might be for a small audience, but here is every instance of bastard/bastards said in Life on Mars
Life on Mars finishes with 57 "bastard(s)" across 2 series: 5 in series 1, 52 in series 2. an average of 3.6 bastards an episode across both series, and 6.5 bastards an episode across s2 alone
s2e3 has the highest rate of "bastards" with 11, 19.3% of all bastards coming from this episode
Gene Hunt takes up 54.4% of all bastards with 31 in total