fallingforunrealisticromance

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Held through the darkness - Hannibal x reader.

A/N: Hello!! its bee a while. truthfully, im not doing so hot at the moment and this was written basically as a form of therapy but hey i felt like sharing. Enjoy!!

Warnings: None

Word count: 1781

Masterlist

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You sat and stared out at the empty world ahead of you. Well technically it wasn’t empty. It was bustling with life. You could see an endless row of headlights, streetlamps making the city below you glow. You thought about how there were thousands, if not more, people down there right now. Each with their own individual lives; with their own families, friends, lovers, exes. Each having their own background, a place they came from, a life they’ve lived. Every single person so full with complex emotions and thoughts from every walk of life. So why did you feel so alone? So utterly and painfully abandoned. Your chest felt hollow. There was a gaping whole where something once lived. It had been so long you couldn’t even recall what used to inhabit it. But whatever it was had been robbed from you, leaving you as an empty shell condemned to drift through life in search of a feeling you weren’t even sure existed anymore.

You didn’t feel sad. You didn’t feel anything. Just incomplete. Your mind raced with thoughts, scanning through your memories in search of something to fulfil you once more as you stared blankly ahead of you.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay here much longer” A voice came from behind you.

You swirled round, seeing the last person you expected to be in your home.

“Doctor Lecter? What are you doing here?” You queried as the man stood in the doorway that led from your balcony back into your apartment.

“I told you I would come to check on you. After that call we had, I didn’t trust that you were okay. Even if you tried to convince me you were” He stated, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly as he looked at you.

Your brow furrowed. You had called him? When? The last time you remember speaking to him was around 3 weeks ago where you decided to end your sessions with him. Not because you thought you were getting any better, quiet the opposite. But you just couldn’t bare to face him with it. Or anyone for that matter. You’d completely drawn away from the people in your life recently, not knowing how to function around them with such a weight on your soul.

“I called you earlier today, after Will said he saw you at the supermarket. He said you looked distressed, burn out.” He explained, sensing your confusion.

It came back to you as he spoke.

“Yes I remember, sorry. My head just feels a bit…foggy at the moment.” You replied, turning back to face the city in front of you.

The doctor took a few steps, coming to stand beside you.

“You are not okay y/n”

“I’m alive aren’t I?” You joked dryly.

“Being alive is not equivalent to living. You’re simply existing.” His words made your stomach drop, your throat feeling a little tighter than it was before.

“Tell me. What is on your mind?”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t want to talk. You just wanted to rot away into nothing.

“I’m fine. Just tired. I’m sorry you drove all the way here for nothing.” The lack of energy behind your voice made it impossible to convince yourself, let alone convince him.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you’re being honest and when you’re not.” His voice was stern, but with a layer of concern weaved in.

“Y/N”

He placed his hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. Your eyes dropped as to avoid his gaze. You’ d grown rather fond of Doctor Lecter in your time of being his patient. You found yourself craving his approval, craving his comfort and affection more than you probably should. The thought of him seeing you like this, seeing the lack of life left in you filled you with shame.

“Why did you even come here? I’m not your patient anymore” You muttered, his hand still gently resting on your shoulder.

“I care about you. Regardless of if you’re my patient or not, I want to make sure you are okay”

Your gaze finally met his, sincerity swimming in his eyes. You wanted to believe him, you wanted to accept his words and bare your soul to him. But you just couldn’t. There was a constant nagging in your head that he was only here because he felt he needed to be, out of professional curiosity. Nothing else.

“I am okay. Like I said, I’m just tired. I should probably go to sleep.” 

“y/n-“

“thank you for checking up on me Doctor Lecter. You can go now” You turned to walk away from him, heading back inside.

“No” He said firmly, causing you to stop in your tracks.

You turned once more to face him. “No?”

“No I am not going to leave.”

You were slightly taken aback by his words. “What? Look respectfully, this is my home. And I really just want to sleep so please can you just leave?”

“No.” He replied, taking a step towards you. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. It is more than evident you’re struggling, and I’m not going to let you drown in this.”

His words were too kind, too caring. It hit you in your chest, sinking down through your stomach. You couldn’t handle this. You need him to go.

“Just leave.” You mumbled, trying to keep your emotions down.

“Talk to me and I will.”

You could feel your anger rising. You weren’t angry at him; you were angry at the world.

“I don’t want you here” You snapped.

“I don’t care” He stepped closer to you once again.

“Get the fuck out of my house Hannibal”

“Tell me what’s wrong”

“EVERYTHING” You shouted, throwing your hands in the air. “Everything is fucking wrong. I am so sick of everything. Waking up every fucking day with this crushing desolate feeling that completely weighs me down. No matter what I do nothing fills it. And if I find something that numbs it for a while, its only every temporary. I am so fucking tired. I am broken and there is nothing I can do to fix it.”

Tears began to flow freely as you continued to rant, your hands threading through your hair.

“I feel like I am going insane every moment of the day. I am so relentlessly burnt out and yet I have no reason to be because  I don’t do anything. I can’t do anything. I just want it all to stop, I just-“

You were cut off as a sob escaped your throat. You fell to your knees, crying harder than you ever had before. Months of pent-up emotion, of fighting down every urge you had came bursting out of you. Your lungs were on fire and your head pounded but you just couldn’t stop. You hadn’t noticed Hannibal sitting next to you until you felt his arms wrap around you, pulling your body against his. Your head crashed into his chest, your hands clinging to his shirt as if it was the only thing keep you afloat. He held you tightly, his hand rubbing gentle patterns across your back as he spoke softly.

“You’re going to be okay. I’m here. Let it out”

You had no idea how long the two of you stayed like that, curled up on the floor of your balcony sobbing into him. You cried until there was nothing left, and your eyes were dry. When you eventually calmed down, Hannibal pulled away from you gently cupping your face to meet your eyes

“I want you to listen to me y/n. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded stiffly as you gazed at him.

“What you’re feeling is real. It is too much for one person to carry alone. I won’t lie to you and tell you there’s an easy quick fix, that will take time. But you need to allow yourself to seek help. You need to share this burden, to allow someone in to guide you through this. It is so easy to let yourself get wrapped up, until your blind to everything except the pain. But my darling, there is so much more. And if you let me, I will be by your side walking with you through it all. Until you see just how fulfilling you can make your life. You will never be alone in this, not as long as I’m around.” His thumb gently caressed your face, the other hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

The earnest expression his face held, along with the genuine care laced into his tone was enough to make you want to cry all over again. No one had ever expressed such a care for you before. You never realised how much you needed it.

“Why do you care so much? I’m nothing but an ex-patient of yours” Your voice was quiet, if not hoarse from all the crying.

A small smile appeared on his face as his eyes scanned yours, as if he was trying to memorise every detail.

“You are so much more than that to me. Over the time I’ve gotten to know you, you have become a beacon in my life. You make me feel a way I have never felt before. I admire you more than you know. I care for you so deeply my darling. I won’t say its love, because truthfully this is all new to me, but it is most definitely close to it. All I know is that I want to be with you, I want to be the person you come to with everything – whether you’re happy, angry, or feeling the way you do now. I want to be the person you share yourself with. If you’ll allow it.”

Your heart swelled at his confession. For the first time in a while, you felt a genuine smile on your face.

“I don’t want anyone else Hannibal. Only you.” You leant forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him close to you.

His arms wrapped securely around your waist, one of his hands threading their way into your hair as he gently massaged your scalp. You melted into his touch, feeling relaxed for once.

“Aš niekada neleisiu tau jaustis vienišam, man brangioji.” He whispered against your hair.

You knew this wouldn’t be easy; even now with Hannibal by your side, this was going to be a hard journey to pull through. But for once, as you sat here cradled in him arms under the night sky, you felt a small glimmer of hope.

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i hope you enjoyed, sorry for the depressing return to posting<3

#x reader #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #mads mikkelsen #mads mikkleson

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

girls r like "but he's my comfort character" and then it's literally the most emotionally traumatized man you have ever seen ever

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

yes i'm over it. yes i think about it 20 times a day

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

The men you meet pt2 - Sherlock x reader

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE!! I am so sorry it took so long, work has been draining the life out of me but i finished it and really hope you enjoy!!

PART ONE HERE

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Swearing

****= Time skip

Masterlist

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Everything had happened so fast. As soon as the metal touched your stomach you couldn't hear a thing. Your whole body felt numb as the voices swum through your ears. How could you have ben so stupid? How did you not clock it sooner? How did you-

"Y/N!" A voice shouted, snapping you back into reality.

"Shit Sherlock do something." It was John, he sounded scared.

Why was he scared? You blinked, trying to clear your vision. Since when had John become so blurry? You heard a shuffle of feet from behind john, whoever it was sounded rather erratic in their movements.

"Y/N? I need you stay awake for me okay? Don't close your eyes" John's voice sounded further away.

You felt something being firmly pressed against your stomach, causing you to look down. There was blood, so much blood. John's hands were covered in it. Your shirt was soaked through. Thats when the pain began to sweep in. Your mind catching up with your body. An excruciating burning sensation overtook you, your head falling back as you let out a scream.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. The ambulance is almost here."

Those were the last things you remember hearing before everything faded to black.

****************************************************************

A constant high pitched beeping noise flooded into your head, waking you from your sleep. You tried to reach to your side, to turn off what you assumed was your alarm clock. But the tearing pain that shot through you brought you swiftly back into real life. You winced as you peeled your eyes open, the harsh lights glaring onto you. You blinked a few times in an attempt to adjust to the world around you.

"Y/N? You're awake" A voice came from beside you.

A warm hand wrapped itself gently around your own and for the first time since you'd opened your eyes, you noticed the other people in the room with you. The hand wrapped around your belonged to Mary, who looked at you with a tearful smile. john stood just behind her talking to what looked liked Lestrade. "

Hi" The words scratched your throat as you spoke.

"How are you feeling? How’s the pain?" Mary asked, her tone full of concern.

"It's...manageable" You replied. Your head was spinning trying to get a grasp of the situation.

"What happened?" You asked.

"You really don't remember? You were dating Moriarty and he-"

"no, I know that" You snapped, cutting Mary off.

Just the mentioned of his name was enough to send a wave of nausea running through you.

"I mean how did i get here? How long have I been here? What happened to Moriarty? Where’s Sherlock?" You reeled off a bunch of questions as your thoughts raced.

"Hey, y/n its okay. Calm down" john said, joining the conversation.

You hadn't even realised the rapid increase of your breathing as you panicked. You took a few deep breaths, not wanting to work yourself up more than necessary.

"please just... someone tell me what the hell is going on?" You pleaded, looking desperately at them.

You could see the sorrow and sympathy held in johns gaze and it made you want to hide away from everyone. You couldn't bare them seeing you like this, knowing that the only person to blame for this situation was yourself. Guilt tangled its way around your mind, followed by a million self deprecating thoughts. You should have been smarter. You should have known better than to trust a man you barely knew. You should have seen the signs. You should have known.

"Moriarty is still missing." John spoke, his words cutting through your thoughts momentarily.

"After he hurt you, he just left. neither sherlock or I stopped him, we should've. Sherlock wanted to run after him but we were terrified about what would happen if we left you. I mean you were quite literally bleeding out Infront of us." He explained, his words making you flinch slightly at the memory. "By the time we'd got you in the ambulance and brought here to the hospital, there was no sign of him."

"We've been looking everywhere, I’ve had units out every day." Lestrade commented. "But he's good at what he does. If he doesn't want to be found, I don’t think he will be"

John shot Greg an annoyed look.

Despair filled your heart. He was still out there. He knew everything about you - where you lived, where you worked, who your friends were - and he was still roaming around freely in the world.

"How reassuring of you Gary" A sarcastic voice you knew all to well came.

The group around you turned, revealing Sherlock standing in the doorway. Any other time you would have been excited to see him, but right now you wanted nothing more than to run away. You saw his gaze shift to you, eyes locking for a split second before you turned away.

"Its Greg" Lestrade mumbled under his breath.

"Moriarty can't hide forever. I'll make sure he's found and held accountable. I'm not letting him get away with this" Sherlock replied confidently.

"He already has" You sighed quietly.

Sherlocks brow furrowed at your words. "What do you mean?"

"Well I’m in hospital aren’t I?" You shot back, annoyance evident in your voice.

"Well yes but-"

"But nothing sherlock. I don’t doubt that he was only using me to get close to you, which he also succeeded in, but he's also completely destroyed my life. And I can imagine that was also part of his plan. So quite frankly, he's already gotten away with it." You could feel a rage growing inside of you.

You weren't even sure who you were angry at, yourself maybe? All you knew was that there was nothing the others could do or say to make this situation better.

"Your life is hardly over y/n. You suffered an injury yes but you will heal and be back on your feet in no time." Sherlock replied, gesturing at your body.

"I’m not talking about the physical side of things you idiot" You semi shouted, your tone taking the detective by surprise. "How the hell am I ever supposed to go back to work, or go to a coffee shop or even leave the fucking house knowing that he could be out there at any moment. How will I ever be able to fall asleep feeling safe in my own home when he quite literally violated any peace I may of had there?!"

A silence descended over the room as they all stared at you, shocked by your outburst. You weren't sure why they were, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable reaction to you given the circumstances.

"Y/n-"

"Can you actually all just leave? I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now okay."

"But-"

"Just get out" You yelled, not looking at them.

After a few moments, they all reluctantly left your room. Mary patted your hand comfortingly as she'd left and part of you began to feel bad for yelling. But as the door clicked shut and your head fell back against the pillow, you didn't have it in you to care about how they felt anymore. Tears flowed down your face as you stared at the grey panelled ceiling in your eyeline. What the hell were you going to do now?

*********************************************************************

“Can you please just come out already? Your going to use all the bloody hot water” Johns muffled voice grumbled through the bathroom door.

It had been a week since you’d been discharged from the hospital and returned to baker street. Everyone was being kind, suffocatingly so. They were all treating you like you were something delicate – like an expensive China set that’s meant to only be put on display and never used in case it broke. There was someone with you at all times. They tried to be discreet about it; Mrs Hudson offering you a game of trivial pursuit every time john and sherlock left, Mary conveniently always being available whenever you decided to venture out of the flat, even Molly got roped into it once when she turned up in your bedroom randomly saying she felt like staying the night. But it was painfully obvious that they were scared. Scared of what would happen if you were left alone. Scared that Moriarty would find his way back to you.

“Honestly, there’s nothing to worry about. Moriarty isn’t stupid enough to go after you twice. Especially not with us all around.” Sherlock said flippantly as you watched him from the sofa. He tried to sound convincing, and he would’ve managed if you hadn’t noticed the way he subtly adjusted his blazer collar. Something you only ever saw him do when he was uncomfortable. Even he didn’t believe you were safe.

You pulled your knees to your chest, your head resting against them as the water washed over you. Being watched all the time was driving you insane, you hated feeling weak and that’s exactly how they were making you feel. You knew it came from a good place, but it was making everything worse. You were forced to act fine, as if the previous events had no impact on you whatsoever. But that simply wasn’t true. You were hardly sleeping – being plagued with the nasty vision of Jim every time you closed you eyes. You couldn’t eat – feeling sick to your stomach any time you even saw a meal. The only moment of peace you felt was when you were sat under the shower, letting the sound and feeling of the warm water rushing over your body drown out all the noise. Which is where you had currently been for the last half an hour. John was definitely right about you using all the hot water but realistically that was the last thing on your list of things to care about right now.

After a few more muffled shouts from the other side of the door, your peace had been well and truly ruined. You sighed, standing up and turning the water off. The cold hit your body immediately and with it returned the hollow feeling inside your chest. Reluctantly you grabbed your towel and wrapped it around yourself quickly, hoping to avoid seeing the scarring that had been left on your stomach.

“Finally” A rather annoyed looking john greeted you as you swung the door open, a cloud of steam following after you.

You didn’t reply, you just rolled your eyes walking past him.

“You seem to be spending longer in the shower on a more frequent basis” Sherlocks voice called out to you.

You turned, your wet hair sticking to your skin as you did so. He was sat in his chair, a newspaper in hand as he casually turned the page.

“How observant” You replied sarcastically.

Your tone had more of an edge to it then you’d intended which obviously caught his attention. His hands stilled in their movements and you could practically hear his mind turning.

“People only do that when they’re trying to get away from something” He counted, placing the paper down so he could look at you properly.

“Well that’s good to know” You chuckled, hoping to sound more okay than you felt.

Your eyes wandered around the living room unable to meet Sherlocks. The truth was that since you’d been home it felt almost impossible to be around him. The whole reason you had been in that coffee shop, the whole reason you’d met Moriarty, was because you were trying to move past your feelings for the detective. Now it wasn’t that you blamed him – how could you? Its not like he knew how you felt – but being around him was a constant reminder of how reckless you had been. And it hurt. On top of that, you were still hopelessly in love with him.

“You know deflecting really won’t help you” Sherlock stated, his fingers interlocked over him lap.

His eyes scanned you, as if he was trying to decipher every thought you’d ever had. And knowing him he’d probably be able to.

“Okay, sure whatever” You replied nonchalantly, turning to head back to your room.

“I wasn’t done talking to you”

“But I was done talking to you.”

“don’t just walk away from me”

“Sherlock I am literally wet and naked in a towel right now. I am not about to engage in some ridiculous deep conversation right now. Let me go and get dressed at least” You groaned, your rolling your eyes at him.

He blinked a few times faster than normal and you swore you could see a hint of a blush creeping onto his cheeks. Clearly your words had had an effect. You smirked to yourself before turning and entering your room.

********************************************************************

You emerged a few moments later, having crawled back into your go to tracksuit trousers along with one of your favourite hoodies.

“Do you actually own any other clothes?” John commented with a small chuckle as you slumped down onto the sofa, curling your legs up under yourself.

“Haha your sooo funny john, look at me laughing” You said, staring at him with a straight face before your lips turned up in the smallest smile.

“I know honestly, I am a world class comedian me.” He replied, closing his laptop before standing. “Right, I’m off. Meant to be taking Mary out to dinner and if I miss our reservation again ill never hear the end of it”

He moved around the room collecting his things before waving a goodbye to you and closing the door behind him. A silence filled the room, which normally you would relish in – but now with you and sherlock being alone, you just knew he was going to try and talk to you. You were right.

“About earlier-“

“Look Sherlock you were right. I was sort of hiding I guess in the shower. I just had a massively long day at work and was just tired. I didn’t even realise how long it had been” You rushed to explain, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the lies you were telling.

But of course considering the way your life decided to pan out, that didn’t happen. He narrowed his eyes at you as he shifted to face you better.

“Why do you feel the need to lie to everyone? Why can’t you jut be honest about things?” His tone was harsher than you had expected it, and it pissed you off.

How dare he have an attitude about the way you were deciding to deal with things.

“It’s better than shooting holes in the wall. Or sticking a needle in my arm to get so high I can’t even remember my own name” You replied, glaring at him.

It may have been a bit of an overreaction, but at this point you didn’t care. You just wanted to be left alone.

“There you go again, deflecting onto me rather than taking a moment to actually tell me what’s going on” His words caused a bitter chuckle to escape you.

“What’s going on? What’s going on sherlock is that I almost fucking died in my own home.” Your voice was getting slightly louder, the anger inside you only building.

You stood up from the sofa suddenly feeling restless. Maybe you did blame him for you being in that coffee shop.

“And since then, everyone in my life has been tiptoeing around me like I’m a bomb just waiting to blow the whole lot of you to shit. And I am exhausted. I don’t need to be smothered, it’s driving me insane.”

You hadn’t even realised you’d began pacing until you noticed Sherlock making his way towards you. He placed his hands on your shoulder, causing you to stop mid pace.

“We are just trying to look out for you. We don’t want you to feel like your alone”

“Well I do!!” You shouted, moving out of his grasp as your emotions overcame you.

A flicker of hurt was evident in the detectives eyes as his hands fell from you.

“I want a fucking moment to just wallow in my pain. I want to have a moment by myself to beat myself up for being so naïve, to be able to actually be fucking upset about losing someone who I thought cared about me. I want to be allowed to grieve  my way through this without someone shoving false happiness down my throat.”

Sherlock stared, his eyes fixed on your rapid breathing and shaky appearance. He’d known you were hiding your feelings, but he’d never expected such an outburst.

“I was alone before all of this and I want to be alone after it. I am sick and tired of being under constant supervision.” Your words caused Sherlocks gaze to snap and meet your frantic eyes.

“What do you mean you were alone before?” His voice was quiet, an odd contrast to your erratic tone.

You just scoffed. “You know exactly what I meant”

“No, I don’t. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Sherlock its not a secret I’m no ones first choice around here. Mary has john, john has you, Molly has tom – hell even Lestrade has Donavon and they aren’t even that close. Everyone has someone and that’s fine I know where I stand. But now with this whole Moriarty thing, I’m like a shiny new toy in a playset.”

You knew how you sounded. Ungrateful, bitter. And you shouldn’t, they were just trying to support you, yet you couldn’t find it in you to be okay with it.

“So just do what you all do best, and leave me to deal with this my way. Please” You begged, your voice desperate as you looked at him with tired eyes.

His heart shattered in his chest, noting the exhaustion that was evident in your appearance.

“I’m not leaving you alone y/n.” His voice was gentle, as if he was scared he would startle you. “I’ll give you space, and the others will, if that’s what you need. But in no world am I leaving you alone to deal with this. I’m sorry if you felt that way before, truly that was never my intention. You’ve always meant a great deal to me, more than most. And the fact that I failed to show you that is a shame.” He watched you intently trying to gauge your reaction.

You couldn’t take it. His tone, his soft gaze. Everything about him was making your heart yearn for him.

“Do you know why I was in that coffee shop? The day I met Moriarty?” Your eyes had begun pricking with tears, your heart pounding as you spoke.

The detective shook his head but remained silent letting you continue.

“You.”

The silence hung in the air for a moment. Sherlock looked confused, his face scrunching up slightly as he tried to understand what you meant.

“I love you Sherlock. I’m in love with you. I have been pretty much for as long as I’ve known you. You were driving me insane, having no regard for your life or wellbeing. And it was all getting to be too much. So I went to the coffee shop to clear my head and- well you know the rest” The confession fell from your lips as you averted your gaze.

A few stray tears slipped down your face but you didn’t bother to wipe them away.

“I can’t be around you. Because every time I see you, I’m reminded that the depth of love I have for you is the thing that caused all of this pain.” Your spoke barley above a whisper.

Your chest clenched almost as if your body was rejecting the words. But you couldn’t lie to him anymore. You didn’t have the energy. Sherlocks mind was reeling, trying to process everything you’d just said.

“I…” He didn’t know what to say.

“Do you know what the worst part is?”

He shook his head not able to give you a verbal response at the moment.

“That as much as it pains me to be around you, I can’t help but yearn to be near you.” You stared at him, the love radiating through you.

His gaze softened a your words warmed his heart. He’d always known he cared for you in an entirely different and deeper way compared to the others in his life. But until this moment, he hadn’t realized that it was love. Or just how deep it ran.

Without much thought, he took a few steps towards you grasping your face his hands and crashing his lips to yours. His thumbs stroked your cheeks as his lips moulded perfectly against yours, moving with such ease as if he’d done this a thousand times before. You gasped slightly at the contact – never in a million years did you expect this from him – but in no time at all, you relaxed into the kiss. Your hands moved to his shirt, tugging him towards you in an attempt to remove any distance that remained.

He pulled away as his chest pressed against yours. His face hovered inches away from yours, one of his hands threading through your hair. A smile washed its way over him as he admired your beauty. All you could see in his eyes was pure, unwavering love. You smiled back at him, a genuine happiness filling you for the first time in what felt like years. He pulled your lips back to his, manoeuvring you until your back hit the wall with a gentle thud. You arched your body into his as an arm wrapped around your waist. His lips explored yours as if he was trying to memorize every curve of you against him.

“Hey, the restaurant closed early so we figured we’d come back here and- holy shit” The two of you jerked away from each other, Johns voice startling you.

You turned to see him standing next to Mary, his eyes wide as he mouth hung open. Mary just grinned, giving you a small nod of approval. You glanced over at sherlock, noticing the slight dishevelment of his appearance where you’d been pressed up against him. Your lips were warm with the feeling of him, already wanting it back.

“What. The. Fuck.” John finally said.

“Uh…hi” You replied awkwardly, your face going red from embarrassment. “

How- When did- You-“ He stumbled over his words, dumbfounded. Sherlock rolled his eyes.

“Get over yourself john, this isn’t the first time you’ve seen two people kiss surely” He shot you a playful look, causing you to chuckle.

“No, but its most definitely the first time I’ve seen you kiss someone. And quite frankly I never expected it to be our flatmate.” He said, throwing his hands up in the air. “

You didn’t? I was wondering what was taking them so long” Mary commented with a chuckle.

“You were?” You and john asked in unison.

“Yes!! The tension between the two of you has been palpable. Honestly its been insane to watch you both skirt around your feelings for months now” She said it like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“I thought I was being quite subtle” You replied, folding your arms over your chest in embarrassment.

Mary laughed “You do realise I used to be like a super-secret spy. It wasn’t hard to figure out”

“He’s the one of the smartest people around and a detective for Christ’s sake, and he didn’t know” You said indignantly, gesturing to sherlock beside you.

“That my friend is because he has no idea how to handle emotions” Mary replied, shooting him a smile.

“Okay so wait, what does this mean? Are you two like…together now or what?” John asked looking entirely lost.

You shifted nervously in your spot, not wanting to look at sherlock. Truthfully you were thinking the same thing, you just hadn’t expected to be put on the spot like this. Mary smacked john on the arm.

“You don’t just ask things like that, honestly.” She rolled her eyes, taking his hand in hers. “We’ll leave you two to talk”

“But-“

“Oh stop whining” Mary dragged john back out of the flat and downstairs.

The nerves filled you as your hands shook slightly.

“So…” You said, trying to alleviate the tension in the room. “I’m gonna go-“

“No wait” Sherlock cut you off. “Listen y/n I…” He took a deep breath; he looked anxious. “You know me. Better than most people. So I think its safe to say you know I’m not great with emotions or talking about feelings.”

You chuckled in agreement.

“But this, what I feel for you…it’s more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t claim to know quite how all these relationships work but I do know that I would love to figure it out. With you.” He concluded, intertwining his fingers with yours. “What do you think?” He waited with bated breath for your response.

He could feel his heart banging against his ribcage as if it was trying to escape his body.

“I think…there’s nothing I would love more” You replied, beaming at him.

He let out a sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. Your head buried against his chest, finally feeling a long sense of comfort.

You didn’t know where this would go, or what else could happen to you. Moriarty was still out there, and none of you knew what his full plan was. But somehow, having sherlock by your side, made the whole thing seem that much easier.  

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @summer-is-0v3r @starlightaurorab @acumberlockedgirl @poemfreak306

#x reader #fluff #bbc sherlock #sherlock reader insert #sherlock fanfic #sherlockbbc #sherlock bbc #benedict cumberbatch #john watson #jim moriarty

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

i need his hands on me

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

The fall from grace - Teaser (Good omens)

A/N: This is the beginning of a good omens fic i’m starting to write, let me know what you think!!

Summary: Metatron threatens to erase crowley from the Book of Life unless Aziraphale returns to heaven. So he leaves, but how will the demon cope with the loss of his lover?

_____________________________________

“I…” Aziraphale froze.

His hands trembled as he lifted them to his lips which sung with the feeling of the demon. Not a warm and inviting feeling, like the angel had always imagined, instead it was cold - gut wrenchingly so.

He stared at the man in front of him, practically swarmed in desperation. Desperate for answer. For him to hear his feelings were reciprocated. And they truly were. It burned a fire deeper inside of Aziraphale more than anything he’d ever felt before.

“Tell him” The angel thought. “Leave with him, run with him. Love him”

But no matter how much he longed to, no matter how much his heart yearned for the demon - he just couldn’t. The risk was simply too high.

“I forgive you” The angels voice faltered as it broke the silence between the pair of them.

The demons shoulders fell, his face hardened as any trickle of hope he may have been holding onto faded away.

“Don’t bother” He replied bitterly.

Without a second though, Crowley turned on his heels and left the bookshop. Aziraphale stepped forward, reaching out for him before freezing in his position. He knew what he was giving up, the connection he was sacrificing. But what would be worse? Losing him know knowing that at least he’s still out there living his life or watching helplessly as Crowley gets erased from all of time.

Aziraphale took a deep breath, trying to calm his trembling demeanor as he watched the love of his life slip away. Tears scarred his face as the flowed freely.

“Are you ready?” The voice made the angel jump. He turned to see Metatron waiting expectantly, a harsh glint in his eyes.

“Uh I…Well yes i suppose so” Aziraphale quickly wiped away his tears, plastering on a false smile and leaving his shop. His life. His home. His love.

_____________________________________

WHAT DO WE THINK?? should i continue??

#good omens #david tennant #the doctor #doctor who #fluff #light angst #doctor who fan art #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #azirowley

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

reblog if you’re NOT tumblr famous, but you ARE tired and kinda gay

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

this has got to be one of my favorites

Something Sweet

Pairing: Sugar Daddy! Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut ahead!!! Thigh riding, public stuff, dirty talk, sugar relationships, power dynamics, dom/sub undertones

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary : A chance run in with a handsome stranger turns out to be the opportunity of a lifetime

a/n: for @the-slumberparty September Bingo Challenge! No bingo for me this round, I got it in JUST UNDER THE WIRE! Takes me waaaaayyy to long to write lol. Thanks for reading, I’d love your feedback! Reblogs and comments are love <3

You placed the candy bar on the counter in front of the very bored cashier. You dug through your purse and pulled out your debit card and handed it over. A queue had started to form behind you as you tapped your hand in anticipation. 

“Declined.” The cashier said, holding out the card for you. Your stomach dropped. You were afraid this was going to happen. You were so sure that you had enough in your account for at least a candy bar. You had paid the overdraft fees from last month, so you should have been set. Your stomach gurgled a bit. You were so hungry. 

“Um, can you try it again?” You asked, hoping it was some sort of mistake, that the bank was just a little slow to catch up with your account. She let out a sigh and placed it in the machine again.  

You could feel the stares behind you. You looked back at the line; directly behind you was a tall man dressed in a suit, checking his watch. He looked like he must be very important. He had dark brown hair that was neatly styled and just a touch of a five o’clock shadow. It was incredibly handsome. His icy blue eyes flicked from his Rolex to you, making you quickly turn back to the cashier. 

“Declined. Again.” The cashier handed it back this time with a look insisting you take the card from her. Humiliated, your cheeks began to turn red. 

“Sorry.” You mumbled as you shoved your card back into your purse so you could clear the shop as quickly as possible. In your haste, you accidentally ran into Mr. BusinessMan. You collided with his body like a brick wall. “Sorry! I’m so sorry! Fuck I’m a mess.” You cried out as you ran past him this time. 

You ran directly out onto the street, the cool air filling your lungs. You dropped down onto the curb to spend a minute catching your breath. You could feel your heart still racing, your body going into fight or flight mode. 

Money, money, money. It all always came back to money. If you didn't have the money for a god damn candy, how were you going to make rent in less than two weeks? Tears threatened to escape your eyes and you squeezed them shut. 

Here you were, no food in your stomach and soon to be no roof over your head. You looked at your phone, a flip phone from 2013 that miraculously still worked. The last text you had gotten was from your mom “Fridge broken. Send more this month.” 

God fucking damn it. 

“Hey! I think you forgot this.” A deep voice called out behind you. You turned to see the business man from the shop! Confused, you grabbed your purse and checked to make sure you hadn’t left your keys or something. The man held the bar you had left at the counter. He held it out to you. You didn’t go to grab it, you just stared.

“Oh. Um, you didn’t have to…” You began but he squatted down next to you and placed the candy on your lap. 

“We all have bad days. Doesn’t cost me nothing to be nice. You look like you deserve something sweet.” He had a very kind smile on his face. It did cost him something though, it cost him more than what was currently in your bank account. “You ok?”

“I’m…I’m ok. I’m going to be ok. Thank you, really.” You could feel the tears spilling over and you started to wipe your face so he wouldn’t see.

“You must really like candy to be crying over it.” He lightly joked, which only made you want to cry more. You let out a little laugh that sounded more like a strangled gasp. It was so overwhelming, the simple act of charity.

“It’s just…really really nice of you.” You gasped, the tears finally flowing freely. “I don’t remember the last time anyone has ever given me something…I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, hey, you’ve got nothing to apologize for.” He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I’m James.”

You gave him your name, finally ceasing your tears. You took a deep breath, you couldn’t just fall apart in front of this kind stranger, he was probably running late to some sort of business meeting anyway.

“You have a way to get home?” he asked, he pulled out his phone and began to tap on it. You nodded your head. 

“Yes, yes I do. I have money left on a bus card, really thank you so much James.” He smiled at you when you said his name. He placed his phone back into his suit jacket. He took your hand and helped you up.  With your spiral into darkness slightly stalled, you took in your savior. He was so classically handsome. When you looked into his blue, blue eyes you felt like you were drowning in them. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, your heart raced. 

“Get home safe, alright doll?” You nodded, clutching the candy bar to your chest. You took off down the street after giving a soft goodbye. The kindness of strangers had given you more hope than you had in a long time. 

You idly wondered about James as you ate on the bus. Your money problems were still lingering in the back of your mind but your thoughts were clear. 

You tore open the candy bar, taking a bite of the delicious treat. The chocolate melting on your tongue, the sugary sweetness coated your mouth. You got a rush from the sugar and let out a sigh. 

Maybe things were going to be ok, it was a sign that the universe was on your side. 

{}{}{}

You put on your waitress face and did your best to keep up the highest energy tonight. You were all bubbles and giggles throughout the shift. You would smile and laugh at every lame joke a customer would tell you.

Half way through your shift the place was packed. You should be grateful it was busy, you were getting good tips but hadn’t had a moment to breathe since you walked out onto the floor. You carefully balanced a tray of shots and an order of bacon-wrapped dates to drop off before you made it to the party that just sat down in your section. The hostess had put them back in the booth that was partially tucked away with velvet curtains. Big spenders for sure. You smoothed down your dress and tossed your hair over your shoulders as you made your way over. 

“Hiii how are we doing tonight Gentle--” You began your usually bubbly opener, voice high pitched and energetic but as you took in who was sitting in front of you, you stumbled. 

James. Your candy savior. The bodega hero. Him and three other men were waiting to be served. He was wearing a new suit, this one with no tie and a few buttons undone from his shirt. Damn he could really rock a suit, he filled this one out perfectly too. FUCK.  

“Ahem, excuse me gentlemen. So what can I start you off with?” You quickly recovered, grabbing your pad and pen and focusing your eyes on the paper. You prayed that with your heavy makeup and fluffed up hair that maybe he wouldn’t recognize you, or maybe just wouldn’t even remember. 

“Hey there sweetheart, hope my good looks didn’t startle you.” His charming grin grew as you bashfully waved your hand at him.

“Oh I'm used to handsome, it's just a little busy in here tonight. Are we just starting out the night? Maybe with some shots?” You offered with a grin of your own. He seemed pretty pleased with your flattery. James was silent as the other two ordered a round of shots, his gaze was fixed on you. You went to turn to put the order in but as you went James’s hand shot out and he grabbed your wrist. 

You froze and stayed.

“Hold on a minute Doll, you didn’t take my order yet.” His voice was low and easy. You lightly moved your hand out of his grasp to put pen to paper. You nodded to him hoping to get his order. “I want a whiskey. Neat. And bring the whole bottle out.”

“Whoa, we’re getting bottles tonight?”

“Sounds like you guys are going to have some fun!” You said quickly writing down the order with a flourish. This time you managed to escape to put the orders in. As you waited by the bar for the orders you felt your heart racing. It wasn’t just the adrenaline of the fast paced night. Seeing James again had put you completely off kilter. It was humiliating, the last time he saw you, you were crying in the street. He must find you so pathetic. If he even recognized you?

James and his party stayed practically til closing, ordering more and more. The bill they were racking up was so notable that Jeremy himself came out to thank them for their patronage. The other girls were all playfully jealous, it wasn’t you who could normally hook in the big spenders like that. 

“Sadly, it seems we’ve got to end it here. Little guy can’t hold his liquor.” James said motioning to the one you learned was named Sam.

“M’fine.” He slurred. The blonde man who was called Steve laughed and threw an arm around him as he swayed. The two made their way to the exit leaving you alone at the table with James. He smiled at you expectantly. You just wanted the night to be done with. 

“Whenever you’re ready!” you placed down the bill on the table. 

“Hold on Doll, I’m ready now.”  He pulled out a shiny black card from his wallet, and quickly scribbled down on the receipt. You took the card with a smile, ready to go charge it. You glanced down on the tip and your eyes nearly fell out of your head. 

He had given you a 100% tip.

“Problem?” He asked, innocently cocking his head to the side. You glanced at the bill again, rereading it as slowly as you could to try to make sure you weren’t mistaken.

“I think you might have mixed up the tip and the total-” 

“No mistake. I’m tipping for the fantastic service.” 

“I really don’t know how comfortable I am with that James. Is this because of this morning?” Your voice was pathetically small. 

“Oh so you do remember me?” He asked flatly. You looked up at him. His sudden tone made your stomach clench. 

“I mean…of course I do but that’s not very professional of me. I’m sorry-” You immediately tried to amend the situation. This was somehow your fault, you could tell. 

“You apologize a lot. You don’t have to be sorry for getting something you want.” James’s tone was no longer angry. 

“I don’t need pity.”

“It's not pity, Doll. You gave me a service and now I’m paying you what I think is fair. I know you probably aren’t used to people giving you what you’re worth. You probably don’t even know what your worth is, do you?” When his icy blue eyes met yours it was like you were really being seen for the first time. You loved it as much as you hated it. 

“I’m not…I’m not worth anything much. Here’s your card sir, have a good night.” 

You ran off, your face hot with humiliation. 

{}{}{}

You had hoped that would be the end of it. Even with the insane tip from James you were still on the outs with your money. Now that rent could be made there was the electricity, gas, and water. Then the money you would send back to your family, oh and food for yourself. You couldn’t forget that. You kept all ten shifts that you had managed to beg Jeremy for. The big night with James made him much more amenable to your requests. 

It was only for a split second but you saw him at the hostess table. With two different men at his side, there stood James for the second night in a row. You whipped your head around and scurried to the back. 

“Wanda, he’s here again. Again!” You squealed to your co-worker who was just preparing to start her shift. 

“Who, Mr. Moneybags? Well aren’t you lucky.” She said, giving you a playful glare. 

“I don’t want to deal with him again. Please take my table?” you pleaded. 

“Don’t need to ask me twice, I’ll be getting that nice tip tonight.”  She tossed her coppery hair over her shoulder and smoothed down her dress one final time before strutting out onto the floor. 

He wasn’t here for you, you told yourself. You were just being paranoid. Wanda was going to have all of them eating out of her hands by the end of the night, you told yourself as you started out towards your first table. You pushed it from your mind. 

But you couldn’t help but glance over to his table, and the glance was more than enough to see that James was not happy. Wanda and her incredible curves didn’t seem to distract him at all. You could see her laughing and chatting but James was a dark cloud.  

Fine, who cares, he was going to give Wanda a ludicrous tip because he was a generous tipper. He wasn’t pitying you, he wasn’t trying to give you charity, that's just who he is. You scamper towards the kitchen to put in your orders and hopefully hide out a while. 

Wanda came back towards the kitchen, placing her orders and grabbing the food that was ready. Her beautiful smile fading into a line when she made eye contact with you. 

“They were really really insistent that it has to be you tonight. Even just to go over and say hi. ” She said, her tone was dry. Nervous butterflies erupted in your stomach. You bit your lip. What could this possibly mean? 

{}{}{}

You were normally pretty steady in your heels, but the floor was suddenly uneven as you approached James’s table.

“Well hi there, gentlemen. I-I can take your drink orders tonight. Give Wanda a hand.” You babbled, trying not to flub over any words. 

James smirks at you victoriously. He doesn’t need to say anything, his eyes say it all. He had gotten his way.  

The party once again racked up a ridiculous tab.  Nothing was stopping him. The rest of the table had cleared out quickly, leaving just you and James. 

He opened his wallet and laid out the tip, bill by bill. He pushed the fat stack to you, not breaking eye contact once. 

It was multiple hundred dollar bills, but you were too stunned to count. The anxiety that had been building since you first caught a glimpse of James again finally came bursting out of you in a tidal wave. You tossed the cash back on to the table. 

“Please stop. I can’t…I can’t keep doing this, I don’t know what you expect from me.”  You gasped, allowing your facade to crack as you stared up at him with tears wetting your eyes. 

You weren’t scared. But you were confused. This sort of attention must have meant he wanted something from you and…you were fairly certain of what that was. 

“This is how this business works, you did something for me, and I paid for your services.”

“I -- I--” Your breath was caught in your throat as he leaned closer to you to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. 

“Poor thing, you’ve never been treated well in your whole life, have you? I know why you’re so nervous. You’re not stupid, you're really smart. I don’t expect anything from you tonight.”

He took a breath and it was like he was stealing the air right from your lungs. “But. I would like to make an offer, if you’d be interested. I just want one hour of your time.” 

“I’m not a whore.” 

He caught your chin in his hand and made you look back at him, his eyes dark and humorless.

“What an ugly word. Nobody’s calling you that doll. Have dinner with me.” His thumb traced over the apple of your cheek.  

{}{}{}

One hour of your time. You kept thinking about it over and over again. It was just one hour. This ostentatiously wealthy man was paying you to have dinner with him. It’s not a crime. But it felt so dangerous. Sneaky and dirty. Part of it was terrifying but it was also…exciting. 

This restaurant was leaps and bounds above your place of work. It was all very classy. You tugged on your skirt just a bit, hoping you weren’t going to stick out. You were brought through the restaurant, up some stairs to a private party room. It was a huge table, with only two places set,  a glow with dozens of candle’s soft light. The walls were all windows, looking over the restaurant the other a breathtaking view of the city. 

James was waiting for you when you arrived. He looked you up and down appreciatively, his eyes lingering. He stood up like a gentleman when you got to the table. He pulled the chair out for you. 

“Oh um, thank you.” You said as he pushed you into your spot once you were seated. 

“No thanks necessary, Doll.” He placed the napkin from the plate on your lap before returning to the seat across from you. The waiter who brought you up took your drink orders before leaving you alone. 

The door clicked closed and suddenly there was a tense silence between you two. What was next? Were you supposed to say something? Or should you wait for him? 

“I trust the ride over was pleasant?”

“Yeah, um, no issues at all. I’ve never been here before, any recommendations?” Why were you so awkward? Should you be seductive? Should you be professional? Was this a business transaction or a date? Every time your eyes met his he looked hungry. For you. It made you flush. 

“You can get anything your heart desires. Pick out whatever has the most zeros next to the name.” He grinned. “The seabass is pretty good too.”

You wrinkled your nose a bit. “It's not too…fishy is it?” 

“Well it is fish.”

“But is it fishy fish?” James laughed at that. 

“It's a fishy fish. The steak is good too, but it's a steaky steak. So you know.” He joked. It made you laugh a bit too. It was like a spell was cast over you, the tension was released and your nerves vanished. The conversation flowed between the two of you easily.  

Your food came, he didn’t bring up anything. He had asked for an hour of your time, because he was going to propose something to you. You had friends who had “boyfriends” who weren’t really their boyfriends. Men who would pay for the fun that night, but they got paid back in other ways. 

You never had thought of yourself as that girl. But here you were. The anticipation made you nervous but you couldn’t deny the excitement.

He ordered dessert for the two of you, champagne and strawberries with cream and chocolate. 

You glanced at your phone, there was about ten minutes left of “your time” that he had purchased. 

“I hope I’m not so boring that you’re counting down the minutes.” James commented as you put your phone back in your purse. You shake your head.

“No I just…we have some things to discuss right? And an hour is what you asked for…”

“I am willing to pay overtime, if you’re still enjoying yourself. But if we’re down to the minute here, we should talk.” He folded his hands on the table. 

“I like you, I think that we can make something together. You seem like you need some help and call me old fashioned but I just can't resist a damsel in distress. I’m a busy man, with a lot of work and a full schedule, not really much time for dating. Not a fan of the apps either. What I am looking for is an arrangement. I want a companion and can keep you very well compensated for it.”

“So you’ve had…arrangements like this before.” You asked slowly. It didn’t make much sense to you. He was so unbelievably handsome. How could he have trouble finding anyone to be with?. He filled out his clothes so well, his strong square jaw made you want to swoon. How could it be you that he wanted? 

“Yes. Does that bother you?” 

“I-I’ve never done anything like this before.” You admitted. You cleared your throat. “What sort of things are you looking for from your…companion.” Your eyes were suddenly very focused on the bowl of strawberries in front of you. You hadn’t had a boyfriend before, but you’d been with men. Your idea of a sugar daddy was always a creepy old man, desperate for a young thing to fuck. But he didn’t seem desperate at all. The way he pinned you with his gaze was making you feel desperate for him. 

James reached out and placed his hand over yours.

“I am looking for everything. I want someone who’ll keep me company at home, someone I can buy gifts for, someone I can take out on dates.” He squeezed your hand, rubbing his thumb in circles over your wrist. “I’d like someone who’s going to stay the night too.”

Your stomach flipped. You knew what he meant. 

“Ah, like, sleepovers?” You giggled nervously. “I was never allowed to have those, as a kid. I always had to watch over my siblings.” 

“I didn’t have any either. Romanian immigrant parents. They didn’t really…get it?” James smiled, it was different from the grin that had been on his lips all night. It almost seemed shy.  “So maybe we should make up for lost time, hm?”

“But what would it be like? Being your…companion?” You were testing the waters. He was being a bit too vague for your liking. The word sugar baby had never been said but that’s what this was going to be wasn’t it? He wasn’t asking you to be his girlfriend. But he wanted you. And you wanted him. 

Should you get a contract? Or was that only something that happened in trashy romance novels?

He picked the bottle of champagne, his veins bulged in his strong grip. He easily flicked the cork off, popped the champagne with a loud bang that made you jolt. He smirked at your reaction. He poured himself a glass effortlessly then stood, walking to your side of the table. He was completely relaxed, in total control the whole time. 

He towered above you as he poured the bubbling liquor into the champagne flute in front of you. You could smell the rich musk of his cologne. He picked it up to offer it to you.

“If you agree to be mine, I would take you out to nice places like this, buy you whatever you like and then we would keep having fun all night.” His eyes sparkled. Your heart began to flutter, his eyes making you feel like you were the only person on earth. And you could get anything you wanted. 

You took the flute from him. You took a sip of the dry sparkling wine. It tasted expensive. 

“Do you want me to quit my job?” You said plainly. 

“Being CEO means I don't exactly have a 9-5 schedule and neither does a cocktail waitress. I don’t want to have to deal with scheduling around each other. Part of this is about you being available to me. You can take a leave of absence?” He was still standing, but had leaned against the table facing you. The CEO drop gave you a slight pause. You knew he was rich but…you were nervous to ask just how rich. Did it matter? You wondered to yourself. He was so handsome, you didn’t need specifics. You needed him.

“I don’t think that's an option for me.” You said trying not to roll your eyes. 

“Trying not to seem too pushy Doll, but…I want you to quit your job. I’ll be your job from now on. I can cover any of the expenses you’d need a job for. Being mine means spending late nights at my apartment, weekend trips to Europe, I don’t want you to worry about anything but me. If you agree, of course.”

He held out his hand to you. “Or is my time up?” 

You grabbed his hand. Your fingers interlocked. You nodded your head. James smiled and pulled you out of your seat. You quickly stood, eyes looking up into the icy blue pools that captivated you. His lips lightly pressed against yours. It was so soft and romantic, you surrendered to him easily. Your lips moved against him, assuring him, assuring yourself, you could do this. 

“You know why I got the strawberries right?” He asked as he pulled away motioning to the nearly forgotten dessert. 

“Yes…I’ve seen Pretty Woman. They bring out the sweetness of the champagne” You replied smartly. He laughed again. You made him laugh a lot, and every time you did your heart would race.

“I got them because I’m pretty sure you have a sweet tooth. And I thought it could be fun.” He scooped a dollop of cream onto a berry and brought it up to your lips. You obediently opened your mouth, taking a bite of the fruit. The bright, sharpness of the berry was contrasted by the fluffy sweetness of the cream. It was so decadent you needed a minute before you could take another bite. 

He pressed his hands against the small of your back and guided you slowly towards him.

He eased down onto the chair, planting his feet on the floor. 

He gripped your hips and pulled you to straddle his thigh. He guided you down and you followed his lead. You slowly lowered onto him.Your crotch rubbed against his thigh, you grabbed onto his shoulders to try and steady yourself. His fingers went to your dress and hiked it up to your waist.

You let out a gasp, your eyes quickly darting to the door. He grabbed your chin and pulled your focus back to him. 

“You don’t have to worry about anything tonight. You just have to be mine.”  He murmured, his breath fanning over your face. Your face was burning with embarrassment, you’d never been so intimate in public before.

He began to tap his heel making you bounce up and down. His hands went to your ass. The delicious friction made you bite down hard on your lip as your arousal started to mount. 

“James ahh--” You tried to ask but pleasure started to rocket up your core. Your eyes rolled back as he continued to rock you on his thighs. He shushed you, burying his face in your neck. His hands finally left your hips and grasped your breasts.  You moaned at the sensation. You wrapped your arms around his neck, arching your back bringing his face to your cleavage. 

Your hips moved of their own volition now, faster as the sweet ache between your legs grew. 

They glided over and over his thick thighs, building in speed as you chased after your high. Bouncing up and down, no longer concerned with anyone who might see. 

“What do you want?” he gasped. Suddenly stopping you mid thrust, his grip on your ass held you still. 

“Huh?” you whined, wiggling your hips a bit, but he held you firm. 

“Tell me sweetheart, how do I close this deal, what do you want?” James whispered in your ear, letting his breath tickle you. 

“I--” You took a moment. Your panties were soaked through, you could feel your slickness on his pants. You felt so wanton, but this was what you wanted. “I want my rent paid.”

“Done.” 

“And I want a new phone.” He just nodded as his lips connected with your neck. You moaned as he lightly bit down on your neck alternating between pain and sweet kisses. You suddenly felt powerful, more powerful than you ever had in your life. “I also have student loans and money for savings a-and my sister’s starting high school this year and she’s going to need a laptop, so--” 

His lips had finally worked your neck enough and collided with your lips. He kissed you so fiercely, so overwhelmingly hot that you completely lost your train of thought and surrendered to it. 

“Deal.” he panted as he pulled away from your lips, his forehead resting against yours. You started to ride his thigh again, desperate for a release as the coils inside you wind together tighter and tighter.

“Fuck Doll that’s right, use me, ride my thigh, you’re mine now. Show you how good it is to be mine.” James grunted as you chased your high.

Waves of pleasure came crashing over you. You writhed on his thigh, your panties sticking to the sides of your walls as you collapsed forward. Pressing your head to his shoulder, you could feel him chuckling.

You liked being his. You felt small in his lap as he smoothed down your dress. He wiped some of the sweat off your brows. 

You take another sip of the champagne. It wasn’t sweet, but you could get used to it.

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

“John is Sherlock’s drug and Sherlock is John’s war.”

That. That’s my roman empire ladies and gentlemen.

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

I need her. biblically.

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

The men you meet - Sherlock x reader

A/N: I'm thinking of making this a series or at least a couple parts but i'm not sure so i figured i'd post this and see what people think. Sorry if theres any mistakes, its literally 6;30am, ive been writing all night. I'm tired.

Warnings; swearing, mentions of a knife??

Word count: 5.4k

Masterlist

****= time skip

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Living in 221b there was never a dull moment. Whether it was sherlock shooting the walls at stupid o clock in the morning because he was, quote-on-quote “BORED”, or john ranting about how sherlock needed to stop using the fridge as a place to store body parts. Every so often you would walk in to find a rather bloody, beaten body on the floor which more often than not was paired with a dishevelled looking Sherlock. You supposed you should be afraid of him, considering the things he was capable of, but you weren’t. In fact you were utterly enamoured by him. Not that you would ever admit that out loud. But it’s true, everything about the raven-haired detective enticed you. His voice, his dry wit, his intelligence – the whole lot. That didn’t stop him getting on every one of your last nerves. Maybe that’s how you ended up in this position.

****

“Sherlock, your phone keeps going off for god’s sake would you answer it?” You groaned, your head falling back against the sofa as the detective’s text notification went off for tenth time that hour.

“I’m busy” He replied plainly, his eyes fixated on the microscope in front of him.

“One of these days I am going to throw that phone down the toilet.” You grumbled standing up to read his messages. “It’s from Greg, says he has a homicide he wants you to check out.”

“Greg?” The detective stopped what he was doing for a moment, his brow furrowed.

“Lestrade you idiot.” You rolled your eyes.

“Oh. Not important then.” Sherlock resumed his work.

“Did you not hear me? He has a homicide he wants you to check out. That’s right up your street.” You said walking over to him.

“Clearly not important enough otherwise he wouldn’t have texted me” Sherlock replied flatly, not looking at you as you rested against the desk next to him.

“Explain.”

“If it was that major, Lestrade would’ve called or barged through the door demanding for my help. You know what he’s like for theatrics. Seeing as he’s done neither of those things, it’s hardly worth my time.” Sherlock ranted with a wave of his hand.

You scoffed. “He’s one for theatrics? Jesus have you looked in the mirror recently.” Your tone caught sherlocks attention.

“What’s wrong with you today?” He asked, looking away from his work.

You shuffled slightly. “Nothing. It’s just- I don’t know.” You sighed looking down at your feet.

You did know. Your feelings for sherlock were causing more issues for you as the days went on. You were beginning to care about him, too much. Everything he did was causing you to fall more in love with him. And it hurt. Not only because you knew he wouldn’t love you back, but because he didn’t care about himself. Every day he would put his life on the line, throwing himself right into the middle of a warzone whether it be with terrorists or serial killers or whatever else, he had no regard for his own life. Whether he lived or died, it didn’t matter to him as long as he was right. But it mattered to you. Loving him resulted in a constant life of worry. The thought of him dying, it hurt your heart more than you cared to admit. As much as the detective meant to you, life before you were in love with him was a lot simpler.

“You’re lying.” Sherlock replied, snapping you from your train of thought.

“Oh well”

“It’s obvious you’re lying. The way you’re standing gives it away almost immediately. By the way you’re fidgeting with your hands I’m guessing it’s to do with someone you care about, someone you love. A friend, family member, a significant other potentially-“

“Sherlock would you just shut up?” You snapped at him.

He looked slightly shocked by your tone. Not at the fact you’d shouted, no he’d heard that plenty of times, but it was never directed at him.

“You know sometimes people like to keep things to themselves. If I wanted you to know I would’ve told you. What the hell gives you the right to deduce me and find something out I never wanted you to know. I thought as my friend you’d have a little bit more respect for my privacy.” You ranted as you grabbed your coat.

“What? y/n where are you going?” Sherlock stood up, confused by your reaction.

“Out. I need some air. Go help Lestrade.” You replied, before slamming the door.

******

You ran your fingers through your hair as you took a seat in the far corner of your favourite coffee shop, thoughts of sherlock whirling round your head. You needed to move past this silly little crush you had. It was already starting to cause tension between the pair of you and you knew if it continued either your friendship would fall apart all together, or sherlock would find out and reject you. Either way ended in you losing him. You needed a distraction, someone to take him off of your mind. But who? John was like your brother so that was off the table, Mycroft rather repulsed you instead of attract you. The thought of asking Greg out had crossed your mind, sure he was attractive enough, but you were too close as friends. Plus you knew your heart wouldn’t be in it. No you needed someone new, someone to sweep you up in a whole new world of emotion. It didn’t necessarily have to be true love, just something to occupy your mind. Slowly you started to realise how hopeless you truly were. You had no time to meet anyone new and all the men in your life weren’t enough. You sighed, looking down at your coffee.

“Excuse me? Is this seat taken?” A smooth Irish voice filled your ears.

You looked up to see a rather attractive man with slicked back black hair and a grey suit jacket on standing in front of you. You felt your stomach flutter as he smiled at you expectantly. His eyes were beautiful. He cleared his throat, still waiting for an answer. You shook your head slightly, chuckling to yourself.

“Um sorry, no its not.” You replied.

“Mind if I sit? It's pretty busy in here and they told me it would be about a half an hour wait.” He said, chuckling.

“By all means” You smiled gesturing to the seat in front of you.

He thanked you and sat down. The two of you sat in silence for a moment. He was looking towards the counter which allowed you to take in his features a little better. His jaw line was magnificently chiselled, line with a short layer of stubble. His arms looked well defined, even under the jacket. He gave off a familiar vibe even though you were certain you had never seen this man before in your life. But something about him felt, comfortable, almost.

“I’ve just realised.” His voice came, breaking you from your thoughts. “Here I am intruding on you and your coffee, and I haven’t even introduced myself. I’m James.” He said holding his hand out to you.

“Hi James, I’m y/n. And you’re not intruding at all, I’ve just been sitting here wallowing in my thoughts.” You joked, internally cringing at yourself.

 However, James didn’t seem weirded out by your statement.

“Something bothering you?” He asked, looking genuinely interested.

You questioned whether or not to say anything, you had just met. In the end you figured – what’s the worst that can happen.

“I think I’m in love with my best friend. And it sucks.” You confessed with a weak smile.

James nodded, smiling slightly. “Okay. Do they not feel the same?” He asked.

“Well I haven’t told him, but no. Relationships, feelings that whole lot – not really his thing. But that’s not even the worst part.” You sighed.

James watched you, staying silent allowing you to continue.

“His job, it’s not the safest. But he helps people, which is good, but he has no regard for his life. I guess it’s just an occupational hazard to him, but watching the man I love almost die like every day of my life is fucking draining. And every time I even try to explain it to him he just gets all stroppy about how I shouldn’t care about what happens to him and that it’s his life and I can’t stop him, which I don’t want to do because I know if he stopped working that a lot of people would suffer. That doesn’t stop him infuriating me on a daily basis.” You ranted, running your fingers through your hair.

“That’s why I am here. He was just getting too much for me.” You concluded leaning back in your chair.

“That sounds really intense.” James replied.

“Yeah his job is a bit mental but like I said he helps-“

“-no no I meant you. The fact that you care so deeply about this man is honestly beautiful, but him seemingly not caring about how his actions effect you – that is intense. And in no way fair to you.” He said, looking you in the eyes.

You were slightly shocked; no one you’d talked about this had ever taken the time to see it from your perspective. But here you were sat with some random bloke in a coffee shop, feeling more seen than ever before.

“Oh…yeah I guess.” Was your response.

You mentally face palmed, what sort of response was that?!

“Americano for J M. J M?” Someone shouted over the sea of people.

James’ head whipped round as he stood to grab his drink. Part of you was sad he was leaving so soon, even if you had just met him.

“Well, I best be off. Told my colleague I’d only be gone a few minutes.” He chuckled, a warm smile spreading over him.

“I’m sorry to have kept you. It was nice meeting you James.” You replied, smiling back.

“Don’t be sorry, it was nice to meet you to y/n. See you around.”

And with that he left. A sigh escaped your lips as you rested your chin against the palm of your hand. He could’ve been just the distraction you were hoping for, but you scared him off with an overload of emotions. Whatever, you’d just need to go out to a bar or something. Even something as simple as a one-night stand would be great right about now. Just as you started to pack up your stuff to leave, the same man appeared at the edge of the table once again.

“James? Did you forget something?” You asked looking around the table.

“Um yes. Well no not exactly. I just wanted to- I know you’re into your friend- we just met so- oh god I’m making a right mess out of this.” He chuckled looking down at his hand which was still grasping the cup from earlier.

“Would you like to go to dinner?” He spat out.

You were once again rendered speechless for a moment.

“I know you said you’re in love with your friend so if you don’t want to or think it would be weird because you hardly know me then that’s fine I just think your beautiful and deserve someone who can treat you well. Not that I’m saying that has to be me but-“

“James?” You cut him off from his ramble.

He looked hopefully at you.

“I’d love to go to dinner.” You said smiling at him.

He left out a sigh of relief. “Okay, brilliant. Do you want to take my number and text me? Or I could take yours?”

“Here” You handed him your phone. “You put your number in there and I’ll take this” You said reaching for his phone. “And put mine in. That way we both can contact the other.”

You typed your number in and handed it back. You took your phone from him, laughing at the contact name

“Mr Americano?” You said glancing up at him.

“You can’t tell me it’s not accurate.” He said laughing.

“Well I’ll be looking forward to your text.” You spoke.

“I’ll see you soon y/n.” He said as he waved goodbye walking out the door.

*****

You returned to 221b in a much better mood. James had texted on the walk home and you’d arranged to go for dinner the next day at 7. You told him you’d meet him there although he did try to convince you to let him pick you up, but you didn’t want sherlock to grill him.

“y/n? Is that you?” The detectives voice called out.

You sighed before replying, preparing yourself for the inevitable conversation to come. “Yeah hi sherlock.”

He came round the corner as you slumped onto the sofa.

“Are you okay?” He asked standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Yeah I’m fine. I’m sorry about earlier, I was just tired and in a bad mood. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You apologized.

“Don’t be. It’s me who should be sorry.”

Your head snapped up at his words. It wasn’t like Sherlock to say sorry.

“I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy like that. You’re my friend and I never want to make you uncomfortable. And I did. So you had every right to be angry at me.” He explained, taking a seat in his chair.

You smiled at him softly. “Thank you Sher, that means a lot. But I’m not angry anymore.” You said genuinely.

“You do appear to be in a better mood. Coffee shop must have worked its magic.” He said glancing at the to go cup still in your hand.

“Something like that.” You muttered, feeling your cheeks blush as you looked at the ground.

“You met someone?” Sherlock stated. Well it was more of a question.

You sighed. There was no point denying it, he could clearly read it in you.

“Yeah. I did. We’re going out tomorrow night.” You replied happily.

“Who’s going out tomorrow night?” John asked as he entered, taking a seat in his chair opposite sherlock.

“I am. I met someone at the coffee shop. He sat at my table, and we started talking. He asked me out and I said yes.” You had the biggest grin on your face, but you were excited.

Excited that someone asked you out, and that you actually felt some type of attraction to him. This could be more than just a distraction. You shook your head slightly at the thought. You’d just met him, there was no reason to be dreaming of a future already. Johns’ eyebrows raised at you.

“Wow.” He glanced at sherlock, who hadn’t said anything. “That’s great y/n. Will we meet him?”

You laughed. “No.”

This caught sherlocks attention. “Why not?” The boys said in unison.

You gestured at the two of them. “Have you met the pair of you? I love you both, but I really don’t need you scaring off the one guy who actually wants to take me on a date.” You picked your stuff up and headed to your room. “I’m going to sleep. See you both in the morning.”

“It’s only 8 o clock” John yelled.

“Well I’m exhausted. Goodnight” You called before closing your bedroom door.

*the next evening*

“Why can’t you come over? It would be a lot easier.” You groaned over the video call.

“Because Tom is over, and I don’t want to leave him.” Molly replied smiling.

You smiled for her. Even if her new boyfriend looked almost identical to Sherlock, you were glad she had someone.

“Okay well what do you think?” You tried to show her the whole dress but trying to fit yourself in the frame was rather awkward.

“I don’t know, dresses aren’t normally your thing are they?” She asked.

“Well no, but I haven’t been on a date in a while, so I wanted to make an effort.” You replied, straightening the skirt.

“Where’s he taking you?”

“Just a little Italian place. Never been there before but it’s near the river. I’ve walked past it like a hundred times.”

“I think you should wear the black dress.” Molly suggested. “The one you showed me at Christmas that you never wore?”

You looked at her, unsure. “Really? Do you know think it’s a bit, I don’t know, flashy?”

“Not at all. It’s perfect. Go on, put it on.” Molly beamed at you hopefully.

You thought about it for a second. “Okay fine, give me a second.” You said, earning a little clap from the screen.

You pulled the blue dress off and found the black one. You pulled it out, admiring it for a moment. It truly was a beautiful dress. It was a soft flowy material, the front falling just above the knees while the back trailed a couple inches further down. The top was in a crossed over, v line neck with two flowy straps going round the neck like a halter top. The back was open which just added to the beauty. It was scattered with sparkles that caught in the light in the most elegant way. In all honesty, you’d been looking for an excuse to wear this for a while. You slipped it on, paired with a pair of chunky black heels as well as your black dahlia necklace. You returned to your phone, so molly was able to see my outfit.

“Well?” You asked nervously.

“Oh my god!! You look gorgeous” Molly squealed.

You laughed slightly but had to agree with her. For the first time in a while, you felt truly beautiful.

“I was thinking of bringing my little black clutch and maybe doing my hair in a messy bun?” You suggested, scooping your hair up.

“Do not touch your hair.” Molly practically yelled.

You blinked, eyes wide, as you dropped your hair. “Why not?”

“Y/n your natural hair is perfect. It looks so much nicer if you leave it down.” She explained.

“But will it not look really messy?” You very rarely wore your hair down due to the fact it was naturally very curly. You always thought it looked quite shabby.

“No trust me. It looks amazing.” You sighed. You trusted her opinion, so you left it. Just then a notification popped up on your phone.

“On my way, be there in about 20 minutes. J x”

“Oh shit, I’ve got to go. He’s on his way there. Okay, thank you for everything Molls. I’ll talk to you later.” You grabbed your things before hanging up the phone.

You rushed out of your room, not even noticing the boys in the front room.

“Wow.” John’s voice came from in front of you.

Your head snapped up, finally clocking they were there. John was sat at the desk with his laptop as stood staring the wall with a bunch of newspaper clippings all over it.

“Y/n you look…wow.” John repeated, looking you up and down.

“uh thank you?” You chuckled nervously as you double checked the contents of my bag.

“I mean that in a good way of course.” He reassured.

You nodded. “Good to know.”

You pulled your jacket on and double checked your makeup in the mirror.

“Right boys, I’m off. No idea what time I’ll be home so don’t wait up.” You turned to walk out the door but walked straight into a certain detective’s chest.

“Jesus sherlock.” He stared down at you, his eyes raking over your body.

“I have to go Sher I’ll be late.” You said, hoping he’d move.

“You are utterly divine.” He muttered. Your heart jumped for a moment.

“What?” You whispered.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly as if he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He moved to the side, letting you move past.

“Have a nice time. Call if you need anything.” He said, turning his back to you.

You stood there, momentarily stunned before you snapped back into reality. You walked towards the door.

“Right. Um yeah, I’ll see you later.” And with that you left the flat, still processing what Sherlock had said.

****

The date was wonderful. James was an absolute gentleman, and if you were being totally honest with yourself – you were falling for him. Since the restaurant the two of you had been out on a good few dates, each one of them making you fall further and further for him. Sherlock wasn’t pleased. You were never around anymore. Well that isn’t strictly true, considering he lives with you, and you help him on cases but in his mind you weren’t there. He felt like he never got a moment to just be with you, without the stress of a mass murderer or a kidnapping on his mind. John had noticed the change in the detective’s behaviour, which just amused him.

“Y/n, we need to go to Cornwall this weekend for a case. It’s a big one, we think Moriarty is behind it.” Sherlock said, striding into the room with john following shortly behind you.

“Hello to you too” You mumbled, adjusting your position on the sofa.

“We are leaving early tomorrow so be ready.” Sherlock continued, ignoring your comment.

“I can’t come, I have plans.” You replied casually.

“Going out with your coffee man again? That’s what like 3 times this week?” John asked, sitting down next to you.

“Yep, he’s got a whole weekend planned for us.” You smiled.

The detective froze, his back to you. The excitement in your voice was evident and Sherlock felt an intense wave of anger wash over him. He didn’t like this side of himself, and he had no idea why you being happy was provoking this reaction from him. He usually loved nothing more then when you were smiling or laughing. But he wanted to be the one making you feel that way.

“Did you not hear what I said? This case has got Moriarty written all over it. You can’t just decide not to come because of some random idiot you met at a coffee shop.” Sherlock seethed.

You frowned at him, standing to face him. “He’s not some random idiot Sherlock. He means a lot to me.” You argued.

“Well then maybe you’re an idiot too. Look cancel your plans; we need you with us.”

You laughed in his face. “I am not an idiot for falling for someone who actually gives two shits about me and treats me well. I’m sorry you don’t know what it feels like to have someone want to be around you but I’m not cancelling my plans to help you with some bullshit case so you can insult me more.” You raged.

You hadn’t meant to sound quite so harsh, but he was really winding you up. Ever since you’d started dating James he took any opportunity he could to make you feel bad about being happy and you were sick of it. You were finally getting over him and he chooses to be an arse about it. Sherlock blinked back at you, momentarily shocked by your words. The tension in the air was thick before he decided to speak again.

“Y/n, we need you. I need you there. Please” He asked, his tone a lot softer.

You sighed, looking at the floor. “I’m sorry Sherlock. I hope it goes well.” You replied before leaving the flat.

Sherlock watched as you left, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened.

“Well…that was…something.” John commented.

*****

The next day when you woke up, the boys had already left. You felt bad because you hadn’t spoken to Sherlock since the argument and now you weren’t going to see him for two days. Thoughts of him getting hurt, or something worse began to flash through your mind. You couldn’t let yesterday be the last thing you said to him. You scrambled to get your phone, finding his contact before shooting him a message. Down in Cornwall, Sherlocks phone buzzed as he was examining a body.

“John.” He instructed.

John sighed “yeah I know, give me a second”

John grabbed the phone from the detective’s coat before pulling up the message. “

Its from y/n” John said.

Sherlocks head snapped up, grabbing the phone from john.

“I didn’t mean what I said. You just know how to push every single one of my buttons Mr Holmes. Stay safe and catch me a killer. y/n xx” Sherlock grinned at the message before promptly putting the phone back in his pocket.

After a while you decided you should probably et up and start getting ready for you’re weekend away. James had told you he’d be round to collect you and 2pm and you still hadn’t packed. It was exciting that he wanted to surprise you, but without knowing where you were going – you didn’t have a clue what to pack. You stared at the wardrobe in front of you, hands on your hips as you wracked your brain on what the best choice was here. However, before you could continue our mental debate much longer your phone started ringing. Deciding to come back to your clothes later, you grabbed your phone and headed to the kitchen.

“Hey, you” You answered happily.

“Hey y/n, how are you?” James asked over the phone.

“I’m good, definitely not packing last minute I don’t know why you would even suggest that” You reply with a light chuckle.

James laughed nervously, making your brow furrow in confusion.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…well actually no. Look I’m really sorry, but I can’t actually take you where I’d planned this weekend” He replied.

Your heart sunk a little as you placed the cup of tea you’d been making on the counter in front of you.

“Oh.” Was all you could think to say.

You had been really excited to get away with him.

“I am so sorry. But something came up at work which means I actually have to stay in London.”

You felt a twinge of annoyance at that. You’d turned down a work opportunity for him, but he couldn’t do the same for you? Not that he knew you done that but that wasn’t the point.

“But I still want to see you. I was just thinking we could do something else instead. I’d offer to let you stay over at mine, but my roommates are pretty annoying and-“

“Stay at mine” You blurted out, not really thinking.

James still was yet to meet John and Sherlock, let alone visit your shared flat. But them being in a way for the weekend presented you with a window of opportunity.

“Really?” He sounded surprised at your suggestion.

“Yeah, I mean that way you don’t have to leave London and we still get to spend the weekend together.”

“But your roommates-“

“Are away for work. They won’t be back till Monday evening at the earliest. We can have the whole place to ourselves” You said, smiling.

“Well that could not be more perfect.” He replied.

“Brilliant, ill text you the address and you can head over for 12ish if that still works?” You suggested as you headed back to your room.

“Sounds good, I have a few work calls to make but I should be done with those in time and then I’ll head straight over.”

“Okay, ill see you soon James” You said goodbye, a grin on your face.

It hadn’t been the weekend you were expecting, but it was good enough for you. It also solved your packing issue. You shoved your suitcase back in your cupboard as you began to tidy the flat, the nerves of him seeing your place for the first time finally setting in. It’ll be fine You thought. A weekend in with eh guy you were falling for, what more could you ask for?

****

It was midday Sunday when the boys were finally back in London, making their way back to their flat. Neither one had bothered to tell you they were on their way home, assuming you were out with your mystery guy.

"john I’m telling you, there was no way Moriarty wasn’t leading us astray. That whole case was way too simple. He’s misdirecting us and we were stupid enough to fall for it.” Sherlock ranted as he unlocked the door.

“That may be true Sherlock but that doesn’t get us any closer to finding out what he’s got planned. You heard what Mycroft said, nothing else has happened while we’ve been away. He may have sent us on what was essentially a wild goose chase, but he hasn’t done anything else so what now?” John replied as they made there way up the stairs.

Sherlock was about to reply as he pushed the door to his flat open, but the sight before him made the words die in his throat.

“Sherlock?” John noticed how tense his friend had become. “What’s wrong-“ He stepped around the detective to look into the apartment, his face dropping in shock.

You heard the door swing open, your head snapping round to see Sherlock staring intently at you.

“What the fuck” You muttered scrambling to get off of James’s lap. You’d been enjoying a rather heavy make out session moments before. Your face flushed red as john also caught sight of you in the compromising position.

“Why are you guys’ home already?” You asked rather frustratedly.

James didn’t say anything, but you noticed his grip on you hadn’t loosened.

“Y/n, come here.” Sherlocks voice was low, almost scarily so.

His eyes burned into you as he glared at you. You noticed the lack of colour in John’s face. Why were they being so weird?

“What? No! What the hell is wrong with the pair of you? You’re acting like you’ve never seen someone kiss before” You scoffed.

“Y/n seriously, listen to him.” John said, a hint of nerves laced in his tone.

You stared at the two of them, feeling increasingly more annoyed. Why were they being so ridiculous?

“No!! John what the hell-“

“Get over here. Now” Sherlock demanded once more.

You were about to reply when you heard a small chuckle from behind you.

“I’m not going to hurt her if that’s what you think” James said from behind you.

You noticed now the boys weren’t glaring at you, but rather him. You turned to face him, utterly lost. His face had changed, he didn’t look as kind as he had moments before. He wore a sinister smirk on his lips, his eyes gleaming with an emotion you couldn’t quite place but it unsettled you to no end.

“James? What are you talking about?”

“Let go of her wrist then” Sherlock replied, talking to him as if you weren’t even in the room.

His words made you realise just how tight James was holding onto you. You tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let you. Your heart was racing, a bad feeling sinking into your bones.

“James, let go” You tried to keep your voice steady, but he noticed the way it wavered.

He chuckled ominously, meeting your slightly panicked gaze. “Would you look at that” He leant forward, so close you could feel his breath on your face.

He reached up a hand to brush some hair from your face, causing you to flinch. “She’s scared. Poor thing. Rather pathetic actually, considering how you had your tongue down my throat not too long ago” He said, his words laced with venom.

Your face flushed red in embarrassment.

“Why are you being like this James?” You asked, your voice just higher than a whisper.

“You know that’s such a boring name. James” He grimaced as he said it. “No I much prefer Jim. Or the name your little friends over there know me by. Any guesses as to what it might be pet?” He asked you with a smirk.

You sat staring at him in silence. Nothing about this situation made sense.

“Moriarty” Sherlock’s voice answered for you.

Your blood ran cold. It felt like your heart had stopped beating as you stared at the man in front of you. The man you had developed feelings for. Your reality came crashing down around you. Fear swept through you as you sat there, frozen.

He grinned wickedly at you. “Hiya love.”

Suddenly you felt the cool metal of a blade against your stomach. You heard the boys tense from behind you. Your breath caught in your throat as Moriarty just laughed.

“Now what are we going to do with you?”

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Thoughts?? Part two??

#x reader #sherlock x reader #sherlock reader insert #sherlockbbc #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock fandom #sherlock holmes #jim moriarty #moriarty the patriot #sherlock fanfic #fluff #angst #fanfic

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

The moment

A/N: This isn't a fic, just something I wrote and felt like sharing. It's a poem sort of i guess, idk i just write shit like this all the time and figured I might as well let someone see it.

It's about that feeling you get when your mental illness isn't something that's ever going to go away. (depressing i know but thats life)

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I sit here and stare, seeing the dull eyes blinking back at me.

I see the tears scarring the face in front of me as they fall.

I see the lifeless figure, watching in horror as the realization of its situation sinks in.

You are unbalanced.

You are unable.

You are beyond repair.

You are broken.

The parasite that plagues the reflection before me is not one that can be cured.

It can not be fought.

It cannot be overruled.

It will be there, persistently making your life hell.

Making everyday normal situations, life shatteringly difficult.

And you get no aid.

No lifelines.

No one to call.

Your voice will echo in the void as you scream.

And you’ll scream until your head is burning and your lungs shrivel up.

Only then will you look back at the reflection, the image of yourself crumpled in a heap of disappear and realize - this is who you are.

You will never be fixed.

And this is the life you were doomed to lead.

#poetry #original poem #poems and quotes #the doctor #doctor who #matt smith x reader #x reader #criminal minds #marvel #fluff #derek morgan #doctor who fan art #bbc sherlock #short poem #writer things #writers and poets #idk man #idk what im doing #idk how to tag this #idk what to tag this as #actually mentally ill #mental illness #mentally fucked #mentalheathawareness #mentally tired #anxitey