My version of Transformers Prime Hellbat fighting some dark energon zombies in Mercy!
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“constantine and king shark” this and “constantine fucked a shark” that can we talk about the more likely option that Constantine has fucked or at least gotten close to fucking Bruce wayne
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Hey, DC
Stop being cowards and just let them fuck already.
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Okay so I recently learnt that John Constantine exists. And I love British rat men who don't have their shit together. But since I also know very little about the DCEU and didn't finish the Hellblazer comics yet, I just decided to ship Constantine and Batman. As one does. Anyway, here's an AU idea saved for the future:
Fake dating AU, where Bruce needs a fake date for some reason or another. Something something publicity, he can't use Clark or Diana or anyone else for an unspecified reason. John doesn't know Batman's true identity. Bruce has never heard of John, so he has no clue what he's getting himself into. They meet at a high end bar. Bruce looking for a fake partner, John riding the synchronicity wave and being in the right place at the right time (perhaps he's investigating something). John hits on him and Bruce realises, with a bit of cleaning up, John qualifies for high society and makes his proposal. John agrees because why not, could be fun, nice change of pace.
The plan works out smoothly, John can behave himself if he wants to, Bruce is nice company, so there's no loss there either. Except some time after, someone in the Batfam (I don't know who, I wish I knew them better) comes up to Bruce and goes "hey dad why the hell are you dating John fucking Constantine" and now Bruce hears about his reputation and oh god what has he done. Hijinks ensue. And yes, it would be a Batfam fic as well. Constantine having to deal with Bruce's kids and vice versa. Nobody really knowing how to handle John and John himself signed up for a hot fake boyfriend, maybe a bit more, but not that. And why the hell is Batman stalking him on his missions?
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Devil may cry V enemies: what do they taste like? (And how to cook them) (Cursed headcanons)
Part 1
Some things shouldnt be posted...
This is cursed as fuck but my brain always does weird shit like this and since tumblr is the de facto dump for thoughts like this I feel obligated to share it with you.
Hell Caina
Theyre honestly not very meaty. They have little bits of flesh stuck to their bones and they smell weird.... but their flesh makes a good snack if theres really nothing else. But they taste bland, almost like cardboard... and decay. -1/10
Hell Antenora/Judecca
Their flesh would taste the same as hell caina but those purple things would make good pasta if you blanched them to cook the bitterness away, otherwise that shit would taste like medicine.
If you want purple carbonara, spaghetti or mac and cheese, eat those tenties. 6/10
Pyrobat/Hellbat
theyre spicy and tangy. The texture of their flesh is kinda weird though, its quite leathery, kinda like softer beef jerky. Theyre actually really good for some korean hotpot if you have the patience to slowcook them. As for their heads, theyre too tough to be eaten but if you tossed it into a stew youd be able to get the flavors anyways. If you minced them they'd be great as taco meat because of their flavor. 7/10
Behemoth
A mix of beef and pork! Theyre great for soup, chili, or even pork belly or steak! It depends what part of them youre eating oh and those tongue limbs it has?? Great for a nice cut of filet mignon, and depending where you cut it you could get anything from brisket to bacon. 8/10
Death scissors
Fucking inedible. -1,000,000/10
Proto/scudo angelo
Is there even flesh under there or are they just made of armor through and through? Either way theyre not very meaty and their flesh would be too tough. 0/10
Fury
They look tasty, i mean they look like beef jerky/glazed meat/fruit rollups... theyd be really lean meat, they got potential but their flesh looks hella leathery, but theyre probably hella flavorful. 6/10
They cant all fit in one post so im gonna reblog with a part 2.
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Good evening, Hellsing 🛡️
Do what you need to rejuvenate yourself. 🩸
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After long months of mental and physical struggles, i finally found time to finish this picture for @emperor-kumquat 's Mercy game!
The first official post to feature crazy Hellbat!
Is this the same huggable boi we see in space adventure? The boi that hugs us almost right away and escapes Lyzack's wrath because her brother Leozack has a soft spot for him? Who's powers are sleepy time??
Yes
Absolutely
I love him
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