Whole
Choices and The Crown and The Flame do not belong to me and neither do any of the characters.
Just a little idea I couldn’t get out of my head.
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The first time he sees her, he is struck by how they are complete opposites. She is small, pale, perfect. Whole. Her glittering white hair falls so elegantly to her shoulders. In comparison he is dark, in complexion and in hair. He is far from perfect. And he is even further from whole. He looks down at his mechanical hands. He knows he will never be good enough for anyone, let alone the likes of her.
He knows she’s a few years younger than him, and it is so, so unlikely that anything will come of this, but he still can’t help how his mind imagines her twirling in his imperfect arms at the victory feast. Unfortunately, she’s too preoccupied with her duties as a newly chosen Empress. She dances and socializes with important allies. It’s a testament to how she’s been raised that she can pick out who is important and powerful from the crowd. She is determined and powerful and confident like her mother. Yet she is also so different from her mother. She genuinely cares about the wellbeing of her people, and she is eager to learn from those wiser and more experienced than her. She’s already so mature for a young teenager. Most importantly, she smiles so freely. Mostly, he notices that smile.
He learns that she is so smart too. She sends him blueprints and prototypes of technologies from Ducitora, complete with detailed instructions written in her own hand. He excitedly shows Kenna the blueprints from Ducitora with instructions for something called an “elevator.” This could have so many applications! His mind is spinning with the possibilities. She continues to amaze him. Powerful, intelligent, and beautiful. He starts to look forward to those letters. Over the years, he learns so much about her. He learns that she is left-handed and impatient from the ink smudges on the paper. He learns that she is passionate about “proper” stationery from the way her handwriting transforms into deeply indented scribbles when discussing the topic. He learns that her dream is to visit Panrion and sail on the legendary ships. He learns that she prefers cats to dogs and coffee to tea; it seems she continues to be his complement, but he no longer sees it as a bad thing. She fills in the spaces left by his faults. Together, they’d be invincible.
The second time he sees her, years later, he is struck by how nervous he is. He hadn’t realized how his “little crush” had grown into more, just from the letters they’ve been sending daily. She obviously looks older, but he hadn’t really prepared himself for the change. Her sparkling hair cascades down to her hips now. She carries herself with more grace and confidence than ever. He can’t help but notice that she’s... filled out, too, from her young teenage years. As he forces his eyes back up, she catches his eye. She remembers years ago feeling his eyes watching her movements. She’d been too shy at the time to acknowledge anything, but she is older now. Playfully, she winks at him. The way his jaw drops open is so satisfying. She carries on as though nothing’s happened and speaks with the dignitaries at her side. She doesn’t look at him the rest of the night but, just as before, she can feel his gaze following her around the room. As the night draws to a close and she finishes dancing with the last of her allies, she catches him heading out into the garden. She slips away quietly to follow him.
She finds him laying on the grass staring up at the stars, and she lies down next to him without a word.
“Whitlock.” He rolls over to look into her eyes.
“Empress Lia.”
“Just Lia for you.” She gazes into his deep blue eyes, which are wide with wonder at the existence of this moment.
She’s been aching for years to know what it’d feel like to kiss him, the curious, smart, fascinating young man she’s come to know through letters. So she closes her eyes and leans forward. The kiss is soft and tentative as he processes what’s happening. Soon, his mechanical arm comes around her to pull her closer. Their mouths move together, slowly, gently, perfectly, as they finally explore for the first time the feelings they’ve had for years.
And in this moment, he feels whole.
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