relating dc characters to phoebe bridgers songs will kill me. anyway
“coming down” (unreleased) is roy harper’s song (i read so much about him yesterday and immediately thought of this song for him. i mean come on!! i can and will dissect all of the lyrics in relation to roy, his relationship with ollie, and his sobriety.)
“funeral” is dick grayson’s song about jason todd
“scott street” is jason todd’s song to bruce wayne
“graceland too” IS SO STEPHCASS
“motion sickness” is how dick feels about bruce at times.
“killer” IS SO STEPH
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lesbian visibility week is cass's least favorite time of the year because it makes sneaking around much harder when everyone is hyperaware of a lesbian presence
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tim: dad... I have a boyfriend
bruce: what? but you're supposed to get back together with stephanie
tim: what?
dick: whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were an ally
bruce: I'm not being homophobic I just need steph to marry into the family
cass: I have something to share
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Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.
Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.
Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:
Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.
Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:
Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.
Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.
Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.
Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?
Roy: But Bruce said-
Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-
*cut to Jason fighting Batman*
Roy: So does this count, or…
Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?
Steph: Outsourcing.
Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*
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Bruce trying to shove talk his in law
Bruce: *opens his mouth*
Wally: *zooms away*
———————
Bruce: *long spiel*
Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.
Roy: *takes out one earbud*
Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?
Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*
———————
Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.
Bruce: Sure.
Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?
Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.
———————
Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.
Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*
Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*
Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*
———————
Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*
Bruce: It's too early for this.
Steph: It's three PM.
———————
Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—
Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.
Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*
———————
Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.
Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?
Bruce: ...You may proceed.
———————
Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.
Bruce: Did you say playDATE?
———————
Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.
Selina: Is this really necessary?
Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!
Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.
———————
Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.
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