. Anna takes the trays downstairs while Emma retreated back to the Antechamber to sort out the wine. Because of where she is, she hears Mr Crawley's announcement to the table.

"I-I want to tell you all something. As you know, during this - well, I think I can say – horrible time, Lavinia has proved to be the most marvellous person."

"Here, here." His Lordship utters.

"Indeed." Mrs Crawley agrees.

"I never thought we would marry, for all sorts of reasons, but she wouldn't accept that. And so, now I'm very pleased to say that she's been proved right." Emma looks down, considering his words, she had stopped doing what she had been doing and now just stands and listens. "Lavinia and I will get married."

"Oh, my dear fellow." Lord Grantham says.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Mrs Crawley adds.

Emma can imagine the fake smile that Lady Mary is likely sporting right now.

"Just as soon as I'm well enough to walk down the aisle. Dr Clarkson can help us with when." Mr Crawley adds.

"Not long now." Dr Clarkson reassures.

"And she feels we ought to marry here, at Downton, to bury forever the memories of what, I hope, has been the darkest period of my life." Mr Crawley finishes.

"Of course." Lord Grantham agrees.

"Are you sure?" Miss Swire asks. "I know it should be at my home in London, but we've been through so much here."

"We'd be delighted."

"Yes, bravo. Excellent news." The Dowager remarks.

Emma stares at nothing for a moment, thinking.

——

She finds Mr Branson, or Tom as now what she should be saying, is reading the newspaper and he looks up to see her enter.

"You're very late. Don't you have dinner to clear?"

Emma shakes her head, trying not to smile too much. "They're fine clearing away without me. Though I doubt they'll notice me gone, everyone is so excited, they won't care where I am."

"I'm pleased. I like Mr Matthew." He replies.

Emma takes a breath before continuing. "He announced at dinner that he wants to get married at Downton. It makes me realise that this is a new beginning, that the war is truly over and it's time to move forward."

"Do you mean you've made your decision?" Tom asks hopefully.

"Yes. And my answer is..." Emma can see him bracing himself but she keeps her expression serious. "That I'm ready to travel... and you are my ticket." She lets herself smile. "To begin a new life, a new world—"

"Me?" Tom asks hopefully.

"No, Mr Bates. I feel he and I have an undeniable connection." Emma giggles and Tom stops holding his breath.

"I'm sorry. But I've waited so long for those words, I can't believe I'm hearing them. You won't mind leaving this world, Downton?" He questions. Emma doesn't blame him.

"Mind? Not at all! I've outgrown it." Emma exclaims.

Tom smiles with a sigh of relief and leans forward to kiss her. She holds back. "Yes, you can kiss me, but that is all until everything is settled."

"For now, God knows, it's enough that I can kiss you." Emma smiles at his reply and they kiss.

——

Turns out Mr Carson is no longer leaving as he couldn't work for a man who would bribe and spy, which Emma can understand though she worries that Lady Mary won't have his support when at Haxby.

They've had a letter from Major Bryant's mother. She and her husband are in Yorkshire on Friday and she wants to pay a visit as he had died and Downton was the last place they saw him alive. They'll give them luncheon and talk about the Major with those who knew him. To be honest Emma never really liked him.

The next day is when they arrive and Emma is in the Antechamber blocked off from the Dining room by a divider sorting the dishes that had been served, to take them down again. She's lost in thought, thinking about Tom. They had decided that they would begin putting their plan in motion to go to Ireland to get married after Sybil is sorted. Emma can't wait.

Suddenly, Ethel, of all people, barges past her with Anna and Mrs Hughes following her. She gapes in shock when she sees the baby in Ethel's arms.

"Leave me alone!" Ethel yells. Emma's eyes widen. That's definitely going to get the family's and their guests' attention.

"Ethel!" Mrs Hughes cries as Ethel rushes into the room with her child, Mrs Hughes and Anna in pursuit with Emma trailing after them. The luncheon party looks shocked.

"I tried to stop her—" Anna begins to say to Mr Carson.

"What on earth?" Lord Grantham exclaims.

"Ethel—" Lady Grantham turns to her husband. "I know what this is." She stands. "Mrs Hughes, I don't think it's quite the right—"

"I'm stopping," Ethel snaps, "until I've had my say." Ethel looks at Mrs Bryant. "This is Charlie, your grandson. He's almost a year old." Emma can see from Mrs Bryant's face that she looks interested.

Mr Bryant, on the other hand, stands up and throws his napkin on the table. "What proof have you?"

"What?"

"I say, what proof have you? If my son was the father of this boy, where's your proof? Any letters? Any signed statement?" Mr Bryant harshly replies. Emma winces.

"Why would there be any letters? We were in the same house." Ethel replies.

"I think she's telling the truth." Mrs Hughes pipes up.

"I'm not interested in "think."" Mr Bryant retorts. "I want proof that my son acknowledged the paternity of this boy. If what you say is true, then he would've known of the boy's existence for months before he...before he was killed."

"Yes, he knew," Ethel replies in a voice that is hard but also a whisper.

"So, what did he do about it?"

Ethel looks close to tears "Nothing. He did nothing."

"Thank you. That's the proof I was looking for. If Charles was the father, he would never have shirked his responsibilities. Never." Mr Bryant replies.

"Well, he did!"

"I won't listen to any more slander!" Mr Bryant snaps. Mrs Bryant is clearly upset, and not in agreement with her husband. "Now, will you please go and take that boy with you, whoever he is! You're upsetting Mrs Bryant!" Lady Grantham stares at Mr Bryant, appalled at his behaviour.

"Well, I would like—" His wife tries to say.

"I said you are upsetting Mrs Bryant!" Mr Bryant yells. Ethel cries and Emma puts her arm around her. "Lord Grantham, are you going to stand by while this woman holds us to ransom?"

Lord Grantham gives Mr Bryant an irritated look but stands up. "This isn't doing much good."

"Ethel, you better come with me." Mrs Hughes says, gripping her arm.

"Come on." Emma encourages. She, Anna and Mrs Hughes escort Ethel out with Charlie crying in her arms.

——

"If that's what he's like, I don't want his help. I don't want it." Ethel says from her seat at the Servants' Hall table, in between Emma and Anna. Emma cradles Charlie in her lap. She sees George, the Hall boy, come and loiter behind her.

"I doubt you'll have the option." Miss O'Brien says somewhat sombrely. "You're a dark horse. How did you keep it a secret all this time?" She stands on the other side of the table with Anne and Jean standing behind her and Mr Bates and Gemma sitting.

"Maybe when he's thought about it, he'll feel differently. You never know." Anna tries to reassure her.

Emma looks up from stroking Charlie's cheeks. "The mother seemed to be listening, maybe she'll get him to change his mind?"

Mr Carson enters causing them all to stand. "Anna, Emma, will you kindly go upstairs and help in the Dining room? Ethel, please take the child and leave." Ethel takes Charlie from Emma's arms. Emma frowns at his tone. "How did you get here?"

"I caught the bus and walked up from the Village," Ethel replies.

"Then can you reverse the process as quickly as possible?"

"She's very badly shaken, Mr Carson." Mr Bates intervenes. "She's lost everything."

Regretfully leaves the room with Anna but watches over her shoulder as Mr Carson asks, "Are you all right for the fare?"

"Yes, thank you," Ethel says walking out.

——

That night Emma helps Sybil pack what she needs, particularly her more simple clothes, instead of helping her get ready for dinner. She also slips the message that Sybil is feeling I'll and won't be down for dinner and the family won't realise anything tomorrow until Emma 'finds' the letter that has been left.

Emma helps them acquire the car and watches them leave while the family congregates in the Drawing room. She quickly darts back in to serve the family.

Emma is grabbed by Anna later that evening after the family had eaten and dragged up the servants' stairs and out onto the landing of the house to see Lady Mary standing there with, what Emma then recognises to be, Sybil's farewell letter in her hand. Emma's eyes widen. They weren't meant to find it until tomorrow!

"Did you know about this?" Lady Mary asks.

"Know about what?" Emma tries to ask innocently but Lady Mary is not fooled.

"Don't play ignorant." Lady Mary snaps and Emma's eyes widen at her tone. "You know that I know more than the others. Where is she?"

"You know in the letter it says Gretna Green," Emma answers reluctantly.

"How are they getting there?"

"They've taken one of the cars." At Anna's and Lady Mary's looks, she quickly adds, "They would've left it to be found!"

"Why did you do this?" Anna questions. Emma rolls her eyes.

"We need to go after her." Lady Mary declares.

"But—"

"And you're helping us find them. They won't have gotten too far." Lady Mary reasons.

"We need to find Lady Edith, she can drive," Anna says.

"Yes, that'll limit the damage. We cannot get Branson involved." Lady Mary agrees.

——

Emma sits quietly in the back seat of the car next to Anna while Lady Edith drives and Lady Mary sits next to her.

"They must stop at some point. It won't be open before the morning." The eldest Crawley daughter reasons.

"She won't expect us to be in pursuit until tomorrow, so they'll stay somewhere on the road." Her sister adds.

"We hope," Anna remarks.

"Everyone keep an eye out for the motor." Lady Edith says. Emma continues looking down and not making any eye contact with anyone.

The girls continue their pursuit on the road. They pass an inn with a couple of motorcars out front.

"Isn't that the car?" Anna says, causing Lady Edith to slam on the brakes.

——

Anna stays in the car but Emma comes along with Lady Edith and Mary as they rush up the stairs. Lady Mary knocks on the door and enters. Sybil and Billy pull off blankets as Billy gets up from the chair and Sybil gets up from the bed.

"How did you find us? How did you know?" Billy asks. Emma stands anxiously behind the two elder Crawley daughters. She catches Sybil's eyes and they share a worried look.

"Never mind that. At least nothing's happened, thank God." Lady Mary replies.

"What do you mean "nothing's happened"?" Billy looks at Sybil, looking worried and confused about what she's implying. "I've decided to marry Billy, and your coming after me won't change that." Billy steps up beside Sybil and tries to look confidently but Emma can see he is anxious as his eyes dart between his future, hopefully, sisters-in-law.

"This isn't the way." Lady Edith adds.

"She's right. Of course Mama and Papa will hate it—"

"Why should they?" Billy bursts out, interrupting Lady Mary. Emma raises her eyebrows in impressed shock at his sudden confidence.

"Oh, pipe down." The interrupted woman snaps before turning to her youngest sister. "Sybil, can't you let them get used to the idea? Take your stand and refuse to budge, but allow them time. That way you won't have to break up the family."

"They would never give permission." Sybil reminds her.

"You don't need permission, you're twenty-three. But you do need their forgiveness if you're not to start your new life under a black shadow." Emma chews her lip. She kind of has a point.

"Don't listen. She's pretending to be reasonable to get you home again." Billy warns her having noticed Sybil thinking on her sisters' words.

"Even if I am, even if I think this is mad, I know it would be better to do it in broad daylight than to sneak off like a thief in the night." Lady Mary argues.

Billy sighs and then looks at Sybil as her resolve is waning. She looks up at him and Emma knows Lady Mary has won.

Billy can see this as well. "Go back with them, then. If you think they can make you happier than I will."

"Am I so weak you believe I could be talked out of giving my heart in five minutes flat? But Mary's right. I don't like deceit and our parents don't deserve it. So, I'll go back with them. Believe it or not, I will stay true to you." Sybil kisses his cheek. Lady Edith gets her luggage and Sybil takes one last teary-eyed look at Billy before leaving the room with Lady Edith and Emma.

"I'm sorry," Emma says to her as they descend the stairs.

"I don't blame you," Sybil replies. "But my sisters have got to realise that this is not over."

——

The next morning Emma stands in Thomas' shed with said man and Miss O'Brien. Thomas is covered in some sort of powder; everything that was in the shed has been trashed and slashed with shelves knocked over.

Thomas is pouring out some from a packet. "It's all rubbish. It's all bloody rubbish." He throws it to the floor.

"There must be a way to make this right, for you to get your money back." Emma declares. "Can't you ask for it?"

"Oh, yes. Of course I can ask, and a fat lot of good that'll do." Thomas' sarcastic tone biting.

"You must challenge him." Miss O'Brien insists.

"How? I only ever met him in a pub. I wouldn't know where to find him!" Thomas' voice breaks in the last sentence.

"But, surely—"

"Don't you understand woman!" He suddenly yells and throws more of the stuff causing Miss O'Brien to flinch and Emma to jump. "I've been tricked! Been had! Been taken for the fool I am." Thomas sits down for a smoke.

There's a pause of silence as the two women in the room let him simmer for a moment before Emma hesitantly speaks, "How much did he take from you?"

"Every penny I had. And then some."

"What are you going to do now?" Miss O'Brien asks softly.

"I don't know. I don't bloody know." Thomas admits almost sobbing.

What can he do? Thomas had clearly been scammed and was the one to pay the price.

——

A/N: This is a silly little bit that bothered me but I don't know why when they followed after Sybil, Mary said Sybil was 21 when she would have been 23 at the time this episode is set.

Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

#downton abbey

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thebipolarhoneybee · 2 years

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hey you amazing human you! I hope you are here with love and positivity; you can leave your negative vibes at the door because they are like, totally not needed here! Let me start off with a few assumptions— First one being, we don’t know eachother… so I guess I should introduce myself..? K well that’s easy. My name is Melissa, and well going on the assumption that we don’t know eachother; I’m thirty years old and most likely the most pessimistic optimist in the world. LOL. I am easily what you’d call a writer; someone who genuinely enjoys literature, poetry and the simple act of writing with a royal blue inked pen on a fine crisp piece of paper. Aside from writing, there are few other things I both enjoy and succeed in, I mean if you ask what my interests are in regards to what I am actually capable of….? Oooooor maybe that’s just the clinical depression talking ..? That’s another thing I should probably introduce early on; I am an unbelievably strong advocate for mental health support and ending any stigma that may prevent any kind of healthy mental recovery. Again, another thing I should inform , or introduce is that personally I have [currently] battled with ADHD, Clinical Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and Bipolar 2 Disorder.. (and Cronic Physical Pain ) for the last decade of my life. I have been through it all, when it comes to mental health — I see a psychiatrist, I’ve cried my fair own fair emount of unnessecary tears; ive spent weeks in bed because there was ‘no point’ to get out.. I spent time in the mental ward at Bluewater Health (which im sorry, but was a joke), faking my way through the week stay because I needed right the fuck out of there, and ive spent my time down “medication-change-emotion-spiral alley thinking, this is how my life ends”. I will always fight for mental health both because I truly believe it is a thing ,and simply because not enough people do , and I don’t think that is okay. I am an avid weed smoker, like snoop dogg style and I legitimately could not give a smaller fuck about what anybody thinks about it because—-smoking weed has honestly given me SUCH a life to live back.. A life that I thought only mountains and mountains of drugs would give me. (you know, the other kind of drug) which I've since learned is not necessary. I live in an apartment in the small smelly Sarnia , Ontario with my beautiful sister Carrissa and out overabundance of pets! I, like every other person in this world, have a story to tell. Now, whether you’d like to follow along is your choice, but I have been through my own personal hell and back and I think that I have come a very far distance from where it had all begun. Usually, on a given day— I try to document each of my days in my paper journal, and when I do, i [usually] take a daily picture to go with it. Now, you are more than welcome to an invitation to join and follow my journey into [what is foaled to be] recovery; honestly the more the merrier. Any love and support of any kind that I have received from any body else literally lifts me to such high spirits, and throughout my journey I can’t even explain just how much love I have truly gotten and how many receiving hands and hearts I have had offer their support. All that I ask of /you/ personally is that if you are not here to support, nor do you have nothing positive to bring, that you simply do not be here at all. As we all know, im sure, life is a difficult place for us all, and everyday we all face a different set of challenges that we’ve each woken up to. N O B O D Y needs the added pressure or guilt of the opinion of another who does not support their fellow human, weighing down on them—simply because they are trying to change a shitty hand of cards. SO, I ask you now, if you are here to with any other intention but to support me in a healthy happy way, or quietly read along, you do not have to come back. So Thank You, and Take Care. After that being said, if you are still here— HEY YO! And welcome. Thank you for giving enough of a shit to even get through these first few little blurbs. I’m going to take the time in my first few entries to bring you all up to speed, but first I feel the need to explain my goal behind even documenting this all.. THE overall purpose here is to look back each day, each week, each year..and view my changes [which, I can PROMISE there will be changes] that will hopefully one day adapt to that of a healthy balanced individual. However, along the way I hope to be able to have my story heard, or told— for that somebody who maybe can’t speak theirs, or for that somebody who is going through something similar to what I am, and maybe doesn’t understand, or feels alone, or needs someone to talk to. My purpose here is to change a life. Maybe my own, maybe someone else’s..who knows. Maybe I wil get lucky and hit them both? So come.. Follow alongside my journey and who knows, maybe the bipolar honey bee and you have more in common than you think. I can’t promise it’ll be good, but you can bet your ass that I’ll always have something to say.

Thank you guys,

And much love!

-melissa

#thebipolarhoneybee

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sup-hoes-its-me · 3 years

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Golden (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: you are in a relationship with kakaski, but after an accident, you have amnesia, and can’t remember him anymore. angst baby. Very feminine Civilian!reader (you own a bookstore, so cliche lmao) essentially, this series is mindless romantic indulgences i wrote mostly for myself, but if other people can enjoy them then i did my job as a fanfic writer.

A/N: im definitely not writing a fanfic for every song on fine line...haha

Word count: 5600

_____

He lay awake at night after the incident, imagining the moment he truly knew he was in love with her. Completely infatuated with this beautiful woman working at the bookstore. It was the only thing he could do now that his entire world had come crashing around him. With everything that happened in the hospital, this was the only way he knew how to cope.

He drifted off into the dream once again.

Kakashi stood by the front gates of the village, a paperback book he had just bought in his hand, folded over so he could read with one hand. One more time before he left for this mission, one he knew would last longer than anyone would like, he visited the old bookstore in town. He wanted to think he just stopped by to stock up on reading material, but that wasn’t it.

It was always about her.

When he saw Y/N running up to him, her apron nearly falling off and her hair in disarray, his eyes widened and he set the book down by his side. She was out of breath when she got to him, pressing her hands to her chest to get herself put together. Her brows furrowed deeply as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

“Kakashi,” she exclaimed.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I know you’re going on this long mission and you won’t be around for a few months, and I can’t stand the thought of you leaving without me telling you this,” she said, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t insanely curious what she had to say. She was a sweet village girl, and he frequented her store, quite a bit actually. On occasion, he would drop by a few times in a day just to say hello. He definitely wasn’t slick.

He waited for her to continue and she didn’t hesitate. “Every time you leave, I get this pain in my chest. I worry about you day and night because I know the life of a shinobi is never guaranteed. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you this time, if I kept acting like the coward I am.”

“I see? Well, what’s on your mind?”

“I-I’ve never felt this way for anyone before, and I don’t know how to deal with it, so here goes,” she told him, taking a deep breath before her next words, “I think I’m in love with you, Kakashi Hatake. I think I’ve loved you since the first time you stepped foot in my parents store.”

“I…”

What was he supposed to say to that?

“You don’t have to say anything back. It doesn’t bother me, I know how closed off you ninja are. Just please, take my words and hold them close on your journeys.” She paused, clenching her soft fists by her sides. She wasn’t scared of rejection, not at all. She was only scared that Kakashi might not care about her words at all. “Please, don’t forget someone loves you.”

In that moment, he felt his heart stop beating, only for a second, but he felt it. Shifted awkwardly, not wanting to let off that he was getting even a little emotional at her declaration. He was tough as nails, the copy-nin. Not some lover boy, even if he wanted to be. Even if he wanted to swoop in right then and kiss her to pieces.

All he could say was, “I’ll keep that in my mind. Thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome. Now, don’t fool around out there so you can come back to me in one piece!” she laughed, feeling tears bubbling up in the corners of her eyes.

He found himself smiling back at the young woman. “You got it.”

__________

Kakashi was never really one to express his feelings. Generally, he kept them inside to mourn alone. It was just in his nature, it was nothing personal with the people he knew and trusted. There was just something about Y/N that made him drop down some of those thick barriers.

His girlfriend was a normal woman, working long shifts in the village bookstore since she was a teenager. She never attended the academy, wasn't chakra sensitive, nothing in particular was so outstanding that she was noticed. Nothing on the surface, actually.

It was her smile and her laugh, the way she could make anyone feel like they were important and wanted, that attracted Kakashi to her in the first place. From the first time they met as teenagers in the bookstore aisles, he knew he was caught in some sort of trap. For a minute, he compared the feeling to that of a genjutsu, even though he knew that was far from a possibility.

To him, when she smiled, it felt as if everything was going to be okay. All the pain and suffering disappeared when she was around. He really couldn’t understand how that could be happening, with the world crumbling around him everyday.

That was a particularly rare attribute among ninja folk, whose lives led them to believe that happiness wasn’t achievable and death was common; pain was so normal for him. It was refreshing to have someone around who didn't think like that, that could change the tone of a room in a moment with just an ounce of positive energy. Y/N was innocent to the majority of these harsh realities that the ninja faced, for the most part.

As with most people in the village, her parents lost their lives during the invasion of the nine tails. She was alone for a long time, but despite that, she tried to find joys in reading, in stacking new books on shelves, in talking to unique individuals that would stop by. And as she aged, she realized her most favorite customer was one with a masked face, and a love of gushy, perverted novels.

She was even friends with some of his closest friends, Gai, Yamato, Sakura. She reached out to them, getting visits here and there while she worked during the day. After he informed his closest companions of his blossoming affair with the bookstore girl, they just had to get in an insider view. They kept visiting after the first meetings. Sakura bringing lunch, Yamato helping her with repairs, and Gai just bringing his brightest smile and a boatload of jokes and giggles to share at the front counter.

It was only a matter of time before they fell into some weird friendship, a civilian and one of the top shinobi of their village. He was gone half the time on missions, and sometimes, when he was ANBU, she wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time. Occasionally, when a mission was long and difficult, she would hear pawing at her window late into the night. When she pulled back the blinds, a small dog would be sitting there with a folded piece of paper in his mouth, waiting for her to take it.

She loved those letters, they became her prized possessions. There was nothing else she loved more in the world than seeing his kind words written out on paper, his declarations of love that he would never dare say aloud. To him, it was easier to say those things on paper, to not be around when she read about his feelings for her. He was still attentive and kind to her in person, but the letters spoke with a romanticism that he couldn’t.

Y/N practically glowed when she spoke to him, so in love with him she could barely keep it restrained. He knew this. He knew she was as deeply in love with him as he was entranced with her. It had been 5 years since they started dating, and he prolonged the inevitable path of marriage as long as he could. Having a girlfriend was one thing, but marrying someone felt like a burden he couldn’t shoulder. He wanted to, but it just seemed like too much work, too much risk.

After years, he realized the waiting just wasn’t worth it. They were only getting older as the time went by. She just warmed his empty heart, he knew that was something only she could do for him. He needed that.

And that's why he sat in the comfort of Ichiraku, Sakura by his side, sipping on some soup. She was the only one he truly trusted with this knowledge, the only one who could give him genuine advice. He just needed to tell someone what he was about to do. He sat there, his fingers hovering over his pants pocket, eyes trailed down at the table.

"What did you want to talk about, Sensei?" She had asked.

"You really like Y/N, right? Think she's good for me?"

She smiled with a small nod. "Of course. Y/N is so sweet. She makes you so happy I can tell. I think it's really good for you." It was true. Sakura didn’t know what her sensei was like before he met the woman. That was years ago before she was even born. What she did know is that someone with that much pain seeping from his heart could use some love in his life, a stable shoulder to lean onto. If anyone was stable, it was her. Without any cares in the world other than worrying for her boyfriend and keeping her business afloat. Her trauma was behind her, unlike some of the shinobi that carry those with them for the rest of their lives. Guilt, anger, resentment.

He pulled a tiny, drawstring bag from his pocket and fiddled with the strings between his fingers. "When I was in the Land of Fire last month, I picked this up from a merchant," he explained, pulling open the bag and pouring out the contents. A small ring clicked against the bar table. "Take a look, tell me what you think."

She dropped her spoon and reached over for the ring, holding it gently with the pads of her fingertips. It was beautiful. It sparkled like sunlight hitting clear blue waters. A stone rested in the center, flecks of lavender and blue floating in the sparkly gem. When she turned it in the sunlight, more colors appeared and changed, morphing into something spectacular in every sense of the word.

"Kakashi-sensei, it's gorgeous. Are you going to give this to Y/N?"

"After all this time, it seems inevitable really. Time flies."

"Oh my gosh. I'm so happy for you. She's going to be ecstatic, I just know it. She loves you more than life itself." He liked hearing that reaffirmed for him, even though Y/N frequently told him how she felt, daily ‘I love you’s. Unlike him, those words were not rare, but each time it filled his chest with warmth.

He smiled fondly, watching as she continued to turn to ring in her hands. He never thought this would happen to him: marrying someone. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He didn't want to put that risk on someone, especially Y/N. He had suppressed his feelings for her for a few years before he finally succumbed to the urge to tell her. Finally, after years of longing and avoiding the obvious, she became his, and he was undoubtedly hers.

It was a hard decision. He knew it was wrong to risk it, put her life on the line, but now he felt ridiculous sulking around waiting for something that was never going to happen. Nothing had happened to Y/N yet, and it had been years. She was gonna be fine. He was only being paranoid, he had convinced himself.

"Tonight. I'm going to help her close the store and do it then."

"You're a good man, Kakashi. She’s so lucky to have you protecting her and watching out for her, ya know? You two balance each other out perfectly,” the girl sighed. If only she could find a love like her sensei had with his significant other.

"Thanks, Sakura.”

They finished up their conversation, and he paid the bill for her, feeling so high that a bit of money from his wallet didn't even bother him. It was slightly later than he was supposed to go see her. The bookstore should have already closed by about 10 minutes.

All he could think about on the way there was how she would laugh about him being late, as usual. She would hug him to say hello, like she usually wound, and then give him a kiss on his masked cheek. He would help her quickly reorganize books before pulling out the ring. To him, it wasn't really about her saying yes at all so much as this moment, proposing to the love of his life, meant he could leave his curse behind and be happy for once with someone he cared about. She was his savior, an escape from a mindset so ingrained he couldn't fight it on his own.

But when he walked up to the front of the store. He noticed the lights still on even though she would have shut them off by now. The sign out front still flipped to open. He didn’t think it was too weird at all, he just thought maybe she was waiting for him to come along to finish up.

As he walked in though, he noticed the whole reams of paper strewn across the floor. Piles of books were aggressively thrown from the shelves, scattered around the floor like someone side swept them from the stands. Ink stained the checkout counter where she normally sat, inkwell tipped over the edge and dripped onto the carpet which she took care to keep clean. It was disastrous getting stains out of that carpet, she always said to him.

Most importantly, on some of the papers scattered around, he spotted blood splatter, drips of half dried blood present all the way from her desk to the back door. He felt panic rise up from his stomach all the way to his throat, and his heart raced. It was rare something made him truly terrified, and this was one of those moments.

He searched, god, he scoured that entire building over and over again for the woman. He checked every aisle and under every table. He ran upstairs to her apartment and checked in the few small rooms she had, scared she was cowering in her bathtub or hiding under the bed. He ran to the neighboring stores, asking if they'd heard from her, and received nothing but empty words. He just wanted her to be anywhere that he could find, anywhere but in the arms of someone evil.

His Y/N was gone, and he was hopelessly at the mercy of his curse once again.

______

He wasn't even allowed to go on the search mission for his girlfriend. Instead, Tsunade sent Yamato as well as a few chunin who knew Y/N enough to recognize her but not enough to fail at being objective. Apparently, the copy-nin wasn't in his right mind to go on a mission right now, especially one that was so personal to him. All his missions for the foreseeable future had been cancelled and another jounin was set to replace him. He could only sit back at home, guilt ridden and feeling useless, unable to help, unable to search. He did this to her. He knew that putting his heart into someone else's hands wasn't right, that it would only lead to her suffering but he couldn't listen to his own experience. He didn’t think it could happen to Y/N. he thought he could protect her.

But fate finds a way, it seems.

He trusted Yamato and the others to find her, but it was nothing like going himself. He wanted nothing more than to see the men who stole her away taught a lesson for what they had done. He wanted to cradle her in his arms and kiss her head, and promise something like this would never happen again. At least, that’s what he wanted to do. He didn’t know how he would react in the moment, despite developing quite good self-control over the years. How could he contain himself when the perpetrators caused his beautiful girl to bleed, and no doubt suffer?

Sakura felt the worst for Kakashi, knowing what she knew. She could imagine him heading to propose to his little girlfriend whom he loved more than anything in the entire world, and see only her blood splattered across the room and endless signs of a brutal struggle. Not to mention no one had a clue why they stole her or what was happening where no one else could see. The medical nin nearly shed a couple tears when Kakashi rushed into the Hokage's office without announcement, proclaiming that his girlfriend was gone, kidnapped from her own store where she worked alone all day.

Tsunade, despite barely knowing the girl, knew it was important; for anyone to be stolen from their village was serious enough. Although she felt for Kakashi, she had to keep him calm while she worked on finding the subject of his affection. She sent out teams immediately, and stressed that Kakashi was to remain in the village until everything was resolved one way or another. She didn't want any accidents because of a reckless, emotionally compromised shinobi faltering.

It only took the teams a single day to find their target.

Shikamaru and Choji were the ones to come back first, and in the larger boy's arms rested the limp, unconscious body of a missing woman. Ever so gently, he had her head tucked away against his chest the entire way home, trying his best not to hurt her anymore. Even if she was unconscious, he wanted to respect the body. From the moments they spoke before, she seemed like the nicest girl. He felt awful. She wasn’t the one putting her life on the line, she was the one that shinobi were supposed to protect. And they failed her.

When they walked through the gates of the village, Kakashi was already rushing up to the gates waiting for their arrival. He caught up to the boys and reached out to take her body from his arms, just to cradle her against him. It was the least that he could do was take her to the infirmary. To feel her faint heart beating against his chest. He was surprised when one of the chunin sadly shook his head.

"Kakashi, she's alive, but trust me, you don't want to see what they did to her," Shikamaru warned, and Choji flinched, just thinking about what her poor face looked like when they found her. Shikamaru knew for a fact that if his girlfriend was ever handed off to him looking so pitiful, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He didn’t want the same to befall on his sensei. "Just trust me, I cannot let you see it, for your sake. Let Choji bring her to Tsunade."

He felt a burning in his stomach, pain creeping up in his abdomen like he was going to throw up all over the dirt path they stood on, but he did his best to remain calm despite the mix of emotions running through his head. He watched as the Akimichi carried her quickly off to the hospital. Kakashi didn't miss though, the blood stains on his tunic surrounding the area where her head was resting, circling her face. She had bled a lot in her time away, he realized.

God, he felt sick. So fucking nauseous.

"What happened?" he breathed heavily, words slipping through.

"Apparently, the guy had a grudge against your clan for something your father did to his family. Killed a criminal brother or some shit. When he heard wind of your girlfriend he knew he would take his revenge. Didn't want ransom, fame, nothing, just to torment you and torture her. Disgusting bastard."

There was one thing he wanted to know on top of his worry about her condition. He’d been thinking about it for the entire day she was missing. Obsessing even.

"What did you do with the man?" He hoped that justice had been served, and he couldn't imagine the two boys doing anything less.

"A man that would do that to a woman doesn't deserve his life," he muttered, his eyes trailed off to the village, “I made it painful.”

Kakashi nodded to him, and together they stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity.

“Sensei?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

____________

When he got to the hospital, Choji was directly quickly to a special unit with particularly fancy machines around the room. Sakura was standing beside her own mentor awaiting the arrival of her friend. The moment she finally saw Y/N's exposed face, she cried. Tears fell from her eyes and she leant over the hospital bed to get a look at all her wounds. She looked alien, and the amount of blood that stained her hairline and cheeks was thick and heavy. Choji had tried to wipe it off, but he just couldn’t get it all.

"Y/N! Oh my God, what did they do to you?" She cried, running her hands shakily over the contusions and the cuts and the bulging areas near her temples. Her body was no better but her face is what hurt Sakura the most. It was hard to believe that all the life had been drained from her body after this one incident.

The light had left her body. Her familiar glow emanating from her soft skin was missing. She looked cold and dead. For the first time, Sakura saw her without her smile, without any bit of optimism. It felt like she was staring at an empty shell of the woman she knew.

"Sakura, get the IV ready. I need to get to work."

And so she did what she does best. Healers at work in their element fixing broken bones, burst capillaries in her head, torn skin. Everything they could. It took hours, and her face still wasn't completely healed in the end, just less swollen. She still had some bumps and bruises but those weren't going to be so bad. They could heal by themselves with a few days of rest and care.

She would be okay, they decided after a while of treatment, and moved her into a normal hospital room, under watch of nurses every so often, no visitors allowed either. Not for the first few days, much to Kakashi's displeasure. He was really getting irritated with the way everyone was keeping him from seeing her. Shouldn’t he be allowed? Essentially, the only family she had left? In reality though, he was scared.

But did he even want to see her again? He loved her, would do anything in the world for her. If only he had the guts to just give up on her and let her meet a normal man from the village, let her marry him and just forget all about their relationship. Then, nothing like this would ever happen again. She would be safer without having connections with him. He was so upset with himself for letting this happen.

He hated himself. It had been a long time since he genuinely thought those words. He hated himself more than anyone else. He let this happen, he was to blame for all this mess. A monster.

He headed back to his apartment that night and stared over at her tiny pile of belongings in the corner, ones she had left over his place as time went on. They still didn't live together so it wouldn't be the worst thing if he broke up with her. She would be hurt, probably cry for a few days, a week, maybe a month. He didn’t know. All he knew was that a little bit of crying was a lot better than getting fatally injured.

Just return her belongings in a box, and never go back to that fucking bookshop where he fell in love with her. He could get his novels directly from Jiraiya if he wanted them.

Tsunade already told him it would be days before he would be allowed to see her again, something about the healing process and that her chakra wasn't enough to fix everything. Based on what Shikamaru had told him, the way he acted- it must have been pretty bad. He couldn't even imagine her face beaten and broken.

All he knew was that in 2 days, he would be allowed to see her again, to possibly talk to her and apologize for what he had caused. It was the least he could do. At this point he couldn't imagine giving her that ring. How could she accept when he was the reason she was abducted and tortured?

He barely slept that night, but it didn't matter. He didn't have anything to do. He was given time off work until everything was resolved. He wondered if it would have been better to have a mission and forget all about the situation for even a couple fleeting moments.

He was just so tired of these feelings. He felt suffocated, and unlike himself. He was finding it hard to be cool, calm, and collected like usual. He just felt terrible. Too terrible to eat, too terrible to sleep, too terrible to do anything but stare up at the ceiling and wonder what could have been.

______

It was time to head to the hospital and see her. Yamato had come to his apartment so they could go and see Y/N. Tsunade gave him the green light first thing that morning when he reported to her. The wood style ninja wanted to see her as well, just to say he was happy she was recovering and even tell her that next time she needed help, if Kakashi wasn't around, to run to his apartment. He would always open his arms to help. So many shinobi of the village, after this incident, would be willing to drop everything and help. Her bookstore would probably always have eyes on it from now on.

Word travelled fast between the shinobi and soon enough almost everyone was giving Kakashi sympathetic looks, patting him on the back and apologizing to him for something they knew nothing about. He just wanted to get to her and say sorry for everything he had done. For not being there sooner, for his father and his clan causing this whole thing. He just needed to see her face. He couldn't get her out of his head.

Sakura was standing outside the room when he arrived. She was biting on her nails, which was oddly uncharacteristic of her. She rarely got nervous enough for habits like that to arise. She was normally so confident. That was the first of the red flags.

"Kakashi-sensei, Yamato. You're here to see Y/N, aren't you?" she asked, her voice quiet and hesitant.

She let him Yamato walk past her into the room but she raised her hand before Kakashi could walk in. She gave him one of the most sorry, pitiful looks he had ever seen, and her lip was quivering just a bit. It was barely noticeable but Kakashi was talented at noting the smallest things.

"Kakashi, I'm really sorry about everything. Lady Tsunade did everything she could. When you go in there, just please don't get upset. It's not as bad as you think. I'll explain everything later, but I want to see how she reacts to seeing you first," she bit out, her words mending together awkwardly.

He figured she was just nervous about her condition or maybe she was still bruised and bandaged up. If she was in a full body cast, he wouldn’t care. As long as he could see her. He couldn’t understand why Sakura was so worried. She would still be beautiful to him. She could never lose that shine that she carried regardless of her external features.

"Hmm. I'm sure it will be fine."

"I'm serious. Don't get upset and alarm her, it's very important you be careful."

"Gotcha."

She watched as he walked past her into the white room, sunlight leaking onto her bedside. The woman was fond of staring out the window since she woke, comforted by the familiarity of the village and the birds that flew by. That was the one thing she needed. Comfort.

Yamato sat at her bedside, and she seemed to be talking to him quietly. Her brows were furrowed deeply and she seemed strained, thoughts running through her brain.

"Kakashi-" the man began to say, desperate to say anything to his friend before the inevitable, but was interrupted.

"Y/N, I was so worried about you," he said, words tumbling out before he could even think. He just had so much to say. He continued, "I need to apologize for what happened. I know I should have been at the shop earlier to help you close, I just got caught up in something. It was my family's fault for your kidnapping. I cannot believe I dropped my guard and let this happen to you, baby-"

She looked at him, but without an ounce of the fondness he was so used to. Instead, his girlfriend just looked confused.

"I… I'm sorry but, Sir, do I know you?"

No.

Not this.

He pleaded in his head that this was not happening. That somehow he had misheard.

"It's me, Kakashi,” he replied softly, almost pleading for her to say something else.

She smiled sympathetically, peering up at him with a little glimmer of that kindness he knew in her eyes. He could tell she was confused, and he began to feel his heart break. "Uh, I'm so sorry but I don't remember you. We're we friends or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say something like that,” he muttered, his eyes turned to stare at the white tiles beneath his feet.He couldn’t look at her anymore.

"Yamato, you're friends with Kakashi-san, too?" She asked the brunette at her bedside, sitting in a chair wiping his sweaty palms on the thighs of his pants. He felt himself becoming nervous, especially when he felt Kakashi watching him. Why did she have to ask him that question? Why did she have to address him by his name so casually? He could feel Kakashi begin to bubble up emotions he hadn’t felt from him before.

"Yes. We are all very close friends, Y/N. You were closest with Kakashi actually."

"Then how come I can’t remember any of you?"

"I don't know." He felt fear creeping up his neck, Kakashi overwhelming his senses. The grey haired man just stood there, his eye flickering between the love of his life and his friend who apparently her brain thought was more important than him. Did he not look friendly enough to talk to? Was Yamato more inviting than he was, was that why she stopped talking to him? “I really wish I could help you there,” he mumbled.

She turned back to Kakashi and smiled, but it wasn't the one he knew from her. It was different. He hated it. He didn't even want to look at her anymore.

"I hope I remember you soon, or I'll just have to get to know you again, Kakashi-san," she chirped, reaching out to touch his hand which rested on the edge of her bed. The reaction he had was immediate and almost startling. The second her hand touched his, her warmth pressed to his cold fingers, he yanked his hand away and shoved it into his pocket.

He didn't want her to touch him. He didn't want anything other than to leave. Fuck getting to know him again. That wasn't an option.

"I need to go. I've got a mission I need to prepare for."

"Okay! Goodluck out there," she called to him as he turned on his heel to leave. He grit his teeth, feeling another wave of emotion overtake him. As he stepped outside the door, Sakura was still waiting there for him, her arms crossed over her chest sheepishly.

"Will she ever remember me again?" He asked simply.

"I don't know. She's got retrograde amnesia which can sometimes be permanent depending on the damage done to the brain. We couldn't fix it, no matter how much we tried. She doesn't remember me either. She doesn't remember Gai or Naruto or even Tsunade. She only remembers the village and a few bits and pieces that she can associate with it. Of course she remembers her name and her bookstore, but specific people and memories are essentially gone for now."

"So she's lost to us?"

"She can still get her memories back, but it will take time," she explained. "Sensei, I'm so sorry. None of us wished anything like this on you. I told Tsunade about the ring you were going to give her and the proposal, and we mourned for you. I'm so sorry." She felt so bad, and they did cry for him. They cried for the girl who got to keep her life but lost her soul.

"I have to get back to my apartment and clean up a few things," he dismissed, turning his head away from his student as well. He felt his heart clench in his chest as he walked away. The ring still sat deep in his pants pocket and he wanted nothing more than to throw it in the river.

He wished he was the one who forgot everything. Maybe this pain in his heart would subside. Maybe all the guilt would be washed away once and for all.

Part Two and Three are out.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #naruto x reader #kakashi oneshot #kakashi fanfic #naruto one shot #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi imagine #naruto imagine #fluff #angst #the reader is a vert sweet and feminine girl and i hope that doesnt offend anyone

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

Text

30 Days of Manifesting the Mental State (Part 1)

Guidelines:

- Focus on manifesting the mental state of who I desire to be

- Let the external world be, the internal world has all my focus

Why?

I was inspired by this short post:

Decide to Manifest the Mental State

My goal with this was to manifest my ideal mental state in regards to whatever I deem important to me, so this was a heavily self concept based challenge. Compared to the challenges I did in the past, where I was interested in physical manifestations.

Reflection:

Y’all, if you feel like you’ve done all you can do and you’re stuck, try this challenge. lmao You will be fucking read to filth. And it’s the best thing ever.

During the first week, I really got shown myself. Before this challenge I thought I was good with not taking the 3D too seriously. By implementing this challenge, I realized how much I actually paid attention to it for validation. Given this challenge is all about manifesting the mindset, I could no longer use the 3D an excuse for why I’m upset or wonder why I see no changes. Because I only had one job and that’s to manifest the mindset, no matter what the 3D shows. I often would remind myself, “I need to conform to myself first.” This helped me to stay on track during the first week.

Plus, I realized, once again I was slacking on everyone is you pushed out as a concept. It really was difficult for me to take responsibility for others. But thanks to this challenge, I couldn’t put this concept on the backburner anymore. And I know if I want the people in my world to change for the better, I must change for the better within first. Once again, “I need to conform to myself first” was such a solid reminder. How could I look at the 3D in disappointment, when I hadn’t even conformed to myself first? This is still a work in progress, but it’s at the forefront of my mind now instead of an afterthought.

After about the first week, things got easier. I read a couple posts that really clicked for me and it honestly became chill af after that. Things started moving more in my life. It’s honestly so weird how the law works. This shit really is subtle as hell, it’s so natural when your world starts conforming you barely even notice. There’s so many things that happen in a day that align with my new conception of self and it’s difficult to remember them all.

But basically, I moved into an entirely new state. Like, things just are not the same for me mentally or with the way I feel. Like... how do I explain this? Basically, my desired self concept has become so natural... a lot of my state of lack habits have disappeared. And I didn’t even expect that to happen. Like, getting worked up about how long it’s been... wondering if I did something wrong... like all of that just vanished. I feel extremely... fulfilled and satisfied. I actually know I did everything I could do. So what else is there to do? I don’t feel the need to search for more anymore. I truly feel satisfied with my mental efforts. I have done my best, now all that is left to be done is to live and allow life to do it’s thing, really.

On the final week, I hit a wall. It was like I simply could not shake the anxiety. Each day I was thankful it came to an end, hoping for a more pleasant following day... that didn’t come. The emotional rollercoaster! I would go from “it’s okay, I don’t need to analyze how I’m feeling” to “okay, wtf is going on????” I was a mess, but as always, I persisted. I know there’s mixed opinions on this, but from my experience I definitely have moments where my mind is purging the old story. And it’s difficult as fuck. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t exist because someone out there might be going through the same. I want y’all to know, we can make it through to the other side.

During those days, I had these moments where I can actually feel myself as God? And it’s not this super powerful feeling. It’s been more... calm and peaceful. Like I just know I am taken care of. Honestly, it usually only lasts in glimpses. But that’s okay. Because I know I am just uncovering that part of me more and more. It’s actually so exciting.

From experience, I know every dip like this on my journey has lead to more mental and emotional freedom. So even though in the moment it feels like absolute meaningless torture, I know it makes sense and it’s happening for a good reason.

But this is where I left off. The challenge ended before I was able to make it through the low moment. So now, I am just going to revamp this challenge with a part 2, with everything I have learned about myself from it.

Best Self Concept Manifestations:

- I have felt more fulfilled than I ever have in my life. And I did that on my own. Pretty fucking great.

- The main theme on my journey has continued to improve: love. People LOVE me. Like they LOVE me lmao. I constantly get compliments on not only my appearance but also my character and who I am as a person. My ideal life is entirely in view, I can see the destination now.

- Not needing to constantly read about the law anymore. This is my favorite, because I love the law. lol So, when I deleted Reddit and actually had weeks pass where I didn’t feel the need to redownload it, it was like wow. I know everything I need to know. There’s nothing else to read. I have my comfort/motivation posts, and I would go back to those time to time. But I have very little interest in the search for “new” information now. There’s nothing else to learn, there’s only concepts to apply.

- Despite the downward spiral, I can say I have definitely seen improvement in my bounce back from the 3D circumstances overall. I have my moments, of course, but overall it’s definitely become easier for me to remember this world is malleable and nothing is set in stone.

- Kdramas. LOL I always end up watching one that aligns with my journey, which is cool af. I started “When the Camellia Blooms” while on this challenge and it was funny because my sister watched in months ago. And she was like, “Dongbaek (the female lead) is the character I said you remind me of.” Which was such a huge compliment. She’s literally what I strive to be? Loved for no reason other than existing and super pretty. LMAO She’s simply adored and unforgettable, simply because she is. That was such a boost to my work on my self concept. It may not sound like the best manifestation ever but for me it was motivation to keep persisting. If I can see it, I can have it. Period.

Conclusion:

This isn’t over yet. I am moving into part 2 of this challenge as we speak, which will be similar but with a more precise focus. So in conclusion, all I can say is try it for yourself. It’s definitely worth it.

Resources That Inspired Me the Most During this Challenge:

Nothing Outside Will Help You Change Your Mind

Dissolving Fears to Manifest Effortlessly

Self Concept, Self Love, and States

Hug Your Inner World Tight

#journey

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fallingforunrealisticromance · 3 years

Text

Stay with me - tony stark x fem!reader

A/N: I've re entered my marvel phase once again and I'm not mad about it! I'm so desperate to see Black Widow it looks so good! Anyway enjoy this. The details about panic attacks are based on my personal experiences but they can effect different people in different ways.

Warnings: Panic attacks, swearing

***= Time Skip

Word Count: 2680

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Guys I’m going to be fine. I always am. It was a one-time thing, I promise” I sighed as Nat, Steve and Bruce followed me into the kitchen of the avengers compound.

“We just want you to be okay, it didn’t exactly look like you enjoyed the experience.” Nat said sitting opposite me.

“You almost passed out. That happening while your out is the last thing any of us want for you.” Bruce added. I sipped my drink, not wanting to continue this conversation. The team had becoming increasingly cautious around me since I had a really bad panic attack last week. The truth is I’ve been dealing with them since I was a kid, before I’d even met any of the avengers, I just learnt how to hide them. But last week, things got too much, and I lost control. I don’t remember much but evidently everyone found out. They thought this was a new thing to me and were now trying to wrap me up like some sort of fragile object.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to be with Casey, and I’m literally just going to be sat in an office all day. The hardest thing I will have to do is battle her shitty coffee machine” I joked, trying to get them to drop the subject. My best friend Casey had asked me to come into work with her to sort through a bunch of files that her boss had dumped on her after she broke up with him. I have no clue what she actual does but she was apparently ‘up to her tits’ in paperwork so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to join her. Just then my phone rang.

“Hey Case, I’m just about to leave. Yeah I’ll meet you at the station. Okay cool. Bye” I hung up and grabbed my bag. “Well, this has been fun, but I have a train to catch so I’ll see you all later.” As I turned to leave I felt someone grab my arm, pulling me back.

“You’re not getting the train. Get happy to take you.” Steve said causing me to roll my eyes.

“Steve I’m not a child, I’m capable of getting a train. Plus, it’s not Happy’s job to chauffeur me around, he has tony for that.” I replied.

“Who has me for what?” Tony piped up walking in.

“Nothing, I have to go.” I said before once again turning to leave.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y call happy and tell him to get the car ready.” Tony said not looking up from his phone.

“Right away Mr Stark”

I groaned. “Are you kidding me?”

“Hey for once I agree with capsicle. We don’t need you dying on a train now do we?”

“I hate you.”

“Ouch my heart.”

It was starting to piss me off at how the were treating me. I get that they just wanted to look out for me, but it was just making me feel even more pathetic than I already did. I slumped down onto the sofa irritated. Suddenly I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Looking up I saw Nat leaning again the back of the sofa, looking down at me.

“I know it might feel like we’re being unfair or irrational, but we just want you to be safe. We need you.” I smiled slightly at her words.

“Thanks Nat.” She nodded at me before walking off.

“Miss Y/L/N. Happy is ready for you.”

“Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y” I grabbed my stuff, yelling a quick goodbye to everyone before making my way downstairs and into the back of the black Mercedes parked outside the compound.

*******************************************************************

“Seriously did you have to dump him 2 weeks before you were due to leave? There’s so much crap here.” I groaned jokingly, sifting through the many papers laid out in front of me.

“It’s not my fault he was boring. I just couldn’t hack it anymore” Casey replied chuckling.

“Why did I agree to this?” I said leaning back in my chair.

“Because you love and care about me.” She said smiling at me

“Hmm that’s debatable.” I joked, causing her to swat my arm with the file she was holding. Thankfully, there was a small knock at the door that saved me from any further attacks.

“Excuse me Casey, boss man needs you in his office. He didn’t sound too happy.”

“Okay thanks, I’ll come now.” She replied. As she left the room she shot me an anxious look to which I responded a very supportive thumbs up. I know, I’m great.

*******************************************************************

I don’t know how long Casey had been gone but I’d suddenly began to feel a trickle of anxiety wash through my bones. I’d felt uneasy as soon as she’d left but I tried to push the feeling away and throw myself back into the paperwork. But every time I looked at the page, my eyes couldn’t focus. All the words were merging together in front of me.

“Please not now.” I mumbled to myself. I could feel my heart hammering a mile a minute against my ribcage as my hands began to shake uncontrollably. My throat felt as if it was collapsing in on itself as I tried my best to get oxygen into my lungs. I wanted to get up, to run outside, but I felt like if I moved I was going to be sick everywhere. So, I stayed there, trapped, with my head in my hands praying for this to be over. After what felt like a lifetime, the feeling began to dissipate – only to be replaced with an overwhelming sense of tiredness. Physically unable to hold myself up any longer, I let my head fall against the desk. I felt so drained, so weak I wasn’t sure how I would get home at this point. Where the hell was Casey?

---AT THE AVENGERS COMPOUND(third person pov)---

“Mr Stark. You told me to alert you when Miss Y/L/N’s heart rate began to climb. It has rapidly increased over the past few minutes and does not appear to be settling” F.R.I.D.A.Y said. Tony rushed over to the screen that was currently displaying Y/N’s heart rate.

“Oh shit.” He said to himself, running his fingers through his hair. A moment later, Steve entered the lab.

“Everything alright stark?” He asked leaning against one of the desks.

“Not at all. Y/N’s having another panic attack right now.” Tony explained, visibly stressed.

“What?” Steve said standing up straight.

“I have to go get her.” Tony said pulling his jacket on. Before Steve could even reply, Tony headed for the door.

---BACK AT THE OFFICE(first person pov)---

I’d been able to prop my head up in my hands once again, but I was barely able to keep my eyes open. All I wanted was to go home. Suddenly I heard the door open.

“Oh my god Y/N. What happened? Are you okay?” Casey said rushing to my side, clearly noticing my dilemma.

“N-no” I stuttered. My voice came out as a sort of broken whisper. I’d never felt more drained. I heard the door open once more.

“Casey?-“

“Not now, I’m busy”

“No seriously-“

“Did you not hear me? Go away john”

“But Tony stark is looking for you.” He spat out. Relief spread throughout me at the mention of his name. Casey jumped up and ran out, soon retuning with Tony.

“Thank god” I breathed. Tony knelt down beside me in an instant.

“Hey you.” He said softly. “Let’s get you home okay?” He smiled at me sympathetically. I nodded and went to reach for my stuff.

“I’ll get that, put your jacket on.”

“Didn’t bring one.” I mumbled.

“Of course, you didn’t” He said sarcastically as he pulled his off and wrapped it around my shoulders. I slipped my arms in and hugged it tight to me, enjoying the heat it was providing.

“Come on then.” I felt Tony slip his arm around my waist as he pulled me to my feet. I wrapped one of my arms around his shoulders as the other fell by my side. “You okay?” He asked.

“Just get me home.” I whispered.

“Why do you think I’m here?” He joked. We made our way down the hall, tony taking the most of my weight.

“Thank you for coming.” I said as we got into the elevator.

“Anytime gorgeous.” He replied with his signature grin.

“How come you are here though? How did you know I needed you?” I asked.

“I have a sixth sense. Like peter, expect I sense panic attacks” he said chuckling.

“Seriously tony. I didn’t even call you.” I pressed. He fidgeted uncomfortably next to me.

“Okay don’t be mad at me. Because if you think about it if I hadn’t done it I wouldn’t have known you were freaking out and you’d probably still be stuck there, and I know that that’s the last thing you would want so technically I-“

“Just spit it out stark”

“I tracked you.”

I starred at him. “You tracked me?” He nodded sheepishly. “Wha- How?” I stuttered.

“You know I gave you that new watch? Well, I may have changed some things” He said avoiding my eyes.

“What things?”

“Well, I just made sure it would be able to give me your location. A-and if your heartrate reached a certain point, F.R.I.D.A.Y would let me know.” He explained. I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t even mad, but I like the fact he thought I was. “Look before you have a go at me I just wanted to keep you safe.” I smiled at his words.

“I know. I’m not mad.”

“Oh, thank god.”

********************************************************************

The journey home was harmless. The fresh air had done me the world of good. Even those I was still worn out; I was feeling a lot more human. When we pulled up to the compound, Tony rushed to my side to open the door and help me stand.

“I’m okay tony you can relax now” I chuckled.

“I just don’t need you passing out on my watch, Steve won’t let me hear the end of it” He joked.

“Nice to know you care about me.” I replied. As soon as we walked in, I saw Steve talking anxiously with Nat and Wanda.

“Y/N thank god.” Nat rushed over to me, pulling me in for a hug.

“I’m alive guys false alarm.” I said light-heartedly, letting her go.

“Do you know why this keeps happening to you all of a sudden?” Wanda asked. Before I could answer she gasped slightly. “Oh…” Shit. I forgot she could read minds. She’d figured it out.

“What is it Wanda?” Steve asked. Wanda starred at me for a moment. I really didn’t know if she was going to tell them so I cut her off before she could.

“Casey was having an affair with her boss.” I blurted out, causing them all to look at me. “That’s why I went in with her today, she broke up with him and to get back at her he’s been giving her a shit ton of paperwork for no reason. While I was there he called her into his office, leaving me alone. I guess I was just so stressed about what they were talking about I worked myself up.” I lied. Wanda nodded in agreement with me, but the look she gave me made me think that this conversation definitely wasn’t over.

“Okay well I’m going to get this one into bed, see you guys later” Tony said coming up behind me, placing his hand on my back. We made our way up to my room where I promptly flopped onto my bed, gladly expecting the comfort it provided.

“Nope come on get up.” Tony said tugging my leg.

“What? I thought we came up here so I could sleep? I’ve had a long day tony.” I groaned.

“Yes but you need to change. I’m not having you sleep in jeans. The thought of it alone is enough to give me nightmares.” He replied, pulling me so I was sitting upright. “You stay there, don’t fall asleep.” He said before quickly dashing out of the room. I sighed, leaning back on my elbows. Tony was my best friend, sure, but that didn’t stop him being a massive pain in the arse. He soon returned, holding what looked like pyjamas.

“Why have you brought those? I have my own clothes you know.” “No shit sherlock. But I know that you like to wear these when your ill so I figured you might want some comfort after what happened today.” He said setting them down beside me. His words caused me to stare at him for a second. The genuine care in his voice was enough to make my stomach flip. The fact that he’d even thought of something like that caused a few tears to come to the surface.

“Stop starring at me, it’s creepy” He said with a chuckle. When he looked over at me, his face dropped. “Y/N? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” He knelt down in front of me, taking my hand in his.

“I just- Thank you. For the clothes. The fact that you noticed that means the world to me.” I said softly, gazing at our hands.

“I always notice” He mumbled. I looked at him fondly, a strange feeling growing inside of me. We settled in a comfortable silence for a moment. For some reason, my view on tony shifted. That one gestured made my entire opinion of him change. I’d always known I cared for him deeply, more so than myself. And I won’t sit here and tell you I’ve been in love with him since I first met him, because that sure as hell isn’t the case. We’d been friends. Nothing more, nothing less. But now, seeing this side of him, maybe there was a possibility for us to be something more. Whatever that was we didn’t need to figure out right now. But I wanted him with me.

“I’ll leave you to get changed.” His voice snapped me from my thoughts as he dropped my hand from his.

“No, wait don’t go.” I said hurriedly going to pull him back.

“I’ll just be on the other side of the door.” He chuckled. I let him go and went about changing. He’d left me one of his old Metallica t shirts. It wasn’t too big for me, but big enough to be comfortable. I paired with a pair of basketball shorts I’d bought him a couple years ago for Christmas. Not that he actually played basketball, I just thought they were cool. I went over to the door and opened it, not expecting tony to fall back onto my feet. I laughed as he scrambled to stand up right.

“You could’ve knocked or something.” He said straightening his shirt.

“I didn’t expect you to be on the floor” I laughed.

“Whatever” He rolled his eyes, sitting at the edge of my bed. Once I’d calmed myself down, I sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He moved so his arm was round my shoulder, allowing me to move closer.

“I like this.” I said softly.

“Like what?” “

This. Being with you.”

“So do I” He whispered.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence.

“No, you’re not falling asleep like this. Lie down” Tony said shrugging me off his shoulder. I didn’t even have the effort to argue as I slid back and pulled the covers over me.

“You’re coming to.” I stated, looking expectantly at him. He rolled his eyes before climbing in beside me. I curled into him, placing my head on his chest as I wrapped my arms around him. I felt him place his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. After the shit show I’d been through earlier, this was the exact peace I’d been craving. No matter where things went from here, Tony would always be my rock. And I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

#tony stank #tony stark #iron man #the avengers #natasha romanoff #tony x y/n #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #tony x reader

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onlyfreds · 3 years

Text

Blue Skies and Calm Waves | F.W.

Title: Blue Skies and Calm Waves

Requested: Yes/No

Summary: Fred and Y/N return to the beach where they first confessed their feelings. Fred will be trying his luck at something else.

Warning/s: alludes to sex, mention of crashing a car into a tree

A/N: This is basically part 2 for “Sand and Sea” because I couldn’t help myself

Part 1

“Well, with the holidays coming up, why don’t we go to the beach?” Ginny suggested as all of us nodded in agreement.

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Hermione said, “It’s been a while since we last went to the beach.”

“Is it the same beach we went to last time?” Fred asked, he and Ginny exchanging a look I couldn’t exactly read.

“Yep.” The youngest Weasley confirmed, “The exact same one.” She said, giving a subtle wink to her brother.

“So, when are we leaving?” George asked, clasping his hands together.

Ginny smiled, “The best time to go would be next week.”

“Is that everything we need?” I ask as Fred and I finish packing our stuff for the trip.

Fred nodded, “Yes, that’s everything.” Then he wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing his chest against my back, “Unless I can also stuff you into the suitcase.” He joked as I smacked his arm.

“Hey, just because you’re taller than me, doesn’t mean I’m that tiny.” I said.

I glanced at the clock that was in our room, we needed to be at the Burrow in ten minutes.

“Freddie,” I said, stepping out of his grasp, “as much as I want to keep on cuddling with you, we need to be at the Burrow in ten or else your sister will never let us hear the end of it.”

He pouted, “Fine.”

We then took our bags and immediately apparated to the Burrow.

“Thank goodness!” Ginny breathed a sigh of relief as she engulfed Fred and I into a hug, “I thought you two were going to be late.”

Fred chuckled, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world sis.”

“What are we waiting for then?” George asked, “Let’s go!”

As the boys loaded the bags into the Ford Anglia we were taking, Hermione asked, “Who’s driving?”

Ginny smiled as she threw the keys at me, “Y/N is! She’s the only one I can trust who won’t crash the car into a tree.”

I laughed, “Wow, thanks Gin!”

I then climbed into the driver’s seat, the rest of the group following suit, Fred sitting next to me.

Fred held my free hand the whole journey, rubbing his thumb along the back.

The beach was a bit far from the Burrow so it was a long hour drive.

It was around late afternoon, George and Ginny were debating about the latter’s latest Quidditch match, Hermione was reading a new book that she got while Ron and Harry were both asleep.

I noticed that Fred was a bit quieter than usual, I managed a quick glance at him, “Hey Freddie, is there anything wrong? You seem quiet.” I asked.

He shook his head, offering a reassuring smile, “Everything’s fine Princess.”

“You sure?” I said.

He nodded, leaning slightly and pressing a kiss on my cheek, “Positive.”

After few more long hours later, we arrived at the beach and were able to get settled into our rooms.

“You know what I just realized?” I said, as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

“What?” Fred asked, coming out of the kitchen.

I smiled, “This was the exact same room we slept in the last time we were here.”

His eyes widened before checking our hotel card, “You’re right.” He said with a small chuckle.

“Funny.” He said with a small smirk, resting his hands on the space by my side, trapping me in. “Since we are at the exact same beach where we first got together and we’re staying at the exact same room where we had to deal with the ‘one bed’ situation.”

I giggled, looking right into his eyes, “Yeah, I wonder if Ginny had anything to do with this.”

He licked his lips, “Who knows? Maybe Ginny isn’t the only one.” He said before leaning forward and capturing my lips into a hot kiss.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, laying back down onto the bed, bringing him down with me.

“Oh, you’re so in for it sweetheart.” He whispered as he trailed kisses down my neck, sucking on my sweet spot, “You might not be able to walk tomorrow once I’ve had my way with you.”

“Oh Merlin.” I groaned as I rubbed the remaining sleep out of my eyes, my body feeling a tad bit sore after last night’s adventure.

“Tired you out, didn’t I?” Fred asked, his morning voice laced with a bit of smugness as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest.

“Hm, A perfect ten out of ten.” I mumbled, burying my head into the crook of his neck.

He hummed, his fingers trailing down from my arms to my waist, “Ten out of ten? You always say that.”

I giggled, “That’s because you always manage to reach that and more.”

After cuddling for a bit longer, we went down to meet the others for breakfast.

The whole time we were walking, I was being careful with my legs and may or may not have a small limp in my step. To which Fred just smirked smugly at.

“Morning guys.” Fred and I greeted as we joined them at the table.

“Are you okay Y/N?” Hermione asked, looking a bit concerned.

Fred grinned, “She’s fine ‘Mione, she just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

George groaned, “That’s it, I don’t want to hear the rest of that story.”

The group bursted out into laughter, feeling my cheeks grow hot as I buried my head into Fred’s shoulder out of embarrassment.

After having breakfast and changing into our swimwear, we then headed down to the beach to go swimming.

Fred wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, “You look absolutely sexy love.”

Ginny smacked Fred on the shoulder, “Hey! We came here to have fun. Not for you to seduce Y/N every single minute.”

She then looped her arm around mine, pulling me out of her brother’s gasp, “Now come on, let’s get away from that idiot.” She said with a small smile while George, Ron and Harry were laughing so hard as Fred glared daggers at them.

Ginny, Hermione and I were sitting in the sand, building a sand castle while the boys chased each other around in the water.

“So,” The youngest Weasley said, giving me a mischievous smile.

I looked at her, a bit confused, “So, what?”

She and Hermione exchanged silent message as the latter said, “Well, it’s been years since you and Fred first confessed your feelings, so, why not tie the knot already?”

I giggled, looking down, trying to hide a small smile, “Well, Fred hasn’t exactly proposed yet.”

“But, if he did, would you say ‘yes’?” Ginny asked.

‘Of course, I would.” I answered without hesitation, “Being with Fred has been the happiest memories of my life. I couldn’t imagine a future without him in it.”

I then raised a brow at the both of them, “Why suddenly the talk about a proposal?”

They laughed nervously, “Oh, nothing, we were just curious.”

I sensed that there was a lot more to the story than they were letting on. But I decided to let the matter drop.

“Princess, princess. Wake up.” Fred whispered, tapping my shoulder.

I pulled the covers higher, “What do you want Freddie? I’m still sleepy.”

“Please princess.” He pleaded, “I want to watch the sunrise.”

“Fred, we watch the sunrise almost all the time.”

“Yeah, but we rarely watch the sunrise at the beach.”

He kneeled down in front of me, giving me his best puppy dog eyes, “Please.”

I opened an eye to look at him, “Fine. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He sprang up from his position excitedly, stuffing me into one of his sweaters the moment I had got out of bed as he dragged me out of the room and down to the beach.

We sat down in the sand, while I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

I am sure glad that Fred dragged me out to watch the sunrise, because it was the most beautiful one, I’ve ever seen.

As the brightest star in the Solar System painted to sky red and orange, Fred stood up as he gestured for me to do the same.

He smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not had a hidden agenda when I wanted to bring you out to watch the sunrise.”

I moistened my lips, “And that is?”

Fred pressed a kiss onto my forehead, before getting down on one knee, pulling out a small, velvet box and opening it to reveal a glimmering diamond ring.

I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth.

He started his speech, “Y/N L/N, you are the most amazing, the sexiest, the hottest, the kindest, the sweetest, and the most intelligent woman I’ve ever met. I have absolutely no idea how I manage to live my life before I met you. I messed up a lot of stuff in my life, but you were the one thing I got right. I’ve been indecisive a lot of times, but I am more than sure that I want to have my future with you, I want to grow old with you. I don’t ever want to let you go. I asked you to be my girlfriend on this exact spot years ago and you said yes. Now, I’m willing to try my luck again, will you give me this honor and marry me?”

The words died in my throat, I managed as small nod as Fred grinned, slipping the ring onto my ring finger before pulling me in for a kiss.

We pulled apart as Fred lifted me up and spun me around in a circle, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“You two are up early.” Harry said as we met the group at breakfast.

Fred then took a glass, dramatically tapping a spoon against it, causing everyone’s attention to be directed towards us.

“We have an announcement to make.” Fred said in a as a matter-of-fact tone.

“Will you hurry up because I’m hungry.” Ron said, causing Hermione to smack him on the arm.

“Y/N is no longer my girlfriend.” My fiancée said.

Everyone was stunned. Ginny was the first to break the silence, “You broke up with her? Why?”

Fred and I exchanged a look, trying hard not to smile, “That’s because,” he started to explain, “Y/N has been promoted to my fiancée.”

I grinned as I held up my left hand, the ring sitting proudly on my finger.

Everybody cheered as Ginny ran forward and engulfed me into a hug, the force enough to have me stumble backwards.

“I finally have a sister.” She said with a smile.

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

@lumosandnoxwriting @wand3ringr0s3 @famdomhideout @nova-darling @gaycatlord-stuff @pandaxnienke @escapingrealitybyreading (If you are crossed out, that means I can’t tag you)

#fredweasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fredweasleyimagines #fred weasley fluff #fredweasleyfanfic #fredweasleysmut #fred weasley angst #fredweasleyoneshots #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you

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deppsessed · 3 years

Text

Good luck charm #2

Part one here

Pairing: Johnny Depp x reader

It’s taken me a few weeks to write and be happy with this part to post. I hope that you all enjoy it and that it was worth the wait.

A few days later, I swear I can still smell the musky scent of Sauvage, and the taste of cigarettes on my lips. It’s hard to comprehend any of the last seventy-two hours being real, and going by Alex’s (who I’m sitting opposite having coffee with) reaction and raised eyebrows at me retelling the whole story, she’s having a hard time with it too. And in all honesty, I don’t blame her, it’s a lot to process.

“So, he invited you to the concert after party?”

I nod my head and take a sip of my coffee.

“Yep.”

“And he took you back to his hotel room? Where you-”

My lips curve into a smirk.

“He sure did.”

“And you’re aware of the fact this all sounds like a badly written fanfiction?”

I have to burst out laughing. There’s no denying it because it really, really does. I couldn’t have made it up if I tried.

“Did I tell you about the part where he had to get his security to smuggle me out of the building unnoticed the next morning?”

For me, that had been the most amusing part of the story. Having breakfast with him as if it was the most normal thing in the world. After a few more spent kisses and I’d decided that it was time for us to part ways, he’d sent in his security in to make sure I got out of the building safely.

“But the real question is… Has he called or texted you?”

He hadn’t yet. The band had played a show last night, and would be travelling again for their next tomorrow. I wasn’t hanging on and waiting for him to reach out to me either. It would be pretty easy for me to pick up the phone and call him too, but I refused to be that desperate.

I shake my head in reply to Alex’s question.

“No, but he gave me his number.”

“So, he’s waiting for you to call him then?”

Realistically, the chances were that it was a one night thing. I wouldn’t hear from him again and we’d go our separate ways. I’d rather be hit with the reality of the situation than holding out on hope for a phone call and being disappointed when it didn’t happen.

“I’m not going to. I don’t want him to think that I’m pining over him and completely desperate!”

“You’re insane… You know, if he wasn’t in the slightest bit interested then he wouldn’t have given you his number to begin with.”

That was a true enough point to make, but I’m still not deluded enough to give into the fantasy. I’m ready to give her a reply when my phone, that’s been sitting on the table in front of me, starts to frantically vibrate.

“Oh my god!”

Alex spots the name on the screen before I’m able to take a glance.

“He’s calling you! This really is a badly written fanfiction!”

I shrug my shoulders and continue to let the phone ring out. If it’s important, he’ll leave a voicemail.

“If you don’t answer that, I will!”

I scowl at her and shake my head, it’s hard to believe that I’m the one that’s being responsible about handling all of this. Before she’s able to reach for the phone, I’m swiping it off the table and standing up. “I’m at least taking it outside.” I grumble under my breath.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi-” The voice on the other end is raspy and familiar. I can just about see him fidgeting around like he does in interviews when he’s nervous. “It’s Johnny.”

Silence.

I’m confused. Does he want me to make the next move?

“Right… Your name rings a bell. There was this Johnny, that the other night I went to go and see his band and ended up spending the night in his hotel room-”

I don’t even mean for the words to sound as aggressive as they do .

“I feel like I owe you a little of an explanation -- I don’t usually do this. I, uh, I don’t usually invite girls - especially fans - back to my hotel room, and not call for three days.”

So it’s one of those phone calls, where he’s expecting to let me down gently and feels the need to explain everything that I already know to be the case.

“There’s no need to make a fool of yourself… I get it.”

“I don’t think that you do.”

What isn’t there to get?

“I get it. I mean this is probably the part where you offer me an obscene amount of money to not go to the press about it. You don’t need to worry--”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I freeze dead in my tracks, the thoughts of my overactive imagination and the words that I’m about to hit him with come to a close. Am I hearing things? Did he really just say…

“What?”

“It’s probably a really bad line. I don’t know if you heard me, I said….”

God, he’s insufferable.

“No, I heard you… I just don’t get it.”

He has his choice of any girl in the world. Models, actresses, and here he is calling me.

“The other night was special for me-”

It’s a cliché, and just about the worst thing that he could come out with, but I’ll let him continue.

“Listen, this probably sounds insane… but I want you here for the show tomorrow-”

He can’t be serious or that disconnected with reality. But then I remember the industry that he’s been working with the past thirty years, where he doesn’t have a nine to five job to cling onto, with a snap of his fingers he can pack his bags and travel somewhere else.

“I can fly you out, get you into the concert.”

That’s it. I can’t hold in my laughter, and I can just about see him pondering on the other end what’s so funny about his offer.

“I have a job-”

“So, call in sick?”

“It doesn’t work like that or that I don’t want to. It’s just, if I let you pay for the tickets and fly me out then that’s cheap, and I don’t want to be that person.”

There’s a long, drawn out sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Let me call you back.” I tell him, “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

---

A family emergency had been the most inventive thing that I’d been able to come up with, but it at least stopped any questions and pestering from work and friends about skipping town all of a sudden. The process of getting there had been planned to perfection, he was going to have one of the band’s security head on out to the airport and take me back to the concert venue - even if I had told him ten times how ridiculous it was and that I could get a cab, he had been insistent.

The journey from the airport to the venue has me pondering the insanity of it all. Both in him actually wanting me here, and me going as far as to make it happen.

The car pulls into the loading bay of the venue, where the tour buses and trucks with the band’s gear are on it. It’s when I get out of the car, that I notice him, like he’s just stepped off a photoshoot, puffing on a cigarette. I make the conscious decision to take him by surprise and sneak up on him.

“You know, those things are going to kill you one day-”

He startles, just about jumping out of his skin and choking on his cigarette in the process.

“Too bad we’re all going to die anyway, so we might as well indulge in the bad things while we’re alive and kicking.”

“That’s a little of a morbid stance to have.”

He laughs and shrugs his shoulders, unphased, “Calling me out on my smoking and then calling me morbid might be the best ‘hello’ I’ve ever gotten.”

He flicks the cigarette to the floor before stubbing it out with his shoe. He stands there with outstretched arms, ready to welcome me, but in blind panic I go for a handshake rather than a hug.

“Hi.”

His eyes widen, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I can almost see his thought process of just how he’s going to redeem himself and move on from the award pause.

“Hi,” There’s a long pause. “Was your flight okay? You got here safe?”

Thankfully, the flight had only been a couple of hours long - but that was more than enough time for me to spend on a plane. There was something about being in a constricted space, thousands of feet up in the air that made me nervous. Plus, without fail, I always felt disgusting afterwards.

“Guy beside me was snoring and drooling the whole time, I felt incriminated.”

“Should’ve taken my offer to fly you out first class.” I snort and roll my eyes at him. We’d already been over this, I’d made myself clear, I wasn’t going to be his groupie.

“Actually, without being rude, is there a place I can go and shower first? Being frisked at security and sitting on a plane kind of makes me feel gross.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement, I can almost see the cheeky comment that he’s threatening to make on the tip of his tongue, but something stops him. “Tour bus is free at the moment. I can give you the exclusive tour, too.”

Showering on a tour bus. Great. Exactly what I had in mind.

“Ladies first,” He gestures with his hand for me to move in front of him. It doesn’t take a scientist to work out that the giant black RV with the band logo across it is where we’re headed..

Much to my surprise, going inside, it’s more like a luxury hotel room on wheels. It feels a better standard than my apartment back home.

“This part is the kitchen…. We don’t use it much, aside from the mini bar.”

It doesn’t even qualify to be called a kitchen. It’s a tiny little counter space with a microwave, a coffee machine, and a mini fridge.

“And this is where we sit and relax, talk, play guitar...” He points towards the plush leather sofas adjacent to each other. “The cool part here is that the wall slides back if you need more space.”

“Impressive.”

“These are the bunks where we bring back the groupies.”

I’m unsure whether they look claustrophobic, like I’ve heard many complaints about, or if they look quite cozy.

“There’s a proper bedroom through there too, but Alice and Joe usually fight it out for it. I don’t mind sleeping it rougher.” He explains with a shrug of his shoulders. “Bathroom is through the back. Take as much time as you need. I’ll stand guard for you.”

“Thank you.” I look up at him with a smile before brushing past to open the door on the back wall that extends out into the bathroom. Much to my surprise, the room isn’t all that smaller than the bathroom in my apartment back home. The shower, that I assumed was going to be a small, cramped space, is quite spacious. The only strange thing is stripping down and knowing who is standing guard by the door.

He’s in every way true to his word, too. As I turn the water off and grab a towel to wrap myself in, I can hear a disagreement going on outside between Johnny and Tommy about the bathroom being otherwise engaged.

“I’m telling you, dude, you’re just going to need to find somewhere else to go and pee… Bathroom is off limits!”

“But I can’t hold it in, man! I’m dying! You think I can use the kitchen sink?”

Johnny starts to laugh at him, “You can’t be serious!”

There’s a little more toilet talk back and forth and laughing still going on by the time I’m dressed and nudging the door open carefully.

“Um, hi, Tommy.” I greet nervously and fold my arms over my chest.

“Oh! Now I get it… You have a girl here!”

I can feel a blush rise to my cheeks just thinking about what is no doubt going through his mind. Thankfully, Johnny comes to the rescue.

“It’s not -- it isn’t that, Tommy.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” He gives a wink at the two of us. “I’ll leave you to it, J-man!” And just like that, Tommy is off the bus.

“I’m sorry about him.” Johnny sighs, “He says what he thinks, there’s no stopping him.”

“It’s fine,” I brush off, acting as if I’m unbothered. But in reality, that one comment has gotten to me. I can’t help but have the niggling thought in the back of my mind, if that’s the way that Tommy is going to react, then what is the rest of the band going to be like?

---

The concert was amazing, even better than what it had been a few nights ago. I’d watched the show from the side of the stage, and could safely say that this time, Johnny had been looking and smiling at me.

I hadn’t wanted to face the confrontations of the band after the show, so after the encore, I had decided to hide away in Johnny’s dressing room to look at my phone for a moment of peace and quiet. If I was to exclude the fact that it was Johnny Depp’s dressing room that I was sitting in, it would have felt like the first normal moment of an otherwise bizarre day.

The door flying open makes me look up from the screen, to see Johnny standing there, still hot and sweaty from being under the lights.

“Everything okay?” He asks with a concerned expression, “You weren’t there when I came off stage. I was a little worried that I’d scared you off.”

I’m hardly going to tell him that I’m scared of running into the band when he’s the one that’s brought me out here to be with him. “I just didn’t want to get in the way, I thought you guys would be in a race to hit the showers.” I lie coolly. It seems to be good enough, since he goes to change the subject.

“What did you think?” He asks, a grin firmly in place on his lips. “Could you see and hear alright? The speakers weren’t too loud?”

I grin and nod my head eagerly. “You sounded amazing! Heroes was phenomenal...” I probably sound like I’m trying to impress him, but it’s my favourite song that the band do.

“Ah, you see,” He pauses to take a drink from his water bottle. “I think I had a little bit of extra good luck, with being cheered on the side front.”

I can feel that warm feeling of heat going up to my cheeks, and certainly not for the first time today. It makes me feel so powerless and awkward to just stand and say nothing.

“Um,” He scratches the back of his head, “You must be hungry?”

Starving, actually. I hadn’t had anything to eat since getting here and been too shy to pluck up the courage to ask about food since getting here. I’d accepted my fate and growling stomach a good few hours ago. But regardless, I downplay it, “A little, I guess…”

“Do you want to go and grab something to eat? I need to get showered and changed first…

I’m not certain what prospect makes me more nervous. Dinner with him. Or dinner uncomfortably sitting around all of the Hollywood Vampires eating. Both make my stomach flip. Especially since he isn’t going to specify.

#johnny depp imagine #johnny depp x reader #johnny depp fanfic

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a-bang-for-your-bucky · 3 years

Text

Welcome Home (Part One)

(NOT MY GIF)

Summary: After not speaking to her brothers for over a year, Peyton Rhodes’ life is turned upside down when her boyfriend of four years cheats on her. She uproots her life with WWE and returns home to Atlanta. She finds herself among great friends and she is finding herself again after being lost for so long.

WORD COUNT: 2,624 (well shit).

Pairings: Cody Rhodes x OFC (Sister), Brandi Rhodes x OFC (sister), Dustin Rhodes x OFC (Sister), past Seth Rollins x OFC, future Kenny Omega x OFC (maybe?), MJFx OFC( maybe?) Could end up being Matt Jackson x OFC (who knows) let the writing gods surprise us.

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentioned cheating, possible future smut (Warnings are subject to change as I continue writing and will be updated as needed).

A/N: This has been a WIP for over a year now. This will be multiple parts. It will be a slow burn. (MAYBE) I’m a sucker for the friends to lovers trope. Please do not think that this reflects my feels toward a certain wrestler (Seth). This story is strictly fiction. I do not own any of the characters except for my OFC(s). Please, please, please, give me feedback. I’m slowly working myself back into the fanfic world. <3

“Cody was right.” I cried as soon as my brother’s wife answered the phone. I hadn’t spoken to my brothers since they left WWE. Cody was upset that I wouldn’t leave with him. Brandi was my way of communication with them. She’d call at least twice a week. This week was different.

“I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win over Finn and they were,” I sniffled, hurt coming over me again. “It was Mandy. I thought she was my friend.” I explained to my sister in law.

“Pey, I am so sorry. Please come home. You know AEW has a spot for you whenever you want it.” Brandi offered. It was the same thing she said to me every week, but now I’m ready.

“I just don’t know why.” I cried. “I was the perfect girlfriend. I basically put my career on hold for him. I thought he was, I thought he was it for me.” Brandi had said that they were going to be home for Cody’s birthday in a few weeks and invited me to come to the party.

“I’ll talk to Hunter.” I choked out.

Luckily, my contract was almost up and as soon as Vince heard I didn’t want to re-sign, he settled for my release. We didn’t have the best relationship, but Hunter advocated for me stating that it was best for the company as well as myself. He knew the situation and didn’t blame me for wanting to go.

I knew I had to go back one day. I just never thought it would be this soon. I parked my car in the drive. I could hear Pharaoh announcing my arrival before I could make it to the door. I made my way up the sidewalk to the porch. I took a deep breath and knocked.

Brandi opened the door immediately. “Well I'll be damned.” She said, “I can’t believe you came!” I smiled, embracing my brother’s wife.

“Like I would miss my big brother’s 35th birthday.” I lied and she knew it. If Seth hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t be here.

Brandi led me inside where there were some guests who had gathered in the foyer. Brandi introduced me quickly, leading me through to Cody. “Hey, babe. Your surprise is here.” Cody, who was standing by the fireplace, talking to Dustin, turned and saw me.

Awkwardly, I raised a hand to wave. “Hi.” I whispered. Cody sat down his drink and walked over to me. I expected him to cuss and yell, but instead, he threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

“Peyton, I'm so happy you’re here.” He whispered. Dustin came up behind him.

“Long time, no see sis. You know, they invented this thing called a phone. You should look into it. Call your big brothers sometime.” Dustin fussed before hugging me too.

“It is really good to see you guys.” I tried to hold back the tears, but some escaped anyway. “How have you been? AEW has really taken off huh?” I said making small talk.

Cody nodded, “Yeah, I have the best business partners. I can’t wait for you to meet them.” Looking at my brother, he was truly happy. WWE had given him a few more stress lines, but seeing him now, you couldn’t tell.

He grabbed my hand, pulling me to follow him. He led me to Matt and Nick Jackson, standing with Kenny Omega and Adam Page. “Guys! Guys! Look who decided to show her face.” Cody beamed, smiling big. The four guys waved.

“Finally! We get to meet the prodigal sister.” Kenny Omega spoke first.

“Peyton, these are the guys.” Cody pointed to each of them. “Matt. Nick. Kenny. Adam.”

“Nice to meet y’all finally. I watch your show every week. You are all very talented.” They all mumbled a “thank you” in tandem.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. We all sat and talked. Getting to know The Elite was amazing. It was almost as if I hadn’t been AWOL for a year and a half. When the party was over, I was helping Brandi clean up.

“Pey, you don’t have to help. You’re a guest.” She said, grabbing the glasses from my hands. I shook my head.

“I’m family. And family helps.” I smiled, taking the glasses back and continued to the kitchen. Cody walked in behind me with plates.

“Hey,” he started, “Thank you for coming.” He finished, placing the plates in the dishwasher. I added my glasses.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out, turning to face him. Cody looked at me, confused. “I should have left with you. You were right about that place. My career, my relationship, everything, became a shitshow after you left.” tears began to fall.

“Pey, it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re here now.” Cody wiped the tears away.

“Code. I lost my title. Seth cheated on me, and I barely got any TV time.” Cody scoffed. He never liked Seth.

“He cheated on you?” Cody growled, and paced around the room.

I nodded, “I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win one night and they were,” I sniffled, explaining to Cody. “I don’t know why.” I cried. “And then I lost my title, and then stopped getting TV time, unless I was on Seth’s arm.” I darted my eyes to the ground. “We still had to work together. After everything, I had to pretend like we were the perfect couple, until my last appearance.” Cody pulled me into a tight hug.

“I pissed a lot of people off with the way I left. I’m so sorry that affected you.” he whispered into my hair, like it was his fault.

“I don’t blame you, Code. I was granted my release.” I mumbled into his chest. He pulled back.

“What?” His eyes were wide.

“I asked for my release and Hunter pushed it through. I’ll be a free agent in 90 days” I explained. Cody smiled like a Cheshire cat.

“Babe! Dustin! Get in here!” Cody yelled, startling me. The both of them came running, looking for an emergency, but they only saw Cody pouring champagne for a toast. Confused looks covered their faces.

Cody gave everyone a flute and started a toast. “To our baby sister, the newest AEW superstar.” Brandi squealed and hugged me tight. The guys joined in.

I was finally home.

It was hard, walking away from my life in WWE; However, finding my place within the Elite was easy. Especially with Kenny Omega. He quickly became one of my closest friends. The next 3 months were the best of my life. The break from wrestling gave my body and my heart time to heal. Everyone did their best to hide that I was coming to AEW, even leaving fake trails that I was going back to NJPW.

After working out the details of my contract, I was officially signed with AEW. Cody wanted me to make a surprise entrance, interrupt one of his segments. Creative loved the idea of brother and sister reuniting, but they wanted to make it interesting. When my debut date came, I couldn’t have been any more nervous.

Sitting in catering, I was alone, lost in thought, picking at my food. It had been a long journey here, but they made it. AEW came to life and it was thriving. Double or nothing had passed, and that meant tonight was Dynamite.

“Guess who?” Someone had snuck up on me, covering my eyes. I smiled because I knew exactly who it was.

“Hmm, Prince Charming?” I guessed quickly. Kenny placed a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

“Close, but better.” He said uncovering my eyes. “Hey, princess. Just thought I’d come save you from your thoughts. What’s going on in that head of yours right now?” he asked, knowing I’ll tell him, taking the seat next to me.

I sighed, rubbing my face. “I was thinking about my journey, how I got here.” Kenny nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I was thinking about how I get to see Jon again, since leaving WWE, and I was thinking about Seth.” I finally spit it out. Seth, his name leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

“I knew something was bothering you. Talk to me, doll.”

“I was scrolling through Insta earlier. He’s engaged. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. Not because I still have feelings for him, but because she is, was, my friend, and I don’t want him to do to her what he did to me.” I explained to him.

“That’s understandable, Pey, but people gotta make their own mistakes. Mandy knows what he did to you and she still said yes, so that’s on her.” Kenny said, ever the voice of reason.

I nodded in agreement with him, knowing he was right. I needed to focus on my new path, my new future.

“Peyton!” Cody called from a distance, Brandi following him. It was time.

Cody stood, center ring, proudly. He had won the TNT title at Double or Nothing. He went on about how he was issuing an open challenge every Wednesday.

I stood nervously behind the curtain, waiting for my cue. I was about to make my debut. My life has been a little crazy since I left WWE behind, but definitely for the better.

As an avid Fall Out Boy fan, I had struck a deal to have my favorite song as my entrance music. I had been using it for most of my career. The music hit, the crowd went crazy. “Holy Hell, that music can only mean one person. The sister of the American Nightmare. That’s Peyton Rhodes!” JR yelled into his mic as I strolled down the ramp, ignoring the crowd. “Peyton” chants filled the arena as I made my way to the squared circle.

“Peyton Rhodes has joined AEW and the crowd couldn’t be happier,” Excalibur added. I walked around the ring to the time keeper, grabbing a mic from Justin, and strolled on toward the ring.

The music cut, and Cody was first to speak. "Oh yeah. I guess we didn't announce this but Peyton Rhodes is AEW!" The crowd screamed at Cody's news, chanting "AEW".

I soaked in the cheers because I knew it was all about to change. I had been a face for most of my pro-wrestling career, and now I finally get to pursue the heel turn my fans had been begging for. I took in a deep breath and adjusted my leather jacket.

“Oh, Atlanta, shut the hell up!” I groaned into the mic. I revelled in the audible gasp that could be heard. “That’s right. No more sweet ‘Georgia peach’ Peyton Rhodes. I came to AEW to raise hell, and that’s what I’m going to do.” I wandered around the ring, stopping in front of a camera. “I’m sick and tired of wanting your approval. I’m here to get what I want. And I want it all.” I punctuated as I looked dead into the camera.

“Hear that big brother,” I turned and faced Cody, “Hell just arrived in AEW I hope you’re ready.” I gestured to the crowd, “I hope you’re all ready, because if you thought Cody was a nightmare, wait til you see me, the Dream Killer.” I dropped the mic, and rolled out of the ring. The crowd loved it. “Dream Killer” chants echoed in my ears all the way backstage.

I was greeted by Dustin, Brandi, and Kenny. “That was perfect, Pey, they loved it.” Kenny said as soon as I was in sight. I grinned, running up to him, jumping into his arms for a hug.

“The crowd loved you. They’ve been hoping for this heel turn since your WWE debut.” Cody said, smiling from ear to ear as he returned to the back after finishing his promo.

“For real, Pey! You pull off the ‘heel’ thing. I can’t wait to work on your wardrobe!” Brandi squealed, embracing me in a dancing hug. “Just think about the shoes, Pey, the shoes.” Brandi was way more excited about the outfits than the actual turn. She had helped me pick the one I was wearing. Black jean shorts, a front-zip black and white crop top, leather jacket, and black boots.

“I can’t wait to see where this takes me.” I said before we were joined by the rest of The Elite.

Nick was the first to speak. “Not bad, Rhodes. You might be a better heel than your brother here.” He elbowed Cody in the ribs.

Matt nodded in agreement, “For real Peyton, the crowd was so hyped for that turn.” He said with a soft smile, bringing me in for a quick hug.

I turned to face everyone. “Thanks guys. All of you. You gave me this chance.” I thanked them, “I promise I won’t let you down.”

“You’re a great addition to the AEW family.” Adam complimented, “Come on Ken, we got a match to get ready for.” he said before walking away. Kenny gave me one last hug before following him.

Cody and Brandi also parted as she had a segment coming up, leaving me with the Young Bucks. “Come on, Pey, lets celebrate!” We had walked back to catering where some more of the AEW stars were waiting. In the back, I spotted the one person I couldn’t wait to see again. I told The Bucks I’d catch up with them.

“Jon!” I screamed, almost running to him. When he saw me rushing toward him, he opened his arms, inviting me in for a hug. Hugging him was a blast from the past.

“Peyton fucking Rhodes. I heard rumors you were coming. Sweetheart, you knocked them dead.” He spoke into my hair. I gave him one more tight squeeze before pulling away. “Well, you look great.” He said, gesturing to my outfit.

“I’m heel now. Finally.” I boasted. I’ve been waiting for this for the longest time and no one was taking it away from me. Jon and I talked, catching up. I asked about Renee and he lit up. He was happy and that’s all I wanted for him. He was finally able to be the fighting champion everyone knew he could be.

“What about Seth? What happened? The last time I spoke to him, he said you guys were happy and he had bought a ring.” Jon asked, and it knocked the breath out of me. I knew he would ask, but I wasn’t expecting him to mention a ring.

“He cheated on me. With Mandy. They’re engaged now.” I said without choking up, which was a good sign. I could see the disappointment well up in Jon’s eyes.

“You were always too good for him.” I knew he and Seth were still good friends, but I appreciated the words nonetheless. Jon gave me one last hug before he got called away for his match, leaving me alone in catering again.

I found a table close to a TV so I could watch the end of Kenny and Adam’s match. They were well on their way to becoming tag team champions. I started thinking about what Jon had said about Seth, about him buying a ring. I couldn’t believe it. He was going to ask me to marry him and I would have said yes, had I not found him with Mandy. I was pulled from my thoughts by my phone vibrating. It was Seth.

I saw your debut.

You look good.

You’re gonna be a great heel.

I miss you.

I wish you would talk to me and let me explain.

I read and reread the messages a hundred times before replying.

Okay, Seth. When and where?

124 notes · View notes

ghost1643 · 3 years

Text

Melban corpsebride au

(don’t worry no one stays dead)

now also be warned this will be a seven deadly sins idea but will focus on the melban ship, which is a crack ship but I love.

So with that let's begin.

~~~~~~~💍~~~~~~~~

Okay so as we begin, Ban is new engaged. We see him rushing around with King joking having as much fun as can be seeing as they will be brothers in a matter of only hours. Everything seems perfect as they stand with the rest of their friends, minus a certain blond for reasons that will become apparent later.

That is the moment Elaine walks down the isle. Ban tears up just beaming holding her hand. He is just so happy. Everything is going perfect and he finally has a loving wife he always wanted..

That is until she drops dead during the kiss.

Now Elaine has always been sick ever since she was young. She almost died multiple times and was told her heart was weak for years. So she was expecting to die before she got to old. She prepared Ban and everyone she knew for it. She had a will. She had a grave stone set and even had her own funeral picked out. Yet, she never would have guessed as she leans in for the kiss on her wedding day that her racing heart would suddenly stop.

Neither did Ban.

All he knows is that their lips met for less then a second. He held onto her hand thumb rubbing over the ring as their lips brushed together. Then she got cold. Like suddenly cold as the winter air. He could hear the crowd cheer and as he leaned back, she dropped down to the ground dead. From there it was a blur.

Ban could remember people screaming. He could remember the panic as he tried to help. He remember carrying Elaine to a doctors....yet from there his mind goes blank. He just remembers sitting near her grave 3 days later watching as she is slowly buried, tears springing to his eyes watching her disappear bellow the ground, leaving him too soon.

From there, well he just sits in bed for days on end. Or at least he thinks so. He just remembers seeing her grave every time he closed his eyes for weeks on end as his brother in law takes care of him day in and day out. As he is cared for Ban builds up a wall. He swears he will never love anyone again until he sees Elaine. He is not going to move on ever. He is just going to wait until he can see her face again smiling and bright as ever. Until then he is happy to be alone for the rest of his life.

And he keeps to his word...He never loves again...That is until the incident three years later...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💍~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we open back up it's three years later and King and Diane are finally getting married. Ban is his same old self, but as mentioned before he kept to his word. He has no other loves and drowns his sores in booze whenever he has the chance.

The day before the wedding they're having the usually batchellor party with Ban as a host. They are all drinking like mad during which having fun until Escanor has to go pee which all the Drunken idiots decided to do outside with him cause fun and only real men piss in the woods according to escanor.

Once they are all done peeing in the woods they start teasing king about messing up his vows during the rehearsal earlier that day as they walk back. This goes on until King snaps holding out the ring drawing them all to try it out here then if they think they can do better.

So they attempt to do just that.

Of course they are all drunker than a sailor and keep dropping it one by one. That is until Ban gets it just as they pass by a creepy tree. One that even creeps Gwother out, which is rare. No one can say why other than it just is a freaky tree with weird branches.

Hey those thoughts are drowned away as Ban recites the vow...Except half way through ten the vows are no longer King's. The vows switch to those he told Elaine the last day he saw her as his eyes water. Just as he finishes he leans against the tree looking down where he sees a branch sticking out of the ground that looks like honey hand. The same one that belonged to Elaine all those years ago.

And slowly he slips it on the branch before kissing it picturing it as Elaine's hand giving her a finale kiss goodbye. This do course is when a few tears fall as his friends help him up to his get. King tries to comfort him walking away forgetting all about the ring until Gwother screams in terror, which is rare. Nothing scares Gwother ever after all.

Then they see the branch digging it's body out of the ground. The body of a boy who has been stabbed with a bag over his head who stands before them making them all freeze up for a few moments wondering what is happening. Then he rips the bag off his head showing the face we all Know belongs to Meliodas saying one chilling line,

"I do..."

~~~~~~~💍~~~~~~~~

When Ban wakes up he is in purgatory with souls who have died but have yet to move on, who are the demons in the anime. Yet, unlike in the anime they are just happy to be around and don't plan to kill anyone. And amongst them all is Meloidas, Ban's new husband who is just so excited to have someone to love him again.

Just like in the movie Ban freaks out that he's married to a corpse and demands to know who he is. This makes a soul move onto a musical number, which is just remains of the day, where we find out how Meloidas died.

He was the son of a rich merchant who fell in love with a beautiful women who's family was hated by his own. Meliodas asks his father for permission to marry her and gets a no. So he packed up some money, puts on his fathers tuxedo, steals his parents wedding rings and goes to run off with his women. Yet, turns out she didn't love him. Instead she just wanted money to run off with with her real boyfriend. So they knock Meliodas out and burry him alive, where he wakes up deader than a door nail a few hours later. Once he makes his way to the land of the dead and realizes what happened to him he decided he would rather stay in the ground where he was buried for the rest of time.

Yet, when Ban put that ring on his finger he made Meliodas feel something again. He made him feel joy and...well now Meliodas is back under with his friend ready to move on.

Ban upon finding out he married a corpse, runs off to try and find a way back up for his friends wedding. He just has too. He climbs every little building or stair case he can before breaking down, having a moment of silence on top of the highest balcony where Meliodas winds him with a box. Ban just ignores him for a bit, which he expects to be interrupted. Yet, mel just lets him sit there. He lets him think some more. He even waits for Ban to talk to him first.

Slowly Ban sits down near the tinier dead boy looking Star struck. How did this happen? Did he really marry a corpse?

"It's a lot to take in I know." Meliodas speaks up slowly.

"Yeah....yeah it is." Ban blurts out looking over the village of the dead. It some how seems more....alive then the normal world of the living.

"I...I shouldn't have dragged you here before explaining myself." Meliodas sighs.

"Yeah not gonna lie that would have helped." Ban sighs before looking at his more human looking face. Mel turns to face him and they make eye contact for the first time and Ban could have sworn he saw his eyes before. "Is there anyway to get back home? I have somewhere I need to be..."

"I...I...look all I can say is, I should have thought through my actions more..." Meliodas blurts out.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well the underworld has a way out and in.."

"I mean obviously how else would I have gotten here..."

"Yeah the trouble is...Bel is it?"

"Ban actually."

"We'll Ban, you kinda have to be dead to go through the entrance back up..unless your a death mage....and I may...I may have trapped you here...."

"What?"

"Look I'm sorry-"

"HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW! IT ISNT LIKE I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPENED BEFORE!!"

They just late at each other for a while before Meliodas sighs. "Look i..I know it's not much for trapping you here, but I..well I got you something..." he holds out the box he is holding.

"What? You trap me in the underworld-"

"Purgatory."

"Trapped where ever this is forever and give me a box! I don't want your damn gift!" He yells knocking the box to the ground, and out tumble some bones. He jumps back seeing their the bones of an animal that slowly start to reform into a Skelton dog. The same dog he had when he and Elaine first started doing out.

Ban finds his eyes shining as the dog jumps up on him giving him some nuzzled when something hits him. Something big.

Meliodas had gifted him a dog that died 6 years ago. A dog that had died before Elaine. Which meant, Elaine was here. She was somewhere here. He could see her again! He could say goodbye or even be with her forever.

"I know it's not muc-"

"Can you help me find Elaine?" Ban blurts out holding his Skelton dog close making eye contact with Meliodas.

"I...who?" Meliodas asks slowly crouching down to pat the dog, who just loves the attention.

"Elaine..she was my wife...."

"Oh-"

"I mean she was for less than a minute but I never got to say goodbye. It would mean the world to me if I got to see her even just one more time....would you know where she is?"

"I mean we had a girl two years ago who died on her wedding day but she moved all the way to the other side of the land of the dead to be a helper to the only death mage we have down here......but it's at least a three day journey.."Mel explains looking at his husbands face. Upon seeing the heart break in his eyes, he just sighs. He trapped him here as his husband, the least he could do is make him happy.

"I can pack my things and we can start our journey tonight...."

And from here the plot kind of goes like Shrek. They go on a three day journey to the other side of this realm. They journey trying to get there to find Elaine. And along the way slowly gain feelings for each other until they finally reach the mages home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💍~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once at the mages house Ban makes a discover. Elaine has moved on. She moved on once she watched King get engaged, planning to see Ban again later. She moved on before Ban could learn a spell the revives the dead, giving their lungs breath once again depending on how long they have been dead.

And he's absolutely crushed. He never gets to see his wife again. He never gets to see his friend again. He is stuck here all because of Meliodas.

So they argue screaming at each other before Ban yells the only line anyone I know can remember about this movie. The way he says it goes like this.

"How was I supposed to kn-"

"I DONT KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN DEAD SO LONG I JUST FIGURED YOU KNEW!!"

"Ban, I have only been dead for like two month-"

"I DONT CARE IT IS YOUR FAULT IM HERE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Well maybe you should have thought about the consequences before you asked me to marry you!"

"Why CANT YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, IT WAS A MISTAKE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MARRIED YOU IF I KNEW IT WAS YOU!"

And with that Ban storms out to sulk leaving Meliodas sitting in there looking heart broken. While alone Mel discovers that ban technically isn't married to him. It's for two living people to marry, and with one dead it doesn't count. So he's just dragged Ban down here for no reason.

So melio sacrifices his love. He waits until Ban comes in before breaking an egg over his husbands head, whispering a spell to send him back to the land of the living leaving him alone for the rest of time.

~~~~~~~~💍~~~~~~~~~~~

Yet, Ban doesn't want that. He went in to apologize and tell Meliodas he made him feel again. And now here he is sitting on the bridge his husband kidnapped him from. He is standing here in shock before Diane rushes over hugging him tight followed by all their friends.

He's then dragged to the wedding of his friends telling them about his adventure..and realizing he just screwed up and odd sort of love. A love he might never seen again when he dies...after all he might not have any unfinished business and just move on.

Yet, now here he is helping his friend get married feeling numb all over again. All he wants to do is die and go applogize. Heck maybe even go put flowers on his body's site. Hèll maybe even take one of the photos he just walked by of him to snuggle with at nigh-wait what?

He rushes back over picking up the poster to see Mel on it. Mel is the missing rich boy Dian mentioned when he came to town. Mel has been missing for two months. Only two months. Which means the revival spell Ban learned can be used on him.

He can bring Meliodas back to life. He can give him another chance. It's all he can think about as Escanor asks what's wrong.

And with that he's off.

Ban rushes to the forest, friends hot in pursuit scared he's broken down again all the way to Meloidas's buried spot. Once there he starts the spell using his own blood, jsut two drops, for the blood to be used in the spell.

"What are you doing?" Diane panicked rushing to stop the bleeding.

"Stop! Stop please!" He yelled jerking back.

"Ban what's gotten into you?" Merlin asks trying to help.

"Please I just need to see him again! I need to see Mel again and aplogize! I need to make it up to him!" He screws crying a bit. Everyone freezes up before Diane asks what else he needs.

From here everyone helps with the spell, yet some think it's a odd way of moving on from Elaine. Maybe it's a figurative way to release her soul near a creepy branch or something.

At least that's what Diane things before the branch starts to grow skin and scratch at the ground making her scream. Everyone screams befroe Ban drops to his Knees trying to dig the hand up in a blind panic screaming that he needs help. Escanor drops near him, then Gwother, then king and soon Meliodas sits up clinging to Ban gasping for air.

He sits up as his flesh seems to regrow and his body pops back to the way it use to be. And with that he's back. Meliodas has been 100% revived in the arms of Ban. In the arms of his husband.

"Ban i-what did you do?" Mel blurts out.

"I brought you back."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why? I thought you said you wouldn't have-"

"Mel...you made me feel again."

"What?"

"Ever since I lost Elaine I was numb. Nothing mattered. My whole world was grey and all that made me think was booze. It made me feel like I was floating. Other than that nothing else. Then you came...and you brought light back. You brought beauty back into my world. You showed me joy. You showed me fear. You showed me someone cared. And it made me feel alive again. So if I have to do a spell to revive you that may tie you to me forever so be it...I just want you here, next to me...if you'll have me..."

"Oh I-"

"OH BAN! That's so romantic!" Diane squeals tearing up making a Mel jump and blush seeing all those people. They all blush waving hi before Mel giggles.

"I see you have friends you weren't lying about..."

"Oh yeah! Mel these are my buds, and guys this is Mel my...my..."

"Husband. I'm his husband." Meliodas smiles kissing his cheek.

And with that kiss, they're together for a very long time. For the rest of their lives actually. The entire time as happy as can be...

(anybody have any other ideas for more corpse bride au’s?)

46 notes · View notes

sykilik101 · 3 years

Text

Third Wheel

Ash was never one for expressing his emotions with any kind of subtlety. Courage, pride, anger; he only knew how to articulate his feelings at max power. As it turned out, that also applied to being love-struck. Between all the flushes of red on his cheeks and the ways he’d keep glancing in Misty’s direction, it wasn’t hard to figure out how he felt about her. That, and the picture of her I caught him staring at last week.

It had been an accident, naturally. He’d scrambled to hide the evidence, but at that point it was obvious to us both that I knew. Well, I’d known sooner, but he didn’t need to know that. Not right away, at least.

After taking a vow of silence for his sake, I’d expected Ash to never bring it up again. He hadn’t actually admitted to liking her, and I didn’t feel like coercing a confession out of him. I assumed he’d just deny anything if I asked, as he’d often done to everyone who ever teased him about liking her.

And yet...

“Brock, are you even listening?”

I nodded, swirling the wooden spoon through the stew. “Yeah, sure.”

“Really? Then what did I just say?”

“You think Misty is pretty.”

“...I already said that.”

“You’ve said it every night this past week, after all.”

“Well, that’s because it’s true!”

The night after my photographic discovery, Ash had approached me, his head down and his smile sheepish. Misty was bathing at the river, leaving the two of us alone. Ash coming to me during my preparation of dinner was common; the fluster written all over his face wasn’t.

Before I could say anything he’d simply blurted it out. “I like Misty.” No build up, no warning, as blunt as I’d come to expect from him. I’d nearly fumbled my knife from shock, which would have been terrible; that would mean leaving dinner to them two, and I actually felt like eating that night.

“You...really?”

He’d nodded, his smile losing its hesitancy and growing in joy. What followed was a spiel of Ash putting all of those amorous glances at her into words. Even as my focus had been on making sure our dinner was cooking properly, he went on and on about Misty’s traits that had apparently become flattering practically overnight. Every night since, whenever Misty was off bathing, Ash used that time to unload all his sappy thoughts onto me.

Well, I guess it’s not like I hadn’t seen it coming a mile away.

It was funny how Misty was quick to call Ash dense when she’d never caught on to all the ways Ash had started falling for her over the years. I’d certainly noticed, though, like how he always made sure to eat next to her or set his sleeping bag by her side, things like that. I don’t think Ash consciously knew how he felt right away, but he must have caught on at some point, and Misty was none the wiser to any of it.

Ash prodded at my arm with further annoyance. “You’re supposed to be listening here, Brock.”

I offered what I hoped was a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, just focusing on dinner. I’ll listen this time for sure, promise.”

He crossed his arms and huffed, though his face quickly shifted to a more morose expression. “Do you think...does she really only think of me as a friend?”

“Are you talking about earlier?”

For the millionth time over the span of our journey, someone had interpreted Ash and Misty’s antics as romantic, and in the usual fashion they both denied it vehemently. Her remarks revolved around Ash simply being a friend and traveling partner, one who still owed her a bike. It was a common dismissive comment for her, and I’d allowed myself a glance at the little twitch in Ash’s eye when she said it.

“She’s forgotten about it before, so I kinda assumed that she actually likes traveling with m- us.”

I grinned at his little attempt to keep me included and I shook my head. “If it makes you feel better, Ash, I’ve enjoyed traveling with you up until this point. If she’s the Misty that we both know, I think she feels the same way, too.”

“Well, why does she keep bringing it up? Can’t she just say we’re just friends? Not that that’s any better…”

The last sentence was more mumble than exasperation. I gave the pot an extra stir. “She’s probably just used to saying it by now. Y’know, a bad habit. I can’t think of many other reasons she’d stick to the bike excuse.” I actually could, but I didn’t want to assume anything.

He didn’t answer right away, opting to lean forward on the log and lace his fingers together. I could hear him inhale slowly, but sigh sharply. “What do you think she would do if I actually paid her back?”

“How are you planning on doing that?”

He shook his head. “I’m not saying I can right now. I’m just thinking, do you think she’d stay on this journey with us?”

Being so used to Ash’s musings being upbeat and, well, gushy, it was off-putting to hear his tone get so down with regards to Misty. I didn’t have a real answer, but I could at least encourage him. “Y’know, I’m pretty sure she would. Don’t forget, she wanted to go on a journey to become a water Pokémon Master, right? I’d say she’s doing that and being with us. And besides,” I allowed myself another grin, “I’m sure she’d find some excuse to stay by your side even if you got her another bike.”

His face began to brighten. “You really think so?”

“You bet. I could imagine her saying that you’d never win another badge without her help.”

His first laugh of the evening resonated through the campsite and I savored my own delight at having cheered my friend up. “I could win any badge I wanted to all on my own. But…I’m really glad to have her cheering for me.”

“You know, you don’t hear everything she says during your battles.”

“What do you mean?”

I almost felt guilty at how quickly his mood shifted just by giving different context to Misty and her different relations to him, but since I was using this power for good, I swept it under my mental rug. “Sometimes you’ll make a mistake and she’ll say ‘don’t do that, Ash’ or ‘get it together’, you know, stuff like that.”

In a flash his grin plastered itself back onto his face, though it had brought along a pair of rosy cheeks. “Does she really?”

“Mhm, all the time, especially when you’re losing.”

It was like a twinge of annoyance had momentarily tried, but failed, to break through his smirk. “Lucky for me I haven’t lost a match in a while, huh?”

I nodded, sensing that Ash’s ego was starting to flare up, which was a funny thing to happen when talking about a crush of all things. Then again, I’d never gotten the impression Ash would know what to do with romantic feelings if he ever developed them, so I couldn’t say I was surprised.

Actually, what was Ash planning on doing about his crush?

“Are you gonna tell her?”

“...tell her what?”

“That you like her?”

Ideation of his recent win streak was clearly still on his mind and his brain hadn’t processed the question yet. Seconds later his mouth twisted as he sputtered out what I assumed was an answer, but it sounded more like the cry of some Pokémon that hadn’t been discovered yet. I checked the taste of the stew to hide my smirk. “I’m gonna need you to repeat that, Ash.”

“I’m...I’m gonna tell her. Eventually.” I wasn’t really convinced, and judging by his new expression he could probably tell. “I’m just not really sure of the right time. I kinda wondered if it would be okay to tell her when I got her another bike.”

“Whenever that is.”

“I’m really gonna pay her back, okay?”

“Are you worried she’ll say no?”

“To me getting her a new bike?”

“Ash.”

His thumbs began rolling in slow circles, the rest of his body still aside from his breathing. He nibbled at his lip. “Even if Misty doesn’t like me back, I don’t think we’ll stop being friends because of it. It’s just...when I think of liking Misty, it makes sense to me, you know? It’s the same with me liking Pokémon. I can’t really explain it, but I know it. I guess I’m kinda scared that I’ll lose something that makes sense to me.”

I gave the stew one last good stir before setting the spoon across the top of the pot. The conversation had gotten to the point where Ash deserved my full attention. “What would be the best case scenario if you told her?”

“I guess...she’d say she likes me back.”

“And then?”

He leaned his head back, a thousand-mile stare matching his now reddened cheeks. It took him a few extra seconds to break away from his fantasy world. “I guess we’d do what people who like each other do. Y’know, holding hand and...all that stuff.” A sudden look of realization straightened his face out, blinking before turning to me. “Actually, Brock, you always seem able to hold a girl’s hand or talk about being in love with them so easily.”

I chuckled nervously, touching my fingers to the back of my neck. “W-well, my case is a little different from yours, that’s all.” I wouldn’t say jealous was the word, but while I was fascinated in finding an everlasting love somewhere out in the world, it was obvious to me that Ash had already found his. He just needed a bit more time and courage to get to her.

He didn’t look fully satisfied with my answer, but shrugged all the same. “I just wonder if it should even be this hard. I want her to like me back, but every time I think about telling her, I get all tense.” He smirked. “That’s kinda why I wanted to tell her when I got her another bike. It’d be like...I’m not just telling her, but showing her, you know?”

It was always my view that Ash was dense to romance, or at the least didn’t understand when it applied to him specifically. However, that little grin and the way his interlaced fingertips started bouncing back and forth said enough about how natural it was for him, at least with regards to Misty. Knowing him he probably didn’t even consider what he’d just said as an act of love, just a solution to his nervousness issue.

“If you think that’s the best move, then that’s what you should go for.”

What else was there to say? My gut told me he’d probably succeed no matter what he did, but if he wanted the bike to be his vehicle for delivering his confession, I didn’t have much room to say otherwise. Not after that kind of admission.

He nodded, but before he could say anything else the sound of footsteps cut him off. “I’m back.”

Our attention was pulled towards Misty re-entering the campsite, her hair down and still damp. Without missing a beat I glanced towards Ash, newly appreciating that giddy little smile he was clearly trying his best to hide. Twice now he’d gushed about how Misty looked with her hair down, but the look on his face said it all.

I still had no idea how Misty hadn’t figured it out yet.

“It’s your turn, Ash, and don’t just jump in and out. Actually clean yourself for once.”

“Misty, I always clean myself! At least I don’t spend forever taking a bath like some people!”

“For your information, I need to wash away all the dirt and sweat from walking all day! Didn’t your mom tell you to clean yourself properly?”

Their squabble was going to last another minute or two, and I used the chance to check the stew once more. Perfectly done, ready to eat.

With a huff, Ash meandered towards the river. I hadn’t noticed if he won the argument, but then it never really mattered between the two. If anything, as I watched Ash vanish around the corner, I could probably imagine the smirk he was wearing. I chuckled to myself; I’d probably have to deal with his nightly gushing for a long while.

“Hey, Brock?”

Misty took a seat next to me, returning her hair to its normal ponytail. Her hands fell to her lap, an uncommon awkwardness plastered on her face.

“What’s up, Misty?”

Her fingers tensed and relaxed over and over as her gaze glued itself to her knees. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. The sole of her foot bounced up and down, flatting the dirt below it.

“Can I talk to you...about Ash?”

She turned to me with the same reddened cheeks I’d just finished looking at not a minute ago. Same discomfort, same wavering eyes. I almost wanted to fall back in my seat in disbelief, but I settled for a small grin that elicited a curious look from her. Shaking my head I patted the log next to me, turning to face her.

“I’m all ears.”

I guess I wouldn’t just be dealing with Ash’s gushing for a while, either.

I initially wrote this fic just because I wanted to write about the idea of gushing, but then I ended up using it to practice a slight deviation of my writing style. Hope you all enjoyed it!

#Pokemon #Ash Ketchum #Misty #Ash x Misty #pokeshipping #aaml #fanfiction #fanfic #satokasu #I super enjoyed writing this #and I'm 100% happy with how it turned out

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juleswolverton-hyde · 3 years

Text

Not by the Moon | 04

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of jealous werewolf!Jaebeom and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

There are a lot of extraordinary people in the world, but you often don’t find them remarkable until you happen to stumble upon and talk to them. The wolfish man holding tightly onto my hand, his arm draped across my shoulders, as we swagger over the pavement to his home above Paper Souls is such a curious person.

The good hour he dozed off hasn’t helped his sickly state. Even though he was nestled comfortably against me, occasionally a pained delirious whine fell from his panting lips as his features turned into a grimace. Upon waking, Jaebeom tried to dismiss his symptoms as nothing to worry about, but I insisted on getting him home as soon as possible.

“I’m sorry I ruined our outing,” he murmurs, voice strained. As we ascend the stairs to his apartment, he keeps his head bent low to focus on his steps.

Step by step. One foot before the other. There you go.

“It’s not your fault you got sick,” I reply, keeping a close eye on his movements to offer additional support if needed.

He turns his head to me, a few long black locks partially concealing the sweat on his brow. For a moment, it seems as if he wants to protest yet decides against it. Henceforth, what I get in reply is a hum resigning in the notion it’s indeed not his fault.

Is your condition causing this?

The question burns hot on the tongue, but I swallow it down. Hopefully, we’ll get to talk about it properly sometime in the future.

The day we know each other.

We make it to the top, albeit not effortlessly since I have to steady him when he almost trips on the last step. Panic and instinct rush through me when Jaebeom threatens to topple over, so I act quickly and shoulder more of his weight after clumsily steadying us both on the narrow staircase.

“Are you going to be alright?” I ask, out of breath. The adrenaline of the potential danger has spent whatever energy I had, the muscles in my limbs melted.

“I will be,” he weakly answers.

I gently let his arm glide from my shoulders, the removal of the weight simultaneously a relief and a missed presence. The attempt at letting him stand on his own feet is successful, although his hand shakes as he unlocks the front door.

The feverish fingers glide from the doorknob to entwine with mine once more before his tongue runs over my lips again. Despite this being the third time it happens, it still doesn’t fail to bewilder me nor bring a boyish smirk to his face when I look at him, speechless.

“Thanks. Today nice. I-,” he starts up and averts his gaze to the side, a rosy flush on his cheeks, “I mean, today was nice.”

I put my hand on the side of his face, gently compelling him to look at me. A cheeky idea rises in my mind, tempting me to go against my very nature.

Which I do.

Standing on the tips of my toes, I close my eyes and give him a peck on the cheek. The action surprises us both because he looks utterly gobsmacked when I have gathered very piece and sliver of the courage needed to look up at him.

However, before I can utter a word, a hesitating hand reaches out to carefully brush against my cheek, the touch as light as the fall of a feather on porcelain. The gentleness of the contact forms a funny contrast to the roughness when he firmly presses his lips on mine the second after.

Musk mingled with the musty perfume of books, warmth of spices and bitter coffee with a hint of fresh cologne fills my nose and overtakes the senses. My brain short-circuits, filled with a strange primal instinct no one has ever awakened before. Notwithstanding, something in the way our bodies harmonize in the small yet passionate contact triggers it, leaving me wanting more.

Skin on skin.

Just us.

But it’s too early and we barely know each other. This isn’t right. Not now, at least.

Hence is why I pull away, taking a step back with the imprint of his moustache ticklish on my lips.

A whimper like an abandoned puppy erupts from his throat as he chases after my mouth. Nevertheless, when I take a step back to avoid further contact, he gives up and lowers his head. However, as rapidly as disappointment had overtaken him, he rights himself and clears his throat. When he speaks up, the words come out in a mumbled mess. “I- I’m sorry. That was too direct.”

“No, it’s fine,” I reassure him, vaguely gesturing with one hand while I rub the back of my neck with the other. “I- I liked it, but let’s not- Do you... really see me that way?”

“In what way?” he asks, blinking as he gives me a blank look. But, the meaning dawns on him after a moment in which I badly try to articulate what I mean.

He grabs my right wrist, the one he bit, and holds it up for me to see. The broken skin has already healed a bit, but it’s still sensitive and throbbing, especially now that JB puts pressure on it. “I didn’t do this out of some de- del- confused?”

“Delirious?” I help him, wondering what point he is about to try and convince me of.

“Delirious! I didn’t do this out of a delirious frenzy. This means something to me. Something important. To me, this is us.” JB takes in a deep breath to steady himself, his voice strained as he seems to hold something in. “What I want for us. And I want others to know this because you’re my territory.”

“I’m just a friend.”

And scared of losing you to Love.

“You are, but you’re also more to me. I know you said you want to take things slow and I agree with that.’’ His expression softens, dark eyes filled with tender affection. ‘’However, I want you to know how I really feel about you.”

“I don’t want to risk our friendship.”

“Me too. Yet,” he closes the distance and cups my face, his thumbs lovingly brushing my cheeks, “you deserve to know my intentions. Know I want to take the risk when you’re ready to do so too.”

“Thank you.” I run my hands over his arms, his body heat warming my palms through the fabric of the sleeves. It’s a pleasant thought, knowing he is there to catch me should my knees give out. Which is likely to happen as the leftover tension from our trip upstairs fades and affection fills the heart.

“For what?”

“Waiting.”

Until I figure out when it’s the right time.

He nips at the tip of my nose, his tongue cheeky in its feather light touch. “I always will. Do you have any plans tomorrow?”

“I’m going out for tea with a friend.” The delight in his expression sours as it did in the park, the confident playfulness replaced by a vicious brooding. The autumn chill cools my face, the warmth and safety of his hands fallen away.

Turned to stone by the suppressed vehemence, I stumble over my words as I swiftly explain myself. “She is an old friend I met at university. We go out for tea or coffee often, especially before I have to go on a trip.”

“Ah, I see.” He hangs his head in remorse, but perks up immediately as if remembering something. “I got you something. Wait here.”

He rushes inside, coming back soon after with two books in his hands which he holds out to me. A collection of Keats’s poems and Songs of Innocence and Experience by William Blake.

The books I read when we met.

“For you,” JB happily announces, the bright proud ring in his voice distorting it to sound like a bark. “So you have something to read when you’re away.”

“Thank you so much. That’s so sweet of you.” I accept the gift, showing my gratitude in the brush over his fingers as I take the books from his hands. “I should get you something in return.”

“Just send me a reminder to take my medication every day.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “That’s all I want.”

I nod. “I can do that.”

“And a text you arrived home safely.”

“Of course.”

“And let me pick you up from the airport when you come back.”

“My, do you have any other demands?”

Lips pursed as if seriously considering the rhetorical remark, Jaebeom tilts his head to the side. “Well, eating together again would be nice. Maybe we can go around town and try out various cafés and go bookshop hopping? I could also cook for you at least once a week, though I’ll have to ask Jinyoung to teach me.”

Oh my God, he really is serious.

Before he continues adding to the evidently growing list, I cut him off. “Okay, okay, I hear you. One thing at a time, alright?”

“Right,” he chuckles, “one thing at a time.”

“I’m gonna go.” With a heavy heart full of reluctance, I initiate our goodbyes. “Go to bed and get some rest before your fever worsens. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Can I have one more kiss?”

“Of course.”

I stand on the tip of my toes and tenderly press my lips against his. “Goodnight, Jaebeom.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

I ascend the stairs, but do not head home immediately. Instead, I remain where I stand and turn around to wave at the wolfish man gazing down at me.

One more moment with him.

Before I set off on the homebound journey in the next.

Above, the moon is waning.

Yesterday evening, Morgan sent pictures of the place she has chosen for our next tea adventure, lyrical about the interior. Since the moment we met, in our first year of studying journalism at the local university, we have been visiting coffee shops and tea rooms around the country and occasionally written an article about them for the university’s blog. Our adventures always begin the same, never having changed in the six years we have known each other.

A picture.

And a rant about aesthetics, reviews, and the potential of having discovered a hidden gem.

The latter might be the case of Moon Bunny Coffee and Tea, a tea room inspired by the French countryside. The far wall is made of bare brick, which forms a strangely yet nice contrast to the white wooden furniture and neatly set tables. From the speakers in the corners of the establishment, instrumental pieces and French songs alternate each other to enhance the atmosphere that makes one feel as if they are truly in France. And if the interior does nothing for the imagination, the pastries and beverage names noted in French on the menu will do the trick.

It’s only recently opened and is run by a young couple. Élise, the owner, has opened this establishment after working in various patisseries in Paris during her teenage years. However, she has now settled here with who I actually presume rather than know is her partner. According to the context Morgan sent, the tall guy with pale blond hair, oval narrow face and a leather necklace with a strange bauble - that seems to change colour - hanging from it is called Mark. The level of familiarity between the two as they work makes it easy to assume there is more than friendship, hence the suspected relation between the two.

“So, have you seen him again?” Morgan takes a sip of her cinnamon and apple tea, a smirk on her cherry red lips.

I told her about Jaebeom and the strange first encounter with him. Regardless of the weird amiability that grew between us as the hours passed in each other’s company, I could not help but remain wary. After all, the bookseller has a particular reputation thanks to the rumours created by the local gossip mill. In hindsight, it’s idiotic I used those groundless stories in my analysis or, rather, overanalysis of the kindness he showed me. Yet, I did, though they sound as absurd as they did before now that I know him better.

Notwithstanding, whereas I was losing my sanity anxious bit by anxious bit as I told her about it over the phone, Morgan’s enthusiasm grew at the same rate. Each argument in favour of the concern about my strangeness or far-fetched theory he was merely polite, she countered with a more realistic view on the situation. In the end, it’s also her input which led to me dropping by Paper Souls on the way to work and back on a daily basis.

And I’m glad she’s part of the reason I did because I might otherwise have given up after the third day of seeing the bookshelves cast in shadows.

“I have,” I admit, unable to suppress a smile at the memory of our outing to the park.

And what came after.

The memory of the chafing of his moustache triggers a phantom of the loving warmth of his lips on mine. Cheeks heat up, remembering the roughness of his sturdy hands. A sharp sting followed by a throbbing treks through my wrist again, the half-healed wound suffering from a pleasant phantom pain.

“Judging by that grin of yours, you’re not telling me everything.” Morgan cuts her scone in half and smears some of the homemade strawberry jam it comes with on one half, followed by a dollop of clotted cream.

I nibble on the rice cake filled with red bean paste. Maybe it’s not a perfect partner to the tea I chose although it makes for a delicious combination regardless. The taste of red beans is an acquired one, but the subtle sweetness evens out the bitterness of the beverage. “We went on somewhat of a date.”

“Somewhat?”

“It kind of just happened.” The whiskey tea I ordered is stronger than I thought, howbeit not in an unpleasant way. Like the real drink, it goes down smoothly and warms the body from within. “He offered to go out for lunch in the park and I agreed. It was nice. Really nice.”

Especially his body heat, the safety of his presence. How protected I felt despite not knowing him all that well.

“And?”

“And?” I repeat like a parrot. I know what she’s unconsciously aiming at, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll tell her outright. It’s always fun to tease the raven-haired woman a little.

“Details, lass!”

“We kissed,” I say, the confession hardly louder than a whisper. ‘’And I was the one to initiate it.’’

“How scandalous.” In fake shock, she clasps her hand over her mouth. “You’re a bold one, Y/N.”

“Oh, stop it.” I take a sip of tea and point at the other half of her scone. “Clotted cream with jam instead of the other way around now?”

As a fierce defender of both sides of the old discussion, Morgan indeed now smears the fluffy white cream on the other half first before she tops it off with the jam. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do, but I’m not sure if there’s a future for us.” I lean back, cross my arms and look out the window.

A little distance away, there’s a metal bench and somehow an image of myself sits on it, alone. No wonder she looks glum because she is the me of the future, a woman who’s heart was devoted to the type of love that is, like humans, a plaything of Time.

She tilts her head to the side, brow furrowed. “How do you mean?”

“It’s not my place to say this, but,’’ I turn back to her, absent-mindedly rubbing the mark on my wrist, ‘’he told me he has this condition that’s kinda like dementia, but he gave off the impression it’s also not. I don’t know what’s going on, only that there’s a deadline. A cruel one, and while I know avoiding it is futile, I’m not ready to face it nor will I ever be.”

The confusion on her face lightens to understanding concern. However, despite her features softening, there remains a hint of brooding in her attitude. “I see. It’s like that,” she murmurs cryptically as she takes a bite of her scone, more to herself than as a reply to me. “The story is repeating itself.”

“Morgan,” the mention of her name makes the raven-haired woman snap out of her reverie, “what do you mean?”

Instead of providing a proper answer, she dismisses the questions with a vague gesture. “Just the murmurs of an old soul.”

There is inherent beauty in the medieval cities of Europe that leaves one in awe wherever they go. Furthermore, the shops specialized in local goods and hidden gems add to the flair of narrow streets enclosed by tall buildings that breathe history. Nevertheless, regardless of the ancient beauty, there is nothing which can compete with a warm bed at the end of a day full of running from one end of the town to the other in search of the best chocolatiers.

Well, there is one thing.

As I’m putting on my pyjamas, my phone gives off a light buzz, indicating a new message.

Jaebeom: Can we video call? I miss your face.

You... You miss seeing me?

In spite of the unease of not having makeup on, I oblige and call him first. It has not even gone over once before messy black locks show up on screen. However, before he can have a good look at me, I quickly slink beneath the blanket.

“What’re you doing?” He, too, is in bed howbeit without any insecurity whatsoever. In fact, he is more than comfortable wearing not even a top regardless of the chilly weather, leaving defined collarbones and defined chest muscles on display.

“I’m not wearing makeup, so I look horrible.”

And you showing up like this doesn’t help either.

Because the bare skin, little as it is, unleashes a storm of butterflies in the stomach. The temperature in the room rises or maybe it is simply my body reacting to the aching to run my fingertips over his definitions, the features that unintentionally unleash an absurd frenzy holding the middle between unashamed love and lust. The cheeks heat up as the need for the thick comforter decreases yet the growing discomfort is not enough to come out of hiding.

“I’m sure you don’t.” Either intentionally or not, he puts on irresistible puppy eyes. The well-meant tenderness in his voice also stirs something in me, charmed by the kindness. “Please don’t hide. I want to see you.”

Although reluctant, I lower the sheets.

Only to want to pull them over my head at his words and the stupidly bright smile accompanying them. “You’re even prettier like this.”

“Shut up, you weird wolf,” I grumble, jaw clenched as I strain myself not to hide again. To distract us both, I change the topic. “Did you take your meds?”

“I did! And I mean it. No, no, no! Get out from under there. Y/N, come on. I’m not lying. You are pretty. And caring and nice and-’’

“You’re handsome.” I glare at him, peeking just over the edge of the sheet. Unfortunately, my revenge isn’t successful since it merely yields a low chuckle.

Though it seems the victory is still mine because he bites on his bottom lip and softens his voice further to a timid whisper. “Even with my new look?”

He shows off the mess of his shorter black locks, which are shaved on the side and longer on top. It’s a shame to see the long hair go because I personally think it suits him better, but he pulls the cooler style off too.

“Even more so because of it.” Although they’re essentially minor changes, it casts Jaebeom in a whole other light. He’s still a wolfish man, and I doubt I’ll ever see him as something else, but the new look gives him a more human allure. As if he’s tuned in better to life in the city instead of wandering the rough landscape in his mind.

“I’ll tell Jinyoung he did a good job, then.” He gets up on his elbow, a view of the upper part of his chest filling the small screen. The veins in his hand form mellow ridges on the back of it, highlighting a few patches where the skin has scraped off, as he fluffs his pillow before lying down again and snuggling into it to get comfortable. “How’s Bruges?”

“It’s a really pretty city. I think you’d like it.” A wistful smile forms on my lips, in part dazed by the entrancing sight a moment ago. “I wish you were here. Wish we could get lost forever... together! I mean, get lost together. Here. In the city.”

“Are you getting sleepy?” His features soften into a dreamy expression though a cheeky spark illuminates the night sky in his eyes.

“No,” I fiercely protest. That is, until an involuntary yawn escapes me, which makes it impossible to hide the fatigue of running about town the entire day anymore. “Maybe.”

“Go to sleep, Y/N.”

“Don’t want to. We’ve only been talking for a few minutes.” I conceal another yawn by pulling up the comforter.

“You likely have another busy day ahead. So go hit the hay and I’ll talk to you in my dream.”

“Who says I won’t do the same?’’ I remark smugly, proud of the comment that pops up and is too tempting not to make. ‘’Wouldn’t that make it our dream?”

“We’ll talk in our dream,” he corrects himself, a content hum following the correction. Notwithstanding, the delight darkens into a stern seriousness as he tries to look over my shoulder to scan the room, to inspect every nook and cranny instead of what’s on display in the background. “By the way, what’s your colleague doing? Are you alone?”

I roll my eyes and sigh. “He has his own room because he tends to want more of the local taste, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t.” A deeply puzzled expression forms on his face, clearing the spine-chilling suspicion. “Is that code for something?”

“An affair, JB. My colleague more often than not enjoys a one-night stand, if not more, with local girls. It depends on how long we’re away.”

“Have you ever done that?” It has to be the exhaustion, but the question strangely sounds like a whine.

“Never. In fact, you...” I bite my lip as my stomach ties itself into a nauseating knot, chest constricted with bleak worry about what he will say about the confession balancing precariously on the tip of the tongue. However, I swallow hard and continue the unfinished sentence. “You’re the first guy I’ve dated.”

“We’re dating?”

“Are we?” His question makes me wonder if we actually are, if I didn’t jump to a fantastical conclusion. Then again, we kissed, went out together, and drank coffee in his shop. Nevertheless, also judging by the curiosity in his response, I doubt it’s right for me to assume it’s true. “Well, maybe we aren’t. After all, we’ve only been to the park, so I suppose-’’

I’m wrong, because we barely know each other and yet. Yet, I kissed him. And he kissed me back. Is that anything to go by, a valid reason?

“We’re dating!” The sudden outburst catches me as much off-guard as the enthusiastic addition or, rather, plan for when I return. “I’ll cook for you after bringing you home. Afterwards, we can just sit on the couch and read. You can also nap on me to cure your jet lag. Does that count as a date?”

“I don��t know if it does according to the official terms, but,” the fatigue ebbs away, replaced by the giddiness of going home as soon as possible, “it does to me.”

“Two dates,” he murmurs thoughtfully, nodding as if confirming an unspoken notion. “We’re dating.”

Weirdo.

I watch him analyze the situation, overcome with affection. When he bites down on his index finger to suppress a broad grin, I almost have to do the same.

“I wish I was there with you,” Jaebeom eventually notes to break the twilight hush, at last content on where we stand. The yearning of the wish is tangible in my bones because I feel the same way, though I try not to show it. “I should’ve given you a shirt or something, but I wasn’t sure if it would be good. That’s not the word. Ap... ap... appropropiate? Appropriate. If it would be that.”

“I do have the books you gave me, so I do have a piece of you here.”

But I do miss your scent. Wait, that’s weird to say. I shouldn’t say that.

Though it’s indeed strange and I don’t tell him, it isn’t a lie. Jaebeom does smell nice, like a wild forest in which the air is scented by a cologne that barely conceals its secret. The ferocious guardian in the shadows.

“Still, I wish I had given you something that marks you as mine.” Gaze downcast, the big wolf man pouts at the thought, sulking.

“You have.” I hold up my wrist, the place where he bit me now nothing but a red blotch.

“It’s almost gone. I should renew that once you’re back. A shirt and bite. That should show other males we’re together,” he muses, the disappointment gone in an instant as his focus changes.

“Totally not possessive, are we?”

“I’m not,” he grumbles. “Just marking my territory.”

“JB, you are.”

“Does it bother you, make you upset?”

“Yes and no.” I take in a shaky breath, distracted by the thought of the implications I want him to be. After all, something about the feral allure melts any resistance and lets me slip into a headspace I didn’t know I had.

Somewhere, deeply hidden in the brain, there’s a different woman, a different ego. A part of me which wants and needs him. That doesn’t mind being his possession.

His mate.

“Don’t get me wrong-’’

“How can I get you good?”

The unintentional play on words uttered by urgent yet confused puppy eyes distracts me from the splendid explanation I wanted to give him.

How... How does he do it? Does he even know what he’s doing? Never mind.

“Don’t misunderstand me,” I begin anew, “I appreciate your concern for me and I really do feel safe with you. But you bit me. In public too! I get it’s your way of telling me you like me and maybe I don’t actually mind the mark you left behind so much-’’

“So it’s not the biting?” A boyish smirk plays on his lips. Had he had an actual tail, it would have been swishing heavily with a dangerous cheer. “I can do it again?”

“No.”

Maybe someday I’ll let you. But not anytime soon.

“But you said you didn’t mind my mark. If that isn’t a problem, why can’t I refresh it?”

“Jaebeom, please, let me finish talking.”

“Sorry.”

“Thank you.” I take in a deep breath. “Now, normal human couples don’t bite each other to let others and one another know they belong together. So let’s try to find other ways to do just that. Commonly, the girl wears the guy’s shirt. I think that’s a good starting point for us.”

“What are other ‘ways’?” he asks, evidently not too keen on the idea.

I tilt my head, trying to come up with the most frequent ways in which people casually express being taken without immediately suggesting obvious physical marks. “Necklaces, bracelets and rings are common couple items. Some even go as far as getting matching tattoos.”

“I like the sound of that, a tattoo. Permanent. Permanent human mark.”

“Let me think about that one, okay?”

“Okay.” He nods in agreement. “But, if I understand you correctly, I can give you a shirt.”

“You can.”

“And you’ll wear it because it has my scent on it.”

“That’s kind of the idea behind it,” I confirm, glad he understands the underlying meaning despite not explaining it.

He looks down at his chest only to discover he’s not wearing anything. The glance over his shoulder falls on a black shirt somewhere behind him. He turns away, grabs the piece of clothing and holds it tightly against his body when he turns back to me. “Sounds good to me.”

I guess I’ll be given a ‘welcome home’ present.

#GOT7 #GOT7 smut #GOT7 fanfiction #Jaebeom #Im Jaebeom #Werewolf AU #GOT7 Werewolf AU #Werewolf!Jaebeom

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glamrockmonarch · 3 years

Text

Honeypie: Rufus Taylor Fluff

From the Miscellaneous Masterlist, following Keep Me.

Requested: YES.

Pairing: Rufus Taylor x Fem!Reader.

Type: SFW, Fluff.

Summary: Following “Keep Me” Y/N and Rufus have a newborn baby to bring home and care for.

Warnings: None.

A/N: I could not resist writing this one since Anon asked about it. Also, I've had the toughest week in a while... so many life changes in so little time (I will not talk about it tho) and this piece might not be what people were expecting. I hope it is still enjoyable as I pushed myself to stay true to my word and have something to post today.

Y/N and Rufus are learning the hard way, but the most difficult and perhaps important lesson of them all for any parent out there is the first one they learned. On a Sunday night, merely five days away from their due date, Y/N started feeling “odd”. With a large belly, heavy with their baby, she tried to sleep while Rufus reassured her that it was fine.

“It’s fine. It will be fine!” He had said in an increasingly pitchier and pitchier tone before leaving her alone in their room so she could lay down on her side and try to catch some shuteye, which had been so elusive those past few weeks when their baby grew larger and more active. A kind reminder that her chaotic boyfriend was the father and now there was going to be a Mini-Rufus raising hell in their home.

Babies do not know of time, nor do they care. They are babies! And theirs was no special genius thoughtful baby. Rufus figured this out the moment Y/N began rubbing her belly that evening while they were watching tv. And he was nervous about it.

Like most things, it turned out to be okay. He called his mother first, trying his best to stay both calm and quiet. The rest of the night was a stressful journey. Getting Y/N to the hospital after her water broke and then waiting. The waiting was so much worse than either of them thought it would be. Among the machines and the weight of that uncomfortable state right before delivering a baby, Y/N almost swore to her boyfriend she was not having any more children. Almost.

The birth was not easy on Rufus; he glimpsed between Y/N’s legs and went pale in the face at the sight of a head coming out of her body. Certainly not a clean one, covered in blood his baby would be coming into the world. “Here’s the head!” One of the midwives announced, at which Rufus looked back at his girlfriend, desperate to know she was alright as the miracle of life wrecked her body. He would have an interesting conversation with his mother someday if he did not repress the memory of his beloved pushing a full baby out of her very own vagina.

Everything that they went through made sense at exactly 11:52 pm when Y/N held their baby girl for the first time, small and delicate she held on to Rufus’ finger with a pale hand soft and fragile. Ivy Jayne Taylor (as they named her) was perfect, which had the couple crying with happiness. Their baby, still swollen and somewhat funny coloured, laid between their arms at last. She had not been what people may call “planned”, but she would not be lacking any love because she had been “wanted” since the moment Y/N knew the news. Ivy Jayne Taylor’s parents had made her from their own love for each other, a love that had been born from a small seed of friendship and grew with time. A love that rooted itself healthy, strong and steady in both hearts like a tree. And she was now a new seed of love in those two hearts.

A day later, with the thumbs up from the doctor they were able to go home and arrived back to a quiet crowd waiting to meet Ivy Jayne. A mixture of Taylor’s and Y/L/N’s revolved around Y/N to watch baby Ivy as she slept in her mother’s arms.

“Ow, she is so pretty!” Lola whispered over the new mum’s shoulder.

“Oh yes…” Debbie spoke softly, touching the baby’s head with cautious fingers. “She’s got those Taylor genes, doesn’t she?” She smiled.

Indeed, the baby had a full hair of pale yellow hair already covering her head.

“Rufus, you did good!” Lilly squeezed his arm as he came back.

With the bags already upstairs he gave his sisters a tired side smile and walked up to his girlfriend and daughter. “You want me to take her?”

Shaking her head, Y/N was unable to look away from the petit features of her baby girl.

“You should rest too,” her mother said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Do it while she’s asleep, trust me you’ll need it.”

Everyone in the kitchen who had a child stirred a laugh or nodded.

“I don’t know, it feels weird…” Y/N admitted, her Y/E/C eyes turned to Rufus, “I don’t want to leave her anywhere.”

“We’re home,” Rufus reasoned. “it’s okay.”

Hesitantly, Y/N put Ivy on Rufus’ arms and watched him coo at her when she moved. Their baby looked even smaller in his embrace but the sight comforted her as he was joined by Felix, the two with a similar smile adorning their faces.

The blond drummer took their baby upstairs and she sat by the kitchen bar to chat with her relatives. Her mother had brought groceries and filled their fridge “enough for a week or so” she said.

The visit was not very long, everybody was aware that Y/N would probably want to rest even if she was smiling and listening to the conversations.

Rufus was only somewhat less exhausted, although the dark circles under his eyes stood testimony to the quality of sleep at the hospital the previous night when he could not leave his daughter’s side.

Not five minutes after the couple was left alone for the first time at home with their little baby did she start crying.

Ivy was a tall baby, still delicate and still small. She had proved how tough she was when she had her ears pierced at the hospital, the nurse thought she was going to go mad with anger and pain but the little blonde baby pushed her gloved hand away and gave a lazy moan. Now… babies are usually a lot less easygoing when they are taken home.

“What could she want?” Y/N turned to Rufus with their baby in her arms.

“Is she hungry?”

They tried to feed her, but Ivy was uninterested in mama’s breast.

“...maybe a clean diaper?” Rufus offered again, his astonishing unprofessional opinion, but that got them nowhere still.

Even worse, their baby’s loud wailing was getting louder with desperation.

“Rufus,” Y/N was frustrated but she managed to stay calm. “Hold her for a sec, okay?”

She decided to call her mother and ask for advice. Of course, when she left the room and found her phone in the kitchen with a bit of good advice from mum to go back upstairs to the nursery she found Rufus pacing with a silent and quite pleased looking Ivy pressed against his chest.

“Wha-” She stood in the doorway and smiled at Rufus. “How?”

He turned to her, grinning. “Figured maybe she is just like you,” he explained, “so all she wanted was to be held.”

Y/N sighed and looked away feigning annoyance, “that’s not all I want…”

“I know, you also like f-u-c…”

“I get it,” she interrupted with a straight face.

Rufus put his hand out and signalled for the new mum to come to him. She complied, going to him and wrapping her arm gently over their baby girl as the other went around Rufus’ waist. Rufus held her to his side and kissed the top of her head.

“You’ve just taken all the bragging rights available in this relationship, I will never make anything as perfect.”

Y/N followed his gaze and squeezed him in her embrace once she realised he was watching their daughter with adoring eyes. So he was going to be that kind of dad.

“Couldn’t’ve done it without you Ru.”

...

#rufus taylor #rufus taylor x reader #fem!reader #reader insert #x reader #rufus taylor fluff #honeypie

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aotopmha · 3 years

Text

Attack on Titan Series Thoughts

I've been mulling over Attack on Titan's ending and how I'd rate the whole story from all kinds of angles and I've reached the conclusion that above all else, the ending is really fucking annoying.

A great or a terrible ending would help me make my mind up much more easily.

If it's great, it's great. If it's terrible it's a good story with a terrible ending.

But instead, it is a mixed bag: there are things about it I like a lot and things about it I don't like.

It is a very common belief that the ending is paramount to a story's quality, but I've found that this is not really true for me. My favourite anime ever pretty much doesn't even have a proper ending. My needs for an ending basically encompass some sort of sense of closure and that's about it.

Especially longer-running series often either make the journey worth it just by being as long as they are (so a pretty generic ending is okay) or fall off in quality long before they are done. But AoT is neither of these for me.

AoT in this sense is complicated for me because I can't decide whether the ending impacted the quality of the story or not depending on which aspect of the ending I focus on.

Some details make it immensely satisfying to me and some details sour it a little bit.

I think right now the good and bad things balance out so in general nothing changes about how I view the story overall.

In basics, I really like the emotional core of Attack on Titan, but I've always found it flawed on the technical level.

I'd give the story a 10 just for how much it emotionally engaged me and made me care. This story is the reason why I started this blog and I became active talking about media in the first place.

For a time I was losing the sense of fun of being a fan: people just became really hostile when discussing stuff.

But this past week or so has been incredible in my inbox, reminding me of the highs of being a fan, with so many wonderful messages.

Other stories have made me more angry, made me cry more or laugh more, but AoT made me feel the biggest spectrum of feelings.

No other story has made me do this, at most I only became a member of various forums as a random member; I didn't create a blog with the aim to talk about one.

From a technical level, I would give it a 6-7 depending on the section of the story.

The foreshadowing for various twists is pretty loose from start to finish, there is a bunch of redundant scenes all over the story and the pacing can be really uneven. It is not nearly as *well-crafted* of a story in my eyes as I see people praise it to be.

The art is a pretty huge mess at points, too.

I think sometimes the fact that this is the author's very first actual long-running story very much shines through. I think only a beginner would dare to employ historical imagery as bluntly as Isayama did, too, for example.

But to me the emotional core is magical.

The average of these two aspects, emotional and technical, would be around 8-8.5.

But at the same time, when I finished that last chapter I felt like I couldn't rate it and this has rarely happened to me.

I've kind of slowly distanced myself from number ratings in general because consuming media is a very emotional and personal thing and exploring it via positives and negatives feels much more apt.

From that perspective, I think the story is incredibly emotionally intelligent and understands humanity really well.

Stemming from that in turn, I think themes are the strongest aspect of the story next to characters. While I think the story faltered in a some instances when it came to characters, I think the themes mostly stood tall all the way through.

I think it ended up giving answers to and looping back to ideas it started with: seeing the good in the cruel world, facing humanity's unending desire for conflict and need to survive, living without regrets, learning to see the world in more complex shades of gray rather than black and whites and learning to do the right thing when needed.

As a mystery box, it does answer pretty much all of the big mysteries of the story and I think I don't really take issue with any of the big answers except maybe one very specific one. The numerous twists throughout the story range from absolutely genius to fairly typical. Again, the foreshadowing gets a lot of praise when it comes to this story, but I think a lot of the story actually isn't planned. Isayama just uses some details in clever ways to make it seem like it was planned.

I think that is a skill in itself that never gets nearly enough credit, but in the end, I think that is the weakest part of the story along with the world itself.

I like the walls themselves and I really like some of the Titan designs, but other than that I never had much interest in the world of AoT on its own. It always has to be connected to characters or themes for me to care. The crystal cave, time sand dunes and certain Titan skeleton are the most interesting settings in the story for me in that sense.

I think it does also fall in the pit of some pretty frustrating dark fantasy tropes, most specifically with a certain blonde female character who had one of the best character arcs in the story that was kind of just thrown under the bus.

It can't quite escape the pitfalls of that genre and it just so happens to be my favourite genre of story, so I constantly see excessive shock value rape, forced pregnancy and gay erasure happen in stories that I think are great otherwise. It's frustrating.

I hoped AoT would be better than that because for so long it was, but it didn't end up being as such.

But at the same time, I think most of its female cast still ended up being pretty great and did some pretty fun archetype-defying stuff. It's a pretty strange dichotomy. It is actually much better than most dark fantasy, but not quite there yet.

This is actually true for the male cast, too, I think. It does some fun playing around with all of the character archetypes.

The story's action scenes are thrilling and some of the action setpieces are really memorable. The final arc really shines in that sense to me. As a horror spectacle it is especially excellent.

Despite sometimes coming across as narmy/unintentionally funny, it still somehow manages to make the Titans a credible threat and this is true throughout the entire story, for different, evolving reasons.

I think the Titans have become iconic for a reason and never lost the luster throughout any of the story.

Along with that, my final point is that it is one of the few stories that sets up a kill 'em all setting that actually kills major characters with substantial focus and commits to it. It also doesn't kill too many characters where no character ever gets to actually develop.

So, considering all of what I listed above, what would my general thoughts be?

I think it still is a story worth checking out.

Personally I obviously love the story as a whole.

But I think any fan of dark fantasy/sci-fi could get a bunch of entertainment out of it: above all I think it is an extremely digestable series.

It's sometimes a very dense read, but I never felt it was a "hard" read. It's a very dark story with a lot of horrible things happening, but I never felt it was difficult to get through even in its darkest of moments.

My favourite characters ended up being Gabi, Reiner, Eren, Pieck, Armin and Annie. Zeke and Hange get a shoutout, too.

My favourite chapters ended up being 71, 82, 100, 122, 131 and 137.

Who are you guys' favourite characters and what are your favourite chapters and why?

Send me an ask explaining why for fun! (Or ask me for my reasonings?)

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moonflower-31 · 4 years

Text

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist

Part 5

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: None, other than some yelling and negative self talk.

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner

~~~~~~~~~

Ever feel like the world just hates you? That everything around you is crumbling? Yeah. That's what you felt right about now.

"Mother?"

"Y/N I have had it with these shenanigans of yours! You promised your father you'd take over the family business! We raised you for this!" The woman scolded, storming up to you and getting into your face.

"H-hey, leave her alone." Spencer spoke up, pushing your mother away from you slightly. The woman then grasped his wrist torturously, yanking him forward.

"You! I don't know what you see in my stupid daughter, but you need to leave her alone! She has a life, a future! A fiancé! She doesn't have time for you!" Your mother screeched. You felt the blood in your veins boil almost instantly. You had to physically restrain yourself from hurting the woman who gave birth to you.

"You don't know me, Mother! You never have! I never wanted the damn business! It's what you and dad wanted! Me? This is what I wanted. For years! But no. No, I just have to take the business." You growl, shoving your mother off of Spencer. He didn't deserve to be in the middle of this.

"What you wanted? Pah! This isn't about what you want! It's never been about what you want! God you're such a selfish child! Always have been! And yet here I thought Peter was a good fit for you-"

"A good fit?! Mother do you know the contents of those creepy-ass letters he sent me? If I was in the BAU back then, I would have sent these to my director to get him arrested for harassment!" You seethed, your fists clenched at your sides.

"Oh boo hoo! You have an admirer! He was set to marry you! Do you blame him for wanting you?! The children you two will produce will be the future of our company. And you will listen! You are coming with me back home and you will marry Peter Calvin! And you will finish business school to take over the company-" your mother reached out and grabbed your wrist instead, beginning to try and drag you out the door. You feel a sudden panic enter you, and before you can realize what you're doing, you have your mother pressed against the hard tile ground.

"I said, NO." You hiss. "I changed my last name because of that bastard. I left home. I got my own schooling. I made a life for me. Not you. And I'm not about to give into your empty threats again." You have your face close to her ear, pulling at her arm. She grunts from underneath you, about to open her mouth and most likely make herself out to be the victim.

But instead you pulled harder on her arm. "No. Don't you dare. Everyone in this room knows now how much of a bitch you are. Now, I'm going to let you up from this floor, and you are going to lose my number. I will only come around to see Arthur on his birthday and Christmas. He has my number. He can call me. I never want to speak to you or my father again, understand?"

"You bitch… do you know what you're subjecting your brother to? What responsibility that you're wasting on him? You are a selfish, no good brat. He doesn't deserve the position. You were born to meet this purpose! Not him! He was an accident-" your mother began to snap, standing up once you let your foot off of her.

"A happy one at that. He was the only solace I had through all of your lies and all of the pressures you put on me. I wish I could forget you. Forget you even exist. But unfortunately you do. But I will live like you don't, just to spite you."

"Why you little bitch-!" Your mother screeched at you, beginning to make an attempt to lung at you.

Then Spencer side stepped in front of you, glaring down at the woman who you called your mother. "I think it's time you leave. If I hadn't stepped in, we could have charged you with the assault of a federal agent. Do you know how many years in prison that is? Approximately 8 or more years, depending on the circumstance." Spencer practically spat, glaring harshly into your mother's e/c eyes. The only trait you shared with her.

"You can't lie to me! She isn't even past being a secretary-!" Your mother insisted, attempting to shove Spencer away. However, he was an immovable force, despite your mother's unrelenting determination.

"Actually, she just graduated from the academy, making her a federal agent. She works alongside my teammates at the BAU. And in my opinion she has done more good to this world than being the business woman you tried to make her." Spencer expressed, catching you off guard. Did he really feel that way? After only one case? You felt a thumping in your chest, proving your heart to be nervous.

"But she's-"

"A valuable member of our team. And I believe we would be sorely mistaken to not take her on as a full agent at the end of her shadowing period." Spencer interrupted, a slight smirk on his face. He crosses his arms, blocking your mother further from getting to you.

"You-you-!" She growled, knowing she had lost. She snarled harshly under her breath, turning her hellfire-like gaze towards you. "This isn't over-"

"Yes, it is, Margaret." You hurled back.

And with that, your mother turned and stormed out of the building.

It felt like a massive weight was lifted from your shoulders, making your legs feel numb. Spencer turned around and managed to catch you before you fell, letting you brace yourself against his arms.

"Are you okay?" He asks. You sigh. Bless this man for being so selfless at a time like this.

"Does it look like I'm alright? My controlling ass of a mother just tried to force me back to a life I hated." You snap, squeezing Spencer’s forearms to steady yourself.

"S-sorry… I-I meant physically."

"No, Spencer…" you sigh, shaking your head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. I just… it's a long story. And I didn't expect her to have been able to find me. I did enough hacking to be able to hide myself and my paper trails. At least from the people who used to know me. I'm fine, physically. But emotionally and mentally? That's a whole other story." You felt exhausted. It was like after a long and tiresome journey, the hero had to fight one last monster.

"That's alright, I completely understand. Do… Do you want me to take you home? I don't think I'd trust you behind a wheel right now." Spencer lightly chuckled. You feel a gentle smile form and you look up at Spencer teasingly.

"What? Is my amnesia really that bad, doc?" You tease. He rolled his eyes, a smile forming onto his face after seeing yours.

"If I say yes, will you be a good girl and let me drive you home?" He asks. You feel your cheeks immediately brighten at his words. You had never been called a 'good girl'. Much less had you ever been called it by someone other than your parents. So why the hell did it make you feel certain things? Make you feel tingly?

You give him a nod, unable to fathom just what the hell he just said to you. He smiled at you warmly, helping you to stand straight as he helped walk you to his car.

What the hell even was this day? This entire week?

○●♡●○

"S-sorry it isn't much." Spencer apologized, unlocking the door and holding it open for you. You smile at him and walk into the apartment.

It wasn't massive, but it was damn sure fancier than the apartment you and your friends rented. It wasn't without color, but it wasn't overly decorated, like a bunch of rich apartments you'd seen on the way up the stairs. Let's just say some people didn't know how blinds worked.

"'Isn't much'?" You asked in a scoff, looking around the apartment in a slight twirl. "Reid, it suits you. And you are more than 'isn't much'." You insist, stopping where you were standing. "Besides, it was you who insisted on taking me here instead of my own place."

"Spencer."

"Hm?" You asked, confused by his sudden mention of his name.

"You… can call me Spencer. It's only fair now." He added, his voice obviously full of nerves. You feel your heart melt just a little at his indication. You smile at him, happy that he trusted you enough already to let you call him by his first name. Even though you were so hesitant about sharing yours.

Then that brought about a long, and awkward silence. This had not been how you planned on telling everyone your name. Especially Spencer. And now of course, your mother had to ruin it.

"Look I-" you sigh, unable to finish your statement. You put your face in your hands and groan, gripping at the roots of your hair. You walk to Spencer’s couch and take a seat, hoping that you wouldn't produce anymore tears.

Silence passes over the both of you, making it possible to hear the creaking of the floor as Spencer made his way to your side.

"So… (Y/N), huh?" He asks, taking a seat beside you.

"Yeah… my mother wanted to name me Gwenevere. But my grandfather was sick of the medieval English names and put his foot down. So they settled on (Y/N) instead." You explain, a slight smile curling on your face as you think of your grandfather.

"Well… I think it's pretty. It suits you." He says, flashing one of his smiles at you. Yet again you feel the butterflies start to flutter around in your stomach, making you nervous to even speak.

After a small moment of silence, you were about ready to just stand up and try to get comfortable. Try to sleep. But it seemed Spencer didn't get the memo.

"(Y/N)... I…" he began. You swallowed a sigh, closing your eyes tightly as you braced yourself for this conversation.

"It's okay. I get it. You're curious. I'm the 'Mystery Girl'. But there are some things I think you would be better off not involved in." You assure, laying a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.

"Is there… anything I can know? I know it isn't my place but-"

"Of course. Just… don't ask about Peter, okay? Or...what made me change my last name." You promise, giving him a half smile.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

"Please, call me (Y/N/N). It feels better than (Y/N)." You admit, raising a hand and rubbing your neck.

"(Y/N/N)..." he ponders for a moment. " I like it." He flashes a smile, making you giggle slightly.

"I'm glad you do." You joke, finding you had moved impossibly closer to Spencer and his lap. You clear your throat and scoot a little away. "I...I'd like to get those questions done and over with. Make reliving everything willingly easier to get over with." You give him an unsure smile, looking down at your fidgeting hands.

"Oh...heh, well…" Spencer too let out a nervous laugh before he began, trying to figure out what to even say. To ask.

"What's your family's business? Why did you leave?" He asks. You take a deep breath and begin your reply.

"It's been in my family for what feels like centuries. Really it was founded by my great-grandfather. It got started as an oil company, and then became a stocks and loans company. It's really boring. I never enjoyed looking over the statistics, or any of the graphs my father would try to get me to understand. I… I left for a multitude of reasons. But, one that I can tell you was my parents and their 'dream' for me to own the business. They wouldn't let me go to college unless I went for business. That's why I have the business minor. I had to put up a front, even if I was on multiple scholarships. I just feel bad I'm putting this all on Arthur. If I leave, they're going to try and groom him into taking on the company. Last time I saw him, he was barely old enough for high-school! " You exclaim, your nails now digging into your palms.

Spencer immediately took your hands in his, making you stop clenching your fists so tightly. He rubbed his thumbs against your palms gently, encouraging you to continue if you needed.

"Spencer-" you start, attempting to pull back your hands. He held on strong despite your attempt, shaking his head. "I thought you had a thing for germs-"

"I do. But I can always wash my hands after this. You need this. And you were hurting yourself. If you need to talk, I'm here." He insists, squeezing just enough to make you feel it.

"I'm sorry…" you exhale tiredly. "You didn't deserve to have to get involved today. She… she was always under the impression that I left for a boy. That I discarded everything that I 'wanted' for a city boy. And that my goal to work for the Bureau was a fever dream. A fib."

"That does explain her behavior towards me. But still, she shouldn't have tried to drag you away like that." Spencer expressed, still gently rubbing the indents on your palms. You hadn't noticed it yet, but they had begun to bleed from how hard you were pressing.

"I know. But she's headstrong. Always has been. Once she's made up her mind, god help you if you try to change it." You chuckle, looking away from Spencer for a moment.

"Sometimes…" you begin, getting Spencer to refocus his gaze on you and, in his opinion, your beautiful features. "I-I begin to think my mother is right. That I'm just some selfish brat who couldn't settle for all the 'good' she was given. That I was just hungry for more privilege than I had."

Spencer furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. "No. (Y/N), everything about that is complete bullshit and you know it. You belong on this team. It's where you want to be. There are many studies that show workers who feel a higher calling to their jobs are among the most content in the world. You deserve that, (Y/N)."

You widen your eyes as each sentence came falling from Spencer’s mouth. Where did this come from? Not that you didn't enjoy this. No, it was the fact that no one had ever told you something remotely similar. With or without the statistics. No one had told you that you belonged. And that did wonders on your heart.

You feel tears build up in the corners of your eyes, making the world begin to swim for a few brief moments until you blinked them away.

Spencer reached up and wiped the two stray tears from your cheeks, smiling down at you. "I'm going to make some tea. Does chamomile work for you?" He asks, patting the couch behind you as he begins to get up. The smile you hadn't realized was on your face just grew brighter as you nodded.

"Yeah… yeah that's fine. As long as you sit here with me. I… I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight." You begged, feeling a slight pang of embarrassment for having asked.

"Of course, I'll head back down and get your go bag from my car." He assures, placing a steaming cup in front of you. It currently had a tea bag in it, but the smell was comforting already.

You nod to him in understanding, watching as he went. Once the door was closed, you grabbed the cup and pulled your knees close to your chest. You blow gently on the steaming liquid, letting your mind wander.

Before you could venture too far into your mind, your phone began to ring. You raised an eyebrow and pulled out your phone, answering with a hesitant "Hello?"

"Hey yourself my queen! So, I was thinking, the rest of the girls and I have been wanting to go out on the bar scene. We were thinking in about a week. If we don't have any new cases overlap it. Wanna go?" Penelope rambled, obviously excited. You giggle slightly and smile a little.

"Sure, Pen. Is it gonna be a girls night?" You asked.

"It can be! You want it to be a girls only night, then it'll be a girls only night! We'll talk all about Mr. Junior G Man. And your little crush~"

"Pen-!" You playfully scold.

"No take-backsies! Anyway… how are you? I heard what happened during the case. You couldn't have changed the outcome Sugar." She comforts, making you feel cared for for the second time that day. First Spencer and now Penelope.

"I… I know that. It just hurts is all." You sigh.

"I know. It hurts me to see all these pictures when I have to pick a case. Sometimes it's so hard to choose because I want to help them all." She confides. "Also, this is kind of unrelated but I love 'Pen' as a nickname. Keep it, please!"

You finally find the strength to giggle again, smiling wider. "Will do. I should probably go though. I'm tired and I just want to get some sleep. I didn't sleep for four days. I think I deserve at least 9 hours." You snicker.

"Yes ma'am! I'll call you again in the morning! Rest up my queen! Garcia out!"

You close your phone and toss it onto the coffee table in front of you, and on top of the copy of Edgar Allen Poe's poems.

You pick it up gently, moving your tea so as to not get any on the book. You then begin to look through it, finding a few that you enjoyed.

About 5 minutes later, you hear the door open again, and the wooden floor creaks as you can hear Spencer walking towards you.

"You read poetry?" He asks. You turn your head and see he was very much go-bag-less.

"Y-yeah. It-s something that has a different meaning every time I read it. It never gets boring." You answer. "Where's my go bag?" You ask.

"W-well… I took a moment to see if you had anything to sleep in, but you didn't. So…" he paused, handing you an outfit from your go-bag. "I'll just let you borrow one of my shirts."

Immediately warning lights flashed in your head. Fuck. Was this too soon? No, he was doing this out of kindness, not because he wanted a damn relationship.

You took the outfit, grateful he had been kind enough to be sure you were comfortable and that you had clothes to change into.

"No… I really shouldn't-"

"It's no problem, promise. I have an extra blanket you can use too." He settles, not giving you time to even respond or think about it.

You sigh, finally giving in and chuckling to yourself. You took a few sips of your tea, waiting for Spencer to return with whatever shirt he had picked out for you to wear.

He soon returned, carrying an old, navy blue t-shirt that had the words

written across the front in worn down orange text.

"This is the only one I could find that would be long enough." He informs, handing it to you. You hold it out and look it over. You felt off for accepting this. You felt like he was your boyfriend and you were stealing his clothes. But he wasn't. And you were just borrowing.

You smile to him and put the cup of tea down onto the coffee table, making sure not to put it on any of the books. Then you stood up and began to look for the bathroom.

"If you're looking for the bathroom it's down the hall and to your left." Spencer informs as you get up. You turn your head and smile once more at the genius.

After a couple minutes in the bathroom, you walk back out, absolutely drowning in Spencer’s t-shirt. And here you thought you were somewhat close to his size.

Spencer looked up from the book you had been reading before and his eyes landed on you and ceased to move afterwards. If he were to be honest, you were beautiful. And seeing you in his shirt made him feel a sense of… well he didn't know. But he had been told it was like companionship. And partially ownership. Like she was actually partially his. But not, in the same way.

"I know, it's huge." You comment, walking over to Spencer’s couch and taking your previous seat.

"I wasn't...I wouldn't say that…" Spencer fumbled, sitting back against the couch with the book in his hands. His eyes were on you though. The whole time. They had followed you the entire time since you had walked out. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

"Then… what would you say?" You asked out of temptation.

Spencer felt a slight wave of panic rush over him. This wasn't too early, was it? He wanted to get to know you better. Especially before he tried anything. But it just felt… right. How could he explain that to you without scaring you away?

"That… I uh, I'd say you look good. It suits you. The school, I mean." Spencer adds at the end, making you laugh.

"That so? You trying to get me to go back to school, Doctor?" You teased.

"That's up to you. Though school is good at opening opportunities to its students. At least college is." Spencer replied.

You laughed and leaned closer to Spencer, yawning softly. You looked over his shoulder at the poem he had opened, and you smiled.

"Read me one?" You asked.

"You...want me to…" he asked, unsure of the clear question you just asked him.

"Read to me. Please?" You asked, yawning again. "It'll help me sleep." You say, batting your eyes pathetically. He laughed gently and nodded.

"Okay okay… let's start with this one." He says, adjusting the book so that he could read it and let you get comfortable.

You snuggled closer on instinct, yawning the biggest yawn you had yet that day.

Spencer hummed for a moment, before he began to read. "Romance, who loves to nod and sing, with drowsy head and folded wing, among the green leaves as they shake, Far down within some shadowy lake, To me a painted paroquet." He began, his voice like honey for your ears as you rested your head against his shoulder. You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like, listening to him read every night with your head on his chest or with you sitting in his lap.

"Hath been, a most familiar bird, Taught me my alphabet to say, To lisp my very earliest word. While in the wild wood I did lie, a child, with a most knowing eye." He continued, almost a spell like trance he was casting upon your eyes. You could barely even keep them open as your body finally was able to catch up with you and encourage some well deserved rest.

"Of late, eternal Condor years so shake the very Heaven on high with tumult as they thunder by, I have no time for idle cares, through gazing on the unquiet sky." You wanted more than anything to stay away for the last part of the poem, but you couldn't. Once you had let your body rest, and finally relax, you were a goner.

However, he still continued, wanting to finish your request even though he knew you were asleep almost immediately. "And when an hour with calmer wings it's down upon my spirit flings, That little time with lyre and rhyme to while away - forbidden things! My heart would feel to be a crime unless it trembled with the strings."

He gently closed the book once the final syllable left his lips. He placed the book gently down on the coffee table in front of the two of you, and grabbed a second book. He had read it already, but it gave him something to say he had been doing instead of getting up and disturbing your sleep. But also, to insist that he hadn't watched how peaceful and beautiful you were. And how he hadn't made sure to count the rise and fall of your chest to be sure you were alright.

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